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5 Things You Should Never Put On A Charcuterie Tray (Number 4 Is Rocks!), Tabs, Tues. May 14, 2024
Recipe tips.
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Evan Hurst
56
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THE SPLIT: Chapter One
In which we meet our heroine and her dainty little gun.
All the rest of THE SPLIT!
All of them Katie
Recommendations
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Hopium Chronicles By Simon Rosenberg
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Senate's Dumbest Coach Didn't Have NO FUN At Trump's Big Time Peener Trial In New York City
Worst class trip ever.
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Evan Hurst
3,060
Brett Kavanaugh And Clarence Thomas And Sam Alito Upset Again
Poor babies.
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Gary Legum
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Bill Maher: Man Of The People, Or Something
A very different Sunday show rundown!
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Michael Mora
379
LIVE: Your Monday White House Press Briefing, Come Learn Things
Today on WonkTV!
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Evan Hurst
43
Louisiana Doing More Anti-Abortion Drama Queen Nonsense
Now they want to make abortion pills a 'controlled substance.'
 • 
Robyn Pennacchia
245
The latest from
Evan Hurst
5 Things You Should Never Put On A Charcuterie Tray (Number 4 Is Rocks!), Tabs, Tues. May 14, 2024
Gary Legum
Brett Kavanaugh And Clarence Thomas And Sam Alito Upset Again
Michael Mora
Bill Maher: Man Of The People, Or Something
Robyn Pennacchia
Louisiana Doing More Anti-Abortion Drama Queen Nonsense
Crip Dyke
Marvelous Minnesota Maybe Making Magnificent Equal Rights Amendment!
Rebecca Schoenkopf
These Are The 17 Trump Tax Tricks The IRS Doesn't Want You To Do! (They Are Illegal.) Tabs, Mon., May 13, 2024
Doktor Zoom
Trump Reminds Oil Billionaires, Voters, What Electing Him Will Do To The Planet
ziggywiggy
Wonkette Movie Night: The Triplets Of Belleville
Marcie Jones
Trump Trial Day 15: Hey, Y'All Hear About This Fat $$$ They Paid Jailbird CFO Not To Testify?
Matthew Hooper
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Foaming Pineapple!
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Featured

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Toronto! The One In Canada! Wonkette Is Coming At You! Soon!
Shhh. It's a secret.
 • 
Rebecca Schoenkopf
3,276
Evil Disney Queen Attacked By Actual Evil!
Read our thrilling Wonk-vestigation!
 • 
Crip Dyke
536
Yeah You Know What, Send Us Money
Too long since I subjected you to a proper MONEY YELLING.
 • 
Rebecca Schoenkopf
3,186
Damn Right Food Waste Is A Climate Problem, Too
We hope this won't inspire Republicans to make a show of buying food to deliberately waste.
 • 
Doktor Zoom
219
Wonkette
Wonkette
Wonkette is filthy, hilarious, liberal news. YOU CAN HANDLE THE TRUTH!
Guy On Boardwalk In Jersey Babbling About Hannibal Lecter Says He's Running For President
Does Donald Trump think the nation has been invaded by cannibals?
 • 
Gary Legum
534
Marvelous Minnesota Maybe Making Magnificent Equal Rights Amendment!
And making flags and mottos and history also, too!
 • 
Crip Dyke
210
Kristi Noem Embarrassment Week Will Be Over When Kristi Noem Stops Embarrassing Herself
No time soon, we reckon.
 • 
Evan Hurst
427
Wonkette Presents THE SPLIT: Chapter Twenty-Eight
In which Lorinda and Stimpy enter Revelation.
 • 
Steve Radlauer
 and 
Ellis Weiner
10
Top posts
Nikki Haley Is President Of Calling Vivek Ramaswamy A Little Bitch, BUT ONLY THAT
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860
Tim Scott Quoted Fannie Lou Hamer At A Trump Rally And Now I Want To Punch My Fist Through A Wall
 • Stephen Robinson
543
Jordan Peterson Mad About Crosswalks Now, As One Is
 • Andrew Fleming
4,308
Why Does Pot Make You Hungry? Ask Science! Tabs, Thurs., April 25, 2024
 • Rebecca Schoenkopf
738
The 7 Deadliest Palm Beach Socialites With Murder In Their Hearts! Tabs, Wed., May 8, 2024
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We Never Send Out This Newsletter

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Not New! Unimproved! The Wonkette Bazaar!
Hunt down your 2024 gear, bring it back to your cave.
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Rebecca Schoenkopf
STICK IT ... TO ME?
That's terrible, Rebecca.
 • 
Rebecca Schoenkopf
2
MUGS/SHOTS!
ISWIDT.
 • 
Rebecca Schoenkopf
TATTOO YOU!
Look at that doll.
 • 
Rebecca Schoenkopf
4
These Are The 17 Trump Tax Tricks The IRS Doesn't Want You To Do! (They Are Illegal.) Tabs, Mon., May 13, 2024
Morning news roundup!
 • 
Rebecca Schoenkopf
835
Trump Reminds Oil Billionaires, Voters, What Electing Him Will Do To The Planet
Yes, there are differences between the candidates.
 • 
Doktor Zoom
3,170
Wonkette Movie Night: The Triplets Of Belleville
'I'd love to be twisted. Utterly twisted. Twisted like a Triplet from Belleville (Come on Girls!)'
 • 
ziggywiggy
1,791
Public School Tried To Ban A Kid's Painting Because It Was Mean About Christians Being Mean
Why not tolerate their intolerance?
 • 
Robyn Pennacchia
1,271

Nice Time

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So Much Clean Energy News!
We gotta wear shades.
 • 
Doktor Zoom
184
With Biden Funding, IRS To Actually Audit More Rich F*ckwads Than Poor People!
An objective assessment of how this is an absolutely fucking necessary good first step.
 • 
Doktor Zoom
177
Joe Biden Gonna Turn It [Grid Expansion] On, Gonna Bring You The [Renewable] Power!
Permitting reform and new transition lines, coming on the line, strong as they can be!
 • 
Doktor Zoom
157
Biden DOJ To Reschedule Marijuana, Stoners All Ask 'For When, Man?'
4:25, man.
 • 
Doktor Zoom
260
Goodbye Cruel World: Tea Party 'FreedomWorks' Group Is Dead As Doornail
Millennials probably killed that too.
 • 
Gary Legum
633
Trump Trial Day 15: Hey, Y'All Hear About This Fat $$$ They Paid Jailbird CFO Not To Testify?
It’s going to be Michael Cohen Monday!
 • 
Marcie Jones
504
No One Knows Why Today Is Twilight Zone Day
That seems appropriate, actually.
 • 
Robyn Pennacchia
478

Recipe Hub

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Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Foaming Pineapple!
Tiki for Mother's Day? Yep. Hooper's bartending for brunch.
 • 
Matthew Hooper
3,174
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The PK Mai Tai! (With Bonus Painkiller Chaser!)
You need a drink. I need a drink. Here are two drinks. They're awesome. One is on fire. Thank me later.
 • 
Matthew Hooper
3,282
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The White Linen!
A gin cocktail with all the toppings.
 • 
Matthew Hooper
3,214
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, The Blackberry Old Fashioned!
An old fashioned Old Fashioned, done a little fruity.
 • 
Matthew Hooper
4,119
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Absinthe Frappe!
Time for a quick visit to the Green Fairy.
 • 
Matthew Hooper
2,804
Those Cakes We Like … Are Feeling Very British
Cup of tea and a crumpet, what?
 • 
CakesWeLike
525
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour! This Week, We're Doing Tequila Shots!
Simplicity at last. Kinda.
 • 
Matthew Hooper
3,288
Welcome To Wonkette Happy Hour, With This Week's Cocktail, Doctor Funk!
Get down and funky with this tiki classic.
 • 
Matthew Hooper
2,954

New Years Eve

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Your 2023 Legislative Badass Is ... Not A Legislator, It's Joe Biden!
Congress barely legislated, but when it did, Joe won.
 • 
Doktor Zoom
5,467
Wonkette’s 2023 Legislative Shitheel Is/Was His Teenage Son’s No-Porning Accountabili-buddy, Isn’t That Sick?
Fuuuucking creep.
 • 
Evan Hurst
262
Wonkette's 2023 Sexiest Person Alive Is ... The UAW's Shawn Fain!
Yeah he is.
 • 
Robyn Pennacchia
388
2023 In Memoriam: Good People Who Are Dead
Celebrating just a few humans who passed away in 2023, but ONLY THE GOOD ONES.
 • 
Sara Benincasa
272
2023 Was Earth's Hottest Year Ever, AND The Climate Outlook Is Finally Improving
Our money is very much on Hope.
 • 
Doktor Zoom
222
2023 In The World's Last Website!
It's US! Wonkette!
 • 
Rebecca Schoenkopf
461
2023: James Comer’s Year Of Looking For Hunter Biden’s Penis But Never Finding It
No, this isn't Legislative Shitheel.
 • 
Evan Hurst
341
2023, The Year George Santos Truly Became President
He's still less pathetic than Kevin McCarthy.
 • 
Stephen Robinson
248
2023: The Year Tommy Tuberville Fucked The Military And Saved Zero (0) Unborned Babies, What A Dumbass
This is not legislative shitheel.
 • 
Evan Hurst
388
2023, When Kevin McCarthy Was House Speaker For A Few Months
Farewell, Kevin, you won’t be missed.
 • 
Stephen Robinson
200
2023, The Year Congress Did Jack Shit
Pitiful, just pitiful.
 • 
Stephen Robinson
177
2023's Scammiest Psychic Swindlers
Don't give your money to people who claim to have magic powers!
 • 
Robyn Pennacchia
260
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