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My conversations are pretty standard--what are our interests, why are we on tinder, how are our days going. It doesn't need to be anything flashy, I just like when I can get to know a guy a little, and establish basic trust that he's a decent person. Making an effort to use complete sentences and participate in the conversation are both appreciated.
I look for guys who are respectful, a good level of flirty (I know he's interested, but not coming on too strong), and interested in my pleasure.
For example, if the first sexual act a guy brings up is me on my knees sucking him off, that's going to come across as selfish, and going to be a turnoff.
Patience is also good: I can rarely meet up right away, but if a guy is chill about it, he and I might have a great time in a couple of weeks.
Alright sorry in advance for how long this is.
I just wanted hookups, so I made my bio simply ‘I may be chubby, but I suck a mean chub’. I got lots of matches, and almost all of them just went right in with their opening messages being about me sucking dick. I RARELY talked to these guys. Even though I was just interested in hooking up, I need to still be comfortable enough with you to let you come over and fuck me. It’s not like it would take me that long, but I need to have a few messages where you prove to me you’re not an asshole/murderer/awkward dude that I feel like the hookup could be fun. Guys who did that (we just talked about what we did/our interests/told some jokes, standard stuff) I’d usually invite them over a day or two after we started talking.
Eventually I got tired of all the messages about sucking dick so I changed my bio to a poem/rap about myself. I was still interested in hookups, so I made one of the lines ‘I suck a mean dick’. I figured since there were 7 other lines, there was lots of other stuff for the guys to message me about, while still knowing I was down for hooking up. Openers and conversations were a little better, but there were still a lot of just ‘so you suck a mean dick eh?’ openers. I was much more interested in the guys who could invest a few minutes out of their day to send me a couple of messages, make me laugh, and THEN transition into talking about hooking up. Having the line about sucking dick made it easy to do that transition, which is why I liked having it in my profile.
Here’s the thing though, I hooked up with my fair share of guys, and let me tell you, THEY WERE ALL SELFISH IN BED. Every single one of them. Not a single guy I hooked up with that I met in real life has ever been selfish like that. So I concluded it was because of my bio (maybe it would be different if I talked about wanting to fuck, instead of sucking dick).
I changed my bio to not include anything sexual. Conversations are so much better now because they don’t just turn to questions about me blowing them after 3 messages. Guys tell me about themselves, ask me questions, make me laugh. It doesn’t haven’t to be anything big or hard to come up with, just take a genuine interest in the girl, ask her questions, and try to be funny here or there. It doesn’t have to be these elaborate set ups or name puns or all the things you typically see on Reddit. Just be yourself. Clearly I think you’re cute if I matched with you, and now I’m trying to see your personality/sense of humour. That’s what I’m trying to gauge by the conversation. And then after a few days of messaging, depending on the vibe from the guy, I’ll make a flirty joke or teasing remark to transition the conversation into me asking them to come over to hook up.
And for the love of god, if you get in and want to hook up with this girl again, DON’T BE SELFISH. Go down on her. Make an effort to make her finish even if you’ve already finished. Even if you don’t wanna hook up with her again, be a good dude and at least try instead of making it all about yourself. I have turned down so many guys for a second hook up because they were so incredibly selfish the first time around.
My experience in the 5 years I spent on/off dating sites was very similar to this. I wasn't blatantly looking for hookups but I knew i wasn't trying to find a husband. Women need to have a fracking interesting conversation before they feel comfortable/aroused by someone. The key is that intellect is sexy. And i'm obviously not going to go to bone-town with a derpy mcgillicutty that gives me the kind of small talk I can get from a stranger at a funeral.
Hi, Can you describe yourself and your age? And , how many guys you think that you have hooked with? Thanks, this is only curiosity
Also, if any other girl or boy wants to respond my previous comment can do it
RemindMe! 2 days
It's basic shit from high school honestly. You're chatting up the school slut but that doesn't mean she's gonna act like a free ride.
You come off thirsty, you get dumped.
You come off rude, dumped.
You come straight out of the gate with sex, dumped.
You hear something sexual and go over board or can't pick a different topic, dumped.
Be funny, be interesting, be smart, pick something and be patient. It'll work out eventually if you don't try to make it happen. Bc you can't, only she can. Chill and don't be an ass.
But honestly, the biggest problem with hook ups isn't getting them, it's getting a hook up that's worth repeating. There are no clever camera angles and some chicks literally expect you to make them come and you too. Masturbating is faster, cheaper and less trouble sometimes.
Helped
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