Almost a month of quitting smoking now and I truly did not expect to feel worse before I felt better.

Hello ! I hope you all have been well, and your journey to self betterment has been kind to you.

Just wanted to share my experience with quitting smoking. I started smoking weed at sixteen years old, then cigarettes roughly five years ago when I moved out of my moms house. My roomies got me into it, at first I took a drag of theirs and the rush felt incredible. My overly anxious mind felt calm and still for once. My roomie and I would hang out every morning and naturally she started offering her smokes, at first I wasn’t interested but after that first experience I always said yes.

Started to buy my own because I noticed I would crave it in the middle of my shift at work and throughout the day. I worked three jobs at 19 to make ends meet, I chain smoked as a habit but for the most part it was to deal with stress. Started eating less and less, working out more, developed an eating disorder, lost so much weight to the point that co-workers were concerned and preparing me lunches. I felt incredibly bad for making people worry cause I was doing this to myself and in my mind at the time I really thought I was fine. It wasn’t until I nearly fainted at work that I started to eat on my breaks. (very low blood sugar)

Around that time I was introduced to spliffs (weed and tobacco rolled into paper) and poppers which is a tobacco and weed mix smoked out of a bong. I was told the initial rush of poppers were kinda like the equivalent to meth, and they were my favourite way to smoke at the time. I was still chain smoking through all of this.

Fast forward five years later, I have not been doing well health wise. I was having heart attack like symptoms, the nicotine did not help with the stress anymore, the weed made me anxious and panicked no matter what strain I smoked (including cbd), I keep fainting from lack of food and hydration, my lungs feel like absolute shit, my throat is constantly swollen and my tongue is always itchy, and I could barely go on a walk without feeling like I’m going to pass out. I got covid twice and felt like I was going to die. I felt like I was slowly killing myself.

So almost one month ago now, I decided to quit smoking weed and cigarettes and despite all the hell one goes through when detoxing after addiction, no word of a lie it has been the best decision I have made for my health so far. My lungs and breathing feel better, my brain and heart feels better, my relationship with food has improved, my mood has improved as I am way more level headed and calm now, and overall just been feeling proud of myself for finally quitting for good.

There are still some negative things im dealing with like smokers flu, nic cravings, sugar cravings, intrusive thoughts, emotional crying (not knowing how to manage my depression without substances), brain fog.. but the pros definitely outweigh the cons. With time and a bit of effort these things will pass, knowing this has made it easier to understand that I am not broken, I am just getting stronger.

Good luck on your journeys everyone! Thank you for letting me share, I wish you all happiness and good health. ❤️