Teri Hatcher is not desperate and she's certainly no housewife... but here's what she is: A critical member of one of the most successful ensemble TV shows of the last decade, Desperate Housewives. A devoted single mother to her teenage daughter, Emerson. A triathlon competitor who was known to bike to the set of Desperate Housewives. A committed volunteer for several charities. She is also, in her own estimation, "a good party thrower" with a posse of faithful friends.
That's a lot, but it's not all that defines the 46-year-old actress. The past year has thrown her some curves in the form of a series of health setbacks. And yet Teri Hatcher is full of enthusiasm, optimism, and good humor. "I think it's important, on a daily basis, to keep fostering the quality of our lives," she says. "Not taking things for granted. Being aware of how we treat other people and ourselves. Watching what we eat, what we don't eat, if we exercise. These are choices we're making about what we choose to do with our time. I'm encouraging myself—and others, too—to take control of making the days in our lives have the quality we want them to."
Q: You've been through a lot lately, haven't you?
I've had a really rough year. It's been excruciating and crazy making. This is basically the journey: When I turned 45, I was in amazing shape. I had done the triathlon. I was happy in my workouts and felt superstrong. Shortly after that, I cracked two ribs at home falling off a ladder in my backyard. I was spray-painting the backdrop of a castle and a town for the musical Into the Woods for my daughter's birthday. I was at the highest rung of the ladder in my Uggs when I slipped and fell midback onto the corner of the stage. Of course I thought I was dead or paralyzed.
Then I broke those two ribs on the Desperate Housewives set while I was doing a pole-dancing scene. That was on my 45th birthday—December 8, 2009.
Did it take a long time to heal?
It took me until March to recover from the broken ribs. Then in June, I had a surgery that was...I don't want to be more specific, other than saying that I've dealt with ovarian cysts my entire life. It was a bit scary, but everything is fine. During the recovery, I couldn't lift anything or even vacuum until August. [pagebreak]
But you still did the swimming portion of the Malibu triathlon last September to raise money for Children's Hospital Los Angeles juvenile arthritis. How did you manage?
I did that swim on adrenaline. Every stroke I took, I was thinking either about the little girl I knew who had juvenile arthritis or the great white shark I was hoping would eat me because I was in agony. The water was 57 degrees. I backstroked almost the entire half mile because I couldn't keep my face in the water—it was so cold it made me dizzy. That was right before I got this thing called "frozen shoulder."
What's that like?
It's like someone taking an ice pick and sticking it in your shoulder every three seconds all day, every day. Even right now I am just throbbing in pain. I can't move my left arm. [Editor's note: Frozen shoulder occurs when the joint capsule of the shoulder joint becomes inflamed.]
Do you know what caused it?
[Shakes her head] I've been to three doctors. I've been told women get it between 45 and 55, usually in their nondominant arm. It's sometimes associated with perimenopause, which I'm not in, according to my blood work. It usually lasts about two years and then magically goes away. But nobody talks about it, so you think you're insane. It doesn't even sound like a real disease, but it's debilitating.
What treatments have you tried?
Everyone has come out of the woodwork with reflexology, physical therapy, raw food. There's not a thing I haven't tried, even cortisone shots. There's some relief for a little bit—but then not really. I've gone back and forth with sleeping aids or Advil, or stronger. I don't like the way any of that makes me feel. I'm not giving up. I'm going to try more physical therapy, which is excruciating.
Has there been a low point?
One horrible moment was me sobbing in my closet because moving my arm to put on clothes hurt so much. I called Emerson. She came in and I said, "You've hit bottom when you have to ask your 13-year-old to help hook your bra."
Does it affect you on the set?
We were shooting a scene where all of us were at the poker table. Marcia [Cross] was sitting next to me, and she dropped her eyeglasses. Reflexively, I went to pick them up for her. I shot my arm out and then instantly started crying. It took about five minutes for it to calm down, to a point where I could stop shaking.
Can you exercise?
I started a daily treadmill interval routine. I do some sit-ups, but I have to be extremely careful. I do squats. I hike. When I walk one of my dogs [Teri Hatcher has two spaniels and an American bulldog], I have to be diligent about using only my right arm. I started swimming with one arm.[pagebreak]
What are your fitness goals now?
I'm going to do that triathlon again this year, damn it. I'm going to move on with my life. I've spent about a year dominated by pain. I don't want to say that I'm in some depression, because I'm really not. Everything is good, except my shoulder.
How do you rally when you feel down?
I can't say that I'm always successful at it. I put a limited time on the blues. I say, "I allowed myself to be blue for four hours, and now I'm going to stop."
What's making you happy right now?
I feel super-open to meeting a guy. For New Year's, I took my parents and friends to Disneyland. At dinner, about 10 of us went around the table and said what they wanted for 2011. When it was my turn, I said, "Everyone who loves me knows that this is the year I need to find a man."
Have you met anyone?
The next day we were going on rides. This guy came up to me and said, "Do I know you?" He seemed nice. We talked. So he walked away and my girlfriend goes, "Should I see if he's single?" I go, "Yes." She runs over, gets his card. We went on a date, didn't work out. Fine. The point is, I'm actively trying in a different way. Since then, I've gone on a date with a very attractive man, and it was a terrific example of me manifesting this conscious change and taking responsibility for why I may have unconsciously been keeping relationships at bay. By no means am I in one, but I have three guys calling at the moment, and that's different from before.
What else are you doing?
I went to a restaurant and sat at the bar and ate by myself. I have my iPad, which is my favorite instrument of all time. I talked to a few people next to me. I'm just trying to be out. It's a little bit scary.
Describe your ideal guy.
I'm all over the map. I want to have an open mind. I'd like him to be between 39 and 54. Fun, adventurous, funny, kind, honest, smart. Successful—but I want to be clear that that doesn't necessarily mean rich.
Do you think it's hard to meet men when you're so accomplished yourself?
I do believe that men can be emasculated by successful women. I don't think I'm emasculating. But I have seen the dynamic with men who either don't make money or make less money. It's just not good for them. I still think it's in women's natures to want to be taken to dinner. And they want the man to take out the garbage.
So something's changed in you?
You open up into a period that you sense is becoming more about "me." As my daughter needs her independence, it gives me some independence. So it's sort of like me beginning to explore some things that I haven't thought about in a long time. I don't want to be alone my whole life. It is much more fun to share what you have than to have it to yourself. And it isn't like I don't have love in my life. I have a lot of friends who love me and who I love.[pagebreak]
Are your girlfriends actresses?
Most are stay-at-home moms who are genius smart, who used to be producers or writers but have made parenting their career. Two of my closest friends were friends before I had my daughter. Then there's a group of five and all their families. We met in a Mommy and Me group.
What kinds of things do you do together?
We watched the Oscars in our pajamas. We cook. We eat. We're big charades players.
Do you have any new charity projects?
I'm putting together a group to do makeovers at women's homeless shelters. I love doing hair and makeup. I dye my own hair. I mix colors. I just go to the drugstore and I get a few and then I blend them. I dye my mom's hair. I'm totally into it.
Where do you stand on plastic surgery and cosmetic enhancements these days?
I wouldn't take the position of saying I will never do...whatever. Although I don't think I will. My resistance comes from not wanting to get on the hamster wheel. It's not like you do Botox once, get fillers once. Even face-lifts, from my understanding, is something we redo 10 years later. I would be better off working on the emotional part of myself that has a problem with wrinkles.
But there's so much pressure to not look older, isn't there?
We're not being marketed to in a real way about aging. We're only being marketed to about anti-aging. But you are aging, and it doesn't matter what you do. It goes back to expectations. How could you possibly expect someone who's 45 to look like they looked at 25? It's totally unrealistic.
How do you work on the emotional part of yourself, then?
Accept myself. Try to feel self-love. Try to define myself by: What is my value? My value is that I'm a great mom, a great friend. I work really hard to give to my community, take care of my parents. [pagebreak]
Your dad had heart bypass surgery last summer. How's he doing?
He's doing well. He went on a hike with me and the dog the other day. I kept saying, "How are you?" He's like, "Will you stop asking?" He's at that point. The good news is that even though all his arteries were blocked—he was literally ready to have a massive heart attack—his heart's great. So he's probably going to be around a long time to annoy me [laughs].
So much of maintaining heart health is diet. Are any foods off-limits in your house?
I was discussing that in my own mind as I was eating an entire sleeve of Girl Scout Thin Mints last night. No, there's not a list of things. Maybe there should be. I'm a moderation person. Girl Scout cookies once a year. Bloody Marys on an airplane. Cheetos on a road trip. Disneyland cotton candy. You just don't eat it every day.
How do you relax and let it all go?
Road trips. I have my 1978 VW bus. There's something about having no plan, no direction, being where BlackBerrys don't beep. With our ambition, commitments, obligations—to step away from that and have a place in your mind where you don't have a plan or structure. Travel inspires you to understand something so much broader than your little tiny life and the little tiny things you get obsessed with.
Teri Hatcher's 40-Minute Workout Playlist
1. "Firework"/Katy Perry
2. "I Gotta Feeling"/The Blackeyed Peas
3. "Like a G6"/Far East Movement
4. "Raise Your Glass"/Pink
5. "Rhythm of Love" /Plain White T's
6. "Stuck Like Glue" /Sugarland
7. "We R Who We R"/Ke$ha
8. "All In"/ Lifehouse
