The characters in Seinfeld have their own unique ways of making money, from doing stand-up and creating a (failed) sitcom to suing multinational corporations and working for the NY Yankees. No matter what they do for a living, though, none of their careers truly last long enough for them to make an impression in the field, forcing them to start from scratch all over again.
The fab four's general lack of professionalism can be blamed for their workplace mishaps, but there were times when they lost their jobs because they just couldn't control themselves or act as any responsible adult should.
Kramer Feeds His Hansom Cab Horse Beef-A-Reeno
Kramer's stint as a hansom cab driver around Manhattan might sound romantic at first - it certainly does to Mr. and Mrs. Ross, who are happy to go on a ride for their anniversary.
However, Kramer has obviously no clue how to take care of a horse, because he ends up feeding the poor animal "Beef-A-Reeno," which contains none of the nutrients that are a usual part of the equine diet. As a result, the horse begins to expel plumes of noxious gas and the trip ends in a total disaster.
Elaine Eats A Royal Wedding Cake
Elaine starts trying to avoid office cake, but this only leads to some rather catastrophic outcomes. Desperate for some afternoon sugar, she takes a slice of cake from J. Peterman's fridge and gulps it down.
Apart from the fact that she basically took the cake without permission, it is later revealed that it cost $29,000 because it was cake from the wedding of Edward, former Duke of Windsor, and Wallis Simpson. Elaine tries to hide her role in the matter, but the CCTV catches her in the act. Peterman doesn't discipline her though, instead stating that the consequences of eating a 61-year-old cake are not going to be fun for her.
George Creates A Nap Nook Under His Desk
There is nothing George loves more than to goof off at his job. However, he goes a bit too far with his inventions, like when he has his desk adapted to include a few nap-related essentials, including an alarm clock.
While the event plays out in a completely unexpected manner, with a bomb threat called into Yankee Stadium, nobody finds out what George has been doing the whole time.
Kramer Tries To Teach Kids About Communism (As Santa Claus)
Kramer doesn't care about what work he does, only if it pays enough. As a Santa at Coleman's Dept. Store, he finds it exhausting at first, but gradually sinks into the role. However, Elaine's latest beau, Ned, has told Kramer about the various benefits of communism, so the latter naturally chooses to spread the word. To children. On Christmas - a day that is, for some, more about consumerism.
Kramer's excuse is that he is unaware of the taboo surrounding the topic, which isn't enough to save his job.
Elaine Dances In Front Of Her Colleagues
If George hadn't gone to Elaine's office party, he would have never borne witness to the magnificent debacle that is Elaine's dancing. He subsequently informs Jerry that it resembles a "full-bodied dry heave set to music," a description that is entirely justified.
While Elaine scoffs at the notion, she starts to notice that her colleagues have suddenly started to mock her behind her back. As hard as she tries to rectify the situation, it only gets worse when her dance is "leaked" via a bootleg videotape.
George Hooks Up With The Cleaning Lady
Having sex in the office, whether it's with a partner or a stranger, is both disgraceful and unprofessional. This is a space where people go to work, where they expect some form of decorum and decency.
As such, when George hooks up with Evie, the cleaning lady, it's not a good move. Unfortunately, his plan to appease her fails (once again, because of his cheapness) and she proceeds to expose him to their boss. George is instantly fired, and rightly so.
Jerry Becomes A Movie Bootlegger
Jerry takes Kramer and Kramer's suspicious friend, Brody, with him to watch a special screening of Death Blow. The comedian is astounded when Brody starts taping the movie and is flummoxed when he is threatened into doing the job.
Weirdly, Jerry takes a shine to this illegal art form, especially when Brody calls him "a genius" for his masterful work. Of course, this means that he develops an inordinate sense of pride in bootlegging, given that he refuses to let Kramer's horrible attempt smear his good name. Jerry's accomplishments are destroyed soon enough, anyway.
George Nearly Embezzles Money From Kruger Industrial Smoothing
George hatches a scheme to misappropriate his colleagues' hard-earned money, inventing something called "The Human Fund." After Mr. Kruger, his boss, magnanimously donates a massive amount to the "charity," he learns that there is no such charity in existence.
Instead of George being called out, getting arrested, and being sent to prison for embezzlement, Kruger is more upset that his employee doesn't want to give him a real present on Christmas. A Festivus-based series of shenanigans consequently erupts, but at least George is safe. For now.
Kramer's Attempt To Teach The FDNY The Best Shortcuts & Routes
Kramer, as is his habit, believes that he knows the streets of NYC better than the literal New York Fire Department — the people who spend their days mapping out the best possible routes in order to save the most lives. When Kramer shows his "list of shortcuts" to the captain, he calls it "impressive," but adds that the Fire Dept. has "some brash young hothead" coming in all the time, "talking about faster routes."
Although dismissed, Kramer doesn't take no for an answer, so after partly knocking out an attending fireman, he takes charge of the "back of the truck." The scenario plays out about as efficiently as expected, permanently ending Kramer's one-day career.
Newman's Unorthodox Methods
Newman works for the United States Postal Service — well, "work" isn't exactly the word that describes his profession. He exhibits a strange sense of honor and dignity in being a postman, but it's clear that he rarely does any actual labor.
Furthermore, Newman offers some rather oddball commentary about the postal agency, claiming, among other things, that "ZIP codes are meaningless," "nobody really needs mail," and that "nobody from the post office has ever cracked the 50 percent barrier" (in terms of mail deliverability). The worst thing, however, is that Newman considers items that "show up at the post office with no labels" as "freebies."