I don't really know what this is, just have been dealing with stuff, and thought I would post this. Comments that I am insane or that "such stresses never happen from positive supernatural events" -- please, avoid.
Heard it all. That is the whole reason why people keep their mouths shut on these things. It is painful to get told such things. It is not sensitive honesty, it is crude and narrow minded.
I use the word "supernatural" here, probably just because as one of my bullet points below points out I have had to adjust my language and actions so much it is second nature for me to be cagey - guarded - on these matters.
Okay, without getting into details, I have had a lot of supernatural events over the years and have seen the following sorts of problems arise routinely:
- Dealing with the world on a regular basis. When you have a massive event, series of events, it can be really hard to "return to earth" and deal with minor stuff that is required for daily living. Brushing teeth, sleeping on a regular schedule, going to work and doing work, eating right, having normal conversations with people or normal interests.
- Learning to deal with people who have (so they claim) never had any kind of supernatural event in their life.
- Negative blowbacks. Extreme disassociations from family relations, paranoid delusions, extraordinary fear delusions, driving into sin to try and be "normal"
- Grappling with identity. Is one so good to experience such things or so bad. Is this normal, if one is silent on such things generally (because the world does not accept them and you learn to be by severe force) how does one know ANYTHING is as it seems ANYWHERE.
- Living a cover life with a cover view on matters. I have had to spend enormous amounts of time and energy attempting to talk and act in ways that appear as normal. I was initially as open and honest as possible, and this, of course, got me into all sorts of trouble. I have learned to be cagey, to keep secrets, to speak in equivalent terms. I am unable to get drunk or really have any meaningful relations with anyone because stuff might spill out which they would have serious problems with. It is worse then if you work in some sort of classified job, because there -- they don't really have any secrets in comparison.
- The stress of secrets. It makes you want to explode on a regular basis. Someone might say "what about the peace of God", sure. But I am human, and the stress of having to keep one's mouth shut in the many situations which arise where you just want to scream that people do not know what they are talking about or such is intense and can happen randomly, out of the blue.
There is such a thing as passion, and when the world operates as if there is nothing going on but what they can see with their physical eyes or ears, it is maddening. There is nothing anyone can do about it.
- Loneliness. Big emotional events are these things and they dwarf everything else. They dwarf divorce, job stress, job loss, bills, car problems, sports, everything. You can not go, "Oh, hey, how was your day?" Or "anything new happen today"? Or with peers at work, "Hey, so anything exciting happen recently?"
- The understanding. It takes time to understand massive things which can happen in one fast moment. Months. Years. One gets better at dealing with such things. It becomes normalized. It is nothing like the movies. MiB, Dark City, Vanilla Sky, Matrix, Inception, Sixth Sense, Dr Who, Fringe, Supernatural... on and on with all the movies out there with people introduced to massive new events and just shrugging it off after a momentary shock. No.
- Uncertainty and Seeking. The more happens, the more one seeks. It is a cycle. An unending cycle. There are rarely clear answers, even in one's heart. There are massive unknowns. Even if something is true, if it is massive, it is extremely difficult to finally come to that decision -- especially if there is no sort of backup anywhere else. No reliance on tradition, no reliance on "what the majority thinks".
Powerlessness. What happens next? What will be the next big revelation? Will it be good? Terrifying? Finally explain things? Will the big answers finally come?
- Escapism. There are countless ways of escape. The desire for escape can be enormous. But, there is, of course, no escape. It can be a Jonah type thing where one has some sort of hidden motive to not want to be responsible for the good of the wicked. Or it can be to just not have to have so much responsibility.
Heard it all. That is the whole reason why people keep their mouths shut on these things. It is painful to get told such things. It is not sensitive honesty, it is crude and narrow minded.
I use the word "supernatural" here, probably just because as one of my bullet points below points out I have had to adjust my language and actions so much it is second nature for me to be cagey - guarded - on these matters.
Okay, without getting into details, I have had a lot of supernatural events over the years and have seen the following sorts of problems arise routinely:
- Dealing with the world on a regular basis. When you have a massive event, series of events, it can be really hard to "return to earth" and deal with minor stuff that is required for daily living. Brushing teeth, sleeping on a regular schedule, going to work and doing work, eating right, having normal conversations with people or normal interests.
- Learning to deal with people who have (so they claim) never had any kind of supernatural event in their life.
- Negative blowbacks. Extreme disassociations from family relations, paranoid delusions, extraordinary fear delusions, driving into sin to try and be "normal"
- Grappling with identity. Is one so good to experience such things or so bad. Is this normal, if one is silent on such things generally (because the world does not accept them and you learn to be by severe force) how does one know ANYTHING is as it seems ANYWHERE.
- Living a cover life with a cover view on matters. I have had to spend enormous amounts of time and energy attempting to talk and act in ways that appear as normal. I was initially as open and honest as possible, and this, of course, got me into all sorts of trouble. I have learned to be cagey, to keep secrets, to speak in equivalent terms. I am unable to get drunk or really have any meaningful relations with anyone because stuff might spill out which they would have serious problems with. It is worse then if you work in some sort of classified job, because there -- they don't really have any secrets in comparison.
- The stress of secrets. It makes you want to explode on a regular basis. Someone might say "what about the peace of God", sure. But I am human, and the stress of having to keep one's mouth shut in the many situations which arise where you just want to scream that people do not know what they are talking about or such is intense and can happen randomly, out of the blue.
There is such a thing as passion, and when the world operates as if there is nothing going on but what they can see with their physical eyes or ears, it is maddening. There is nothing anyone can do about it.
- Loneliness. Big emotional events are these things and they dwarf everything else. They dwarf divorce, job stress, job loss, bills, car problems, sports, everything. You can not go, "Oh, hey, how was your day?" Or "anything new happen today"? Or with peers at work, "Hey, so anything exciting happen recently?"
- The understanding. It takes time to understand massive things which can happen in one fast moment. Months. Years. One gets better at dealing with such things. It becomes normalized. It is nothing like the movies. MiB, Dark City, Vanilla Sky, Matrix, Inception, Sixth Sense, Dr Who, Fringe, Supernatural... on and on with all the movies out there with people introduced to massive new events and just shrugging it off after a momentary shock. No.
- Uncertainty and Seeking. The more happens, the more one seeks. It is a cycle. An unending cycle. There are rarely clear answers, even in one's heart. There are massive unknowns. Even if something is true, if it is massive, it is extremely difficult to finally come to that decision -- especially if there is no sort of backup anywhere else. No reliance on tradition, no reliance on "what the majority thinks".
Powerlessness. What happens next? What will be the next big revelation? Will it be good? Terrifying? Finally explain things? Will the big answers finally come?
- Escapism. There are countless ways of escape. The desire for escape can be enormous. But, there is, of course, no escape. It can be a Jonah type thing where one has some sort of hidden motive to not want to be responsible for the good of the wicked. Or it can be to just not have to have so much responsibility.
