Premieres Wednesday:
42 Days of Darkness — The first Netflix series produced in Chile is based on the true story of Viviana Haeger, a woman who was considered missing for over a month before she was found murdered in her home. This version of the story adds a sister who crusades for justice to be done — I guess because, as new characters go, a reasonably attentive housekeeper would have everything wrapped up in three episodes. (Netflix)
The Challenge: All Stars — The 24 contestants in Season 3 have all proven their mettle by either qualifying for or winning a past Challenge Final. And if that doesn't sound impressive, a full seven of them are on the Peak Results plan at Crunch! (Paramount+)
The Getaway King — Based on the true story of a convict who escaped from the same prison 29 times, this Polish-made action comedy won the Audience Award at the 2021 Krakow Film Festival. Destined to be popular at the 2022 festival: instructional films about how to escape Poland. (Netflix)
Operation Mincemeat — The currently ubiquitous Colin Firth stars in a World War II drama about the British officers who were tasked with making sure Hitler didn't find out about the Allies' plan to invade Sicily. The story was previously covered in 1956's The Man Who Never Was. (Or, as we know him today, "Bruno"). (Netflix)
Our Father — Learn all about the sordid case of Donald Cline, an Indiana fertility doctor who secretly impregnated more than 50 of his patients with his own sperm. I can't believe they titled this documentary anything but Hoosier Daddy. (Netflix)
The Quest — Eight teenagers undertake a magical, mystical challenge in a revival of a reality competition that aired on ABC in 2014. This iteration, though, is said to lean more heavily on scripted narrative elements. And that's fair, because name one other thing in your life that's become more genuine in the last seven years. (I will accept "my diabetes" as an answer.) (Disney+)
Premieres Thursday:
Hacks — The acclaimed comedy returns for a second go-'round, with Deborah (Jean Smart) taking her new stand-up act on the road to make sure it's pitch-perfect. Fresh additions to the cast this season include Margaret Cho as ... I dunno, a cautionary tale? (HBO Max)
The Sadness — The hoped-for reunion of a young couple is thrown into doubt by a horrific pandemic that sweeps across Taiwan, making the infected act out their worst and most destructive influences. This just in: Elon Musk has bought the virus for $44 billion. (Shudder)
Savage Beauty — South Africa proves it can Shonda Rhimes with the best of 'em by bringing us this drama series about a woman who infiltrates an intrigue-ridden cosmetics empire. Well, duh! Why d'ya think they call it "concealer"? (Netflix)
Premieres Friday:
Bling Empire — Season 2 augments its cast of well-to-do East Asians and East Asian Americans with two high-profile additions: Rich Kids of Beverly Hills alum Dorothy Wang and philanthropist Mimi Morris. A fun fact about the Vietnamese-born Mimi is that she spent two years of her childhood living in a large hole in the ground. And that alone should make her the favorite of any viewers who grew up in Pasco County. (Netflix)
The Essex Serpent — Claire Danes and Tom Hiddleston star in a six-episode adaptation of Sarah Perry's novel, in which a Victorian-era widow teams up with a minister to look for an elusive sea monster. Only an Englishman of the late 19th century could fail to recognize the comedic potential of that description; I know Benny Hill would have had a field day with it. (Apple TV+)
The Kids in the Hall — We interrupt your regularly scheduled snark to bring you news absolutely no one in his right mind could make fun of. Yes, the Kids in the Hall are back — the entire original five — in an eight-episode revival that hurtles their generation-defining comedy straight into a grateful new age. Remember Mr. Tyzik the Headcrusher? He's now taking entire buildings hostage. It's a fact! (Amazon Prime)
The Lincoln Lawyer — Previously portrayed by Matthew McConaughey in the 2011 film of the same name, lawyer Mickey Haller gets a new series in which to conduct business from the back seat of his Town Car. This time, he's portrayed by Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, with Neve Campbell as his ex-wife. The series was originally developed for CBS, which ended up passing on it. Now the show's producers are suing for breach of contract. Although I think it was a little Method of them to draft their complaint in the trunk of a Suzuki Samurai. (Netflix)
New Heights — Dig into a Swiss drama series in which a high-powered business type has to take over his family's farm ... while hiding his homosexuality from the surrounding village. I swear on a stack of Bibles that "Manure Hole" is the title of Episode 6, and not the name of the bar where our hero goes to drown his sorrows. Hey, maybe it's both! (Netflix)
Senior Year — Rebel Wilson plays a former cheerleader who goes back to finish high school after spending 17 years in a coma. So it's a mashup of Hello Again, 13 Going on 30, Just Like Heaven and ... Coma? Nah, that Geneviève Bujold always seemed a little short on the sis-boom-bah. (Netflix)
Sneakerella — In a gender-reversed, "urban" take on Cinderella, a wannabe sneaker designer woos the daughter of a basketball-star-turned-footwear magnate. And just to remind us it has a second middle finger, Disney has even thrown in a Fairy Godfather. Great, now Orange County's gonna have to pay the upkeep on all those churro carts, too. (Disney+)
Soho Theatre Live Season 3 — A new series of stand-up performances showcases 10 of the brightest U.K. comics of this generation — including Felicity Ward, winner of the Best Comedy Show award at the 2018 Edinburgh Fringe. Could this be where the next Fleabag comes from? (Now that you can't find 'em at the Winn-Dixie on East Colonial, that is?) (Amazon Prime)
Premieres Sunday:
Conversations With Friends — The same team that adapted Irish author Sally Rooney's Normal People for the screen turns its collective hand to her previous novel, in which a pair of lesbian BFFs strike up a dangerous flirtation with an older straight couple. And to think it all started when the BBC saw Rooney writing in a bar, sauntered over and said, "Excuse me, but my partner Hulu and I really like your vibe and would like to buy you a drink." (Hulu)
Premieres Monday:
Vampire in the Garden — In the latest anime series from WIT Studios, creators of Attack on Titan, a young girl tries to bring peace to the Earth after it's been taken over by vampires. Can she convince their queen, who once loved humanity, that the two species can coexist in a state of mutual respect? Probably — if you're a damn centrist. (Netflix)
Premieres Tuesday:
Black Gold — Darren Aronofsky teams up with Time magazine to bring us the true story of a high-stakes cover-up that complicated the war on climate change. He sure has come a long way since he teamed up with High Times to bring us Requiem for a Dream. (Paramount+)
The Future Diary — Season 2 of the Japanese reality dating show once again hands its participants a basic story outline to follow, to see if romance will bloom. The twist this time is that there are three of them — a girl and two guys — ensuring a love triangle in which somebody's going to end up in the friend zone. I'm calling it now that the dudes hook up and leave the chick out in the cold, but my definition of a happy ending may be somewhat different from yours. (Netflix)
