The Sandlot (1993)

Wil Horneff: Phillips

Photos 

Quotes 

• [the Sandlot Kids and their arch-rivals come face-to-face] 

  Phillips : It's easy when you play with rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez.

  Benny Rodriguez : Shut your mouth, Phillips!

  Ham Porter : What'd you say, crap face?

  Phillips : You shouldn't be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game.

  Ham Porter : Come on! We'll take you on, right here! Right now! Come on!

  Sandlot Kids : Yeah!

  Phillips : We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats.

  Ham Porter : Watch it, jerk!

  Phillips : Shut up, idiot!

  Ham Porter : Moron!

  Phillips : Scab eater!

  Ham Porter : Butt sniffer!

  Phillips : Pus licker!

  Ham Porter : Fart smeller!

  Bertram : [sniffs]  Ahh.

  Phillips : You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek!

  Ham Porter : You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!

  Sandlot Kids : Yeah!

  Phillips : You bob for apples in the toilet! And you like it!

  Ham Porter : You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!

  [entire group stands in shocked silence and Tommy Timmons' smile turns to shock] 

  Phillips : [Shocked]  What did you say?

  Ham Porter : You heard me.

  Phillips : Tomorrow. Noon, at our field. Be there, buffalo-butt breath.

  Ham Porter : Count on it, pee-drinking crap-face!

• Ham Porter : Play ball! Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch.

  [Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing] 

  Ham Porter : Haha, that's one.

  [cuts to new pitch] 

  Ham Porter : [to the batter]  You know, if my dog was as ugly as you. I'd shave his butt and tell him to walk backwards.

  [cuts to new pitch] 

  Ham Porter : Here it comes, it's coming, I tell ya. *Strike three*

  [Porter puts the batter off, he swings and misses] 

  Ham Porter : *You're out!"

  [cuts to new pitch] 

  Ham Porter : Hey, Is that your sister out there in left field, naked? She's naked?

  Phillips : [swings and misses again]  Shut up, Porter!

  Ham Porter : Hey, hey, hey, I'm just trying to have a little friendly conversation, come on.

  [two seconds later] 

  Ham Porter : Think she'll go out with me?