"Gays are the molecular opposites of blacks," Ann Coulter tells a room full of gay men (some of them black), because "everybody likes the gays moving in next door." And yet, the self-proclaimed right-wing Judy Garland explains, gay marriage "is not a civil right — you're not black."

Welcome to Homocon 2010, a fundraiser for gay conservative organization GOProud, held in PayPal founder Peter Thiel's candlelit New York apartment on Saturday night. Tickets went for $2,500, and the attendees — from middle-aged millionaires in dark suits to twenty-somethings in T-shirts proclaiming FREEDOM IS FABULOUS — are laughing uproariously at Coulter's punch lines. Afterward they hug her, beg for photos, and thank her "for saying what needs to be said" and "for everything you do."

This inexplicable, masochistic affection for Coulter (who went on to say that "I don't care how many studies Ted Olson produces" about gay couples making good parents, because the ideal is "one mother, one father") mirrors the conflicted loyalties of gay conservatives: who do you listen to when Republicans demonize you to win an election? Coulter may continue the line that gay marriage "was foisted on Americans by the courts," but as a movement, these men — and some women — remain more serious than their keynote speaker in their efforts to shift the GOP establishment into focusing on economic issues rather than social ones.

After all, it was Olson, George W. Bush's Solicitor General, who successfully argued for overturning California's Prop 8, and the Log Cabin Republicans who won a lawsuit that (kinda) overturned Don't Ask, Don't Tell — while Democrats failed to push the repeal through Congress, and the Obama Administration continues to defend a discriminatory policy that it opposes.

"The Democrats haven't delivered on any promises," says GOProud executive director Jimmy LiSalvia, a former senior director of Log Cabin. "And Obama opposes gay marriage!"

Of course, those promises weren't delivered because Republicans blocked most of them. And if Obama were to vocalize support for gay marriage, right-wingers would crucify him in the media. Because most of them are more like Coulter than LiSalvia, which the latter understands: "You can be against gay marriage and not be anti-gay. Ann doesn't agree with us on some issues, but she doesn't hate gay people."

In her speech on Saturday, Coulter says that "not only can gays be conservative, you pretty much have to be," because they are the "highest income demographic," because "gays are too stylish to work for the federal government," because radical Muslims want to execute them, and because "once [scientists] find the gay gene, guess who's getting aborted?"

This is the same Coulter, of course, who is comfortable with the word "faggot," wrote that Rick Santorum's comparison of gay sex to bestiality is an "indisputably true point," told an interviewer that sexually active gay men should "feel guilty about it," and mocked the "irritating lesbian" teenager in Tennessee who wanted to bring her girlfriend to senior prom. When The Politics Blog asks her why gay conservatives still gravitate toward her, Coulter dips back to the humor well: "Gays are the least politically correct people in the world — they like my jokes." And then there's this, which is apparently not a joke because she repeats the sentiment a half-dozen times throughout the night: "Gays are against gay marriage."

Never mind that numerous attendees (especially the younger ones) challenge her viewpoint on Constitutional grounds during the question-and-answer session. "The equality clause is about just the blacks," she snaps in response. Nevertheless, this isn't a dealbreaker for her gay fans. As lesbian conservative radio host Tammy Bruce — a GOProud advisor — whispers to a friend, "She's so wrong, but I love her."

But why would gay conservatives associate with someone advocating to make their starting a family illegal? (Aside from her proposal to redirect stimulus funds toward creating a "Cabinet-level Department of Accessorizing," that is.) You'd think that most people would value freedom over slightly lower taxes. Well, the attendees at Homocon do resent the lack of civil equality; they just seem to hate the deficit more. A business owner who traveled from Texas — and recently applied for a concealed-weapon permit because "I was carrying anyway, so I might as well make it legal" — says that gay Americans need federal "right to work" protections. He's lost two jobs, one as a teacher, due to his orientation. "I want equal rights," he says, even if it means regulating the private sector.

Cynthia Yockey of aconservativelesbian.com declares: "The First Amendment requires separation of church and state. There absolutely has to be a federal marriage right for everyone."

So it would seem, from one strange night anyway, that gay conservatives don't mind government intervention as long as it levels the playing field. They don't want equal results, just equal opportunity, and it's hard to argue with that — unless, of course, you're Ann Coulter, who is aware of the irony in her position: "I'm 120 years old and I'm not married." Which leaves you wondering: Is this culture warrior serious about every word that comes out of her mouth, or none of them?

The answer, whatever it means, is "yes."