Two friends laughing over cups of coffee — iStock

150 Coffee Quotes to Celebrate the Beloved Cuppa Joe That Gets Us Up Every AM

Wake up with some pep in your step thanks to these quotes and sayings about coffee.

Author:
Stephanie Osmanski
Updated:
Nov 28, 2023

Nothing hits quite as nicely as that first cup of coffee in the morning. Not water, not tea. If you agree, make your AM brew and raise that delicious cuppa joe in a cheers to today! We're rounding up the best coffee quotes to start your day off right (and don't forget coffee memes too!).

While we may not all agree on our Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts order, it doesn't matter if you're a cold brew kinda dude or a busy, on-the-go executive who won't settle for anything less than three espresso shots before 9 o'clock.

So get ready to have a brew-tiful day (and tons of energy) as coffee lovers all over sip on their drinks and start their days off strong with this list of funny coffee quotes and sayings.

150 Best Coffee Quotes

1. "No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness." Sheik Abd-al-Kabir

2. "If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no discernible personality at all." David Letterman

3. "How far behind would technology be, if no one ever discovered coffee?" Unknown

4. "Even bad coffee is better… than no coffee at all." David Lynch

5. "I want someone to look at me the way I look at coffee." Unknown

6. "I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." T.S. Eliot

7. "Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after." Anne Morrow Lindbergh

8. "Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister." Bob Irwin

9. "Adventure in life is good. Consistency in coffee even better." Justina Headley

10. "Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank." Alphonse Allais

Related: 15 Must-Try Low-Carb Iced Coffee Recipes

11. "There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee." Rian Aditia

12. "Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream." Unknown

13. "Deja Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before." Unknown

14. "I like instant gratification. It’s like instant Coffee, only it won’t keep you up all night." Jarod Kintz

15. "Caffeine and sugar—the two basic food groups." Laurell K. Hamilton

16. "Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee." Rory Bremner

Related: Top-Rated Home Coffee Makers

17. "Decaf? No, it’s dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream." Unknown

18. "The first cup is for the guest, the second for enjoyment, the third for the sword." Old Arabic Saying

19. "Life’s too short to drink cheap coffee." Unknown

20. "Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee." Unknown

21. "A cup of gourmet coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent." Unknown

22. "Did I run out of caffeine or are you really that boring?" Unknown

23. "As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?" Cassandra Clare

24. "I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee." Burt Lancaster

25. "I gave up coffee. It's almost worse than giving up a lover." Sandra Bullock

26. "Coffee in England is just toasted milk." Christopher Fry

27. "Decaf coffee only works if you throw it at people." Unknown

28. "Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep." Fran Drescher

29. "I’m going to start measuring the complexity of coding tasks in coffee cups. 'This was a five-espresso algorithm.'" Unknown

30. "It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity." Dave Barry

31. "Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs." Bill Gates

32. "Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven." Jessi Lane Adams

33. "The road to success is paved in coffee." Unknown

34. "What do you want?… Just Coffee. Black–like my soul." Cassandra Clare

35. "Seven days without coffee makes one WEAK." Unknown

36. "Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning." Unknown

37. "I have measured out my life with coffee spoon." T.S. Eliot

38. "If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee." Abraham Lincoln

39. "Caffeine—it maintains my sunny personality." Unknown

40. "Coffee first. Schemes later." Leanna Renee Hieber

41. "A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems." Paul Erdos

42. "May your coffee kick in before reality does." Unknown

43. "This coffee tastes like mud! Well, it was ground this morning." Unknown

44. "I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon." Ronald Reagan

45. "Humanity runs on coffee." Unknown

46. "I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge." Jennifer Lopez

47. "Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?" Jean Kerr

48. "Drinking beer in a coffee mug. I feel like I am cheating on my coffee." Unknown

49. "Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?" Steven Wright

50. "But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all." David Lynch

51. "Caffeine isn’t a drug; it’s a vitamin." Unknown

52. "Coffee connects us in so many ways–to each other, to our senses, and to the earth that supports the coffee trees." Rohan Marley

53. "When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee." Helen Hayes

54. "Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation." Unknown

55. "Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline—the first often tasting like the second." Edward Abbey

56. "We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. Trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out." Unknown

57. "Coffee is a language in itself." Jackie Chan

58. "I am a coffee fanatic. Once you go to proper coffee, you can’t go back. You cannot go back." Hugh Laurie

59. "What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup." Henry Rollins

60. "I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume." John Van Druten