The star-studded, short-lived and absolutely awful SFO TV show

There was Hollywood buzz around SFO in December of 1969.

Camera crews from NBC were there, stars in tow, to film a new television show called “San Francisco International Airport.” It was supposed to be the network’s new must-see drama.

It really, truly was not.

Despite its all-star '70s cast — Bonanza’s Pernell Roberts as the airport manager, Clu Gulager as head of airport security, Van Johnson as a San Francisco newspaper columnist and Tab Hunter as the villain — the result was an unwatchable mess so bad its pilot was lampooned on a 1994 episode of “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” The rest of the episodes seem to have disappeared altogether.

The pilot was movie-length and promised to show the dramatic happenings at a major American airport. The plot revolves about Hunter’s scheme to steal $3 million from a plane with a federal reserve shipment aboard. He disguises himself as a priest, holds a secretary hostage and, thanks to the easy-going airport standards of 1970, has an accomplice simply walk onto the tarmac and unload the money from the plane.

That’s the most narrative-driven storyline. The rest of the pilot is taken up with a series of bizarre or boring vignettes that do little to advertise the airport. A casual viewer would get the impression SFO was a font of petty family drama, hippie-on-businessman violence and way too many hijackings for a single business day.

Some of the better moments include:

— An incredible subplot wherein Van Johnson’s son, who appears to be about 14 but acts like he’s eight, casually steals a small plane and flies off to get the attention of his divorcing parents. He’s talked down from the skies by our hero, Pernell, who guides the crying teen through landing the plane.

— Tab Hunter waving a fake boarding pass at a desk agent and walking onto his flight. Ah, pre-9/11 security.

— Clu Gulager, head of SFO security, mediating a long argument between a businessman and a stereotypical hippie, surely a situation that could be handled by someone lower down than chain than airport security chief (who is dealing with a hostage situation, no less).

When the pilot aired, critical reviewers were harsh. And even Roberts pretty clearly hated it.

"I can't say that acting turns me on,” he told the press. “I don't think acting is therapy for me: nor is any kind of work. I am disorganized. I find very little to motivate me."

He did not return for the remainder of the series.

Neither did Tab Hunter (he was written off in the first episode) nor Van Johnson (too expensive). Lloyd Bridges was brought in to take over Roberts’ role, but he too seemed to openly despise the project. When The Chronicle asked him about a possible second season, he replied, "Doing the same character each week is not really acting.” And Bridges would know, he starred in 155 episodes of "Sea Hunt."

Luckily for Lloyd, there was no second season. It was canceled after a six-episode run.