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Friday April 24th, 2009

And I Only Am Escaped Alone To Tell Thee!

“.. A good laugh is a mighty good thing, and rather too scarce a good thing; the more’s the pity.
So, if any one man, in his own proper-person, afford stuff for a good joke to anybody,
let him not be backward, but let him cheerfully allow himself to spend and be spent in that way.
And the man that has anything bountifully laughable about him,
be sure there is more in that man than you perhaps think for.”  
Moby Dick  Herman Melville

Hi folks,

Back from a little bush holiday where I was able to finally read Moby Dick again. What a book. Avast! That language.

Prose approaches poetry the further back in time and history it was created -  the language changes so much that the old vernacular is now unusual, colourful, refreshing and unexpected! I’ve often thought that if you put ten of anything contemporary  – a car, a caravan, a comic book or a dvd – into a locked safe and left it in trust for your great-grandchildren, it would be worth a fortune to them. I wish I still had my huge collection of baseball cards and first edition comic books that I collected when I was ten years old.  Or every good guitar I’ve ever owned. I bought an original Telecaster in New York for $150 in the 60s. Some of them are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars now!

What creates value is scarcity.  These days we have more digital photos that we can ever print out. But in a thousand years, our ancestors may be lucky to find one or two mementoes of their old relatives from the 21st century.  Just an ordinary photograph of an ordinary person, taken in the 1800s, today looks like a precious art piece.

So, as regards writing -  be sincere, tell it like it is, describe the common taken-for-granted things and feelings that surround you  - and time will turn it into the most beautiful poetry for you.   ‘Sumer is icumen in, Lhude sing cuccu! . . . .’

Profundity from Soap Opera
While making the lunch today, I overheard the TV playing in the other room. ‘The Young and the Restless’ came on. Now, I don’t normally watch this show but I overheard something that I thought worth reflection:  ‘Out of context, the truth can sometimes be deadly.’


THE NAZI BUG

There was an interesting little compilation of home movies by Eva Braun on cable this week.  In one, they showed a sketch that Adolph Hitler had made, in a café, of a car that he proposed that would be within the budget of all Germans.  In the 1930s, cars cost more than most people earned in a year. When Hitler became the chancellor of Germany in 1933, he promoted the idea of a car affordable enough for the average working person. The Volkswagen, which means "people's car" in German, was essentially a political promise to win the public's goodwill. Hitler met with automotive designer Ferdinand Porsche in 1933 and charged Porsche with creating the new car. The chancellor required that the Volkswagen carry two adults and three children, go up to 60 miles per hour, get at least 33 miles per gallon, and cost only 1,000 reichsmarks. Hitler may also have named the car the Beetle. I had a VW bug when I lived in Berkeley in the 70s.  I covered it in coffee sacks and put six layers of shellac over it to seal it. It was . . . Art.  Yeah right. Like Keith Richards once said, ‘Art is just short for Arthur.’
http://hubpages.com/hub/Hitler_and_the_Volkswagon



FAVOURITE LETTERS OF THE WEEK

Joe Dolce You Rock !!!
I have just listened to your songs Guantanamo Bay and One Iraqi child. Keep up the good work !!  Your songs, feel like they were pulled directly from my head. I hate war too. PHIL

Dear Joe,
Re: Man Jailed for Sex with Car Wash Vacuum
Not sure, but I think he might be the father of my Dustbuster.  Bill Lempke
ps I don't think he should have been arrested. What he did definitely wasn’t dirty.

(Note:  Bill, that really sucks. Psychiatrists say it's because devices like that live in a vacuum - that when they were little, they didn't have anyone to nozzle with. They grow into inflated airbags. Personally, I've always preferred the humbleness of broomstick handles.
ps.  the illegal issue was that the device was underwatt.)

Dear Joe:
In this busy world where we all skim through our emails and in a split second decide which to read and which to ditch I always find time to read yours or at least leave it open until I can at some quiet moment during my busy day. Thank you so much for all the interesting information and most of all for the beautiful poetry. Your letters are an oasis for me in an otherwise relentless day. Kind regards, Argyro Gavalas

Hi Joe:
Enjoy your vacation! I just discovered my favorite audio show (that I have on cassette and have shared around over the past 30 years) is now up on the Internet (Goddess
bless the Internet!) The  Human Holiday, part I and part II here:
www.hbci.com/~wenonah
Okay, don't take it too seriously, but it purports to be a sales pitch to a group of disembodied souls about signing up for a life on planet Earth, The
Earth Experience.  The door prize (in Part II) is three days as a bellis perennis, a temperate-zone daisy in the private garden of Mrs. Barbara Denhagen,
Gladdings Corner, in Berkshire, England,  on Tuesday june 7 - June 9, 1935.So it's all in fun, but I think embedded in the fun, may be an interesting
truth: that we may well sign up for how long we stay here.
A couple more things.
Just today in syndicated astrologer Rob Brezsny's free weekly horoscope
newsletter (another fun subscription) he mentioned a website where Pronoiaic
thoughts are being posted. "Pronoia" means, according to Rob (who also wrote
a highly recommended book of that title) that "even if we can't see and
don't know, primal benefactors are plotting to emancipate us. The winds and
tides are on our side, forever and ever, amen. The fire and rain are
scheming to steal our pain. The sun and moon know our real names,  and the
animals pray for us while we're dreaming... Can you guess how many
humble humans are busy making things for you to use and enjoy?"
For a free and refreshing taste of Brezsny’s view for those who don't
already have the book:
http://pronoiaresources.wordpress.com/
Sample posting:
Meet The World’s Only Immortal (And Very Beautiful) Animal
http://www.zmescience.com/meet-the-worlds-only-immortal-animal
Perhaps I will return as one of these!!
Love Always, Ramon

Note: Monty Python fans will love The Human Hoiday. Ramon, perhaps you never left as one of these-

Joe...
RE: High School Memories
Back in Mrs. Martinson's Latin class, Joe Gurley, Bob Hartman, and I would translate sentences that caused her to ponder taking one step beyond the second floor window. I somewhat recall Gurley's interpretation about Catullus that went " Catullus is wearing a magic helmet and cannot be seen from the stable." The phrase "aqua magna lacuna in est' is still remembered (water is in the large pool!).  Someone should translate Ted Hughes into latin. God bless the U.S. and its allies against terroists [sic].!!! Jeff Kent

(Note: Jeff,  here’s some suggested Ted Hughes-style Latin for you:
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
[In the good old days, children like you were left to perish on windswept crags.]

By the way, in case you haven’t noticed, Bush is not in office any more. That means no more McCarthy-era terrorist paranoia, too. Wakey wakey! But you’re right about those other guys: the Terroists. See a recommended solution:
http://www.terro.com/index.php

Ferret Legging

Ferret legging is a sport that was allegedly practiced in Yorkshire,
England, UK. It was first created by Donald Katz, in an humorous article
entitled "King of the Ferret Leggers," in the October 1987 issue of Outside
magazine.

The sport involves putting two ferrets inside one's trousers, having first
tied one's trouser cuffs firmly to one's ankles, lest the ferrets escape.
The competitor then cinches his belt tightly, and the clock is started.
Competitors cannot be drunk or drugged, nor can the ferrets be drugged. In
addition, competitors cannot wear underpants beneath their trousers, and the
ferrets' teeth cannot be filed or otherwise blunted. Competitors can touch
the ferrets, but only from the outside of the trousers.

The record-holder at the time of Katz' article was Reg Mellor, a 72-year-old
retired miner from Barnsley in Yorkshire. In Katz's comic masterpiece,
Mellor's winning time was five hours and twenty-six minutes of "keepin' 'em
down." He did this on July 5, 1981 at the Annual Pennine Show at Holmfirth,
Yorkshire. It was Mellor who instituted the practice of wearing white
trousers in ferret-legging matches "to better show the blood."
(thanks to Ramon Sender)


FAVOURITE YOUTUBE ‘SHADDAP YOU FACE’ COMMENTS IN RECENT WEEKS

‘There's another version of this song... I'm not sure who did it but they played it on the Super Mario Bros Super Show back in the 80s. I think the other version is sung by actual Italians but I'm not sure. Does anyone know where I can find it?’ BizzarreProductions

(Note:  Actual Italians, eh?  Listen donkey breath, when I want the asino, I’ll wiggle the carota.)


‘my grandmother always sang this to me when i was a kid and i could never figure out what it was until now.’  2dumbnot2live


‘dumme scheisse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ maxdahero2009

(Note:  Achtung Heinrich!  Ven I vant the schnitzel, I viggle the viener.)


‘he not a great italian like sinatra, dean martin. he has a cute song. upa youa colo’  slapjaxx

(Note:  Sinatra was a gangster and Dino was an alcoholic. I, on the other hand, have merely carried the odd illegal bootleg dvd in from Bali but have been known, now and then, to snort some parmesan cheese – which is not addictive in itself, but it can lead to the harder cheeses.  And it’s not colo, it’s culo, like in vaffanculo, you undereducated chipmunk roadkill fur sniffer.)


‘anyone think he sounds abit like Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb?’ SoulFly9310


‘Feel sorry for the guy on the accordian [molly meldrum]. Sure, he needed the money. But still.’  hiberniate

‘The accordian player looks like a potential sex offender.’  EdjKent

(Note:  Molly would have probably liked to try something improper with me when I was seven, but as he would have been seven too, it probably doesn’t count.)


‘8th on most annoying songs list lol’ soxy888

‘you mean 8th on the greatest records ever list!! ;)’ S1S1lver

‘Joe Dolce is a brilliant musician. He has done so much.
It's a pity that he is most remembered for a little tune he had in his head and others convinced him to put it out there.
He regrets it to a degree, too. Do more homework on Joe. He deserves it...
Imagine if the Beatles were most remembered for 'Yellow Submarine', or 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand'. Naganokumas

(Note:  I’m touched. Thank you.  But to set the record straight, no one convinced me, via anal probe or otherwise, to put out ‘Shaddap You Face.’  In fact, I had to convince others – just about everyone I showed it to laughed me out of their offices. Only Mike Brady and Remix Music took the punt. I think Big Mike had run out of his ha-ha-ha medication that day. In any case,  over the years, I’ve come to love that little Italian water-headed baby. It has forced me to continue to think for myself. If life gives you a lemon, make lemon risotto. See Recipe Archive for further instructions: http://members.iinet.net.au/~dwomen/files/nlJuly1307.html#anchor220333

What I’m Reading This Week

Moby Dick – by Herman Melville. ‘Call me Ishmael.’ One of the greatest stories of the sea ever written. Suggestion for reading: there are really two books in one. Ishmael’s dramatic narrative of the hunt for the White Whale by Captain Ahab (Avast! Moby Dick nibbled off his leg.) And the in-between-the-narrative chapters which are a kind of poetic-encyclopedia of every detail of  19th century whaling, from the making of blubber to weaving of rope. If you just want the narrative, watch the film. But the novel is where the poetry lives.

Dance of Death – by Lincoln Preston. This one is as almost as good as their masterpiece, ‘Cabinet of Curiosities.’

Gaudete – long ‘epic’ poem by Ted Hughes. Not recommended. Written in 1977. Better choice: Read ‘Birthday Letters’ alongside Sylvia Plath’s ‘Ariel’ poems if you want to see how Hughes defensively tries to weasel out of personal responsibility for her tragedy.

Signature Killers – by Robert Keppel. A comparison of the particular signatures that serial killers leave unconsciously behind. A different style of evidence than M.O. (modus operandi). Not for the faint hearted but essential reading if you are interested in understanding sex criminals.

The Poetry of Elizabeth Barrett Browning  - Important visionary woman’s voice, faded in the mists of time. Strong influence on Virginia Woolf, especially the verse novel, Aurora Leigh, which I believe is the forerunner to ‘A Room of One’s Own.’
“ Ending, therefore, and preparing once more to quit England, I venture to leave in your hands this book, the most mature of my works, and the one into which my highest convictions upon Life and Art have entered...” E. B. B.
Virginia Woolf wrote this in her essay on the poem:
“ Stimulating and boring, ungainly and eloquent, monstrous and exquisite, all by turns, it overwhelms and bewilders; but nevertheless it still commands our interest and inspires our respect... We laugh, we protest, we complain – it is absurd, it is impossible, we cannot tolerate this exaggeration a moment longer – but nevertheless, we read to the end enthralled.”
Barrett Browning studied the work of Charlotte Bronte and George Sand but was not a big fan of Jane Austen, whom she felt was ‘one-sided’ in her portrayal of people:
“ She is perfect in what she attempts.... But the excellence lies, I do hold, rather in the execution than the aspiration. It is a narrow, earthly, & essentially unpoetical view of life: it is only half a true view. Her human creatures never look up; and when they look within it is not deeply... God, Nature, the Soul... What does she say, or suggest of these?”
Here’s a free version for you online -  218 pages of 19th century magic! If you want a way into this – perhaps the longest poem in the English language – start with lines 385 –490, in the First Book, beginning with,’I broke the copious curls upon my head . .’.
http://digital.library.upenn.edu/women/barrett/aurora/aurora.html

Very important: Elizabeth Barrett Browning, and her husband, Robert Browning, also a gifted poet, were one of the rare creative couples that stayed together and continued to support each other’s genius, without breaking up or driving each other insane. We need more artistic success stories like this!  Am I right?  So choose your role models carefully. Also, for you kids still living at home with their folks (you know who you are), Robert lived with his parents until he was 34, writing poetry, until he met and married Elizabeth.

What I’m Watching This Week

Moby Dick – with Gregory Peck as Captain Ahab and Orson Wells as the preacher. Screenplay by Ray Bradbury and John Huston. Huston also produced and directed it.

Leonard Cohen -‘Live.’ London performance of his current outstanding concert tour. I have been working on an essay about Cohen for some months now for my Songwriter’s Workshop. It is hard going, folks. He is one of the most complex singer-songwriter-poets I have encountered, resistant to facile scrutiny. Although there is much I don’t like about him, for instance, his gangpressing of the erotic and sexual through the cookie-cutter of Judeo-Christian, and therefore patriarchal, spirituality, and his glorification and overdependence on women – particularly younger women – to look after him – from management, to sex, to artistic collaboration – still, there is much to admire and learn from. He is the only AUTHENTIC poet (in the sense of understanding poetic structure) writing songs and his best songs, while superior to his lazy poetry, for the most part, are in fact his best stand-alone poems, unlike Dylan’s recent output, and when Cohen uses a cliché, which he always does lately, he also follows it with an unexpected and enlightening turn of phrase, unlike Dylan. He is also an elder (he published his first book of award winning poetry, ‘The Spicebox of the Earth,’ before I had ever written a single song and before I even knew how to sing!) and therefore deserves some respect as a senior groundbreaker in the craft. But here’s a short poem from ‘The Book of Longing’ that illustrates a little of what I mean above:

Because of a Few Songs

Because of a few songs
Wherein I spoke of their mystery,
Women have been
Exceptionally kind
To my old age.
They make a secret place
In their busy lives
And they take me there.
They become naked
In their different ways
And they say,
‘Look at me, Leonard
Look at me one last time.”
They they bend over the bed
And cover me up
Like a baby that’s shivering.

(Note: Girls, doesn’t that make just want to take your underwear off
In front of the old prophet and show him your labrys tattoo?)


What I’m Listening to This Week

Grace – Jeff Buckley. I missed this one when it came out but better late than never. More about Jeff below.


JEFF BUCKLEY

Jeff Buckley was the son of the popular 70s folk singer, Tim Buckley, and father and son died at around the same age, Tim (28), in 1975,  and Jeff (31), in 1997.  Most folks assume that they both were victims of drug overdoses but this is incorrect. Tim died of a heroin overdose but Jeff died in a swimming accident. Tim had an unusually high voice for male singers of his time but Jeff’s voice even surpasses his father’s in uniqueness. Listening to the album Grace, I could hear Freddie Mercury, Robert Plant, Jim Morrison, traces of the Beatles and even counter-tenor, Alfred Deller! What a brew. Listen to ‘Corpus Christie Carol’ and then try ‘The Last Goodbye’. I’ve never seen this kind of stretch before in a young rock singer. We truly lost someone amazing when he passed away. Then have a listen to Jeff’s version of ‘Hallelujah’. by Leonard Cohen:  ‘live’ -  just Buckley and his electric guitar. In one section, he plays the wrong chord and in another he mentally blanks out on the verse for a moment, but this magnificent interpretation will warm the hearts of anyone who longs for the great early 70s psychedelic pop singers. This kid got the recipe correct!

Corpus Christie Carol
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxOqq_CThf8

The Last Goodbye
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hm8JoMhgjRw&feature=channel

Hallelujah
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AratTMGrHaQ

Interview with Tim Buckley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4CCuJblouo&feature=related

Rare Semi-Improvisational Live Performance of Tim Buckley with band:
(wrenching and fragmented to watch but shows the demons at work)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjdK-jUiOI4&feature=related

Interview with Jeff Buckley
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=7079934549864216104


New Mahler Glossary

Langsam = Slowly
Schleppend = Slowly
Dampfer auf = Slowly
Mit Dampfer = Slowly
Allmahlich in das Hauptzeitmass ubergehen = do not look at conductor
Im Anfang sehr gemaechlich = in intense inner torment
Alle Betonunger sehr zart = with more intense inner torment
Getheilt = out of tune
Von hier an in sehr allmaehlicher aber stetiger Steigerung bis zum Zeichen = From this point on, the spit valves should be emptied with ever-increasing emotion
Hier ist ein frisches belebtes Zeitmass eingetreten = Slowly
Hapttempo = Slowly
Noch ein wenig bechleunigend = slowing down with a sense of speeding up
immer noch zuruckhaltend = with steadily decreasing competence
sehr gemaechlich = With indescribably horrific inner torment
Etwas bewegter, aber immer noch ruhig = Somewhat louder, though more inaudible than before
Gemaechlich = Intermission
Ganz unmerklich etwas zuruckhaltend = Slowly
Etwas gemaechlicher als zuvor = Slowly
Zurueckhaltend = Gesundheit
Von hier ab unmerklich breiter werden = As if wild animals were gnawing on your liver
Ohne cresc. = Without toothpaste
Immer noch zurueckhaltend = slowly
Allmaehlich etwas lebhafter = Screaming in agony
Ohne Nachschlag = Without milk
Kraeftig bewegt = Slowly
Alle = Second violins tacet
Mit dem Holze zu streichen = like a hole in the head
mit Parodie = Viola solo
sehr einfach und schlicht = Slowly
Daempfer ab = eyes closed
Den ersten Ton scharf herausgegeben = Do not play until buzzer sounds
Am Griffbrett = As if in tune
Aeusserst zart aber ausdrucksvoll = Radiantly joyful despite the itching
Wieder zurueckhaltend = Increasingly decreasing
Noch breiter als vorher = Better late than never
Nicht eilen = No eels
Allmaelich (unmerklich) etwas zuruckhaltend = Much faster (slower) than conductor
Lang gestrichen = Heads Up
Lang gezogen = Heads down
Die werden allmaehlich staerker und staerker bis zum fp = In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as flotation device.
(thanks to waylandn)


WORLD STATISTICS
Informative video on the progression of information technology,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL9Wu2kWwSY


End "Corrective" Rape of Lesbians in South Africa

Target: South African President Kgalema Motlanthe
Sponsored by: Care2
A new ActionAid report describes the shocking rise of "corrective" rape in South Africa - in which South African lesbians are being raped in an effort to "cure" them of their sexual orientation. Support groups in Cape Town say they see 10 new cases of "corrective" rape every week. And it's even more widespread around the rest of the country.
Many perpetrators of rape already go unpunished in South Africa, but the situation is even worse for lesbian women. Indeed, 31 lesbian women have been murdered in homophobic attacks since 1998, but in only one of these cases has there been a conviction.
Although South Africa's constitution recognizes rights of gay and lesbian people, its legal system does not view crimes committed against gay and lesbians on the basis of sexual orientation to be hate crimes. The South African legal system must recognize "corrective" rape as a hate crime in addition to a rape in order to establish a greater punishment for this brutal and widespread act of sexual violence. Urge South African President Kgalema Motlanthe to deem "corrective" rape a hate crime!
deadline: Ongoing...
goal: 30,000
Send Letter:
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/takeaction/516925943?z00m=19752166


Welcome to Mississauga
Hurricane Hazel - Woman Mayor of Debt-Free Mississauga has Won 11 Elections in a Row – 31 Years.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fY79KbCptTo


STEWARD OF SOUTHWEST AIRLINES RAPPING THE SAFETY INFORMATION
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pvdCFYLf_JI
(thanks to Dai Woosnam)

~ FAMOUS DOLCES OF THE WORLD ~

THE DOLCE CHANNEL

Dolce, the premier source for new and exciting quality entertainment for those who love all things Italian

 
From feature films, documentaries, TV series & specials to user-generated video, social networking and multi-media properties, Dolce is the most comprehensive media network for Italian, Italian-American and Italophile content

RADIO SHOWS
The Giorgio Repeti Show | Heart of Little Italy | Gina's Hour | Giambotta Dolce | Made In Italy | Lombardi's Lyrics

http://www.dolcechannel.com/pages/liveradio.php

RECIPES

Whale Stew

Ingredients:
   1 (105 ton) Whale
   1896 lbs Onions
   7326 lbs Potatoes
   1908 gallons Tomato Sauce
   2276 lbs Carrots
   927 lbs Celery
   104 lbs Salt
   76 lbs Black Pepper
   52 gallons Tabasco Sauce

Directions:
Place whale in pot with tomato sauce.
Cook at 300 degrees for 4 hours.
Add onions, potatoes, carrots, celery, salt, pepper and Tabasco sauce.
Simmer 36 hours.
Serves 347,161 people.


White Whale

Although the white whale or beluga whale is small compared to other whales, it provides a considerable amount of food. The outer skin of the whale, muttuk, is regarded as a delicacy. The most favoured parts of muttuk come from the tail and the two side flippers. Muttak is always eaten raw-fresh, boiled or raw-frozen. The large quantities of meat that come from the white whale are only eaten after it has been sliced into thin pieces and hung to dry. Dried whale meat and muttuk are often eaten together.

The intestines of whale may be cleaned then braided and hung to dry. There is another way to prepare whale intestines which involves cleaning and cutting them into approximately 20cm lengths. Each piece is subsequently packed with whale blubber and the ends are tied with string or sinew. The intestines are then boiled, hung to dry and, on occasion, lightly smoked. They are often eaten with dried whale meat, or any other type of dried meat.

Another part of the whale that is consumed is the cartilage found in the tail, flippers and above the head. This cartilage, or qakalaaq, is hard and crunchy. It is shaved off in thin slices and eaten raw.

Despite the large quantities of muttuk and meat from the white whale, wastage is minimized through sharing a harvested animal with the entire community. The muttuk may be kept fresh for extended periods of time by cutting it into square sections which are secured to a rope and left to float in the sea water with the blubber side up. It will remain fresh for seven or more days when stored in this manner.


Whale
(A whale found dead on a the beach. George Hunt 1914 translation of a old Kwakuitl receipe given by Elie Hunt)
When the hunter finds a dead whale, he goes home to his house; and when he comes to the beach in front of his house, he stands up in the bow of his small hunting-canoe and promises a whale-feast to his people. Then his people learn that he has found a dead whale. He gives to his daughter the name Place-of-cutting-Blubber, for he invites them on her behalf.
Then the tribe make ready.
They sharpen their butcher-knives that day.
In the morning, when daylight comes, the whole tribe launch their small canoes for carrying whale-blubber.
Their wives steer the canoes when they start. (more)
http://www.hallman.org/indian/whale.html


Other Whale Recipes (including Seashepherd's Pie, Whale Pie, Whale in a Wok, Whale Babotie, Whale Jerk Candy, Minke Sashimi)
http://www.worldwhalers.com/publications/recipes.htm

Ode to a Baccala
                                  after Dylan Thomas

The fat that through the green frog fries the fish
Simmers my salt cod;
No salmon-stream sucking swim up,
But to sleep, to whit, to dream, 'neath a salt sea sand,
And I am dumb to tell the dumb dumbwaiter
That at my tablecloth goes the same crooked carp.
 
O Baccala swimming a dream-fed Dead Sea Swamp,
Mouth of salt, fish-knifed and filleted
Free of Gnostic scale,
Gutted like a fishy Infidel
Caught red-finned with mermaid porn,
Fish-buried in a barrel's belly
No Ahab needle to bug-pin and winnow
The Great White Minnow
But to lay four score and seven league asunder
A salty sarcophogas to slumber.
 
Three apple-dappled days o' fresh winter's weather water
And it doth suffer a salt-change
Into something chewy and strange,
Of its bones is choking made,
And I alone live to suck the tail.
 
Call me Ishmael.
Roll me in cornmeal.
Allahhhhh . . .  
Baccalahhhhhhhh . . .
 
    Forsooth!
         Or for Dante!
                Al dente!
To the tooth!

~ Joe Dolce ~

Joe Dolce - ‘live’ at Yungaburra Folk Festival
(blues harp and guitar -without use of harp holder!)
'I didn't even know you could do that. That's the mark of a really well crafted musician from the old school. Almost vaudevillian. Awesome entertainer!'  Gurrier
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAds3WyYgPQ&feature=related

Henry Lawson Festival
"... the best act I have had on the concert bill in four years of organising the event... people in town are still talking about it." Peter Soley, Henry Lawson Festival Committee

Joe Dolce new CD, 'The Wind Cries Mary,' chosen as ALBUM OF THE YEAR by 97.1 FM, 3MDR Radio, Melbourne!

Listen to some excerpts via the link below:
Joe Dolce Electronic Press Kit
http://www.sonicbids.com/JoeDolce




THE FINAL HURRAH

Single, Engaged & Married

Single ~~

Sipping her drink, the single girl smiled and said, "Last Friday at the end of the work day I went to my boyfriend's office wearing a leather coat. When all the other people had left, I slipped out of it and all I had on was a leather bodice, black stockings and stiletto heels. He was so aroused that we made passionate love on his desk right then and there!"

Engaged~~

The engaged woman giggled and said, "That's pretty much my story! When my fiancee got home last Friday, he found me waiting for him in a black mask, leather bodice, black hose and stiletto pumps. He was so turned on that we not only had sex all night, he wants to move up our wedding date!"

Married~~
The married woman put her glass down and said, "I did a lot of planning. I made arrangements for the kids to stay over at Grandma's.. I took a long scented-oil bath and then put on my best perfume; I slipped into a tight leather bodice, a black garter belt, black stockings and six-inch stilettos. I finished it off with a black mask.
When my husband got home from work, he grabbed a beer and the remote, sat down and yelled, 'Hey, Batman, what's for dinner?
(thanks to Ian Thompson)