Wedding Crashers

Wedding Crashers is a 2005 film starring Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn about John Beckwith and Jeremy Grey, a pair of committed womanizers who sneak into weddings to take advantage of the romantic tinge in the air.

Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): David Dobkin
Production: New Line Cinema
  11 wins & 11 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
64
Rotten Tomatoes:
76%
NR (Not Rated)
Year:
2005
128
$209,218,368
Website
16,769 Views

Janice:
Why do you need this?

Jeremy:
I sleep over at John's house every year for his birthday.

Janice:
Okay, that's not creepy.

Jeremy:
I guess it is a little creepy, when a young man, who happens to be an only child, loses both of his parents in a tragic accident one month before his birthday and then has his best friend make a vow that he will never spend his birthday alone. Yea, maybe that would fall under the category of creepy.

Janice:
Oh my god, I'm so sorry.

Jeremy:
That's okay.

Janice:
No, you're really sweet. I've got the perfect girl for you.

Jeremy:
Ahh, Janice, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there you're wondering "Do I have food on my face? Am I eating? Am I talking too much? Are they talking enough? Am I interested? I'm not really interested. Should I play like I'm interested? But I'm not that interested, but I think she might be interested. But do I want to be interested, but now she's not interested, so now all of a sudden I'm getting--I'm started to get interested." And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door 'cause then it's awkward? It's like, well, "Goodnight. Do you do like the ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and the ass sticks out because you're trying not to get too close or just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all?" It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while your just really want to know are we going to get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions. And perhaps play a little game called just the tip, just for a second, just to see how it feels, or "Ouch, ouch, you're on my hair."

Janice:
Okay.

Jeremy:
Okay, could you, could you put that so he--he can't see it. Thank you. Hey, Janice, great talk.

Jeremy:
(confesses to a priest) She's good. I mean, I believed that she was a virgin and it hurts to be lied to like that. It's a horrible feeling to feel that way. But I, you know, was looking to take advantage of something, too, so could I really feel that bad? It's not like I was who I was. You know what I'm saying? So fair play. And let's be honest with each other here, okay? Let's put all the cards on the table. She's fit for a straight-jacket, this broad is f***ed three ways towards the weekend, and you want to know what? I dig it! It turns me on! Yeah, it turns me on! Because you want to know what the kicker is, Father? Maybe I'm a little f***ing crazy! That's right, maybe Jeremy is a little nuts! And there's something about me that I'm a little cuckoo. I know it's a surprise. I know it's not on the surface. Man, I had a little imaginary friend when I was a kid. His name was Shiloh. We used to play checkers with each other everyday and bless his heart, Shiloh would always let me win.

Priest:
Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Jeremy:
And that ain't normal! There's something odd in that, but maybe that's what it takes to make you feel connected to somebody. I don't know! But I know when that red-head starts getting kooky, there's something about me that feels alive inside. Diggin' talking with ya. You're a really enlightened cat and I like that about you. Think you're a special special man. Come in for the real thing. Get in here for the real thing. (kisses the priest) I love you, you're a sweet man.

Priest:
Dear God.

Jeremy:
(with sleeping bag) Happy birthday. Can't let a little pissing and moaning break tradition.

John:
Alright, it's today.

Jeremy:
See you've been getting into a little light reading.

John:
It's not mine, I bought that for a friend.

Jeremy:
Yeah. So how ya been?

John:
Great, really spectacular.

Jeremy:
Well good. What have you been up to?

John:
Ya, you know, this and that. Crashing weddings.

Jeremy:
Alone?

John:
No, not alone.

Jeremy:
Well, who have you been crashing with then?

John:
Chazz.

Jeremy:
Chazz?

John:
Chazz.

Jeremy:
John, you don't even know Chazz. Don't st--

John:
Yes, I do. He's a great guy. We've been having a ball together.

Jeremy:
Alright look. I wanted to come by here and, and tell you I really feel bad about everything that's happened between us. Your friendship means a lot to me. I miss seeing ya.

John:
I know, I--look I'm, I'm happy for you. I'm glad you found someone.

Jeremy:
I can't tell you how glad it makes me to hear you say that man. Get on in here, let the big bear get his paws on ya (hugs him). You know I love you. It's good to see you.

John:
It's good to see you.

Jeremy:
Are you sure you've been okay, this does not look like a guy who's been okay.

John:
Ahh, I know. Looks like a pig sty.

Jeremy:
Like a mosh pit in here. Listen, I'm getting married.

John:
Get out.

Jeremy:
What? You just sat there and said you were happy for me that I'm--

John:
I'm hanging by a thread. I'm reading "don't kill myself" books.

Jeremy:
You said that the book wasn't your's.

John:
Don't worry about the book. It isn't mine, but I glanced at it.

Jeremy:
John, you've been my friend for 16 years. I'm getting married. I need you there to be my best man.

John:
Kindly leave!

Jeremy:
I'm trying--

John:
Kindly leave.

Jeremy:
Mean a lot to me if you came.

John:
Oh, I bet it would! Hillbilly!

Jeremy:
What?!

John:
White trash!

Jeremy:
What are you talking about?

John:
Out. Out.

Jeremy:
You better get your ass to that wedding.

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