User Reviews

Obviously this film is going to come under un-necessary scrutiny because it stars rising talent and heart-throb, Orlando Bloom. But at the same time, his presence in this quirky British 'mokumentary' brought the film publicity which it wouldn't have been privileged to without Bloom's status. A double-edged sword.

Orlando Bloom is clearly a pretty face. And as shown in the Calcium Kid, a very pretty body (ATTENTION to all teenage girls who are a fan of Orlando- he is topless for a fairly long time!). But people are eager to see if Orlando can stand on his own two feet without high-profile and highly-talented actors like Johnny Depp (Pirates) and Brad Pitt (Troy) to help save his films. So far, Orlando hasn't really had a chance to show-case his acting talents as he hasn't yet played the lead role in a film. Until now. Granted, the Calcium Kid is a little British flick (sort of in the same category as Bend it Like Beckham) and it is a comedy, obviously audiences aren't going to see a really insightful glimpse into Orlando's capabilities.

Still, the Calcium Kid is surprisingly...good. That's right. It's funny. It's simple, charming and...funny!

Bloom plays milk-man Jimmy who is an amateur boxer (a hobby of his). Jimmy has had 0 wins. 0 losses. and 0 knock-outs. But a few bizarre mis-haps have Jimmy facing-off with a world boxing champion and things start going terribly wrong as his ignorant, and money-hungry manager, Herbie Bush (very funny Omid Djalili) lands him in the bad-books with his local town.

Look, Bloom isn't going for an Oscar with this film. It is a quaint, funny little British comedy. It is a guarantee'd laugh, and I highly recommend it.

As Jimmy's dad says "in a two-horse race, one horse has to win" - the Calcium Kid is a winning comedy. So give it a go.

I've read all the terrible reviews; I wasn't expecting much, especially since I'm unlikely to get any British humor (being in the US and growing up in Asia). But the movie really surprised me at how many times it made me laugh out loud.

The performances are great fun to watch. Yes, the characters are cliché and very 1-D, but they are played with enough enthusiasm and charm to make up for the 'weak' script. There are places where the movie falls on the 'wrong/bad' side of cringe-worthy, like some scenes with Herbie(the manager) and Stan (the best friend), but overall, it's an enjoyable way to spend two hours.

And then, there's Jimmy (Orlando Bloom's character), who with his naivete and haplessness, manages to 'preach' without ever sounding preachy or cheesy. I know this is no Oscar movie, but it isn't as mindless as some comedies out there. At its heart, spoken through Jimmy's dad's quotes, are some good really messages. It's almost a shame that the movie isn't cut for a younger audience. It'd be a good diversion from the usual 'teen queen' movies flooding the cinemas these days.

I first saw 'The Calcium Kid' at the end of 2004, and have since bought the DVD. This movie is very underrated, with great performances from a mostly-unknown-outside-of-the-United-Kingom (at the time) cast. The film begins a week before a much-anticipated title fight between World Champion Jose Mendez (Michael Pena-Crash) of the United States and the undefeated British challenger Pete Wright (Tamer Hassan-The Football Factory). Wright is injured while sparring with Jimmy Connolly (Orlando Bloom), a milkman who is yet to have his first fight. Fearful of losing his chance at fame, Wright's manager Herbie Bush (Omid Djalili) replaces Wright with Connolly without telling Mendez or his take-no-prisoners manager, Artie Cohen (Michael Lerner-Barton Fink). The fight gains huge amounts of publicity due to the unusual nature of it, and the days preceding the fight send Connolly spiraling from underdog hopeful to fascist and everywhere in between.

Orlando Bloom is great in his performance as Jimmy Connolly. I think it is his best yet, in fact. As the leading man, he shows his skills at comedy, and is free from being overshadowed by the ensemble cast of Lord Of The Rings and Pirates Of The Caribbean. His reactions to the situations he finds himself in over the days before the big fight are priceless and pulled off realistically. Bloom, acting outside his normal period piece roles, proves that he can pull off many a different role.

Tamer Hassan is also great as the disgruntled Pete Wright. Despite his attempts to publicly humiliate Connolly and Bush, you really feel for his situation. Having the chance of a lifetime taken from you by a milkman is enough to set anybody off, and Hassan does the role justice in a hilarious way.

The Calcium Kid features great performances all around, such as those I've already mentioned, as well as Michael Pena, Michael Lerner and Omid Djalili. Look for supporting roles by Rafe Spall and Billie Piper as well.

Lastly, something must be said of first time writer/director Alex De Rakoff. The script is hilarious, and the mockumentary-style directing are spot-on. I only hope this is the first of many for De Rakoff.

To conclude, The Calcium Kid is one of the funniest films I've seen in a long time. Not only that, but Bloom's performance really makes you want to see his character pull off the upset of a lifetime. See this film; you will not be disappointed.

My sister managed to track down a Region 1 copy of "The Calcium Kid" for me on DVD.

I thought it was a good little movie. It turned out to be MUCH better than I thought it would be; I figured it'd be a comedy and some good laughs, but it had some serious quality to it too, which was deftly executed by the writers, director, and the actors. Anyone who says Bloom isn't a good or even competent actor needs to watch this film, honestly; he lands on the scale talent-wise down below Johnny Depp, admittedly, but he's still as good or better than a lot of "stars" I see on the big screen. (Give me an actor any day of the week over a star, has always been my motto.

I've always in the past liked actors hardly anyone knew.) The story is pretty simple (proving yet again, as I beat my head on my keyboard trying to come up with a good book idea, the best stories have the least bullshit to them). Jimmy Connelly is a milk deliveryman with a dairy. This guy loves milk not just in his job, but in his real life, and has imbibed so much over the course of his life that his bones are hard as granite.

For exercise, Jimmy likes to spar in the boxing ring and answers an ad at a neighborhood gym to help English middleweight hopeful Pete Wright train for his upcoming match with Mexican-American middleweight world champ Jose Mendez in London. Wright breaks the bones in his hand on Jimmy's head and Pete's manager, Herbie Bush, is forced to find someone to step into the ring in only 7 days for the heavily-televised match. He picks Jimmy, who has no sports career, and the press quickly picks up on the new kid in the "David and Goliath" vein of storytelling.

Without giving too much away, I'll just say Jimmy encounters obstacles along the way, both humorous and poignantly sad. He starts the movie as a wide-eyed, cheerfully simple fellow and ends it pretty much the same way, but does grow as a character. There are several points where Bloom's expressive facial features - eyes, mouth, eyebrows - tell a lot more than even what Jimmy is saying, and it seems he takes direction very well from whomever is behind the camera. Jimmy's no brain trust, but when push comes to shove, he's smarter than he looks, at least in common sense.

The movie is filmed "mockumentary" style - the "director" is setting out to document Pete Wright's training a week before the match, as well as his daily life and background, but switches to Jimmy's story once he steps into Pete's place. The use of cutaway shots and still frames is a bit odd at first, but you get used to them, and it works; ditto with the soundtrack choices.

There were several supporting characters I liked a lot, in addition to Jimmy. His manager, Herbie Bush (forgive me, I don't have all the actors' names in front of me as I write, so I'm going to refer to the character names), is a guy looking to make a buck any way he can, and usually comes off as strictly an opportunist lout. He's not really a bad guy, though - he thinks fast on his feet and talks too much, but his schemes just don't usually work out the way he envisions.

Probably the characters I'll remember the most, though, are the crazy neighbor girl, Margaret, and Jimmy's pal Stan. Margaret reminds me of those celebrity stalkers you read about, who just adores Jimmy. She is not, however, the woman you want to see him with at the end of the day. Stan is a comfortably slovenly overweight fellow who sticks by Jimmy when things go bad, and ends up helping him train in odd ways. Another character I liked was Paddy, Jimmy's trainer, who keeps calling him the wrong name, LOL. ("You mad old Irish bastard! My name's NOT Johnny! It's Jimmy!")

All in all, I will definitely watch it again. I get excited by good storytelling, as a writer, because it inspires me in small ways.

So far, this is my vote for the Feel Good Movie of the Year. It the whimsical story about an amateur (record: 0-0-0) boxer, played by Orlando Bloom, going up against the World Champion, played by Micheal Pena.

The movie is shot in a pseudo-documentary style, so you really get to know the characters personally. There are quite a few laugh out loud parts, and the story goes along pretty well. The filmmakers used some standard movie "cliches" and stock characters, but they used them quite effectively.

Orlando's character, The Calcium Kid, is very endearing. You just want to hug him and pinch his cheeks through the whole movie! xoxo The cast meshed really well.

Even if you don't like boxing, you'll love this movie. Boxing is just the subtheme for a cute British comedy with a few real feel good moments.

**** for me!

This is a sweet and charming comedy about the milk delivery man Jimmy Connally (played wonderfully by Orlando Bloom) who gets the chance to fight against the undefeated world championship holder Jose Mendez in a boxing ring in London.

I must admit I didn't have much hopes for the film, I like British comedies but the story seemed uninteresting to me, as I had only read a few (bad) summaries on the Net. I came across the trailer, and suddenly the film seemed exciting, and because I'm such a sucker for Orlando's pretty face, I got the film and I fell for it almost immediately!

This is without a doubt one of Orlando Bloom's better films. Comparing it to his other films, let's say Troy...Troy might have been a major Hollywood movie, with a famous cast, expensive sets and a huge budget, but as Hollywood destroyed the story, I suspect everyone got disappointed by it. Calcium Kid has no flashy film sets, no huge Hollywood Superstar names lining up on the posters, and not an especially big budget, but it only proves that everything mentioned above isn't needed to kick Hollywood's ass. :)

The cast of this film is great (with the exception of Billie Piper, who destroys every scene she's in), Orlando may be the big name, but the other actors shouldn't go unnoticed. Omid Djalili and David Kelly, especially, are doing terrific jobs!!

It's a wonderful film that makes you want to see it over and over again. Don't forget to check out the Deleted Scenes on the DVD!!!

The Calcium Kid is very funny in the tradition of "Young Frankenstein" and Monty Python stuff. Orlando Bloom shows that he can do more then play the swashbuckler. The humor ranges from subtle to absurd. The screenplay was just a little shy of pure genius. Sometimes it's nice to see a film that is just for fun. The actors have a chance to have fun and make fun of themselves. Orlando Bloom plays a wonderful part as our hapless hero. The supporting cast is great. The direction was hilarious. Pay attention though, you might miss some very funny stuff!! I give it 8/10 for the quality of work throughout the production. I literally laughed out loud several times. It's worth watching at least once, but I'll bet you'll want to see it again.

No wonder this movie never got a world wide release. It's a simple made little movie that tries to be original in several different ways but fails at it in about every way possible.

This movie is supposed to be a fake documentary, a so called mockumentary, that focuses on the build up to a title-boxing match, set in London, between the champion Jose Mendez (Michael Pena) and the underdog and milkman Jimmy 'The Calcium Kid' Connelly. It makes you wonder that if this is supposed to be a fake documentary, than why isn't it made in documentary style. It uses movie camera positions, lighting and editing, complete with cuts and different positions and a chronological scene build up. Basically the only way they tried to make it look a bit like a documentary, is by adding a 'camera' voice-over and they let the camera being attacked and talked into a couple of times. It's really lame and it certainly doesn't add to the credibility or realism of the movie. The movie as a whole is hard to take serious since it goes comically so over-the-top that it isn't even good as a funny one. The humor is lame and simple, the sort of stuff a 9-year would normally come up with.

The movie is made in 'new-English style'. The kind of style which Guy Ritchie first began to use in his movies. Fast editing, fast pace, a cool style and music, over-the-top character and lots of humor. This is probably the only reason why this movie still remains a perfectly watchable one. It however does not always work out perfect. The characters for instance are all far from likable and/or comical. The humor itself on its own is also quite simple and awkward. This movie is far from funny or clever.

The movie is filled with surprising many good and well known actors, for such a small movie as this one. The material and dialog they have to work with however isn't world class and the barely manage to make certain sequences and situations to still work out. Most of the actors also feel out of place. Orlando Bloom certainly isn't in his element as normal and simple everyday person. He just isn't the greatest comical talent around, which shows in this movie.

Reading the premise of this movie, a inexperienced underdog against the boxing champion, one could immediately scream; "Rocky" ripoff! It certainly is true that this movie is far from original and the fact that the movie literally also spoofs some moments and entire sequences, completely with the same music, from the Rocky movies doesn't help to make this movie an original one that you can take serious as a boxing movie, not even as a comical meant to be one. In the end the movie still tries to take a surprising and non-formulaic twist but the twist is far from good, interesting or funny for that mater. As a matter of fact it gives the movie a bad aftertaste.

A failed movie on many accounts. Still somewhat watchable thanks to its style.

5/10

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I was disappointed by this film. Consindering that it was from 2003 I don't understand why a star like bloom would ever agree to such a script. Maybe it was the directors fault but I really didn't like the acting, and I've seen what bloom can do "kingdom of heaven" and this was nothing.

The story was lacking, the acting not very convincing and I really did not feel for this film. Bought it, and probably wont see it again unless I got serious hangovers and already have seen all the good stuff.

Orlando was very childes and the performance didn't look whole hearted. Some of the supporting acting was okay.

In a era of 'reality TV' this low budget 'mockumentary' is a diamond in the rough, the storyline has heart but also manages to be one of the most amusing films I've seen in some time. It's a great movie about overcoming your fears and beating the odds, and it accomplishes this with laughter all the way which is a precious commodity this day and age. I find that I am Very anxious to add this movie to my collection, as soon as it's available in the States that is. :-) As a huge fan of Orlando's it was gratifying to see him turn in ANOTHER wonderful performance but it was truly great to see his sillier side come into play and I'm glad someone finally tapped into the comic talent his true fans know he possesses. Orlando's many fans in America will be blessed when this DVD is made available to us, and unfortunately for the guys, he will steal even more hearts so you can all just stop your crying now!

This film is about a milkman being chosen to stand in in the world championship boxing fight.

The dialogs are bad. The acting is so over the top. In every single scene, things are done in such an exaggerated way that it becomes unbelievable. The plot is ridiculous that only a kid would find it interesting. The jokes are not even funny. The only entertaining scene in the film is the performance of a hip hop version of the British national anthem, which is actually rather good. It goes down as an embarrassment to Orlando Bloom's portfolio. This film is so ridiculous that it is no wonder that it is not surprise that it went straight to DVD in most countries.

I must first admit to being a big Orlando Bloom fan, yes, for the looks not the acting, and was looking forward to this film. I was not disappointed. The story of Jimmy(Bloom) an amateur boxer being put up against Jose Mendez, world champion, is set in the style of a mocumentary. Billie Piper's long awaited film debut, though not a supporting role, could have had a bit more depth. Even so the film is simple and very cute. There are a few humorous moments and all in all I have to say i enjoyed this movie. Bloom's woodenness in other films is disguised by the fact he is playing a slightly dim character in this movie and even though this is not a brilliant film, I did make me smile!!

First off I must start by saying that I am sick of reading film reviews written by pretentious magazine reviewers. They slagged this film off royally and for no good reason. It seems now in the UK that unless you produce an arty film or one that was filmed in darkest Peru using only a £20 digital camera the film writers will hate it.

Why do we let people who don't like mainstream movies review main stream movies?

Anyway rant over. This movie is one of the sweetest films ever made and I mean sweet in both the original and the 'Saff London' sense.

Orlando Bloom plays the lead role really well, you can't help but like him and hope that Hose Mendes doesn't kill him in round one. The plot is simple but the comedy is well written with a few excellent lines from Omid Djalili, David Kelly, Rafe Spall and a brilliant cameo from Frank Harper.

Billie Piper still needs to improve as an actress (which she has done recently as shown by her TV roles) but she is gorgeous and it is completely believable that Jimmy (Orlando) would stop what he was doing and just stare every time he sees her.

The Calcium Kid is not the next great British movie but you do come out of the cinema feeling good, having enjoyed the last 2 hours of your life rather than feeling like you have been robbed of the £6 you paid for the ticket (Gothika, 21 Grams etc).

A quote from South Parks Eric Cartman sums it up best . . . "Sweet!" and thats my 2 cents

Filmed in the style of a documentary, this British comedy is mildly enjoyable, but doesn't really do enough to leave you craving any more that it delivers.

Orlando Bloom is Jimmy Connelly, a boxing mad Milkman who trains at the same London Gym as the British middle weight champion - who is due to fight the American champion in a matter of weeks.

While sparring, Champ lands a punch onto Jimmys head which breaks his hand, leaving his Arthur Daley type manager to look for a replacement for the fight to save his "reputation" Who steps in??....You guessed it!!, the "Calcium Kid" is invented and Jimmy gets a lot more than he bargained for!! Not bad of its kind, but its certainly no "Mike Bassett England Manager" - you can't help but feel this film only made it to cinemas due to lead Blooms new found stardom.

It's so cute! Amateuristic, yes, and also documentary style. OK, I admit, I bought it because of Orlando, but I wouldn't have if everybody had said it was bad. I read bad reviews on it, but my online buddies said to me it was a sweet and funny film. And it is!

Like Ned Kelly, this is a film where Orlando really acts very well in. He should do a bit more of these lighthearted comedies, though the sad parts in it are really well established and acted. The first time I really needed the English subtitles, because that London accent (if it is) is really something, they're really swallowing almost every single 't'! It sounds funny nevertheless. But now I can watch it without the subs.

I have to admit that i went to see this film because Orlando Bloom is in it but i was presently surprised the jokes were good the acting was good and the boxing looked real.

there was moments in this film that made me laugh out loud, orlando bloom irish dancing in the boxing ring, and billie pipers comments were also funny.

orlando was completley believable as the milkman come boxer and proved that it isnt just the big blockbusters with huge budgets and special effects that he can act well in. and the ending was not at all what i expected.

a really good british flick well worth a look!

After seeing this film, I actually thought it was quite unfortunate that we will never see Orlando Bloom in a role like this again, due to his roles since in blockbusters since, which have catapulted him out of the reach of the average low-budget film maker. He carries the role extremely well, and I think this will serve as definite proof that he isn't just there for his pretty face.

Now, this is defiantly a film made for the British sense of humour, consistent laughs most of the way through, except a brief lull in comedy in the middle, where the emotional bit comes in, but it's defiantly not just a film for the Orlando 'fan girls' out there (they may not enjoy the ending)!

It's such an absurd idea for a film that you can't help but be impressed when it turns out to be an enjoyable film, that gets you so involved that you may find yourself cheering for 'The Calcium Kid' towards the end - well I did anyway.

So. got milk?

If film titles were honest - I have to admit, I had no clue what to expect from this and I never had seen it before. Orlando was famous back then, though not someone I was particularly following. Yes Lord of the Rings and yes Pirates of the Caribbean, but I did not have him on my radar like some of the female (and male I reckon) audience had him - from the later series I was more of a Johnny Depp anyway. And his character of course - and I still am.

But back to this boxer shooting suddenly to fame and not being able to handle it. Especially because he gets quite the awful advice ... the movie is quite fun and the "found footage" or reality tv schtick (like edtv I reckon) did not bother me at all. It was quite fun overall ... apart from the end fight, which felt a bit ... wrong, but I guess I just wasn't too fond of the joke that was being made.

It's a bit hit and miss but has its heart in the right place - like any good boxer! Unforgiveable though? Using the Rocky music in a training sequence! Not cool, dos not work at all - and I know it is meant to be funny - not funny either

I think that this film is incredibly under rated and is in fact really good. It is the sort of film that is not a blockbuster everyone must see movie but is a small and local film.

I think that Orlando Bloom was great and this film means a lot to me as I am a fan of Orlando and this is his first main part in a film. I think he didn't completely muck it up as some news papers say but he did a good job of it.

Over all, I would by the film on DVD and it is watchable. I really liked the film and the fact that Orlando had his top off and was again, extremely fit as he is always in all his films.

This hard to find gem is a knockout! Best watched at face value - the comedy is upfront and there really are laughs rather than smiles to be had throughout - it is out and out Souf Lundun, innit, but has heart and spirit that will translate into any viewer's world.

As you can tell we just simply loved this - and what's not to love - Orlando Bloom who at first seems like a fish out of water grows quickly on you as the milk man who becomes the unlikely contender for the middleweight world title.(It reminded me a little of Michael Crawford's turn in the excellent film from the early Seventies "The Games" though that's a serious take on sports, they are both milkmen and both have a charm and naivety that carries both films well.) It is both silly and serious, without being embarrassing, with an excellent support cast, and I would warmly recommend this as one of the better British comedies of the decade - if sports and comedy are two of your favourite genres then you could do far far worse, a fun and surprisingly uplifting film that deserves a wider audience.