Summary
- "Kip, Bring Me My Chapstick": Napoleon's obsession with chapstick showcases his quirky personality and everyday struggles in high school.
- "Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?": Napoleon's interaction with bizarre characters, like the farmer, adds to the hilarity of the film.
- "Worst Day Of My Life, What Do You Think?": Napoleon's sarcastic response to his grandmother highlights his unique sense of humor and his ability to push back against bullies.
In 2004, a small, innocuous comedy premiered, and soon everyone was repeating the best Napoleon Dynamite quotes to their friends. As with other irreverent teen comedies like Superbad and Juno, it wasn’t afraid to focus on celebrating the socially awkward kids in high school. Nearly every scene provided a random assortment of inane hilarity, delivered with deadpan seriousness by every cast member. Because there was nothing ironic or tongue-in-cheek about the characters in general, the best Napoleon Dynamite quotes made the dialogue feel both absurd and absurdly real.
Just about every line was seemingly written with subsequent fan quotes in mind. Almost everyone in the cast of the quirky high school comedy Napoleon Dynamite, from Jon Heder in the title role to Efren Ramirez as Pedro and Aaron Ruell as Kip had a chance to deliver lines that became instantly quotable. From Napoleon's awkward, backhanded compliments and obsession with tots to Kip's fascination with online dating and cage fighting, every word coming from the featured characters' mouths is gold and the best Napoleon Dynamite quotes have the power to live forever.
25 "Kip, Bring Me My Chapstick"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
High school can seem like it's made up of one catastrophe after another, with seemingly innocuous problems becoming matters of life or death. Napoleon's day-destroying catastrophe? Running out of chapstick while stuck at school, something that prompts him to quickly call his older brother Kip with one of the best Napoleon Dynamite quotes. Kip, as calm as an ambulance dispatcher, explains that the school nurse has five chapstick tubes in her drawer, more than enough to solve Napoleon's emergency. Napoleon doesn't condone using someone else's chapstick and must brave chapped lips for the remainder of the day. It is a perfect look at Napoleon and who he is at school.
24 "Do The Chickens Have Large Talons?"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
As with many coming-of-age movies, Napoleon is faced with the harsh realities of growing up and taking on more responsibilities. This includes a brief scene in which he takes a low-paying job tending to chickens on a chicken farm. As the farmer gives the simple instructions for the job, Napoleon asks if the chickens have sharp talons, worrying about the safety of the job only for the farmer to claim he doesn't understand a word Napoleon is saying. As outrageous as Napoleon can be, it is a lot of fun seeing him find other bizarre characters and interact with them.
23 "Worst Day Of My Life, What Do You Think?"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
As if the chapstick situation wasn't bad enough, Napoleon had to get through an entire day of high school just to come home and find that Kip had eaten all the chips. Not only that but he was allowed to pass off dinner duty for Tina because he was chatting with "hot babes." When Napoleon's absentee grandmother asked him how his day went, he was sure to let her know it was the worst day of his life—especially since they were out of steaks, and he'd have to fend for himself as far as dinner was concerned.
22 "I Caught You A Delicious Bass"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
Napoleon does a lot of things to secure Deb's (Tina Majorino) affection, and this includes offering her some delicious bass. Just like in the game of tetherball, sometimes he swings and makes contact, and sometimes he misses and gets hit in the face—but he always tries his hardest. Luckily, Deb decides to play tetherball with him, which means that, even if Napoleon loses the game, he's still won at life. Deb doesn't seem to find it in the least bit strange that he offers her fish as a courting gift, which is one of the reasons they're so perfect for one another. It is one of the charming scenes that makes Napoleon Dynamite the perfect movie for a bad day.
21 "I Told You! I Spent It With My Uncle In Alaska Hunting Wolverines!"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
Where a teenager spends their summer can be a big deal, with the one who's stayed home doing nothing often deemed the biggest loser. Not one to be outdone by Don, one of Napoleon's biggest bullies, one of the best Napoleon Dynamite quotes is a wild story about how he wiled away the summer days during a chat in the locker room. Unfortunately at this point in the movie, Napoleon hasn't learned how to be his authentic self, so he resorts to hiding behind tall tales and getting defensive so that the bullies will leave him alone. Napoleon isn't like most movie nerds and is willing to push back against bullies even with outrageous claims like this.
20 "How Much Do You Want To Bet I Can Throw This Football Over Them Mountains?"
Uncle Rico (Jon Gries)
Overly convinced of his self-importance, Napoleon's Uncle Rico wanders through life with a football in his hand, wondering what would have happened if the coach had put him in during the fourth. There's no doubt in his mind they'd have gone all the way to state. Uncle Rico does the opposite of what a loving, concerned adult relative would do and tries to make Napoleon feel horrible about himself while simultaneously blaming everyone around him for his problems. In one of the best throwaway scenes in movies, Uncle Rico sounds a lot like Al Bundy in his bragging about his football skills here.
19 "Like Anyone Could Even Know That."
Kip (Aaron Ruell)
While Napoleon is immediately against the idea of Uncle Rico staying with them, Kip seems open to the idea of having a strong male mentor in the house and even indulges Rico's sad fantasies about his football skills. When Napoleon rejects Uncle Rico's football videos as the worst ever made, Kip stands up for his uncle. Hilariously, the best defense he can come up with is pointing out how improbable it is that someone could actually know if it is the worst video ever made. That sort of dumb humor is what makes Napoleon Dynamite so rewatchable.
18 "I Reckon You Know A Lot About Cyberspace? Your Ever Come Across Anything Like Time Travel?"
Uncle Rico (Jon Gries)
If Uncle Rico wasn't such an unlikable guy, it would be easy to feel sorry for him. Despite his bragging nature, he often falls into melancholy moments where he talks about all of his regrets and missed opportunities in life. The extent of his pathetic nature comes when he asks Kip if he knows anything about time travel because of his knowledge of "cyberspace." The idea of Uncle Rico going back in time to recapture his glory days feels like a missed opportunity for the Napoleon Dynamite sequel that never happened.
17 "Tina, You Fat Lard, Come Get Some Dinner"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
Life is tough for Napoleon Dynamite. He lives with his grandmother, has to put up with being bossed around by his washed-up-high-school-football star Uncle Rico, and gets picked on by his deadbeat older brother Kip, who somehow claims he can get all the best women. One of Napoleon’s frequent punishments for being lazy around the house or sassing family members at the dinner table is being made to feed the llama. That could explain why he's so aggressive toward her when giving her food. Sadly, it isn't the llama's fault, but Napoleon lashes out when he feels disrespected.
16 "Dang It!"
Kip (Aaron Ruell)
Another one of the random subplots in the movie involves Uncle Rico and Kip becoming door-to-door salespeople. Their first item is a tupperware set which is advertised as being extra durable. To his credit, Uncle Rico proves to be an adequate salesman and even challenges the clients to attempt to tear the tupperware which they are unable to do. The scene then cuts to Kip demonstrating the product's durability by putting it under the tire of his van. After the tupperware immediately shatters when driven over, the speed with which Kip curses himself and drives off makes for one of the biggest laughs in the movie.
15 "Whatever I Feel Like I Wanna Do, GOSH!"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
Napoleon Dynamite is a simple man of simple desires; he just wants to be really good at tetherball, learn how to draw really well, and impress Deb enough to maybe get a girlfriend. These are impossible dreams when everyone thinks he's a joke, right down to a random kid on the school bus. This coming in such an early scene helps to establish who Napoleon is and how people around him treat him but it also is so funny because of the delivery from Jon Heder.
14 "We Both Know That I'm Training To Be A Cage Fighter."
Kip (Aaron Ruell)
Napoleon returned home from a rough day at school that involved bullying and chapped lips only to find out that Kip has eaten all the chips. Kip says he was online (resulting in a very weird movie couple) and mentions becoming a cage fighter. Napoleon knows Kip is delusional, especially since real training to be a cage fighter doesn’t involve eating bags of chips and exercising fingers on a keyboard. Good thing Kip’s easily distracted so that Napoleon can land one sweet slap with his self-proclaimed ninja skills—which he has been practicing.
13 "Who's The One That Knows Illegal Ninja Moves From The Government?"
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
Napoleon doesn’t like a lot of people, but he really hates Don. Don is probably right up there with his Uncle Rico in terms of people who make him feel bad all the time and ruin his social life. So, when Don threatens him, Napoleon decides he’s had enough. It doesn’t matter that Don is the school jock. In one of the best Napoleon Dynamite quotes, he tells Don he doesn’t have illegal ninja moves from the government, which Napoleon is going to unleash on him.
12 "I See You're Drinking 1%. Is That 'Cause You Think You're Fat? 'Cause You're Not."
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
Every quirky high school comedy needs a quirky romance. When Napoleon delivers an icebreaker to start a conversation, that icebreaker can be anything thanks to his awkward way of thinking. When Napoleon spies Deb sitting alone drinking 1% milk in the cafeteria, he sees his chance to make a move. He decides to tell her that if she’s avoiding whole milk because she thinks she’s fat, she doesn’t have to. To him, she’s perfect just the way she is. It's an inherently sweet message, it's just poorly executed.
11 "I Guess You Could Say Things Are Getting Pretty Serious."
Kip (Aaron Ruell)
After Uncle Rico arrives at the Dynamite household, he and Kip go to a local diner, and Kip asks him about his dating life. He stated that he broke up with his girlfriend because she said he was stuck in the past, and he then inquired about Kip's online relationship. Kip says that he and LaFawnduh have been "getting pretty serious" because they chat with each other online for two hours a day. It's meant to be a joke, but, given that the two would marry not long after, things must have been pretty serious.
10 "I Spent Like Three Hours Doing Shading The Upper Lip. It's Probably The Best Drawing I've Ever Done."
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
As it turns out, it is not just Deb who Napoleon has a hard time giving compliments to. When Napoleon finds out that Pedro and Deb are going to the dance together, he has to set his sights on a new girl. He attempts to woo his uninterested classmate Trisha by doing a sketch of her. Seemingly unaware of how terrible it looks, Napoleon also thinks commenting on the darkness of Trisha's upper lip is a good move. Luckily for Napoleon, seems totally oblivious to how bad he is with women.
9 "I Don't Even Have Any Good Skills. You Know, Like Nunchuck Skills, Bow Hunting Skills, Computer Hacking Skills."
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
How might one win the heart of the girl they're in love with if they don’t have any skills? While it’s true that Napoleon says he shot 50 wolverines with a 12-gauge at his uncle’s house one summer, he can’t really prove that to Deb. She would want to see how he did it, and he said he can’t just teleport 50 wolverines to Idaho. Pedro can grow a mustache in like three days and Uncle Rico can throw a football really far, but Napoleon can’t win at tetherball. Napoleon settles on showing off some of his dance moves instead, hoping that will capture Deb’s heart.
8 "Make Yourself A Dang Quesadilla."
Grandma (Sandy Martin)
Returning home from school after what he announces to be one of the worst days of his life, Napoleon's grandmother reveals she'll be going to their aunt's house for the afternoon—a trip which would, according to Uncle Rico, result in her breaking her coccyx. Before departing, the boys' grandmother (It's Always Sunny's Sandy Martin) mentions they're out of steak, and Napoleon questions what he's going to eat. His grandmother then angrily retorts that he could make himself "a dang quesadilla." It's an odd thing to shout at someone, but the line is made hilarious thanks to her mispronunciation of the word "quesadilla."
7 "It's Pretty Much My Favorite Animal. It's Like A Lion And A Tiger Mixed... Bred For Its Skills In Magic."
Napoleon Dynamite (Jon Heder)
In his effort to win over Deb’s heart, Napoleon decides to draw her portrait, but not before practicing his drawing skills on his favorite animal, the liger. Deb isn’t familiar with this majestic beast, but Napoleon soon goes on to explain its finer properties in one of the best Napoleon Dynamite quotes. It’s a mix between a lion and a tiger—and the fact it has magical abilities. The only thing magical about these fantastic beasts is their difficult lives, considering that the process of their hybridization often results in a lot of health problems. However, for Napoleon, they are mythical creatures.
6 "Your Mom Goes To College."
Kip (Aaron Ruell)
Early on in the movie, Deb shows up at the Dynamite house looking to promote her photography service and sell hand-made crafts. Napoleon shifts between confused and disinterested, and Deb, annoyed, states that she's doing it because she's trying to raise money for college. Kip, sitting on the couch inside, hears this and shouts "your mom goes to college," an insult he apparently finds to be pretty funny. In this beloved cult classic, Deb becomes upset and runs away, abandoning her things on Napoleon's porch, and Napoleon is left to wonder what he should do with Deb's box and why "your mom goes to college" is any kind of insult.