The Secret Life of Pets is the 177th episode of Screen Junkies comedy series Honest Trailers. It was written by Spencer Gilbert, Joe Starr and Andy Signore. It parodies the 2016 computer-animated comedy film The Secret Life of Pets. It was narrated by Jon Bailey as Epic Voice Guy. It was published on November 29, 2016, to coincide with the film's release on home video and Blu-ray. It is 3 minutes 55 seconds long. It has been viewed over 4.2 million times.
"Enjoy the exact same premise as Toy Story without all the toys, or heart, or humor, or story structure, in this disposable kids' flick that will make you hate Pixar for giving us all unrealistic expectations when we watch a movie made for six-year-olds." ~ Honest Trailers - The Secret Life of Pets
Script[edit | edit source]
From the people who brought you- (shows a Minion) AAH! Get off the screen! Ohhh! Why didn't you put a Minion warning in this thing? Geez! (Illumination Entertainment)...comes a film about what animals do when their owners leave the house: make mediocre kids' movies.
The Secret Life of Pets
Enjoy the exact same premise as Toy Story without all the toys, or heart, or humor, or story structure, in this disposable kids' flick that will make you hate Pixar for giving us all unrealistic expectations when we watch a movie made for six-year-olds. They're supposed to be dumb, remember?
Meet Katie, Max, Duke, Chloe, Sweetpea, Mel, Norman, Buddy, Tiberius, Snowball, Gidget, Ozone, Pops, and a dozen other characters who spread this thing so thin, you'll barely care about any of them, as a simple story about what pets do when they're alone takes a hard left into car chases, killer sewer animal cults, and psychedelic sausage factories. But, hey, it'll make you feel like a kid again because you'll have no idea what's happening or why.
Max: What's happening?!
Duke: I don't know!
Get ready to say "Hey, I recognize that voice" followed by "Hey, why would they do this?", as Louis C.K., Hannibal Buress, and Jenny Slate sacrifice their indie cred to make poop jokes with Kevin Hart. Watch the tiny comic shine as the equally tiny Snowball, a rabbit who spends ninety minutes yelling random Kevin Hart things (Snowball: Woo! Aw, y'all cold-blooded!) while setting the tone for this movie's most defining feature: violence (shows clips of characters committing violent acts), lots and lots of violence.
Gidget: Don't look at him! (slaps Ozone) Look at me! Nobody can help you!
Snowball: You chose your side, and now you gonna burn.
Oh my God, they're animals! Oh, right, they're animals.
Enjoy a movie about every kind of pet, with the balls to say that dogs are dumb and loyal while cats are total a-holes...
Chloe: I don't care about you or your problems.
Reginald: And I'm gonna have to ask you to get off my lawn.
Ozone: We're gonna cut you into string, ball you up, and then bat you around for hours!
...and birds are so pointless, most of them can't even speak (shows Sweetpea tweeting). Not that any of that's wrong; I just...didn't think we could say it out loud without pissing off the weird cat people.
So gather up the kids, then leave the room, for a Looney Tunes-style slapstick adventure that wastes its fun premise, wastes its New York City setting, and wastes ninety minutes of your time more-or-less inoffensively, in a film that falls somewhere between Pixar's B material and the movie that shall not be na- (shows Mel dressed as a Minion) Oh! AAH!!! Get it off! Go to "Starring"! GO TO "STARRING"!!!
Starring Louis C-K9 (Louis C.K. as Max), Modern Family Dog (Eric Stonestreet as Duke), Kevin Shart (Kevin Hart as Snowball), Unbarkable Kimmy Schmidt (Ellie Kemper as Katie), The Voice of the Sheep in Zootopia (Jenny Slate as Gidget), The Voice of Marli- Hey, You're Cheating on Pixar! (Albert Brooks as Tiberius), and Feline Diabetes (Lake Bell as Chloe).
(shows clips of Chloe's butt facing the camera) So, uhhh, did they really need to include all the, uhhh...how do I say this?...cat buttholes?
Trivia[edit | edit source]
- Screen Junkies have produced Honest Trailers for several other computer animated movies including Despicable Me 1 & 2, Minions, The Emoji Movie, The Boss Baby, Shrek, Toy Story, Inside Out, Finding Nemo, Finding Dory, The Incredibles, Cars & Cars 2, Frozen, Moana, Wreck-It Ralph, Big Hero 6, Zootopia, How To Train Your Dragon and many, many more. See list of Honest Trailers for more.
- An Honest Trailer Commentary for this episode was recorded and was available on the Screen Junkies Plus until the website/app was discontinued. Screen Junkies don't currently have any way of releasing the video.
Reception[edit | edit source]
Honest Trailers - The Secret Life of Pets has a 96.6% approval rating from YouTube viewers. CinemaBlend found the Honest trailer notable for calling the film a "dumb, budget version of Toy Story" and for pointing out that Pixar has given viewers unrealistically high expectations about children's animation. Slash Film agreed with this comment, writing Screen Junkies "nails it when they say movies like this almost make us hate Pixar Animation for setting the bar high for family friendly entertainment on the big screen." Uproxx said the Honest Trailer was characteristic of Screen Junkies, writing "reasonable criticism, playful ribbing and bouts of internet snarkiness help illustrate what The Secret Life of Pets brings to table." In the same article, Uproxx also wrote that "fans of The Secret Life of Pets can still enjoy a laugh while the movie gets sufficiently roasted."
Screen Rant wrote Screen Junkies highlight the film's "overly familiar story and the perceived waste of its eclectic voice cast." They also noted, the Honest Trailer "zeroes in on those flaws, but also makes it a point to fire more than a few zingers at the expense of Illumination's (bizarrely?) ubiquitous Minions franchise." Screen Rant also used this Honest Trailer to comment on the cultural significance of Honest Trailers, writing:
Honest Trailers has become a comedy institution on YouTube. Combining clever self-aware commentary on the disposable nature of movie advertising and effectively presenting mini-reviews of recent films in the format of a trailer-parody, it's become impossible to see trailers for noteworthy blockbusters and not think "What will the Honest Trailers people make of this?" (Bob Chipman, November 29, 2016, Screen Rant)
Production credits[edit | edit source]
Voiceover Narration by Jon Bailey
Title design by Robert Holtby
Executive Producer - Andy Signore
Edited by Bruce Guido and TJ Nordaker
[edit | edit source]
- The Secret Life Of Pets Got An Honest Trailer, And It’s Not Pretty - CinemaBlend article
- ‘The Secret Life Of Pets’ Undergoes The ‘Honest Trailers’ Treatment - Uproxx article
- The Secret Life of Pets Gets An Honest Trailer - Screen Rant article
- Watch the Honest Trailer for THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS - Geek Tyrant article
- ‘The Secret Life of Pets’ Honest Trailer: ‘Toy Story’ Without Toys, Heart, Humor or Story Structure - SlashFilm article
- The Secret Life of Pets Gets An Honest Trailer - ComicBook.com article