Robert Reacts (ASOIAF/Everything Open Sandbox)

FullParagon · Sep 16, 2021

do not post a video and a simple request to react to it
This has been said before, but let me make this clear: if you have a request, you need to post WHY it would be something cool for a reaction, not simply post the video and a one liner that amounts to "this would be funny." From here on out, failure to comply with this standard will be met with infracts and ejection from the thread for a few days on the first offense, and permanently for repeat offenders.

Honourable596 · Aug 17, 2020

Sheev said:
Eh, I didn't think much of that one. It didn't make much sense as a match-up. Even though they're both psychotic clowns, the Joker doesn't generally have much to do with vehicular combat. He has used vehicles for crimes of course. And the Arkham Knight game did give him a neat Jokermobile. But elaborate schemes are more his thing.

Watching through the episodes, I think that Joker will wait until I do Batman vs Captain America. Batman will wait until I do T.J. Combo, Samurai Jack, and Obi-Wan.

Jcogginsa · Aug 17, 2020

Sheev said:
Eh, I didn't think much of that one. It didn't make much sense as a match-up. Even though they're both psychotic clowns, the Joker doesn't generally have much to do with vehicular combat. He has used vehicles for crimes of course. And the Arkham Knight game did give him a neat Jokermobile. But elaborate schemes are more his thing.

IIRC, it was a test run for the idea of doing a Death Race

prussian granadier · Aug 18, 2020

if there is any death battle they see it should be the guts vs nightmare one , its the most relatable to them

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 18, 2020

Robert Reacts to: An Age of Prosperity, The Kingdom of Denmark. 2

Saxon Duchies Revolting

In 1223 Valdemar II have a multiplied of vassals, some staying loyal, others joining the rebellion:

Tyrion: So far, so par for the course.

Eddard: Worst thing about rebellions; you are never quite sure who is with or against you.

Robert: Agreed, the politics are a fucking nightmare.

County of Holstein, the main battlefield of the rebellion, with the governor Albert of Orlamünde dead, the minor nobles declare their support for Adolf IV.

Robb: I knew it was bad, but not to this extend.

Jon: To think, King Valdemar just lost his nephew, and now that nephew's subjects have betrayed him...

Hamburg, The once free Imperial city is now a part of Denmark, and have a Danish garrison; it stays Loyal to Valdemar II, in hope of gaining recognition as a free city of the Danish Kingdom.

Robert: Well thats some good news, even if it is not any true sense of loyalty.

Jaime: Well their choice of side was made for them really. Might as well get the best out of it (like I had to...)

Lübeck, not a free imperial city, and is too garrisoned and under direct Danish control, the city council stays loyal to Valdemar II, with much the same hopes as Hamburg.

Cersei: More good news for the "Victorious".

County of Ratzeburg, this small county is sandwiched between Holstein, and the count of Schwerin's land, it quickly falls to the forces of Count Henry I, in his objective to link up with his ally Adolf IV

Robb: Well, at least it seems they remained loyal.

Jon: Not that it helped much.

Duchy of Mecklenburg, the origination of the rebellion, with no actual duke at the head of the nobles*, the decision falls to the four major landowners:

Henry Borwin II, the most powerful noble in Mecklenburg, and duke in all but name. He is the Lord of Mecklenburg, but also the lands of Parchim and Werle. Unhappy that Valdemar II have taken control of his uncles land of Rostock after his death, and that the County of Ratzeburg were not given to him, since he had been the one to subjugate it in 1220. He decides to throw his support behind Adolf IV and Henry I.
Henry I, Count of Schwerin, is one of the leaders of the rebellion from start.
Peter, Bishop of Ratzeburg and Brunward, bishop of Schwerin, both decides that their loyalty is towards the arch diocese of Bremen, and both throw their support to the rebellion.

Robert: Well, Henry Sch-Swe- (of fuck it) SVERING was a given...

Eddard: And Henry Borwin shouldn't be a surprise either, given the reasoning.

Luwin: What puzzles me your grace, is these so called "Bishops", and the fact they are apparently loyal to this Bremen, rather than their liege. What institution do they belong to?

Map

Principality of Rügen, Prince Vitslav I, supports Valdemar II

Tyrion: If nothing else, this tells us that a duchy is not a principality, like Dorne.

Duchy of Pomerania, Pomerania is split into 3 duchies: Pomerania-Demmin in the west, with Wartislaw III as duke, however his mother Ingard of Denmark is the regent. Pomerania-Stettin with Barnim I as duke, with Miroslava of Pommeralia as regent. Lastly, there is Pomerania-Schlawe-Stolp in the eastern parts with Ratibor II as duke. All supports Valdemar II

Joffery: What is this idiocy? One of the so called "duchies" is actually three different ones! What kind of barbaric society do they live in?!

Robert: For once, he actually has a point.

Duchy of Estonia, Knud Valdemersen, the illegitimate son of Valdemar, stays loyal, however he is in no position to actually help. German settlers and the Brothers of the Sword are a problem on his duchy's borders from the south.

Jon: Wait he has a bastard? And he gave him land? And he actually remained loyal... (looks triumphantly at Catelyn).

Robert: I am liking this Valdemar more and more!

Cersei and Catelyn: Of course you would...

angroon · Aug 20, 2020

it would be awesome if they reacted to this! It's so awesome!

Calculatus · Aug 20, 2020

Part 2 is coming along! You can expect it to come out on the week-end at the latest.

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 21, 2020

Robert Reacts to: An Age of Prosperity, The Kingdom of Denmark. 3

Saxon Duchies Revolting II

After the attack on Lyø, Valdemar II returned to his holdings in Vordingborg, on southern Sjælland, sending a message to Henry Borwin II, the lord of Mecklenburg, to gather his forces and arrest his southern neighbor the Count of Schwerin. However Valdemar II have not realised that the abduction plan were a part of a larger plot against his dominion of northern Germany. In early June, Count Adolf IV von Schaunburg crossed the Elbe River from Stade towards Pinneberg, with 3.000 men, a few days later Count Henry I of Schwerin moves from Boizenburg towards Ratzeburg, with 1.500 men.

Jaime: Only 4.500? There must be more, any of The Seven Kingdoms could muster ten times that.

Tyrion: You forget, brother that the entirety of Denmark, is only just over half the size of the Crownlands.

Eddard: And yet there are at least two major cities in the southern part alone.

Robert: You're right, this is just the beginning.

With Count Adolf IV being welcomed back and not seen as a conquer he moves his army southeast towards Hamburg, however they are met by closed gates, the city have stayed loyal to Valdemar II. The same sight is met by Count Henry I at Lübeck, his army now numbering 2.000 being bolstered by the men of Ratzeburg. In late June both armies merges near the town of Segelberg, they are marching towards the border town of Rensborg, if they can successfully take the castle, they can stop an eventually army from Slesvig, from crossing into Holstein. In the last days of June Henry Borwin II Lord of Mecklenburg invades the Danish controlled Rostock, something he claims as rightfully his, the invasion is successfully with most of the area falling under his control the following two weeks; however, the Danish garrison in Rostock are prepared for a siege

Robert: A good plan, but I doubt the Danish are beaten that easily.

Eddard: The cities certainly have other plans.

Jaime: And I was right, Henry I's army grew by a full third, while on campaign.

Valdemar II arriving in Slesvig, to gather an army, opens the start of July; His Marsk Johannes Ebbesen is doing the same on Sjælland. With Valdemar finally realizing the scale of the rebellion, In the middle of July Prince Vitslav I starts preparation to field his own army, having gotten orders from Valdemar II to gather his own men, but also the men from Pomerania. At the same time the combined army of Adolf IV and Henry I have arrived at Rensborg, their combined forces are now numbering about 8.000 with men from Holstein bringing up the numbers. However, Rensborg is a castle located in the middle of the Eider River and in the castle; Valdemar II is encamped with 2.500 men. The castle is in Danish hands and are unlikely to change. It is however a natural choke point if Valdemar wants to retake Holstein from Slesvig, so the two counts are happy with the standstill, as they are now in control of everything south of the Eider river, except Lübeck and Hamburg. As July is ending 2.000 men from Northern Slesvig arrives to reinforce Valdemar II.

Robert: And finally Valdemar's responds! And who is this "Marsk"?

Tyrion: Perhaps their equivalent to the Hand of the King?

Robert: Ha! You hear that Ned? Just like me and you back in the rebellion!

Eddard: Indeed Robert, except its the other way round here

Robert: 8.000? Seems that they are reaching a respectable size.

Eddard: Aye, if we assume that the population is half that of the Crownlands... then it doesn't seem Valdemar can match these numbers, not without the cities help.

Jaime: A damn shame.

Eddard: Why?

Jaime: City-levies are usually better equipped, not to mention the professional garrison.

Theon: Not that it helped Lannisport much.

Jaime, Tyrion, Cersei: :rage:

As summer reaches autumn the rebellion have hit a stalemate, except in the southeast were no army yet have challenged Henry Borwin II, however an attack on Rostock had been repulsed by the garrison, meanwhile from Sjælland 4.000 men and 2.000 from Nørrejylland arrives in southern Slesvig. At the same time, 1.000 men from Dithmarschen joined the army of the two counts.

Robert: And the rebels suffer the first setback... strange that I'm not cheering for them...

Eddard: They are already in Autumn? Is this another world with quarter year seasons?

Jon: Must be...

Jaime: Wait, they have more forces?

Tyrion: Their population must be larger than we assumed, or...

Cersei: Or what, imp?

Tyrion: Or they have a much more efficient muster system, than any of the Seven Kingdoms.

Danish Soldiers

Robert: Well, they could do with more plate. But otherwise; not too shabby!

Robb: Wait this can't be right... even their levies and militia wear mail!

Jon: Perhaps it's just the officers?

Tyrion: Or maybe they are so rich that they can afford it.

Joffery: Don't be a fool imp! No one is that rich!

Luwin: *book appears on lap* Your Grace! My Lords! This books claims to contain trivial but useful information!

Robert: Well, what does it say?

Luwin: While the danish levy system will be explained more in a different chapter. It seems that the danish main levy - the "Leding" - requires each "Skipæn" to equip their levies with a minimum number of mail shirts. Furthermore, the specifics of the "Leding" system, as well as the wealth the towns gain from trade, encourage a larger amount of mail armour, than usual for other levies.

Jaime: By the gods... Levies in mail...

Barristan(has just caught up): Imagine how strong their foot must be. They would be a nightmare for knights.

In October, Rostock falls to Henry Borwin II as the garrison is starved and overwhelmed by the superior numbers of the lord of Mecklenburg's forces. However Henry Borwin II do not have much time to celebrate, as his scouts informs him that Prince Vitslav I have crossed the border of between the Principality of Rügen and the Duchy of Mecklenburg. Henry Borwin II lets his troops rest while he awaits the Army of Prince Vitslav I.

Barristan: Looks like they weren't prepared for a long siege.

Robert: Yet things are finally coming to a head!

On the 20th of October battle is joined between the army of Henry Borwin II, some 4.000 men and Prince Vitslav I army of around 5.000. The first pitched battle of the Saxon rebellion is arguable between to two most experienced field commanders of the war. The battle drags out, as neither side are capable of breaking up the opposing sites infantry formations; as such both armies withdraw as the sun sets. The next day, the armies again battle it out, however Prince Vitslav I's succeeds in breaking the left flank of Henry Borwin II's forces, and the Wendish cavalry manages to ride most of the fleeing infantry down. While a victory for Prince Vitslav I, the opposing army manages to safely retreat the rest of their forces, and while badly mauled, and in no position to challenge the Army of Vitslav I, it is still in the field.

Eddard: An important victory, but not a decisive one.

In early November, Johannes Ebbesen secretly moves most of the Danish army to Schleswig on the eastern coast, here he embarks them on ships and land them in Holstein at the Kieler Förde, south of the Eider River, unknown to the two counts. Valdemar II realising that the Holy Roman Emperor, might intervene while the armies are in winter camp have decided to try to end the rebellion with a decisive battle. However not looking forward to crossing the swamp like Eider River, he decides to use his capabilities to move his army by sea; it does however leave Rensborg in a vulnerable position. The manoeuvre is successful and the two counts is taken by near complete surprise, however they have enough warning to set up the army, the field of battle they have no say in though, they are stuck between Rensborg and the Danish army.

Jaime: Moving his army by sea, in secret?

Theon: They must be sailors only second to the Ironborn!

The following battle is story of brutality, with the Saxon army incapable of retreating, and with the Danish one in a vulnerable position if they are forced to retreat. Both armies are near identical strength about just shy of 10.000 each, nevertheless the Saxon force have a much larger amount of cavalry compared to the Danish army. Which makes the first part of the battle a desperate struggle for the Danish army to keep the Saxon one contained and not get overrun by the enemy cavalry. The battle ended when Valdemar II judged his timing superbly and send out the Danish Heavy cavalry from Rensborg, having retained it in Rensborg not only for logistical reasons, but also for tactical ones. As the Heavy cavalry hammers into the of the Saxon infantry, the Dithmarschen men are the first to break, as the Saxon formation evaporates, the battle turn from fighting to butchery. Count Henry I is slain on the field, and Count Adolf IV is taken prisoner.

Robert: Neither side able to retreat... that would be messy.

Barristan: Indeed, yet it would seem that the Danish were the better fighters this day.

Jaime: Ironic, the ones with the best hope of retreat, were the ones who didn't.

In late November Henry Borwin II crosses the Elbe into the Holy Roman Empire, realizing with the shattering of the two counts army the rebellion is over, not expecting any leniency from Valdemar II, he chooses exile over imprisonment.

Joffery: And the coward runs away.

Cersei: Yes my boy, as are all who would seek to rise above their station.

Robert, Eddard, Robb, Jon, Theon, Barristan: :wtf:

Jaime: What else could he do? If he stayed, he would be trapped between two armies. One of which is more than twice that of his own!

Calculatus · Aug 23, 2020

RR: Death Battle! Beerus vs. Galaxia Part 2!

Wiz: The galaxy, the solar system, the planet, the moon, each is an essential piece in the ever-shifting whirlwind of the cosmos.
Boomstick: That's why they all have their own super protector. Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, they're the classic magical girls.

RB: This is what they're pitting the literal God of Destruction against!? Not impressed…
NS: But unlike Beerus, they defend the cosmos rather than destroy it, so they must have something up their sleeves.
Arya: (Fascinated) Oooooooh...

Popup: Not all Sailor Guardians are women, Tuxedo Mask is the Sailor Guardian of Earth.
Wiz: The Sailor Guardians are warriors entrusted with magnificent powers, it's a Sailor Guardian's job to protect their world from alien threats, you may know one of them, Sailor Moon, real name: Usagi Tsukino...or Serena, or Bunny, depending on which dub you watched.

Arya/Sansa: (watching the Inner's transformations) Oh, that's so cool/pretty!
RB: How can they protect anything in those outfits!?
TL: Magic, probably.

Boomstick: So, are they like, space Popeyes who sell cookies?
Wiz: Uh, what?
Boomstick: Sailor. Scouts. Duh, Wiz.
Wiz: They're not sailors, they're Sailor Guardians, or Sailor Soldiers. The term "Sailor Scout" comes from the original English dub.

RB: Then why is "Sailor" part of their titles if they have nothing to do with sailing? I don't get it.

Boomstick: Oh yeah, the DIC dub! Look out kid, there's a giant DIC outside your window!
(DIC logo: DIC!)
Boomstick: (chuckles) You know what you are.

RB/TL: (chuckles right along side Boomstick)
Arya/Sansa: (Rolls eyes) Boys.

Wiz: Anyway, everything in the universe possesses a form of crystallized life force called a Star Seed. Each Guardian is powered by a special Star Seed which embodies their own planet, a Sailor Crystal.

Sansa: Star Seeds and Sailor Crystals… then that means that they're all planets in human form?
Luwin: I doubt it's that simple, but that link they have to planets could serve them well.

Boomstick: These give them superhuman powers. They can fly, do magic, shapeshift, heal fast, and are basically immortal. Some of them are even trained by the most dangerous creatures in the world, cats.

Arya: They can fly!?
NS: Maybe that's where the "Sailor" in their names comes in, Your Grace? Sailing not through water, but the air.
TL: But Beerus can do that too, so it makes little difference. What I'm concerned with are them "healing fast" and being "basically immortal." That could spell trouble for our feline acquaintance

Wiz: After many adventures, Sailor Moon would eventually find herself face to face with her greatest foe, a cold-hearted empress of evil.

RB: Finally getting to this bitch.
NS: So she's a bad apple...
TL: I'm already finding this familiar.

Boomstick: She was just a nameless lady stuck on some random trashy planet, it was so bad there, she basically gave up on life, well, until she got her hands on the Sapphire Crystal.
Wiz: The Sapphire Crystal is exponentially powerful, providing unlimited potential that matched her own newly unlimited ego. With all this power amongst the garbage around her, one purpose came to mind: Destroy everything.

RB: So she literally isn't anything special without that crystal?
TL: This is sounding very familiar…

Boomstick: So, into the universe she went, in search of a new home fit for a goddess, the soldier of destruction, Sailor Galaxia.
Wiz: Be it the power or her own mind, Galaxia was cursed with unparalleled vanity, so cosmic in scale that she could not be satisfied until the whole universe bowed before her, or else.

Arya: Why isn't it telling us how much she weighs?
RB: I feel your pain, Imp. Those Likes and Dislikes make this sound familiar too.
Luwin: Your assessment seems to be correct, Your Grace. If she's discarded her true name in favor of her identity as Sailor Galaxia, then she truly is nothing without the Sapphire Crystal.
Sansa: What's a "Musical Fashionist"?

Boomstick: Just like my ex-wife, if she appeared on the horizon, you'd be totally screwed.
Wiz: Galaxia or your ex-wife?
Boomstick: Yes. Galaxia can make explosions big enough to blot out galaxies, and even match the maxed out Eternal Sailor Moon in a fight, who destroyed a whole mirror universe!
Popup: Eternal Sailor Moon defeated Queen Nehelliena, who's presence maintained a universe within the mirror. A weaker form of Sailor Moon also countered her control over it outright.

NS: So Galaxia can destroy the universe as well.
RB: Which means she's comparable to Beerus and the Hakai can't work on her. Great.

Wiz: With a simple gesture, Galaxia can wipe anything out of existence, planets, people, other Guardians, you name it.
Boomstick: Plus, she's got all sorts of other magic powers, teleporting, summoning lightning, mind controlling people by taking their Star Seeds, oh yeah, she can totally do that.
Popup: In the anime, Galaxia forcibly removes Star Seeds herself. This is not totally congruent within the manga, but still similar. To take a star seed, she evokes Destruction on a victim to eliminate them and restores them as her servants.

Arya: Why do all the bad guys have to be so strong?
RB: She can erase anything she wants! Why would Galaxia even need anything else?
TL: How did this Sailor Moon even defeat this woman?

(we cut to Wiz and Boomstick, Boomstick sips a beer)
Wiz: And like any good anime villain, her attacks have some absolutely ridiculous names, (shows on the screen) like the Galactica Super String.
Boomstick: Which doesn't actually use any string.

Sansa: Why name it that way then?
TL: I doubt ordinary string is a useful weapon in any case...
Luwin: well, as you've said, my Lord, it's magic. the power she wields ought to not be so simple...

Wiz: Galactica Crunch.
Boomstick: I think I had a bowl of that this morning.

Arya: I wonder what she's crunching...

Wiz: And Galactica Inflation.
(A pixelated video is shown on screen, Boomstick coughs and spits out his beer)
Boomstick: What the hell?
(Wiz covers the screen)
Wiz: Ah! How did that get there? It's not what you think, research, you come across a lot of stuff in research!
Boomstick: Wiz, I'm glad to know exactly what kinda guy I'm workin' with.

Everyone: (exchanges a look...)
RB: Not even gonna ask.

Wiz: Ahem, uh, so Galaxia carved through the universe at an incredible pace, building her own widespread empire.
Boomstick: She was so friggin' terrifying, that some people would murder their own Sailor Scout as a sacrificial offering just to save themselves. Man, magical girls are metal as hell.

TL: By the Seven, not even Father inspires that kind of response.
NS: Not for lack of trying...

Popup: According to Princess Kakyuu's testimony of Galaxia traveling across the galaxy, Galaxia's flight speed is likely trillions of times faster than light.
Wiz: But Galaxia's destructive path wasn't as reckless as it may seem. Through her travels, she learned of a looming threat to the universe, a primordial entity and source of all evil. And so, she vowed to destroy Chaos.
Boomstick: Yeah, that happens if you watch too much Marie Kondo.

NS: She may be one of the few who can, unfortunately.

Wiz: But to maintain balance, she also sought to destroy the opposite of Chaos, the embodiment of love and goodness, which is apparently Sailor Moon.

Luwin: So she also had concerns about the balance of the cosmos?
TL: Only as an afterthought, apparently.
NS: yes, a paltry gesture compared to her crimes.

Boomstick: This is where different stories get a bit... wonky.
Wiz: Right, in the anime, Galaxia was a heroic warrior, who absorbed Chaos to keep it under control, but Chaos flipped the script and took her body instead. However, this did not happen in the original manga.
Popup: The Chaos Galaxia form is unique to the anime. Given it is non-canon and that it is Chaos in control, not Galaxia, the form does not belong in this battle.

Sansa: A divergent ending? How strange…
Arya: And stupid. I'm glad this isn't true!

Boomstick: Galaxia's warpath lead her to Earth, and she annihilated all the favorite Sailor Scouts. Every. Single. One. Except Sailor Moon, they had to have their epic battle.
Wiz: And Moon is a powerhouse, she once lit up the entire universe with a single attack. This light reached the edge of the universe in four seconds, putting it at 360 quadrillion times lightspeed.

TL: Ah, I guess that's how Galaxia was beaten.
Luwin: I think that was a greater number than Beerus' explosion.

Boomstick: Galaxia was tough enough to survive the grip of Chaos itself, and with her crystal, she never has to worry about running out of energy in a fight, this chick's basically unkillable.

RB: (Sarcastic) Oh great! So she can fight forever too! This just gets better and better.
NS: And she can withstand the personal attention of what is basically the Great Other as well...

Popup: On multiple occasions, the Silver Crystal is said to possess "infinite power". As the Sapphire Crystal is its antithesis, it's energy supply should be similar.
Wiz: Well, the intense forces of Chaos almost ended her life, until she was saved by Sailor Moon.

RB: What!? Why would she do that!? They're enemies!
NS: Perhaps leaving Galaxia to die like that was a fate even a monster like her didn't deserve?

Boomstick: And guess what? Apparently, this caused Galaxia to question her resolve, and see Meatball Head here in a new light, like, "Hey, maybe this lovey dovey goodness stuff ain't so bad", and then BAM! Her crystal exploded from positivity overload, and she died.

RB: Really? That's it? All that power and it's some warm feelings that do her in?!
TL: That's certainly not the climactic battle I was picturing before.

Wiz: Neither Galaxia nor the Sapphire Crystal had ever known this feeling. Ironically, or perhaps, befittingly, the weakness of destruction itself was love.

Sansa: (sniffling) That's so poetic! She really did have a-

Boomstick: Wiz, she was literally killed by kindness, who wrote this?

Sansa: (Exasperated and annoyed sigh)
RB: (Somber) It is rather beautiful, actually.
NS: (also somber) Indeed, if only love could always prevail.
TL: (also somber) ...

Wiz: Nuance, Boomstick. Regardless, the power Galaxia wields is astonishing, beneath the heel of her boot, any planet, galaxy, or universe is utterly doomed.
Galaxia: For this fight belongs to Sailor Galaxia! The most powerful guardian in the galaxy!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part 3 coming out at some point!

Honourable596 · Aug 23, 2020

How the hell did I miss that someone else was doing a Death Battle Reaction?

thefoolswriter · Aug 25, 2020

i remember robs reaction to the tomb kings wonder if he wants round 2

Zone-Meister · Aug 25, 2020

Son_of_DANCAS said:
Robert: Well, they could do with more plate. But otherwise; not too shabby!

Robb: Wait this can't be right... even their levies and militia wear mail!

Jon: Perhaps it's just the officers?

Tyrion: Or maybe they are so rich that they can afford it.

Joffery: Don't be a fool imp! No one is that rich!

Luwin: *book appears on lap* Your Grace! My Lords! This books claims to contain trivial but useful information!

Robert: Well, what does it say?

Luwin: While the danish levy system will be explained more in a different chapter. It seems that the danish main levy - the "Leding" - requires each "Skipæn" to equip their levies with a minimum number of mail shirts. Furthermore, the specifics of the "Leding" system, as well as the wealth the towns gain from trade, encourage a larger amount of mail armour, than usual for other levies.

Jaime: By the gods... Levies in mail...

Heh, the Westerosi ain't seen nothing yet. Seriously their recruitment is horrifically shoddy, just like their government, at least some of the Free Cities, have well trained and professional soldiers equal to our own.

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 26, 2020

Zone-Meister said:
Heh, the Westerosi ain't seen nothing yet. Seriously their recruitment is horrifically shoddy, just like their government, at least some of the Free Cities, have well trained and professional soldiers equal to our own.

Indeed, their shock, at the full details of the Leding/Leiðang and its capabilities (30.000 men from an area half the size of the Crownlands), is only going to be surpassed by the fact that the danish kings (rightly) considered it inefficient.

Zone-Meister · Aug 26, 2020

Son_of_DANCAS said:
Indeed, their shock, at the full details of the Leding/Leiðang and its capabilities (30.000 men from an area half the size of the Crownlands), is only going to be surpassed by the fact that the danish kings (rightly) considered it inefficient.

I can't wait for that reaction. GRRM never cared about stuff like how mustering and recruiting actually works and how Lords in real life knew the value of well trained and professional soldiers...it's a damn shame really. I have said it once and i have said it again. While ASOAIF may have the best character interactions and developments in any book series of ita genre in recent times...it lags behind in everything else.

Wily Machine King · Aug 26, 2020

Zone-Meister said:
I can't wait for that reaction. GRRM never cared about stuff like how mustering and recruiting actually works and how Lords in real life knew the value of well trained and professional soldiers...it's a damn shame really. I have said it once and i have said it again. While ASOAIF may have the best character interactions and developments in any book series of ita genre in recent times...it lags behind in everything else.

You got a point.

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 26, 2020

Another thing is how he has propegated the "Mercenaries are dishonorable" stereotype. In real life mercenaries were prefered to levies for several reasons; They are always professional, they are better equipped, they only raided when they weren't paid, and they were actually less likely to switch sides or break (surprise, who will hire a man who has broken a contract before?).

Denmark (in real life) actually possessed a professional army of knights, men at arms and mercenaries by the 15th century. As the Leding (itself a very potent levy-system) was replaced by an additional tax in the 14th, which was used to pay professionals.

Imagine the Westerosi "Sellswords are Bad" lords reacting to that bombshell!

Zone-Meister · Aug 26, 2020

Son_of_DANCAS said:
Another thing is how he has propegated the "Mercenaries are dishonorable" stereotype. In real life mercenaries were prefered to levies for several reasons; They are always professional, they are better equipped, they only raided when they weren't paid, and they were actually less likely to switch sides or break (surprise, who will hire a man who has broken a contract before?).

Denmark (in real life) actually possessed a professional army of knights, men at arms and mercenaries by the 15th century. As the Leding (itself a very potent levy-system) was replaced by an additional tax in the 14th, which was used to pay professionals.

Imagine the Westerosi "Sellswords are Bad" lords reacting to that bombshell!

Indeed. But then again, when the author is more invested in reading pop culture history and then claiming it as "real history".

Honestly that whole "sellswords bad" myth that ASOIAF propagated is one of the most face palm inducing things any semi-professional historian could read. Like them or not, mercenaries were reliable professionals that often bolstered a Lord's army.

sammyboy47 · Aug 26, 2020

Man, I wonder how would they react to Rome. IIRC, they we're able to field literally hundred of thousands of PROFESSIONAL INFANTRY along with additional auxillaries since Marian reforms and before Diocletian(IIRC) reforms.

EDIT: Also, didn't Mathis Corvinus employed mercenaries as the core of his army?

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 26, 2020

Robert Reacts to: An Age of Prosperity, The Kingdom of Denmark. 4

Saxon Duchies Revolting III

The first order of Valdemar II after the defeat of the Saxon rebellion was to delegate the rebel fiefs to more loyal men , his grandson Nils Nielsen, received the entirety of the county of Schwerin, however it still answers to the Duke of Mecklenburg. The lands of Rostock were wrested from the Duchy of Mecklenburg, and given over to the Principality of Rügen, as a reward to Prince Vitslav I, for his support of the war. In response to the loss of Rostock and associated lands, in exchange the Duchy of Mecklenburg received the County of Ratzeburg. Hamburg gets its right as a free city acknowledge, likewise Lübeck are given the same rights as Hamburg. Both get the rights of Kronstæder, a step above the købstader which answer to the local Lord, a Kronstad answers directly to the king.

Eddard: And loyalty is rewarded, while broken ties are mended. I know someone who could learn from that...

Tyrion: No argument here!

Jaime:

Cersei and Joffery: :rage:

Robert: Hear, Hear Ned!

Eddard: I wasn't just talking about Tywin...

Tyrion: Also, this "Kronstad" idea sounds interesting...

Luwin: I will look into it My Lord.

The vacant fiefs are given to Valdemars young sons, the half-brothers of Valdemar, the elected Prince of Denmark. As such, Erik the eldest is made Duke of Mecklenburg, with Prince Vitslav I as regent until he is of age. Abel, is given the Danish duchy of Slesvig as his fief, here Peder Strangesen of Kalundborg will act as regent. Valdemar II's youngest son is given the County of Holstein and the land of Dithmarschen. Which is to be a part of the new Duchy of Holstein. Christoffer's regent will be his mother Berengaria of Portugal Furthermore, Adolph IV now a prisoner in Vordingborg, agrees to a marriage between Christoffer and his own young daughter Matilda, when both are of age.

Tyrion: Clever, uniting the rebel leaders bloodline with their new ruler, who is his own son.

Robert: Almost like my own ancestor Orys, ha!

Catelyn(is still here): He should be giving those seats to loyal lords, not his bastards.

Jon:

Barristan: My Lady, bastardry does not affect a persons loyalty.

Cersei: Oh, how can you, of all people, say that?

Barristan: I feel my 'experience' with the matter should lent me some credibility, your Grace.

1224 would be a year of peace compared to the previous year. Valdemar II carried out further reforms, for instance the offering of land to Saxon farmers is to a degree curtailed, and instead Danish peasants will be offered land instead, while it does not stop the immigration of Saxon settlers it does turn it down to a trickle compared to the amount of Danes that will arrive in Rügen, Pomerania and Estonia. While Holstein is Saxon, and it is too late to stop, Mecklenburg from turning into a Saxon populated duchy. It is, however an effective counter in the lands of Rügen and Pomerania. Furthermore Valdemar II sends a letter to Pope Honorius III, to get the areas under the Archbishopric of Bremen, transferred to either Lund or Cammin, to avoid having members of the clergy be supporters of a direct rival of the kingdom. Also in the letter to the pope, there is a confirmation of an earlier promise to go on another crusade, however, due to the potential for warfare and unrest in the Danish Kingdom, Valdemar II request that it will be something closer to home. There are after all still pagans on the Baltic coast.

Tyrion: An impressive amount of foresight is shown here.

Jon: Wait, Crusade? Please tell me this won't be a northern version of that "First Crusade"!

Robb: It better not be a repeat of that fuck up!

Eddard and Catelyn: Robb!

Robert: Leave him be, the boys are right. This better be a proper war, not that butchery.

Jaime: (Hypocrite...)

————

I apologize that the Leding details are still a few chapters away

However, I plan on doing at least one chapter a day for the rest of the week, as I currently have nothing better to do

Zone-Meister · Aug 26, 2020

sammyboy47 said:
Man, I wonder how would they react to Rome. IIRC, they we're able to field literally hundred of thousands of PROFESSIONAL INFANTRY along with additional auxillaries since Marian reforms and before Diocletian(IIRC) reforms.

EDIT: Also, didn't Mathis Corvinus employed mercenaries as the core of his army?

Or even better, China. The army of the Han Dynasty was among the greatest and most developed in the world. What the Legions are to the West, the Chinese Army was to the east, in terms of scale, size, organization and efficiency.

And yes, Corvinus did use a mercenary army, a standing mercenary army to be precise. It worked superbly when Matthias lived, but when he died and the nobility curtailed taxation, the army couldn't be paid and thus mutinied regularly. On one hand, the Black Army is a lesson on just how badly things can go if a nation relies too heavily on mercenaries, as Machiavelli warned. On the other, it demonstrated just how powerful and efficient a professional standing army is compared to levies.

The Danes had the right idea when they augmented their standing force of knights and men-at-arms with mercenaries, a proper balanced force.

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 26, 2020

Zone-Meister said:
Or even better, China. The army of the Han Dynasty was among the greatest and most developed in the world. What the Legions are to the West, the Chinese Army was to the east, in terms of scale, size, organization and efficiency.

While the Roman Legions and Chinese army would no doubt impress them, I don't think it will truly blow their minds. Most of them should know of the old Ghiscari Legions (even if only as another group of badasses the Valyrians made their bitch).
The fact that we are talking about two civilizations radically different to Westeros will not escape their minds, I think they will be impressed, but conclude that it is only possible in Roman or Chinese society.

However the idea that Medieval Europe, which is extremely similar to Westeros, could have an effective professional, standing army...
Something like the Black Army, the late medieval Danish Army, or even the early Landsknechte of Maximillian would shock them to the core. Because it uproots the whole feudal-military system they take for granted

Fisher Nomad · Aug 26, 2020

Huh, I wonder how the feudal society of Westeros would react to the idea of an Absolute Monarchy or the idea of a people's republic, perhaps even The Republic, and especially the idea of the nobles that willingly disregarded their nobility, fighting for the people for the people, without riding its coattails as a power-grab.

What I meant.

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 26, 2020

Two words: Existential Dread.

Seriously, the only person who wouldn't disaprove of absolutism is Joffery. Even Robert, the actual king, would be horrified (at all the extra work he would have to do).

As for a republic? Well among the cast, I could imagine Jon Snow and Luwin - possibly Tyrion - being convinced of the benefits. Only to immediatly backtrack once they learn of the consequenses for the nobility, even the 'innocent' ones.

edit: Arya might also be onboard with a republic, at first.

bissek · Aug 26, 2020

Zone-Meister said:
Indeed. But then again, when the author is more invested in reading pop culture history and then claiming it as "real history".

Honestly that whole "sellswords bad" myth that ASOIAF propagated is one of the most face palm inducing things any semi-professional historian could read. Like them or not, mercenaries were reliable professionals that often bolstered a Lord's army.

And a major part of the reason why a lot of nobles favored mercenaries over soldiers was that, as out of towners, they have no ties to any of the locals and thus are unlikely to get tied up in politics.

Though one thing to note about "sellswords bad" is that it can vary depending on if you mean a single sellsword or a company. A company has leaders to keep the unruly men under control, and because its a large group, its reputation spreads. An individual has less such constraints.

Another thing GRRM got wrong was painting lords as sentimental fools for letting smallfolk shelter in their castles during a siege, using up food that could have been saved for the soldiers. The reason castles were built large was so that they would have room to shelter the local peasantry in times of war. While a noble might not care about any of their peasants as individuals, he does need to care about them in the aggregate, because if he lets them all die, there will be nobody to bring in the harvest, and he'll have to grub in the dirt for food himself if he wants to eat.

Son_of_DANCAS · Aug 26, 2020

Since we're pointing out GRRM's mistakes regarding medieval society:
How do you think they will react to the fact that r*pe was actually extremely rare in medieval times? In so far as there is no ecidence of it being widespread, even during wartimes.
For crying out loud, the vikings (the people most often accused of mass r*pe, and the people the Ironborn are a poor imitation of) punished it with death. Seriously if you killed a man, you could get away with a fine, if you r*ped someone; you die (at least in the lands that would become Denmark).

The thing is, in societies based around the ideal of honor; honor is actually really damn important! The fact that they accept r*pe to be an unavoidable part of life, would disgust a medieval man, noble or commoner.

Fisher Nomad · Aug 26, 2020

Son_of_DANCAS said:
Two words: Existential Dread.

Seriously, the only person who wouldn't disaprove of absolutism is Joffery. Even Robert, the actual king, would be horrified (at all the extra work he would have to do).

As for a republic? Well among the cast, I could imagine Jon Snow and Luwin - possibly Tyrion - being convinced of the benefits. Only to immediatly backtrack once they learn of the consequenses for the nobility, even the 'innocent' ones.

edit: Arya might also be onboard with a republic, at first.

What about the prospect of nobles fighting for the nation and the people instead of for the state? While I'm not quite sure if nationalism is exactly a thing (or rather, that important a factor) in day to day life even for the nobles of the Middle Age/Westeros, there is quite some... should I say 'bad blood' between the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, within and without. Do you think it would be enough for them to disregard the state for the nation (yet)?

Otherwises, any reaction to the Rose of Versailles series, with the Lady Oscar's journey from being a hero to her Kingdom and friend of Queen Antoinette to being a 'traitor' to the crown as she led her men to defend the 'rebels' of Paris, ought to be pretty... fun.

Tbh tho the Westerosi would also be pretty horrified by the inanely wastefulness of the Versailles court - What with a necklace costing more than 2 fully-armed and crewed Frigates. (Even through that one is not Maria's fault, but Louis XV did order it for his mistress.)

Robert Reacts (ASOIAF/Everything Open Sandbox)

What do you want Robert to react to next?

Overwatch Animated shorts

Stars Wars

Asura's Wrath

Dark Souls

RWBY

God of War

Highlander

Conan the Barbarian

Dexter

Diablo

Braveheart

Iron Man

Wolfenstein

40k

Warcraft

Ghost Rider

This must be the start of my Popular Phase

Don't step on me i am a harmless fool

Sometimes.....derp is good...

Sometimes.....derp is good...

Taken By The Operator

Sometimes.....derp is good...

Cyborg Bear Powered Armored Dragoon

Sometimes.....derp is good...

Japari Exclusion Zone.

Japari Exclusion Zone.