Analyzing and Composing About College Writing 1 The Top Twenty: A Quick Guide to Troubleshooting Your Writing 2 Expectations for College Writing 3 Oral and Multimedia Assignments student presentation 4 Design for College Writing pages 1– 42 QUICK ACCESS MENU The Writing Process pages 43  –111 5 Writing Situations 6 Exploring Ideas 7 Planning and Drafting 8 Developing Paragraphs 9 Reviewing and Revising 10 Editing and Reflecting revised student draft student statement Critical Thinking and Argument pages 113 –160 11 Critical Reading 12 Analyzing Arguments student analysis 13 Constructing Arguments student essay Research pages 161–213 14 Preparing for a Research Project 15 Doing Research 16 Evaluating Sources and Taking Notes 17 Integrating Sources and Avoiding Plagiarism 18 Writing a Research Project Usage and Style Resources 48 MLA Style for In-Text Citations 49 Explanatory and Bibliographic Notes 50 List of Works Cited 51 student essay, mla style Sentence Style APA, Chicago, and CSE Documentation 52 APA Style student essay, apa style 53 Chicago Style student essay, chicago style 54 CSE Style student proposal, cse style 55 Writing in U.S. Academic Genres 56 Clauses and Sentences 57 Nouns and Noun Phrases 58 Verbs and Verb Phrases 59 Prepositions and Prepositional Phrases Basic Grammar Verbs Subject-Verb Agreement Pronouns Adjectives and Adverbs Modifier Placement Comma Splices and Fused Sentences 37 Sentence Fragments 60 Academic Work in Any Discipline 61 Writing for the Humanities student essay 62 Writing for the Social Sciences student report 63 Writing for the Natural and Applied Sciences student lab report 64 Writing for Business student documents Commas Semicolons End Punctuation Apostrophes Quotation Marks Other Punctuation Capital Letters Abbreviations and Numbers Italics Hyphens Luns.EverywiEx4.1st page.110508.indd 1 pages 577  –  623 Writing in the Disciplines 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 pages 367  –  424 Punctuation and Mechanics pages 547  –  576 For Multilingual Writers 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 pages 283  –  365 Sentence Grammar pages 477  –  545 pages 253  –281 24 Coordination, Subordination, and Emphasis 25 Consistency and Completeness 26 Parallelism 27 Shifts 28 Conciseness 29 Sentence Variety pages 425  –  475 MLA Documentation 19 Writing to the World 20 Language That Builds Common Ground 21 Language Variety 22 Word Choice and Spelling 23 Glossary of Usage pages 215 –252 Language 11/12/08 5:45:54 PM This page intentionally left blank 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page i The EVERYDAY Writer With Exercises 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page ii this page left intentionally blank 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page iii The EVERYDAY Writer Fourth Edition With Exercises Andrea A. Lunsford STANFORD UNIVERSITY A section for multilingual writers with Paul Kei Matsuda ARIZONA STATE UNIVERSITY Christine M. Tardy DEPAUL UNIVERSITY BEDFORD / ST. MARTIN’S Boston ◆ New York 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page iv For Bedford / St. Martin’s Senior Developmental Editor: Carolyn Lengel Senior Production Editor: Harold Chester Assistant Production Manager: Joe Ford Senior Marketing Manager: John Swanson Art Director: Lucy Krikorian Text Design: Anne Carter Copy Editor: Wendy Polhemus-Annibell Photo Research: Martha Friedman, Connie Gardner Cover Design: Donna Lee Dennison Cover Art and Illustrations: Eric Larsen Composition: Pre-Press PMG Printing and Binding: Quebecor World Taunton President: Joan E. Feinberg Editorial Director: Denise B. Wydra Editor in Chief: Karen S. Henry Director of Development: Erica T. Appel Director of Marketing: Karen R. Soeltz Director of Editing, Design, and Production: Marcia Cohen Assistant Director of Editing, Design, and Production: Elise S. Kaiser Managing Editor: Shuli Traub Library of Congress Control Number: 2009928112 Copyright © 2010 (APA update), 2009, 2005, 2001, 1997 by Bedford/St. Martin’s All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, except as may be expressly permitted by the applicable copyright statutes or in writing by the Publisher. Manufactured in the United States of America. 5 4 3 2 1 0 f e d c b a For information, write: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 75 Arlington Street, Boston, MA 02116 (617-399-4000) ISBN-10: 0-312-66490-7; ISBN-13: 978-0-312-66490-9 Acknowledgments Acknowledgments and copyrights appear at the back of the book on pages 624–625, which constitute an extension of the copyright page. 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page v How to Use This Book The Everyday Writer provides a “short and sweet” writing reference you can use easily on your own — at work, in class, even on the run. Small enough to tuck into a backpack or briefcase, this text has been designed to help you find information quickly, efficiently, and easily. I hope that this book will prove to be an everyday reference — and that the following tips will lead you to any information you need. Ways into the book QUICK ACCESS MENU. Inside the front cover you’ll find a list of the book’s contents. Once you locate a general topic on the quick access menu, flip to the tabbed section of the book that contains information on the topic, and check the menu on the tabbed divider for the exact page. USER-FRIENDLY INDEX. The index lists everything covered in the book. You can look up a topic either by its formal name (ellipses, for example) or, if you’re not sure what the formal name is, by a familiar word you use to describe it (such as dots). Inside the back cover, a brief but detailed table of contents lists chapter titles and major headings. BRIEF CONTENTS. The first tabbed section provides guidelines for recognizing, understanding, and editing the most common errors in student writing today. This section includes brief explanations, handedited examples, and cross-references to other places in the book where you’ll find more detail. GUIDE TO THE TOP TWENTY. Easy-to-follow source maps walk you step-by-step through the processes of selecting, evaluating, using, and citing sources. Documentation models appear in two tabbed sections — gold for MLA style and white for APA, Chicago, and CSE styles — with the different documentation styles color-coded in these sections. CLEAR ADVICE ON RESEARCH AND DOCUMENTATION. REVISION SYMBOLS. If your instructor uses revision symbols to mark your drafts, you can consult the list of symbols at the back of the book and its cross-references to places in the book where you’ll find more help. GLOSSARY OF USAGE. Chapter 19 gives quick advice on commonly confused and misused words. v 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page vi vi How to use this book Ways to navigate the pages 1 GUIDES AT THE TOP OF EVERY PAGE. Headers tell you what chapter or subsection you’re in, the chapter number and section letter, the name of the tab, and the page number. 2 “AT A GLANCE” BOXES. 3 BOXED TIPS THROUGHOUT THE BOOK. These boxes at the beginning of most chapters — and elsewhere in the book as well — help you check your drafts with a critical eye and revise or edit. • Tips on academic language, concepts, and style. “Talking the Talk” and “Talking about Style” boxes help you make sense of how writing works in the academic world and help you make stylistic choices for various kinds of writing — in communities, jobs, and disciplines. • Tips for multilingual writers. Advice for multilingual writers appears in a separate tabbed section and in boxes throughout the book. You can also find a list of the topics covered, including language-specific tips, at the back of the book. • Tips for considering disabilities. These boxes, which also appear throughout the book, help you make your work accessible to readers with disabilities. If you’re a writer with a disability, these boxes also point out resources and strategies you may want to use. • Tips on common assignments. Advice about dealing with the most common assignments in first-year writing — and in other disciplines — appears in boxed tips throughout the book. Many examples are hand-edited in blue, allowing you to see the error and its revision at a glance. Pointers and boldface type make examples easy to spot on the page. 4 HAND-EDITED EXAMPLES. 5 CROSS-REFERENCES TO THE WEB SITE. The Everyday Writer Web site expands the book’s coverage. The cross-references to the Web site point you to practical online resources — tutorials, interactive exercises, model papers, research and documentation help, and more. 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page vii How to use this book vii 308 Grammar 34b Adjectives and adverbs 1 2 AT A GLANCE Editing Adjectives and Adverbs • Scrutinize each adjective and adverb. Consider synonyms for each word to see whether you have chosen the best word possible. • See if a more specific noun would eliminate the need for an adjective (mansion rather than enormous house, for instance). Do the same with verbs and adverbs. • Look for places where you might make your writing more specific or vivid by adding an adjective or adverb. • Check that adjectives modify only nouns and pronouns and that adverbs modify only verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. (34b) Check especially for proper use of good and well, bad and badly, real and really. (34b and c) • Make sure all comparisons are complete. (34c) 34b Adverbs to modify verbs, adjectives, and adverbs In everyday conversation, you will often hear (and perhaps use) adjectives in place of adverbs. For example, people often say go quick instead of go quickly. When you write in standard academic English, however, use adverbs to modify verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. carefully. 䊳 You can feel the song’s meter if you listen careful. 䊳 The audience was real disappointed by the show. really ^ 4 ^ FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS 3 Using Adjectives with Plural Nouns In Spanish, Russian, and many other languages, adjectives agree in number with the nouns they modify. In English, adjectives do not change number this way: the kittens are cute (not cutes). D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Adjectives and Adverbs. 5 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page viii Preface Today, perhaps more than ever before, everyone can be a writer — every day. From contributing entries to Wikipedia to blogging, texting, and posting to YouTube and Facebook, student writers are participating widely in what philosopher Kenneth Burke calls “the conversation of humankind.” As access to new writing spaces grows, so too do the potential audiences: many writers, for example, are in daily contact with people around the world, and their work goes out to millions. In such a time, writers need to think more carefully than ever about how to craft effective messages and how best to represent themselves to others. These ever-expanding opportunities for writers, as well as the challenges that inevitably come with them, have inspired this edition of The Everyday Writer — from the focus on thinking carefully about audience and purposes for writing and on attending to the “look” of writing, to the emphasis on the ways writing works across disciplines, to the questions that new genres and forms of writing raise about citing and documenting sources and about understanding and avoiding plagiarism. What remains constant is the focus on the “everydayness” of writing and on down-to-earth, practical advice for how to write well in a multitude of situations. What also remains constant is the focus on rhetorical concerns. In a time of such challenging possibilities, taking a rhetorical perspective is particularly important. Why? Because a rhetorical perspective rejects either/or, right/wrong, black/white approaches to writing in favor of asking what choices will be most appropriate, effective, and ethical in a given writing situation. A rhetorical perspective also means paying careful attention to the purposes we want to achieve and the audiences we want to address. Writers today need to maintain such a rhetorical perspective every single day, and The Everyday Writer, Fourth Edition, provides writers with the tools for doing so. A note about MLA style As you may know, the Modern Language Association publishes two different sets of guidelines: the MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers, Sixth Edition (2003), for student writers; and the MLA Style Manual, Third Edition (2008), for scholars and professional writers. MLA has recommended that undergraduate writers continue to follow the guidelines outlined in the sixth edition of the MLA Handbook until the seventh edition is published in 2009. The Everyday Writer follows that recommendation. However, if you wish to follow the MLA Style Manual’s guidelines, you can request free copies of Documenting Sources: Supplement for Lunsford viii 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page ix Preface ix Handbooks (ISBN-10: 0-312-55455-9 or ISBN-13: 978-0-312-55455-2). Students and instructors can also download a free .pdf file of this booklet at bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter. Highlights ATTENTION TO GOOD WRITING, NOT JUST TO SURFACE CORRECTNESS. The Everyday Writer helps students understand that effective texts follow conventions that always depend on their audience, situation, and discipline. A new nationwide study that I conducted with Karen Lunsford — revisiting the original 1986 research that Bob Connors and I conducted on student writing — shows the problems U.S. college students are most likely to have in their writing today. This book’s first chapter presents a quick guide to troubleshooting the Top Twenty — with examples, explanations, and information on where to turn in the handbook for more detailed information. Additional findings from the study inform advice throughout the book. HELP FOR THE MOST COMMON WRITING PROBLEMS. As best practices for research continue to evolve, so does The Everyday Writer. In this edition, you’ll find integrated coverage of library and online research to help students find authoritative and credible information in any medium, plus advice on integrating sources, avoiding plagiarism, using social bookmarking tools for research, and citing sources in MLA, APA, Chicago, and CSE documentation styles. Visual source maps in all four documentation sections show students how to evaluate, use, and document print and online sources. UP-TO-DATE ADVICE ON RESEARCH AND DOCUMENTATION. My work on Everything’s an Argument has strengthened my belief that argument is integral to many kinds of writing, and I have expanded the coverage of critical thinking and argument in this edition and placed them in a separate tab to make the information even easier to find and use. Chapters 11–13 offer extensive advice on critical reading and analysis of both visual and verbal arguments, instruction on composing arguments, and two complete student essays. COMPREHENSIVE COVERAGE OF CRITICAL THINKING AND ARGUMENT. EXPANDED HELP FOR WRITING IN THE DISCIPLINES. Along with strategies for understanding discipline-specific assignments, vocabulary, style, and use of evidence, this edition offers more student writing samples than ever before, including research projects in MLA, APA, Chicago, and CSE styles, business documents, and sample writing from introductory humanities, social sciences, and natural sciences courses. 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page x x Preface Unique chapters on language help students think about language in context and about the consequences that language choices have on writers and readers. Boxed tips throughout the book help students communicate effectively across cultures — and use varieties of language both wisely and well. UNIQUE COVERAGE OF LANGUAGE AND STYLE. INTEGRATED EXERCISES. Exercises to help students practice writing, revising, thinking critically, and editing appear throughout the book. (An answer key appears in the Instructor’s Notes.) The Everyday Writer makes information easy to find and appealing to read. AN INVITING DESIGN. New to this edition New advice based on Andrea Lunsford’s teaching and research TALKING THE TALK Conventions • New “Talking the Talk” boxes answer real questions students ask about academic concepts. “Aren’t conventions really just rules with another name?” Not entirely. Conventions — agreed-on language practices of grammar, punctuation, and style — convey a kind of shorthand information from writer to reader. In college writing, you will want to follow the conventions of standard academic English unless you have a good reason to do otherwise. But unlike hard-and-fast rules, conventions are flexible; a convention appropriate for one time or situation may be inappropriate for another. You may even choose to ignore conventions to achieve a particular effect. (You might, for example, write a sentence fragment rather than a full sentence, such as the Not entirely at the beginning of this box.) As you become more experienced and confident in your writing, you will develop a sense of which conventions to apply in different writing situations. COMMON ASSIGNMENTS Rhetorical Analysis • New “Common Assignments” boxes provide tips for succeeding with the kinds of writing projects and assignments that research shows students today are most likely to encounter in their classes. You are almost certain to get some form of analysis assignment during your first year of college. One common variety is the rhetorical analysis assignment, which essentially answers two big questions — What is the purpose of the text you are analyzing? How is that purpose achieved? — and focuses on how the text gets its meaning across. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS OF A RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ASSIGNMENT • Identify the purpose or purposes of the text. If the text has multiple purposes, point out any conflicts. • Identify the primary audience for the text and any secondary audiences, and explore how the text meets audience expectations or needs. • Examine the author’s stance or attitude toward the topic: is it favorable, critical, suspicious, neutral, or mocking? Identify parts of the text where such attitudes are evident, and show how they work to appeal to the audience. • Explain how the text uses deliberate strategies (such as tone, word choice, sentence structure, design, special effects, choice of medium, choice of evidence, and so on) to achieve its purposes. • A new chapter on expectations for college writing helps students grapple with academic work. 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xi Preface xi • New and expanded coverage of reviewing and revising clarifies the relationship between review and revision, with advice on how to offer useful comments on peers’ writing and how to benefit from comments from both peers and instructors. 9 Reviewing and Revising a b c d 82 Reread 82 Get responses from peers 84 Consult instructor comments 88 Revise 91 Reflect 10b Writ Process COMMON ASSIGNMENTS Reflective Statements • A new section on reflecting on writing guides students in thinking back on their completed writing projects. A student reflective essay models the writing students are often asked to do for portfolio assessment. Research done for this book shows that one of the most common writing assignments in college today is a reflective statement — in the form of a letter, a memo, or a home page — that explains and analyzes the contents of a portfolio. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS OF A REFLECTIVE ASSIGNMENT • Think carefully about the overall impression you want the portfolio to create, and make sure that the tone and style of your reflective statement set the stage for the entire portfolio. • Unless otherwise instructed, include in your cover letter a description of what the portfolio contains and explain the purpose of each piece of writing you have chosen. • Reflect on the strengths and weaknesses of your writing, using specific passages from assignments in your portfolio to provide evidence for each point you make. • Reflect on the most important things you have learned about writing and about yourself as a writer. • Conclude with plans for ongoing improvement in your writing. A student’s reflective statement Here is a shortened version of the cover letter that James Kung wrote to accompany his first-year writing portfolio. Student Writer December 6, 2007 James Kung Dear Professor Ashdown: “Writing is difficult and takes a long time.” This simple yet powerful statement has been uttered so many times in our class that it has essentially become our motto. During this class, my persuasive writing skills have improved dramatically, thanks to many hours spent writing, revising, polishing, and thinking about my topic. The various drafts, revisions, and other materials in my portfolio show this improvement. 101 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xii xii Preface • Integrated coverage of writing and media helps students understand that smarter rhetorical choices produce better writing, no matter what the genre or format. Writing in U.S. Academic Genres • New coverage for multilingual writers clarifies U.S. academic writing for every student with a multilingual background. 55 Xiaoming Li, now a college English teacher, says that before she came to the United States as a graduate student, she had been a “good writer” in China — in both English and Chinese. Once in the United States, however, she struggled to grasp what her teachers expected of her college writing. While she could easily use grammar books and dictionaries, her instructors’ unstated expectations seemed to call for her to write in a way that was new to her. Of course, writing for college presents many challenges; such writing differs in many ways from high school writing as well as from personal writing like text messaging or postings to social networking sites. If you grew up speaking and writing in other languages, however, the transition to producing effective college writing can be even more complicated. Not only will you have to learn new information and new ways of thinking and arguing, but you also have to do it in a language that may not come naturally to you — especially in unfamiliar rhetorical situations. 55a U.S. academic writing The expectations for college writing are often taken for granted by instructors. To complicate the matter further, there is no single “correct” style of communication in any country, including the United States. Effective oral styles differ from effective written styles, and what is considered good writing in one field of study is not necessarily appropriate in another. Even the variety of English often referred to as “standard” covers a wide range of styles (see Chapter 21). In spite of this wide variation, several features are often associated with U.S. academic English: • conventional grammar, spelling, punctuation, and mechanics • organization that links ideas explicitly 493 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xiii Preface xiii A new Top Twenty based on new research 3 Incomplete or missing documentation • The 2006 Lunsford and Lunsford study’s results show an increasing emphasis on researched and documented writing in college — a major change from the kinds of assignments given in the past. The new Top Twenty reflects this change as well as students’ evolving use of technology (including spell checkers). 4 Top Twenty 1 A quick guide Top Twenty 5 allergy 䊳 The child suffered from a severe allegory to peanuts. ^ Allegory is a spell checker’s replacement for a misspelling of allergy. among U.S. college students today, listed here in order of frequency. A of 䊳 The panel discussed the ethical implications on the situation. brief explanation and examples of each error are provided in the following sections, and each error pattern is cross-referenced to other ^ places in this book where you can find more detailed information Wrong-word and errors can involve using a word with the wrong shade of additional examples. meaning, using a word with a completely wrong meaning, or using a wrong preposition or another wrong word in an idiom. Selecting a D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For advice on learning from your own most common writing problems, go to Writing Resources and click on Taking a Writing word from a thesaurus without knowing its meaning or allowing a Inventory. spell checker to correct spelling automatically can lead to wrong-word errors, so use these tools with care. If you have trouble with prepositions and idioms, memorize the standard usage. (See Chapter 22 on word choice and spelling and Chapter 59 on prepositions and idioms.) AT A GLANCE The Top Twenty 1. Wrong word 2 2. Missing comma after an introductory element Missing comma after an introductory element , , 3. Incomplete or missing documentation 䊳 Determined to get the job done we worked all weekend. 4. Vague pronoun reference 䊳 Although the study was flawed^ the results may still be useful. 5. Spelling (including homonyms) 6. Mechanical error with a quotation 7. Unnecessary comma 8. Unnecessary or missing capitalization 9. Missing word 10. Faulty sentence structure ^ Readers usually need a small pause — signaled by a comma — between an introductory word, phrase, or clause and the main part of the sentence. Use a comma after every introductory element. When the introductory element is very short, you don‘t always need a comma, but including it is never wrong. (See 38a.) 11. Missing comma with a nonrestrictive element 3 12. Unnecessary shift in verb tense 䊳 14. Unnecessary or missing apostrophe (including its/it’s) 16. Comma splice 䊳 ^ According to one source, James Joyce wrote two of the five best novels (Modern Library 100 Best). 17. Lack of pronoun-antecedent agreement of all time. 18. Poorly integrated quotation ^ 19. Unnecessary or missing hyphen The source mentioned should be indentified (this online source has no page numbers). 20. Sentence fragment 1 Satrapi says, “When we’re afraid, we lose all sense of analysis and reflection.’’ The page number of the print source for this quotation must be included. 15. Fused (run-on) sentence Wrong word precedence 䊳 Incomplete or missing documentation (263).” 13. Missing comma in a compound sentence Cite each source you refer to in the text, following the guidelines of the documentation style you are using. (The preceding examples follow MLA style — see Chapters 48–51; for other styles, see Chapters 52–54.) Omitting documentation can result in charges of plagiarism (see Chapter 17). Religious texts, for them, take prescience over other kinds of sources. ^ Prescience means “foresight,” and precedence means “priority.” SOURCE MAP: Using Sources Effectively MCCARTHY BUILDING PUTS LANDMARK LAW ON A COLLISION COURSE WITH DEVELOPERS 1 1 • Advice from the new research study is integrated throughout the text, giving students the benefit of the most up-to-date information available on how college writing works. 2 2 3 3 4 4 How appropriate is the source for the argument you are making? Read carefully, and be sure you understand exactly how the material in the source relates to your point. (See Chapter 12.) Student Amanda Rinder, in doing research for a paper about Chicago architecture (see p. 469), discovered a major debate between the city’s preservationists and developers, which she wanted to document. This Chicago Tribune article by architecture critic Paul Gapp provided the information she needed. How does each source contribute to your argument? Identifying the purpose of each source can help keep your research relevant and ensure that you fill in any gaps (and avoid repetition). Amanda used both paraphrases (highlighted) and quotations (underlined) from the Gapp article to present a clear overview of the issues of architectural preservation and to offer strong support for the preservation of the McCarthy Building. She used images, including this one of the McCarthy Building, as examples of the architectural style that preservationists wanted to save. She also did background research on Paul Gapp and learned, from his obituary in the New York Times, that he had won a Pulitzer Prize for his architecture criticism. She did not ultimately include information from the obituary in her paper, but it helped her be certain of Gapp’s credibility on her topic. Do your sources include fair representations of opposing views? Consider what else you need to include to present a complete picture of the argument. Amanda paraphrased Gapp’s balanced discussion of the pros and cons of protecting the McCarthy Building. She also found additional sources on both sides of the issue. How convincing will your sources be to your audience? Make sure that the evidence you choose will seem credible and logical (13e–f). Amanda identified Gapp as “a Chicago Tribune architecture critic” to show him as an authority on her topic. Her other sources included books by architects and historians and other articles on architecture from major newspapers in Chicago and elsewhere. TALKING THE TALK 1 [FINAL EDITION, C] Chicago Tribune (pre-1997 Fulltext) - Chicago, Ill. Author: Paul Gapp, Architecture critic Date: Apr 20, 1986 Section: ARTS Text Word Count: 1142 Document Text 4 Chicago's commitment to saving municipally designated landmarks is undergoing one of its most crucial tests. If a little gem of a structure called the McCarthy Building is torn down, the city's landmarks protection ordinance will be devalued almost to the vanishing point. Au gu Pa Ar ul G ch ap ite p, ctu 64 re , Jo Cr ur itic na W list, on D Pu ies; litz er st 11 stands at the northeast corner Dearborn Washington Streets, just , 19 forgotten thatThe the McCarthy state building, designed by Helmut Jahn,ofwas alwaysand intended to be the 92 from Daley Civic Center. Its dignified facades are defaced by so many ugly signs anchor of theacross redevelopment area. that most pedestrians see the building only as a rude smear on the streetscape. Yet the Bycouncil McCarthy's esthetic and value is undeniable, is why the city Municipal planners finally decided tohistorical spare seven historic buildings which in the renewal district HE gavelandmarks, the building landmark status ingave the first place. by making them and the city council the designation to: RB Pa ER Ju ul Ga TM ly Now,designed however,ina 1872 real estate development group wants to demolish the ChMcCarthy 30 pp to makeUS -- The McCarthy, by John M. Van Osdel. ica at , the CH room for an office tower. Because the building stands on municipally controlled go Nourban Pu AM . He P renewal land, hasSt., both the leverage to save it and a reason for itsrthwe litze -- The Chicago Theater, 175theN.city State a Rapp & Rapp-designed masterpiece built in dieallowing st r Pr destruction. This landmark scenario is unprecedented and could M ize of stickier. M hardlydbe 1921. em wi r. lun Co Ga orial nn g ca lum pp ing lat appeared nc in the Ho The McCarthy andjust several important buildings first bu wathreatened er, Osdel -- The Page Brothers Building, northother of the Chicagoold Theater, another er an Van s bo sp archit s he co ita d feafacade--the early 1970s whenand thenotable city began drafting Looped urban renewal plan. building constructed in 1872 chiefly for itsthe fullNorth cast iron north rn In 1973,mp joi (Ohio l in ectur ne in lic Pr ito Ch e theexample private Landmarks Preservation Council (LPC) asked such d Th ) Di r fo turesto spare Cl only surviving of its kind here. ate izeofficials ica critic sp ev d by for r urba edito e Ch atc ela go buildings, but the city brushed aside the plea. . He for M em r. In ica h aft nd cri n aff in r. Ga in ph tic built -- The handsome Harris and Selwyn Theaters at 180 and 190 N. St., de Dearborn wa The ys ism air 1972 go Da er gr 1928 scrib pp s 64 Ch em Under version of the North urban program announced 1978, chrenewal 1922 on designs by an H. early Kenneth Franzheim and C.Loop Howard Crane. in s. He in, M ily adua . He a, ed 's int ye icago 19 towabe r. Ch arm Ne tin his more than 50 buildings--including all nine movie extant --were ars as ere ." then 79 icahouses offic s ap Gapp ws, g fro bega st . old Tribu go His "th in in 159 a seven-block area. e wh -- The Oliverdestroyed Building at N. Dearborn St., a good-looking Chicagostyle office m n po joi 's so wr las arc e sa an ne int ne ere Oh his ca d liv , die id. cia iting t of hit structure designed by Holabird & Roche in 1907. ed d Th he io ree l an s on the ectur ed d on arc wo Un Among structures marked for demolition were seven--including in d pothearcMcCarthy grea e gr--already hit e Ch rk ive r in jou ec ed rsi ica listed on the federal of Historic Places. Preservation in litica ew t -- The Delaware Building, 36 W. National RandolphRegister St., an 1872 structure by Wheelock andhitofficials tur ty rnali ec Am e cri go Tr as a ou in tur eri Washington warned that their destruction mean a loss of federal money, t Thomas. Its Italianate style and corner location give it acould strong resemblance to thel lifrenewal tic ibu repor 1950 sm wi e. e he can of his in ne ter lpe cit McCarthy. and City Hall began reshuffling its plans. 19 as , ed . Six th Th d rea ies lov 74 as ye e , an sistanitoria ars e de a cit for d wo The tangle of events thatBrothers followedbuildings into the 1980s found the city repeatedly When the Chicago Theater and Page were almost destroyed by their changing itsrs gr y of Chica t l wr asp gr n the city ite Indeed, thatprevious sort of restoration was originally envisioned by realbe estate developers when go minda about what should and should not saved from destruction. owners couple of years ago, it was a reminder that landmark designation is no r the eat , Pu the city--acting underof itspreservation. renewal powers--tentatively in 1983 to potential accept a bid of of saving a role elega which guarantee It can only delaydecided demolition while ways litze $12.6 million for theare fullexplored. blockthis of(The land on which the McCarthy stands. The lengthy McCarthy of nce he r While was Chicago going on,and demolition the renewal area began with the building the Page,inrescued after litigation, areSherman House bu ild and once and two other buildings were have been linked to glass enclosed shopping arcade restoration which fell to make way foranew the new State of Illinois Center. Most people have nowold well on hotel, the way totoextended lives under ownership and an ambitious ing grea connecting program). Dearborn and State Streets. s in t Late last summer, the the citypresent was notified of a change ofsituation, mind by the development And so however, we consider McCarthy Building which might be described group consisting of the Levy Organization, JMB Realty and Metropolitan Structures. The as an impasse on its way to becoming a brouhaha. group said it wanted to tear down the buildings and construct an office high-rise in their place. The city council gave the McCarthy landmark status because it is a rare and distinguished example of work by Van Osdel, who was Chicago's first professional architect. Created in To make upanfor the McCarthy's the after developers offered to contribute $2 million to Italianate style justloss, a year the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, the McCarthy's the city for carefully development of a masonry "Theater and Row" project in reflect the North tied to existing detailed iron facades the Loop, same look Van Osdel selected theatrical venues. when he designed the third Palmer House hotel a few years later. 2 When the LPC it might such deal, it was attacked the City Club of would If thesaid garish signsnot thatoppose degrade theaMcCarthy were simplybyremoved, that alone Chicago and restoration authority Vinci, appealing among others. offerCentury is reveal the building as aJohn stunningly relic"The from developer's Chicago's 19th tantamountrenaissance to a civic shakedown," saidthe Larry Horist, the City Club's era. Replacing littleP.five-story building's lostexecutive cornice and restoring its director. Vinci the present LPC's vacillation "destroys its integrity." basesaid would no technical problems. Today, City Hall is trapped and squirming in the middle. If it stands fast in favor of the McCarthy, it risks queering the land sale in an important urban renewal area whose upgrading has already been plagued by political, legal, tax assessment and other problems. If it rescinds the McCarthy's landmark status and allows demolition, the city will have gone on record as favoring the allure of the dollar over Chicago's architectural heritage. (Moving the McCarthy to another site, which has also been suggested, would amount to the same kind of surrender and set a dangerous precedent). 3 It's a tough decision, and the politicians will be faulted in either case. Yet anyone who cares for the irreplaceable historical and cultural fabric of the city can hardly take anything but the long view: The McCarthy and most of Chicago's other official architecture landmarks were in place long before any of today's politicians and real estate developers (or you and I) were born. Is it too much to hope that they will continue to grace our ravaged but still great city long after all of us are gone? Spell Checkers and Wrong-Word Errors 178 “Can I trust spell checkers to correct a word I’ve spelled wrong?” In a word, no. The spell checker may suggest bizarre substitutes for many proper names and specialized terms (even when you spell them correctly) and for certain typographical errors, thus introducing wrong words into your paper if you accept its suggestions automatically. For example, a student who had typed fantic instead of frantic found that the spell checker’s first choice was to substitute fanatic — a replacement that made no sense. Wrong-word errors are the most common surface error in college writing today (see Chapter 1), and spell checkers are partly to blame. So be careful not to take a spell checker’s recommendation without paying careful attention to the replacement word. 179 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xiv xiv Preface A more visual approach to writing, research, and documentation Analyze your purpose 5d Writ Process 47 • What do members of your audience already know about your topic? Do you need to provide background information or to define terms? • What sorts of information and evidence will your audience 48 find Writ Process Writing situations most compelling — quotations from experts? personal experiences? photographs? diagrams or charts? • What kinds of appeals will be most effective in reaching this audience?suggest? If you wish to redefine the assignment, check with the person who assigned it. • What response(s) do you want to evoke? • What are the specific requirements of the assignment? As you think about your readers, consider how you want them to respond to both the words and the images you use. Be particularly aware that images will 5e Analyze your position as a writer or speaker. often evoke very strong responses in your audiThinking about your own position as a writer and your attitudes toence, so choose them ward your topic and your audience — your rhetorical stance — is imporwith special care. What tant to making sure you communicate well. audience(s), for exam• What is your overall attitude toward the topic? How strong are ple, can you imagine for your opinions? this image from an early • What social, political, religious, personal, or other influences acRamones performance? count for your attitude? How do you think different audiences would • What do you know about the topic? What questions do you have respond to this image? about it? • What interests you most and least about the topic? Why? • What seems important — or unimportant — about the topic? 5d Analyze the purpose of your writing. • What preconceptions, if any, do you have about it? • What is the primary purpose of the piece of writing — to explain?•toWhat do you expect to conclude about the topic? persuade? to entertain? some other purpose? If you aren’t sure, think • How will you establish your credibility (ethos); that is, how will you about what you want to accomplish, or talk with the person who gaveshow that you are knowledgeable and trustworthy? you the assignment. Are there secondary purposes to keep in mind? Images you choose to include in your writing can also help estab• What purpose did the person who gave you the assignment want lish your credibility. Remember, however, that images always have a to achieve — to make sure you have understood something? to of view or perspective. The postcard seen here, for example, illuspoint evaluate your thinking and writing abilities? to test your ability to two physical perspectives — a photograph of a highway bridge trates think outside the box? and a road map showing its location — as well as a time perspective — • What are your own purposes in this piece of writing — to respond from 1927, when the bridge was new. Images also often reveal attitudes; to a question? to learn about a topic? to communicate your ideas? this one, with its caption “America’s Greatest Highway Bridge,” sees the to express feelings? How can you achieve these goals? • What, exactly, does the assignment ask you to do? Look for words such as analyze, classify, compare, define, describe, explain, prove, and survey. Remember that these words may differ in meaning from discipline to discipline. • What information do you need to gather to complete the task? • Should you limit –– or broaden –– the topic to make it more compelling to you and your audience? What problems does the assignment 5e • Ample photographs and illustrations show as well as tell students how to make better choices throughout the writing process. SOURCE MAP: Works from Web sites, MLA style You may need to browse other parts of a site to find some elements, and some sites omit elements. Find as much information as you can. • Color-coded source maps in the Research tab, the MLA tab, and the APA, Chicago, and CSE tab make it easier than ever to see what’s needed to evaluate, use, and document sources well. 1 Author of the work. End with a period. If no author is given, begin with the title. 2 Title of the work. Enclose the title and any subtitle in quotation marks. 3 Title of the Web site. Underline the title. Where there is no clear title, use a label such as Home page. 4 Date of publication or latest update. Give the most recent date. 5 Name of the sponsoring organization. The sponsor’s name often appears at the bottom of the home page. 6 Access information. Give the most recent date you accessed the work. Give the complete URL, enclosed in angle brackets. If the URL is very long and complicated, give the URL of the site’s search page instead. If the URL will not fit on one line, break it only after a slash, and do not add a hyphen. 1 6 3 2 4 For a work from a Web site, use the following format: Last name, First name. “Title of work.” Title of Web site. Date of publication or latest update. Sponsoring organization. Date accessed <Web address>. A citation for the work on p. 399 would look like this: AUTHOR TITLE OF WORK TITLE OF SITE Tønnesson, Øyvind. “Mahatma Gandhi, the Missing Laureate.” Nobelprize.org. PUBL. DATE SITE SPONSOR ACCESS DATE AND URL 1 Dec. 1999. Nobel Foundation. 5 Mar. 2008 <http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/ peace/articles/gandhi/index.html>. For more on using MLA style to cite Web documents, see pp. 392–402. (For guidelines and models for using APA style, see pp. 435–45; for Chicago style, see pp. 460–66; for CSE style, see pp. 482–85.) 5 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xv Preface xv • Fresh, fun new visual “game plans” help students take a hands-on approach to planning and developing their writing. A complete list of game plan pages appears in a directory at the back of the book. Critical Reading • An updated design makes the look more student-friendly than ever. 11 All readers build worlds in their minds made of words and visuals. Think of a time when you were reading or looking at images and suddenly realized that you were not absorbing information but just staring at a jumble of marks on a page or a screen. Only when you went back and concentrated on meaning were you really reading. 11a Think critically about written texts. Reading critically means asking questions about what you are reading. A critical reader does not simply accept what the author says but analyzes why the text is convincing (or not convincing). Writer Anatole Broyard once cautioned readers about the perils of “just walking through” a text. A good reader, he suggested, doesn’t just walk but “stomps around” in a text — highlighting passages, scribbling in the margins, jotting questions and comments. Preview and annotation The article “Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood,” by Louise Story, appeared on pp. A1 and A18 of the New York Times on September 20, 2005. The first portion of the article appears on pp. 106–07, with a student’s preview notes and annotations. D MLA Documentation bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To read the article in its entirety, go to Writing Resources and click on Argument Resources/Critical Reading. Summary Here is how the same student summarized Louise Story’s article. A group of women at Ivy League schools told a reporter who surveyed and interviewed them that they planned to stop working or cut back on work when they had children. The reporter suggests that the women’s responses are evidence of a trend and of “changing attitudes.” 105 Careful citation shows your reader that you’ve done your homework. . . . It amounts to laying your intellectual cards on the table. — JACK LYNCH 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xvi xvi Preface A wide array of ancillaries NEW MEDIA RESOURCES CompClass with The Everyday Writer e-Book bedfordstmartins.com/compclass Online Student Center for The Everyday Writer (free book-specific resources and premium content, including The Everyday Writer e-Book) bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter Exercise Central 3.0 bedfordstmartins.com/exercisecentral Electronic Diagnostic Tests bedfordstmartins.com/lunsforddiagnostics Just-in-Time Teaching bedfordstmartins.com/justintime Exercise Central to Go for Handbooks by Andrea A. Lunsford CD-ROM ISBN-10: 0-312-43114-7 ISBN-13: 978-0-312-43114-3 PRINT RESOURCES Instructor’s Notes, Andrea Lunsford, Alyssa O’Brien, and Lisa Dresdner (includes answer key for exercises in The Everyday Writer with Exercises) ISBN-10: 0-312-48861-0 ISBN-13: 978-0-312-48861-1 Exercises to Accompany THE EVERYDAY WRITER, Fourth Edition, Lex Runciman, Carolyn Lengel, and Kate Silverstein ISBN-10: 0-312-38653-2 ISBN-13: 978-0-312-38653-5 Answer Key to Exercises to Accompany THE EVERYDAY WRITER, Fourth Edition ISBN-10: 0-312-48858-0 ISBN-13: 978-0-312-48858-1 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xvii Preface xvii OTHER COMPOSITION RESOURCES FROM BEDFORD/ST. MARTIN’S ix visual exercises CD-ROM ISBN-10: 0-312-41562-1 ISBN-13: 978-0-312-41562-4 i-cite visualizing sources CD-ROM ISBN-10: 0-312-44179-7 ISBN-13: 978-0-312-44179-1 i-claim visualizing argument CD-ROM ISBN-10: 0-312-44015-4 ISBN-13: 978-0-312-44015-2 COURSE MANAGEMENT CONTENT Resources developed for The Everyday Writer are available for use in course management systems. 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xviii xviii Preface Acknowledgments I owe an ongoing debt of gratitude to Carolyn Lengel, my editor for this and two other books as well: her patience, fortitude, and sheer hard work, her astute judgment, her wellspring of good ideas, her meticulous attention to detail, and her great good humor are gifts that just keep on giving. I am also very fortunate to have had the advice and help of Fran Weinberg, who has made invaluable and ongoing contributions to this text; to Stephanie Butler, for her outstanding work on the ancillaries to this text, including the Instructor’s Notes; to Wendy Annibell for her meticulous copyediting; to Mara Weible for huge contributions to our online handbook tutorials; to Sarah Ferguson for her work on the book’s new media components; to Anne Carter and Anna Palchik for their brilliant contributions to art and design; to Donna Dennison for cover art; to Eric Larsen for his imaginative illustrations; and to Harold Chester, project editor par excellence. Many thanks, also, to the unfailingly generous and supportive members of the Bedford/St. Martin’s team: Erica Appel, Kristin Bowen, Nick Carbone, Joan Feinberg, Jimmy Fleming, Joe Ford, Karen Henry, Nancy Perry, Katie Schooling, Karen Soeltz, John Swanson, Shuli Traub, Kim White, and Denise Wydra. I am especially indebted to Paul Kei Matsuda and Christine Tardy for their extraordinarily helpful additions to the Multilingual Writer sections of this book; to Lisa Ede for her ongoing support and advice, particularly about writing across the disciplines; to Lisa Dresdner at Norwalk Community College for her fine work on updating the Instructors’ Notes; and to Dànielle Nicole DeVoss at Michigan State University for her help in making this a more visual book. I have also benefited greatly from the excellent advice of some very special colleagues: Colin Gifford Brooke, Syracuse University; Barbara Fister, Gustavus Adolphus College; Patrick Clauss, Butler University; Arnold Zwicky, Stanford University; Beverly Moss, Ohio State University; and Marilyn Moller. I owe special thanks to the group of student writers whose work appears in and enriches this book and its companion Web site: Michelle Abbott, Carina Abernathy, Milena Ateyea, Julie Baird, Jennifer Bernal, Valerie Bredin, Taurean Brown, Tessa Cabello, Ben Canning, Leah Clendening, David Craig, Kelly Darr, Allyson Goldberg, Tara Gupta, Joanna Hays, Dana Hornbeak, Ajani Husbands, Bory Kea, James Kung, Emily Lesk, Nastassia Lopez, Heather Mackintosh-Sims, Merlla McLaughlin, Jenny Ming, Laura Montgomery, Elva Negrete, Katie Paarlberg, Shannan Palma, Teal Pfeifer, Amrit K. Rao, Heather Ricker, Amanda Rinder, Dawn Rodney, Rudy Rubio, Melissa Schraeder, Bonnie Sillay, Jessica Thrower, and Dennis Tyler. Once again, I have been guided by a group of hard-working and meticulous reviewers, including Thomas Amorose, Seattle Pacific 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page xix Preface xix University; Heidi R. Anderson, University of Minnesota Duluth; Dominic Ashby, West Virginia University; Susan Bailor, Front Range Community College; Peggy Beck, Kent State University Stark; Judy Bennett, University of Louisiana at Monroe; Mona Diane Benton, Eastern Michigan University; Monica Bosson, City College of San Francisco; Domenic Bruni, University of Wisconsin Oshkosh; Jo Anne R. Bryant, Troy University; Jennifer Castillo, Eastern Michigan University; Christian M. Clark, Community College of Southern Nevada; Barbara Cole, The State University of New York at Buffalo; Teresa Cordova, California State University, Sacramento; Margaret Cotter-Lynch, Southeastern Oklahoma State University; Cynthia Cox, Belmont University; Charles DiDomenico, Middlesex County College; Sid Dobrin, University of Florida; Doug Downs, Utah Valley State College; Lisa Dresdner, Norwalk Community College; Anne-Marie Drew, United States Naval Academy; Violet A. Dutcher, Eastern Mennonite University; Heidi Estrem, Boise State University; Diana Fernandez, Florida International University; Patricia Rowe Geenen, Alverno College; Holly Geil, Kent State University; Nathan Gorelick, State University of New York at Buffalo; Andrew Green, University of Miami; Eric Gunnink, University of St. Francis; Kim Gunter, The University of North Carolina at Pembroke; Scot Hanson, Texas Christian University; Christopher S. Harris, University of Louisiana at Monroe; Kimberly Harrison, Florida International University–Biscayne Bay; Anneliese Homan, State Fair Community College; Cynthia Lewiecki-Wilson, Miami University of Ohio; Jon A. Leydens, Colorado School of Mines; Meredith A. Love-Steinmetz, Francis Marion University; Suzanne Blum Malley, Columbia College Chicago; Patricia Mandia, Kent State University Stark; Jessica Matthews, George Mason University; Cynthia Maxson, Rio Salado College; Kathy Mendt, Front Range Community College; Kerri Mitchell, Front Range Community College; Winifred Morgan, Edgewood College; Roxanne Munch, Joliet Junior College; Kim Murray, University of Southern Florida; Beverly A. Neiderman, Kent State University; Jerry L. Nelson, Lincoln University; Troy D. Nordman, Butler Community College; Shelley Harper Palmer, Rowan-Cabarrus Community College; Cherri Porter, American River College and Woodland Community College; Carolee Ritter, Southeast Community College; Deidre Farrington Schoolcraft, Pikes Peak Community College; Shawna Shapiro, University of Washington; Mary Beth Simmons, Villanova University; Kimberly Skeen, College of Southern Idaho; Wayne Stein, University of Central Oklahoma; Jane VanderVelde, University of Kansas; Megan Ward, Miami University of Ohio; Elizabeth Wardle, University of Dayton; Peggy Woods, University of Massachusetts, Amherst; Susan Dara Wright, William Paterson University; and Sarah L. Yoder, Texas Christian University. 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:55 PM Page xx xx Preface For offering advice and perspectives from disciplines other than composition, I would like to extend particular thanks to the following reviewers: Carole Anderson, The Ohio State University; Robert Bulman, St. Mary’s College of California; Patrick J. Castle, United States Air Force Academy; Rosemary Cunningham, Agnes Scott College; Bridget Drinka, University of Texas at San Antonio; John Hnida, Peru State College; Kareem J. Johnson, Temple University; Steve Naragon, Manchester College; Tracy Ann Robinson, Oregon State University; and Timothy J. Shannon, Gettysburg College. Finally, and always, I continue to learn—from my students, who serve as the major inspiration for just about everything I do; from the very best sisters, nieces, and nephews anyone has ever had; and from my spectacular great-nieces, Audrey and Lila: this book is for all of you. –Andrea A. Lunsford About College Writing About College Writing A mind that is stretched by a new experience can never go back to its old dimensions. — OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES About College Writing 1–42 About College Writing 1 The Top Twenty: A Quick Guide to Troubleshooting Your Writing 3 2 Expectations for College Writing a b c d 3 Oral and Multimedia Assignments a Class discussions 19 b Effective presentations 19 24 STUDENT POWERPOINT PRESENTATION c Online presentations 26 4 Design for College Writing a b c d e 12 Meeting expectations 12 Academic writing 13 Academic reading 14 Electronic communication in academic life Visual structure 27 Appropriate formats 29 Effective headings 32 Effective visuals 33 Sample documents 38 27 18 16 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 3 The Top Twenty: A Quick Guide to Troubleshooting Your Writing 1 Surface errors — grammar, punctuation, word choice, and other smallscale matters — don’t always disturb readers. Whether your instructor marks an error in any particular assignment will depend on personal judgments about how serious and distracting it is and about what you should be focusing on in the draft. In addition, not all surface errors are consistently viewed as errors: some of the patterns identified in the research for this book are considered errors by some instructors but as stylistic options by others. Such differing opinions don’t mean that there is no such thing as correctness in writing — only that correctness always depends on some context, on whether the choices a writer makes seem appropriate to readers. Research for this book reveals a number of changes that have occurred in student writing over the past twenty-plus years. First, writing assignments in first-year composition classes now focus less on personal narrative and much more on research essays and argument. As a result, students are now writing longer essays than they did twenty years ago and working much more often with sources, both print and nonprint. Thus it’s no surprise that students today are struggling with the conventions for using and citing sources, a problem that did not show up in most earlier studies of student writing. What else has changed? For starters, wrong-word errors are by far the most common errors among first-year student writers today. Twenty years ago, spelling errors were most common by a factor of more than three to one. The use of spell checkers has reduced the number of spelling errors in student writing — but spell checkers’ suggestions may also be responsible for some (or many) of the wrong words students are using. All writers want to be considered competent and careful. You know that your readers judge you by your control of the conventions you have agreed to use, even if the conventions change from time to time. To help you in producing writing that is conventionally correct, you should become familiar with the twenty most common error patterns 3 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 4 4 Top Twenty 1 A quick guide among U.S. college students today, listed here in order of frequency. A brief explanation and examples of each error are provided in the following sections, and each error pattern is cross-referenced to other places in this book where you can find more detailed information and additional examples. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For advice on learning from your own most common writing problems, go to Writing Resources and click on Taking a Writing Inventory. AT A GLANCE The Top Twenty 1. Wrong word 2. Missing comma after an introductory element 3. Incomplete or missing documentation 4. Vague pronoun reference 5. Spelling (including homonyms) 6. Mechanical error with a quotation 7. Unnecessary comma 8. Unnecessary or missing capitalization 9. Missing word 10. Faulty sentence structure 11. Missing comma with a nonrestrictive element 12. Unnecessary shift in verb tense 13. Missing comma in a compound sentence 14. Unnecessary or missing apostrophe (including its/it’s) 15. Fused (run-on) sentence 16. Comma splice 17. Lack of pronoun-antecedent agreement 18. Poorly integrated quotation 19. Unnecessary or missing hyphen 20. Sentence fragment 1 Wrong word precedence 䊳 Religious texts, for them, take prescience over other kinds of sources. ^ Prescience means “foresight,” and precedence means “priority.” 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 5 Incomplete or missing documentation 3 5 Top Twenty allergy 䊳 The child suffered from a severe allegory to peanuts. ^ Allegory is a spell checker’s replacement for a misspelling of allergy. 䊳 of The panel discussed the ethical implications on the situation. ^ Wrong-word errors can involve using a word with the wrong shade of meaning, using a word with a completely wrong meaning, or using a wrong preposition or another wrong word in an idiom. Selecting a word from a thesaurus without knowing its meaning or allowing a spell checker to correct spelling automatically can lead to wrong-word errors, so use these tools with care. If you have trouble with prepositions and idioms, memorize the standard usage. (See Chapter 22 on word choice and spelling and Chapter 59 on prepositions and idioms.) 2 䊳 䊳 Missing comma after an introductory element , Determined to get the job done we worked all weekend. Although the study was flawed^, the results may still be useful. ^ Readers usually need a small pause — signaled by a comma — between an introductory word, phrase, or clause and the main part of the sentence. Use a comma after every introductory element. When the introductory element is very short, you don‘t always need a comma, but including it is never wrong. (See 38a.) 3 Incomplete or missing documentation (263). 䊳 Satrapi says, “When we’re afraid, we lose all sense of analysis and reflection.’’ The page number of the print source for this quotation must be included. 䊳 ^ According to one source, James Joyce wrote two of the five best novels (Modern Library 100 Best). of all time. ^ The source mentioned should be indentified (this online source has no page numbers). Cite each source you refer to in the text, following the guidelines of the documentation style you are using. (The preceding examples follow MLA style — see Chapters 48–51; for other styles, see Chapters 52–54.) Omitting documentation can result in charges of plagiarism (see Chapter 17). 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 6 6 Top Twenty 4 6 A quick guide Vague pronoun reference POSSIBLE REFERENCE TO MORE THAN ONE WORD 䊳 Transmitting radio signals by satellite is a way of overcoming the the airwaves problem of scarce airwaves and limiting how they are used. ^ In the original sentence, they could refer to the signals or to the airwaves. REFERENCE IMPLIED BUT NOT STATED a policy 䊳 The company prohibited smoking, which many employees resented. ^ What does which refer to? The editing clarifies what employees resented. A pronoun should refer clearly to the word or words it replaces (called the antecedent) elsewhere in the sentence or in a previous sentence. If more than one word could be the antecedent, or if no specific antecedent is present, edit to make the meaning clear. (See Chapter 33.) 5 Spelling (including homonyms) Reagan 䊳 Ronald Regan won the election in a landslide. ^ Everywhere 䊳 Every where we went, we saw crowds of tourists. ^ The most common misspellings today are those that spell checkers cannot identify. The categories that spell checkers are most likely to miss include homonyms, compound words incorrectly spelled as separate words, and proper nouns, particularly names. After you run the spell checker, proofread carefully for errors such as these — and be sure to run the spell checker to catch other kinds of spelling mistakes. (See 22e.) 6 䊳 Mechanical error with a quotation , “I grew up the victim of a disconcerting confusion ”, Rodriguez says (249). ^ The comma should be placed inside the quotation marks. Follow conventions when using quotation marks with commas (38h), colons (43d), and other punctuation (42f). Always use quotation marks 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 7 Missing word 9 Top Twenty in pairs, and follow the guidelines of your documentation style for block quotations (42b). Use quotation marks for titles of short works (42c), but use italics for titles of long works (46a). 7 Unnecessary comma BEFORE CONJUNCTIONS IN COMPOUND CONSTRUCTIONS THAT ARE NOT COMPOUND SENTENCES 䊳 This conclusion applies to the United States, and to the rest of the world. No comma is needed before and because it is joining two phrases that modify the same verb, applies. WITH RESTRICTIVE ELEMENTS 䊳 Many parents, of gifted children, do not want them to skip a grade. No comma is needed to set off the restrictive phrase of gifted children, which is necessary to indicate which parents the sentence is talking about. Do not use commas to set off restrictive elements that are necessary to the meaning of the words they modify. Do not use a comma before a coordinating conjunction (and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet) when the conjunction does not join parts of a compound sentence. Do not use a comma before the first or after the last item in a series, between a subject and verb, between a verb and its object or complement, or between a preposition and its object. (See 38j.) 8 Unnecessary or missing capitalization traditional 䊳 medicines ephedra Some Traditional Chinese Medicines containing Ephedra remain legal. ^ ^ ^ Capitalize proper nouns and proper adjectives, the first words of sentences, and important words in titles, along with certain words indicating directions and family relationships. Do not capitalize most other words. When in doubt, check a dictionary. (See Chapter 44.) 9 Missing word against 䊳 The site foreman discriminated women and promoted men with less experience. ^ 7 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 8 8 Top Twenty 12 A quick guide Proofread carefully for omitted words, including prepositions (59a), parts of two-part verbs (58b), and correlative conjunctions (30h). Be particularly careful not to omit words from quotations. 10 Faulty sentence structure High 䊳 The information which high school athletes are presented with ^ they mainly includes information on what credits needed to graduate, ^ to try colleges and thinking about the college which athletes are trying to play for, how to ^ and apply. ^ A sentence that starts out with one kind of structure and then changes to another kind can confuse readers. Make sure that each sentence contains a subject and a verb (30b), that subjects and predicates make sense together (25b), and that comparisons have clear meanings (25e). When you join elements (such as subjects or verb phrases) with a coordinating conjunction, make sure that the elements have parallel structures (see Chapter 26). 11 䊳 Missing comma with a nonrestrictive element , , Marina who was the president of the club was first to speak. ^ ^ The clause who was the president of the club does not affect the basic meaning of the sentence: Marina was first to speak. A nonrestrictive element gives information not essential to the basic meaning of the sentence. Use commas to set off a nonrestrictive element (38c). 12 Unnecessary shift in verb tense slipped 䊳 fell Priya was watching the great blue heron. Then she slips and falls into the swamp. ^ ^ 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 9 Fused (run-on) sentence 15 Top Twenty Verbs that shift from one tense to another with no clear reason can confuse readers (27a). 13 䊳 Missing comma in a compound sentence , Meredith waited for Samir and her sister grew impatient. ^ Without the comma, a reader may think at first that Meredith waited for both Samir and her sister. A compound sentence consists of two or more parts that could each stand alone as a sentence. When the parts are joined by a coordinating conjunction, use a comma before the conjunction to indicate a pause between the two thoughts (38b). 14 Unnecessary or missing apostrophe (including its/it’s) child’s 䊳 Overambitious parents can be very harmful to a childs well-being. 䊳 The car is lying on it’s side in the ditch. Its a white 2004 Passat. its It’s ^ ^ ^ To make a noun possessive, add either an apostrophe and an -s (Ed’s book) or an apostrophe alone (the boys’ gym). Do not use an apostrophe in the possessive pronouns ours, yours, and hers. Use its to mean belonging to it; use it’s only when you mean it is or it has. (See Chapter 41.) 15 Fused (run-on) sentence but , 䊳 Klee’s paintings seem simple they are very sophisticated. 䊳 She doubted the value of meditation she decided to try it once. Although she ^ ^ , ^ A fused sentence (also called a run-on) joins clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence with no punctuation or words to link them. Fused sentences must either be divided into separate sentences or joined by adding words or punctuation. (See Chapter 36.) 9 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 10 10 Top Twenty 16 18 A quick guide Comma splice for 䊳 I was strongly attracted to her, she was beautiful and funny. that 䊳 ^ We hated the meat loaf, the cafeteria served it every Friday. ^ A comma splice occurs when only a comma separates clauses that could each stand alone as a sentence. To correct a comma splice, you can insert a semicolon or period, connect the clauses with a word such as and or because, or restructure the sentence. (See Chapter 36.) 17 Lack of pronoun-antecedent agreement All students 䊳 ^ 䊳 uniforms. Every student must provide their own uniform. its ^ Each of the puppies thrived in their new home. ^ Pronouns must agree with their antecedents in gender (male or female) and in number (singular or plural). Many indefinite pronouns, such as everyone and each, are always singular. When a singular antecedent can refer to a man or a woman, either rewrite the sentence to make the antecedent plural or to eliminate the pronoun, or use his or her, he or she, and so on. When antecedents are joined by or or nor, the pronoun must agree with the closer antecedent. A collective noun such as team can be either singular or plural, depending on whether the members are seen as a group or as individuals. (See 33f.) 18 Poorly integrated quotation showed how color affects taste: 䊳 A 1970s study of what makes food appetizing “Once it became apparent ^ that the steak was actually blue and the fries were green, some people became ill” (Schlosser 565). According to Lars Eighner, 䊳 “Dumpster diving has serious drawbacks as a way of life” (Eighner 383). ^ Finding edible food is especially tricky. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 11 Sentence fragment 20 Top Twenty Quotations should fit smoothly into the surrounding sentence structure. They should be linked clearly to the writing around them (usually with a signal phrase) rather than dropped abruptly into the writing. (See 17b.) 19 䊳 Unnecessary or missing hyphen - This paper looks at fictional and real life examples. ^ A compound adjective modifying a noun that follows it requires a hyphen. 䊳 The buyers want to fix-up the house and resell it. A two-word verb should not be hyphenated. A compound adjective that appears before a noun needs a hyphen. However, be careful not to hypenate two-word verbs or word groups that serve as subject complements. (See Chapter 47.) 20 Sentence fragment NO SUBJECT 䊳 Marie Antoinette spent huge sums of money on herself and her favorites. Her extravagance And helped bring on the French Revolution. ^ NO COMPLETE VERB 䊳 was The old aluminum boat sitting on its trailer. ^ BEGINNING WITH A SUBORDINATING WORD 䊳 , where We returned to the drugstore. Where we waited for our buddies. ^ A sentence fragment is part of a sentence that is written as if it were a complete sentence. Reading your draft out loud, backwards, sentence by sentence, will help you spot sentence fragments. (See Chapter 37.) D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For practice identifying and correcting these writing problems, click on The Top Twenty. For additional exercises, click on Exercises. 11 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 12 2 Expectations for College Writing A generation ago, many college students counted on holding one job throughout their careers and expected college to prepare them for that single job. Today’s students, however, are likely to hold a number of positions — and each new position will call for new learning. That’s why looking at your college years as simply a step you have to take on the way toward your first job is a big mistake. College must do much more than simply prepare you for that first work experience, and you may need to adjust your expectations of what college should do for you in order to understand what your instructors will expect from you. 2a Meeting expectations Your instructors — and your future colleagues and supervisors — will expect you to demonstrate your ability to think critically, to consider ethical issues, to identify as well as solve problems, to research effectively, and to work productively with people of widely different backgrounds. In each of these endeavors, writing will be of crucial importance, since writing is closely tied to thinking, to collaboration, and to communication. But if you are like most students, you may not have written anything much longer than five pages before coming to college. Perhaps you have done only minimal research. Your college classes will demand much more from you as a writer; meeting these demands will help prepare you for all the writing you will need to do in the future. TALKING THE TALK Conventions “Aren’t conventions really just rules with another name?” Not entirely. Conventions — agreed-on language practices of grammar, punctuation, and style — convey a kind of shorthand information from writer to reader. In college writing, you will want to follow the conventions of standard academic English unless you have a good reason to do otherwise. But unlike hard-and-fast rules, conventions are flexible; a convention appropriate for one time or situation may be inappropriate for another. You may even choose to ignore conventions to achieve a particular effect. (You might, for example, write a sentence fragment rather than a full sentence, such as the Not entirely at the beginning of this box.) As you become more experienced and confident in your writing, you will develop a sense of which conventions to apply in different writing situations. 12 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 13 Academic writing 2b 2b Expectations 13 Academic writing You can begin the process of learning by considering what your instructors expect you to be able to do. Of course, expectations about academic writing vary considerably from field to field (see Chapters 60–64), but becoming familiar with widespread conventions will prepare you well for most academic situations. Establishing authority In the United States, most college instructors expect student writers to begin to establish their own authority — to become constructive critics who can analyze and interpret the work of others. But what does establishing authority mean in practice? • Assume that your opinions count (as long as they are informed rather than tossed out with little thought) and that your audience expects you to present them in a well-reasoned manner. • Show your familiarity with the ideas and works of others, both from the assigned course reading and from good points your instructor and classmates have made. Being direct and clear Your instructors will most often expect you to get to the point quickly and to be direct throughout an essay or other project. Research for this book confirms that readers depend on writers to organize and present their material — using sections, paragraphs, sentences, arguments, details, and source citations — in ways that aid understanding. Good academic writing prepares readers for what is coming next, provides definitions, and includes topic sentences. (See 19f for a description of the organization that instructors often prefer in student essays.) To achieve directness in your writing, try the following strategies: • State your main point early and clearly. • Avoid overqualifying your statements. Instead of writing I think the facts reveal, come right out and say The facts reveal. • Avoid digressions. If you use an anecdote or example from personal experience, be sure it relates directly to the point you are making. • Use appropriate evidence, such as examples and concrete details, to support each point. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 14 14 Expectations 2c Expectations for college writing • Make transitions from point to point obvious and clear. The first sentence of a new paragraph should reach back to the paragraph before and then look forward to what is to come (see Chapter 8). • Follow logical organizational patterns (see Chapter 8). • Design and format the project appropriately for the audience and purpose you have in mind (see Chapter 4). • If your essay or project is longer than four or five pages, you may also want to use brief summary statements between sections, but avoid unnecessary repetition. EXERCISE 2.1: THINKING CRITICALLY How do you define good college writing? List the characteristics you come up with. Then list what you think your instructors’ expectations are for good college writing, and note how they may differ from yours. What might account for the differences — and the similarities — in the two lists? Do you need to alter your ideas about good college writing to meet your instructors’ expectations? Why, or why not? AT A GLANCE U.S. Academic Style • Consider your purpose and audience carefully, making sure that your topic is appropriate to both. (Chapter 5) • State your claim or thesis explicitly, and support it with examples, statistics, anecdotes, and authorities of various kinds. (Chapter 7) • Carefully document all of your sources. (Chapters 48–54) • Make explicit links between ideas. (Chapter 8) • Consistently use the appropriate level of formality. (Chapter 22) • Use conventional formats for academic genres. (Chapters 3–4 and 60–63) • Use conventional grammar, spelling, punctuation, and mechanics. (Chapters 30–47) • Use an easy-to-read type size and typeface, conventional margins, and double spacing. (Chapter 4) 2c Academic reading Your instructors expect you to be an active reader — to offer informed opinions on what readings say. Stating your opinion doesn’t require you to 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 15 Academic reading 2c Expectations 15 be negative or combative, just engaged with the class and the text. The following strategies will help you read actively: • Note the name of the author and the date and place of publication; these items can give you clues to the writer’s purpose and intended audience. • Understand the overall content of a piece well enough to summarize it. • Formulate critical questions about the text, and bring these questions up in class. • Understand each sentence, and make direct connections between sentences and paragraphs. Keep track of repeated themes or images, and figure out how they contribute to the entire piece. • Note the author’s attitude toward and assumptions about the topic. Then you can speculate on how the attitude and assumptions may have affected the author’s thinking. • Distinguish between the author’s stance and the author’s reporting on the stances of others. Watch for key phrases an author uses to signal an opposing argument: while some have argued that, in the past, and so on. • Go beyond content to notice organizational patterns, use of sources, and choice of words. • Consider annotating your readings, especially if they are very important. Make notes in the margins that record your questions, challenges, or counter-examples to the text. EXERCISE 2.2 One of the best ways to improve your writing process is to analyze it from time to time in a writing log. Answer the following questions about your writing: • How do you typically go about preparing for a writing assignment? • When and where do your best ideas often come to you? • Where do you usually write? Are you usually alone and in a quiet place, or is there music, conversation, or other sound in the background? • What materials do you use? What do you find most and least helpful about your materials? • What audience do most assignments ask you to address? How much thought do you typically give to your audience? • What strategies do you typically use to explore a topic? 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 16 16 Expectations 2d Expectations for college writing • How do you usually write a first draft? Do you finish in one sitting, or do you prefer to work in sections? • How do you typically revise, and what do you pay most attention to as you revise? • If you get stuck while writing, what do you usually do to get moving again? • What is most effective about your writing and your writing process? • What about your writing and your writing process worries you? What specific steps can you take to address these worries? • What is your favorite part of your writing process — and why? You can also use the log to jot down your thoughts about a writing project while you are working on it and after you have completed it. Studying your notes on your writing process will help you identify patterns of strength and weakness in your writing and allow you to see how your writing process changes over time and for different writing assignments or situations. 2d Electronic communication in academic life Your instructors will probably expect you to communicate both in and out of class using a variety of media. You may be asked to post your work to course management systems, lists, blogs, and wikis, and you may respond to the work of others on such sites. In addition, you will probably write email and text messages to your instructors and other students. Many people communicate electronically so quickly and so often that their writing tends to be very informal or to take shortcuts. As always, remember to consider your audience and your situation: you can write informally in a quick text message to a classmate, but when contacting your instructor, you should stick to the conventions of formal academic English unless invited to do otherwise. Email • Use a subject line that states your purpose accurately and clearly. • Take care not to offend or irritate your reader. Tone is difficult to convey in online messages: what you intend as a joke may come across as an insult. Avoid writing messages in ALL CAPS. • Be pertinent. Instructors generally expect short and to-the-point messages. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 17 Electronic communication in academic life 2d Expectations 17 • Use a more formal tone along with a formal greeting and closing when posting a message to an instructor (Dear Ms. Aulie rather than Hi). • Except in very informal situations, use the conventions of academic English. Proofread email messages just as you would other writing. • Consider your email messages permanent and always findable, even if you delete them. Many people have been embarrassed (or worse, prosecuted) because of email trails. • Conclude your message with your name and email address. • Make sure that the username on the email account you use for contacting instructors and other authority figures does not present a poor impression. If your username is Party2Nite, consider changing it, or use your school email account for academic and professional communication. Lists and discussion forums Discussion forums are used in many college courses as a way for students to communicate with one another and the instructor about the course. Academic lists and forums are an extension of class discussions; remember to treat all participants with respect. • Avoid unnecessary criticism of spelling or other errors. If a message is unclear, ask politely for a clarification. If you disagree with an assertion of fact, offer what you believe to be the correct information, but don’t insult the writer. • If you think you’ve been insulted (flamed), give the writer the benefit of the doubt. Replying with patience establishes your credibility and helps you seem mature and fair. • Reply off-list to the sender of a message if the whole group does not need to read your reply. • Keep in mind that many discussion forums and listservs are archived and that more people than you think may be reading your messages. Your postings create an impression of you, so make it a good one. Web logs (blogs) and social networking spaces Blogs and social networking sites such as Facebook allow users to say almost anything about themselves and to comment freely on the postings of others. Such online spaces can also be useful for academic discussion or for posting writing for others’ comments. • These sites may feel private, but most aren’t — don’t post anything you don’t want everyone (including instructors and potential employers) to see. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 18 18 3 Media Oral and multimedia assignments • To comment, follow the same conventions you would for commenting on a discussion-list posting. It’s wise to become familiar with the conversation before you add a comment of your own and to avoid commenting on entries that are several days old. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For more information on effective electronic communication, go to Writing Resources and click on Online Writing. EXERCISE 2.3 Choose several email messages you have sent recently — at least one of which is more formal than the others. Take a critical look at the messages you have chosen, noting differences and similarities and thinking about how easily readers could follow them. Bring your findings to class for discussion. 3 Oral and Multimedia Assignments When the Gallup Poll reports on what U.S. citizens say they fear most, the findings are always the same: public speaking is apparently more frightening to us than almost anything else, even scarier than an attack from outer space. This chapter aims to allay any such fears you may have by offering guidelines that can help you prepare and deliver successful presentations. AT A GLANCE Preparing for Presentations • How effectively do you contribute to class discussions? (3a) • How does your presentation fulfill your purpose, including the goals of the assignment? (3b) • How do the introduction and conclusion hold the audience’s attention? (3b) • Is your organizational structure crystal clear? How do you guide listeners? Are your transitions and signpost language explicit? Do you effectively repeat key words or ideas? (3b) • Have you practiced your presentation and gotten response to it? (3b) • Have you marked the text you are using for pauses and emphasis? (3b) • Have you prepared all necessary visuals, including presentation slides and other multimedia? Are they large enough to be seen? Would other visuals be helpful? (3b) 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 19 Effective presentations 3a 3b Media Class discussions The contributions you make to class discussions are mini-presentations. Make sure your contributions are effective by following these guidelines: • Be prepared. • Listen purposefully, following the flow of conversation and perhaps taking notes. • Make sure your comments are relevant. Ask a key question, take the conversation in a new direction, or summarize or analyze what others have said. • Be specific in your comments: The passage in the middle of page 42 backs up what you’re saying is more useful than I agree. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Speaking Up in Class Speaking up in class is viewed as inappropriate or even rude in some cultures. In the United States, however, doing so is expected and encouraged. Some instructors even assign credit for such class participation. 3b Effective presentations More and more students report that formal presentations are becoming part of their work both in and out of class. As you begin to plan for such a presentation, you should consider a number of issues. Considering your task, purpose, and audience Think about how much time you have to prepare; where the presentation will take place; how long the presentation should run; whether you will use written-out text or note cards; whether visual aids, handouts, or other accompanying materials are necessary; and what equipment you will need. If you are making a group presentation, you will need time to divide duties and to practice with your classmates. As with any writing assignment, consider the purpose of your presentation. Are you to lead a discussion? teach a lesson? give a report? engage a group in an activity? Also consider your audience. What do they know about your topic, what opinions do they already hold about it, and what do they need to know to follow your presentation and perhaps accept your point of view? 19 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 20 20 Media 3b Oral and multimedia assignments CONSIDERING DISABILITIES Accessible Presentations Do all you can to make your presentations accessible. • Do not rely on color or visuals alone to get across information — some individuals may be unable to pick up such cues. • If you use video, provide captions to explain any sounds that won’t be audible to some audience members. Making your introduction and conclusion memorable Listeners tend to remember beginnings and endings most readily, so try to make these sections memorable. Consider, for example, using a startling statement, opinion, or question; a vivid anecdote; or a powerful quotation. Using explicit structure and signpost language Organize your presentation clearly and carefully, and give an overview of the main points at the outset. (You may want to recall these points toward the end of the talk.) Then, throughout your presentation, call attention to a new point by pausing before it and by using signpost language as an explicit transition: The second crisis point in the breakup of the Soviet Union occurred shortly after the first is more explicit than Another thing went wrong. (For a list of transitions, see 8e.) Repeated key words and ideas work as signposts, too. Turning writing into a script for presentation If you will be using a full script in your presentation, double- or triplespace it, and use fairly large print so that it will be easy for you to see. Try to end each page with the end of a sentence so that you won’t have to pause while you turn a page. You may prefer to work from a detailed topic outline or from note cards. In any case, be sure to mark the places where you want to pause and to highlight the words you want to emphasize. To help listeners follow you, shorten long, complicated sentences, and use action verbs and concrete nouns. The first example that follows is from an essay that the writer expects the audience to read. The second example contains the same information, but its writer plans to deliver it orally. Note how this second version uses explicit structure, signpost language, and repetition to make it easy to follow by ear. Note also how the student writer has rewritten complex sentences, marked his text for emphasis and pauses, and asked questions to involve the audience. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 21 Effective presentations 3b Media TEXT FROM A WRITTEN ESSAY The Simpson family has occasionally been described as a “nuclear” family, which obviously has a double meaning: first, the family consists of two parents and three children, and, second, Homer works at a nuclear power plant with very relaxed safety codes. The overused label dysfunctional, when applied to the Simpsons, suddenly takes on new meaning. Every episode seems to include a scene in which son Bart is being choked by his father; the baby is being neglected; or Homer, transfixed by the television screen, is sitting in a drunken stupor. The comedy in these scenes comes from the exaggeration of commonplace household events (although some talk shows and news programs would have us believe that these exaggerations are not confined to the madcap world of cartoons). TEXT REVISED FOR ORAL PRESENTATION What does it mean to pick an overused label and to describe the Simpsons as a nuclear family? Clearly, a double meaning is at work. First, the Simpsons fit the dictionary meaning--a family unit consisting of two parents and some children. The second meaning, however, packs more of a punch. You see, Homer works at a nuclear power plant [pause here] with VERY relaxed safety codes! Besides nuclear, another overused family label describes the Simpsons. Did everyone guess the label is dysfunctional? And like nuclear, when it comes to the Simpsons, dysfunctional takes on a whole new meaning. Remember the scenes when Bart is choked by his father? How about the many times the baby is neglected? Or the classic view--Homer, transfixed by the TV screen, sitting in a drunken stupor! My point here is that the comedy in these scenes often comes from double meanings--and from a lot of exaggeration of everyday household events. Speaking from notes Here are tips for speaking from notes rather than from a full script: • In general, use one note card for each point in your presentation. • Number the cards in case they get scrambled. • On each card, start with the major point you want to make, in large bold text. Include subpoints in a bulleted list below, printed large enough for you to see easily. • Include signpost language on each note, and use it to guide your listeners. 21 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 22 22 Media 3b Oral and multimedia assignments • Use color or brackets to mark material that you can skip if you run out of time. The following note card for an introduction reminds the speaker to emphasize her title and her three points. She has highlighted signpost language and the card’s number. NOTE CARD FOR AN ORAL PRESENTATION [1] Title: The Rise of the Graphic Novel Graphic novels are everywhere — but where do they come from? • First, from “funnies” in early American newspapers • Second, from comics, esp. great-adventure comic books • Finally, from focus on images and visuals throughout society Integrating visuals Visual information displayed on PowerPoint slides, posters, or other media during an oral presentation can add interest, clarify points, keep the speaker on track, and help members of the audience who learn better by listening and looking. For any visual information you display, remember to follow basic design principles (see Chapter 4), avoiding clutter and making information as legible as possible. In addition, be sure that all the information you show is clear, well organized, and relevant to your presentation. The following tips will ensure that your visuals work for rather than against your presentation. DISPLAYING WRITTEN INFORMATION • Ensure that your audience can read any written information you display with your presentation. Choose background and type colors that contrast well for easy reading. A poster heading should be at least 2 inches high; for text on a PowerPoint slide, use 44- to 50point type for headings, and 30- to 34-point type for subheads. • Use bulleted lists, not paragraphs, to guide your audience through your main points. Less is more when it comes to displaying writing. USING POWERPOINT SLIDES • Don’t put too much information on one slide. Use no more than five bullet points (or no more than fifty words) — and don’t simply read the bullet points. Instead, say something that will enhance the material on the slide. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 23 Effective presentations 3b Media • Use light backgrounds in a darkened room, and dark backgrounds in a lighted one. • If you include audio or video clips, make sure they are audible. GIVING POSTER PRESENTATIONS • Include important text and at least one striking image, table, or figure. • Near the bottom of the poster, ask a provocative question that hints at your conclusion. • Include your name and other identifying or contact information. USING HANDOUTS • Use handouts for text too extensive to be presented during your talk. • Unless you want the audience to look at handouts while you are speaking, distribute them at the end of your presentation. Practicing your presentation Prepare a draft of your presentation far enough in advance to allow for several run-throughs. Some speakers record their rehearsals and then revise based on the taped performance. Others practice in front of a mirror or in front of colleagues or friends, who can comment on content and style. Make sure you will be heard clearly. If you are soft-spoken, concentrate on projecting your voice; if your voice tends to rise when you’re in the spotlight, practice lowering the pitch. If you speak rapidly, practice slowing down. It’s usually best to avoid sarcasm in favor of a tone that conveys interest in your topic and listeners. Timing your run-throughs will tell you whether you need to cut (or expand) material to make the presentation an appropriate length. Making your presentation To calm your nerves and get off to a good start, know your material thoroughly and use the following strategies to good advantage before, during, and after your presentation: • Visualize your presentation with the aim of feeling comfortable during it. • Consider doing some deep-breathing exercises before the presentation, and concentrate on relaxing; avoid too much caffeine. • Pause before you begin, concentrating on your opening lines. • If possible, stand up. Most speakers make a stronger impression standing rather than sitting. • Face your audience at all times, and make eye contact as much as possible. 23 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 24 24 Media 3b Oral and multimedia assignments • Allow time for the audience to respond and ask questions. • Thank your audience at the end of your presentation. SLIDES AND SCRIPT FROM A STUDENT’S POWERPOINT PRESENTATION Following is a portion of a PowerPoint presentation prepared by student Jennifer Bernal in response to an assignment to analyze a graphic novel. The excerpts from her script show highlights that cue slides or remind her what to point out. Note that she cites each source on the slides; her list of sources appears on her final slide, not shown here. Student Writer Jennifer Bernal [slide 1] Hello, I’m Jennifer Bernal. And I’ve been thinking about the voice of the child narrator in the graphic novel Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi, an autobiographical narrative of a young girl’s coming of age in Iran during the Islamic revolution. My research questions seemed fitting for a child: what? how? why? What is the “child’s voice“? How is it achieved? Why is it effective? The child’s voice in this book is characterized by internal conflict: the character sometimes sounds like a child and sometimes like an adult. She truly is a child on the threshold of adulthood. I’m going to show how Satrapi expresses the duality of this child’s voice, not only through content but also through her visual style. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 25 Effective presentations 3b Media [slide 2] The main character, Marjane, faces a constant conflict between childhood and adulthood. But the struggle takes place not only between the child and the adults in her society but also between the child and the adult within Marjane herself. For example, Marjane is exposed to many ideas and experiences as she tries to understand the world around her. Here [first image] we see her suprising an adult by discussing Marx. But we also see her being a kid. Sometimes, like all children, she is unthinkingly cruel: here [second image] we see her upsetting another little girl with the horrifying (and, as it turns out, incorrect) “truth” about her father’s absence. [slide 3] In her review of Persepolis for the Village Voice, Joy Press says that “Satrapi’s supernaive style . . . persuasively communicates confusion and horror through the eyes of a precocious preteen.” It seems to me that this simple visual style is achieved through repetition and filtering. Let’s take a look at this. [point to slide] First, there’s repetition of elements. We often see the same images being used over and over. Sometimes [point to first image] the repetition suggests the sameness imposed by the repressive government. At other times similar images are repeated throughout the book for emphasis. For example [point to examples], on several occasions we see her raising her finger and speaking directly to the reader to make an emphatic point. The repetition throughout Persepolis makes it look and feel more like a children’s book. . . . 25 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:04 PM Page 26 26 Media D 3c Oral and multimedia assignments bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For other examples of effective presentations, click on Student Writing Models. EXERCISE 3.1 Attend a lecture or presentation on your campus, and analyze its effectiveness. How does the speaker capture and hold your interest? What signpost language and other guides to listening can you detect? How well are visuals integrated into the presentation? How do the speaker’s tone of voice, dress, and eye contact affect your understanding and appreciation (or lack of it)? What is most memorable about the presentation, and why? Bring your analysis to class, and report your findings. 3c Online presentations You may have the opportunity to make a presentation online by speaking into a camera that captures your presentation and relays it, via the Internet, to viewers anywhere in the world. Most strategies for online presentations are the same as for other multimedia presentations, but keep these special considerations in mind: • Practice extensively, since viewers and listeners expect online presentations to be polished and accurately timed. Be especially certain that you can immediately access everything you need online. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 27 Visual structure 4a Design • Speak clearly and enunciate your words carefully; it is often difficult to hear what people are saying online. • Remember to look into the camera. This allows your audience eye contact with you, whether you can see them or not. • Assume that your microphone is always live, so don’t say anything that you don’t want your audience to hear. EXERCISE 3.2: THINKING CRITICALLY Study the text of an oral or multimedia presentation you’ve prepared or given. Using the advice in this chapter, see how well your presentation appeals to your audience. Look in particular at how well you catch and hold their attention. How effective is your use of signpost language or other structures that help guide your listeners? How helpful are the visuals (PowerPoint slides, posters) in conveying your message? What would you do to improve this presentation? Design for College Writing 4 Because visual and design elements such as headings, lists, fonts, images, and graphics can help us get and keep a reader’s attention, they bring a whole new dimension to writing — what some refer to as visual rhetoric. This chapter will help you design your documents and use visual elements effectively. 4a Visual structure Effective writers consider the visual structure of any text they create and guide readers by making design decisions that are easy on the eyes and easy to understand. Print and electronic options One of your first document design decisions will be choosing between print delivery and electronic delivery. In general, print documents are easily portable and relatively fast to produce. In addition, the tools for producing print texts are highly developed and stable. Electronic documents, on the other hand, can include sound, animation, and video; updates are easy to make; distribution is fast and efficient; and feedback can be swift. In many writing situations, the assignment will tell you whether to create a print or electronic text. Whether you are working to produce a document to be read in print or on a screen, however, you should rely on some basic design principles. 27 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 28 28 Design 4a Design for college writing Design principles Most design experts begin with several very simple principles that guide the design of all texts. These principles are illustrated in the documents shown on pp. 28–30. (For more on the design of nonprint documents, see Chapter 3.) • Contrast. The contrast in a design attracts and guides readers around the document. You may achieve contrast through color, icons, boldface or large type, white space (areas without type or graphics), and so on. Begin with a focal point — the dominant visual or words on the page or screen — and structure the flow of all your other information from this point. • Proximity. Whether they are text or visuals, parts of a document that are topically related should be physically close (proximate to one another). • Repetition. Readers are guided in large part by the repetition of key words or design elements. You can take advantage of this principle by using color, type style, and other visual elements consistently throughout the document. • Alignment. This principle refers to how visuals and text on a page are lined up, both horizontally and vertically. The headline, title, or banner on a document, for example, should be carefully aligned horizontally so that the reader’s eye is drawn easily along one line from left to right. Vertical alignment is equally important. In general, you can choose to align things with the left side, the right side, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention site uses contrasting colors effectively by placing white type against a dark blue background and dark type against lighter-colored backgrounds. The site also demonstrates proximity, placing each image above its label and supporting text. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 29 Appropriate formats 4b Design The U.S. Postal Service site repeats the red and blue horizontals from the home page, shown here, on many other screens. The site also makes the content’s alignment clear by placing information in boxes under three major headings. or the center of a page or screen. If you begin with left alignment, stick with it. The result will be a cleaner and more organized look. • Overall impression. Aim for a design that creates the appropriate overall impression or mood for your document. For an academic essay, you will probably make conservative choices that strike a serious scholarly note. In a newsletter for a campus group, you might choose bright colors and arresting images. 4b Appropriate formats Because writers have so many design possibilities to choose from, it’s important to spend some time thinking about the most appropriate format for a document. Although the following basic formatting guidelines often apply, remember that print documents, Web pages, multimedia presentations, videos, and other genres all have their own formatting conventions. Margins and white space The margins and other areas of white space in a print or electronic document guide readers around the page. Since the eye takes in only so 29 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 30 30 Design 4b Design for college writing A BROCHURE USING WHITE SPACE EFFECTIVELY The inviting white space on the cover of this brochure sets off the title dramatically. On interior pages, white space sets off the images, marks section breaks, and frames the text for a clean, readable look. much data in one movement, very long lines can be hard to read. Set margins so that the average line includes about twelve words (or sixtyfive characters). Use white space around graphics, headings, or lists to make them stand out. Color Your use of color should relate to the purpose(s) of your document and its intended audience. As you design documents, keep in mind that some colors (red, for example) can evoke powerful responses, so take care that the colors you use match the message you want to send and the mood you want to create. Here are some other tips for using color: 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 31 Appropriate formats 4b Design • Use color to draw attention to elements you want to emphasize: headings and subheadings, bullets, text boxes, parts of charts or graphs, and other visuals. • Be consistent in your use of color; use the same color for all main headings, for example. • For most documents, keep the number of colors fairly small; too many colors can create a jumbled or confused look. In addition, avoid colors that clash or that are hard on the eyes (certain shades of yellow, for example). Check to make sure that all color visuals and text are legible. • Remember that when colors are printed or projected, they may not look the same as they do on your computer screen. • Look for examples of effective use of color. Find color combinations that you think look especially good — and then try them out. Certain color combinations clash and are hard to read. Other combinations are easier on the eyes. CONSIDERING DISABILITIES Color for Contrast Remember that not everyone will see color as you do. Some individuals don’t perceive color at all. When putting colors next to one another, then, try to use those that reside on opposite sides of the color spectrum, such as purple and yellow, in order to achieve high contrast. Doing so will allow readers to see the contrast between, if not the nuances of, colors. Paper The quality of the paper and the readability of the type affect the overall look and feel of print documents. Although inexpensive paper is fine for your earlier drafts, use 8 12 0 3 110 good-quality white paper for your final drafts. For résumés, you may wish to use parchment or cream-colored paper. For brochures and posters, colored paper may be most appropriate. Try to use the best-quality printer available to you for your final product. — Pagination Your instructor may ask you to follow a particular format (see Chapters 48–54 for format preferences in well-known documentation styles); if 31 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 32 32 Design 4c Design for college writing not, beginning with the first page of text, place your last name and the page number in the upper-right-hand corner of the page. Type Computers allow writers to choose among a great variety of type sizes and typefaces, or fonts. For most college writing to be printed or read on a screen, 10- to 12-point type sizes are best. A serif font (as used in the main text of this book) is generally easier to read than a sans serif font. And although unusual fonts might seem attractive at first glance, readers may find such fonts distracting and hard to read over long stretches of material. Remember that typefaces help you create the tone of a document, so consider your audience and purpose when selecting type. Different fonts convey different feelings. Different fonts convey different feelings. DIFFERENT FONTS CONVEY DIFFERENT FEELINGS. Different fonts convey different feelings. Most important, be consistent in the size and style of type you choose. Unless you are striving for some special effect, shifting sizes and fonts can give an appearance of disorderliness. Spacing Final drafts for most print documents in college should be doublespaced, with the first line of paragraphs indented one-half inch or five spaces. Other documents, however, may call for different spacing. Letters, memos, lab reports, and Web texts, for example, are usually single-spaced, with no paragraph indentation; instead, single-spaced documents usually add extra space between paragraphs to make the text easier to read. Other kinds of documents, such as flyers and newsletters, may call for multiple columns of text. Consult a style guide (such as the MLA Handbook), or ask your instructor about appropriate spacing. 4c Effective headings In longer documents, headings call attention to the organization of the text and thus aid comprehension. Some kinds of reports have standard headings (like Abstract or Summary), which readers expect (and writers therefore should provide). If you use headings, you need to decide on type size and style, wording, and placement. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 33 Effective visuals 4d Design Type size and style This book uses multiple levels of headings distinguished by different type sizes and fonts as well as by color. In a college paper, you will usually distinguish levels of headings using only type — for example, all capitals for the first-level headings, capitals and lowercase boldface for the second level, capitals and lowercase italics for the third level, and so on. FIRST-LEVEL HEADING Second-Level Heading Third-Level Heading On page 32, “4c Effective headings” is a first-level head; “Type size and style” above is a second-level head. Consistent headings Look for the most succinct and informative way to word your headings. Most often, state the topic in a single word, usually a noun (Toxicity); in a phrase, usually a noun phrase (Levels of Toxicity) or a gerund phrase (Measuring Toxicity); in a question that will be answered in the text (How Can Toxicity Be Measured?); or in an imperative that tells readers what steps to take (Measure the Toxicity). Whichever structure you choose, make sure you use it consistently for all headings of the same level. Remember also to position each level of heading consistently throughout your paper. 4d Effective visuals Creating a visual design is more likely than ever before to be part of your process of planning for a completed writing project. Visuals can help make a point more vividly and succinctly than words alone. In some cases, visuals may even be your primary text. Selecting visuals Consider carefully what you want visuals to do for your writing before making your selections. What will your audience want or need you to show? Try to choose visuals that will enhance your credibility, allow you to make your points more emphatically, and clarify your overall text. (See the following table for advice on which visuals are best for particular situations.) Effective visuals can come from many sources — your own drawings or photographs, charts or graphs you create on a computer, or 33 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 34 34 Design 4d Design for college writing materials created by others. If you are using a visual from another source, be sure to give appropriate credit and to get permission before using any visual that will be posted online or otherwise available to the public. Type of Visual When to Use It Use pie charts to compare parts to the whole. Pie Chart Other Hispanic 7.3% Central or South American 14.3% Cuban 4.0% Mexican 63.4% Puerto Rican 11.0% Bar Graph Use bar graphs and line graphs to compare one element with another, to compare elements over time, or to show correlations and frequency. Men Women 2.0 1.7 1.7 1.5 1.6 1.3 1.2 1.2 1.0 1.0 0.7 0.5 20-21 18-19 22-24 Age 25-29 30-34 35+ Use tables to draw attention to detailed numerical information. Table TABLE 10: Commuter Rail Schedule: Reading/ Haverhill Line, Boston 2004 Train 223 Train 227 Train 231 3:00 PM 3:38 PM 4:04 PM 4:36 PM 4:54 PM 5:31 PM 5:15 PM 5:42 PM 6:21 PM North Station Reading Haverhill Use diagrams to illustrate textual information or to point out details of objects or places described. Diagram Recognizing the message Red, White, and Everywhere Coke and American identity Early images of Americana Pioneering advertising strategies Map Percent of all residents Less than 5.0 5.0 to 9.9 10.0 to 14.9 15.0 to 19.9 20.0 or more U.S. Average = 11.5 percent AK 4.0 WA 6.5 OR 6.4 CA 31.6 MT 1.8 ID 7.4 NV 16.3 UT 7.08 AZ 22.7 ND 1.2 WY 6.1 CO 14.9 KS 5.6 OK 4.1 NM 40.7 ME 0.7 NY MA 6.3 14.6 MI RI 6.9 2.8 PA CT 8.5 2.7 NJ 12.6 IL IN OH 10.5 2.6 1.6 WV VA DE 3.7 0.6 3.9 MD 3.9 KY 0.9 NC DC 7.4 2.3 TN 1.2 AR SC 2.1 1.4 MS AL GA 0.9 1.0 3.9 LA 2.7 FL 15.5 WI 2.7 Use maps to show geographical locations and to emphasize spatial relationships. IA 2.2 NE 4.6 TX 30.2 HI 8.1 MN 1.9 SD 1.2 NH 1.6 VT 0.9 MO 1.67 (continued) 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 35 Effective visuals Type of Visual 4d Design When to Use It Cartoon Use cartoons to illustrate a point dramatically or comically. Photo Use photographs or illustrations to show particular people, places, objects, and situations described in the text or to help readers find or understand types of content. Identifying visuals in your writing Position visuals alongside or after the text that refers to them. Number your visuals (number tables separately from other visuals), and give them informative titles. In some instances, you may need to provide captions to give readers additional data such as source information. Figure 1. College Enrollment for Men and Women by Age, 2007 (in millions) Table 1. Word Choice by Race: Seesaw and Teeter-totter, Chicago, 1986 Analyzing and altering visuals Technical tools available to writers and designers today make it relatively easy to manipulate visuals. For example, the image below on the far left was circulated widely via email as a National Geographic Photo of the Year. Instead, the photograph was a collage that a digital artist had made of two separate pictures — the photo in the middle, from National Geographic, and the photo on the right, from the U.S. Air Force Web site. 35 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 36 36 Design 4d Design for college writing As you would with any source material, carefully assess any visuals you find for effectiveness, appropriateness, and validity. Here are additional tips for evaluating visuals: • Check the context in which the visual appears. Is it part of an official government, school, or library site? • If the visual is a photograph, are the date, time, place, and setting shown or explained? Is the information about the photo believable? • If the visual is a chart, graph, or diagram, are the numbers and labels explained? Are the sources of the data given? Will the visual representation help readers make sense of the information, or could it mislead them? (See 12f.) • Is biographical and contact information for the designer, artist, or photographer given? At times, you may make certain changes to visuals that you use, such as cropping an image to show the most important detail or digitally brightening a dark image. Here, for example, are separate photos of a mountaintop cabin and a composite that digitally combines the originals into a single panoramic image to convey the setting more accurately. As long as the photograph is identified as a composite, the alteration is ethical. Combining photos can sometimes be an appropriate choice. This composite photo conveys the setting more effectively than the individual images. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 37 Effective visuals 4d Design To ensure that alterations to images are ethical, follow these guidelines: • Do not attempt to mislead readers. Show things as accurately as possible. • Tell your audience what changes you have made. • Include all relevant information about the visual, including the source. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For more on effective design, go to Writing Resources and click on Design Tutorials. AT A GLANCE Using Visuals Effectively • Use visual elements for a specific purpose in your text — to illustrate something, to help prove a point, or to guide readers, for example. • Tell the audience explicitly what the visual demonstrates, especially if it presents complex information. Do not assume readers will “read” the visual the way you do; your commentary on it is important. • Number and title all visuals. Number and label tables and figures separately. • Refer to each visual before it appears. • Follow established conventions for documenting visual sources, and ask permission for use if your work will become available to the public. (17c and e) • Get responses to your visuals in an early draft. If readers can’t follow them or are distracted by them, revise accordingly. • If you crop, brighten, or otherwise alter visuals to include them in your writing, be sure to do so ethically. (4d) EXERCISE 4.1: THINKING CRITICALLY Examine a piece of writing you have done recently — an essay, a report, or a term project. First, look at the layout of the text: How visually appealing is it? Is the text easy to read? Do you use subheadings, color, or type size and font in ways that help convey your message? Do you include visuals in this piece of writing? Why, or why not? Consider how visuals (or additional visuals) could be helpful in presenting the information in the most memorable and readable way, and note any other changes that would enhance how your intended audience will perceive this piece of writing. 37 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 38 38 Design 4e 4e Design for college writing Sample documents A group of annotated documents collected from college students and others follow; these samples should help you create similar documents of your own. (For examples of academic essays, see Chapters 13 and 51–54.) D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For more sample documents, click on Student Writing Models. 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 39 Sample documents 4e Design FIRST PAGE OF A REPORT (ON THE WEB) Action-group sponsor clearly identified Logo in distinctive font Color used only in headings, visuals, and links Structure of overall report clearly presented Informative section heading appears in large type Sources clearly cited in text Visual suggests extent of problem Double spacing between paragraphs Pull-quote emphasizes possible solution 39 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 40 40 Design 4e Design for college writing NEWSLETTER Organization logo uses distinctive visual Sponsoring organization identified Question used as attention-getting title Italics signal overview of problem Text wraps around appropriate visual Double spacing between sections of text Bullets call out important statistics Visuals indicate what’s coming up inside the newsletter 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 41 Sample documents 4e Design FLYER Light background with starkly contrasting visual gets attention Central image draws attention and alludes to well-known film, The Usual Suspects Typefaces and sizes used consistently to differentiate sections of the flyer Related information grouped together for easy reading Web site address featured prominently for further information 41 02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042)_02_LUN_66490_Pt01_(003-042).qxd 11/30/11 2:05 PM Page 42 42 Design 4e Design for college writing HOME PAGE Eye-catching graphic makes attractive background Menu shows portfolio pieces Link to résumé clarifies site’s purpose Clear, simple text introduces student and her work The Writing Process The Writing Process There may be people who like various aspects of the writing process. For some, it may be the excitement of facing a blank page. (Hate them!) For others, it could be a sense of getting a sentence just right. (Jerks!) There may be those who like the revision process, who can go over what they’ve produced with a cold eye and a keen ear and feel a satisfaction in making it better. (Liars!) — RACHEL TOOR The Writing Process 5 Writing Situations The Writing Process 43 – 111 a b c d e f g 6 Exploring Ideas a b c d e f g 45 Write to connect 45 Understand rhetorical situations 46 Consider your topic and audience 46 Analyze the purpose of your writing 50 Analyze your position as a writer or speaker 50 Consider other elements of the writing context 51 A sample writing situation 54 56 Try brainstorming 56 Try freewriting or looping 56 Try drawing or making word pictures Try clustering 58 Ask questions 59 Browse sources 60 Collaborate 60 7 Planning and Drafting a b c d e f 61 Narrow your topic 62 Craft a working thesis 62 Gather information to support your thesis Organize information 65 Make a plan 68 Write out a draft 72 8 Developing Paragraphs a b c d e f 65 73 Focus on a main idea 73 Provide details 75 Use effective methods of development 77 Consider paragraph length 84 Make paragraphs flow 84 Work on opening and closing paragraphs 87 9 Reviewing and Revising a b c d 57 89 Reread 90 Get responses from peers 91 Consult instructor comments 96 Revise 99 10 Editing and Reflecting a Edit 102 103 REVISED STUDENT DRAFT (EXCERPT) b Reflect 106 108 STUDENT REFLECTIVE STATEMENT 110 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 45 Writing Situations 5 What do a magazine article on stem-cell research, a blog about homeschooling, an email to an Internet service provider about spam filtering, and an engineering report on a proposed dam site all have in common? To succeed, the writers of all four must analyze a complex situation and respond to it effectively. 5a Write to connect. If it is true that “no man [or woman!] is an island,” then it is equally true that no piece of writing is an island, isolated and alone. Instead, writing is connected to a web of other writings as a writer extends, responds to, or challenges what others say. This has always been the case, but now that messages can circle the globe in seconds, it’s especially important to remember this principle: all writing exists within a rich and broad context in which every writer says or writes something to others for a purpose. As a writer today, you need to remember several key points: • Writing can use a wide range of tools — from pencils to software and video — to convey messages. • Writing is visual as well as verbal; design elements are key to the success of many documents. • Writing is often collaborative — from planning to designing and producing the final product. • Writing increasingly involves global communication and includes multiple languages and cultures. • Writing has the potential to reach massive audiences in a very, very short time. • Writing today is increasingly public; once on the Web, it can take on a life of its own. As a result, writers need to consider their own — and others’ — privacy. 45 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 46 46 Writ Process 5b 5c Writing situations Understand rhetorical situations. A rhetorical situation is one that a writer analyzes, looking at it from all possible points of view and considering each element of the situation carefully. Of the many possible elements in a rhetorical situation, the most important include the topic and purpose; the audience being addressed; the speaker or writer; and the context, including time and space limitations, the medium and genre, tone and style, and level of language. Careful choices about all these elements are necAudience Topic (Pathos) (Logos) essary for effective communication to take place. It can be helpful to think of the rhetorical situation in visual terms. Imagine this triangular representation of the rhetorical situation as dynamic, with all the angles interacting with one other and with the context. In addition to the key elements of audience, writer, and topic, we’ve introduced three additional terms that are very helpful in thinking through a rhetorical situation: ethos, pathos, and logos. Some 2,500 years ago, Aristotle identified these terms as basic appeals any speaker or writer could use. Ethos refers to the credibility of the writer or speaker; pathos to appeals to the heart — the emotions and values of the audience; and logos to appeals to reason or logic. Writer (Ethos) EXERCISE 5.1 Think back to a recent writing assignment. What helped you finally decide to write? Once you had decided to write, what exactly did you do to get going? In a paragraph or two, describe your situation, and answer these questions. Then compare your description with those of two or three classmates. 5c Consider your topic and audience. Your topic When the topic is left open, many writers put off getting started because they can’t decide what to do. Experienced writers say that the best way to choose a topic is literally to let it choose you. Look to the topics that compel, puzzle, confuse, or pose a problem for you: these are likely to engage your interest and hence produce your best writing. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 47 Consider your topic and audience 5c Writ Process TALKING THE TALK Assignments “How do instructors come up with these assignments?” Assignments, like other kinds of writing, reflect particular rhetorical contexts that vary from instructor to instructor. Assignments also change over time. The assignment for an 1892 college writing contest was to write an essay “on coal.” Later in the twentieth century, many college writing assignments asked students to write about their own experiences; in research conducted for this textbook in the 1980s, the most common writing assignment was a personal narrative. But assignments have kept changing in response to changes in expectations for college students and in the needs of society. Competing effectively in today’s workforce calls for high-level thinking, for being able to argue convincingly, and for knowing how to do the research necessary to support a claim — so it’s no surprise that college writing courses today give students assignments that allow them to develop such skills. A 2006 study of first-year college writing in the United States found that by far the most common assignment today asks students to compose a researched argument. (See Chapters 11–13.) • What topics do you wish you knew more about? • What topics get you really engaged and fired up? • What about these topics is most confusing or infuriating or exciting to you? • Who might be interested in this topic? • What will you need to know to pursue this topic, and how will you go about finding information? On the other hand, you may be given a topic to write about within an assignment from your instructor. Your audience Every writer can benefit from thinking carefully about who the audience is, what the audience already knows or thinks, and what the audience needs and expects to find out. Even if the writing can theoretically reach people all over the world (writing on the Web, for example), focus your analysis on those you most want to reach and those who are most likely to take an interest. • In what ways are the members of your audience different from you? from one another? • What assumptions can you legitimately make about your audience? What might they value? 47 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 48 GAME PLAN Analyze the Writing Situation START START OR by picking a TOPIC. What’s my How do I FIRST CHOICE? FEEL about my TOPIC? If I’m bored with my topic, everyone else will be, too. Could I pick an even by thinking about AUDIENCE. WHO are these people anyway? What do they CARE about? HOW are they like me? HOW are they different? How can I tell them something they don’t already know? BETTER IDEA? What’s the best way to Run my favorite topic past a few other people.… REACH THEM? HEY, ______________________ What do I need to REMEMBER about my audience? could be a great topic! How will an AUDIENCE react to this topic? What’s my REASON for THINK about PURPOSE. What do I want my audience to DO? WRITING? What FORMAT will work best? Web site? Research paper? How much can I do by my DEADLINE? HOW LONG should my writing be? What TOPIC will appeal to this audience? “MY TEACHER TOLD ME TO” isn’t a good enough purpose. To achieve my goal, should I do RESEARCH? Can I make my AUDIENCE, TOPIC, and PURPOSE work together? IF NOT, START AGAIN. I KNOW MY AUDIENCE! I LIKE MY TOPIC! I HAVE A PURPOSE! I’M ON THE RIGHT TRACK! 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 49 Consider your topic and audience 5c Writ Process CONSIDERING DISABILITIES Your Whole Audience Remember that considering your whole audience means thinking about members with varying abilities and special needs. Approximately one in five Americans was living with a disability in the year 2000. All writers need to think carefully about how their words reach out and connect with such very diverse audiences. • What do members of your audience already know about your topic? Do you need to provide background information or to define terms? • What sorts of information and evidence will your audience find most compelling — quotations from experts? personal experiences? photographs? diagrams or charts? • What kinds of appeals will be most effective in reaching this audience? • What response(s) do you want to evoke? As you think about your readers, consider how you want them to respond to both the words and the images you use. Be particularly aware that images will often evoke very strong responses in your audience, so choose them with special care. What audience(s), for example, can you imagine for this image from an early Ramones performance? How do you think different audiences would respond to this image? EXERCISE 5.2 The following assignment was given to an introductory business class: “Discuss in an essay the contributions of the Apple and Microsoft companies to the personal computing industry.” What would you need to know about the assignment in order to respond successfully? Using the questions in 5c and 5d, analyze this assignment. EXERCISE 5.3 Consider a writing assignment you are currently working on. What are its purposes in terms of the assignment, the instructor, and you, the writer? 49 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 50 50 Writ Process 5e Writing situations EXERCISE 5.4 Describe one of your courses to three audiences: your best friend, your parents, and a group of high school students attending an open house at your college. Then describe the differences in content, organization, and wording that the differences in audience led you to make. 5d Analyze the purpose of your writing. • What is the primary purpose of the piece of writing — to explain? to persuade? to entertain? some other purpose? If you aren’t sure, think about what you want to accomplish, or talk with the person who gave you the assignment. Are there secondary purposes to keep in mind? • What purpose did the person who gave you the assignment want to achieve — to make sure you have understood something? to evaluate your thinking and writing abilities? to test your ability to think outside the box? • What are your own purposes in this piece of writing — to respond to a question? to learn about a topic? to communicate your ideas? to express feelings? How can you achieve these goals? • What, exactly, does the assignment ask you to do? Look for words such as analyze, classify, compare, define, describe, explain, prove, and survey. Remember that these words may differ in meaning from discipline to discipline. • What information do you need to gather to complete the task? • Should you limit –– or broaden –– the topic to make it more compelling to you and your audience? What problems does the assignment suggest? If you wish to redefine the assignment, check with the person who assigned it. • What are the specific requirements of the assignment? 5e Analyze your position as a writer or speaker. Thinking about your own position as a writer and your attitudes toward your topic and your audience — your rhetorical stance — is important to making sure you communicate well. • What is your overall attitude toward the topic? How strong are your opinions? • What social, political, religious, personal, or other influences account for your attitude? 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 51 Consider other elements of the writing context 5f Writ Process • What do you know about the topic? What questions do you have about it? • What interests you most and least about the topic? Why? • What seems important — or unimportant — about the topic? • What preconceptions, if any, do you have about it? • What do you expect to conclude about the topic? • How will you establish your credibility (ethos); that is, how will you show that you are knowledgeable and trustworthy? Images you choose to include in your writing can also help establish your credibility. Remember, however, that images always have a point of view or perspective. The postcard seen here, for example, illustrates two physical perspectives — a photograph of a highway bridge and a road map showing its location — as well as a time perspective — from 1927, when the bridge was new. Images also often reveal attitudes; this one, with its caption “America’s Greatest Highway Bridge,” sees the construction of the bridge as a triumph of modern technology. So when you choose an image, think hard about its perspective and about how well it fits in with your topic and purpose. Does the image have an attitude, and does that attitude serve the purpose of your writing? 5f Consider other elements of the writing context. As a writer, you‘ll want to consider a number of contextual elements that will help you determine the form and scope of your project. In any writing you do, be sure to make choices that suit your topic, purpose, and audience. 51 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 52 52 Writ Process 5f Writing situations Time and length • How much time do you have to complete the writing? Do you need to schedule research? Be sure to allow time for revision and editing. • How long is the finished draft of the writing supposed to be? How much space or bandwidth is available for your work? If you are writing a presentation, what time limits do you face for delivering it? Medium and genre You may be assigned — or able to choose — to work in a medium other than print, or in a genre other than a straightforward essay. • What genre, or form, of writing does your task call for — a report? a review? an essay? a poem? a letter? a poster? a brochure? a Web site? a speech? • Where and how will the writing appear — on the Internet? on a password-protected Web site? in a paper submitted to your instructor? in a spoken presentation? How will this affect the writing choices you make? • Does the genre or medium require a particular format or method of organization? (See Chapter 7.) • What design considerations should you keep in mind? Will your audience expect (or be interested in) visuals, such as illustrations, photographs, tables, or graphs? (See Chapter 4.) Language and clarity • Is the language as clear as it needs to be for the audience? If your readers can’t understand what you mean, they’re not likely to accept your points. • If you need to produce academic writing, should you use any specialized varieties of English along with standard academic English? any occupational, professional, regional, or ethnic varieties? any words from a language other than English? any dialogue? • Do the visuals and text make sense together? Tone and style • What tone do you want to achieve — humorous? serious? impassioned? ironic? • What words, sentence structures, and visuals will help you achieve this tone? 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 53 Consider other elements of the writing context 5f Writ Process • Is the tone of the writing appropriate to your audience and topic? Do the words or visuals you choose have the connotations you intend? FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Bringing In Other Languages Even when you write in English, you may want or need to include words, phrases, or whole passages in another language. If so, consider whether your readers will understand that language and whether you need to provide a translation. See 21d for more on bringing in other languages. Remember that visual elements can have as much influence on the tone of your writing as the words you choose. Visuals create associations in viewers’ minds: one reader may react much more positively than another to this WalMart logo, for example, based on experiences shopping there or views about the company’s business practices. However, writers can influence how an image is perceived by carefully analyzing their audience and choosing visuals with a tone appropriate to the point they want to make. For example, in a serious academic essay about Albert Einstein, you would probably choose the first of the images below rather than the second or third — unless you were trying to make a point about Einstein’s ability to poke fun at himself. 53 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 54 54 Writ Process 5g Writing situations EXERCISE 5.5 Use a search engine to find a Web page you haven’t visited before but that addresses a topic you know something about. Consider the following questions: What is the purpose of the Web page? Who is its intended audience? What rhetorical stance does it take? What overall impression does the page create, and how are color, visuals, and multimedia used to create that impression? 5g A sample writing situation Let’s take an example of how one writer analyzes a rhetorical situation. Emily Lesk, a student in a first-year English course, gets an assignment that asks her to “explore the ways in which one or more media have affected an aspect of American identity.” (More examples of Emily’s work appear in the following chapters.) Because Emily is interested in advertising, she plans first to investigate how advertising might help shape American identity. Deciding that such a broad topic is not manageable in the time she has available, however, she shifts her focus to advertising for one company that seems particularly “American,” Coca-Cola. Since Emily’s primary audience includes her instructor and her classmates, she needs to find ways to connect with them on an emotional as well as a logical level. She will do so, she decides, first by telling a story about being drawn into buying Coca-Cola products (even though she didn’t really like the soft drink) because of the power of the advertising. She thinks that others in her audience may have had similar experiences. Here is a portion of her story and the visual she chose to illustrate it: Even before setting foot in the Promised Land three years ago, I knew exactly where I could find the Coke T-shirt. The shop in the central block of Jerusalem’s Ben Yehuda Street did offer other shirt designs, but the one with the bright white “Drink Coca-Cola Classic” written in Hebrew cursive across the chest was what drew in most of the dollar-carrying tourists. While waiting almost twenty minutes for my shirt (depicted in Fig. 1), I watched nearly everyone ahead of me say “the Coke shirt, todah rabah [thank you very much].” At the time, I never thought it strange Fig. 1. Hebrew Coca-Cola that I wanted one, too. Yet, I had absorbed T-shirt. Personal photograph. sixteen years of Coca-Cola propaganda. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 55 A sample writing situation 5g Writ Process Thinking about how she relates to her audience brings Emily to reflect more deeply on herself as the writer: Why has she chosen this topic? What does it say about her beliefs and values? What is her attitude toward her topic and toward her audience? What does she need to do to establish her credentials to write on this topic and to this audience? Finally, Emily knows she will need to pay careful attention to the context in which she is writing: the assignment is due in two weeks, so she needs to work fast; the assignment calls for an essay written in academic English, though she plans to include some dialogue and a number of visuals to keep it lively; and since she knows she tends to sound like a know-it-all, she determines to work carefully on her tone and style. EXERCISE 5.6: THINKING CRITICALLY Reading with an Eye for Purpose and Audience Advertisements provide good examples of writing that is tailored carefully for specific audiences. Find two ads for the same product that appeal to different audiences. You might compare ads in a men’s magazine to those in a women’s magazine to see what differences there are in the messages and photography. Take a look, for example, at advertisements for various kinds of drinks: Which seem designed to appeal primarily to men and which to women? What conclusions can you draw about ways of appealing to specific audiences? Thinking about Your Own Attention to Purpose and Audience Analyze a text you have written or are working on right now. • Can you state its purpose(s) clearly and succinctly? If not, what can you do to clarify its purpose(s)? • What other purposes for this piece of writing can you imagine? How would fulfilling some other purpose change the writing? • Can you tell from reading the piece who the intended audience is? If so, what in your text clearly relates to that audience? If not, what can you add that will strengthen your appeal to this audience? • What other audiences can you imagine? How would the writing change if you were to address a different audience? How would it change if you were writing to a largely unknown audience, such as people on the Web? • Does your writing follow the conventions of standard academic English — and if not, how should you revise so that it will? Note your conclusions about purpose and audience in your own writing. 55 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 56 6 Exploring Ideas The point is so simple that we often forget it: we write best about topics we know well. So among the most important parts of the entire writing process are choosing a topic that will engage your interest, exploring that topic by surveying what you know about it, and determining what you need to find out. You can explore a topic in many ways; the goal is to find strategies that work well for you. 6a Try brainstorming. One of the best ways to begin exploring a topic is also the most familiar: talk it over with others. Consider beginning with a brainstorming session. Brainstorming means tossing out ideas — often with other people, either in person or online. You can also brainstorm by yourself. 1. Within a time limit of five or ten minutes, list every word or phrase that comes to mind about the topic. Jot down key words and phrases, not sentences. No one has to understand the list but you. Don’t worry about whether or not something will be useful — just list as much as you can in this brief span of time. 2. If little occurs to you, try coming up with thoughts about the opposite side of your topic. If you are trying, for instance, to think of reasons to reduce tuition and are coming up blank, try concentrating on reasons to increase tuition. Once you start generating ideas in one direction, you’ll find that you can usually move back to the other side fairly easily. 3. When the time is up, stop and read over the lists you have made. If anything else comes to mind, add it to your list. Then reread the list, looking for patterns of interesting ideas or one central idea. 6b Try freewriting or looping. Freewriting is a method of exploring a topic by writing about it for a period of time without stopping. 1. Write for ten minutes or so. Think about your topic, and let your mind wander; write down whatever occurs to you. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling. If you get stuck, write anything — just don’t stop. 2. When the time is up, look at what you have written. You may discover some important insights and ideas. 56 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 57 Try drawing or making word pictures 6c Writ Process If you like, you can continue the process by looping: find the central or most intriguing thought from your freewriting, and summarize it in a single sentence. Freewrite for five more minutes on the summary sentence, and then find and summarize the central thought from the second “loop.” Keep this process going until you discover a clear angle or something about the topic that you can pursue. CONSIDERING DISABILITIES Freespeaking If you are better at talking out than writing out your ideas, try freespeaking, which is basically the talking version of freewriting. Speak into a tape recorder or into a computer with voice-recognition software, and keep talking about your topic for at least seven to ten minutes. Say whatever comes to your mind — don’t stop talking. You can then listen to or read the results of your freespeaking and look for an idea to pursue at greater length. 6c Try drawing or making word pictures. If you‘re someone who prefers visual thinking, you might either create a drawing about the topic or use figurative language — such as similes and metaphors — to describe what the topic resembles. Working with pictures or verbal imagery can sometimes also help illuminate the topic or uncover some of your unconscious ideas or preconceptions about it. 1. If you like to draw, try sketching your topic. What images do you come up with? What details of the drawing attract you most? What would you most like to expand on? A student planning to write an essay on her college experience began by thinking with pencils and pen in hand. Soon she found that she had drawn a vending machine several times, with different products and different ways of inserting money to extract them (one of her drawings appears here). Her sketches led her to think about what it might mean to see an education as a product. Even abstract doodling can 57 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 58 58 Writ Process 6d Exploring ideas lead you to important insights about the topic and to focus your topic productively. 2. Look for figurative language — metaphors and similes — that your topic resembles. Try jotting down three or four possibilities, beginning with “My subject is ” or “My subject is like .” A student working on the subject of genetically modified crops came up with this: “Genetically modified foods are like empty calories: they do more harm than good.” This exercise made one thing clear to this student writer: she already had a very strong bias that she would need to watch out for while developing her topic. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Using Your Native Language to Explore Ideas For generating and exploring ideas — the work of much brainstorming, freewriting, looping, and clustering — you may be most successful at coming up with good ideas quickly and spontaneously if you work in your native language. Later in the process of writing, you can choose the best of these ideas and begin working with them in English. 6d Try clustering. Clustering is a way of generating ideas using a visual scheme or chart. It is especially helpful for understanding the relationships among the parts of a broad topic and for developing subtopics. If you have a software program for clustering, put it to use. If not, follow these steps: 1. Write down your topic in the middle of a blank piece of paper or screen and circle it. 2. In a ring around the topic circle, write what you see as the main parts of the topic. Circle each part, and then draw a line from it to the topic. 3. Think of more ideas, examples, facts, or other details relating to each main part. Write each of these near the appropriate part, circle each one, and draw a line from it to the part. 4. Repeat this process with each new circle until you can’t think of any more details. Some trails may lead to dead ends, but you will still have many useful connections among ideas. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 59 6e Ask questions Writ Process Here is an example of the clustering Emily Lesk did for her essay about Coca-Cola and American identity: Morocco commercial, 2000 My experience in Israel Coca-Cola advertisements (commercials) set abroad are popular with Americans Familiarity of Coca-Cola in international contexts Allows Americans to identify with "home" Available almost anywhere in America Appeals to "American dream" ideal of lighthearted prosperity Corporate power of the Coca-Cola Company COCA-COLA AS AMERICAN ICON Brand recognition: If you're an American, you KNOW what Coke is Red-and-white logo Digitally animated polar bears 6e "I'd like to buy the world a Coke" The Coca-Cola image Innovative advertising campaign Santa Claus campaign and the medium of magazines Original use of media to build association between Coke, the ad campaigns, and the specific medium Early technologies in TV commercials Ask questions. Another basic strategy for exploring a topic and generating ideas is simply to ask and answer questions. Here are two widely used sets of questions to get you started. Questions to describe a topic Originally developed by Aristotle, the following questions can help you explore a topic by carefully and systematically describing it: 1. What is it? What are its characteristics, dimensions, features, and parts? What does it look like? What do other senses — taste, smell, touch, sound — tell you about it? 59 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 60 60 Writ Process 6g Exploring ideas 2. What caused it? What changes occurred to create your topic? How is it changing? How will it change? 3. What is it like or unlike? What features make your topic different from others? What comparisons can you make about your topic? 4. What larger system is your topic a part of? How does your topic fit into this system? 5. What do people say about it? What reactions does your topic arouse? What about the topic causes those reactions? Questions to explain a topic The well-known questions who, what, when, where, why, and how, widely used by news reporters, are especially helpful for explaining a topic. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Who is doing it? What is at issue? When does it begin and end? Where is it taking place? Why does it occur? How is it done? EXERCISE 6.1 Choose a topic that interests you, and explore it by using two of the strategies described in Chapter 6. When you have generated some material, you might try comparing your results with those of other members of the class to see how effective or helpful each strategy was. If you have trouble choosing a topic, use one of the preliminary working theses in Exercise 7.1. 6f Browse sources. Look around in your library or on the Internet for a topic you want to learn more about. Many search engines have directories organized by topic that you can browse for ideas and sources. Some advanced searches allow you to search for only visual images, current events, and government sites and to otherwise specify your results. D 6g bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For more on exploring topics, go to Writing Resources and click on Links to find useful directories online. Collaborate. The texts you write are shaped in part by conversations with others. You might also consider using online tools that facilitate collaborative writing, such as wikis, to gather ideas and generate drafts. Writers often work together to come up with ideas, to respond to one another’s drafts, 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 61 Planning and drafting 7 Writ Process or even to coauthor something. Here are some strategies for working with others: 1. Establish a regular meeting time and exchange contact information. 2. Establish ground rules for the group. Be sure every member has an equal opportunity — and responsibility — to contribute. 3. With final deadlines in mind, set an agenda for each group meeting. 4. Listen carefully to what each person says. If disagreements arise, try paraphrasing to see if everyone is hearing the same thing. 5. Use group meetings to work together on particularly difficult problems. If an assignment is complex, have each member explain one section to all the others. If the group has trouble understanding part of the task, check with whoever made the assignment. 6. Expect disagreement, and remember that the goal is not for everyone just to “go along.” The challenge is to get a really spirited debate going and to argue through all possibilities. 7. If you are preparing a group-written document, divide up the drafting duties. Set reasonable deadlines for each stage of work. Schedule at least two meetings to iron out the final draft by reading it aloud and working for consistency of tone. Have everyone proofread the final draft, with one person making the corrections. 8. If the group will be making a presentation, be sure you know exactly how much time you will have. Decide how each member will contribute to the presentation. Leave time for at least two practice sessions. 9. Make a point of assessing the group’s effectiveness. What has the group accomplished? What has it done best? What has it been least successful at? What has each member contributed? How could the group function more effectively? EXERCISE 6.2: THINKING CRITICALLY Begin by making a list of all the ways in which you collaborate with others. Then reflect on the kinds of collaboration you find most effective. Finally, take an example of a recent collaboration you have been part of, and examine how well it worked by answering the following questions: What did I contribute to the collaboration? What worked well and did not work well? What could I have done to improve the collaboration? Planning and Drafting 7 Some writers just plunge right into their work and develop it as they go along. Others find that they work more effectively by making detailed blueprints before they begin drafting. Your planning and drafting may fall anywhere along this spectrum. As you plan and draft, you narrow 61 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 62 62 Writ Process 7b Planning and drafting your topic, decide on your thesis, organize materials to support that central idea, and sketch out a plan for your writing. As one student said, this is the time in the writing process “when the rubber meets the road.” 7a Narrow your topic. After exploring ideas, you may have found a topic that interests you and would also be interesting to your readers. The topic, however, may be too large to be manageable. If that is the case, narrow your topic in order to focus on a more workable idea. Emily Lesk narrowed her original vast topic (American advertising) by asking herself questions. TOPIC American advertising Okay, what do I most want to know about this topic? How powerful is advertising? Could advertising be related to how we define “American”? FIRST FOCUS ATTEMPT American advertising and national identity Ah, I may be onto something. How about portrayals of women and how they affect U.S. identity? Better yet, how about choosing a particular company that might be linked to American identity: McDonald’s? Weight Watchers? Coca-Cola? Chevrolet? SECOND FOCUS ATTEMPT Advertising icons that shape American identity Yes, but how many icons are there? LOTS — and I just named a few. Better choose one. NARROWED TOPIC 7b Coca-Cola as a cultural icon that shapes American identity Craft a working thesis. Most academic or professional writing contains a thesis statement, often near the beginning. The thesis functions as a promise to readers, letting them know what the writer will discuss. You should establish a tentative working thesis early on in your writing process. The word working is important here because the thesis may well change as you write — your final thesis may be very different from the working thesis you begin with. Even so, a working thesis focuses your thinking and research, and helps keep you on track. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 63 GAME PLAN Develop a Working Thesis (SO FAR I’ve thought about my purpose, audience, and topic….) Not sure what to say about the topic? START HERE. about my personal connection to the topic. WHAT INTERESTS me about it? WHAT POINT do I want to make? Got something to say about the topic? START HERE. WHAT do I know about my topic? WHAT do I need to find out? Can I write a sentence that DESCRIBES my topic and comments on it? Maybe I’ve got a WHAT is the most important thing to tell my audience? WORKING THESIS! OKAY! I CAN COMMENT ON MY TOPIC. If I’m just STATING FACTS, I don’t have a thesis yet. A thesis is a boring thesis. An thesis is a boring thesis, too. …stay focused… Can I cover this topic in the TIME and SPACE I have, or would I have to write a book? I’VE MADE A COMMENT ON MY TOPIC! Will it GRAB my audience's attention? TEST THE SENTENCE. REWRITE until I have a sentence to work with. IT’S INTERESTING, SPECIFIC, AND MANAGEABLE! (and I can refine it—or change it—as I go) I HAVE A WORKING THESIS! 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 64 7b 64 Writ Process Planning and drafting A working thesis should have two parts: a topic, which indicates the subject matter the writing is about, and a comment, which makes an important point about the topic. TOPIC 䊳 COMMENT The current health care crisis arises from three major causes. A successful working thesis has three characteristics: 1. It is potentially interesting to the intended audience. 2. It is as specific as possible. 3. It limits the topic enough to make it manageable. You can evaluate a working thesis by checking it against each of these characteristics, as in the following example: PRELIMINARY WORKING THESIS 䊳 Theories about global warming are being debated around the world. INTERESTING? The topic itself holds interest, but it seems to have no real comment attached to it. The thesis merely states a bare fact, and the only place to go from here is to more bare facts. SPECIFIC? The thesis is not specific. Who is debating these theories? What is at issue in this debate? MANAGEABLE? The thesis is not manageable; it would require research on global warming in many countries. ASSESSMENT: This thesis can be narrowed by the addition of a stronger comment and a sharper focus. REVISED WORKING THESIS 䊳 Working independently, scientists from several countries have now confirmed that global warming is demonstrably caused by humans. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Stating a Thesis In some cultures, it is considered rude to state an opinion outright. In the United States, however, academic and business practices require writers to make key positions explicitly clear. EXERCISE 7.1 Choose one of the following preliminary working theses, and after specifying an audience, evaluate the thesis in terms of its interest, specificity, and manageability. Revise the working thesis as necessary to meet these criteria. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 65 Organize information 7d Writ Process 1. Homeland security presents the United States with an ongoing problem. 2. Vaccinations are dangerous. 3. Too many American parents try to micromanage their children’s college education. 4. White-collar crime poses greater danger to the economy than street crime, even though the latter is more obvious. 5. An educated public is the key to a successful democracy. EXERCISE 7.2 Using the topic you chose in Exercise 6.1, write a preliminary working thesis. Evaluate the thesis in terms of its interest, specificity, and manageability. Revise it as necessary to create a satisfactory working thesis. 7c Gather information to support your thesis. Once you have a working thesis, consider whether you need to do research for your writing project. Your assignment may require research, or you may decide on your own to find out more about your topic or to locate visuals that will enhance your writing. You may even need to do research at more than one stage of the writing process as you define, narrow, and perhaps change your topic. Library research, online research, and field research can all help you find the information and visuals you need. (For more on conducting research and working with sources, see Chapters 15 and 16. For more on organizing your support into paragraphs, see Chapter 8.) 7d Organize information. Remember to consider your audience, purpose, and topic as you think about how you will organize information to make it accessible and persuasive to your audience. At the simplest level, writers most often group information according to four principles — space, time, logic, and association. Organizing according to space The organizational principle of space refers to where bits of information occur within a setting. If the information you have gathered is descriptive, you may choose to organize it spatially. Using spatial organization allows the reader to “see” your information, to fix it in space. 65 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 66 66 Writ Process 7d Planning and drafting INFORMATION ORGANIZED SPATIALLY The scene was being filmed in a windowless building with a corrugated tin roof. We entered through the single side door and sat in folding chairs on a platform along one wall, separated from the rest of the room by beaded red curtains. Behind us was darkness. On the far wall, neon lights glowed dimly, illuminating a few unoccupied barstools on the other This photo shows the spatial arrangement side of the room. But the front described, with the darkened side areas of the room was ablaze with for spectators and the brightly lighted front light. Purple and white floodof the room. The photograph and writing lights beamed down onto a together help readers see the scene circular dance floor, creating vividly. an almost supernatural glow. The film crew in the center of the room stood silhouetted against the light like an audience waiting for a show to begin. Organizing according to time The principle of time refers to when bits of information occur, usually chronologically. Chronological organization is the basic method used in cookbooks, lab reports, instruction manuals, and stories. Writers of these products organize information according to when it occurs in some process or sequence of events (narrative). INFORMATION ORGANIZED CHRONOLOGICALLY This photo series shows the rapid passage of time, with each image capturing an instant too fast to see with the eye alone. The image and text together give readers a clear idea of Muybridge’s achievement. In July of 1877, Eadweard Muybridge photographed a horse in motion with a camera fast enough to capture clearly the split second when the horse’s hooves were all off the ground — a moment never before caught on film. Throughout the fall of that year, newspapers were full of the news of Muybridge’s achievement. His next goal was to photograph a sequence of such rapid images. In the summer of 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 67 Organize information 7d Writ Process 1878, he set up a series of cameras along a track and snapped successive photos of a horse as it galloped past. Muybridge’s technical achievement helped to pave the way for the first motion pictures a decade later. Organizing according to logic The principle of logic refers to how bits of information are related logically. The most commonly used logical patterns include illustration, definition, division and classification, comparison and contrast, cause and effect, problem and solution, use of analogies, and narration. The example that follows organizes information logically, according to the principle of division. For other examples of paragraphs organized according to these logical patterns, see Chapter 8. INFORMATION ORGANIZED LOGICALLY The images are logically arranged to show burns of increasing severity. Burns can be divided into three types based on the severity of tissue damage: (1) Superficial, or first-degree, burns damage only the top layer of skin (epidermis). They are red and painful, but not serious. (2) Partial thickness, or seconddegree, burns damage both the epidermis and the layer just below it (dermis). Second-degree burns, which can be very painful, are characterized by blistering, swelling, and redness. (3) Full thickness, or third-degree, burns destroy both the epidermis and the dermis and damage underlying muscle and other tissues. They appear charred and black. The burn area itself is numb, but the surrounding area can be very painful. Third-degree burns can be fatal if the percentage of affected skin is sufficiently large. Organizing according to association The principle of association refers to how bits of information are related in terms of visuals, motifs, personal memories, and so on. Many contemporary essays are organized through a series of associations that grow directly out of the writer’s memory or experience. Thus, associational organization is often used in personal narrative, where writers can use a chain of associations to render an experience vividly for readers. INFORMATION ORGANIZED ASSOCIATIONALLY Flying from San Francisco to Atlanta, I looked down to see the gentle roll of the Smoky Mountains begin to appear. Almost at once, I was back on my Granny’s porch, sitting next to her drinking iced tea and eating 67 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 68 68 Writ Process 7e Planning and drafting peaches. Those peaches tasted good — picked ripe, skinned, and eaten with no regard for the sweet juice trickling everywhere. And on special occasions, we’d make ice cream, and Granny would empty a bowl brimming with chopped peaches into the creamy dish. Now — that was the life! This image works by association, its old-fashioned look emphasizing the nostalgic charm of homemade ice cream and peaches. In much of your writing, you will want to use two or more principles of organization. In addition, you may want to include not only visuals but sound and other multimedia effects as well. EXERCISE 7.3 Using the topic you chose in Exercise 6.1, identify the most effective means of organizing your information. Write a brief paragraph explaining why you chose this particular method (or these methods) of organization. AT A GLANCE Organizing Visuals • Use images and visuals to capture your readers’ attention and interest in a vivid way, to emphasize a point you make in your text, to present information that is difficult to convey in words, or to communicate with audiences with different language skills. • Consider how the image works as an image and in combination with the text, and think about how readers are likely to respond to it. • Place each visual as near as possible to the text it illustrates. • Introduce each visual clearly: As the map to the right depicts. . . . • Comment on the significance or effect of the visual: Figure 1 corroborates the firefighters’ statements. . . . • Label each visual appropriately, and cite the source. 7e Make a plan. At this point, you will find it helpful to create an organizational plan or outline. To do so, simply begin with your thesis; review your exploratory notes, research materials, and visuals; and then list all the examples and other good reasons you have to support the thesis. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 69 Make a plan 7e Writ Process A sample organizational plan One informal way to organize your ideas is to figure out what belongs in your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Here is how one student, who was writing about solutions to a problem, used this kind of plan: WORKING THESIS 䊳 Increased motorcycle use demands the reorganization of campus parking lots. INTRODUCTION give background and overview (motorcycle use up dramatically) and use a photograph of overcrowding in a lot state purpose — to fulfill promise of thesis by offering solutions BODY describe the current situation (tell of my research at area parking lots) describe the problem in detail (report on statistics; cars vs. cycles) and include a graph representing findings present two possible solutions (enlarge lots or reallocate space) CONCLUSION recommend against first solution because of cost and space recommend second solution, and summarize benefits of it A formal outline Even if you have made an informal written plan before drafting, you may also want — or be required — to prepare a formal outline, which can help you see exactly how the parts of your writing will fit together — how your ideas relate, where you need examples, and what the overall structure of your work will be. Most formal outlines follow a conventional format of numbered and lettered headings and subheadings, using roman numerals, capital letters, arabic numerals, and lowercase letters to show the levels of importance of the various ideas and their relationships. Each new level is indented to show its subordination to the preceding level. Thesis statement II. First main idea A. First subordinate idea 1. First supporting detail or point 2. Second supporting detail 3. Third supporting detail 69 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 70 70 Writ Process 7e Planning and drafting B. Second subordinate idea 1. First supporting detail 2. Second supporting detail II. Second main idea A. First subordinate idea 1. First supporting detail 2. Second supporting detail B. Second subordinate idea 1. First supporting detail 2. Second supporting detail a. First supporting detail b. Second supporting detail Note that each level contains at least two parts, so there is no A without a B, no 1 without a 2. Also keep in mind that headings should be stated in parallel form — either all sentences or all grammatically parallel structures. A storyboard The technique of storyboarding — working out a narrative or argument in visual form — can be a good way to come up with an organizational plan, especially if you are developing a Web site or other multimedia project. For such projects you can even find storyboard templates online to help you get started. For a typical college essay, however, you can create your own storyboard by using note cards or even sticky notes, taking advantage of different colors to keep track of threads of argument, subtopics, and so on. Remember that flexibility is a strong feature of storyboarding: you can move the cards and notes around, trying out different arrangements, until you find an organization that works well for your writing situation. Basic patterns for a storyboard include linear, hierarchical, and spoke-and-hub organization. LINEAR ORGANIZATION Use this when you want most readers to move in a particular order through your material. The Web report on p. 39 uses the following linear organization: Executive Summary Background: the Dead Zone Report Findings Methodology 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 71 Make a plan 7e Writ Process HIERARCHICAL ORGANIZATION A hierarchy puts the most important material first, with subtopics branching out from the main idea. A multimedia presentation on dog bite prevention might be arranged like this: Dog Bite Prevention Tips for Parents Tips for Dog Owners Restraining Pets Educating Children Training SPOKE-AND-HUB ORGANIZATION A spoke-and-hub organization allows readers to move from place to place in no particular order. Many portfolio Web sites are arranged this way: Practicing Caution About Me Résumé Diego Santos’s Home Page Writing Samples Diego’s Blog Recent Presentations Whatever form your plan takes, you may want or need to change it along the way. Writing has a way of stimulating thought, and the process of drafting may generate new ideas. Or you may find that you need to reexamine some data or information or gather more material. EXERCISE 7.4 Write out a plan for an essay supporting the working thesis you developed for Exercise 7.2. 71 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 72 72 Writ Process 7f 7f Planning and drafting Write out a draft. No matter how good your planning, investigating, and organizing have been, chances are you will need to do more work as you draft. This fact of life leads to the first principle of successful drafting: be flexible. If you see that your plan is not working, don’t hesitate to alter it. If some information now seems irrelevant, leave it out — even if you went to great lengths to obtain it. Throughout the drafting process, you may need to refer to points you have already written about. You may learn that you need to do more research, that your whole thesis must be reshaped, or that your topic is still too broad and should be narrowed further. Very often you will continue planning, investigating, and organizing throughout the writing process. EXERCISE 7.5 Write a draft essay from the plan you produced for Exercise 7.4. EXERCISE 7.6: THINKING CRITICALLY Using the following guidelines, reflect on the process you went through as you prepared for and wrote your draft essay for Exercise 7.5. Make your answers an entry in your writing log if you are keeping one. 1. How did you arrive at your specific topic? 2. When did you first begin to think about the assignment? 3. What kinds of exploring or planning did you do? What kinds of research did you need to do? 4. How long did it take to complete your draft (including the time spent gathering information)? 5. Where did you write your draft? Briefly describe the setting. 6. How did awareness of your audience help shape your draft? 7. What have you learned from your draft about your own rhetorical stance on your topic? 8. What did you learn about your ideas for this topic by exploring, planning, and talking with others about it? 9. What do you see as the major strengths of your draft? What is your favorite sentence, and why? 10. What do you see as the major weaknesses of your draft? What are you most worried about, and why? 11. What would you like to change about your process of exploring, planning, and drafting? 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 73 Focus on a main idea 8a Writ Process AT A GLANCE Drafting • Set up a computer folder or file for your essay. Give the file a clear and relevant name, and save to it often. Number your drafts. If you decide to try a new direction, save the file as a new draft — you can always pick up with a previous one if the new version doesn’t work out. • Have all your information close at hand and arranged according to your organizational plan. Stopping to search for a piece of information can break your concentration or distract you. • Try to write in stretches of at least thirty minutes. Writing can provide momentum, and once you get going, the task becomes easier. • Don’t let small questions bog you down. Just make a note of them in brackets — or in all caps — or make a tentative decision and move on. • Remember that first drafts aren’t perfect. Concentrate on getting all your ideas down, and don’t worry about anything else. • Stop writing at a place where you know exactly what will come next. Doing so will help you start easily when you return to the draft. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To see student drafts, click on Student Writing Models. Developing Paragraphs 8 Paragraphs serve as signposts — pointers that help guide readers through a piece of writing. A look through a popular magazine will show paragraphs working this way: the first paragraph of an article almost always aims to get our attention and to persuade us to read on, and subsequent ones often indicate a new point or a shift in focus or tone. Put most simply, a paragraph is a group of sentences or a single sentence set off as a unit. All the sentences in a paragraph usually revolve around one main idea. 8a Focus on a main idea. An effective paragraph often focuses on one main idea. A good way to achieve such paragraph unity is to state the main idea clearly in one sentence and then relate all the other sentences in the paragraph to that idea. The sentence that presents the main idea is called the topic sentence. 73 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 74 74 Writ Process 8a Developing paragraphs AT A GLANCE Editing Paragraphs • Is there a topic sentence that makes the main idea of each paragraph clear? If not, should there be? (8a) • Does the first sentence of each paragraph let readers know what that paragraph is about? Does the last sentence in some way conclude that paragraph’s discussion? If not, does it need to? • Within each paragraph, how does each sentence relate to the main idea? Revise or eliminate any that do not. (8a) • How completely does each paragraph develop its main idea? What details and images are included? Are they effective? Do any paragraphs need more detail? (8b) • What other methods of development might be used — definition? example? comparison and contrast? analogy? (8c) • Is each paragraph organized in a way that is easy to follow? Are sentences within each paragraph clearly linked? Do any of the transitions try to create links between ideas that do not really exist? (8e) • Are the paragraphs clearly linked? Do any links need to be added? Are any of the transitions from one paragraph to another artificial? (8e) • How does the introductory paragraph catch readers’ interest? How does the last paragraph draw the piece to a conclusion? (8f) Announcing the main idea in a topic sentence The following paragraph opens with a clear topic sentence, and the rest of the paragraph builds on the idea stated in that sentence: Our friendship was the source of much happiness and many memories. We grooved on every new recording from Jay-Z. We sweated together in the sweltering summer sun, trying to win the championship for our softball team. I recall the taste of pepperoni pizza as we discussed the highlights of our team’s victory. Once we even became attracted to the same person, but luckily we were able to share his friendship. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Being Explicit Native readers of English generally expect that paragraphs will have an explicitly stated main idea and that the connections between points in a paragraph will also be stated explicitly. Such step-by-step explicitness may strike you as unnecessary or ineffective, but it follows the traditional paragraph conventions of English. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 75 Provide details 8b Writ Process A topic sentence does not always come at the beginning of a paragraph; it may come at the end. Occasionally a paragraph’s main idea is so obvious that it need not be stated explicitly in a topic sentence. EXERCISE 8.1 Choose an essay you have written, and identify the topic sentence of each paragraph, noting where in the paragraph the topic sentence appears or whether it is implied rather than stated. Experiment with one paragraph, positioning its topic sentence in at least two different places. What difference does the change make? If you have any implied topic sentences, try stating them explicitly. Does the paragraph become easier to read? Relating each sentence to the main idea Whether the main idea of a paragraph is stated in a topic sentence or is implied, make sure that all other sentences in the paragraph contribute to the main idea. In the preceding example about friendship, all of the sentences clearly relate to the point that is made in the first sentence. The result is a unified paragraph. TALKING THE TALK Paragraph Length “How long should a paragraph be?” In college writing, paragraphs should address a specific topic or idea and develop that idea with examples and evidence. There is no set rule about how many sentences are required to make a complete paragraph. So write as many sentences as you need — and no more. 8b Provide details. An effective paragraph develops its main idea by providing enough details — including visual details — to hold the reader’s interest. Without such development, a paragraph may seem lifeless and abstract. A POORLY DEVELOPED PARAGRAPH No such thing as human nature compels people to behave, think, or react in certain ways. Rather, from our infancy to our death, we are constantly being taught, by the society that surrounds us, the customs, norms, and mores of a distinct culture. Everything in culture is learned, not genetically transmitted. This paragraph is boring. Although its main idea is clear and its sentences hold together, it fails to gain our interest or hold our attention because it 75 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 76 76 Writ Process 8b Developing paragraphs lacks any specific examples or details. Now look at the paragraph revised to include needed specifics. THE SAME PARAGRAPH, REVISED A child in Los Angeles decorates a Christmas tree with shiny red ornaments and sparkling tinsel. A few weeks later, a child in Beijing celebrates the Chinese New Year with feasting, firecrackers, and gift money in lucky red envelopes. It is not by instinct that one child knows how to decorate the tree while the other knows how to celebrate the New Year. No such thing as human nature compels people to behave, think, or react in certain ways. Rather, from the time of our infancy to our death, we are constantly being taught, by the society that surrounds us, the customs, norms, and mores of one or more distinct cultures. Everything in culture is learned, not genetically transmitted. Though both paragraphs present the same point, only the second one comes to life. It does so by bringing in specific details from life, including images that show readers what the paragraph describes. We want to read this paragraph because it appeals to our senses (shiny red ornaments, firecrackers) and our curiosity (why are red envelopes considered lucky?). Details are important not only in written texts but in visual ones as well. If you decide to use an image because of a particular detail, for instance, make sure that your readers will notice the detail you want them to see — crop out any unnecessary information and clarify what’s important about the image with a caption. EXERCISE 8.2 Choose one of the following topic sentences, and spend some time exploring the topic (see Chapter 6). Then write a paragraph that includes the topic sentence. Make sure that each of the other sentences relates to it. Assume that the paragraph will be part of a letter you are writing to an acquaintance. 1. I found out quickly that college life was not quite what I had expected. 2. Being part of the “in crowd” used to be essential to me. 3. My work experience has taught me several important lessons. 4. Until recently, I never appreciated my parents fully. 5. I expect my college education to do more than assure me of a job. EXERCISE 8.3 Choose an essay you have written recently, and examine the second, third, and fourth paragraphs. Does each have a topic sentence or strongly imply one? Do all the other sentences in the paragraph focus on its main idea? Would you now revise any of these paragraphs — and, if so, how? 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 77 Use effective methods of development 8c Writ Process PHOTO CROPPED TO SHOW DETAIL Fig.1. Venetians have worn masks like these during Carnival for centuries. 8c Use effective methods of development. As noted in Chapter 7, there are several common methods of development. You can use them to develop paragraphs. Narrative A narrative paragraph uses the chronological elements of a story to develop a main idea. The following is one student’s narrative paragraph that tells a personal story to support a point about the dangers of racing bicycles with flimsy alloy frames: People who have been exposed to the risk of dangerously designed bicycle frames have paid too high a price. I saw this danger myself in last year’s Putney Race. An expensive graphite frame failed, and the rider was catapulted onto Vermont pavement at fifty miles per hour. The pack of riders behind him was so dense that other racers crashed into a tangled, sliding heap. The aftermath: four hospitalizations. I got off with some stitches, a bad road rash, and severely pulled tendons. My Italian racing bike was 77 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 78 78 Writ Process 8c Developing paragraphs pretzeled, and my racing was over for that summer. Others were not so lucky. An Olympic hopeful, Brian Stone of the Northstar team, woke up in a hospital bed to find that his cycling was over — and not just for that summer. His kneecap had been surgically removed. He couldn’t even walk. COMMON ASSIGNMENTS Narrative Essay Personal narratives — the most common assignment of all some twenty years ago — are assigned less often today. But variations of the genre, such as literacy narratives, are still very common. Writing about yourself can be more difficult than it sounds, requiring a major point you want to make, clear organization, vivid description, and some kind of conclusion that ties the narrative together and highlights its significance. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS OF A NARRATIVE ASSIGNMENT • Make your story engaging and meaningful to your audience. • Brainstorm a list of memories, concentrating on capturing them as vividly as possible. Use your senses: how did things look, smell, feel, taste, and sound? • Use specific details and concrete words to create pictures in your readers’ minds. You may want to include photos or other illustrations as well. • Consider organization: chronological order may be the most natural way to tell your story, but you might want to use flashbacks or flash-forwards, too. • Try using dialogue to bring the voices of characters to life. • Think carefully about the overall point you want to make. When you have a clear sense of the major point, make sure that each part of the narrative leads up to that point. • Don’t just dump memories onto paper. Craft and organize your work carefully to lead to the insights or points you want to make. Description A descriptive paragraph uses specific details to create a clear impression. Notice how the following paragraph includes details about an old schoolroom; they convey a strong impression of a room where “time had taken its toll.” Notice as well how the writer uses spatial organization, moving from the ceiling to the floor. The professor’s voice began to fade into the background as my eyes wandered around the classroom in the old administration building. The water-stained ceiling was cracked and peeling, and the splitting wooden beams played host to a variety of lead pipes and coils. My eyes followed these pipes down the walls and around corners until I eventually saw the 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 79 Use effective methods of development 8c Writ Process electric outlets. I thought it was strange that they were exposed, and not built in, until I realized that there probably had been no electricity when the building was built. Below the outlets the sunshine was falling in bright rays across the hardwood floor, and I noticed how smoothly the floor was worn. Time had taken its toll on this building. Definition You may often need to write an entire paragraph in order to define a word or concept, as in the following example: Economics is the study of how people choose among the alternatives available to them. It’s the study of little choices (“Should I take the chocolate or the strawberry?”) and big choices (“Should we require a reduction in energy consumption in order to protect the environment?”). It’s the study of individual choices, choices by firms, and choices by governments. Life presents each of us with a wide range of alternative uses of our time and other resources; economists examine how we choose among those alternatives. – TIMOTHY TREGARTHEN, Economics Example One of the most common ways of developing a paragraph is by illustrating a point with one or more examples. The Indians made names for us children in their teasing way. Because our very busy mother kept my hair cut short, like my brothers’, they called me Short Furred One, pointing to their hair and making the sign for short, the right hand with fingers pressed close together, held upward, back out, at the height intended. With me this was about two feet tall, the Indians laughing gently at my abashed face. I am told that I was given a pair of small moccasins that first time, to clear up my unhappiness at being picked out from the dusk behind the fire and my two unhappy shortcomings made conspicuous. – MARI SANDOZ, “The Go-Along Ones” Division and classification Division breaks a single item into parts. Classification groups many separate items according to their similarities. A paragraph evaluating one history course might divide the course into several segments — textbooks, lectures, assignments — and examine each one in turn. A paragraph giving an overview of many history courses might classify the courses in a number of ways — by time periods, by geographic areas, by the kinds of assignments demanded, by the number of students enrolled, or by some other principle. 79 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 80 80 Writ Process 8c Developing paragraphs DIVISION We all listen to music according to our separate capacities. But, for the sake of analysis, the whole listening process may become clearer if we break it up into its component parts, so to speak. In a certain sense, we all listen to music on three separate planes. For lack of a better terminology, one might name these: (1) the sensuous plane, (2) the expressive plane, (3) the sheerly musical plane. The only advantage to be gained from mechanically splitting up the listening process into these hypothetical planes is the clearer view to be had of the way in which we listen. – AARON COPLAND, What to Listen For in Music CLASSIFICATION Two types of people are seduced by fad diets. Those who have always been overweight turn to them out of despair; they have tried everything, and yet nothing seems to work. A second group of people to succumb appear perfectly healthy but are baited by slogans such as “look good, feel good.” These slogans prompt self-questioning and insecurity — do I really look good and feel good? — and as a direct result, many healthy people fall prey to fad diets. With both types of people, however, the problems surrounding such diets are numerous and dangerous. In fact, these diets provide neither intelligent nor effective answers to weight control. Comparison and contrast When you compare two things, you look at their similarities; when you contrast two things, you focus on their differences. You can structure paragraphs that compare or contrast in two basic ways. One way is to present all the information about one item and then all the information about the other item, as in the following paragraph: You could tell the veterans from the rookies by the way they were dressed. The knowledgeable ones had their heads covered by kerchiefs, so that if they were hired, tobacco dust wouldn’t get in their hair; they had on clean dresses that by now were faded and shapeless, so that if they were hired they wouldn’t get tobacco dust and grime on their best clothes. Those who were trying for the first time had their hair freshly done and wore attractive dresses; they wanted to make a good impression. But the dresses couldn’t be seen at the distance that many were standing from the employment office, and they were crumpled in the crush. – MARY MEBANE, “Summer Job” 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 81 Use effective methods of development 8c Writ Process Or you can switch back and forth between the two items, focusing on particular characteristics of each in turn. Malcolm X emphasized the use of violence in his movement and employed the biblical principle of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.” King, on the other hand, felt that blacks should use nonviolent civil disobedience and employed the theme “turning the other cheek,” which Malcolm X rejected as “beggarly” and “feeble.” The philosophy of Malcolm X was one of revenge, and often it broke the unity of black Americans. More radical blacks supported him, while more conservative ones supported King. King thought that blacks should transcend their humanity. In contrast, Malcolm X thought they should embrace it and reserve their love for one another, regarding whites as “devils” and the “enemy.” The distance between Martin Luther King Jr.’s thinking and Malcolm X’s was the distance between growing up in the seminary and growing up on the streets, between the American dream and the American reality. EXERCISE 8.4 Outline the preceding paragraph on Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X, noting its alternating pattern. Then rewrite the paragraph using block organization: the first part of the paragraph devoted to King, the second to Malcolm X. Finally, write a brief analysis of the two paragraphs, explaining which seems more coherent and easier to follow — and why. Analogy Analogies (comparisons that explain an unfamiliar thing in terms of a familiar one) can also help develop paragraphs. In the following paragraph, the writer draws an unlikely analogy — between the human genome and Thanksgiving dinner — to help readers understand what scientists know about the human genome. Think of the human genome as the ingredients list for a massive Thanksgiving dinner. Scientists long have had a general understanding of how the feast is cooked. They knew where the ovens were. Now, they also have a list of every ingredient. Yet much remains to be discovered. In most cases, no one knows exactly which ingredients are necessary for making, for example, the pumpkin pie as opposed to the cornbread. Indeed, many, if not most, of the recipes that use the genomic ingredients are missing, and 81 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 82 82 Writ Process 8c Developing paragraphs there’s little understanding why small variations in the quality of the ingredients can “cook up” diseases in one person but not in another. – USA TODAY, “Cracking of Life’s Genetic Code Carries Weighty Potential” Cause and effect You can often develop paragraphs by explaining the causes of something or the effects that something brings about. The following paragraph discusses how our desire for food that tastes good has affected history: The human craving for flavor has been a largely unacknowledged and unexamined force in history. For millenia royal empires have been built, unexplored lands traversed, and great religions and philosophies changed by the spice trade. In 1492 Christopher Columbus set sail to find seasoning. Today the influence of flavor in the world marketplace is no less decisive. The rise and fall of corporate empires — of softdrink companies, snack-food companies, and fast-food chains — is often determined by how their products taste. – ERIC SCHLOSSER, Fast Food Nation Process Paragraphs that explain a process often use the principle of time or chronology to order the stages in the process. By the late 20s, most people notice the first signs of aging in their physical appearance. Slight losses of elasticity in facial skin produce the first wrinkles, usually in those areas most involved in their characteristic facial expressions. As the skin continues to lose elasticity and fat deposits build up, the face sags a bit with age. Indeed, some people have drooping eyelids, sagging cheeks, and the hint of a double chin by age 40 (Whitbourne, 1985). Other parts of the body sag a bit as well, so as the years pass, adults need to exercise regularly if they want to maintain their muscle tone and body shape. Another harbinger of aging, the first gray hairs, is usually noticed in the 20s and can be explained by a reduction in the number of pigment-producing cells. Hair may become a bit less plentiful, too, because of hormonal changes and reduced blood supply to the skin. – KATHLEEN STASSEN BERGER, The Developing Person through the Life Span Problem and solution Another way to develop a paragraph is to open with a topic sentence that states a problem or asks a question about a problem and then to offer a solution or answers in the sentences that follow — a technique 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 83 Use effective methods of development 8c Writ Process used in this paragraph from a review of Ted Nordhaus and Michael Shellenberger’s book Break Through: From the Death of Environmentalism to the Politics of Possibility: Unfortunately, at the moment growth means burning more fossil fuel. . . . How can that fact be faced? How to have growth that Americans want, but without limits that they instinctively oppose, and still reduce carbon emissions? [Nordhaus and Shellenberger’s] answer is: investments in new technology. Acknowledge that America “is great at imagining, experimenting, and inventing the future,” and then start spending. They cite examples ranging from the nuclear weapons program to the invention of the Internet to show what government money can do, and argue that too many clean-energy advocates focus on caps instead. – BILL MCKIBBEN, “Can Anyone Stop It?” Reiterating Increasingly an important method of development, reiterating calls for an early statement of the main point of a paragraph. The paragraph then goes on to restate the point, hammering home the point and often building in intensity as well. We are on the move now. The burning of our churches will not deter us. We are on the move now. The bombing of our homes will not dissuade us. We are on the move now. The beating and killing of our clergymen and young people will not divert us. We are on the move now. The arrest and release of known murderers will not discourage us. We are on the move now. Like an idea whose time has come, not even the marching of mighty armies can halt us. We are moving to the land of freedom. – MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., “Our God Is Marching On” EXERCISE 8.5 Choose two of the following topics or two others that interest you, and brainstorm or freewrite about each one for ten minutes (6a and 6b). Then use the information you have produced to determine what method(s) of development would be most appropriate for each topic. 1. the pleasure a hobby has given you 2. the different images of two noted athletes 3. an average Saturday morning 4. why the game Monopoly is (or is not) an appropriate metaphor for U.S. society 5. the best course you’ve ever taken 83 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 84 84 Writ Process 8e Developing paragraphs EXERCISE 8.6 Take an assignment you have written recently, and study the ways you developed each paragraph. For one of the paragraphs, write a brief evaluation of its development. How would you expand or otherwise improve the development? 8d Consider paragraph length. Paragraph length is determined by content and purpose. Paragraphs should develop an idea, create any desired effects (such as suspense or humor), and advance the larger piece of writing. Fulfilling these aims will sometimes require short paragraphs, sometimes long ones. For example, if you are writing a persuasive piece, you may put all your evidence into one long paragraph to create the impression of a solid, overwhelmingly convincing argument. In a story about an exciting event, on the other hand, you may use a series of short paragraphs to create suspense, to keep the reader rushing to each new paragraph to find out what happens next. REASONS TO START A NEW PARAGRAPH • to turn to a new idea • to emphasize something (such as an idea or an example) • to change speakers (in dialogue) • to get readers to pause • to take up a subtopic • to start the conclusion EXERCISE 8.7 Examine the paragraph breaks in something you have written recently. Explain briefly in writing why you decided on each of the breaks. Would you change any of them now? If so, how and why? 8e Make paragraphs flow. A paragraph has coherence — or flows — if its details fit together clearly in a way that readers can easily follow. When you arrange information in a particular order (as described in 7d and 8c), you help readers move from one point to another. Regardless of your organization, however, be aware of several other ways to achieve paragraph coherence. Repeating key words and phrases Weaving in repeated key words and phrases — or pronouns that point to them — not only links sentences but also alerts readers to the importance 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 85 Make paragraphs flow 8e Writ Process of those words or phrases in the larger piece of writing. Notice in the following example how the repetition of the italicized key words and the use of pronouns that refer to those words help hold the paragraph together: Over the centuries, shopping has changed in function as well as in style. Before the Industrial Revolution, most consumer goods were sold in openair markets, customers who went into an actual shop were expected to buy something, and shoppers were always expected to bargain for the best possible price. In the nineteenth century, however, the development of the department store changed the relationship between buyers and sellers. Instead of visiting several market stalls or small shops, customers could now buy a variety of merchandise under the same roof; instead of feeling expected to buy, they were welcome just to look; and instead of bargaining with several merchants, they paid a fixed price for each item. In addition, they could return an item to the store and exchange it for a different one or get their money back. All of these changes helped transform shopping from serious requirement to psychological recreation. EXERCISE 8.8 Read the following paragraph. Then identify the places where the author uses repetition of key words and phrases, and explain how they bring coherence to the paragraph. In our time it is broadly true that political writing is bad writing. Where it is not true, it will generally be found that the writer is some kind of rebel, expressing his private opinions and not a “party line.” Orthodoxy, of whatever color, seems to demand a lifeless, imitative style. The political dialects to be found in pamphlets, leading articles, manifestos, white papers, and the speeches of under-secretaries do, of course, vary from party to party, but they are all alike in that one almost never finds in them a fresh, vivid, homemade turn of speech. When one watches some tired hack on the platform mechanically repeating the familiar phrases — bestial atrocities, iron heel, bloodstained tyranny, free peoples of the world, stand shoulder to shoulder — one often has a curious feeling that one is not watching a live human being but some kind of dummy. . . . And this is not altogether fanciful. A speaker who uses that kind of phraseology has gone some distance toward turning himself into a machine. The appropriate noises are coming out of his larynx, but his brain is not involved as it would be if he were choosing his words for himself. If the speech he is making is one that he is accustomed to make over and over again, he may be almost unconscious of what he is saying, as one is when one utters the responses in church. And this reduced state of consciousness, if not indispensable, is at any rate favorable to political conformity. — GEORGE ORWELL, “Politics and the English Language” Using parallelism Parallel structures can help connect the sentences within a paragraph. As readers, we feel pulled along by the force of the parallel structures in the example on the following page: 85 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 86 86 Writ Process 8e Developing paragraphs William Faulkner’s “Barn Burning” tells the story of a young boy trapped in a no-win situation. If he betrays his father, he loses his family. If he betrays justice, he becomes a fugitive. In trying to free himself from his trap, he does both. Using transitions Transitions are words such as so, however, and thus that signal relationships between sentences and paragraphs. Transitions help guide the reader from one idea to another. To understand how important transitions are in directing readers, try reading the following paragraph, from which all transitions have been removed. A PARAGRAPH WITH NO TRANSITIONS In “The Fly,” Katherine Mansfield tries to show us the real personality of the boss beneath his exterior. The fly helps her to portray this real self. The boss goes through a range of emotions and feelings. He expresses these feelings to a small but determined fly, whom the reader realizes he unconsciously relates to his son. The author basically splits up the story into three parts, with the boss’s emotions and actions changing quite measurably. With old Woodifield, with himself, and with the fly, we see the boss’s manipulativeness. Our understanding of him as a hard and cruel man grows. If we work at it, we can figure out the relationship of these sentences to one another, for this paragraph is essentially unified by one major idea. But the lack of transitions results in an abrupt, choppy rhythm; the paragraph lurches from one detail to the next, dragging the confused reader behind. See how much easier the passage is to read and understand with transitions added. THE SAME PARAGRAPH WITH TRANSITIONS In “The Fly,” Katherine Mansfield tries to show us the real personality of the boss beneath his exterior. The fly in the story’s title helps her to portray this real self. In the course of the story, the boss goes through a range of emotions. At the end, he finally expresses these feelings to a small but determined fly, whom the reader realizes he unconsciously relates to his son. To accomplish her goal, the author basically splits up the story into three parts, with the boss’s emotions and actions changing measurably throughout. First with old Woodifield, then with himself, and last with the fly, we see the boss’s manipulativeness. With each part, our understanding of him as a hard and cruel man grows. Commonly used transitions TO SIGNAL SEQUENCE again, also, and, and then, besides, finally, first . . . second . . . third, furthermore, last, moreover, next, still, too 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 87 Work on opening and closing paragraphs 8f Writ Process TO SIGNAL TIME after a few days, after a while, afterward, as long as, as soon as, at last, at that time, before, earlier, immediately, in the meantime, in the past, lately, later, meanwhile, now, presently, simultaneously, since, so far, soon, then, thereafter, until, when TO SIGNAL COMPARISON again, also, in the same way, likewise, once more, similarly TO SIGNAL CONTRAST although, but, despite, even though, however, in contrast, in spite of, instead, nevertheless, nonetheless, on the contrary, on the one hand . . . on the other hand, regardless, still, though, yet TO SIGNAL EXAMPLES after all, for example, for instance, indeed, in fact, of course, specifically, such as, the following example, to illustrate TO SIGNAL CAUSE AND EFFECT accordingly, as a result, because, consequently, for this purpose, hence, so, then, therefore, thereupon, thus, to this end TO SIGNAL PLACE above, adjacent to, below, beyond, closer to, elsewhere, far, farther on, here, near, nearby, opposite to, there, to the left, to the right TO SIGNAL CONCESSION although it is true that, granted that, I admit that, it may appear that, naturally, of course TO SIGNAL SUMMARY, REPETITION, OR CONCLUSION as a result, as has been noted, as I have said, as mentioned earlier, as we have seen, in any event, in conclusion, in other words, in short, on the whole, therefore, to summarize 8f Work on opening and closing paragraphs. Opening paragraphs Even a good piece of writing may remain unread if it has a weak opening paragraph. In addition to announcing your topic, an introductory paragraph must engage readers’ interest and focus their attention on what is to follow. One common kind of opening paragraph follows a general-to-specific sequence, in which the writer opens with a general 87 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 88 88 Writ Process 8f Developing paragraphs statement and then gets more and more specific, concluding with the thesis. The following paragraph illustrates such an opening: Throughout Western civilization, places such as the ancient Greek agora, the New England town hall, the local church, the coffeehouse, the village square, and even the street corner have been arenas for debate on public affairs and society. Out of thousands of such encounters, “public opinion” slowly formed and became the context in which politics was framed. Although the public sphere never included everyone, and by itself did not determine the outcome of all parliamentary actions, it contributed to the spirit of dissent found in a healthy representative democracy. Many of these public spaces remain, but they are no longer centers for political discussion and action. They have largely been replaced by television and other forms of media — forms that arguably isolate citizens from one another rather than bringing them together. – MARK POSTER, “The Net as a Public Sphere” In this paragraph, the opening sentence introduces a general subject — sites of public debate throughout history; subsequent sentences focus more specifically on political discussion; and the last sentence presents the thesis, which the rest of the essay will develop. OTHER EFFECTIVE WAYS OF OPENING • with a quotation: There is a bumper sticker that reads, “Too bad ignorance isn’t painful.” – NIKKI GIOVANNI, “Racism 101” • with an anecdote: I first met Angela Carter at a dinner in honor of the Chilean writer José Donoso at the home of Liz Calder, who then published all of us. – SALMAN RUSHDIE, “Angela Carter” • with a question: Why are Americans terrified of using nuclear power as a source of energy? • with a strong opinion: Men need a men’s movement about as much as women need chest hair. – JOHN RUSZKIEWICZ, The Presence of Others Concluding paragraphs A good conclusion wraps up a piece of writing in a satisfying and memorable way. A common and effective strategy for concluding is to restate the central idea (but not word for word), perhaps specifying it in several sentences, and then ending with a much more general statement. Lastly, and perhaps greatest of all, there was the ability, at the end, to turn quickly from war to peace once the fighting was over. Out of the way these two men [Generals Grant and Lee] behaved at Appomattox came the possibility of a peace of reconciliation. It was a possibility not wholly realized, in the years to come, but which did, in the end, help the 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 89 Reviewing and revising 9 Writ Process two sections to become one nation again . . . after a war whose bitterness might have seemed to make such a reunion wholly impossible. No part of either man’s life became him more than the part he played in this brief meeting in the McLean house at Appomattox. Their behavior there put all succeeding generations of Americans in their debt. Two great Americans, Grant and Lee — very different, yet under everything very much alike. Their encounter at Appomattox was one of the great moments of American history. – BRUCE CATTON, “Grant and Lee: A Study in Contrasts” OTHER EFFECTIVE WAYS OF CONCLUDING • with a quotation • with a question • with a vivid image • with a call for action • with a warning D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For more help with writing, go to Writing Resources and click on Links. EXERCISE 8.9: THINKING CRITICALLY Reading with an Eye for Paragraphs Read something by a writer you admire. Find one or two paragraphs that impress you in some way, and analyze them, using the guidelines on p. 74. Try to decide what makes them effective paragraphs. Thinking about Your Own Use of Paragraphs Examine two or three paragraphs you have written, using the guidelines on p. 74, to evaluate the unity, coherence, and development of each one. Identify the topic of each paragraph, the topic sentence (if one is explicitly stated), any patterns of development, and any means used to create coherence. Decide whether or not each paragraph successfully guides your readers, and explain your reasons. Then choose one paragraph, and revise it. Reviewing and Revising 9 The ancient Roman poet Horace advised aspiring writers to get distance from their work by putting it away for nine years. Although impractical for most college writers, this advice still holds a nugget of truth: putting the draft away even for a day or two will clear your mind and give you more objectivity about your writing. 89 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 90 90 Writ Process 9a 9a Reviewing and revising Reread. After giving yourself and your draft a rest, review the draft by rereading it carefully for meaning; recalling your purpose and audience; reconsidering your stance; and evaluating your organization and use of visuals. Meaning When you pick up the draft again, don’t sweat the small stuff. Instead, concentrate on your message and on whether you have expressed it clearly. Note any places where the meaning seems unclear. Purpose If you responded to an assignment, make sure that you have produced what was asked for. If you set out to prove something, have you succeeded? If you intended to propose a solution to a problem, have you set forth a well-supported solution rather than just an analysis of the problem? Audience How appropriately do you address your audience members, given their experiences and expectations? Will you catch their interest, and will they be able to follow your discussion? Stance Ask yourself one central question: where are you coming from in this draft? Consider whether your stance appropriately matches the stance you started out with, or whether your stance has legitimately evolved. Organization One way to check the organization of your draft is to outline it. After numbering the paragraphs, read through each one, jotting down its main idea. Do the main ideas clearly relate to the thesis and to one another? Can you identify any confusing leaps from point to point? Have you left out any important points? 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 91 Get responses from peers 9b Writ Process Use of visuals If you’ve used visuals, do they help make a point? Are all visuals clearly labeled and the sources appropriately credited? Are they referred to in the text? Consider whether there is information in your draft that would be better presented as a visual. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Asking an Experienced Writer to Review Your Draft One good way to make sure that your writing is easy to follow is to have someone else read it. You might find it especially helpful to ask someone who is experienced in the kind of writing you are working on to read over your draft and to point out any words or patterns that are unclear or ineffective. EXERCISE 9.1 Take twenty to thirty minutes to look critically at the draft you prepared for Exercise 7.5. Reread it carefully, check to see how well the purpose is accomplished, and consider how appropriate the draft is for the audience. Then write a paragraph about how you would go about revising the draft. 9b Get responses from peers. In addition to your own critical appraisal and that of an instructor, you may want to get responses to your draft from friends, classmates, or colleagues. Use the questions here to respond to someone else’s draft or to analyze your own. If you ask other people to evaluate your draft, be sure that they know your assignment, intended audience, and purpose. EXERCISE 9.2 To prepare for a peer review, write a description of your purpose, rhetorical stance, and audience for your reviewer(s) to consider. For example, Emily Lesk might write, “I want to figure out why Coca-Cola seems so American and how the company achieves this effect. My audience is primarily college students like me, learning to analyze their own cultures. I want to sound knowledgeable, and I want this essay to be fun and interesting to read.” This type of summary statement can help your reviewers keep your goals in mind as they give you feedback. 91 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 92 GAME PLAN Work with Peer Reviewers START to work with others on a DRAFT. WHAT SHOULD WE FOCUS ON? Big picture, development, sentence-level questions? IT DOESN'T MATTER if this writer has more or less experience than I do —we can still help each other.... REVIEWERS WRITERS READ CAREFULLY. What should I look at FIRST? (ASK if I’m not sure….) GUIDE MY READERS. What’s the draft doing? Do I get the MAIN POINTS? What PROBLEMS do I see in this draft? Does this WORK? What’s wrong here? Is the writer on the RIGHT TRACK? MARK UP THE WRITING. Compliment what’s good. Criticize constructively. Should I ASK more questions? TELL readers what I want them to do first. Are my markings CLEAR? SUGGEST NEXT STEPS. What changes could make the next draft stronger? Be specific…. ACCEPT HELP. Remember that all writing can be improved— EVEN MINE! CONFIRM SUGGESTIONS. Do I UNDERSTAND what my REVIEWERS think? If the comments don’t seem helpful, ask for better ones…. Have I gotten FEEDBACK on what to do next? I’M ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS… I’M HELPING OTHER WRITERS THINK… I KNOW WHERE THIS WRITING SHOULD GO FROM HERE! 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 93 Get responses from peers 9b Writ Process AT A GLANCE Guidelines for Peer Response • Initial thoughts. What are the main strengths and weaknesses of the draft? What might confuse readers? What is the most important thing the writer says in the draft? What will readers want to know more about? • Assignment. Does the draft carry out the assignment? • Title and introduction. Do the title and introduction tell what the draft is about and catch readers’ interest? How else might the draft begin? • Thesis and purpose. Paraphrase the thesis: In this paper, the writer will. . . . Does the draft fulfill that promise? • Audience. How does the draft interest and appeal to its audience? • Rhetorical stance. Where does the writer stand? What words indicate the stance? • Supporting points. List the main points, and review them one by one. How well does each point support the thesis? Do any need more explanation? Do any seem confusing or boring? • Visuals and design. Do visuals, if any, add to the key points? Is the design clear and effective? • Organization and flow. Is the writing easy to follow? How effective are transitions within sentences, between sentences, and between paragraphs? • Conclusion. Does the draft conclude memorably? Is there another way it might end? Tools for peer review One of the main goals of a peer reviewer is to help the writer see his or her draft differently. When you review a draft, you want to show the writer what does and doesn’t work about particular aspects of the draft. Visually marking the draft can help the writer absorb at a glance the revisions you suggest. REVIEWING A PRINT DRAFT When working with a hard copy of a draft, write compliments in the left margin and critiques, questions, and suggestions in the right margin. As long as you explain what your symbols mean, you can also use boxes, circles, single and double underlining, highlighting, or other visual annotations as shorthand for what you have to say about the draft. REVIEWING A COMPUTER DRAFT If the draft is an electronic file, the reviewer should save the document in a peer-review folder under an easy-to-recognize name. It’s wise to 93 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 94 94 Writ Process 9b Reviewing and revising FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Understanding Peer Review If you are not used to giving or receiving criticisms directly, you may be uneasy with a classmate’s challenges to your work. However, constructive criticism is appropriate to peer review. Your peers will also expect you to offer your questions, suggestions, and insights. include the writer’s name, the assignment, the number of the draft, and the reviewer’s initials. For example, the reviewer Ann G. Smith might name the file for the first draft of Javier Jabari’s first essay jabari.essay1.d1.ags. The reviewer can then use the word-processing program to add comments, questions, and suggestions to the text. In Microsoft Word, the REVIEWING toolbar appears as an option after the reviewer selects TOOLBARS in the VIEW menu. THE REVIEWING TOOLBAR IN MICROSOFT WORD INSERT COMMENT TRACK CHANGES Moving a mouse over the icons on the REVIEWING toolbar will reveal their functions. The critical functions for peer reviewers are TRACK CHANGES and the COMMENT tool. TRACK CHANGES will show a reviewer’s changes to the document in a different color. The COMMENT function (which you can also find on the INSERT menu) allows you to type a note in the margin. If your word processor doesn’t have a COMMENT function, you can comment in footnotes instead. EXERCISE 9.3 Using the questions for reviewers on p. 92 as a guide, analyze the draft you wrote for Exercise 7.5, trying to imagine it through a reviewer’s eyes. Reviews of Emily Lesk’s draft On page 95 are the first three paragraphs of Emily Lesk’s draft, as reviewed electronically by two students, Beatrice Kim and Nastassia Lopez. (You’ll find earlier appearances of Emily’s work in 5g, 6d, and 7a.) Beatrice and Nastassia decided to use highlighting for particular purposes: green for material they found effective, yellow for language that seemed unclear, blue for material that could be expanded, and gray for material that could be deleted. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 95 Get responses from peers 9b Writ Process As this review shows, Nastassia and Bea agree on some of the major problems — and good points — in Emily’s draft. The comments on the draft, however, reveal their different responses. You, too, will find that different readers do not always agree on what is effective or ineffective. In addition, you may find that you simply do not agree with their advice. You can often proceed efficiently by looking first for areas of agreement (everyone was confused by this sentence — I’d better review it) or strong disagreement (one person said my conclusion was “perfect,” and someone else said it “didn’t conclude” — better look carefully at that paragraph again). All-Powerful Coke I don’t drink Coke. Call me picky for dislikingthe soda’s saccharine aftertaste. Call me cheap for choosing a water fountain over a twelve-ounce aluminum can that costs a dollar from a vending machine but only pennies to produce. Even call me unpatriotic for rejecting the potable god that over the last century has come to represent all the enjoyment and ease to be found in our American way of life. But don’t call me a hypocrite when I admit that I still identify with Cokeand the Coca-Cola culture. Comment: I’m not sure your title says enough about what your essay will argue. Comment: This opening sentence is a good attention-getter. Wonder what will come next? Comment: The beginning seems pretty abrupt. Comment: What does this mean?? Will other members of your audience know? Comment: Repeating the phrase “call me” is good, but I don’t think the first three “call me” statements have much to do with the rest of the paper. Comment: It would be cool to show this. I have a favorite T-shirt that says “Drink Coca-Cola Classic” in Hebrew. It’s Israel’s standard tourist fare, like little nested dolls in Russia or painted horses in Scandinavia, and before setting foot in the Promised Land three years ago, I knew where I could find one. The T-shirt shop in the central blockof a Jerusalem shopping center did Comment: Not sure you need all these details. Comment: One of what? a doll or horse? offer other shirt designs (“Macabee Beer” was a favorite), but that Coca-Cola shirt was what drew in most of the dollar-carrying tourists. I waited almost twenty minutes for mine, and I watched nearly everyone ahead of me say “the Coke shirt” (and “thanks” in Comment: Say it in Hebrew? Hebrew). At the time, I never asked why I wanted the shirt. I do know, though, that the Comment: This transition works really well. I wasn’t sure where this was going, but the beginning of the paragraph here starts to clue me in. reason I wear it often, despite a hole in the right sleeve, has to do with its power as a Comment: Good detail! conversation piece. Few people notice it without asking something like, “Does that say Coke?” I usually smile and nod. They mumble a compliment and we go our separate ways. But rarely does anyone want to know what language the world’s most famous logo is written in. And why should they? Perhaps because Coca-Cola is a cultural icon that shapes American identity. D Comment: I like the question—but is your next sentence really the answer? Comment: Is this the thesis? Kind of comes out of nowhere. bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To explore tools for peer review, go to Writing Resources and click on Working Online. If you’re using Comment in your course, you and your classmates can take part in peer-review activities online. 95 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 96 96 Writ Process 9c Reviewing and revising Getting the most from reviewers’ comments Consider your peer reviewers coaches, not judges. You, not the reviewers, will decide which suggestions to follow and which to disregard. After reading reviewers’ comments — and, if necessary, giving yourself some distance from those comments — make a revision plan consisting of two lists: (1) areas in which reviewers agree on needed changes, and (2) areas in which they disagree. Make choices about which suggestions to take, and rank those suggestions. Concentrate first on changes having to do with purpose, audience, stance, thesis, and support. Later you can tackle changes to sentences, words, punctuation, and format. If you received an electronically marked-up file from reviewers, you can use that file as the starting point for your next draft, titling it clearly. (For example, Javier Jabari might rename the file as jabari.essay1.d2.) Use the arrows in the REVIEWING toolbar to move through comments, changes, and highlighting. Decide what to do about each item by clicking the ACCEPT CHANGE or REJECT CHANGE icon. Remove comments as you deal with them by clicking the DELETE COMMENT icon. THE REVIEWING TOOLBAR IN MICROSOFT WORD PREVIOUS CHANGE NEXT CHANGE Based on her own review of her work as well as on the responses she received, Emily decided to (1) make her thesis more explicit, (2) delete some extraneous information and examples, and (3) work especially hard on the tone and length of her introduction (see p. 104). D 9c bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To see Emily Lesk’s complete first draft, click on Student Writing Models. Consult instructor comments. Instructor comments on any work that you have done can help you identify mistakes, particularly ones that you make repeatedly, and can point you toward larger issues that prevent your writing from being as effective as it could be. Whether or not you will have an opportunity to revise a particular piece of writing, you should look closely at the comments from your instructor. In responding to student writing, however, instructors sometimes use phrases or comments that are a kind of shorthand — comments that are perfectly clear to the instructor but may be less clear to the students 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 97 Consult instructor comments 9c Writ Process reading them. The instructor comments in the following chart, culled from over a thousand first-year student essays, are among those that you may find most puzzling. Alongside each comment you’ll find information intended to make the comment clearer to you — and to allow you to revise as your instructor recommends. If your paper includes a puzzling comment that is not listed here, be sure to ask your instructor what the comment means and how you can fix the problem. Instructor Comment Possible Meaning(s) Actions to Take in Response “thesis not clear” Your main point is hard to find or understand. Make sure that you have a main point, and state it directly. (7b) The rest of the paper will need to support the main point, too — this problem cannot be corrected by adding a sentence or two. “trying to do too much” “covers too much ground” Your main point is too broad. Focus your main point more narrowly so that you can say everything that you need to in a project of the assigned length. (5f) You may need to cut back on some material and then expand what remains. “hard to follow” “not logical” “incoherent” “jumps around” “parts not connected” “transition” The writing is not clearly or not logically organized, or the writing lacks transitions, explanations, or other signals the reader needs to understand it. If overall organization is unclear, try mapping or outlining and rearranging your work. (7d) See if transitions and signals (8e) or additional explanation will solve the problem. “too general” “vague” You need to be more specific. Use concrete language and details (22c), and make sure that you have something specific and interesting to say. (7b) If not, reconsider your topic. “underdeveloped” “thin” “sparse” You do not give enough information, examples, or details, or you have not considered the topic from enough angles. Add examples and details and be as specific as possible. (22c) You may need to do more research. (Chapters 14–16) (continued) 97 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 98 98 Writ Process 9c Instructor Comment Reviewing and revising Possible Meaning(s) Actions to Take in Response “what about the opposition?” “one-sided” “condescending” “overbearing” You misrepresent or do not include information on opposing arguments, or you imply that your opinion is the only reasonable one. Indicate that some people disagree with you, and represent their views fairly before you refute them. Recognize that reasonable people may hold views that differ from yours. (Chapter 13) “repetitive” “you’ve already said this” You repeat arguments or reuse evidence, or you have a tendency to overuse certain words or phrases in your writing. Revise any parts of your writing that repeat an argument, point, word, or phrase; avoid using the same evidence over and over. If your paper is too short without the repetition, develop your ideas more fully. (Chapter 8) “awk” “awkward” You have chosen an inappropriate word, or your sentence is confusing. Ask a peer or your instructor for suggestions about revising awkward sentences. (Chapters 24–28) “syntax” “awkward syntax” “convoluted” Your sentence is too long, or the parts of the sentence are not clearly related. Read the sentence aloud to identify the problem; revise or replace the sentence. (Chapters 24–28) “unclear” Your reader does not understand your point. Find another way to explain what you mean; add any background information or examples that your audience needs to follow your reasoning. “tone too conversational” “not an academic voice” “too informal” “colloquial” “slang” You use slang or colloquial terms inappropriately, or you do not show enough respect for your readers. Eliminate overly informal words and phrases. Revise material that addresses or refers to your audience too familiarly or informally. (22a) “pompous” “stilted” “stiff” You use inappropriately stuffy, strange, or showy language. Check the connotations of the words you use, and revise any language or syntax that contributes to a pompous, old-fashioned, or peculiar tone. (22a–b) (continued) 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 99 Revise Instructor Comment Possible Meaning(s) 9d Writ Process Actions to Take in Response “set up quotation” “integrate quotation” You neglect to introduce a quotation or to explain its significance, or you use a quotation that does not fit into the words around it. Introduce every quotation with information about the source. Explain each quotation’s importance to your work. Read the sentence containing the quotation aloud; revise it if the entire sentence does not make sense. (Chapter 17) “your words?” “source?” “cite” You use someone else’s words or ideas without citing the source. Mark all quotations clearly. Acknowledge paraphrases and summaries of others’ ideas. Give credit for help from others, and remember that you are responsible for your own work. (Chapter 17) “doc” You omit all or part of the source information required by the documentation style you are using, or you make punctuation or other errors in your in-text citations. Check the citations to be sure that you include all of the required information, that you punctuate correctly, and that you omit information not required by the documentation style. (Chapters 48–54) 9d Revise. Once you have sufficient advice on your draft from your instructor and classmates, review that advice and then read your work once more, making notes on what you want to change, add, or delete. In addition, take time to look at the “big picture” of your draft: does it get across the main points effectively? Then begin revising, making the changes you need to the following elements. And don’t be afraid to make really substantial revisions: sometimes that’s the only way to achieve the best results. Thesis Make sure that your thesis states the topic clearly and comments on what is particularly significant about the topic (7b). In addition, ask yourself whether the thesis is narrowed and focused enough to be thoroughly proven. If not, take time now to refine and/or limit your thesis further. 99 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 100 100 Writ Process 9d Reviewing and Revising TALKING THE TALK Revision “I thought I had revised my assignment, but my instructor said I’d just corrected the typos.” It’s always a good idea to clarify what revision means with a particular instructor. Generally, though, when a writing teacher asks for a revision, minor corrections will not be enough. Plan to review your entire draft, and be prepared to make major changes if necessary. Look for sentence-level errors and typos later, during the editing stage, since these may disappear or change as you revise. WORKING THESIS The current health care crisis stems from several related problems. REFINED THESIS The current health care crisis in America is most directly the result of government reluctance to negotiate with large insurance and pharmaceutical companies. When you revise your thesis, remember also to revise the rest of the draft accordingly. EXERCISE 9.4 After rereading the draft you wrote for Exercise 7.5, evaluate the revised working thesis you produced for Exercise 7.2. Then evaluate its support in the draft. Identify points that need further support, and list those things you must do to provide that support. Support Make sure that each paragraph relates to or supports the thesis and that each paragraph has sufficient detail to support the point it is making. Eliminate unnecessary material, and identify sections that need further details or examples. Organization Should any sections or paragraphs be moved to clarify your point or support your thesis more logically? Are there any paragraphs or parts of paragraphs that don’t fit with the essay now or that are unnecessary? Look for confusing leaps or omissions, and identify places where transitions would make the writing easier to follow. Title, introduction, and conclusion Does the title give information and draw readers in? Does the introduction attract their interest and present the topic in a way that makes them want 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 101 GAME PLAN Revise with Reviewer Comments START HERE START HERE if the comment is if the meaning is How does this APPLY to what I wrote? I’LL LOOK UP KEYWORDS IN MY BOOK. What should I ASK the person who made the comment? How IMPORTANT is this suggestion? DO OTHER READERS SAY THE SAME THING? Did the READER misunderstand me? If I’m still STUCK, I can stop by the WRITING CENTER…. What changes will CLARIFY my writing? WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I DON’T MAKE THIS CHANGE? How should I RESPOND? I THINK I’VE GOT IT NOW. REPEAT UNTIL ALL COMMENTS ARE CONSIDERED…. GET READY TO REVISE Based on my most useful comments, HOW MUCH REVISION DO I NEED? A FEW TWEAKS, A WHOLE NEW TEXT, OR SOMETHING IN BETWEEN? WHAT’S MY GOAL for this revision? I don’t want to START AGAIN, but sometimes that’s the way it goes…. WHAT’S THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I CAN DO TO IMPROVE THIS WRITING IN THE TIME I HAVE? I’VE REVIEWED THE COMMENTS I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT CHANGES I CAN MAKE THIS WRITING BETTER! 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 102 10 102 Writ Process Editing and reflecting to keep reading? Does the conclusion leave readers satisfied? Because readers notice beginnings and endings more than other parts of a piece of writing, pay special attention to how you introduce and conclude your work. Design Take a final close look at the design of your essay or project. Do you use visuals or images effectively throughout? Is each one numbered, labeled, and commented on in the essay? Do you use font size, color, and other design elements to best advantage in terms of making your point? Do you use consistent formatting throughout? What could you do now to make your essay look better? EXERCISE 9.5 Using the guidelines on p. 101, reread the draft you wrote for Exercise 7.5 with an eye for revising. Try to do this at least one day after you completed the draft. List the things you need or want to address in your revision. EXERCISE 9.6 Revise the draft you wrote for Exercise 7.5. EXERCISE 9.7: THINKING CRITICALLY Answer the following questions about your reviewing and revising process. 1. How did you begin reviewing your draft? 2. What kinds of comments on or responses to your draft did you have? How helpful were they, and why? 3. How long did revising take? How many drafts did you produce? 4. What kinds of changes did you tend to make? in organization, paragraphs, sentence structure, wording, adding or deleting information? in the use of visuals? 5. What gave you the most trouble as you were revising? 6. What pleased you most? What is your very favorite sentence or passage in the draft, and why? 7. What would you most like to change about your process of revising, and how do you plan to go about doing so? 10 Editing and Reflecting Whether you are writing a wedding invitation, an email to a client, or a history essay, make time to edit and proofread what you write. Editing involves fine-tuning the details of sentence structure, grammar, usage, 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 103 Edit 10a Writ Process punctuation, and spelling. Finally, careful proofreading aims at a perfect copy. For important writing, reflecting on how you accomplished the task can prepare you to achieve future writing goals. 10a Edit. Once you have revised a draft for content and organization, look closely at your sentences and words. Turning a “blah” sentence into a memorable one — or finding exactly the right word to express a thought — can result in writing that is really worth reading. As with life, variety is the spice of sentences. You can add variety to your sentences by looking closely at their length, structure, and opening patterns. Sentence length Too many short sentences, especially one following another, can sound like a series of blasts on a car horn, whereas a steady stream of long sentences may tire or confuse readers. Most writers aim for some variety in length, breaking up a series of fairly long sentences with a very brief one. In examining the following paragraph from her essay, Emily Lesk discovered that the sentences were all fairly long. In editing, she decided to shorten the second sentence, thereby offering a shorter sentence between two long ones. In other words, Coca-Cola has hammered itself into our perceptions--both conscious and subconscious -- of an American cultural identity by equating As itself with media that define American culture. When the omnipresent general ^ to gave way magazine that marked the earlier part of the century fell by the wayside under ^ , television’s power, Coke was there from the beginning. In its 1996 recap of ^ the previous fifty years in industry history, the publication Beverage Industry cites Coca-Cola as a frontrunner in the very first form of television advertising: sponsorship of entire programs such as, in the case of Coke, The Bob Dixon Show and The Adventures of Kit Carson. 103 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 104 104 Writ Process 10a Editing and reflecting Sentence openings Opening sentence after sentence in the same way results in a jerky, abrupt, or choppy rhythm. You can vary sentence openings by beginning with a dependent clause, a phrase, an adverb, a conjunctive adverb, or a coordinating conjunction (29b). Another paragraph in Emily Lesk’s essay tells the story of how she got her Coke T-shirt in Israel. Before she revised, every sentence in the paragraph opened with the subject, so Emily decided to delete some examples and vary her sentence openings. The final version (which also appears in 5g) is a dramatic and easy-to-read paragraph. I have a favorite T-shirt that says “Drink Coca-Cola Classic” in Hebrew. It’s Israel’s standard tourist fare, like little nested dolls in Russia or painted horses in Even Israel Seandinavia, and before setting foot in the Promised Land three years ago, I exactly ^ the Coke shirt. ^ ’s Ben Yehuda Street knew where I could find it. The shop in the central block of a Jerusalem ^ ^ , ^ shopping center did offer other shirt designs (“Macabee Beer” was a favorite), ^ but that Coca Cola shirt was what drew in most of the dollar-carrying tourists. ^While waiting my shirt, I waited almost twenty minutes for mine, and I watched nearly everyone ^ rabah [thank you very^ much].” todah ahead of me say “the Coke shirt,” (and “thanks“ in Hebrew). ^ the one with a bright white “Drink Coca-Cola Classic” written in Hebrew cursive across the chest Opening with it and there As you go over the opening sentences of your draft, look especially at those beginning with it or there. Sometimes these words can create a special emphasis, as in It was a dark and stormy night. But they can also appear too often. Another, more subtle problem with these openings is that they may be used to avoid taking responsibility for a statement. The following sentence can be improved by editing: The university must 䊳 It is necessary to raise student fees. ^ Tone Tone refers to the attitude that a writer’s language conveys toward the topic and the audience. In examining the tone of your draft, think about 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 105 Edit 10a Writ Process the nature of the topic, your own attitude toward it, and that of your intended audience. Does your language create the tone you want to achieve (humorous, serious, impassioned, and so on), and is that tone an appropriate one, given your audience and topic? Word choice Word choice — or diction — offers writers an opportunity to put their personal stamp on a piece of writing. Becoming aware of the kinds of words you use should help you get the most mileage out of each word. Check for connotations, or associations, of words and make sure you consider how any use of slang, jargon, or emotional language may affect your audience (see 22a–b). AT A GLANCE Word Choice • Are the nouns primarily abstract and general or concrete and specific? Too many abstract and general nouns can result in boring prose. • Are there too many nouns in relation to the number of verbs? This sentence is heavy and boring: The effect of the overuse of nouns in writing is the placement of strain on the verbs. Instead, say this: Overusing nouns places a strain on the verbs. • How many verbs are forms of be — be, am, is, are, was, were, being, been? If be verbs account for more than about a third of your total verbs, you are probably overusing them. • Are verbs active wherever possible? Passive verbs are harder to read and remember than active ones. Although the passive voice has many uses, your writing will gain strength and energy if you use active verbs. • Are your words appropriate? Check to be sure they are not too fancy — or too casual. Spell checkers While these software tools won’t catch every spelling error or identify all problems of style, they can be very useful. Most professional writers use their spell checkers religiously. Remember, however, that spell checkers are limited; they don’t recognize most proper names, foreign words, or specialized language, and they do not recognize homonym errors (misspelling there as their, for example). (See 22e.) 105 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 106 106 Writ Process 10a Editing and reflecting Document design Before you produce a copy for final proofreading, reconsider one last time the format and the “look” you want your document to have. This is one last opportunity to think carefully about the visual appearance of your final draft. (For more on document design, see Chapter 4. For more on the design conventions of different disciplines, see Chapters 60 – 64.) Proofreading the final draft Take time for one last, careful proofreading, which means reading to correct any typographical errors or other inconsistencies in spelling and punctuation. To proofread most effectively, read through the copy aloud, making sure that you’ve used punctuation marks correctly and consistently, that all sentences are complete (unless you’ve used intentional fragments or run-ons for special effects) — and that no words are missing. Then go through the copy again, this time reading backward so that you can focus on each individual word and its spelling. EXERCISE 10.1 Find a paragraph in your own writing that lacks variety in sentence length, sentence openings, or sentence structure. Then write a revised version. EXERCISE 10.2 Edit and proofread the draft you revised in Exercise 9.7. EXERCISE 10.3 Using several essays you have written, establish your own editing checklist. A student’s revised draft Following are the first three paragraphs from Emily Lesk’s edited and proofread draft that she submitted to her instructor. Compare these paragraphs with those from her reviewed draft in 9b. Student Writer Emily Lesk 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:09 PM Page 107 Edit 10a Writ Process Red, White, and Everywhere America, I have a confession to make: I don’t drink Coke. But don’t call me a hypocrite just because I am still the proud owner of a bright red shirt that advertises it. Just call me an American. Even before setting foot in Israel three years ago, I knew exactly where I could find the Coke shirt. The shop in the central block of Jerusalem’s Ben Yehuda Street did offer other shirt designs, but the one with a bright white “Drink Coca-Cola Classic” written in Fig. 1. Hebrew Coca-Cola T-shirt. Personal photograph. Hebrew cursive across the chest was what drew in most of the dollar-carrying tourists. While waiting almost twenty minutes for my shirt (depicted in Fig. 1), I watched nearly everyone ahead of me say “the Coke shirt, todah rabah [thank you very much].” At the time, I never thought it strange that I wanted one, too. After having absorbed sixteen years of Coca-Cola propaganda through everything from NBC’s Saturday morning cartoon lineup to the concession stand at Camden Yards (the Baltimore Orioles’ ballpark), I associated the shirt with singing along to the “Just for the Taste of It” jingle and with America’s favorite pastime, not with a brown fizzy beverage I refused to consume. When I later realized the immensity of Coke’s corporate power, I felt somewhat manipulated, but that didn’t stop me from wearing the shirt. I still don it often, despite the growing hole in the right sleeve, because of its power as a conversation piece. Few Americans notice it without asking something like “Does that say Coke?” I usually smile and nod. Then they mumble a one-word compliment, and we go our separate ways. But rarely do they want to know what language the internationally recognized logo is written in. And why should they? They are interested in what they can relate to as Americans: a familiar red-and-white logo, not a foreign language. Through nearly a century of brilliant advertising strategies, the Coca-Cola Company has given Americans not only a thirst-quenching beverage but a cultural icon that we have come to claim as our own. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To see Emily Lesk’s complete final draft, click on Student Writing Models. 107 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:10 PM Page 108 108 Writ Process 10b 10b Editing and reflecting Reflect. Research demonstrates a connection between careful reflection and learning: thinking back on what you’ve learned and assessing it help make that learning stick. As a result, first-year college writing courses are increasingly encouraging students to take time for such reflection. Whether or not your instructor asks you to write a formal reflection, whenever you finish a major piece of writing or a writing course, you should make time to think back over the experience and see what lessons you can learn from it. Reflecting on your development as a writer Here are some questions to get you started reflecting productively on your writing: • What lessons have you learned from writing — from an individual piece of writing or from an entire writing course? • From what you have learned, what can you apply to the work you will do in other classes? • What about your writing do you feel most confident about — and why? When did you begin to develop this confidence? • What about your writing do you find needs additional work, and what plans do you have for improving? • What confusions did you have while writing, and what did you do to resolve them? • What major questions do you still have about writing or about an individual piece of writing? • How has writing helped to clarify your thinking, extend your knowledge, or deepen your understanding? • Identify a favorite passage of your writing, and then try to articulate what about it pleases you. Can you apply what you learn from this analysis to other writing situations? • How would you describe your development as a writer? Portfolios You may find it useful — or you may be required — to select samples for inclusion in a print or online portfolio of your written work. In preparing a portfolio, use these tips: • Consider your purpose and audience. Do you want to fulfill course requirements for an instructor, show work to a prospective employer, keep a record of what you‘ve done for personal reasons, or something else? Answering these questions will help you decide what to include in the portfolio and whether it should be in print or electronic form. 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:10 PM Page 109 Reflect 10b Writ Process • Based on the portfolio’s purpose, decide on the number of entries. You may decide to include a wide range of materials — from essays, problem sets, and photos to Web texts, multimedia presentations, a résumé, or anything else that is relevant — if readers can select only the pieces that interest them. For a portfolio that will be read from beginning to end, however, you should limit yourself to five to seven examples of your writing. You might include an academic essay that argues a claim, a personal essay, a brief report, writing based on research, significant correspondence, timed writing, or other work that you think shows your strengths as a writer. • Consider organization. What arrangement — in chronological order, by genre, by topic — will make most sense to readers? • Think carefully about layout and design. Will you include a table of contents or appendices? How will you use color, font and type size, and other elements of graphic design to enhance your portfolio (see Chapter 4)? Remember to label and date each piece of writing in the portfolio to help readers follow along easily. For print portfolios, number pages in consecutive order. • Edit and proofread each piece in your portfolio and the reflective statement (see box below). Ask for responses from peers or an instructor. COMMON ASSIGNMENTS Reflective Statements Research done for this book shows that one of the most common writing assignments in college today is a reflective statement — in the form of a letter, a memo, or a home page — that explains and analyzes the contents of a portfolio. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS OF A REFLECTIVE ASSIGNMENT • Think carefully about the overall impression you want the portfolio to create, and make sure that the tone and style of your reflective statement set the stage for the entire portfolio. • Unless otherwise instructed, include in your cover letter a description of what the portfolio contains and explain the purpose of each piece of writing you have chosen. • Reflect on the strengths and weaknesses of your writing, using specific passages from assignments in your portfolio to provide evidence for each point you make. • Reflect on the most important things you have learned about writing and about yourself as a writer. • Conclude with plans for ongoing improvement in your writing. 109 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:10 PM Page 110 110 Writ Process 10b Editing and reflecting A student’s reflective statement Here is a shortened version of the cover letter that James Kung wrote to accompany his first-year writing portfolio. Student Writer December 6, 2007 James Kung Dear Professor Ashdown: “Writing is difficult and takes a long time.” This simple yet powerful statement has been uttered so many times in our class that it has essentially become our motto. During this class, my persuasive writing skills have improved dramatically, thanks to many hours spent writing, revising, polishing, and thinking about my topic. The various drafts, revisions, and other materials in my portfolio show this improvement. I entered this first-quarter Writing and Rhetoric class with both strengths and weaknesses. I have always written fairly well-organized essays. However, despite this strength, I struggled throughout the term to narrow and define the various aspects of my research-based argument. The first aspect of my essay that I had trouble narrowing and defining was my major claim, or my thesis statement. In my “Proposal for Research-Based Argument,” I proposed to argue about the case of Wen Ho Lee, the Los Alamos scientist accused of copying restricted government documents. I stated, “The Wen Ho Lee incident deals with the persecution of not only one man, but of a whole ethnic group.” You commented that the statement was a “sweeping claim” that would be “hard to support.” I spent weeks trying to rework that claim. Finally, as seen in my “Writer’s Notebook 10/16/07,” I realized that I had chosen the Lee case because of my belief that the political inactivity of Asian Americans contributed to the case against Lee. Therefore, I decided to focus on this issue in my thesis. Later I once again revised my claim, stating that the political inactivity did not cause but rather contributed to racial profiling in the Wen Ho Lee case. I also had trouble defining my audience. I briefly alluded to the fact that my audience was a “typical American reader.” However, I later decided to 04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112)_04_LUN_66490_Pt02_(045-112).qxd 11/30/11 2:10 PM Page 111 Reflect 10b Writ Process address my paper to an Asian American audience for two reasons. First, it would establish a greater ethos for myself as a Chinese American. Second, it would enable me to target the people the Wen Ho Lee case most directly affects: Asian Americans. As a result, in my final research-based argument, I was much more sensitive to the needs and concerns of my audience, and my audience trusted me more. I hope to continue to improve my writing of research-based arguments. Sincerely, James Kung D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For more information on writing portfolios and reflective statements, go to Writing Resources and click on Writing Portfolios. 111 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page ii this page left intentionally blank To repeat what others have said requires education; to challenge it requires brains. — MARY PETTIBONE POOLE Critical Thinking and Argument Critical Thinking and Argument Critical Thinking and Argument 11 Critical Reading 115 a Think critically about written texts 115 b Think critically about visuals 119 12 Analyzing Arguments a b c d e f g 123 Think critically about argument 124 Recognize cultural contexts 125 Identify an argument’s basic appeals 125 Analyze the elements of an argument 126 Analyze visual arguments 127 Think critically about fallacies 129 Critical Thinking and Argument 113–160 13 Constructing Arguments a b c d e f g h i j k 134 STUDENT RHETORICAL ANALYSIS 137 Understand what counts as argument 138 Make a claim and formulate a working thesis 140 Examine your assumptions 140 Shape your appeal to your audience 141 Establish credibility through ethical appeals 141 Use effective logical appeals 143 Use appropriate emotional appeals 147 Consult sources 150 Organize your argument 151 Consider design issues 153 STUDENT ARGUMENT ESSAY 154 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 115 Critical Reading 11 All readers build worlds in their minds made of words and visuals. Think of a time when you were reading or looking at images and suddenly realized that you were not absorbing information but just staring at a jumble of marks on a page or a screen. Only when you went back and concentrated on meaning were you really reading. 11a Think critically about written texts. Reading critically means asking questions about what you are reading. A critical reader does not simply accept what the author says but analyzes why the text is convincing (or not convincing). Writer Anatole Broyard once cautioned readers about the perils of “just walking through” a text. A good reader, he suggested, doesn’t just walk but “stomps around” in a text — highlighting passages, scribbling in the margins, jotting questions and comments. Preview and annotation The article “Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood,” by Louise Story, appeared on pp. A1 and A18 of the New York Times on September 20, 2005. The first portion of the article appears on pp. 116–17, with a student’s preview notes and annotations. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To read the article in its entirety, go to Writing Resources and click on Argument Resources/Critical Reading. Summary Here is how the same student summarized Louise Story’s article. A group of women at Ivy League schools told a reporter who surveyed and interviewed them that they planned to stop working or cut back on work when they had children. The reporter suggests that the women’s responses are evidence of a trend and of “changing attitudes.” 115 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 116 116 Crit Thinking Title suggests author’s conclusion. A new trend? Why is it on the front page? Is Cynthia Liu a typical female student? How can I tell? Main point, as expected from the title. But she’s only one example — how many are like her? Generalizations about how women are “groomed” — but no evidence. How many is “many”? The same word appears in the title. 11a Critical reading Many Women at Elite Colleges Set Career Path to Motherhood BY LOUISE STORY Cynthia Liu is precisely the kind of high achiever Yale wants: smart (1510 SAT), disciplined (4.0 grade point average), competitive (finalist in Texas oratory competition), musical (pianist), athletic (runner) and altruistic (hospital volunteer). And at the start of her sophomore year at Yale, Ms. Liu is full of ambition, planning to go to law school. So will she join the long tradition of famous Ivy League graduates? Not likely. By the time she is 30, this accomplished 19-year-old expects to be a stay-at-home mom. “My mother’s always told me you can’t be the best career woman and the best mother at the same time,’’ Ms. Liu said matterof-factly. “You always have to choose one over the other.” At Yale and other top colleges, women are being groomed to take their place in an ever more diverse professional elite. It is almost taken for granted that, just as they make up half the students at these institutions, they will move into leadership roles on an equal basis with their male classmates. There is just one problem with this scenario: many of these women say that is not what they want. Many women at the nation’s most elite colleges say they have already decided that they will put aside their careers in favor of raising children. Though some of these students are not planning to have children and some hope to have a family and work full time, many others, like Ms. Liu, say they will happily play a traditional female role, with motherhood their main commitment. Much attention has been focused on career women who leave the work force to rear children. What seems to be changing is that while many women in college two or three decades ago expected to have full-time careers, their daughters, while still in college, say they have already decided to suspend or end their careers when they have children. “At the height of the women’s movement and shortly thereafter, women were much more firm in their expectation that they could somehow combine full-time work with child rearing,” said Cynthia E. Russett, a professor of American history who has taught at Yale since Who is Louise Story? See if her article generated any response. Is “many” more than “some”? Who did the writer talk to? Whose stories did she leave out — and why? Who says? Where are the sources for these claims? Expert source — her quotation underscores the main point. Do other experts disagree? 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 117 Think critically about written texts Is it realistic to expect to be able to raise a family without the income from working? “Many” — that word is here a lot. Here’s another student example, but, again, just one person. Wonder why nobody is asking why expectations are different for men? Another student says the same thing. Three so far. D 1967. “The women today are, in effect, turning realistic.” Dr. Russett is among more than a dozen faculty members and administrators at the most exclusive institutions who have been on campus for decades and who said in interviews that they had noticed the changing attitude. Many students say staying home is not a shocking idea among their friends. Shannon Flynn, an 18-yearold from Guilford, Conn., who is a freshman at Harvard, says many of her girlfriends do not want to work full time. “Most probably do feel like me, maybe even tending toward wanting to not work at all,” said Ms. Flynn, who plans to work part time after having children, though she is torn because she has worked so hard in school. “Men really aren’t put in that position,” she said. Uzezi Abugo, a freshman at the University of Pennsylvania who hopes to become a lawyer, says she, too, wants to be home with her children at least until they are in school. “I’ve seen the difference between kids who did have their mother stay at home and kids who didn’t, and it’s kind of like an obvious difference when you look at it,” said Ms. Abugo, whose mother, a nurse, stayed 11a Crit Thinking home until Ms. Abugo was in first grade. While the changing attitudes are difficult to quantify, the shift emerges repeatedly in interviews with Ivy League students, including 138 freshman and senior females at Yale who replied to e-mail questions sent to members of two residential colleges over the last school year. The interviews found that 85 of the students, or roughly 60 percent, said that when they had children, they planned to cut back on work or stop working entirely. About half of those women said they planned to work part time, and about half wanted to stop work for at least a few years. Two of the women interviewed said they expected their husbands to stay home with the children while they pursued their careers. Two others said either they or their husbands would stay home, depending on whose career was furthest along. The women said that pursuing a rigorous college education was worth the time and money because it would help position them to work in meaningful part-time jobs when their children are young or to attain good jobs when their children leave home. . . . 117 Author conducted interviews and an email survey. The sample seems pretty small, though, and comes from a single school. Interview results. What about survey results? How many were sent out and how many completed? The author doesn’t say. 85 + 2 + 2 = 89, and she interviewed 138. What about the others? I wonder if they’re paying for college themselves! bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For the rest of this article, go to Writing Resources and click on Argument Resources/Critical Reading. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 118 118 Crit Thinking 11a Critical reading Analysis Here are some of the student’s notes for an analysis of Louise Story’s New York Times article. Because the student felt that the article — and her response to it — raised many unanswered questions, she decided to research responses to the article as well as information about how the writer came up with the data cited. The evidence for a trend seems pretty skimpy. The reporter interviews several students who indicate that they plan to stop working or work part-time when they have children. The reporter says “many” students feel this way. But according to the numbers the reporter provides, she talked to just 138 people out of an unknown number of responses to an email survey. The reporter doesn’t provide any information about what previous generations of women at Ivy League schools felt about working or staying home with their children either, so there’s no way to identify this point of view as a change in college women’s attitudes — even though the reporter uses the phrase “changing attitudes” twice. TALKING THE TALK Critical Thinking “It seems impolite to criticize. Why do I have to be critical?” Thinking critically does not require you to be relentlessly negative. Instead, critical thinking means, first and foremost, asking good questions — not simply accepting what you see and read at face value. By asking not only what words and images mean but also how meaning gets across, critical thinkers consider why an author makes a particular claim, what an author may be leaving out or ignoring, and how to tell whether evidence is accurate and believable. If you’re asking, and answering, questions like these, then you are thinking critically. EXERCISE 11.1 Following the guidelines in 11a, read one of the assigned essays from your course text or the student essay in Chapter 12 or 13 of this book. Summarize the reading briefly, and note any thoughts you have about your critical reading process (in your writing log, if you keep one). EXERCISE 11.2: THINKING CRITICALLY To think critically about your own writing, try approaching it as a reader. Choose a piece of writing that you completed for an earlier class and that you have not recently read. Using the guidelines for critical reading on p. 120, preview, read, and analyze the writing as objectively as you can. What impression does it make on you as a reader? What questions does it leave you with? Write a one-page report analyzing your piece of writing from a critical reader’s point of view. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 119 Think critically about visuals 11b 11b Crit Thinking Think critically about visuals. Visual images now shape our lives at least as much as words do. The images that bombard us daily influence us to think and behave in certain ways, and images profoundly affect the way we see ourselves and others. So being visually literate — being able to read an image and understand how it aims to persuade or manipulate — is crucial to becoming a critical thinker. Visual literacy requires you to analyze images and the arguments they contain — in the same way that you think critically about words that you read. You ask questions and think about the message the visual conveys and the context in which it was presented. You consider the creator(s) of the image and think about why it was created and for whom. You also look at the design as another way of communicating with readers, considering, for example, how color, size, shape, texture, layout, sound, and other design elements influence the viewer. TALKING THE TALK Visual Texts “How can a picture be a text?” In its traditional sense, a text involves printed words on paper. But in our media-saturated age, we spend at least as much time reading and analyzing images — including moving images — as we spend on printed words. So it makes sense to broaden the definition of text to refer to almost anything that sends a message. That’s why images are often called visual texts. QUESTIONS ABOUT DESIGN • Detail. What do you notice first? Why is your attention drawn to that spot, and what effect does this have on your response? • Composition. How does the composition of the image affect the message? What is in the foreground, and what is in the background? What is in the middle, at the top, and at the bottom of the image? Why might the composition be arranged as it is? What effect do the designer’s choices have on how you feel about what you see? • Color. Does the use of color enhance or conflict with the images and words? Are some parts of the image highlighted with brighter or lighter colors? If so, why? How do you explain the color choices? If the visual is black and white, is that choice appropriate? • Words. If the visual contains both words and images, what is the relationship between the two? How well do they work together? If no words appear, is the message clear without them? Why, or why not? • Repetition. Are any words or images repeated? If so, what is the effect of the repetition? 119 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 120 GAME PLAN Read Critically START with a PREVIEW. What does the TITLE tell me? WHAT do I think about the topic? The MAIN idea is.... READ CAREFULLY. WHAT do I know? Supporting IDEAS are…. WHO’S THIS AUTHOR, ANYWAY? Think about context: WHEN, WHERE, and HOW was this first published? WHERE did this information come from? Look up anything that’s Have I got it? TELL A FRIEND in my own words. ANALYZE the text. Who’s the AUDIENCE supposed to be? SUMMARIZE THE TEXT. What do I LIKE most? Am I part of it? What purpose does this text serve? Do the parts WORK together? What’s assumed? Do the assumptions make sense? Have I gotten what I expected out of this text? Was the text’s PURPOSE accomplished? WHAT ELSE do I need to KNOW? REREAD and CHECK UNDERSTANDING. I’VE KEPT AN OPEN MIND…. I’VE READ CAREFULLY…. I’VE ASKED QUESTIONS…. I HAVE A CRITICAL PERSPECTIVE ON THIS TEXT! 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 121 Think critically about visuals 11b Crit Thinking QUESTIONS ABOUT THE CREATOR • Who created this visual text? What other work has he or she done? • What does the creator’s attitude seem to be toward the visual? What effects do you think the creator intends the image to have on viewers? QUESTIONS ABOUT CONTENT • What is the subject? • How well do visuals explain the subject? QUESTIONS ABOUT CONTEXT • Where and in what form was the visual originally seen — in a magazine, on television, online, or somewhere else? • What can you infer about the message from the place where the visual first appeared? QUESTIONS ABOUT AUDIENCE • Who is the intended audience? Are you part of the group the creator is trying to reach? If so, does the visual affect you as the creator(s) intended? COMMON ASSIGNMENTS Rhetorical Analysis You are almost certain to get some form of analysis assignment during your first year of college. One common variety is the rhetorical analysis assignment, which essentially answers two big questions — What is the purpose of the text you are analyzing? How is that purpose achieved? — and focuses on how the text gets its meaning across. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS OF A RHETORICAL ANALYSIS ASSIGNMENT • Identify the purpose or purposes of the text. If the text has multiple purposes, point out any conflicts. • Identify the primary audience for the text and any secondary audiences, and explore how the text meets audience expectations or needs. • Examine the author’s stance or attitude toward the topic: is it favorable, critical, suspicious, neutral, or mocking? Identify parts of the text where such attitudes are evident, and show how they work to appeal to the audience. • Explain how the text uses deliberate strategies (such as tone, word choice, sentence structure, design, special effects, choice of medium, choice of evidence, and so on) to achieve its purposes. 121 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 122 122 Crit Thinking 11b Critical reading • What assumptions does the visual make about the audience’s values? QUESTIONS ABOUT PURPOSE • Why do you think the visual was created? Does it achieve its purpose? OVERALL IMPRESSION • What works and doesn’t work about the text? • What overall impression does the visual text create? How an image is designed and formatted affects how others will receive it. Look at the striking image on this page, from TurnAround, an Face is second-largest circle — and the first thing that shows this is a child. Big, round eyes — blank and empty? scared? Bull’s-eye gets attention — target is what designer wants viewer to notice. “Cycle” relates to the circles shown in the image. The “cycle of violence” happens when abused children become abusive adults. Words in large headline at the top contradict what the picture shows — a child who literally is a target. Colors are warm skin tones, emphasizing that this is a person. Circles for arms and legs make child look like a doll or marionette. Composition uses nothing but circles. They look nonthreatening and friendly. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 123 Analyzing arguments 12 Argument organization devoted to helping victims of domestic violence. The image builds on an analogy between a child and a target. Note that the design pulls the viewer’s eye toward the bull’s-eye at the center while also taking advantage of the top left-hand position (where readers of English begin) for the caption: “A child is not a target.” The dramatic combination of words and image draws viewers’ eyes back over the child-as-bull’s-eye target and leads to the demand at the bottom: “Stop the cycle of domestic violence.” According to TurnAround, the poster is “intended to strike a chord with abusers as well as their victims.” The tension between the words and the image — the child is, in fact, depicted as a target — can make a close look at this poster an unsettling experience. Analyzing Arguments 12 In one important sense, all language use has an argumentative edge. When you greet friends warmly, you wish to convince them that you are genuinely glad to see them, that you value their presence. Even 123 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 124 124 Argument 12a Analyzing arguments apparently objective news reporting has strong argumentative overtones. By putting a particular story on the front page, for example, a paper argues that this subject is more important than others; by using emotional language or by focusing on certain details, news writers try to persuade us to view an event in a particular way. Consider the different ways reporters might describe the image below, such as an outpouring of support for our troops or a pro-war rally. It’s possible, then, to read any message or text, verbal or visual, as an argument, even if argument is not its primary purpose. In much academic writing, however, argument is more narrowly defined as a text that makes a claim (usually in the form of an arguable statement) and supports it fully. AT A GLANCE Analyzing Arguments • What cultural contexts inform the argument — and what do they tell you about where the writer or creator is coming from? (12b) • What emotional, ethical, and logical appeals does the argument make? (12c) • How does the writer or creator establish credibility? (12c) • What sources does the argument rely on? How current and reliable are they? Are some perspectives left out? What effect does this exclusion have on the argument? (12c) • What claim does the verbal or visual argument make? What reasons and assumptions support and underlie the claim? What additional evidence backs up the assumptions and claim? (12d) • Does the thesis reflect the claim accurately? • What fallacies can you identify, and what effect do they have on the argument’s persuasiveness? (12f) • What overall impression does the argument create? Are you convinced? 12a Think critically about argument. Critical thinking is a crucial component of argument, for it guides us in recognizing, formulating, and examining arguments. Here are some ways to think critically about argument: • Check understanding. First, make sure you understand what is being argued and why. If you need to find out more about an unfamiliar subject to grasp the argument, do the research. • Play the believing — and the doubting — game. Begin by playing the believing game: put yourself in the position of the person creating 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 125 Identify an argument’s basic appeals 12c Argument the argument to see the topic from that person’s point of view as much as possible. Once you have given the argument sympathetic attention, play the doubting game: look skeptically at each claim, and examine each piece of evidence to see how well (or poorly) it supports the claim. Eventually, this process of believing and doubting will become natural. • Ask pertinent questions. Whether you are thinking about others’ ideas or your own, you should question unstated purposes and assumptions, the writer’s qualifications, the context, the goal of the argument, and the evidence presented. What objections might be made to the argument? • Interpret and assess information. All information that comes to us has a perspective — a spin. Your job is to identify the perspective and assess it, examining its sources and finding out what you can about its context. • Assess your own arguments. The ultimate goal of all critical thinking is to reach your own conclusions. These, too, you must question and assess. 12b Recognize cultural contexts. To understand as fully as possible the arguments of others, pay attention to clues to cultural context and to where the writer or creator is coming from. Put yourself in the position of the person creating the argument before looking skeptically at every claim and examining every piece of evidence. Above all, watch out for your own assumptions as you analyze what you read or see. For example, just because you assume that the use of statistics as support for your argument holds more water than, say, precedent drawn from religious belief, you can’t assume that all writers agree with you. Take a writer’s cultural beliefs into account before you begin to analyze an argument. (See Chapter 19.) 12c Identify an argument’s basic appeals. Aristotle categorized argumentative appeals into three types: emotional appeals that speak to readers’ hearts and values (known to the ancient Greeks as pathos), ethical appeals that support the writer’s character (ethos), and logical appeals that use facts and evidence (logos). Emotional appeals Emotional appeals stir our emotions and remind us of deeply held values. When politicians argue that the country needs more tax relief, they 125 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 126 126 Argument 12d Analyzing arguments almost always use an emotional appeal by including examples of one or more families they have met, stressing the concrete ways in which a tax cut would improve the quality of their lives. Although emotional appeals can sometimes manipulate or mislead an audience, they are an important part of almost every argument. Critical readers can judge the effectiveness of emotional appeals and then combat any unfair emotional appeals by analyzing them carefully. Ethical appeals Ethical appeals support the credibility, moral character, and goodwill of the argument’s creator. These appeals are especially important for critical readers to recognize and evaluate. We may respect and admire an athlete, for example, but should we invest in the mutual funds the athlete promotes? To identify ethical appeals in arguments, ask yourself these questions: How does the creator of the argument show that he or she has really done the homework on the subject and is knowledgeable and credible about it? What sort of character does he or she build, and how? More important, is that character trustworthy? What does the creator of the argument do to show that he or she has the best interests of an audience in mind? Do those best interests match your own, and, if not, how does that alter the effectiveness of the argument? Logical appeals Logical appeals are viewed as especially trustworthy: “The facts don’t lie,” some say. Of course, facts are not the only type of logical appeals, which also include firsthand evidence drawn from observations, interviews, surveys and questionnaires, experiments, and personal experience; and secondhand evidence drawn from authorities, the testimony of others, statistics, and other print and online sources. Critical readers need to examine logical appeals just as carefully as emotional and ethical ones. What is the source of the logical appeal — and is that source trustworthy? Are all terms defined clearly? Has the logical evidence presented been taken out of context, and, if so, does that change its meaning? 12d Analyze the elements of an argument. According to philosopher Stephen Toulmin’s framework for analyzing arguments, most arguments contain common features: a claim or claims; reasons for the claim; stated or unstated assumptions that underlie the argument (Toulmin calls these “warrants”); evidence such as facts, authoritative opinion, examples, and statistics; and qualifiers that limit the claim in some way. The figure on p. 127 shows how these elements might be applied to an argument about sex education. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 127 Analyze visual arguments 12e Argument ELEMENTS OF A TOULMIN ARGUMENT ON SEX-EDUCATION Claim: Parents should provide sex education at home and encourage additional education in schools and community centers. Reasons: More than a million teenagers get pregnant every year, almost all unintentionally. Assumptions: Understanding sex helps prevent unwanted pregnancy. Teenagers are not ready to become parents. Qualifiers: The sex education provided should take into consideration the culture and faith of families involved. Evidence: Studies in Sweden, the Netherlands, France, and Canada demonstrate that extensive sex education results in reduced numbers of teen pregnancies. 12e Analyze visual arguments. You analyze a visual argument in much the same way that you analyze any argument. You look closely at the argument’s creator, subject, audience, context, and purpose (11b) and consider cultural values (12b); emotional, ethical, and logical appeals (12c); and claims, reasons, and assumptions (12d). For visual arguments, you must also consider the effects of design and composition. The advertising parody shown on this page contains few words, yet it makes a series of subtle arguments. First, look at the illustration’s design elements. Where is your eye first drawn — to the box, the woman, or the text? What does the box design resemble, and why? What argument do the woman’s clothing and stance make, and what era of American life does the image evoke? What can you learn about the ad’s creator, the nonprofit group Adbusters? What is the ad making fun of? What audience does it aim to reach? What purpose might this parody serve? One group of students discussed this ad and came up with several possible claims that it might be making, as seen on page 128. 127 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 128 128 Argument 12e Analyzing arguments POSSIBLE CLAIM Pharmaceutical companies want to convince consumers that taking drugs to cure depression is no more serious than trying a new detergent. POSSIBLE CLAIM Consumers should beware of drug advertisements that make hard-to-prove claims aimed at getting customers to ask for a prescription. POSSIBLE CLAIM Buying products will not lead to greater happiness. All of these claims can be supported by the ad. If you were to choose the first claim, for instance, you might word a reason like this: This parody of a Prozac ad looks like a detergent commercial from the 1960s, but the product is a chemical that promises to “wash your blues away.” With some research into the actual dangers and benefits of antidepressants, you might find evidence that ads for such drugs sometimes minimize their downside and exaggerate their promise. You might also note that the ad’s design takes viewers back to a decades-old scene of domestic happiness, suggesting that Prozac could return its users to some mythically perfect, brightly colored time in the past — and you would be well on your way to an analysis of this visual argument. AT A GLANCE Analyzing Visual Arguments • How does the design of the visual enhance or hinder the argument? (12e) • What emotional appeals does the argument elicit, and how? (12c) • What ethical appeals make the visual argument credible? Does it call on any authorities or symbols to establish character or credibility? (12c) • How does the visual argument make logical appeals? Do words and images work together to create a logical cause-effect relationship? How are any examples used? (12c) • What claim(s) does the visual argument make? (12d) • What reasons are attached to the claim, and how well are they supported by evidence? (12d) • What assumption(s) underlie the claim and the reasons? (12d) EXERCISE 12.1: THINKING CRITICALLY Take a look at a piece of your writing (an essay, a Web document, a report, a poster, a brochure, and so on) that uses visuals to make an argument. Using the guidelines offered in this chapter, evaluate the effectiveness of your own visual argument. If you have not created such a piece of writing, take a project that does not use visuals to advance its argument and reread it, noting ways that visuals could make the argument more effective. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 129 Think critically about fallacies 12f 12f Argument Think critically about fallacies. Fallacies, which are often quite convincing at first glance, can create serious flaws in an argument. But arguments are ordinarily fairly complex and occur in specific rhetorical situations, so what looks like a fallacy in one argument may not be a fallacy in another. Learn to identify fallacies, but be cautious in jumping to quick conclusions about them. Rather than thinking of them as errors you can use to discredit an arguer, you might think of them as barriers to common ground, honest debate, and understanding. Verbal fallacies AD HOMINEM Ad hominem charges make a personal attack rather than focusing on the issue at hand. 䊳 Who cares what that fat loudmouth says about the health care system? GUILT BY ASSOCIATION Guilt by association attacks someone’s credibility by linking that person with a person or activity the audience considers bad, suspicious, or untrustworthy. 䊳 She does not deserve reelection; her husband had a gambling addiction. FALSE AUTHORITY False authority is often used by advertisers who show famous actors or athletes testifying to the greatness of a product about which they may know very little. 䊳 He’s today’s greatest NASCAR driver — and he banks at National Mutual! BANDWAGON APPEAL Bandwagon appeal suggests that a great movement is under way and the reader will be a fool or a traitor not to join it. 䊳 This new phone is everyone’s must-have item. Where’s yours? FLATTERY Flattery tries to persuade readers by suggesting that they are thoughtful, intelligent, or perceptive enough to agree with the writer. 䊳 You have the taste to recognize the superlative artistry of Bling diamond jewelry. 129 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 130 130 Argument 12f Analyzing arguments IN-CROWD APPEAL In-crowd appeal, a special kind of flattery, invites readers to identify with an admired and select group. 䊳 Want to know a secret that more and more of Middletown’s successful young professionals are finding out about? It’s Mountainbrook Manor condominiums. VEILED THREAT Veiled threats try to frighten readers into agreement by hinting that they will suffer adverse consequences if they don’t agree. 䊳 If Public Service Electric Company does not get an immediate 15 percent rate increase, its services to you may be seriously affected. FALSE ANALOGY False analogies make comparisons between two situations that are not alike in important respects. 䊳 The volleyball team’s sudden descent in the rankings resembled the sinking of the Titanic. BEGGING THE QUESTION Begging the question is a kind of circular argument that treats a debatable statement as if it had been proved true. 䊳 Television news covered that story well; I learned all I know about it by watching TV. POST HOC FALLACY The post hoc fallacy (from the Latin post hoc, ergo propter hoc, which means “after this, therefore caused by this”) assumes that just because B happened after A, it must have been caused by A. 䊳 We should not rebuild the town docks because every time we do, a big hurricane comes along and damages them. NON SEQUITUR A non sequitur (Latin for “it does not follow”) attempts to tie together two or more logically unrelated ideas as if they were related. 䊳 If we can send a spaceship to Mars, then we can discover a cure for cancer. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 131 Think critically about fallacies 12f Argument EITHER-OR FALLACY The either-or fallacy insists that a complex situation can have only two possible outcomes. 䊳 If we do not build the new highway, businesses downtown will be forced to close. HASTY GENERALIZATION A hasty generalization bases a conclusion on too little evidence or on bad or misunderstood evidence. 䊳 I couldn’t understand the lecture today, so I’m sure this course will be impossible. OVERSIMPLIFICATION Oversimplification claims an overly direct relationship between a cause and an effect. 䊳 If we prohibit the sale of alcohol, we will get rid of binge drinking. STRAW MAN A straw-man argument misrepresents the opposition by pretending that opponents agree with something that few reasonable people would support. 䊳 My opponent believes that we should offer therapy to the terrorists. I disagree. Visual fallacies Fallacies can also take the form of misleading images. The sheer power of images can make them especially difficult to analyze — people tend to believe what they see. Nevertheless, photographs and other visuals can be manipulated to present a false impression. MISLEADING PHOTOGRAPHS Faked or altered photos have existed since the invention of photography. On the following page, for example, is a photograph of Joseph Stalin, the Soviet Union’s leader from 1929 to 1953, with his commissar Nikolai Yezhov. Stalin and the commissar had a political disagreement that resulted in Yezhov’s execution in 1940. The second image shows the same photo after Stalin had it doctored to rewrite history. Today’s technology makes such photo alterations easier than ever. But photographs need not be altered to try to fool viewers. Think of all the photos that make a politician look misleadingly bad 131 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 132 132 Argument 12f Analyzing arguments or good. In these cases, you should closely examine the motives of those responsible for publishing the images. MISLEADING CHARTS AND GRAPHS Facts and statistics, too, can be presented in ways that mislead readers. For example, the following bar graph purports to deliver an argument about how differently Democrats, on the one hand, and Republicans and Independents, on the other, felt about an issue: DATA PRESENTED MISLEADINGLY Agree 63 62 61 60 59 58 57 56 55 54 53 62% Democrats 54% 54% Republicans Independents SAMPLING ERROR: +/– 7% pts Look closely and you’ll see a visual fallacy: the vertical axis starts not at zero but at 53 percent, so the apparently large difference between the groups is misleading. In fact, a majority of all respondents agree about the issue, and only eight percentage points separate Democrats from Republicans and Independents (in a poll with a margin of error of +/2 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 133 Think critically about fallacies 12f Argument seven percentage points). Here’s how the graph would look if the vertical axis began at zero: DATA PRESENTED MORE ACCURATELY Agree 100% 90 80 70 60 50 40 30 20 10 0 62% Democrats 54% 54% Republicans Independents EXERCISE 12.2 Read the following brief essay by Derek Bok, which argues that college administrators should seek to educate and persuade rather than censor students who use speech or symbols that others find deeply offensive. Then carry out an analysis of the argument, beginning with identifying the audience and the author’s purpose, then moving to identifying the claim, reason(s), assumption(s), evidence, and qualifiers (if any). As you work, be sure also to identify the emotional, ethical, and logical appeals as well as any fallacies put forward by Bok. You may want to compare your own analysis to the one written by Milena Ateyea in 12g. For several years, universities have been struggling with the problem of trying to reconcile the rights of free speech with the desire to avoid racial tension. In recent weeks, such a controversy has sprung up at Harvard. Two students hung Confederate flags in public view, upsetting students who equate the Confederacy with slavery. A third student tried to protest the flags by displaying a swastika. These incidents have provoked much discussion and disagreement. Some students have urged that Harvard require the removal of symbols that offend many members of the community. Others reply that such symbols are a form of free speech and should be protected. Different universities have resolved similar conflicts in different ways. Some have enacted codes to protect their communities from forms of speech that are deemed to be insensitive to the feelings of other groups. Some have refused to impose such restrictions. Rather than prohibit such communications, with all the resulting risks, it would be better to ignore them, since students would then have little reason to create such displays and would soon abandon them. If this response is not possible — and one can understand why — the wisest course is to speak with 133 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 134 134 Argument 12g Analyzing arguments those who perform insensitive acts and try to help them understand the effects of their actions on others. Appropriate officials and faculty members should take the lead, as the Harvard House Masters have already done in this case. In talking with students, they should seek to educate and persuade, rather than resort to ridicule or intimidation, recognizing that only persuasion is likely to produce a lasting, beneficial effect. Through such effects, I believe that we act in the manner most consistent with our ideals as an educational institution and most calculated to help us create a truly understanding, supportive community. — DEREK BOK, “Protecting Freedom of Expression at Harvard” 12g A student’s rhetorical analysis of an argument For a class assignment, Milena Ateyea was asked to analyze the emotional, ethical, and logical appeals in “Protecting Freedom of Expression at Harvard,” an essay by Harvard president Derek Bok arguing that colleges should seek to persuade rather than to censor students who use speech or symbols that offend others. A Curse and a Blessing In 1991, when Derek Bok’s essay “Protecting Freedom of Expression at Harvard” was first published in the Boston Globe, I had just come to America to escape the oppressive Communist regime in Bulgaria. Perhaps my background explains why I support Bok’s argument that we should not Student Writer Milena Ateyea Provocative title suggests Ateyea’s mixed response to Bok Connects article to her own experience to build credibility (ethical appeal) put arbitrary limits on freedom of expression. Bok wrote the essay in response to a public display of Confederate flags and a swastika at Harvard, a situation that created a heated controversy among the students. As Bok notes, universities have struggled to achieve a balance between maintaining Provides brief overview of Bok’s argument students’ right of free speech and avoiding racist attacks. When choices must be made, however, Bok argues for preserving freedom of expression. In order to support his claim and bridge the controversy, Bok uses a variety of rhetorical strategies. The author first immerses the reader in the controversy by Identifies and states Bok’s central claim Transition sentence links Bok’s claim to strategies he uses to support it 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 135 A student’s rhetorical analysis of an argument 12g Argument vividly describing the incident: two Harvard students had hung Confederate flags in public view, thereby “upsetting students who equate the Confederacy with slavery” (51). Another student, protesting the flags, decided to display an even more offensive symbol--the swastika. These actions Direct quotations show how Bok appeals to emotions through vivid description provoked heated discussions among students. Some students believed that school officials should remove the offensive symbols, whereas others suggested that the symbols “are a form of free speech and should be protected” (51). Bok establishes common ground between the factions: he regrets the actions of the offenders but does not believe we should prohibit such actions just because we disagree with them. The author earns the reader’s respect because of his knowledge and through his logical presentation of the issue. In partial support of his position, Bok refers to U.S. Supreme Court rulings, which remind us that “the display of swastikas or Confederate flags clearly falls within the Shows how Bok establishes common ground between two positions Emphasizes Bok’s credibility and her respect for him (ethical appeal) Links Bok’s credibility to use of logical appeals protection of the free-speech clause of the First Amendment” (52). The author also emphasizes the danger of the slippery slope of censorship when he warns the reader, Reference to First Amendment serves as assumption to Bok’s claim “If we begin to forbid flags, it is only a short step to prohibiting offensive speakers” (52). Overall, however, Bok’s work lacks the kinds of evidence that statistics, interviews with students, and other representative examples of controversial conduct could provide. Thus, his essay may not be strong enough to persuade all readers to make the leap Comments critically on kinds of evidence Bok’s argument lacks from this specific situation to his general conclusion. Throughout, Bok’s personal feelings are implied but not stated directly. As a lawyer who was president of Harvard for twenty years, Bok knows how to present his opinions Reiterates Bok’s credibility respectfully without offending the feelings of the students. However, qualifying phrases like “I suspect that” and “Under the Supreme Court’s rulings, as I read them” could weaken the effectiveness of his position. Furthemore, Bok’s attempt to be fair to all seems to dilute the strength of his proposed Identifies qualifying phrases that may weaken claim 135 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 136 136 Argument 12g Analyzing arguments solution. He suggests that one should either ignore the insensitive deeds in the hope that students might change Analyzes weaknesses of Bok’s proposed solution their behavior, or talk to the offending students to help them comprehend how their behavior is affecting other students. Nevertheless, although Bok's proposed solution to the controversy does not appear at first reading to be very strong, it may ultimately be effective. There is enough flexibility in his approach to withstand various tests, and Bok's solution is general enough that it can change with the Raises possibility that Bok’s imperfect solution may work Provides reasons why Bok’s solution may succeed times and adapt to community standards. In writing this essay, Bok faced a challenging task: to Summarizes Bok’s task write a short response to a specific situation that represents a very broad and controversial issue. Some people may find that freedom of expression is both a curse and a blessing Ties conclusion back to title because of the difficulties it creates. As one who has lived under a regime that permitted very limited, censored expression, I am all too aware that I could not have written this response in 1991 in Bulgaria. As a result, I feel, like Derek Bok, that freedom of expression is a blessing, in spite Concludes by returning to personal experience with censorship and oppression, which argues for accepting Bok’s solution of any temporary problems associated with it. Work Cited Bok, Derek, “Protecting Freedom of Expression on the Campus.” Current Issues and Enduring Questions. Ed. Sylvan Barnet and Hugo Bedau. 6th ed. Boston: Bedford, 2002. 51–52. Rpt. of “Protecting Freedom of Expression at Harvard.” Boston Globe 25 May 1991. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To read other sample argument essays, click on Student Writing Models. EXERCISE 12.3: THINKING CRITICALLY For the following brief review for Rolling Stone, music critic James Hunter recaps five CDs that reissue ten Merle Haggard albums from early in the country star’s career. What central claim(s) does Hunter make in this review? What emotional, ethical, and logical appeals does he present in support of his claim, and how effective are these appeals? 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 137 Constructing arguments 13 Argument Outlaw Classics: The Albums That Kept Nashville Real in the Sixties and Seventies By James Hunter Merle Haggard — Capitol Nashville/EMI Merle Haggard wasn’t the first outsider to rebuke Nashville prissiness in the Sixties — Johnny Cash, who arrived from Sun Records in Memphis, deserves that honor — but Hag was the most down-to-earth soul that the Music City had seen for some time when he loped onto the scene in the mid- to late Sixties. An ex-con from California with Oklahoma roots, he sang eloquently about booze and prison life. His beginnings were in honky-tonk Bakersfield, where he learned first-class musical directness from guys like the great Buck Owens and Wynn Stewart. For years, Haggard’s Sixties and early-Seventies work has been represented chiefly on compilations. This bunch of reissues restores ten of those albums, all with interesting bonus tracks; four of the ten albums have never appeared before on CD. Each showcases Haggard’s awesome gifts and inextricable orneriness: There is no Tennessee gothic or flashy Texas ego to this outsider; Haggard was more about subtlety and West Coast calm. A hummable, elastic honky-tonk tune can convey everything he wants to say. His melodies carry a broad range of topics, from cranky love songs (“I’m Gonna Break Every Heart I Can”) to prison tunes (“Bring Me Back Home”) to perfectly wrought whiskey-and-wine songs, to looks back at his parents’ lives. Sometimes, as on the scarily good “I Can’t Be Myself,” Haggard seems to want to jump out of his own skin; other times, as on “I Threw Away the Rose,” he’s as centered in his own smooth, crusty tenor as any singer has ever been. In all cases, Haggard sounds like country’s coolest customer. These reissues underscore how Haggard’s music far exceeds “Okie from Muskogee,” the anti-hippie 1969 smash that made him internationally famous. Cash rocked country up and then went on to become his world’s black-clad cultural ambassador. George Jones showed how the field needs at least one opera star, and Willie Nelson yoked local songwriting to American poetry. Haggard proved how crucial it was for a country guy to say what was on his mind — and because he was such a sublime recording artist, he was able to make it stick, right from the start. Constructing Arguments 13 We respond to arguments all the time. When we see a STOP sign, for example, and dutifully come to a halt, we’ve agreed to accept the argument that stopping at such signs is a sensible thing to do. Unfortunately, constructing an effective argument of your own is not as easy as putting up a stop sign. In fact, it’s often remarkably difficult to create a thorough and convincing argument. It is especially hard to present arguments to complete strangers in cyberspace. This chapter guides you in taking up the challenges of crafting effective arguments. 137 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 138 138 Argument 13a Constructing arguments AT A GLANCE Reviewing Your Argument • What is the purpose of your argument — to win? to convince others? to explore an issue? (13a) • Is the point you want to make arguable? (13a) • Have you formulated a strong working thesis that includes a clear claim and good reasons? (13b) • Have you considered your audience in shaping your appeals? (13d) • How have you established your own credibility in the argument? (13e) • How have you incorporated logical and emotional appeals into your argument? (13f and g) • If you use visuals, do they help make your argument convincing? (13e, f, and g) • If you use sources, how effectively are they integrated into your argument? (13h) • How is your argument organized? (13i) • What design elements help you make your argument? (13j) 13a Understand what counts as argument. Although winning is an important purpose of argument, it is by no means the only purpose. TO WIN The most traditional purpose of academic argument, arguing to win, is common in campus debating societies, in political debates, in trials, and often in business. The writer or speaker aims to present a position that will prevail over some other position. TO CONVINCE Often, out-and-out defeat of another’s position is not only unrealistic but undesirable. Instead, the goal might be to convince another person to change his or her mind. Doing so calls on a writer to provide compelling reasons for an audience to accept some or all of the writer’s conclusions. TO EXPLORE AN ISSUE Argument to explore an issue or reach a decision seeks a sharing of information and perspectives in order to make informed choices. Checking whether a statement can be argued At school, at home, or on the job, you will often need to convince someone or decide something. To do so, start with an arguable statement, which should meet the three criteria on the following page. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 139 Understand what counts as argument 13a Argument 1. It attempts to convince readers of something, change their minds about something, to urge them to do something — or it explores a topic in order to make a wise decision. 2. It addresses a problem for which no easily acceptable solution exists or asks a question to which no absolute answer exists. 3. It presents a position that readers might realistically have varying perspectives on. TALKING THE TALK Arguments “Argument seems so negative — I don’t want to attack anybody or contradict what someone else says.” Sometimes — in law courts, for example — argument may call for attacking an opponent’s credibility, and you may have used the word argument to describe a conversation in which the speakers said little more than “I did not!” and “You did, too!” But in college writing, argument usually means something much broader. Instead of attacking or contradicting, you will be expected to explore ideas and to work toward convincing yourself as well as others that these ideas are valuable. ARGUABLE Readers should reject women’s magazines with advertising that presents impossibly thin models. This statement seeks to convince readers of a position that not all will agree with. UNARGUABLE Women’s magazines earn millions of dollars every year from advertising that presents impossibly thin models. This statement can easily be verified and thus does not offer a basis for argument. EXERCISE 13.1 Using the three characteristics just listed, decide which of the following statements are arguable and which are not. 1. The Lord of the Rings was the best movie of the last decade. 2. The climate of the earth is gradually getting warmer. 3. The United States must further reduce social spending in order to balance the budget. 4. Shakespeare died in 1616. 5. Marlowe really wrote the plays of Shakespeare. 6. Water boils at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. 7. Van Gogh’s paintings are the work of a madman. 139 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 140 140 Argument 13c Constructing arguments 8. The incidence of breast cancer has risen in the last ten years. 9. The Federal Emergency Management Agency’s response to disasters must be radically improved. 10. A fifty-five-mile-per-hour speed limit lowers accident rates. 13b Make a claim and formulate a working thesis. Although the preceding arguable statement does make a kind of claim — that readers should reject certain magazines — it offers no reason for doing so. To develop a claim that can become the working thesis for an argument, you need to include at least one good reason to support the arguable statement. REASON Excessive dieting can cause psychological problems. WORKING THESIS Because excessive dieting causes psychological problems, we should reject women’s magazines with advertising that presents impossibly thin models. (CLAIM WITH REASON ATTACHED) EXERCISE 13.2 Using two arguable statements from Exercise 13.1 or two that you create, formulate two working theses, identifying the claim, reason(s), and assumption(s) for each. 13c Examine your assumptions. Once you have your working thesis (see also 7b), examine the assumptions that underlie it. Doing so will help test your reasoning and strengthen your argument. WORKING THESIS Because excessive dieting causes psychological problems, we should reject women’s magazines with advertising that presents impossibly thin models. ASSUMPTION 1 Girls and women want to look like the models in ads. ASSUMPTION 2 Girls and women who don’t look like the models in ads go on excessive diets. Having come up with a working thesis, you may want to use qualifiers to make it more precise and thus less susceptible to criticism. The preceding thesis might be qualified this way: 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 141 Establish credibility through ethical appeals 䊳 13e Argument Because excessive dieting can sometimes cause psychological problems, we should reject magazines with advertising that presents impossibly thin models. EXERCISE 13.3 Formulate an arguable statement, and create a working thesis, for two of the following general topics. 1. the Palestinian-Israeli conflict 2. mandatory HIV testing for prison inmates 3. raising the minimum wage 4. reinstatement of a U.S. military draft 5. music downloading 13d Shape your appeal to your audience. Arguments and the claims they make are effective only if they appeal to the appropriate audience. For example, if you want to argue for increased lighting in parking garages on campus, you might appeal to students by citing examples drawn from their experiences of the safety problems in such dimly lit garages. If you are writing to university administrators, however, you might focus on the negative publicity associated with past attacks in campus garages and evoke the anger that such attacks cause in parents, alumni, and other influential groups. 13e Establish credibility through ethical appeals. To make your argument convincing, you must first gain the respect and trust of your readers, or establish credibility with them. In general, writers can establish credibility by making ethical appeals (12c) in four ways. Demonstrating knowledge A writer can establish credibility first by establishing credentials. To decide whether you know enough to argue an issue credibly, consider the following questions: • Can you provide information about your topic from sources other than your own knowledge? • What are the sources of your information, and how reliable are they? 141 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 142 142 Argument 13e Constructing arguments • If sources contradict one another, can you account for or resolve the contradictions? • Would a personal experience relating to the issue help support your claim? These questions may well show that you must do more research, check sources, resolve contradictions, refocus your working thesis, or even change your topic. Establishing common ground Many arguments between people or groups are doomed to end without resolution because the two sides seem to occupy no starting point of agreement. The following questions can help you find common ground in presenting an argument. (See also Chapter 20.) • On this issue, how can you discover opinions that differ from your own? • What are the differing perspectives on the issue? • What aspects of the issue can all sides agree on? • How can you express such common ground clearly to all sides? Can you use other languages or varieties of English to establish common ground with those you address? (See Chapter 21.) FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Counting Your Own Experience You may have been told that your personal experience doesn’t count in making academic arguments. If so, reconsider this advice, for showing an audience that you have relevant personal experience with a topic can carry strong persuasive appeal with many English-speaking readers. Demonstrating fairness In arguing a position, writers must deal fairly with opposing arguments (also called counterarguments). Audiences are more inclined to listen to writers who seem to consider their opponents’ views fairly than to those who ignore or distort such views. Using visuals that make ethical appeals Many universities, nonprofit organizations, and government agencies have followed the lead of business by creating branding images for themselves. A logo, seal, or slogan (such as the logo shown here of the 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 143 Use effective logical appeals 13f Argument Environmental Protection Agency) may be used to give a government agency’s reports, documents, and Web sites an air of strength and believability. The EPA logo suggests that the agency’s publications are backed by the full authority of the federal government. It’s worth remembering, however, that a logo or other visual appeal can be only as credible as the organization that the visual represents. A VISUAL THAT MAKES AN ETHICAL APPEAL EXERCISE 13.4 Using a working thesis you drafted for Exercise 13.2 or 13.3, write a paragraph or two describing how you would go about establishing your credibility in arguing that thesis. 13f Use effective logical appeals. Credibility alone cannot and should not carry the full burden of persuading readers. Indeed, many view the logic of the argument — the reasoning behind it — as equally, if not more, important. Examples, precedents, and narratives Just as a picture can be worth a thousand words, a well-conceived example can be valuable in arguing a point. Examples can support generalizations or bring abstractions to life. In making the general claim that video games equate violence with fun, you might include this example: 䊳 For instance, the makers of Grand Theft Auto present their “thou shalt kill” theme in the name of entertainment. Precedents are examples taken from the past. If, as part of a proposal for increased lighting in the library garage, you point out that the university has increased the lighting in four similar garages in the past year, you’re arguing on the basis of precedent. Narratives are examples that tell a story — and because storytelling is universal, they can be very persuasive in helping readers understand and accept an argument. In arguing for increased funding for the homeless, for instance, you might include a brief narrative about a day in the life of a homeless person to dramatize the issue and help readers see the need for more funding. 143 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 144 144 Argument 13f Constructing arguments The following questions can help you check any example, precedent, or narrative that you use as supporting evidence: • • • • How representative is the example? Is it sufficient to lead to a generalization? In what ways does it support your claim? How well does the example relate to the claim you’re making? Are the situations really similar? • How timely is the example? (What was applicable in 1990 is not necessarily applicable today.) • Will its significance be clear to your readers? • Is the example one of several logical appeals, or does it have to carry the whole burden of the argument? Authority and testimony Another way to support an argument logically is to cite an authority. The use of authority has figured prominently in the controversy over smoking. Since the U.S. surgeon general’s 1964 announcement that smoking is hazardous to health, many Americans have quit smoking, largely persuaded by the authority of the scientists offering the evidence. Ask the following questions to be sure you are using authorities effectively: • Is the authority timely? (The argument that the United States should pursue a policy just because it was supported by Thomas Jefferson will probably fail since Jefferson’s time was so radically different from ours.) • Is the authority qualified to judge the topic at hand? (To cite a movie star in an essay on linguistics may not help your argument.) • Is the authority likely to be known and respected by readers? (To cite an unfamiliar authority without identification will reduce the impact of the evidence.) • Are the authority’s credentials clearly stated and verifiable? (Especially with Web-based sources, it is crucial to know whose authority guarantees the reliability of the information.) Testimony — the evidence that an authority presents in support of a claim — is a feature of much contemporary argument. If testimony is timely, accurate, representative, and provided by a respected authority, then it, like authority itself, can add powerful support. In research writing (see Chapters 14 –18), you should cite your sources for authority and for testimony not based on your own knowledge. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 145 Use effective logical appeals 13f Argument Causes and effects Showing that one event is the cause or the effect of another can help support an argument. Suppose you are trying to explain, in a petition to change your grade in a course, why you were unable to take the final examination. You would probably trace the causes of your failure to appear — your illness or the theft of your car, perhaps — so that the committee reading the petition would reconsider the effect — your not taking the examination. Tracing causes often lays the groundwork for an argument, particularly if the effect of the causes is one we would like to change. In an environmental science class, for example, a student may argue that a national law regulating smokestack emissions from utility plants is needed because (1) acid rain on the East Coast originates from emissions at utility plants in the Midwest, (2) acid rain kills trees and other vegetation, (3) utility lobbyists have prevented midwestern states from passing strict laws controlling emissions from such plants, and (4) in the absence of such laws, acid rain will destroy most eastern forests by 2020. In this case, the fourth point ties all of the previous points together to provide an overall argument from effect: unless X, then Y. Inductive and deductive reasoning Traditionally, logical arguments are classified as using either inductive or deductive reasoning; in practice, the two almost always work together. Inductive reasoning is the process of making a generalization based on a number of specific instances. If you find you are ill on ten occasions after eating seafood, for example, you will likely draw the inductive generalization that seafood makes you ill. It may not be an absolute certainty that seafood is to blame, but the probability lies in that direction. Deductive reasoning, on the other hand, reaches a conclusion by assuming a general principle (known as a major premise) and then applying that principle to a specific case (the minor premise). In practice, this general principle is usually derived from induction. The inductive generalization Seafood makes me ill, for instance, could serve as the major premise for the deductive argument Since all seafood makes me ill, the shrimp on this buffet is certain to make me ill. Deductive arguments have traditionally been analyzed as syllogisms — reasoning that contains a major premise, a minor premise, and a conclusion. MAJOR PREMISE All people die. MINOR PREMISE I am a person. CONCLUSION I will die. 145 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 146 146 Argument 13f Constructing arguments Syllogisms, however, are too rigid and absolute to serve in arguments about questions that have no absolute answers, and they often lack any appeal to an audience. Aristotle’s simpler alternative, the enthymeme, asks the audience to supply the implied major premise. Consider the following example: Since violent video games can be addictive and cause psychological harm, players and their parents must carefully evaluate such games and monitor their use. You can analyze this enthymeme by restating it in the form of two premises and a conclusion. MAJOR PREMISE Games that cause harm to players should be evaluated and monitored. MINOR PREMISE Violent video games can cause psychological harm to players. CONCLUSION These games should be evaluated and monitored. Note that the major premise is one the writer can count on an audience agreeing with or supplying: safety and common sense demand that potentially harmful games be used with great care. By implicitly asking an audience to supply this premise to an argument, a writer engages the audience’s participation. Toulmin’s system (12d) looks for claims, reasons, and assumptions instead of major and minor premises. CLAIM Violent video games should be carefully evaluated and their use monitored. REASON Violent video games can cause psychological harm to players. ASSUMPTION Games that can cause harm to players should be evaluated and monitored. Whether it is expressed as a syllogism, an enthymeme, or a claim, a deductive conclusion is only as strong as the premise or reasons on which it is based. EXERCISE 13.5 The following sentences contain deductive arguments based on implied major premises. Identify each of the implied premises. 1. Active euthanasia is morally acceptable when it promotes the best interests of everyone concerned and violates no one’s rights. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 147 Use appropriate emotional appeals 13g Argument 2. Women should not serve in combat positions because doing so would expose them to a much higher risk of death. 3. Animals can’t talk; therefore they can’t feel pain as humans do. Visuals that make logical appeals Visuals that make logical appeals can be especially useful in arguments, since they present factual information that can be taken in at a glance. As shown on this page, Business Week used a simple bar graph to carry a big message about equality of pay for men and women. Consider how long it would take to explain all the information in this graph with words alone. A VISUAL THAT MAKES A LOGICAL APPEAL EXERCISE 13.6 Using a working thesis you drafted for Exercise 13.2 or 13.3, write a paragraph describing the logical appeals you would use to support the thesis. 13g Use appropriate emotional appeals. Most successful arguments appeal to our hearts as well as to our minds — as is vividly demonstrated by the campaign to curb the AIDS epidemic in Africa. Facts and figures (logical appeals) convince us that the problem is real and serious. What elicits an outpouring of support, however, is the arresting emotional power of stories and images of people living with the disease. But credible writers take particular care when they use emotional appeals; audiences can easily begin to feel 147 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 148 148 Argument 13g Constructing arguments manipulated when an argument tries too hard to appeal to their pity, anger, or fear. Concrete descriptive details Like photographs, vivid words can bring a moving immediacy to any argument. A student may amass facts and figures, including diagrams and maps, to illustrate the problem of wheelchair access to the library. But only when the student asks a friend who uses a wheelchair to accompany her to the library does the student writer discover the concrete details necessary to move readers. The student can then write, “Marie inched her heavy wheelchair up the narrow, steep entrance ramp, her arms straining to pull up the last twenty feet, her face pinched with the sheer effort.” Figurative language Figurative language, or figures of speech, paint a detailed and vivid picture by making striking comparisons between something you are writing about and something else that helps a reader visualize, identify with, or understand it (22d). Figures of speech include metaphors, similes, and analogies. Most simply, metaphors compare two things directly: Richard the LionHearted; old age is the evening of life. Similes make comparisons using like or as: Richard is as brave as a lion; old age is like the evening of life. Analogies are extended metaphors or similes that compare an unfamiliar concept or process to a more familiar one (see p. 81). Visuals that make emotional appeals Visuals that make emotional appeals can also add substance to your argument. To make sure that such visual appeals will enhance your argument, test them out with several potential readers to see how they interpret the appeal. Consider, for example, the photograph on p. 149 of coffins returning from Iraq. Some readers might see this image as making an antiwar argument — but others may well view this image as arguing instead (or also) for patriotism or for respect for sacrifices made in the line of duty. EXERCISE 13.7 Make a list of common human emotions that might be attached to each of the following topics, and suggest appropriate ways to appeal to those emotions in a specific audience you choose to address. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 149 Use appropriate emotional appeals 1. banning drinking on campus 2. airport security 3. disarming land mines 4. attacks on places of worship 5. steroid use among athletes A VISUAL THAT MAKES AN EMOTIONAL APPEAL 13g Argument 149 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 150 150 Argument 13h Constructing arguments EXERCISE 13.8 Using a working thesis you formulated for Exercise 13.2 or 13.3, make a list of the emotional appeals most appropriate to your topic and audience. Then spend ten to fifteen minutes brainstorming, looking for descriptive and figurative language to carry out the appeals. EXERCISE 13.9 Working with two or three classmates, read the following paragraph, and then write a paragraph evaluating its use of description and figurative language as well as its appeal to various audiences. In 1973, all women in the United States became legally entitled to have abortions performed in hospitals by licensed physicians. Earlier, abortions were frequently performed by persons who bore more resemblance to butchers than to doctors. The all-too-common result was serious complications or death for the woman. If the 1973 Supreme Court decision is completely reversed, abortion will not end. Instead, women will again resort to illegal abortions, and there will be a return to the slaughterhouse. Since abortions are going to take place no matter what the law says, why not have them done safely and legally in hospitals instead of in basements and back alleys? The decision to have an abortion is not an easy one to make, and I believe that a woman who makes it deserves to have her wish carried out in the very safest way possible. Critics of abortion stress the importance of the unborn child’s life. At the very least, they should also take the woman’s life and safety into consideration. 13h Consult sources. In constructing a written argument, it is usually necessary — and often essential — to use sources. The key to persuading people to accept your argument is good reasons; and even if your assignment doesn’t specify that you must consult outside sources, they are often the most effective way of finding and establishing these reasons. Sources can help you do the following: • • • • provide background information on your topic demonstrate your knowledge of the topic to readers cite authority and testimony in support of your thesis find opinions that differ from your own, which can help you sharpen your thinking, qualify your thesis if necessary, and demonstrate fairness to opposing arguments 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 151 Organize your argument 13i Argument COMMON ASSIGNMENTS Argument College writing classes concentrate on preparing you to make strong arguments, on asking you to make claims and support them well; in fact, arguments are the most common assignment in composition today. Such assignments almost always either give you a claim to support or refute or ask you to come up with a claim that has no easy solution and that might cause reasonable people to disagree. You may or may not be asked to do research to find evidence to support your argument. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS OF AN ARGUMENT ASSIGNMENT • Make sure that your introduction makes your purpose clear, shows that you are fair and credible, and introduces your claim, usually in the form of an explicit thesis statement. • Support your claim with good reasoning, solid evidence from reliable sources (if you are using research), and effective appeals to your audience. • Take counterarguments and alternative points of view into consideration. • Make the organization straightforward so that readers can follow along easily. • Conclude by summarizing the argument, elaborating on the implications of your claim or thesis, and ending with a strong appeal to your audience. 13i Organize your argument. Once you have assembled good reasons in support of a working thesis, you must present your material convincingly. Although there is no universally favored organizational framework for an argument, you may find one of the following systems useful. The classical system The system of argument often followed by ancient Greek and Roman orators is now referred to as classical. You can adapt the ancient format to written arguments as follows: 1. Introduction • Gain readers’ attention and interest. • Establish your qualifications to write about your topic. • Establish common ground with readers. 151 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 152 152 Argument 13i Constructing arguments • Demonstrate fairness. • State or imply your thesis. 2. Background • Present any necessary background information, including relevant personal narrative. 3. Lines of argument • Present good reasons (including logical and emotional appeals) in support of your thesis. • Present reasons in order of importance, with the most important ones generally saved for last. • Demonstrate ways your argument may be in readers’ best interest. 4. Alternative arguments • Examine alternative points of view. • Note advantages and disadvantages of alternative views. • Explain why one view is better than other(s). 5. Conclusion • Summarize the argument if you choose. • Elaborate on the implication of your thesis. • Make clear what you want readers to think or do. • Reinforce your credibility. The Toulmin system This simplified form of the Toulmin system (12d and 13f) can help you organize an argumentative essay: 1. Make your claim (arguable statement). 䊳 The federal government should ban smoking. 2. Qualify your claim if necessary. 䊳 The ban would be limited to public places. 3. Present good reasons to support your claim. 䊳 Smoking causes serious diseases in smokers. 䊳 Nonsmokers are endangered by others’ smoke. 4. Explain the assumptions that underlie your claim and your reasons. Provide additional explanations for any controversial assumptions. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 153 Consider design issues 13j Argument ASSUMPTION The Constitution was established to “promote the general welfare.” ASSUMPTION Citizens are entitled to protection from harmful actions by others. ADDITIONAL The United States is based on a political system that is supposed to serve the basic needs of its people, including their health. EXPLANATION 5. Provide additional evidence to support your claim (facts, statistics, testimony, and other logical, ethical, or emotional appeals). STATISTICS Cite the incidence of deaths attributed to secondhand smoke. FACTS Cite lawsuits won recently against large tobacco companies, including one that awarded billions of dollars to states in reparation for smoking-related health care costs. FACTS Cite bans on smoking already imposed on indoor public spaces in many cities. AUTHORITY Cite the surgeon general. 6. Acknowledge and respond to possible counterarguments. COUNTER- Smokers have rights, too. ARGUMENT RESPONSE The suggested ban applies only to public places; smokers are free to smoke in private. 7. Finally, draw your conclusion, stated in the strongest way possible. 13j Consider design issues. Most arguments today are carefully designed to make the best use of space, font style and type size, color, and visuals. The following tips will help you produce and design a document that will add to the ethical, logical, and emotional appeals you are making: • Before you begin, check out any conventions that may be expected in the kind of argument you are writing. Look for examples of similar arguments, or ask your instructor for information about such conventions. • To emphasize an important part of your argument, consider using a special design element. For example, you might put a list of essential evidence in a carefully labeled box. 153 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 154 154 Argument 13k Constructing arguments • Choose colors carefully, keeping in mind that colors call up many responses: red for war, for example, or blue for purity. For more on document design, see Chapter 4. EXERCISE 13.10 Using the guidelines in this chapter, draft an argument in support of one of the working theses you formulated in Exercise 13.2 or 13.3. EXERCISE 13.11: THINKING CRITICALLY Using the guidelines in Chapter 9, analyze an argument you’ve recently written or the draft you wrote for Exercise 13.10. Decide what you need to do to revise your argument, and write out a brief plan for revision. 13k A student’s argument essay In this essay, Teal Pfeifer argues that images in the media affect how women see themselves, and she offers a solution to a problem. Her essay has been annotated to point out the various parts of her argument as well as her use of good reasons, evidence, and appeals to logic and emotion. Student Writer Teal Pfeifer D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For additional help with argumentation, go to Writing Resources and click on Argument Resources. To read other sample argument essays, click on Student Writing Models. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 155 A student’s argument essay 13k Argument 155 Pfeifer 1 Teal Pfeifer Professor Rashad English 102 April 13, 2006 Devastating Beauty Collarbones, hipbones, cheekbones--so many bones. She looks at the camera with sunken eyes, smiling, acting beautiful. Her dress is Versace, or Gucci, or Dior, and it is revealing, revealing every bone and Title uses play on words to pique interest joint in her thin, thin body. She looks fragile and beautiful, as if I could snap her in two. I look at her and feel the soft cushion of flesh that surrounds my own joints, my own shoulders and hips that are broad, my own ribs surrounded by skin and muscle and fat. I am not nearly as fragile or graceful or thin. I look away and wonder what kind of selfdiscipline it takes to become beautiful like the model in my magazine. By age seventeen a young woman has seen an average of 250,000 ads featuring a severely underweight woman whose body Opening uses emotional appeals and tries to establish common ground with readers type is, for the most part, unattainable by any means, including extreme ones such as anorexia, bulimia, and drug use, according to Allison LaVoie. The media promote clothing, cigarettes, fragrances, and even food with images like these. In a culture that has become increasingly visual, the images put out for public consumption feature women that are a smaller size than ever before. In 1950, the White Rock Mineral Water girl was 5’4” tall and weighed 140 pounds; now she is 5’10” tall and weighs only 110 pounds, signifying the growing deviation between the weight of models and that of the Presents background information on the problem and cites sources normal female population (Pipher 184). This media phenomenon has had a major effect on the female population as a whole, both young and old. Five to ten million women in America today suffer from an eating disorder related to poor selfimage, and yet advertisements continue to prey on insecurities fueled by a woman’s desire to be thin. Current research shows that “80 percent Introduces problem: ads encourage women’s poor body image 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 156 156 Argument 13k Constructing arguments Pfeifer 2 Good reason for thesis: stringent dieting can cause psychological problems Provides statistical evidence that problem extends across age groups of American women are dissatisfied with their appearance” and that “45 percent of those are on a diet on any given day” (“Statistics”). Yet even the most stringent dieting will generally fail to create the paper-thin body so valued in the media, and continuing efforts to do so can lead to serious psychological problems such as depression. While many women express dissatisfaction with their bodies, they are not the only victims of the emaciated images so frequently presented to them. Young girls are equally affected by these images, if not more so. Eighty percent of girls under age ten have already been on a diet and expressed the desire to be thinner and more beautiful (Slim Hopes). Thus, from a young age, beauty is equated with a specific size. The message girls get is an insidious one: in order to be your best self, you should wear size 0 or 1. The pressure only grows Uses logical appeals more intense as girls grow up. According to results from the Kaiser Family Foundation Survey “Reflections of Girls in the Media,” 16 percent of ten- to seventeen-year-old girls reported that they had dieted or exercised to look like a TV character. Yet two-thirds of teenage girls acknowledged that these thin characters were not an accurate reflection of “real life” (qtd. in Dittrich, “Children”). It is tragic to see so much of the American population obsessed Good reason for thesis: magazines feed obsession with dieting with weight and reaching an ideal that is, for the most part, ultimately unattainable. Equally troubling is the role magazines play in feeding this obsession. When a researcher asked female students from Stanford University to flip through several magazines containing images of glamorized, super-thin models (see Fig. 1), 68 percent of the women felt significantly worse about themselves after viewing the magazine models (qtd. in Dittrich, “Media”). Another study showed that looking at models on a long-term basis leads to stress, depression, guilt, and lowered self- Backs up reasons with research and expert opinion worth (qtd. in Dittrich, “Media”). As Naomi Wolfe points out in The Beauty Myth, thinking obsessively about fat and dieting has actually been shown to change thought patterns and brain chemistry. 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 157 A student’s argument essay 13k Argument 157 Pfeifer 3 Fig. 1. Young woman reading magazine. Personal photograph. How do we reject images that are so harmful to the women and young girls who view them? Legislation regarding what can be printed and distributed is not an option because of First Amendment Considers and rejects alternative solutions rights. Equally untenable is the idea of appealing to the industries that hire emaciated models. As long as the beauty and clothing industries are making a profit from the physically insecure girls and women who view their ads, nothing will change. What, however, might happen if those females stopped buying the magazines that print such destructive images? A boycott is the most effective way to rid the print medium of emaciated models and eliminate the harmful effects they cause. If women stopped buying magazines that target them with such harmful advertising, magazines would be forced to change the kinds of ads they print. Such a boycott would send a clear message: women and girls reject the victimization that takes place every time they look at a skeletally thin model and States working thesis: a boycott would effectively solve problem 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 158 158 Argument 13k Constructing arguments Pfeifer 4 then feel worse about themselves. Consumers can ultimately control what is put on the market: if we don’t buy, funding for such ads will dry up fast. Good reason: boycotts have been effective Presents a precedent/ example as evidence In the past, boycotts have been effective tools for social change. Rosa Parks, often identified as the mother of the modern-day civil rights movement, played a pivotal role in the Montgomery bus boycott in December 1955. When Parks refused to give up her seat to a white bus rider, she was arrested, and this incident inspired the boycott. For more than a year, the vast majority of African Americans in Montgomery chose to walk instead of ride the buses. Many of them were terrorized or harassed, but the boycott was eventually successful: segregation on buses was declared illegal by the U.S. Supreme Court. Between 1965 and 1973, Cesar Chavez also used boycotts successfully to change wage policies and working conditions for Presents a second precedent/ example as evidence millions of Mexicans and Mexican Americans who were being exploited by growers of grapes and lettuce. In his boycott efforts, Chavez moved on two fronts simultaneously: he asked the workers to withhold their labor, and he asked consumers to refrain from purchasing table grapes (and later, lettuce) in order to show their support for the workers. In this situation, not only did the boycott force an industry to improve existing conditions, but it also made the public aware of pressing labor issues. Thus a bond was formed between the workers and the community their labor was benefiting. Appeals directly to audience by using “we” in conclusion As a society, we have much to learn from boycotts of the past, and their lessons can help us confront contemporary social ills. As I have shown, body-image dissatisfaction and eating disorders are rising at an alarming rate among young girls and women in American society. This growing desire for an unrealistically thin body affects Reinforces severity of problem and appeals to emotion our minds and our spirits, especially when we are pummeled dozens of times a day with glamorized images of emaciated and unhealthy women. The resulting anorexia and bulimia that women suffer from 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 159 A student’s argument essay 13k Argument 159 Pfeifer 5 are not only diseases that can be cured; they are also ones that can be prevented--if women will take a solid stand against such advertisements and the magazines that publish them. While we are not the publishers or advertisers who choose the pictures of starving women represented in magazines, we are the ones who decide whether or not these images will be purchased. This is where power lies--in the hands of those who hand over the dollars that support the glorification of unhealthy and unrealistic bodies. It is our choice to exert this power and to reject magazines that promote such images. Restates thesis as a call to action 06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160)_06_LUN_66490_Pt03_(115-160).qxd 11/30/11 2:16 PM Page 160 160 Argument 13k Constructing arguments Pfeifer 6 Works Cited Dittrich, Liz. “About-Face Facts on the Children and the Media.” About-Face. 10 Mar. 2006 <http://www.about-face.org/r/facts/ childrenmedia.shtml>. ---. “About-Face Facts on the Media.” About-Face. 10 Mar. 2006 <http://www.about-face.org/r/facts/media.shtml>. LaVoie, Allison. “Media Influence on Teens.” The Green Ladies. 11 Mar. 2006 <http://kidsnrg.simplenet.com/grit.dev/london/g2_jan12/ green_ladies/media/>. Pipher, Mary. Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls. New York: Ballantine, 1994. Slim Hopes. Dir. Sut Jhally. Prod. Jean Kilbourne. Videocassette. Media Education Foundation, 1995. “Statistics.” National Eating Disorders Association. 2002. 14 Mar. 2006 <http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org>. Wolfe, Naomi. The Beauty Myth. New York: Harper, 2002. Young woman reading magazine. Personal photograph by author. 14 Mar. 2006. Research Research is formalized curiosity. It is poking and prying with a purpose. Research — ZORA NEALE HURSTON Research 14 Preparing for a Research Project a b c d e 15 Doing Research a b c d e 163 Analyze the research assignment 163 Formulate a research question and hypothesis Plan your research 167 Set up a research log 167 Move from hypothesis to working thesis 168 169 Understand different kinds of sources Use the library to get started 171 Find library resources 172 Search the Internet 178 Conduct field research 179 169 16 Evaluating Sources and Taking Notes a b c d e f 165 182 Understand why you should use sources 182 Create a working bibliography 182 Evaluate a source’s usefulness and credibility 184 Read critically and interpret sources 185 Synthesize sources 190 Take notes, and annotate your sources 194 17 Integrating Sources and Avoiding Plagiarism 200 a Decide whether to quote, paraphrase, or summarize 200 b Integrate quotations, paraphrases, and summaries effectively 200 c Integrate visuals effectively 203 d Check for excessive use of source material 204 e Understand why you should acknowledge your sources 205 f Know which sources to acknowledge 205 g Uphold your academic integrity, and avoid plagiarism 206 Research 161–213 18 Writing a Research Project a b c d e f g 208 Refine your writing plans 209 Organize and draft 210 Incorporate source materials 212 Review and get responses to your draft 212 Revise and edit your draft 212 Prepare a list of sources 213 Prepare and proofread your final copy 213 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 163 Preparing for a Research Project 14 Your employer asks you to recommend the best software for a particular project. You want to plan a week’s vacation in Montreal. Your instructor assigns a term paper about a musician. Each of these situations calls for research, for examining various kinds of sources. Preparing to begin your research means taking a long look at what you already know, the best way to proceed, and the amount of time you have to find out what you need to know. For success in college and beyond, you need to understand how to start the process of academic research. 14a Analyze the research assignment. In an introductory writing course, you might receive an assignment like this one: Choose a subject of interest to you, and use it as the basis for a research essay of approximately two thousand words that makes and substantiates a claim. You should use a minimum of five sources, including at least three print sources. Topic If your assignment doesn’t specify a topic, consider the following questions (see also 5c): • What subjects do you already know something about? Which of them would you like to explore more fully? • What subjects do you care about? What might you like to become an expert on? • What subjects evoke a strong reaction from you, whether positive or negative? Be sure to get responses about your possible topic from your instructor, classmates, and friends. Ask them whether they would be interested in 163 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 164 164 Research 14a Preparing for a research project reading about the topic, whether it seems manageable, and whether they know of any good sources for information on the topic. Situation Be sure to consider the rhetorical situation (context) of any research project. Here are detailed questions to think about: AUDIENCE • Who will be the audience for your research project (5c)? • Who will be interested in the information you gather, and why? What will they want to know? What will they already know? • What do you know about their backgrounds? What assumptions might they hold about the topic? • What response do you want from them? • What kinds of evidence will you need to convince them? • What will your instructor expect? PURPOSE • If you can choose the purpose, what would you like to accomplish (5d)? • If you have been assigned a specific research project, keep in mind the key words in that assignment. Does the assignment ask that you describe, survey, analyze, persuade, explain, classify, compare, or contrast? What do such words mean in this field? YOUR POSITION ON THE TOPIC • What is your attitude toward your topic? Are you curious about it? critical of it? Do you like it? dislike it? find it confusing? • What influences have shaped your position (5e)? SCOPE • How long is the project supposed to be? Base your research and writing schedule on the scale of the finished project (a short versus a long paper or presentation, a simple versus a complex Web site) and the amount of time you have to complete it. • How many and what kind(s) of sources should you use (15a)? What kind(s) of visuals — charts, maps, photographs, and so on — will you need? Will you do any field research — interviewing, surveying, or observing (15e)? 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 165 Formulate a research question and hypothesis 14b Research Here is a sample schedule for a research project: Get Analyze assignassignment. ment; choose topic. Set up research log. Find & evaluate sources; read, analyze, & take notes. Draft working thesis Write first draft. Revise draft. Edit, spell check, & proofread. Develop research question & hypothesis. Locate or develop visuals. Start working bibliography. Plan search strategy. Write explicit thesis; plan writing. Get reviewer opinions. Do more research if necessary. Prepare list of works cited. Revise draft again. Doublecheck sources. FINAL PROJECT DUE. EXERCISE 14.1 Come up with at least two topics you would like to carry out research on. Then write a brief response to some key questions about each topic: How much information do you think is available on this topic? What sources on this topic do you know about or have access to? Who would know about this topic — historians, doctors, filmmakers, psychologists, others? 14b Formulate a research question and hypothesis. Once you have analyzed your task, chosen your topic, and narrowed the topic to make it manageable (see 7a), formulate a research question that you can tentatively answer with a hypothesis. The hypothesis, a 165 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 166 166 Research 14b Preparing for a research project statement of what you anticipate your research will show, needs to be manageable, interesting, and specific (see 7c). In addition, it must be a debatable proposition that you can prove or disprove with a reasonable amount of research evidence. David Craig, the student whose research paper appears in Chapter 51, made the following move from general topic to a narrowed topic and then to a research question and hypothesis: TOPIC Electronic messaging NARROWED TOPIC The language of messaging ISSUE The effect of messaging on youth literacy RESEARCH QUESTION How has the popularity of messaging affected literacy among today’s youth? HYPOTHESIS Messaging seems to have a negative influence on the writing skills of young people. COMMON ASSIGNMENTS Proposal Proposal assignments often ask you to take on a problem and find a solution for it. You may be asked to write a proposal as part of a larger project, especially a major research project. SPECIAL CONSIDERATIONS OF A PROPOSAL ASSIGNMENT • Think of your proposal as an answer to a problem that exists. Define or describe that problem in a way that makes it important to your audience. • Provide ample evidence and examples from research, personal experience, or other sources to illustrate the problem. • Introduce your proposal as a way to address the problem effectively. • Explain your proposal thoroughly, showing how it responds to the problem and how it will solve it. Consider counter-proposals, and show that yours is a better answer. • Show that what is being proposed is in your audience’s best interest. EXERCISE 14.2 Using the tips provided in 14b, write down as much as you can about one of the topics you identified in Exercise 14.1. Then take some time to reread your notes, and jot down the questions you still need to answer as well as the sources you need to find. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 167 Set up a research log 14c 14d Research Plan your research. Once you have formulated a hypothesis, determine what you already know about your topic. Tap your memory for sources by listing everything you can remember about where you learned about your topic: the Internet, text messages, books, magazines, courses, conversations, television. What you know comes from somewhere, and that somewhere can serve as a starting point for your research. (See Chapter 6 for more strategies for exploring ideas and getting your initial thoughts about a topic down on paper.) Next, develop a research plan by answering the following questions: • What kinds of sources (books, journal articles, databases, Web sites, government documents, reference works, and so on) will you need to consult (15a)? How many sources should you consult? • How current do your sources need to be? (For topical issues, especially those related to science, current sources are usually most important. For historical subjects, older sources may offer the best information.) • How can you determine the location and availability of the kinds of sources you need? One goal of your research plan is to build a strong working bibliography (16b). Carrying out systematic research and keeping careful notes on your sources will make developing your works-cited list or bibliography easier. 14d Set up a research log. Keeping a research log will make the job of writing and documenting your sources more efficient and accurate. Use your research log to jot down ideas about possible sources and to keep track of materials. When you record an online source in your log, include the URL or other information that will help you find the source again. Here are a few guidelines for setting up a research log: 1. Create a folder, and label it with a name that will be easy to identify, such as Research Log for Project on Instant Messaging. 2. Within this folder, create subfolders that will help you manage your project. These subfolders might include Notes on Hypothesis and Thesis, Background Information, Visuals, Draft 1, Working Bibliography, and so on. You might prefer to begin a Web log (blog) for your research project. You can use it to record your thoughts on the reading you are doing and, 167 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 168 168 Research 14e Preparing for a research project especially, add links from there to Web sites, documents, and articles you have found online. (For more on blogs, see 2d.) Whatever form your research log takes, you must clearly distinguish the notes and comments you make from quoted passages you record. 14e Move from hypothesis to working thesis. As you gather information, search catalogs and databases, and read and evaluate sources, you will probably refine your research question and change your hypothesis significantly. Only after you have explored your hypothesis, tested it, and sharpened it by reading, writing, and talking with others does it become a working thesis. David Craig, the student whose hypothesis appears in 14b, did quite a bit of research on messaging language, youth literacy, and the possible connection between the two. The more he read, the more he felt that the hypothesis suggested by his discussion with instructors — that messaging had contributed to a decline in youth literacy — did not hold up. He shifted his attention to the positive effects of messaging on communication skills and developed the following working thesis: “Although some educators criticize messaging, it may aid literacy by encouraging young people to use words and to write — even if messaging requires a different kind of writing.” In doing your own research, you may find that your interest shifts, that a whole line of inquiry is unproductive, or that your hypothesis is simply wrong. The process of research pushes you to learn more about your hypothesis and to make it more precise. EXERCISE 14.3: THINKING CRITICALLY If you have done research for an essay or research project before, go back and evaluate the work you did as a researcher and as a writer in light of the principles developed in this chapter. What was the purpose of the research? Who was your audience? How did you narrow and focus your topic? What kinds of sources did you use? Did you use a research log? What about your research and your essay pleased you most? What pleased you least? What would you do differently if you were to revise the essay now? EXERCISE 14.4: THINKING CRITICALLY Begin to analyze the research project you are now working on by examining the ways in which you conducted your research: What use did you make of primary and secondary sources? What library, online, and field research did you carry out? What aspect of the research process was most satisfying? What was most disappointing or irritating? How could you do research more efficiently? Bring your answers to these questions to class. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 169 Doing Research 15 How would you find out where to get the best coffee in town, or how to find sources for a Web project on a 1930s film star? Whether you are researching pizza or Picasso, you need to be familiar with the kinds of sources you are likely to use, the searches you can perform, and the types of research you will do most often: library, Internet, and field research. 15a Understand different kinds of sources. Sources can include data from interviews and surveys, books and articles in print and online, Web sites, film, video, images, and more. Consider these important differences among sources. Primary and secondary sources Primary sources provide firsthand knowledge, while secondary sources report on or analyze the research of others. Primary sources are basic sources of raw information, including your own field research; films, works of art, or other objects you examine; literary works you read; and eyewitness accounts, photographs, news reports, and historical documents (such as letters and speeches). Secondary sources are descriptions or interpretations of primary sources, such as researchers’ reports, reviews, biographies, and encyclopedia articles. Often what constitutes a primary or secondary source depends on the purpose of your research. A critic’s evaluation of a film, for instance, serves as a secondary source if you are writing about the film but as a primary source if you are studying the critic’s writing. Scholarly and popular sources While nonacademic sources like magazines can help you get started on a research project, you will usually want to depend more heavily on authorities in a field, whose work generally appears in scholarly journals in print or online. The list on the following page will help you distinguish scholarly and popular sources. 169 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 170 170 Research 15a Doing research SCHOLARLY POPULAR Title often contains the word Journal Journal usually does not appear in title Source available mainly through libraries and library databases Source generally available outside of libraries (at newsstands or from a home Internet connection) Few commercial advertisements Many advertisements Authors identified with academic credentials Authors are usually journalists or reporters hired by the publication, not academics or experts Summary or abstract appears on first page of article; articles are fairly long No summary or abstract; articles are fairly short Articles cite sources and provide bibliographies Articles may include quotations but do not cite sources or provide bibliographies Older and more current sources Most projects can benefit from both older, historical sources and more current ones. Some older sources are classics, essential for understanding later scholarship. Others are simply dated. Whether a source appeared 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 171 Use the library to get started 15b Research hundreds of years ago or this morning, evaluate it carefully to determine how useful it will be for you. 15b Use the library to get started. Many beginning researchers are tempted to assume that all the information they could possibly need is readily available on the Internet from a home connection. However, it is a good idea to begin almost any research project with the sources available in your college library. Reference librarians One particularly valuable resource is your library staff — especially reference librarians. You can make an appointment to talk with a librarian about your research project and get specific recommendations about databases and other helpful places to begin your research. In addition, many libraries have online tours and chat environments where students can ask questions about their research. Catalogs and databases Your library’s computers hold many resources not accessible to students except through the library’s system. In addition to the library’s own catalog of books and other holdings, most college libraries also subscribe to a large number of databases — electronic collections of information, such as indexes to journal and magazine articles, texts of news stories and legal cases, lists of sources on particular topics, and compilations of statistics — that students can access for free. TALKING THE TALK Wikis as Sources “Why doesn’t my instructor want me to use Wikipedia as a source?” Wikis are sites that users can add to and edit as they see fit; as a result, their contents are not always reliable. It’s true that Wikipedia, a hugely popular site, has such a large and enthusiastic audience that users are likely to catch mistakes and remove deliberately false information quickly. But you can never be certain that a wiki entry has not been tampered with. Use wikis as sources for preliminary research and then make sure that you double-check any information you find there. 171 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 172 172 Research 15c Doing research Reference works Consulting general reference works is another good way to get started on a research project that is unfamiliar to you. These works are especially helpful for getting an overview of a topic, identifying subtopics, finding more specialized sources, and identifying useful keywords for electronic searches. ENCYCLOPEDIAS Encyclopedias offer general background on a subject and often include bibliographies that can point you to more specialized sources. Remember that encyclopedias will serve as a place to start your research — not as major sources for a research project. BIOGRAPHICAL RESOURCES The lives and historical settings of famous people are the topics of biographical dictionaries and indexes. ALMANACS, YEARBOOKS, AND ATLASES Almanacs and yearbooks contain data on current events and statistical information. Look in an atlas for maps and other geographic data. 15c Find library resources. The library is one of a researcher’s best friends, especially in an age of electronic communication. Your college library houses a great number of print materials and gives you access to electronic catalogs, indexes, and databases. Catalogs and databases The most important tools your library offers are its online catalog and databases. Searching these tools will always be easier and more efficient if you use carefully chosen words to limit the scope of your research. SUBJECT WORD SEARCHING Catalogs and databases usually index their contents not only by author and title, but also by subject headings — standardized words and phrases used to classify the subject matter of books and articles. (For books, most U.S. academic libraries use the Library of Congress Subject Headings, or LCSH, for this purpose.) When you search the catalog by subject, you need to use the exact subject words. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 173 Find library resources 15c Research KEYWORD SEARCHING Searches using keywords, on the other hand, make use of the computer’s ability to look for any term in any field of the electronic record. In article databases, a keyword search will look in abstracts and summaries of articles as well. Keyword searching is less restrictive, but you will need to put some thought into choosing your search terms to get the best results. ADVANCED SEARCHING Many library catalogs and database search engines offer advanced search options (sometimes on a separate page) to help you combine keywords, search for an exact phrase, or exclude items containing particular keywords. Often they can limit your search in other ways as well. Many catalogs and databases offer a search option using the Boolean operators AND, OR, and NOT, and some allow you to use parentheses to refine your search or wildcards to expand it. Note that much Boolean decision making is done for you when you use an advanced search option (as on the advanced search page shown below). Note, too, that search engines vary in the exact terms and symbols they use to refine searches, so check before you search. limits your search. If you enter the terms IM AND language AND literacy, the search engine will retrieve only those items that contain all the terms. Some search engines use a plus sign (+) instead of AND. • OR expands your search. If you enter the terms messaging OR language, the computer will retrieve every item that contains the term messaging and every item that contains the term language. • AND Advanced search page from a library catalog that incorporates Boolean operators 173 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 174 174 Research • 15c Doing research limits your search. If you enter the terms messaging NOT language, the search engine will retrieve every item that contains messaging except those that also contain the term language. Some search engines use a minus sign (– ) or AND NOT instead of NOT. • Parentheses customize your search. Entering messaging AND (literacy OR linguistics), for example, will locate items that mention either of those terms in connection with messaging. • Wildcards expand your search. Use a wildcard, usually an asterisk (*) or a question mark (?), to find related words that begin with the same letters. Entering messag* will locate message, messages, and messaging. • Quotation marks narrow your search. Most search engines interpret words within quotation marks as a phrase that must appear with the words in that exact order. NOT Books CATALOG INFORMATION The library catalog lists all the library’s holdings and offers multiple entries (usually including entries arranged by author, title, subject, ISBN, and so on) that users can search. You can also search the catalog by using a combination of subject headings and keywords. Such searches may turn up several useful titles on your topic. Following are a search page and a page of results for noted linguist and author David Crystal: Library catalog search page 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 175 Find library resources 15c Research Total number of items in catalog for author David Crystal Items on this catalog page Call number Location Results for author search in library catalog database Catalog entries for books list a call number that indicates how the book is classified and where it is shelved. Once you have the call number for a book, look for a library map or shelving plan to tell you where the book is housed. Take the time to browse through the books near the call number you are looking for. Often you will find other books related to your topic in the immediate area. BOOK INDEXES Indexes can help you quickly locate complete bibliographic information on a book when you know only one piece of it — the author’s last name, perhaps, or the title — and can alert you to other works by a particular author or on a particular subject. If you are looking for an older book, you may find the information you need in print volumes rather than in an electronic database. REVIEW INDEXES A review index will help you find reviews of books you are interested in so that you can check the relevance of a source or get a thumbnail sketch of its contents before you track it down. For reviews more than ten years old, you will generally need to consult the print version of the index. PERIODICAL ARTICLES Titles of periodicals held by a library appear in its catalog, but the titles of individual articles do not. To find the contents of periodicals, you will need to use an index source. 175 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 176 176 Research 15c Doing research PERIODICAL INDEXES Periodical indexes are databases or print volumes that hold information about articles published in newspapers, magazines, and scholarly journals. Different indexes cover different groups of periodicals. Ask a reference librarian for guidance about the most relevant index for your topic. Some electronic periodical indexes offer the full text of articles and some offer abstracts (short summaries) of the articles. Be sure not to confuse an abstract with a complete article. Full-text databases can be extremely convenient — you can read and print out articles directly from the computer, without the extra step of tracking down the periodical in question. However, don’t limit yourself to full-text databases, which may not include the sources that would benefit your research most. Databases that offer abstracts give you an overview of the article’s contents that can help you decide whether you need to spend time finding and reading the full text. GENERAL INDEXES General indexes of periodicals list articles from generalinterest magazines (such as Time or Newsweek), newspapers, or a combination of these. General indexes usually provide current sources on a topic, but you may need to look further for in-depth articles. Frequently used general indexes include InfoTrac and LexisNexis, which can both be used to access a vast collection of newspapers, magazines, and scholarly journals. SPECIALIZED INDEXES AND ABSTRACTS Many disciplines have specialized indexes and abstracts to help researchers find detailed information. To use these resources most efficiently, ask a reference librarian to help you. Many of the most common discipline-specific online databases are listed in the following box. AT A GLANCE Discipline-Specific Online Databases HUMANITIES SOCIAL SCIENCES ABC-CLIO ERIC EBSCOhost EBSCOhost EBSCOhost Humanities Index Government Documents Catalog Services (GDCS) General Science Index JSTOR MLA Bibliography Project Muse ProQuest GPO Access JSTOR PAIS International ProQuest PsycInfo NATURAL AND APPLIED SCIENCES JSTOR BUSINESS EBSCOhost Periodical Abstracts ProQuest 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 177 Find library resources 15c Research ACCESS TO INDEXED PERIODICAL ARTICLES To locate an indexed article that seems promising for your research project, you can check the library catalog to see whether the periodical is available electronically and, if so, whether your library has access to it. Using the library computer network for access can help you avoid paying to view the text of the article that is available online only for subscribers or for a fee. If the periodical is not available electronically (some scholarly journals, for example, are not), the library catalog also will tell you whether a print version is available in your library’s periodicals room. This room probably has recent issues of hundreds or even thousands of newspapers, magazines, and scholarly journals, and it may also contain bound volumes of past issues and microfilm copies of older newspapers. Bibliographies Bibliographies (lists of sources) in books or articles you are using for your research can lead you to other valuable resources. In addition, check with a reference librarian to find out whether your library has more extensive bibliographies devoted to the area of your research. Other library resources In addition to books and periodicals, libraries give you access to many other useful materials that might be appropriate for your research. • Special collections and archives. Your library may house archives (collections of valuable papers) and other special materials that are often available to student researchers. Keyword search box Database being searched Number of articles found Results of search in a specialized index 177 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 178 178 Research 15d Doing research • Audio, video, multimedia, and art collections. Many libraries have areas devoted to media and art, where they collect films, videos, paintings, and sound recordings. • Government documents. Many libraries have collections of historical documents produced by local or state government offices. You can also look at the online version of the U.S. Government Printing Office (GPO Access) for electronic versions of government publications from the past decade or so. • Interlibrary loans. To borrow books, videos, copies of journal articles, or audio materials from another library, use an interlibrary loan. Some loans can take time, so be sure to plan ahead. 15d Search the Internet. The Internet is many college students’ favorite way of accessing information, and it’s true that much information — including authoritative sources identical to those your library provides — can be found online, sometimes for free. However, information in library databases comes from identifiable and professionally edited sources; because no one is responsible for regulating information on the Web, you need to take special care to find out which information online is reliable and which is not. (See Chapter 16 for more on evaluating sources.) Internet searches Research using a search tool such as Google usually begins with a keyword search. Because the Internet contains vastly more material than the largest library catalog or database, Internet searching requires care in the choice of keywords. For example, if you need information on legal issues regarding the Internet and enter Internet and law as keywords in a Google search, you will get over three million hits. You may find what you need on the first page of hits, but if not, you will need to choose new keywords that lead to more specific sources. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To find links to search engines, go to Research Resources and click on Links. Bookmarking tools Today’s powerful bookmarking tools can help you browse, sort, and track resources online. Social bookmarking sites, such as Del.icio.us and Digg, allow users to tag information and share it with others. Once you register on a social bookmarking site, you can tag an online resource with any words you choose. Users’ tags are visible to all other users. If you find a helpful 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 179 Conduct field research 15e Research site, you can check to see how others have tagged it and quickly browse similar tags to find related information. You can sort and group information according to your tags. Fellow users whose tags you like and trust can become part of your network so that you can follow their sites of interest. Web browsers can also help you bookmark and return to online resources that you have found. However, unlike the bookmarking tools in a Web browser, which are tied to one machine, social bookmarking tools are available from any computer with an Internet connection. A social bookmarking tool Authoritative sources online You can find many sources online that are authoritative and reliable. For example, the Internet enables you to enter virtual libraries that allow access to some collections in libraries other than your own. Online collections housed in government sites can also be reliable and useful sources. The Library of Congress, the National Institutes of Health, and the U.S. Census Bureau, for example, have large online collections of articles. For current national news, consult online versions of reputable newspapers such as the Washington Post or the Chicago Tribune, or electronic sites for news services such as C-SPAN. To limit your searches to scholarly works, try Google Scholar. Some scholarly journals (such as those from Berkeley Electronic Press) and general-interest magazines (including Slate and Salon) are published only on the Web, and many other publications, like Newsweek, the New Yorker, and the New Republic, make at least some of their contents available online for free. D 15e bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To find links to online governmental collections and sites for newspapers and other media, go to Reference Resources and click on Links. Conduct field research. For many research projects, particularly those in the social sciences and business, you will need to collect field data. The “field” may be many things — a classroom, a church, a laboratory, or the corner grocery 179 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 180 180 Research 15e Doing research store. As a field researcher, you will need to discover where you can find relevant information, how to gather it, and who might be your best providers of information. Interviews Some information is best obtained by asking direct questions of other people. If you can talk with an expert — in person, on the telephone, or via the Internet — you might get information you could not obtain through any other kind of research. In addition to getting an expert opinion, you might ask for firsthand accounts or suggestions of other places to look or other people to consult. AT A GLANCE Conducting an Interview 1. Determine your purpose, and be sure it relates to your research question and your hypothesis. 2. Set up the interview well in advance. Specify how long it will take, and if you wish to tape-record the session, ask permission to do so. 3. Prepare a written list of factual and open-ended questions. Brainstorming or freewriting can help you come up with questions (6a and b). Leave plenty of space for notes after each question. If the interview proceeds in a direction that seems fruitful, do not feel that you have to ask all of your prepared questions. 4. Record the subject, date, time, and place of the interview. 5. Thank those you interview, either in person or in a letter or email. Observation Trained observers report that making a faithful record of an observation requires intense concentration and mental agility. Moreover, an obAT A GLANCE Conducting an Observation 1 Determine the purpose of the observation, and be sure it relates to your research question and hypothesis. 2. Brainstorm about what you are looking for, but don’t be rigidly bound to your expectations. 3. Develop an appropriate system for recording data. Consider using a split notebook or page: on one side, record your observations directly; on the other, record your thoughts and interpretations. 4. Record the date, time, and place of the observation. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 181 Conduct field research 15e Research server is never neutral — he or she always has an angle on what is being observed. Opinion surveys Surveys usually depend on questionnaires. On any questionnaire, the questions should be clear and easy to understand and designed so that you can analyze the answers easily. Questions that ask respondents to say yes or no or to rank items on a scale are particularly easy to tabulate: The parking facilities on our campus are adequate. Strongly agree Somewhat agree Unsure Somewhat disagree Strongly disagree AT A GLANCE Designing a Questionnaire 1. Write out your purpose, and review your research question and hypothesis to determine the kinds of questions to ask. 2. Figure out how to reach the respondents you need. 3. Draft potential questions, and make sure that each question calls for a short, specific answer. 4. Test the questions on several people, and revise questions that seem unfair, ambiguous, too hard to answer, or too time consuming. 5. For a questionnaire that is to be mailed, draft a cover letter explaining your purpose. Provide a self-addressed, stamped envelope, and be sure to state a deadline. 6. On the final version of the questionnaire, leave adequate space for answers. 7. Proofread the questionnaire carefully. Analyzing, synthesizing, and interpreting data from field research To make sense of your data, find a focus for your analysis, since you can’t pay attention to everything. Then synthesize the data by looking for recurring words or ideas that fall into patterns. Establish a system for coding your information, labeling each pattern you identify — a plus sign for every positive response, for example. Finally, interpret your data by summing up the meaning of what you have found. What is the significance of your findings? Be careful not to make big generalizations. 181 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 182 16 Evaluating Sources and Taking Notes All research builds on the careful and sometimes inspired use of sources — that is, on research done by others. Whether you are doing research to identify the most affordable laptop, to persuade your college administration to improve campus safety, or to prepare a strong academic argument for a class, you will want to make the most of your sources. In other words, you will want to use the insights you gain from your sources to help you create powerful prose of your own. 16a Understand why you should use sources. While all research draws on sources, it is worth thinking about why writers decide to use one source rather than another. What specifically can sources provide for your research projects? • background and contextual information that sets the scene for your project or that your audience will need to follow your argument • explanations of concepts unfamiliar to your audience • verbal and visual emphasis for points you are making • authority for the claims you are making, which in turn helps you create your own authority • evidence to support your claims • counter-examples or counter-evidence that you need to reflect on and respond to in your own argument • varying perspectives on your topic 16b Create a working bibliography. A working bibliography is a list of sources that you are considering using for your project. As you find research sources –– articles, books, Web sites, and so on –– you should record source information for every source you think you might use. Include everything you need to find the source again and cite it correctly; the information you will need varies based on the type of source, whether you found it in a library or not, and whether you consulted it in print or online. The emphasis in a working bibliography is on working because the list will probably include materials that end up not being useful. For this reason, you don’t absolutely need to put all entries into the documentation style you will use (see Chapters 48–54). 182 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 183 Create a working bibliography 16b Research If you do style your entries appropriately, however, that part of your work will be done when you prepare the final draft. Record the following information if it’s available: FOR A BOOK FOR A PERIODICAL ARTICLE Call number Author(s) or editor(s) Title and subtitle Place of publication Publisher Year of publication Other (translator, volume, edition) Call number of periodical Author(s) of article Title of article Name of periodical Volume number Issue number Date of issue Inclusive page numbers for article FOR PART OF A BOOK Call number Author(s) of part Title of part Author(s) or editor(s) of book Title of book Place of publication Publisher Year of publication Inclusive page numbers for part you are using FOR AN ELECTRONIC SOURCE Author(s) Title of document Title of site Editor(s) of site Sponsor of site Publication information for print version of source Name of database or online service Date of electronic publication or last update Date you accessed the source URL TALKING THE TALK Research with an Open Mind “What’s wrong with looking for sources that back up what I want to say?” When you start researching a topic, keep an open mind: investigate every important source, even if you think you won’t agree with it. If all your sources take the same position you take, you may be missing a big part of the picture. Who knows? You may change your position after learning more about the topic. And even if you don’t, ignoring counterarguments and other points of view harms your credibility. 183 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 184 184 Research 16c Evaluating sources and taking notes ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY You might wish to annotate your working bibliography to include your own description and comments as well as publishing information. Annotations can help you understand and remember what the source says. ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY ENTRY Gere, Anne Ruggles. “Kitchen Tables and Rented Rooms: The Extracurriculum of Composition.” Literacy: A Critical Sourcebook. Ed. Ellen Cushman, Eugene R. Kintgen, Barry M. Kroll, and Mike Rose. Boston: Bedford, 2001. 275-89. This history of writing instruction argues that people teach writing and learn to write--and always have--more often in informal places like kitchens than in traditional writing classrooms. Gere presents numerous examples and comments on their importance to the study of writing today. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For additional examples of annotated bibliographies, click on Student Writing Models. 16c Evaluate a source’s usefulness and credibility. Since you want the information and ideas you glean from sources to be reliable and persuasive, you must evaluate each potential source carefully. The following guidelines can help you assess the usefulness and credibility of sources you are considering: • Your purpose. What will this source add to your research project? Does it help you support a major point, demonstrate that you have thoroughly researched your topic, or help establish your own credibility? • Relevance. How closely related is the source to the narrowed topic you are pursuing? • Level of specialization and audience. General sources can be helpful as you begin your research, but you may then need the authority or currency of more specialized sources. On the other hand, extremely specialized works may be very hard to understand. Who was the source originally written for — the general public? experts in the field? advocates or opponents? How does this fit with your concept of your own audience? 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 185 Read critically and interpret sources 16d Research • Credentials of the publisher or sponsor. What can you learn about the publisher or sponsor of the source you are using? For example, is it a newspaper known for integrity, or is it a tabloid? Is it a popular source, or is it sponsored by a professional organization or academic institution? If you’re evaluating a book, is the publisher one you recognize or can find described on its own Web site? • Credentials of the author. Note names that come up from one source to another, since they may indicate that the author is influential in the field. An author’s credentials may also be presented in the article, book, or Web site, or you can search the Internet for information about the author. • Date of publication. Recent sources are often more useful than older ones, particularly in the sciences or other fields that change rapidly. However, in some fields — such as the humanities — the most authoritative works may be older ones. The publication dates of Internet sites can often be difficult to pin down. And even for sites that include dates of posting, remember that the material posted may have been composed some time earlier. • Accuracy of the source. How accurate and complete is the information in the source? How thorough is the bibliography or list of works cited that accompanies the source? Can you find other sources that corroborate what your source is saying? • Stance of the source. Identify the source’s point of view or rhetorical stance, and scrutinize it carefully. Does the source present facts, or does it interpret or evaluate them? If it presents facts, what is included and what is omitted, and why? If it interprets or evaluates information that is not disputed, the source’s stance may be obvious, but at other times, you will need to think carefully about the source’s goals (16d). What does the author or sponsoring group want –– to convince you of an idea? sell you something? call you to action in some way? • Cross-references to the source. Is the source cited in other works? If you see your source cited by others, notice how they cite it and what they say about it to find additional clues to its credibility. For more on evaluating Web sources and periodical articles, see the source maps on pp. 186–87 and 188–89. 16d Read critically and interpret sources. Reading with a critical eye can make your research process more efficient. Use the tips on p. 120 to guide your critical reading. 185 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 186 SOURCE MAP: Evaluating Articles Determine the relevance of the source. 1 Look for an abstract, which provides a summary of the entire article. Is this source directly related to your research? Does it provide useful information and insights? Will your readers consider it persuasive support for your thesis? Determine the credibility of the publication. 2 Consider the publication’s title. Words in the title such as Journal, Review, and Quarterly may indicate that the periodical is a scholarly source. Most research essays rely on authorities in a particular field, whose work usually appears in scholarly journals. For more on distinguishing between scholarly and popular sources, see 15a. 3 Try to determine the publisher or sponsor. This journal is published by Johns Hopkins University Press. Academic presses such as this one generally review articles carefully before publishing them and bear the authority of their academic sponsors. Determine the credibility of the author. 4 Evaluate the author’s credentials. In this case, they are given in a note, which indicates that the author is a college professor and has written at least two books on related topics. Determine the currency of the article. 5 Look at the publication date and think about whether your topic and your credibility depend on your use of very current sources. Determine the accuracy of the article. 6 Look at the sources cited by the author of the article. Here, they are documented in footnotes. Ask yourself whether the works the author has cited seem credible and current. Are any of these works cited in other articles you’ve considered? In addition, consider the following questions: • What is the article’s stance or point of view? What are the author’s goals? What does the author want you to know or believe? • How does this source fit in with your other sources? Does any of the information it provides contradict or challenge other sources? 186 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 187 2 1 4 3 The Johns Hopkins University Press 5 © 2003 6 187 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 188 SOURCE MAP: Evaluating Web Sources Determine the credibility of the sponsoring organization. 1 Consider the URL, specifically the top-level domain name. (For example, .edu indicates that the sponsor is an accredited college or university; .org indicates it’s a nonprofit organization.) Might such a sponsor be biased about the topic you’re researching? 2 Look for an About page or a link to the home page for background information on the sponsor, including a mission statement. What is the sponsoring organization’s stance or point of view? Does the mission statement seem biased or balanced? Does the sponsor seem to take other points of view into account? What is the intended purpose of the site? Is this site meant to inform, or is it trying to persuade, advertise, or accomplish something? Determine the credibility of the author. 3 Evaluate the author’s credentials. On this Web page, the author appears to be a staff writer for the site. Although the author herself may not have a medical background, note that the article was reviewed by a physician and that it includes findings from a respected medical journal. If you suspect that an author may be biased, run a search on the author’s name to find any affiliations with interest groups or any leaning toward one side of an issue. Ask yourself if the author seems qualified to write about the issue. 4 Look for the date that indicates when the information was posted or last updated. Here, the date is given at the beginning of the article. 5 Check to see if the sources referred to are also up-to-date. Ask yourself if, given your topic, an older source is acceptable or if only the most recent information will do. Determine the accuracy of the information. 6 188 How complete is the information in the source? Examine the works cited by the author. Are sources for statistics included? Do the sources cited seem credible? Is a list of additional resources provided? Here, the author cites the New England Journal of Medicine and the National Center for Complementary and Alternative Medicine in addition to two of WebMD’s own articles. In some cases, it may be necessary to track down additional sources and corroborate what a source is saying. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 189 2 3 1 4 5 6 189 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 190 190 Research 16e Evaluating sources and taking notes YOUR RESEARCH QUESTION As you read, keep your research question in mind, and ask questions. • How does this material address your research question and hypothesis? • What quotations from this source might help support your thesis? • Does the source include counterarguments to your hypothesis that you will need to answer? If so, what answers can you provide? THE AUTHOR’S STANCE AND TONE Read with an eye for the author’s overall rhetorical stance or perspective, for facts or explicit opinions, and for the author’s tone — the way his or her attitude toward the topic and audience is conveyed. THE AUTHOR’S ARGUMENT AND EVIDENCE Look for the main point or the main argument the author is making. Try to identify the reasons the author gives to support his or her position. Then try to determine why the author takes this position. • How persuasive is the evidence? Can you think of a way to refute it? • Can you detect any questionable logic or fallacious thinking (12f)? EXERCISE 16.1 You can practice learning to read texts critically by comparing several Web sites. To begin, search for a site that is fairly unregulated and unedited — a fan site, for instance, for a writer, a book, an actor, a television show, or a film. What on this site indicates credibility? Who is responsible for the site, and how can you tell? Next, compare it to the site of a major government agency, such as the Library of Congress, or a national broadcaster, such as PBS or CNN. What kinds of connections do you see between the sponsoring organization and the Web site? Finally, working alone or with another member of your class, analyze the sites you have looked at for trust, credibility, and authority. Bring the results of your analysis to class for discussion. EXERCISE 16.2 Choose two sources that seem well suited to your topic, and evaluate their usefulness and credibility using the criteria presented in this chapter. If possible, analyze one print source and one electronic source. Bring the results of your analysis to class for discussion. 16e Synthesize sources. Throughout the research process, you are synthesizing — grouping similar pieces of data together, looking for patterns or trends, and identifying 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 191 GAME PLAN Synthesize Sources START What’s the MAIN IDEA? by identifying GOOD SOURCES. WHAT information do I NEED? HOW does this relate to my TOPIC? WHERE can I GET IT? WHAT DO OTHER SOURCES SAY ABOUT THIS SOURCE? Can I trust it? HOW will my readers respond to it? A source shouldn’t be too SPECIFIC or too GENERAL for my thesis…. If I’m missing important pieces, DO MORE RESEARCH. WHAT am I trying to SAY? FIGURE OUT what each source SAYS. What if one text says ONE thing, and another says SOMETHING ELSE? Which source do I believe, and WHY? Look for COMMON PATTERNS. What do they suggest about the TOPIC? EXAMINE THE FIT. HOW DO THE PARTS OF MY RESEARCH FIT WITH WHAT I WANT TO SAY? Is there a good reason to use each source? IF NOT, DON’T! ADD UP MY FINDINGS AND SEE WHERE I AM…. MY SOURCES ARE SOLID! Does my thesis NEED TO CHANGE? If I need to go in a new direction, I will. THE PIECES ADD UP! MY RESEARCH IS WORKING FOR ME! I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY. (If not, rethink this project!) My research should BACK ME UP, not take over. I’VE SYNTHESIZED MY FINDINGS! 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 192 SOURCE MAP: Using Sources Effectively 192 1 How appropriate is the source for the argument you are making? Read carefully, and be sure you understand exactly how the material in the source relates to your point. (See Chapter 12.) Student Amanda Rinder, in doing research for a paper about Chicago architecture (53c), discovered a major debate between the city’s preservationists and developers, which she wanted to document. This Chicago Tribune article by architecture critic Paul Gapp provided the information she needed. 2 How does each source contribute to your argument? Identifying the purpose of each source can help keep your research relevant and ensure that you fill in any gaps (and avoid repetition). Amanda used both paraphrases (highlighted) and quotations (underlined) from the Gapp article to present a clear overview of the issues of architectural preservation and to offer strong support for the preservation of the McCarthy Building. She used images, including this one of the McCarthy Building, as examples of the architectural style that preservationists wanted to save. She also did background research on Paul Gapp and learned, from his obituary in the New York Times, that he had won a Pulitzer Prize for his architecture criticism. She did not ultimately include information from the obituary in her paper, but it helped her be certain of Gapp’s credibility on her topic. 3 Do your sources include fair representations of opposing views? Consider what else you need to include to present a complete picture of the argument. Amanda paraphrased Gapp’s balanced discussion of the pros and cons of protecting the McCarthy Building. She also found additional sources on both sides of the issue. 4 How convincing will your sources be to your audience? Make sure that the evidence you choose will seem credible and logical (13e–f). Amanda identified Gapp as “a Chicago Tribune architecture critic” to show him as an authority on her topic. Her other sources included books by architects and historians and other articles on architecture from major newspapers in Chicago and elsewhere. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 193 MCCARTHY BUILDING PUTS LANDMARK LAW ON A COLLISION COURSE WITH DEVELOPERS 1 [FINAL EDITION, C] Chicago Tribune (pre-1997 Fulltext) - Chicago, Ill. Author: Paul Gapp, Architecture critic Date: Apr 20, 1986 Section: ARTS Text Word Count: 1142 Document Text 4 Chicago's commitment to saving municipally designated landmarks is undergoing one of its most crucial tests. If a little gem of a structure called the McCarthy Building is torn down, the city's landmarks protection ordinance will be devalued almost to the vanishing point. Au gu st 11 stands at the northeast corner Dearborn Washington Streets, just ,1 forgotten thatThe the McCarthy state building, designed by Helmut Jahn,ofwas alwaysand intended to be the 99 2 from Daley Civic Center. Its dignified facades are defaced by so many ugly signs anchor of theacross redevelopment area. that most pedestrians see the building only as a rude smear on the streetscape. Yet the B McCarthy's esthetic and value is undeniable, is why the cityycouncil Municipal planners finally decided tohistorical spare seven historic buildings which in the renewal district HE gavelandmarks, the building landmark status ingave the first place. by making them and the city council the designation to: RB Pa ER Ju ul G TM ly a Now,designed however,ina 1872 real estate development group wants to demolish the ChMcCarthy 30 pp, to makeUS -- The McCarthy, by John M. Van Osdel. ica at the CH room for an office tower. Because the building stands on municipally controlled go Nourban Pu AM . He r t P renewal land, hasSt., both the leverage to save it and a reason for its hw litze -- The Chicago Theater, 175theN.city State a Rapp & Rapp-designed masterpiece built in dieallowing est r P destruction. This landmark scenario is unprecedented and could M rize of stickier. M hardlydbe 1921. em w lun Co r. Ga ori inn gc p l a u p a l l H ing mb wthreatened at appeared nc in the The McCarthy andjust several important buildings first -- The Page Brothers Building, northother of the Chicagoold Theater, another os arc as er r, h Osdel u an eVan pit hi co b d f facade--the e j s (O plan. early 1970s whenand thenotable city began drafting Loopenorth al tec building constructed in 1872 chiefly for itsthe fullNorth cast iron mp oin hio orn iIn 1973, ea renewal durban in t i l t t nC ica u o espare Pr officials Ch ure theexample private Landmarks Preservation Council (LPC) asked d T ) Dsuch only surviving of its kind here. t ize r for resto l i e ica crit e s db for urb edito he C patc vela go ic buildings, but the city brushed aside the plea. ye . H for hic h a nd M a r c . m n r r. G itic built e w Th ft in a ph a in In -- The handsome Harris and Selwyn Theaters at 180 and 190 N. St., de Dearborn ys ism ffair 197 go D er g 192 as e C scr approgram e r p Under version of the North urban announced in 1978, s chrenewal 2 a a 64 hic 1922 on designs by an H. early Kenneth Franzheim and C.Loop Howard Crane. m 8 's . i in He , M ily dua . H a, arm bed in ye ag 1 C N h e r t t 9 more than 50 buildings--including all nine movie --were . G ew ing b ars o T as eextant is hic houses ." then 79 towbe res a e o H a " s g . ag old rib ffi the office t in ap pp s, w from an in 159 a seven-block area. o's is w style -- The Oliverdestroyed Building at N. Dearborn St., a good-looking Chicagoc p j e his an une oin oin her sai so riti last arch O dl ,d e c e h c ted d structure designed by Holabird & Roche in 1907. d. ive ied ial ngs of t ite he io are T c U a e h d i on an othe e g ture --already rch he C wo ni r in Among structures marked for demolition were seven--including d p n arMcCarthy n v r ite rea gr hic ked ers jou ch officials oli and c listed on the federal of Historic Places. Preservation in e t i -- The Delaware Building, 36 W. National RandolphRegister St., an 1872 structure by Wheelock t a ure go as ty rna tic itec Am w o i a a l n t eri ut cri Tri re u Washington warned that their destruction mean a loss of federal Thomas. Its Italianate style and corner location give it acould strong resemblance to thel lirenewal 19 ism ca of fe. re h money, t p b i c i un ort 50. wi elp n c his n 1 e a er, th McCarthy. and City Hall began reshuffling its plans. ed itie lo 97 s a ed Six y Th rea s, a ve 4 a ssi ito ea e de c for nd sta ria rs The tangle of events thatBrothers followedbuildings into the 1980s found the city repeatedly nt l w When the Chicago Theater and Page were almost destroyed by their changing itsrs g ity o Chi w on cit rit ras f g ca Indeed, thatprevious sort of restoration was originally envisioned by realbe estate developers when er minda about what should and should not saved from destruction. the y p t rea go, owners couple of years ago, it was a reminder that landmark designation is no he t Pu the city--acting underof itspreservation. renewal powers--tentatively in 1983 to potential accept a bid of of saving a rol eleg whic guarantee It can only delaydecided demolition while ways litz e o an h h er $12.6 million for theare fullexplored. blockthis of(The land on which the McCarthy stands. The lengthy McCarthy While was Chicago going on,and demolition the renewal area began with the f b ce eo building the Page,inrescued after litigation, areSherman House uil and nc and two other buildings were have been linked to glass enclosed shopping arcade restoration din e which fell to make way foranew the new State of Illinois Center. Most people have nowold well on hotel, the way totoextended lives under ownership and an ambitious gs grea connecting program). Dearborn and State Streets. in t Pa Ar ul G ch ap ite p, ctu 64 re , Jo Cr ur iti na c W lis on t, D Pu ies lit ; ze r Late last summer, the the citypresent was notified of a change ofsituation, mind by the development And so however, we consider McCarthy Building which might be described group consisting of the Levy Organization, JMB Realty and Metropolitan Structures. The as an impasse on its way to becoming a brouhaha. group said it wanted to tear down the buildings and construct an office high-rise in their place. The city council gave the McCarthy landmark status because it is a rare and distinguished example of work by Van Osdel, who was Chicago's first professional architect. Created in To make upanfor the McCarthy's the after developers offered to contribute $2 million to Italianate style justloss, a year the Great Chicago Fire of 1871, the McCarthy's the city for carefully development of a masonry "Theater and Row" project in reflect the North tied to existing detailed iron facades the Loop, same look Van Osdel selected theatrical venues. when he designed the third Palmer House hotel a few years later. 2 When the LPC it might such deal, it was attacked the City Club of would If thesaid garish signsnot thatoppose degrade theaMcCarthy were simplybyremoved, that alone Chicago and restoration authority Vinci, appealing among others. offerCentury is reveal the building as aJohn stunningly relic "The from developer's Chicago's 19th tantamountrenaissance to a civic shakedown," said Larry P. Horist, the City Club's executive era. Replacing the little five-story building's lost cornice and restoring its director. Vinci the present LPC's vacillation "destroys its integrity." basesaid would no technical problems. Today, City Hall is trapped and squirming in the middle. If it stands fast in favor of the McCarthy, it risks queering the land sale in an important urban renewal area whose upgrading has already been plagued by political, legal, tax assessment and other problems. If it rescinds the McCarthy's landmark status and allows demolition, the city will have gone on record as favoring the allure of the dollar over Chicago's architectural heritage. (Moving the McCarthy to another site, which has also been suggested, would amount to the same kind of surrender and set a dangerous precedent). 3 It's a tough decision, and the politicians will be faulted in either case. Yet anyone who cares for the irreplaceable historical and cultural fabric of the city can hardly take anything but the long view: The McCarthy and most of Chicago's other official architecture landmarks were in place long before any of today's politicians and real estate developers (or you and I) were born. Is it too much to hope that they will continue to grace our ravaged but still great city long after all of us are gone? 193 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 194 194 Research 16f Evaluating sources and taking notes the main points of the data. Doing so enables you to use your sources effectively to pursue your research goals. Using sources effectively in a research essay can pose challenges. A national study of first-year college writing conducted for this book, for example, found that student writers trying to incorporate research sometimes used sources that were not directly relevant to their point, too specific to support the larger claim being made, or otherwise ineffective for their purpose. Even after you have evaluated a source and considered the author’s stance, argument, and evidence, then, it’s worth taking time to look at how well the source works in your specific situation. (If you change the focus of your work after you have begun doing research, be especially careful to check whether your sources still fit.) 16f Take notes, and annotate your sources. While note-taking methods vary from one researcher to another, you should (1) record enough information to help you recall the major points of the source; (2) put the information in the form in which you are most likely to incorporate it into your research essay; and (3) note all the information you will need to cite the source accurately. The following example shows the major items a note should include: ELEMENTS OF AN ACCURATE NOTE Child labor statistics Arat, Analyzing Child Labor, p. 180 Accurate statistics are hard to gather Between 200 and 500 million child laborers worldwide 95% are in the third world 2 million in the US and UK (Summary) 1 2 3 4 “[0]ne in three children in Africa works, one in four in Asia, and one in five in Latin America.” (Quotation) 1 Use a subject heading. Label each note with a brief but descriptive subject heading so you can group similar subtopics together. 2 Identify the source. List the author’s name and a shortened title of the source. Your working-bibliography entry (16b) for the source will contain the full bibliographic information, so you don’t need to repeat it in each note. 3 Record exact page references (if available). For online or other sources without page numbers, record the paragraph, screen, or other section number(s), if indicated. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 195 Take notes, and annotate your sources 4 16f Research Indicate whether the note is a summary, paraphrase, or direct quotation (see the following). Make sure quotations are copied accurately. Put square brackets around any change you make, and use ellipses if you omit material. Taking complete notes will help you digest the source information as you read and incorporate the material into your text without inadvertently plagiarizing the source (see Chapter 17). Be sure to reread each note carefully, and recheck it against the source to make sure quotations, statistics, and specific facts are accurate. Quoting Quoting involves bringing a source’s exact words into your text. Use an author’s exact words when the wording is so memorable or expresses a point so well that you cannot improve or shorten it without weakening it, when the author is a respected authority whose opinion supports your own ideas, or when an author challenges or disagrees profoundly with others in the field. Here is an example of a quotation note: QUOTATION-STYLE NOTE Comments from educators Subject heading Lee, “I Think,” NY Times (Web site) Author and short title of source (no page number for electronic source) Melanie Weaver was stunned by some of the term papers she received from a 10th-grade class she recently taught as part of an internship. “They would be trying to make a point in a paper, [so] they would put a smiley face in the end,” said Ms. Weaver, who teaches at Alvernia College in Reading, Pa. “If they were presenting an argument and they needed to present an opposite view, they would put a frown.” (Quotation) Indication that note is direct quotation Paraphrasing A paraphrase accurately states all the relevant information from a passage in your own words and sentence structures, without any additional comments or elaborations. Use a paraphrase when the main points of a passage, their order, and some details are important but the particular wording is not. Unlike a summary, a paraphrase always restates all the main points of a passage in the same order and often in about the same number of words. To paraphrase without plagiarizing inadvertently, do not simply substitute synonyms, and do not imitate an author’s style. If you wish 195 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 196 196 Research 16f Evaluating sources and taking notes AT A GLANCE Quoting Accurately • Copy quotations carefully, with punctuation, capitalization, and spelling exactly as in the original. (42a) • Enclose the quotation in quotation marks; don’t rely on your memory to distinguish your own words from those of the source. (42a) • Use square brackets if you introduce words of your own into the quotation or make changes in it. (43b) • Use ellipses if you omit words from the quotation. (43f) • If you later incorporate the quotation into your research essay, copy it from the note precisely, including brackets and ellipses. • Record the author’s name, shortened title, and page number(s) on which the quotation appeared. For sources without page numbers, record the paragraph, screen, or other section number(s) if indicated. • Make sure you have a corresponding working-bibliography entry with complete source information. (16b) • Label the note with a subject heading, and identify it as a quotation. to cite some of an author’s words within a paraphrase, enclose them in quotation marks. The following examples of paraphrases resemble the original either too little or too much: ORIGINAL Language play, the arguments suggest, will help the development of pronunciation ability through its focus on the properties of sounds and sound contrasts, such as rhyming. Playing with word endings and decoding the syntax of riddles will help the acquisition of grammar. Readiness to play with words and names, to exchange puns and to engage in nonsense talk, promotes links with semantic development. The kinds of dialogue interaction illustrated above are likely to have consequences for the development of conversational skills. And language play, by its nature, also contributes greatly to what in recent years has been called metalinguistic awareness, which is turning out to be of critical importance in the development of language skills in general and of literacy skills in particular. – DAVID CRYSTAL, Language Play (180) UNACCEPTABLE PARAPHRASE: STRAYING FROM THE AUTHOR’S IDEAS Crystal argues that playing with language — creating rhymes, figuring out how riddles work, making puns, playing with names, using invented words, and so on — helps children figure out a great deal about language, from the basics of pronunciation and grammar to how to carry on a conversation. Increasing their understanding of how language works in turn helps them become more interested in learning new languages and in pursuing education (180). 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 197 Take notes, and annotate your sources 16f Research The previous paraphrase starts off well enough, but it moves away from paraphrasing the original to inserting the writer’s ideas; Crystal says nothing about learning new languages or pursuing education. UNACCEPTABLE PARAPHRASE: USING THE AUTHOR’S WORDS Crystal suggests that language play, including rhyme, helps children improve pronunciation ability, that looking at word endings and decoding the syntax of riddles allows them to understand grammar, and that other kinds of dialogue interaction teach conversation. Overall, language play may be of critical importance in the development of language and literacy skills (180). Because the underlined phrases are either borrowed from the original without quotation marks or changed only superficially, this paraphrase plagiarizes. UNACCEPTABLE PARAPHRASE: USING THE AUTHOR’S SENTENCE STRUCTURES Language play, Crystal suggests, will improve pronunciation by zeroing in on sounds such as rhymes. Having fun with word endings and analyzing riddle structure will help a person acquire grammar. Being prepared to play with language, to use puns and talk nonsense, improves the ability to use semantics. These playful methods of communication are likely to influence a person’s ability to talk to others. And language play inherently adds enormously to what has recently been known as metalinguistic awareness, a concept of great magnitude in developing speech abilities generally and literacy abilities particularly (180). Here is a paraphrase of the same passage that expresses the author’s ideas accurately and acceptably: ACCEPTABLE PARAPHRASE: IN THE STUDENT WRITER’S OWN WORDS Crystal argues that playing with language — creating rhymes, figuring out riddles, making puns, playing with names, using invented words, and so on — helps children figure out a great deal, from the basics of pronunciation and grammar to how to carry on a conversation. This kind of play allows children to understand the overall concept of how language works, a concept that is key to learning to use — and read — language effectively (180). Summarizing A summary is a significantly shortened version of a passage or even of a whole chapter or work that captures main ideas in your own words. Unlike a paraphrase, a summary uses just enough information to record the main points you wish to emphasize. To summarize a short passage, read it carefully and, without looking at the text, write a one- or two-sentence summary. Following is David Craig’s note recording a summary of the Crystal passage on p. 196. Notice that it states the author’s main points selectively — and without using his words. 197 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 198 198 Research 16f Evaluating sources and taking notes AT A GLANCE Paraphrasing Accurately • Include all main points and any important details from the original source, in the same order in which the author presents them. • State the meaning in your own words and sentence structures. If you want to include especially memorable language from the original, enclose it in quotation marks. • Save your comments, elaborations, or reactions on another note. • Record the author’s name, the shortened title, and the page number(s) on which the original material appears. For sources without page numbers, record the paragraph, screen, or other section number(s), if any. • Make sure you have a corresponding working-bibliography entry with complete source information. (16b) • Label the note with a subject heading, and identify it as a paraphrase. SUMMARY NOTE Language development Crystal, Language Play, p. 180 Crystal argues that various kinds of language play contribute to awareness of how language works and to literacy. (Summary) For a long passage or an entire chapter, skim the headings and topic sentences, and make notes of each; then write your summary in a paragraph or two. For a whole book, you may want to refer to the preface and introduction as well as chapter titles, headings, and topic sentences — and your summary may take a page or more. Annotating sources Sometimes you may photocopy or print out a source you intend to use. In such cases, you can annotate the photocopies or printouts with your thoughts and questions and highlight interesting quotations and key terms. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 199 Take notes, and annotate your sources 16f Research AT A GLANCE Summarizing Accurately • Include just enough information to recount the main points you want to cite. A summary is usually far shorter than the original. • Use your own words. If you include any language from the original, enclose it in quotation marks. • Record the author, shortened title, and page number(s) on which the original material appeared. For sources without page numbers, record the paragraph, screen, or other section number(s), if any. • Make sure you have a corresponding working-bibliography entry with complete source information. (16b) • Label the note with a subject heading, and identify it as a summary. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Identifying Sources While some language communities and cultures expect audiences to recognize the sources of important documents and texts, thereby eliminating the need to cite them directly, conventions for writing in North America call for careful attribution of any quoted, paraphrased, or summarized material. When in doubt, explicitly identify your sources. You can copy online sources electronically, paste them into a computer file, and annotate them there. Try not to rely too heavily on copying or printing out whole pieces, however; you still need to read the material very carefully. And resist the temptation to treat copied material as notes, an action that could lead to inadvertent plagiarizing. (In a computer file, using a different color for text pasted from a source will help prevent this problem.) EXERCISE 16.3 Choose an online source you are sure you will use in your research project. Then download and print out the source, record all essential publication information for it, and annotate it as you read it. EXERCISE 16.4: THINKING CRITICALLY Take a careful look at the sources you have gathered for your research project. How many make points that support your own point of view? How many provide counterarguments to your point of view? Which sources are you relying on most — and why? Which source seems most credible to you — and why? Which sources, if any, are you suspicious of or worried about? Bring the results of this investigation to class for discussion. 199 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 200 17 Integrating Sources and Avoiding Plagiarism In some ways, there really is nothing new under the sun, in writing and research as well as in life. Whatever writing you do has been influenced by what you have already read and experienced. As you work on your research project, you will need to know how to use, integrate, and acknowledge the work of others. And all writers need to understand current definitions of plagiarism (which have changed over time and differ from culture to culture) as well as the concept of intellectual property — those works protected by copyright and other laws — so they can give credit where credit is due. 17a Decide whether to quote, paraphrase, or summarize. You tentatively decided to quote, paraphrase, or summarize material when you took notes on your sources (16f). As you choose some of these sources for your research project and decide how to use them, however, you may reevaluate those decisions. The following guidelines can help you decide whether to quote, paraphrase, or summarize. 17b Integrate quotations, paraphrases, and summaries effectively. Here are some general guidelines for integrating source materials into your writing. Incorporating quotations Quotations from respected authorities can help establish your credibility and show that you are considering various perspectives. However, because your essay is primarily your own work, limit your use of quotations. BRIEF QUOTATIONS Short quotations should run in with your text, enclosed by quotation marks (42a). In Miss Eckhart, Welty recognizes a character who shares with her “the love of her art and the love of giving it, the desire to give it until there is no more left” (10). 200 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 201 Integrate quotations, paraphrases, and summaries 17b Research AT A GLANCE When to Quote, Paraphrase, or Summarize QUOTE • wording that is so memorable or powerful, or expresses a point so perfectly, that you cannot change it without weakening its meaning • authors’ opinions you wish to emphasize • authors’ words that show you are considering varying perspectives • respected authorities whose opinions support your ideas • authors whose opinions challenge or vary greatly from those of others in the field PARAPHRASE • passages you do not wish to quote but that use details important to your point SUMMARIZE • long passages in which the main point is important to your point but the details are not LONG QUOTATIONS If you are following the style of the Modern Language Association (MLA), set off a prose quotation longer than four lines. If you are following the style of the American Psychological Association (APA) or the Chicago Manual of Style, set off a quotation of more than forty words or more than one paragraph. Begin such a quotation on a new line, and indent every line ten spaces (MLA), five to seven spaces (APA), or eight spaces (Chicago). This indentation sets off the quotation clearly, so quotation marks are unnecessary. Introduce long quotations by a signal phrase (see the list on this page) or a sentence followed by a colon. The following example shows MLA style: A good seating arrangement can prevent problems; however, withitness, as defined by Woolfolk, works even better: Withitness is the ability to communicate to students that you are aware of what is happening in the classroom, that you “don’t miss anything.” With-it teachers seem to have “eyes in the back of their heads.” They avoid becoming too absorbed with a few students, since this allows the rest of the class to wander. (359) This technique works, however, only if students actually believe that their teacher will know everything that goes on. 201 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 202 202 Research 17b Integrating sources and avoiding plagiarism INTEGRATING QUOTATIONS SMOOTHLY INTO YOUR TEXT Carefully integrate quotations into your text so that they flow smoothly and clearly into the surrounding sentences. Use a signal phrase or verb, such as those underlined in the following examples and listed below. As Eudora Welty notes, “learning stamps you with its moments. Childhood’s learning,” she continues, “is made up of moments. It isn’t steady. It’s a pulse” (9). In her essay, Haraway strongly opposes those who condemn technology outright, arguing that we must not indulge in a “demonology of technology” (181). Notice that the examples alert readers to the quotations by using signal phrases that include the author’s name. When you cite a quotation in this way, you need put only the page number in parentheses. SIGNAL VERBS acknowledges advises agrees allows answers asserts believes charges claims concludes concurs confirms criticizes declares describes disagrees discusses disputes emphasizes expresses interprets lists objects observes offers opposes remarks replies reports responds reveals says states suggests thinks writes BRACKETS AND ELLIPSES In direct quotations, enclose in brackets any words you change or add, and indicate any deletions with ellipsis points (43f). “There is something wrong in the [Three Mile Island] area,” one farmer told the Nuclear Regulatory Commission after the plant accident (“Legacy” 33). Economist John Kenneth Galbraith has pointed out that “large corporations cannot afford to compete with one another. . . . In a truly competitive market someone loses” (qtd. in Key 17). Incorporating paraphrases and summaries Introduce paraphrases and summaries clearly, usually with a signal phrase that includes the author of the source, as the underlined words in the following example indicate. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 203 Integrate visuals effectively 17c Research Professor of linguistics Deborah Tannen says that she offers her book That’s Not What I Meant! to “women and men everywhere who are trying their best to talk to each other” (19). Tannen goes on to illustrate how communication between women and men breaks down and then to suggest that a full awareness of “genderlects” can improve relationships (297). EXERCISE 17.1 Take a source-based piece of writing you have done recently or a research project you are working on now, and examine it to see how successfully you have integrated quotations. Have you used accurate signal verbs and introduced the sources of the quotations? Have you used square brackets and ellipses accurately to indicate changes in quotations? EXERCISE 17.2: THINKING CRITICALLY From a research project you have finished or are drafting now, choose three passages that cite sources. Then examine how well these sources are integrated into your text. Consider how you can make that integration smoother, and try your hand at revising one of them. EXERCISE 17.3 Read the brief original passage that follows, and then look closely at the five attempts to quote or paraphrase it. Decide which attempts are acceptable and which plagiarize, prepare notes on what supports your decision in each case, and bring your notes to class for discussion. The strange thing about plagiarism is that it’s almost always pointless. The writers who stand accused, from Laurence Sterne to Samuel Taylor Coleridge to Susan Sontag, tend to be more talented than the writers they lift from. — MALCOLM JONES, “Have You Read This Story Somewhere?” 1. According to Malcolm Jones, writers accused of plagiarism are always better writers than those they are supposed to have plagiarized. 2. According to Malcolm Jones, writers accused of plagiarism “tend to be more talented than the writers they lift from.” 3. Plagiarism is usually pointless, says writer Malcolm Jones. 4. Those who stand accused of plagiarism, such as Senator Joseph Biden, tend to be better writers than those whose work they use. 5. According to Malcolm Jones, “plagiarism is . . . almost always pointless.” 17c Integrate visuals effectively. If you are using visuals (such as graphs, cartoons, maps, photographs, charts, tables, or time lines), integrate them smoothly into your text. 203 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 204 204 Research 17d Integrating sources and avoiding plagiarism TALKING THE TALK Saying Something New “What can I say about my topic that experts haven’t already said?” All writers — no matter how experienced — face this problem. As you read more about your topic, you will soon see areas of disagreement among experts, who may not be as expert as they first appear. Notice what your sources say and, especially, what they don’t say. Consider how your own interests and experiences give you a unique perspective on the topic. Slowly but surely you will identify a claim that you can make about the topic, one related to what others say but taking a new angle or adding something different to the discussion. • Make sure the graphic conveys information more efficiently than words alone could do. • Position the visual immediately after the text it illustrates or refers to — or as close to it as possible. • Refer to the visual by number in the text before it appears: As Figure 3 demonstrates. • Explain or comment on the relevance of the visual. This can be done after the visual. • Label each visual clearly and consistently: Fig. 1. Photograph of the New York Skyline. • Check the documentation system you are using to make sure you label visuals appropriately; MLA, for instance, asks that you number and title tables and figures (Table 1: Average Amount of Rainfall by Region). • If you are posting your document or essay on a Web site, make sure you have permission to use any visuals that are covered by copyright. For more on using visuals, see Chapter 4. 17d Check for excessive use of source material. Your text needs to synthesize your research in support of your own argument; it should not be a patchwork of quotations, paraphrases, and summaries from other people. You need a rhetorical stance that represents you as the author. If you cite too many sources, your own voice will disappear, a problem the following passage demonstrates: The United States is one of the countries with the most rapid population growth. In fact, rapid population increase has been a “prominent feature of American life since the founding of the republic” (Day 31). In the past, the 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 205 Know which sources to acknowledge 17f Research cause of the high rate of population growth was the combination of large-scale immigration and a high birth rate. As Day notes, “Two facts stand out in the demographic history of the United States: first, the single position as a receiver of immigrants; second, our high rate of growth from natural increase” (31). Nevertheless, American population density is not as high as in most European countries. Day points out that the Netherlands, with a density of 906 persons per square mile, is more crowded than even the most densely populated American states (33). 17e Understand why you should acknowledge your sources. Acknowledging sources says to your reader that you have done your homework, that you have gained expertise on your topic, and that you are credible. Acknowledging sources can also demonstrate fairness — that you have considered several points of view. In addition, recognizing your sources can help provide background for your research by placing it in the context of other thinking. Most of all, you should acknowledge sources to help your readers follow your thoughts, understand how your ideas relate to the thoughts of others, and know where to go to find more information on your topic. 17f Know which sources to acknowledge. As you carry out research, it is important to understand the distinction between materials that require acknowledgment (in in-text citations, footnotes, or endnotes; and in the works-cited list or bibliography) and those that do not. Materials that do not require acknowledgment • Common knowledge. If most readers already know a fact, you probably do not need to cite a source for it. You do not need to credit a source for the statement that George Bush was reelected in 2004, for example. • Facts available in a wide variety of sources. If a number of encyclopedias, almanacs, or textbooks include a certain piece of information, you usually need not cite a specific source for it. • Your own findings from field research. If you conduct observations or surveys, simply announce your findings as your own. Acknowledge people you interview as individuals rather than as part of a survey. 205 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 206 206 Research 17g Integrating sources and avoiding plagiarism Materials that require acknowledgment Some of the information you use may need to be credited to a source. • Quotations, paraphrases, and summaries. Whenever you use another person’s words, ideas, or opinions, credit the source. Even though the wording of a paraphrase or summary is your own, you should still acknowledge the source. • Facts not widely known or claims that are arguable. If your readers would be unlikely to know a fact, or if an author presents as fact a claim that may or may not be true, cite the source. If you are not sure whether a fact will be familiar to your readers or whether a statement is arguable, cite the source. • Visuals from any source. Credit all visual and statistical material not derived from your own field research, even if you yourself create a graph or table from the data provided in a source. • Help provided by others. If an instructor gave you a good idea or if friends responded to your draft or helped you conduct surveys, give credit. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Plagiarism as a Cultural Concept Many cultures do not recognize Western notions of plagiarism, which rest on a belief that language and ideas can be owned by writers. Indeed, in many countries other than the United States, and even within some communities in the United States, using the words and ideas of others without attribution is considered a sign of deep respect as well as an indication of knowledge. In academic writing in the United States, however, you should credit all materials except those that are common knowledge, that are available in a wide variety of sources, or that are your own creations (photographs, drawings, and so on) or your own findings from field research. 17g Uphold your academic integrity, and avoid plagiarism. One of the cornerstones of intellectual work is academic integrity. This principle accounts for our being able to trust those sources we use and to demonstrate that our own work is equally trustworthy. While there are many ways to damage academic integrity, two that are especially important are inaccurate or incomplete acknowledgment of sources in 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 207 Uphold your academic integrity, and avoid plagiarism 17g Research citations — sometimes called unintentional plagiarism — and plagiarism that is deliberately intended to pass off one writer’s work as another’s. Whether it is intentional or not, plagiarism can result in serious consequences. At some colleges, students who plagiarize fail the course automatically; at others, they are expelled. Instructors who plagiarize, even inadvertently, have had their degrees revoked and their books withdrawn from publication. And outside academic life, eminent political, business, and scientific leaders have been stripped of candidacies, positions, and awards because of plagiarism. Inaccurate or incomplete citation of sources If your paraphrase is too close to the wording or sentence structure of a source (even if you identify the source); if you do not identify the source of a quotation (even if you include the quotation marks); or if you fail to indicate clearly the source of an idea that you obviously did not come up with on your own, you may be accused of plagiarism even if your intent was not to plagiarize. Inaccurate or incomplete acknowledgment of sources often results either from carelessness or from not learning how to borrow material properly in the first place. Still, because the costs of even unintentional plagiarism can be severe, it’s important to understand how it can happen and how you can guard against it. As a writer of academic integrity, you will want to take responsibility for your research and for acknowledging all sources accurately. One easy way to keep track is to keep photocopies or printouts as you do your research; then you can identify needed quotations right on the copy. Deliberate plagiarism Deliberate plagiarism — handing in an essay written by a friend or purchased (or simply downloaded) from an essay-writing company; cutting and pasting passages directly from source materials without marking them with quotation marks and acknowledging your sources; failing to credit the source of an idea or concept in your text — is what most people think of when they hear the word plagiarism. This form of plagiarism is particularly troubling because it represents dishonesty and deception: those who intentionally plagiarize present the hard thinking and hard work of someone else as their own, and they claim knowledge they really don’t have, thus deceiving their readers. Deliberate plagiarism is also fairly simple to spot: your instructor will be well acquainted with your writing and likely to notice any sudden shifts in the style or quality of your work. In addition, by typing a few words from an essay into a search engine, your instructor can identify “matches” very easily. 207 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 208 208 Research 18 Writing a research project AT A GLANCE Avoiding Plagiarism • Maintain an accurate and thorough working bibliography. (16b) • Establish a consistent note-taking system, listing sources and page numbers and clearly identifying all quotations, paraphrases, summaries, statistics, and visuals. (16f) • Identify all quotations with quotation marks — both in your notes and in your essay. Be sure your summaries and paraphrases use your own words and sentence structures. (17b) • Give a citation or note for each quotation, paraphrase, summary, arguable assertion or opinion, statistic, and visual that is from a source. (See Chapter 48, 52a, 53a, and 54a.) • Prepare an accurate and complete list of sources cited according to the required documentation style. (See Chapter 50, 52c, 53a and b, and 54b.) D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For additional help with avoiding plagiarism, click on Research Resources. EXERCISE 17.4: THINKING CRITICALLY Look at a recent piece of your writing that incorporates material from sources, and try to determine how completely and accurately you acknowledged them. Did you properly cite every quotation, paraphrase, and summary? every opinion or other idea from a source? every source you used to create visuals? Did you unintentionally plagiarize someone else’s words or ideas? Make notes, and bring them to class for discussion. 18 Writing a Research Project Everyday decisions often call for research and writing. In trying to choose between two jobs in different towns, for example, one person made a long list of questions to answer: Which job location had the lower cost of living? How did the two locations compare in terms of schools, cultural opportunities, major league sports, and so on? After conducting careful research, he was able to write a letter of acceptance to one place and a letter of regret to the other. In much the same way, when you are working on an academic project, there comes a time to draw the strands of your research together and articulate your conclusions in writing. 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 209 Refine your writing plans 18a 18a Research Refine your writing plans. For almost all research writing, drafting should begin well before the deadline. There is a good reason for this: as your understanding of the subject grows and as you get responses from others, you may need to gather more information or even refine your original research question — and thus do more drafting. Before you start to write, reconsider your purpose, audience, stance, and working thesis (see Chapters 5 and 7). • What is your central purpose? What other purposes, if any, do you have? • What is your stance toward your topic? Are you an advocate, a critic, a reporter, an observer? • What audience(s) are you addressing? • How much background information does your audience need? • What supporting information will your readers find convincing — examples? quotations from authorities? statistics? graphs, charts, or other visuals? data from your own observations or from interviews? • Should your tone be that of a colleague, an expert, a student? • How can you establish common ground with your readers and show them that you have considered points of view other than your own? • What is your working thesis trying to establish? Will your audience accept it? Developing an explicit thesis At the drafting stage, try to develop your working thesis (see p. 63) into an explicit statement that identifies your purpose and audience as well as your topic. It might take the following form: I plan to (explain/argue/demonstrate/analyze, and so on) for an audience of that because/if . For example, David Craig developed the following explicit thesis statement: I plan to demonstrate for an audience of classmates that instant messaging seems to be a positive force in the development of youth literacy because it promotes regular contact with words, the use of written communication, and the development of an alternative form of literacy. 209 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 210 210 Research 18b Writing a research project Note that while David’s final draft (see Chapter 51) omits the explicit reference to his audience and purpose, including this information at the drafting stage helped focus his writing. Testing your thesis Although writing out an explicit thesis will often confirm your research, you may find that your hypothesis is invalid, inadequately supported, or insufficiently focused. In such cases, you need to rethink your original research question and perhaps do further research. To test your thesis, consider the following questions: 1. How can you state your thesis more precisely or more clearly? Should the wording be more specific? 2. In what ways will your thesis interest your audience? What can you do to increase that interest? 3. Will your thesis be manageable, given your limits of time and knowledge? If not, what can you do to make it more manageable? 4. What evidence from your research supports each aspect of your thesis? What additional evidence do you need? EXERCISE 18.1 Take the thesis from your current research project, and test it against the questions provided above. Make revisions if your analysis reveals weaknesses in your thesis. Considering design As you move toward producing a draft, take some time to think about how you want your research essay or project to look. What font size will you use? Should you use color? Do you plan to insert text boxes and visuals? Will you need headings and subheadings? (See Chapter 4.) 18b Organize and draft. To group the many pieces of information that you have collected, examine your notes for connections. Figure out what might be combined with what, which notes will be more useful and which less useful, which ideas lend support to your thesis and which should be put aside, and which visuals you will definitely use. You can begin this process by grouping your notes and visuals into subject categories to identify main ideas; then try to order the categories in the most effective way. You may also want to develop a working 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 211 Organize and draft 18b Research outline, storyboard, or idea map from your notes, which you can revise as you go along, or you can plot out a more detailed organization in a formal outline (7e). Begin drafting wherever you feel most confident. If you have an idea for an introduction, begin there. If you are not sure how you want to introduce the project but do know how you want to approach one point, begin with that, and return to the introduction later. Working title and introduction The title and introduction play special roles, for they set the stage for what is to come. Ideally, the title announces the subject of the research essay or project in an intriguing or memorable way. The introduction should draw readers in and provide any background they will need to understand your discussion. Here are some tips for drafting an introduction to a research essay: • It is often effective to open with a question, especially your research question. Next, you might explain what you will do to answer the question. Then end with your explicit thesis statement — in essence, the answer. • Help readers by forecasting your main points. • Establish your own credibility by revealing how you have become knowledgeable about the topic. • A quotation can be a good attention-getter, but you may not want to open with a quotation if doing so will give that source too much emphasis. Conclusion A good conclusion to a research project helps readers know what they have learned. Its job is not to persuade (the body of the essay or project should already have done that) but to contribute to the overall effectiveness of your argument. Here are some strategies that may help: • Refer to your thesis, and then expand to a more general conclusion that reminds readers of the significance of your discussion. • If you have covered several main points, you may want to remind readers of them. Be careful, however, to provide more than a mere summary. • Try to end with something that will have an impact — a provocative quotation or question, a vivid image, a call for action, or a warning. But guard against sounding preachy. 211 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 212 212 Research 18c 18e Writing a research project Incorporate source materials. When you reach the point of drafting your research project, a new task awaits: weaving your source materials into your writing. The challenge is to use your sources yet remain the author — to quote, paraphrase, and summarize other voices while remaining the major voice in your work. (See Chapter 17 for tips on integrating sources.) 18d Review and get responses to your draft. Once you’ve completed your draft, reread it slowly. As you do so, answer the following questions, and use them as a starting point for revision: • What do you now see as its purpose? How does this compare with your original purpose? Does the draft do what your assignment requires? • What audience does your essay address? • What is your stance toward the topic? • What is your thesis? Is it clearly stated? • What evidence supports your thesis? Is the evidence sufficient? Next, ask friends, classmates, and, if possible, your instructor to read and respond to your draft. Asking specific questions of your readers will result in the most helpful advice. (See Chapter 9.) D 18e bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter To explore tools for peer review, go to Writing Resources and click on Working Online. If you’re using Comment in your course, you and your classmates can take part in peer-reviewing activities online. Revise and edit your draft. Once you get feedback, reread your draft very carefully, making notes for necessary changes and additions. Look closely at your support for your thesis, and gather additional verbal or visual information if necessary. Pay particular attention to how you have used both print and visual sources, and make sure you have full documentation for all of them. (For more detailed information on revising, see Chapter 9.) Check grammar, usage, spelling, punctuation, and mechanics. Consider the advice of spell checkers (22e) and grammar checkers carefully before accepting it. (For more information on editing, see 10a.) 08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214)_08_LUN_66490_Pt04_(163-214).qxd 11/30/11 2:19 PM Page 213 Prepare and proofread your final copy 18f 18g Research Prepare a list of sources. Once you have your final draft and source materials in place, you are ready to prepare a list of sources. Create an entry for each source used in your essay. Then double-check your essay against your list of sources cited; be sure that you have listed every source mentioned in the in-text citations or notes and that you have not listed any sources not cited in your essay. (For guidelines on documentation styles, see Chapters 48–54.) 18g Prepare and proofread your final copy. To make sure that the final version of your essay puts your best foot forward, proofread it carefully. Work with a hard copy, since reading onscreen often leads to inaccuracies and missed typos. Proofread once for typographical and grammatical errors and once again to make sure you haven’t introduced new errors. (To locate examples of student writing in this book and on the Web site, see the Student Writing Directory at the back of this book.) EXERCISE 18.2: THINKING CRITICALLY Reflect on the research project you have completed. How did you go about organizing your information? What would you do to improve this process? What problems did you encounter in drafting? How did you solve these problems? How many quotations did you use, and how did you integrate them into your text? When and why did you use summaries and paraphrases? If you used any visuals, how effective were they in supporting your points? What did you learn from revising? 213 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page ii this page left intentionally blank Language Language There is nothing wrong, really, with any word –– all are good, but some are better than others. — WILLIAM STRUNK JR. AND E. B. WHITE Language 215–252 Language 19 Writing to the World a b c d e f g 217 What you consider “normal” 217 Defining your terms 218 Your own authority as a writer 218 Your responsibility to your audience 219 What counts as evidence 220 Organization 220 Style 221 20 Language That Builds Common Ground a b c d Unstated assumptions and stereotypes 222 Assumptions about gender 223 Assumptions about race and ethnicity 224 Other kinds of difference 225 21 Language Variety a b c d 227 Standard varieties of English 228 Ethnic varieties of English 228 Regional varieties of English 229 Other languages 230 22 Word Choice and Spelling a b c d e f 231 Appropriate formality 231 Denotation and connotation 234 General and specific language 236 Figurative language 237 Spell checkers 239 Spelling rules 241 23 Glossary of Usage 243 222 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 217 Writing to the World 19 People today often communicate instantaneously across cultures and distances. Workers conduct multinational transactions, students take online classes from distant universities, and grandparents check in with family members across multiple time zones. In this era of global communication, you might find yourself writing to (or with) students throughout the country or even across the globe, and you may be in classes with people from other language groups and countries. In business, government, and education, writers increasingly operate on an international stage and must become world writers, able to communicate across cultures. AT A GLANCE Communicating across Cultures • Recognize what you consider normal. Examine your own customary behaviors and assumptions, and think about how they may affect what you think and say (and write). (19a) • When writing to someone from another culture, define your terms. (19b) • Think about your audience’s expectations. How much authority are you expected to have? (19c) How explicit does your writing need to be? (19d) • What kind of evidence will count most with your audience? (19e) • Organize your writing with your audience’s expectations in mind. (19f) • If in doubt, use formal style. (19g) 19a What you consider “normal” How do you decide what is “normal” in a given situation? More than likely, your judgment is based on assumptions that you are not even aware of. Remember that behavior that is considered out of place in one community may appear perfectly normal in another. If you want to 217 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 218 218 Language 19c Writing to the world communicate with people across cultures, try to learn something about the norms in those cultures and, even more important, be aware of the norms that guide your own behavior. • Remember that most of us tend to see our own way as the “normal” or right way to do things. How do your own values and assumptions guide your thinking and behavior? If your ways seem inherently right, then you may assume — even without thinking about it — that other ways are somehow less than right. • Know that most ways of communicating are influenced by cultural contexts and differ widely from one culture to the next. • Pay close attention to the ways that people from cultures other than your own communicate, and be flexible. • Pay attention to and respect the differences among individual people within a given culture. Don’t assume that all members of a community behave in the same way or value the same things. 19b Defining your terms When an instructor called for “originality” in his students’ essays, what did he mean? A Filipina student thought originality meant going to an original source and explaining it; a student from Massachusetts took originality to mean an idea entirely her own. The professor, however, expected students to read sources and develop a critical point of their own about the sources. This professor realized he must define originality in class and give examples of student work that he judged original. This brief example points to the challenges all writers face in trying to communicate across space, across languages, across cultures. While there are no foolproof rules, here are some tips for writing to people from cultures other than your own: • Don’t hesitate to ask people to explain a point if you’re not absolutely sure you understand. • Take care to be explicit about the meanings of the words you use. • Invite response — ask whether you’re making yourself clear. This kind of back-and-forth is particularly easy (and necessary) in email. 19c Your own authority as a writer In the United States, students are often asked to establish authority in their writing — by drawing on certain kinds of personal experience, by reporting on research they or others have conducted, or by taking a position for which they can offer strong evidence and support (2b). But this expectation about a writer’s authority is by no means universal. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 219 Your responsibility to your audience 19d Language Indeed, some cultures position student writers as novices whose job is to reflect what they learn from their teachers. One Japanese student, for example, said he was taught that it’s rude to challenge a teacher: “Are you ever so smart that you should challenge the wisdom of the ages?” As this student’s comment reveals, a writer’s tone also depends on his or her relationship with listeners and readers. As a world writer, you need to remember that those you’re addressing may hold very different attitudes about authority. • What is your relationship to those you are addressing? • What knowledge are you expected to have? Is it appropriate for or expected of you to demonstrate that knowledge — and if so, how? • What is your goal — to answer a question? to make a point? to agree? something else? • What tone is appropriate? If in doubt, show respect: politeness is never inappropriate. 19d Your responsibility to your audience In the United States and Great Britain, many audiences (and especially those in the academic and business worlds) expect a writer to “get to the point” as directly as possible and to take on the major responsibility of articulating that point efficiently and unambiguously. But not all audiences have such expectations. Thus, world writers must think carefully about whether audience members expect the writer to make the meaning of a text explicitly clear or, rather, expect to do some of the work themselves, supplying some of the information necessary to the meaning. A typical news report on British radio or television, for example, puts the overwhelming responsibility on the writer to present an unambiguous message. Such a report begins with a clear overview of all the major points to be covered, follows with an orderly discussion of each point, and ends with a brief summary. In many other cultures, however, writers organize information differently because they expect the audience to take more responsibility for figuring out what is being said. In fact, readers or listeners from some cultures may be insulted if they think they are being led by the hand through a report. Here are tips for thinking about reader and writer responsibility: • What general knowledge do members of your audience have about your topic? What information do they expect — or need — you to provide? • Do members of your audience tend to be very direct, saying explicitly what they mean? Or are they more subtle — less likely to call a spade a spade? Look for cues to determine how much responsibility you have as the writer. 219 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 220 220 Language 19e 19f Writing to the world What counts as evidence How do you decide what evidence will best support your ideas? The answer depends, in large part, on how you define evidence. Americans generally give great weight to factual evidence. Every writer must think carefully about how he or she uses evidence in writing and pay attention to what counts as evidence to members of other cultures. • Should you rely on facts? concrete examples? firsthand experience? • Should you include the testimony of experts? Which experts are valued most, and why? • Should you cite religious or philosophical texts? proverbs or everyday wisdom? other sources? • Should you use analogies as support? How much do they count? • Once you determine what counts as evidence in your own thinking and writing, think about where you learned to use and value this kind of evidence. You can ask these same questions about the use of evidence by members of other cultures. 19f Organization As you make choices about how to organize your writing, remember that cultural influences are at work here as well: the patterns that you find pleasing are likely to be those deeply embedded in your own culture. Many U.S. instructors prefer the following structure: introduction and thesis, necessary background, overview of the parts to follow, systematic presentation of evidence, consideration of other viewpoints, and conclusion. If a piece of writing follows this pattern, Anglo-American readers ordinarily find it well organized and coherent. However, in cultures that value indirection and subtlety, writers tend to organize materials differently. One common pattern in Korean writing, for example, includes an introduction; a topic with development; a tangential topic, again with development; and then a conclusion — with the thesis appearing only at the end. Other cultures value repetition: Arabic listeners, for example, expect a speaker to reiterate a major point from several different perspectives as a way of making that point. When writing for world audiences, then, think about how you can organize material to get your message across effectively. One expert in international business communication recommends, for 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 221 Style 19g Language example, that businesspeople writing to others in Japan should state their requests indirectly — and only after a formal and respectful opening. There are no hard-and-fast rules to help you organize your writing for effectiveness across cultures, but here are a couple of things for you to consider: • Determine when to state your thesis — at the beginning? at the end? somewhere else? not at all? • Consider whether digressions are a good idea, a requirement, or a mistake with your intended audience. 19g Style As with beauty, good style is most definitely in the eye of the beholder — and thus is always affected by language, culture, and rhetorical tradition. In fact, what constitutes effective style varies broadly across cultures and depends on the rhetorical situation — purpose, audience, and so on (see Chapter 5). Even so, there is one important style question to consider when writing across cultures: what level of formality is most appropriate? In the United States, a fairly informal tone is often acceptable in both writing and speech. Many cultures, however, tend to value a more formal approach. When in doubt, it may be wise to err on the side of formality in writing to people from other cultures, especially to elders or to those in authority. • Be careful to use proper titles: Dr. Beverly Moss Professor Jaime Mejía • Avoid slang (22a) and informal structures such as fragments (see Chapter 37). • Do not address readers by first names in correspondence (even in email) unless invited to do so. Note, however, that an invitation to use a first name may come indirectly; if someone signs an email message or letter to you with his or her first name, you are implicitly invited to use that name. • For international business email, avoid contractions. Open with the salutation “Dear Mr./Ms. .” Write dates by listing the day before the month and spelling out the name of the month rather than using a numeral (7 June 2004). Beyond formality, other stylistic preferences vary widely. World writers take nothing about language for granted. To be an effective world writer, you will want to work to recognize and respect those differences as you interact with members of other cultures. 221 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 222 222 Language 20a Language that builds common ground EXERCISE 19.1: THINKING CRITICALLY Choose one or two recent essays or other pieces of your writing, and examine them carefully, noting what you assume about what counts as persuasive evidence, good organization, and effective style. How do you represent yourself in relation to your audience? What other unstated assumptions about good writing can you identify? 20 Language That Builds Common Ground The golden rule of language use might be “Speak to others the way you want them to speak to you.” The words we select have power: they can praise, delight, inspire — and also hurt, offend, or even destroy. Words that offend prevent others from identifying with you and thus damage your credibility. Few absolute guidelines exist for using words that respect differences and build common ground. Two rules, however, can help: consider carefully the sensitivities and preferences of others, and watch for words that betray your assumptions, even when you have not directly stated them. AT A GLANCE Using Language That Builds Common Ground • Check for stereotypes and other assumptions that might come between you and your readers. Look, for instance, for language implying approval or disapproval and for the ways you use we, you, and they. (20a) • Avoid potentially sexist language. (20b) • Make sure your references to race, religion, sexual orientation, and so on are relevant or necessary to your discussion. If they are not, leave them out. (20c and d) • Check that the terms you use to refer to groups are accurate and acceptable. (20c and d) 20a Unstated assumptions and stereotypes Unstated assumptions that enter into thinking and writing can destroy common ground by ignoring important differences between others and ourselves. For example, a student in a religion seminar who uses we to refer to Christians and they to refer to members of other religions had better be sure that everyone in the class is Christian, or some may feel left out of the discussion. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 223 Assumptions about gender 20b Language At the same time, don’t overgeneralize about or stereotype a group of people. Because stereotypes are often based on half-truths, misunderstandings, and hand-me-down prejudices, they can lead to intolerance, bias, and bigotry. Sometimes stereotypes and assumptions lead writers to call special attention to a group affiliation when it is not relevant to the point, as in a woman plumber or a white basketball player. Even positive stereotypes — for example, Jewish doctors are the best — or neutral ones — all college students like pizza — can hurt, for they inevitably ignore the uniqueness of an individual. Careful writers make sure that their language doesn’t stereotype any group or individual. 20b Assumptions about gender Powerful gender-related words can subtly affect our thinking and our behavior. For instance, at one time many young women were discouraged from pursuing careers in medicine or engineering at least partially because speakers commonly referred to hypothetical doctors or engineers as he (and then labeled a woman who worked as a doctor a woman doctor, as if to say, “She’s an exception; doctors are normally men”). Similarly, a label like male nurse may offend by reflecting stereotyped assumptions about proper roles for men. Equally problematic is the traditional use of man and mankind to refer to people of both sexes and the use of he and him to refer generally to any human being. Because such usage ignores half of the people on earth, it hardly helps a writer build common ground. Sexist language, those words and phrases that stereotype or ignore members of either sex or that unnecessarily call attention to gender, can usually be revised fairly easily. There are several alternatives to using masculine pronouns to refer to persons whose gender is unknown to the writer. One option is to recast the sentence using plural forms. Lawyers they 䊳 A lawyer must pass the bar exam before he can begin to practice. ^ ^ Another option is to substitute pairs of pronouns such as he or she, him or her, and so on. or she 䊳 A lawyer must pass the bar exam before he can begin to practice. ^ Yet another way to revise the sentence is to eliminate the pronouns. beginning 䊳 A lawyer must pass the bar exam before he can begin to practice. ^ Beyond the pronoun issue, try to eliminate sexist nouns from your writing. 223 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 224 224 Language 20c Language that builds common ground INSTEAD OF TRY USING anchorman, anchorwoman businessman anchor businessperson, business executive chair, chairperson member of Congress, representative firefighter mail carrier nurse humans, human beings, humanity, the human race, humankind workers, personnel parenting police officer salesperson, sales associate engineer chairman, chairwoman congressman fireman mailman male nurse man, mankind manpower mothering policeman, policewoman salesman woman engineer EXERCISE 20.1 The following excerpt is taken from the 1968 edition of Dr. Benjamin Spock’s Baby and Child Care. Read it carefully, noting any language we might now consider sexist. Then try bringing it up-to-date by revising the passage, substituting nonsexist language as necessary. When you suggest something that doesn’t appeal to your baby, he feels he must assert himself. His nature tells him to. He just says No in words or actions, even about things that he likes to do. The psychologists call it “negativism”; mothers call it “that terrible No stage.” But stop and think what would happen to him if he never felt like saying No. He’d become a robot, a mechanical man. You wouldn’t be able to resist the temptation to boss him all the time, and he’d stop learning and developing. When he was old enough to go out into the world, to school and later to work, everybody else would take advantage of him, too. He’d never be good for anything. 20c Assumptions about race and ethnicity In building common ground, writers must watch for any words that ignore differences not only among individual members of a race or ethnic group but also among subgroups. Writers must be aware, for instance, of the 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 225 Other kinds of difference 20d Language many nations to which American Indians belong and of the diverse places from which Americans of Spanish-speaking ancestry have emigrated. Preferred terms Identifying preferred terms is sometimes not an easy task, for they can change often and vary widely. The word colored, for example, was once widely used in the United States to refer to Americans of African ancestry. By the 1950s, the preferred term had become Negro. This changed in the 1960s, however, as black came to be preferred by most, though certainly not all, members of that community. Then, in the late 1980s, some leaders of the American black community urged that black be replaced by African American. The word Oriental, once used to refer to people of East Asian descent, is now often considered offensive. At the University of California at Berkeley, the Oriental Languages Department is now known as the East Asian Languages Department. One advocate of the change explained that Oriental is appropriate for objects––like rugs––but not for people. Once widely preferred, the term Native American is being challenged by those who argue that the most appropriate way to refer to indigenous people is by the specific name of the tribe or pueblo, such as Chippewa or Tesuque. In Alaska and parts of Canada, many indigenous peoples once referred to as Eskimos now prefer Inuit or a specific term such as Tlinget. It has also become fairly common for tribal groups to refer to themselves as Indians or Indian tribes. Among Americans of Spanish-speaking descent, the preferred terms of reference are many: Chicano/Chicana, Hispanic, Latin American, Latino/ Latina, Mexican American, Dominican, and Puerto Rican, to name but a few. Clearly, then, ethnic terminology changes often enough to challenge even the most careful writers — including writers who belong to the groups they are writing about. The best advice may be to consider your words carefully, to listen for the way members of groups refer to themselves (or ask about preferences), and to check any term you’re unsure of in a current dictionary. 20d Other kinds of difference Age Mention age if it is relevant, but be aware that age-related terms (matronly, well-preserved, and so on) can carry derogatory connotations. Describing Mr. Fry as elderly but still active may sound polite to you, but chances are Mr. Fry would prefer being called an active seventy-eight-year-old — or just 225 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 226 226 Language 20d Language that builds common ground a seventy-eight-year-old, which eliminates the unstated assumption of surprise that he is active at his age. Class Take special care to examine your words for assumptions about class. As a writer, you should not assume that all your readers share your background or values — that your classmates all own cars, for instance. And avoid using any words — redneck, blueblood, and the like — that might alienate members of an audience. Geographic area You should not assume that geography determines personality or lifestyle. New Englanders are not all thrifty and tight-lipped; people in “red states” may hold liberal views; midwesterners are not always polite. Be careful not to make simplistic assumptions. Check also that you use geographical terms accurately. AMERICA, AMERICAN Although many people use these words to refer to the United States alone, such usage will not necessarily be acceptable to people from Canada, Mexico, and Central or South America. BRITISH, ENGLISH Use British to refer to the island of Great Britain, which includes England, Scotland, and Wales, or to the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. In general, do not use English for these broader senses. ARAB This term refers only to people of Arabic-speaking descent. Note that Iran is not an Arab nation; its people speak Farsi, not Arabic. Note also that Arab is not synonymous with Muslim or Moslem (a believer in Islam). Most (but not all) Arabs are Muslim, but many Muslims (those in Pakistan, for example) are not Arab. Physical ability or health When writing about a person with a serious illness or physical disability, ask yourself whether mentioning the disability is relevant to your discussion and whether the words you use carry negative connotations. You might choose, for example, to say someone uses a wheelchair rather than to say he or she is confined to one. Similarly, you might note a subtle but meaningful difference in calling someone a person with AIDS rather than an AIDS victim. Mentioning the person first and the disability second, such as referring to a child with diabetes rather than a diabetic child or a diabetic, is always a good idea. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 227 Language variety 21 Language CONSIDERING DISABILITIES Knowing Your Readers Nearly 10 percent of first-year college students — about 155,000 — identify themselves as having one or more disabilities. That’s no small number. Effective writers consider their own and their readers’ disabilities so that they can find ways to build common ground. Religion Assumptions about religious groups are very often inaccurate and unfair. For example, Roman Catholics hold a wide spectrum of views on abortion, Muslim women do not all wear veils, and many Baptists are not fundamentalists. In fact, many people do not believe in or practice a religion at all, so be careful of such assumptions. As in other cases, do not use religious labels without considering their relevance to your point. Sexual orientation If you wish to build common ground, do not assume that readers all share one sexual orientation. As with any label, reference to sexual orientation should be governed by context. Someone writing about Representative Barney Frank’s economic views would probably have little if any reason to refer to his sexual orientation. On the other hand, someone writing about diversity in U.S. government might find it important to note that Frank has long made his homosexuality public. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Language That Builds Common Ground. Language Variety 21 Comedian Dave Chappelle has said, “Every black American is bilingual. We speak street vernacular, and we speak job interview.” As Chappelle understands, English comes in many varieties that differ from one another in pronunciation, vocabulary, usage, and grammar. You probably already adjust the variety of language you use depending on how well — and how formally — you know the audience you are addressing. Adding 227 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 228 228 Language 21b Language variety language variety to your writing can improve your communication with your audience if you think carefully about the effect you want to achieve. AT A GLANCE Language Variety You can use different varieties of language to good effect for the following purposes: • to repeat someone’s exact words • to evoke a person, place, or activity • to establish your credibility and build common ground • to make a strong point • to connect with an audience 21a Standard varieties of English How do writers decide when to use another language or switch from one variety of English to another? Even writers who are perfectly fluent in several languages must think for a moment before switching linguistic gears. The key to shifting among varieties of English and among languages is appropriateness: you need to consider when such shifts will help your audience appreciate your message and when shifts may be a mistake. Used appropriately and wisely, any variety of English can serve a good purpose. One variety of English, often referred to as the “standard” or “standard academic,” is that taught prescriptively in schools, represented in this and most other textbooks, used in the national media, and written and spoken widely by those wielding social and economic power. As the language used in business and most public institutions, standard English is a variety you will want to be completely familiar with. Standard English, however, is only one of many effective varieties of English and itself varies according to purpose and audience, from the more formal style used in academic writing to the informal style characteristic of casual conversation. 21b Ethnic varieties of English Whether you are an American Indian or trace your ancestry to Europe, Asia, Africa, Latin America, or elsewhere, you have an ethnic heritage that probably lives on in the English language. See how one Hawaiian writer uses an ethnic variety of English to paint a picture of young teens hearing a scary “chicken skin” story about sharks from their grandmother. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 229 Regional varieties of english 21c Language “— So, rather dan being rid of da shark, da people were stuck with many little ones, for dere mistake.” Then Grandma Wong wen’ pause, for dramatic effect, I guess, and she wen’ add, “Dis is one of dose times. . . . Da time of da sharks.” Those words ended another of Grandma’s chicken skin stories. The stories she told us had been passed on to her by her grandmother, who had heard them from her grandmother. Always skipping a generation. – RODNEY MORALES, “When the Shark Bites” The narrator uses both standard and ethnic varieties of English — presenting information necessary to the story line mostly in standard English and using a local, ethnic variety to represent spoken language, which helps readers hear the characters talk. Another important reason for the shift from standard English is to demonstrate that the writer is a member of the community whose language he is representing and thus to build his credibility with others in the community. Take care, however, in using the language of communities other than your own. When used inappropriately, such language can have an opposite effect, perhaps destroying credibility and alienating your audience. bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For more on using varieties of English, go to Links and click on Language. D 21c Regional varieties of English Using regional language is an effective way to evoke a character or place. See how a linguistic anthropologist weaves together regional and standard academic English in writing about one Carolina community when she lets a resident of Roadville speak her mind — and in her own words. For Roadville, schooling is something most folks have not gotten enough of, but everybody believes will do something toward helping an individual “get on.” In the words of one oldtime resident, “Folks that ain’t got no schooling don’t get to be nobody nowadays.” – SHIRLEY BRICE HEATH, Ways with Words EXERCISE 21.1 Identify the purpose and audience for one of this chapter’s examples of ethnic or regional English. Then rewrite the passage to remove all evidence of any variety of English other than the so-called standard. Compare your revised version with the original and with those produced by some of your classmates. What differences do you notice in tone (is it more formal? more distant? something else?) and in overall impression? Which version seems most appropriate for the intended audience and purpose? Which do you prefer — and why? 229 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 230 230 Language 21d 21d Language variety Other languages You might use a language other than English for the same reasons you might use different varieties of English: to represent the actual words of a speaker, to make a point, to connect with your audience, or to get their attention. See how Gerald Haslam uses Spanish to capture his greatgrandmother’s words and to make a point about his relationship to her. “Expectoran su sangre!” exclaimed Great-grandma when I showed her the small horned toad I had removed from my breast pocket. I turned toward my mother, who translated: “They spit blood.” “De los ojos,” Grandma added. “From their eyes,” mother explained, herself uncomfortable in the presence of the small beast. I grinned, “Awwwwwww.” But my Great-grandmother did not smile. “Son muy tóxicos,” she nodded with finality. Mother moved back an involuntary step, her hands suddenly busy at her breast. “Put that thing down,” she ordered. “His name’s John,” I said. – GERALD HASLAM, California Childhood FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Recognizing Global English English is used in many countries around the world, resulting in many global varieties. For example, British English differs from U.S. English in certain vocabulary (bonnet for hood of a car), syntax (to hospital rather than to the hospital), spelling (centre rather than center), and, of course, pronunciation. If you have learned a British variety of English, you will want to recognize the ways in which it differs from the U.S. standard. EXERCISE 21.2: THINKING CRITICALLY The following description of a meal features English that is characteristic of the Florida backwoods in the 1930s. Using this passage as an example, write a description of a memorable event from your daily life. Try to include some informal dialogue. Then look at the language you used — do you use more than one variety of English? What effect does your use of language have on your description? Jody heard nothing; saw nothing but his plate. He had never been so hungry in his life, and after a lean winter and a slow spring . . . his mother had cooked a supper good enough for the preacher. There were poke-greens with bits of white bacon buried in them; sandbuggers made of potato and onion and the cooter he had found crawling yesterday; sour orange biscuits and at his mother’s elbow the sweet potato pone. He was torn between his desire for more biscuits and another sandbugger and the knowledge, born of painful experience, that if he ate them, he would suddenly have no room for pone. The choice was plain. — MARJORIE KINNAN RAWLINGS, The Yearling 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 231 Word Choice and Spelling 22 Deciding which word is the right word can be a challenge. It’s not unusual to find many words that have similar but subtly different meanings, and each makes a different impression on your audience. For instance, the “pasta with marinara sauce” presented in a restaurant may look and taste much like the “macaroni and gravy” served at an Italian family dinner, but the choice of one label rather than the other tells us not only about the food but also about the people serving it and the people they expect to serve it to. Ensuring that you choose the correct spelling for the word you want to use is also important. Spell checkers can help you avoid some errors, but they can also make other mistakes more likely, including word choice errors, so use them with care. AT A GLANCE Editing for Appropriate Language and Spelling • Check to see that your language reflects the appropriate level of formality for your audience, purpose, and topic. (22a) • Unless you are writing for a specialized audience that will understand jargon, either define technical terms or replace them with words that are easy to understand. (22a) • Consider the connotations of words carefully. If you say someone is pushy, be sure you mean to be critical; otherwise, use a word like assertive. (22b) • Use both general and specific words. If you are writing about the general category beds, for example, do you give enough concrete detail (an antique four-poster bed)? (22c) • Look for clichés, and replace them with fresher language. (22d) • Use spell checkers with care. (22e) 22a Appropriate formality Choose a level of formality that matches your audience, purpose, and topic. In an email or letter to a friend or close associate, informal language is often appropriate. For most academic and professional writing, however, more formal language is appropriate because you are addressing people you do not know well. Compare the following responses to a request for information about a job candidate: EMAIL TO SOMEONE YOU KNOW WELL Maisha is great — hire her if you can! 231 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 232 232 Language 22a Word choice and spelling LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION TO SOMEONE YOU DO NOT KNOW I am pleased to recommend Maisha Fisher. She will bring good ideas and extraordinary energy to your organization. Slang and colloquial language Slang, or extremely informal language, is often confined to a relatively small group and usually becomes obsolete rather quickly, though some slang gains wide use (yuppie, duh). Colloquial language, such as a lot, in a bind, or snooze, is less informal, more widely used, and longer lasting than most slang. Writers who use slang and colloquial language run the risk of not being understood or of not being taken seriously. If you are writing for a general audience about gun-control legislation, for example, and you use the term gat to refer to a weapon, some readers may not know what you mean, and others may be irritated by what they see as a frivolous reference to a deadly serious subject. EXERCISE 22.1 Choose something or someone to describe — a favorite cousin, a stranger on the bus, an automobile, a musical instrument, whatever strikes your fancy. Describe your subject using colloquial language and slang. Then rewrite the description, this time using neither of these. Read the two passages aloud, and note what different effects each creates. TALKING THE TALK Messaging Shortcuts “Can I use messaging shortcuts when I contact my teacher?” Messaging slang, such as u for you, may be second nature for many students, but using such shortcuts when communicating with an instructor can be a mistake. On an IM thread or in a text message, shortcuts can indeed be conventional usage. But at least some of your instructors are likely to view them as disrespectful, unprofessional, or simply sloppy writing. Unless you are working to create a special effect for a special purpose and audience, keep to the conventions of standard English for college writing—and for contacting your instructor. Jargon Jargon is the special vocabulary of a trade or profession. Reserve technical language as much as possible for an audience that understands your terms, and replace or define such terms for audiences that may not share the vocabulary. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 233 Appropriate formality 22a Language JARGON The VDTs in composition were down last week, so we had to lay out on dummies and crop and size the art with a wheel. REVISED FOR A GENERAL AUDIENCE The video display terminals were not working last week in the composing room, where models of the newspaper pages are made up for printing, so we had to arrange the contents of each page on a large sheet and use a wheel, a kind of circular slide rule, to figure out the size and shape of the illustrations. Pompous language, euphemisms, and doublespeak Stuffy or pompous language is unnecessarily formal for the purpose, audience, or topic. It often gives writing an insincere or unintentionally humorous tone, making a writer’s ideas seem insignificant or even unbelievable. POMPOUS Pursuant to the August 9 memorandum regarding the increased unitcost of automotive fuels, it is incumbent upon us to endeavor to make maximal utilization of electronic or telephonic communication in lieu of personal visitation. REVISED As noted in the August 9 memo, higher gasoline prices require us to email or telephone whenever possible rather than make personal visits. As these examples illustrate, some writers use words in an attempt to sound expert, and these puffed-up words can easily backfire. INSTEAD OF TRY USING INSTEAD OF TRY USING ascertain commence finalize impact (as verb) methodology find out begin finish, complete affect method optimal parameters peruse ramp up utilize best boundaries look at increase use Euphemisms are words and phrases that make unpleasant ideas seem less harsh. Your position is being eliminated seeks to soften the blow of being fired or laid off. Other euphemisms include pass on or pass away for die and sanitation engineer for garbage collector. Although euphemisms can sometimes appeal to an audience by showing that you are considerate of people’s feelings, they can also sound insincere or evasive. 233 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 234 234 22b Language Word choice and spelling Doublespeak is language used to hide or distort the truth. During massive layoffs and cutbacks in the business world, companies speak of firings as work reengineering, employee repositioning, proactive downsizing, deverticalization, smartsizing, and special reprogramming. The public — and particularly those who lose their jobs — recognize these terms for what they are. EXERCISE 22.2 Revise each of these sentences to use formal language consistently. Example: Although be enthusiastic as soon as I can get all enthused about writing, but I sit down to write, and my ^ ^ blank. ^ mind goes right to sleep. ^ 1. Desdemona is a wimp; she just lies down and dies, accepting her death as inevitable. 2. Some people feel that “The Star-Spangled Banner,” which is kind of obsessed with war, should be dumped as our national anthem in favor of “America the Beautiful.” 3. Finding all that loot in King Tut’s tomb was one of the biggest archeological scores of the twentieth century. 4. The more she freaked out about his actions, the more he rebelled and continued doing what he pleased. 5. My family lived in Trinidad for the first ten years of my life, and we went through a lot, but when we came to the United States, we thought we had it made. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Avoiding Fancy Language In writing standard academic English, which is fairly formal, students are often tempted to use many “big words” instead of simple language. Although learning impressive words can be a good way to expand your vocabulary, it is usually best to avoid flowery or fancy language in college writing. Academic writing at U.S. universities tends to value clear, concise prose. 22b Denotation and connotation Thinking of a stone tossed into a pool and ripples spreading out from it can help you understand the distinction between denotation and connotation. Denotation refers to the general, or dictionary, meaning of a word, whereas connotation refers to the associations that accompany the word. The words enthusiasm, passion, and obsession, for instance, all carry 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 235 Denotation and connotation 22b Language roughly the same denotation. But the connotations are quite different: an enthusiasm is a pleasurable and absorbing interest; a passion has a strong emotional component and may affect someone positively or negatively; an obsession is an unhealthy attachment that excludes other interests. Note the differences in connotation among the following three statements: 䊳 Students Against Racism (SAR) erected a temporary barrier on the campus oval. They say it symbolizes “the many barriers to those discriminated against by university policies.“ 䊳 Left-wing agitators threw up an eyesore on the oval to stampede the university into giving in to their demands. 䊳 Supporters of human rights for all students challenged the university’s investment in racism by erecting a protest barrier on campus. The first statement is the most neutral, merely stating facts; the second, using words with negative connotations (agitators, eyesore, stampede), is strongly critical; the third, using a phrase with positive connotations (supporters of human rights) and presenting assertions as facts (the university’s investment in racism), gives a favorable slant to the story. EXERCISE 22.3 From the parentheses, choose the word with the denotation that makes most sense in the context of the sentence. Use a dictionary if necessary. 1. She listened (apprehensively/attentively) to the lecture and took notes. 2. The telemarketers were told to (empathize/emphasize) more expensive items. 3. The interns were (conscientious/conscious) workers who listened carefully and learned fast. 4. Franklin advised his readers to be (feudal/frugal) and industrious. EXERCISE 22.4 Study the italicized words in each of the following passages, and decide what each word’s connotations contribute to your understanding of the passage. Think of a synonym for each word, and see if you can decide what difference the new word would make on the effect of the passage. 1. If boxing is a sport, it is the most tragic of all sports because, more than any human activity, it consumes the very excellence it displays: Its very drama is this consumption. — JOYCE CAROL OATES, “On Boxing” 2. Then one evening Miss Glory told me to serve the ladies on the porch. After I set the tray down and turned toward the kitchen, one of the women asked, “What’s your name, girl?” — MAYA ANGELOU, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings 3. The Kiowas are a summer people; they abide the cold and keep to themselves; but when the season turns and the land becomes warm and vital, they cannot hold still. — N. SCOTT MOMADAY, “The Way to Rainy Mountain” 235 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 236 236 Language 22c 22c Word choice and spelling General and specific language Effective writers balance general words, which name or describe groups or classes, with specific words, which identify individual and particular things. Some general words are abstract; they refer to things we cannot perceive through our five senses. Specific words are often concrete; they name things we can see, hear, touch, taste, or smell. We can seldom draw a clear-cut line between general or abstract words on the one hand and specific or concrete words on the other. Instead, most words fall somewhere in between. GENERAL LESS GENERAL SPECIFIC MORE SPECIFIC book dictionary abridged dictionary my 2004 edition of The American Heritage College Dictionary ABSTRACT LESS ABSTRACT CONCRETE MORE CONCRETE culture visual art painting van Gogh’s Starry Night Strong writing usually provides readers with both an overall picture and specific examples or concrete details to fill in that picture. In the following passage, the author might have simply made a general statement — their breakfast was always liberal and good — or simply given the details of the breakfast. Instead, he is both general and specific. There would be a brisk fire crackling in the hearth, the old smoke-gold of morning and the smell of fog, the crisp cheerful voices of the people and their ruddy competent morning look, and the cheerful smells of breakfast, which was always liberal and good, the best meal that they had: kidneys and ham and eggs and sausages and toast and marmalade and tea. –THOMAS WOLFE, Of Time and the River EXERCISE 22.5 Rewrite each of the following sentences to be more specific and concrete. 1. The entryway of the building was dirty. 2. The sounds at dawn are memorable. 3. Our holiday dinner tasted good. 4. The attendant came toward the car. 5. I woke up. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 237 Figurative language 22d 22d Language Figurative language Figurative language, or figures of speech, can paint pictures in a reader’s mind, allowing one to “see” a point readily and clearly. Far from being merely decorative, such language can be crucial to understanding. Similes, metaphors, and analogies Similes use like, as, as if, or as though to make explicit the similarity between two seemingly different things. 䊳 You can tell the graphic-novels section in a bookstore from afar, by the young bodies sprawled around it like casualties of a localized disaster. – PETER SCHJELDAHL 䊳 The comb felt as if it was raking my skin off. – MALCOM X, “My First Conk” Metaphors are implicit comparisons, omitting the like, as, as if, or as though of similes. 䊳 The Internet is the new town square. – REP. JEB HENSARLING Mixed metaphors make comparisons that are inconsistent. 䊳 The lectures were like brilliant comets streaking through the night sky, dazzling 䊳 flashes showering listeners with a torrential rain of insights. ^ ^ The images of streaking light and heavy precipitation are inconsistent; in the revised sentence, all of the images relate to light. Analogies compare similar features of two dissimilar things; they explain something unfamiliar by relating it to something familiar. 䊳 Raised from childhood with a love for the wilderness, 63-year-old Doug Seus is distinctly bearlike himself, with a voice that growls and a penchant for grabbing visitors in an affectionate hug. – ROGER TOLL, “The Claws in His Contract” 䊳 One Hundred and Twenty-fifth Street was to Harlem what the Mississippi was to the South, a long traveling river always going somewhere, carrying something. – MAYA ANGELOU, The Heart of a Woman FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Learning Idioms Why do you wear a diamond on your finger but in your ear? See 59a. 237 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 238 238 Language 22d Word choice and spelling Clichés A cliché is a frequently used expression such as busy as a bee. By definition, we use clichés all the time, especially in speech, and many serve usefully as shorthand for familiar ideas or as a way of connecting to an audience. But if you use too many clichés in your writing, readers may conclude that what you are saying is not very new or interesting — or true. To check for clichés, use this rule of thumb: if you can predict exactly what the next word in a phrase will be, the phrase stands a good chance of being a cliché. EXERCISE 22.6 Return to the description you wrote in Exercise 22.1. Note any words that carry strong connotations, and identify the concrete and abstract language as well as any use of figurative language. Revise any inappropriate language you find. EXERCISE 22.7: THINKING CRITICALLY Read the following brief poem. What dominant feeling or impression does the poem produce in you? Identify the specific words and phrases that help create that impression. What happens to a dream deferred? Does it dry up Like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore — And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over — Like a syrupy sweet? Maybe it just sags Like a heavy load. Or does it explode? — LANGSTON HUGHES, “Harlem (A Dream Deferred)” EXERCISE 22.8 Choose the appropriate word in parentheses to fill each blank. If friendly (your/you’re) looking for summer fun, (accept/except) the (advice/advise) of thousands of happy adventurers: spend three (weaks/weeks) kayaking (thorough/threw/through) the Inside Passage (to/too/two) Alaska. For ten years, Outings, Inc., has (lead/led) groups of novice kayakers (passed/past) some of the most breathtaking scenery in North America. The group’s goal is simple: to give participants the time of (their/there/they’re) lives and show them things they don’t see (every day/everyday). As one of last year’s adventurers said, “ (Its/It’s) a trip that is (already/all ready) one of my favorite memories. It (affected/effected) me powerfully.” 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 239 Spell checkers D 22e 22e Language bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Appropriate Language. Spell checkers Research conducted for this textbook shows that spelling errors have changed dramatically in the past twenty years — and the reason is spell checkers. Although these programs have weeded out many once-common misspellings, they are not foolproof. Spell checkers still allow typical kinds of errors that you should look out for. • Homonyms. Spell checkers cannot distinguish between words such as affect and effect that sound alike but are spelled differently. • Proper nouns. A spell checker cannot tell you when you have misspelled a proper name. Proofread names with special care. • Compound words written as two words. Spell checkers will not see a problem if nowhere is incorrectly written as no where. When in doubt, check a dictionary. • Typos. The spell checker will not flag heat even if you meant to type heart. To make spell checkers work best for you, you need to learn to adapt them to your own needs. • Always proofread carefully, even after you have used the spell checker. The more important the message or document, the more careful you should be about its accuracy and clarity. • Keep a dictionary near your computer or bookmark a good online dictionary, and look up any word the spell checker highlights that you are not sure of. • If your spell checker‘s dictionary allows you to add new words, enter proper names, non-English words, or specialized language you use regularly and have trouble spelling. Be careful to enter the correct spelling! • If you know that you mix up certain homonyms, such as there and their, check for them after running your spell checker. • Remember that spell checkers are not sensitive to capitalization. If you write “the united states,” the spell checker won’t question it. 239 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 240 240 Language 22e Word choice and spelling TALKING THE TALK Spell Checkers and Wrong-Word Errors “Can I trust spell checkers to correct a word I’ve spelled wrong?” In a word, no. The spell checker may suggest bizarre substitutes for many proper names and specialized terms (even when you spell them correctly) and for certain typographical errors, thus introducing wrong words into your paper if you accept its suggestions automatically. For example, a student who had typed fantic instead of frantic found that the spell checker’s first choice was to substitute fanatic — a replacement that made no sense. Wrong-word errors are the most common surface error in college writing today (see Chapter 1), and spell checkers are partly to blame. So be careful not to take a spell checker’s recommendation without paying careful attention to the replacement word. Homonyms A relatively small number of homonyms — just eight groups — cause writers the most frequent trouble. accept (to take or receive) except (to leave out) affect (an emotion; to have an influence) effect (a result; to cause to happen) its (possessive of it) it’s (contraction of it is or it has) their (possessive of they) there (in that place) they’re (contraction of they are) to (in the direction of) too (in addition; excessive) two (number between one and three) weather (climatic conditions) whether (if) who’s (contraction of who is or who has) whose (possessive of who) your (possessive of you) you’re (contraction of you are) If you tend to confuse particular homonyms, try creating a special memory device to help you remember the differences. For example, “We all complain about the weather” will remind you that weather (the climate) starts with we. In addition, pay close attention to homonyms that may be spelled as one word or two, depending on the meaning. 䊳 Of course, they did not wear everyday clothes every day. 䊳 Before the six lawyers were all ready to negotiate, it was already May. 䊳 The director may be on time. But maybe she’ll be late. For additional advice on commonly confused words, see the glossary of usage in Chapter 23. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 241 Spelling rules 22f Language FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Recognizing American Spellings Different varieties of English often use different spelling conventions. If you have learned British or Indian English, for example, you will want to be aware of some of the more common spelling differences in American English. For example, words ending in –yse or –ise in British/Indian English (analyse, criticise) usually end in –yze or –ize in American English (analyze, criticize); words ending in –our in British/Indian English (labour, colour) usually end in –or in American English (labor, color); and words ending in –re in British/Indian English (theatre, centre) usually end in –er in American English (theater, center). 22f Spelling rules General spelling rules can help writers enormously, but many rules have exceptions. When in doubt, consult a dictionary. i before e except after c Here is a slightly expanded version of the “i before e” rule: I BEFORE E achieve, brief, field, friend EXCEPT AFTER C ceiling, receipt, perceive OR WHEN PRONOUNCED AY eighth, neighbor, reign, weigh OR IN WEIRD EXCEPTIONS either, foreign, height, leisure, neither, seize Word endings (suffixes) FINAL SILENT E Drop the final silent e when you add an ending that starts with a vowel. imagine + -able = imaginable exercise + -ing = exercising Generally, keep the final e if the ending starts with a consonant. Common exceptions include argument, judgment, noticeable, and truly. force + -ful = forceful state + -ly = stately FINAL Y When adding an ending to a word that ends in a consonant plus y, change the y to an i in most cases. try, tried busy, busily 241 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 242 242 Language 22f Word choice and spelling Keep the y if it is part of a proper name or if the ending begins with i. Kennedy, Kennedyesque dry, drying FINAL CONSONANTS When adding an ending beginning with a vowel to a word that ends with a vowel and a consonant, double the final consonant if the original word is one syllable or if the accent is on the same syllable in both the original and the new word. stop, stopped begin, beginner refer, referral Otherwise, do not double the final consonant. bait, baiting start, started refer, reference Plurals ADDING –S OR -ES For most nouns, add -s. For words ending in s, ch, sh, x, or z, add -es. pencil, pencils church, churches bus, buses In general, add -s to nouns ending in o if the o is preceded by a vowel. Add -es if the o is preceded by a consonant. rodeo, rodeos patio, patios potato, potatoes hero, heroes For some nouns ending in f or fe, change f to v, and add -s or -es. calf, calves life, lives hoof, hooves For compound nouns written as separate or hyphenated words, make the most important part plural, whether or not it is the last part of the compound. lieutenant governors brothers-in-law For plurals of numbers and words used as terms, see 41c. CONSIDERING DISABILITIES Spelling Spelling is especially difficult for people who have trouble processing letters and sounds in sequence. Technology can help: “talking pens” can scan words and read them aloud, and voice-recognition programs can transcribe dictated text. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Spelling. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 243 Glossary of Usage 23 Conventions of usage might be called the “good manners” of discourse. And just as manners vary from culture to culture and time to time, so do conventions of usage. Matters of usage, like other language choices you must make, depend on what your purpose is and on what is appropriate for a particular audience at a particular time. a, an Use a with a word that begins with a consonant (a book), a consonant sound such as “y” or “w” (a euphoric moment, a one-sided match), or a sounded h (a hemisphere). Use an with a word that begins with a vowel (an umbrella), a vowel sound (an X-ray), or a silent h (an honor). accept, except The verb accept means “receive” or “agree to.” Except is usually a preposition that means “aside from” or “excluding.” All the plaintiffs except Mr. Kim decided to accept the settlement. advice, advise The noun advice means “opinion” or “suggestion”; the verb advise means “offer advice.” Doctors advise everyone not to smoke, but many people ignore the advice. affect, effect As a verb, affect means “influence” or “move the emotions of”; as a noun, it means “emotions” or “feelings.” Effect is a noun meaning “result”; less commonly, it is a verb meaning “bring about.” The storm affected a large area. Its effects included widespread power failures. The drug effected a major change in the patient’s affect. aggravate The formal meaning is “make worse.” Having another mouth to feed aggravated their poverty. In academic and professional writing, avoid using aggravate to mean “irritate” or “annoy.” all ready, already All ready means “fully prepared.” Already means “previously.” We were all ready for Lucy’s party when we learned that she had already left. all right, alright Avoid the spelling alright. all together, altogether All together means “all in a group” or “gathered in one place.” Altogether means “completely” or “everything considered.” When the board members were all together, their mutual distrust was altogether obvious. allude, elude Allude means “refer indirectly.” Elude means “avoid” or “escape from.” The candidate did not even allude to her opponent. The suspect eluded the police for several days. allusion, illusion An allusion is an indirect reference. An illusion is a false or misleading appearance. The speaker’s allusion to the Bible created an illusion of piety. a lot Avoid the spelling alot. already See all ready, already. alright See all right, alright. altogether See all together, altogether. 243 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 244 244 Language 23 Glossary of usage among, between In referring to two things or people, use between. In referring to three or more, use among. The relationship between the twins is different from that among the other three children. amount, number Use amount with quantities you cannot count; use number for quantities you can count. A small number of volunteers cleared a large amount of brush. an See a, an. and/or Avoid this term except in business or legal writing. Instead of fat and/or protein, write fat, protein, or both. any body, anybody, any one, anyone Anybody and anyone are pronouns meaning “any person.” Anyone [or anybody] would enjoy this film. Any body is an adjective modifying a noun. Any body of water has its own ecology. Any one is two adjectives or a pronoun modified by an adjective. Customers could buy only two sale items at any one time. The winner could choose any one of the prizes. anyplace In academic and professional discourse, use anywhere instead. anyway, anyways In writing, use anyway, not anyways. apt, liable, likely Likely to means “probably will,” and apt to means “inclines or tends to.” In many instances, they are interchangeable. Liable often carries a more negative sense and is also a legal term meaning “obligated” or “responsible.” as Avoid sentences in which it is not clear if as means “when” or “because.” For example, does Carl left town as his father was arriving mean “at the same time as his father was arriving” or “because his father was arriving”? as, as if, like In academic and professional writing, use as or as if instead of like to introduce a clause. The dog howled as if [not like] it were in pain. She did as [not like] I suggested. assure, ensure, insure Assure means “convince” or “promise”; its direct object is usually a person or persons. She assured voters she would not raise taxes. Ensure and insure both mean “make certain,” but insure usually refers specifically to protection against financial loss. When the city rationed water to ensure that the supply would last, the Browns could no longer afford to insure their car-wash business. as to Do not use as to as a substitute for about. Karen was unsure about [not as to] Bruce’s intentions. at, where See where. awhile, a while Always use a while after a preposition such as for, in, or after. We drove awhile and then stopped for a while. bad, badly Use bad after a linking verb such as be, feel, or seem. Use badly to modify an action verb, an adjective, or another verb. The hostess felt bad because the dinner was badly prepared. bare, bear Use bare to mean “uncovered” and bear to refer to the animal or to mean “carry” or “endure”: The walls were bare. The emptiness was hard to bear. because of, due to Use due to when the effect, stated as a noun, appears before the verb be. His illness was due to malnutrition. (Illness, a noun, is the effect.) Use 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 245 Glossary of usage 23 Language because of when the effect is stated as a clause. He was sick because of malnutrition. (He was sick, a clause, is the effect.) being as, being that In academic or professional writing, use because or since instead of these expressions. Because [not being as] Romeo killed Tybalt, he was banished to Padua. beside, besides Beside is a preposition meaning “next to.” Besides can be a preposition meaning “other than” or an adverb meaning “in addition.” No one besides Francesca would sit beside him. between See among, between. brake, break Brake means “to stop” and also refers to a stopping mechanism: Check the brakes. Break means “fracture” or an interruption: The coffee break was too short. breath, breathe Breath is a noun; breathe, a verb. “Breathe,” said the nurse, so June took a deep breath. bring, take Use bring when an object is moved from a farther to a nearer place; use take when the opposite is true. Take the box to the post office; bring back my mail. but, yet Do not use these words together. He is strong but [not but yet] gentle. but that, but what Avoid using these as substitutes for that in expressions of doubt. Hercule Poirot never doubted that [not but that] he would solve the case. can, may Can refers to ability and may to possibility or permission. Since I can ski the slalom well, I may win the race. can’t hardly Hardly has a negative meaning; therefore, can’t hardly is a double negative. This expression is commonly used in some varieties of English but is not used in academic English. Tim can [not can’t] hardly wait. can’t help but This expression is redundant. Use I can’t help going rather than I can’t help but go. censor, censure Censor means “remove that which is considered offensive.” Censure means “formally reprimand.” The newspaper censored stories that offended advertisers. The legislature censured the official for misconduct. compare to, compare with Compare to means “regard as similar.” Jamie compared the loss to a kick in the head. Compare with means “examine to find differences or similarities.” Compare Tim Burton’s films with David Lynch’s. complement, compliment Complement means “go well with.” Compliment means “praise.” Guests complimented her on how her earrings complemented her gown. comprise, compose Comprise means “contain.” Compose means “make up.” The class comprises twenty students. Twenty students compose the class. conscience, conscious Conscience means “a sense of right and wrong.” Conscious means “awake” or “aware.” Lisa was conscious of a guilty conscience. consensus of opinion Use consensus instead of this redundant phrase. The family consensus was to sell the old house. consequently, subsequently Consequently means “as a result”; subsequently means “then.” He quit, and subsequently his wife lost her job; consequently, they had to sell their house. 245 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 246 246 Language 23 Glossary of usage continual, continuous Continual means “repeated at regular or frequent intervals.” Continuous means “continuing or connected without a break.” The damage done by continuous erosion was increased by the continual storms. could of Have, not of, should follow could, would, should, or might. We could have [not of ] invited them. criteria, criterion Criterion means “standard of judgment” or “necessary qualification.” Criteria is the plural form. Image is the wrong criterion for choosing a president. data Data is the plural form of the Latin word datum, meaning “fact.” Although data is used informally as either singular or plural, in academic or professional writing, treat data as plural. These data indicate that fewer people are smoking. different from, different than Different from is generally preferred in academic and professional writing, although both phrases are widely used. Her lab results were no different from [not than] his. discreet, discrete Discreet means “tactful” or “prudent.” Discrete means “separate” or “distinct.” The leader’s discreet efforts kept all the discrete factions unified. disinterested, uninterested Disinterested means “unbiased.” Uninterested means “indifferent.” Finding disinterested jurors was difficult. She was uninterested in the verdict. distinct, distinctive Distinct means “separate” or “well defined.” Distinctive means “characteristic.” Germany includes many distinct regions, each with a distinctive accent. doesn’t, don’t Doesn’t is the contraction for does not. Use it with he, she, it, and singular nouns. Don’t stands for do not; use it with I, you, we, they, and plural nouns. due to See because of, due to. each other, one another Use each other in sentences involving two subjects and one another in sentences involving more than two. effect See affect, effect. elicit, illicit The verb elicit means “draw out.” The adjective illicit means “illegal.” The police elicited from the criminal the names of others involved in illicit activities. elude See allude, elude. emigrate from, immigrate to Emigrate from means “move away from one’s country.” Immigrate to means “move to another country.” We emigrated from Norway in 1999. We immigrated to the United States. ensure See assure, ensure, insure. enthused, enthusiastic professional writing. Use enthusiastic rather than enthused in academic and equally as good Replace this redundant phrase with equally good or as good. every day, everyday Everyday is an adjective meaning “ordinary.” Every day is an adjective and a noun, meaning “each day.” I wore everyday clothes almost every day. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 247 Glossary of usage 23 Language every one, everyone Everyone is a pronoun. Every one is an adjective and a pronoun, referring to each member of a group. Because he began after everyone else, David could not finish every one of the problems. except See accept, except. explicit, implicit Explicit means “directly or openly expressed.” Implicit means “indirectly expressed or implied.” The explicit message of the ad urged consumers to buy the product, while the implicit message promised popularity if they did so. farther, further Farther refers to physical distance. How much farther is it to Munich? Further refers to time or degree. I want to avoid further delays. fewer, less Use fewer with nouns that can be counted. Use less with general amounts that you cannot count. The world needs fewer bombs and less hostility. finalize Finalize is a pretentious way of saying “end” or “make final.” We closed [not finalized] the deal. firstly, secondly, etc. First, second, etc., are more common in U.S. English. flaunt, flout Flaunt means to “show off.” Flout means to “mock” or “scorn.” The drug dealers flouted authority by flaunting their wealth. former, latter Former refers to the first and latter to the second of two things previously mentioned. Kathy and Anna are athletes; the former plays tennis, and the latter runs. further See farther, further. good, well Good is an adjective and should not be used as a substitute for the adverb well. Gabriel is a good host who cooks well. good and Good and is colloquial for “very”; avoid it in academic and professional writing. hanged, hung Hanged refers to executions; hung is used for all other meanings. hardly See can’t hardly. herself, himself, myself, yourself Do not use these reflexive pronouns as subjects or as objects unless they are necessary. Jane and I [not myself ] agree. They invited John and me [not myself ]. he/she, his/her Better solutions for avoiding sexist language are to write out he or she, to eliminate pronouns entirely, or to make the subject plural. Instead of writing Everyone should carry his/her driver’s license, try Drivers should carry their licenses or People should carry their driver’s licenses. himself hisself See herself, himself, myself, yourself. Use himself instead in academic or professional writing. hopefully Hopefully is often misused to mean “it is hoped,” but its correct meaning is “with hope.” Sam watched the roulette wheel hopefully [not Hopefully, Sam will win]. hung See hanged, hung. illicit See elicit, illicit. illusion See allusion, illusion. immigrate to See emigrate from, immigrate to. 247 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 248 248 Language 23 Glossary of usage impact Avoid the colloquial use of impact or impact on as a verb meaning “affect.” Population control may reduce [not impact] world hunger. implicit See explicit, implicit. imply, infer To imply is to suggest indirectly. To infer is to guess or conclude on the basis of an indirect suggestion. The note implied they were planning a small wedding; we inferred we would not be invited. inside of, outside of Use inside and outside instead. The class regularly met outside [not outside of ] the building. insure See assure, ensure, insure. interact, interface Interact is a vague word meaning “do something that somehow involves another person.” Interface is computer jargon; when used as a verb, it means “discuss” or “communicate.” Avoid both verbs in academic and professional writing. irregardless, regardless Irregardless is a double negative. Use regardless. is when, is where These vague expressions are often incorrectly used in definitions. Schizophrenia is a psychotic condition in which [not is when or is where] a person withdraws from reality. its, it’s Its is the possessive form of it. It’s is a contraction for it is or it has. It’s important to observe the rat before it eats its meal. kind, sort, type These singular nouns should be modified with this or that, not these or those, and followed by other singular nouns, not plural nouns. Wear this kind of dress [not those kind of dresses]. kind of, sort of tired. Avoid these colloquialisms. Amy was somewhat [not kind of ] know, no Use know to mean “understand.” No is the opposite of yes. later, latter Later means “after some time.” Latter refers to the second of two items named. Juan and Chad won all their early matches, but the latter was injured later in the season. latter See former, latter and later, latter. lay, lie Lay means “place” or “put.” Its main forms are lay, laid, laid. It generally has a direct object, specifying what has been placed. She laid her books on the desk. Lie means “recline” or “be positioned” and does not take a direct object. Its main forms are lie, lay, lain. She lay awake until two. leave, let Leave means “go away.” Let means “allow.” Leave alone and let alone are interchangeable. Let me leave now, and leave [or let] me alone from now on! lend, loan In academic and professional writing, do not use loan as a verb; use lend instead. Please lend me your pen so that I may fill out this application for a loan. less See fewer, less. let See leave, let. liable lie See apt, liable, likely. See lay, lie. like likely See as, as if, like. See apt, liable, likely. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 249 Glossary of usage 23 Language literally Literally means “actually” or “exactly as stated.” Use it to stress the truth of a statement that might otherwise be understood as figurative. Do not use literally as an intensifier in a figurative statement. Mirna was literally at the edge of her seat may be accurate, but Mirna is so hungry that she could literally eat a horse is not. loan See lend, loan. loose, lose Lose is a verb meaning “misplace.” Loose is an adjective that means “not securely attached.” Sew on that loose button before you lose it. lots, lots of Avoid these informal expressions meaning “much” or “many” in academic or professional discourse. man, mankind Replace these terms with people, humans, humankind, men and women, or similar wording. may See can, may. may be, maybe May be is a verb phrase. Maybe is an adverb that means “perhaps.” He may be the head of the organization, but maybe someone else would handle a crisis better. media Media is the plural form of the noun medium and takes a plural verb. The media are [not is] obsessed with scandals. might of See could of. moral, morale A moral is a succinct lesson. The moral of the story is that generosity is rewarded. Morale means “spirit” or “mood.” Office morale was low. myself See herself, himself, myself, yourself. no See know, no. nor, or Use either with or and neither with nor. number off, of See amount, number. Use off without of. The spaghetti slipped off [not off of ] the plate. OK, O.K., okay All are acceptable spellings, but avoid the term in academic and professional discourse. on account of Use this substitute for because of sparingly or not at all. one another See each other, one another. or See nor, or. outside of See inside of, outside of. owing to the fact that Avoid this and other wordy expressions for because. passed, past Use passed to mean “went by” or “received a passing grade”: The marching band passed the reviewing stand. Use past to refer to a time before the present: Historians study the past. per Use the Latin per only in standard technical phrases such as miles per hour. Otherwise, find English equivalents. As mentioned in [not As per] the latest report, the country’s average food consumption each day [not per day] is only 2,000 calories. percent, percentage Use percent with a specific number; use percentage with an adjective such as large or small. Last year, 80 percent of the members were female. A large percentage of the members are women. 249 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 250 250 Language 23 Glossary of usage plenty Plenty means “enough” or “a great abundance.” They told us America was a land of plenty. Colloquially, it is used to mean “very,” a usage you should avoid in academic and professional writing. He was very [not plenty] tired. plus Plus means “in addition to.” Your salary plus mine will cover our expenses. Do not use plus to mean “besides” or “moreover.” That dress does not fit me. Besides [not Plus], it is the wrong color. precede, proceed Precede means “come before”; proceed means “go forward.” Despite the storm that preceded the ceremony, the wedding proceeded on schedule. pretty Avoid using pretty as a substitute for “rather,” “somewhat,” or “quite.” Bill was quite [not pretty] disagreeable. principal, principle When used as a noun, principal refers to a head official or an amount of money; when used as an adjective, it means “most significant.” Principle means “fundamental law or belief.” Albert went to the principal and defended himself with the principle of free speech. proceed See precede, proceed. quotation, quote Quote is a verb, and quotation is a noun. He quoted the president, and the quotation [not quote] was preserved in history books. raise, rise Raise means “lift” or “move upward.” (Referring to children, it means “bring up.”) It takes a direct object; someone raises something. The guests raised their glasses to toast. Rise means “go upward.” It does not take a direct object; something rises by itself. She saw the steam rise from the pan. rarely ever Use rarely by itself, or use hardly ever. When we were poor, we rarely went to the movies. real, really Real is an adjective, and really is an adverb. Do not substitute real for really. In academic and professional writing, do not use real or really to mean “very.” The old man walked very [not real or really] slowly. reason is because Use either the reason is that or because — not both. The reason the copier stopped is that [not is because] the paper jammed. reason why This expression is redundant. The reason [not reason why] this book is short is market demand. regardless See irregardless, regardless. respectfully, respectively Respectfully means “with respect.” Respectively means “in the order given.” Karen and David are, respectively , a juggler and an acrobat. The children treated their grandparents respectfully. rise See raise, rise. set, sit Set usually means “put” or “place” and takes a direct object. Sit refers to taking a seat and does not take an object. Set your cup on the table, and sit down. should of See could of. since Be careful not to use since ambiguously. In Since I broke my leg, I’ve stayed home, the word since might be understood to mean either “because” or “ever since.” sit See set, sit. so In academic and professional writing, avoid using so alone to mean “very.” Instead, follow so with that to show how the intensified condition leads to a result. Aaron was so tired that he fell asleep at the wheel. 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 251 Glossary of usage someplace 23 Language Use somewhere instead in academic and professional writing. some time, sometime, sometimes Some time refers to a length of time. Please leave me some time to dress. Sometime means “at some indefinite later time.” Sometime I will take you to London. Sometimes means “occasionally.” Sometimes I eat sushi. sort See kind, sort, type. sort of See kind of, sort of. stationary, stationery Stationary means “standing still”; stationery means “writing paper.” When the bus was stationary, Pat took out stationery and wrote a note. subsequently See consequently, subsequently. supposed to, used to is supposed to attend. Be careful to include the final -d in these expressions. He sure, surely Avoid using sure as an intensifier. Instead, use surely (or certainly or without a doubt). I was surely glad to see you. take See bring, take. than, then Use than in comparative statements. The cat was bigger than the dog. Use then when referring to a sequence of events. I won, and then I cried. that, which A clause beginning with that singles out the item being described. The book that is on the table is a good one specifies the book on the table as opposed to some other book. A clause beginning with which may or may not single out the item, although some writers use which clauses only to add more information about an item being described. The book, which is on the table, is a good one contains a which clause between the commas. The clause simply adds extra, nonessential information about the book; it does not specify which book. theirselves then Use themselves instead in academic and professional writing. See than, then. thorough, threw, through Thorough means “complete”: After a thorough inspection, the restaurant reopened. Threw is the past tense of throw, and through means “in one side and out the other”: He threw the ball through a window. to, too, two To generally shows direction. Too means “also.” Two is the number. We, too, are going to the meeting in two hours. Avoid using to after where. Where are you flying [not flying to]? two See to, too, two. type See kind, sort, type. uninterested See disinterested, uninterested. unique Unique means “the one and only.” Do not use it with adverbs that suggest degree, such as very or most. Adora’s paintings are unique [not very unique]. used to See supposed to, used to. very Avoid using very to intensify a weak adjective or adverb; instead, replace the adjective or adverb with a stronger, more precise, or more colorful word. Instead of very nice, for example, use kind, warm, sensitive, endearing, or friendly. 251 10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252)_10_LUN_66490_Pt05_(217-252).qxd 11/30/11 2:22 PM Page 252 252 Language way, ways ways] off. well 23 Glossary of usage When referring to distance, use way. Graduation was a long way [not See good, well. where Use where alone, not with words such as at and to. Where are you going [not going to]? which See that, which. who, whom Use who if the word is the subject of the clause and whom if the word is the object of the clause. Monica, who smokes incessantly, is my godmother. (Who is the subject of the clause; the verb is smokes.) Monica, whom I saw last winter, lives in Tucson. (Whom is the object of the verb saw.) who’s, whose Who’s is a contraction for who is or who has. Who’s on the patio? Whose is a possessive form. Whose sculpture is in the garden? Whose is on the patio? would of See could of. yet See but, yet. your, you’re Your shows possession. Bring your sleeping bag along. You’re is the contraction for you are. You’re in the wrong sleeping bag. yourself See herself, himself, myself, yourself. Sentence Style Sentence Style Look: wear your black some days, and wear your purple others. There is no other rule besides pulling it off. — ZADIE SMITH Sentence Style 24 Coordination, Subordination, and Emphasis 255 a Use coordination to relate equal ideas 256 b Use subordination to distinguish main ideas 257 c Use closing and opening positions for emphasis 260 Sentence Style 253–281 25 Consistency and Completeness a b c d e 262 Revise faulty sentence structure 263 Match up subjects and predicates 263 Use elliptical structures carefully 265 Check for missing words 265 Make comparisons complete, consistent, and clear 26 Parallelism 265 266 a Make items in a series parallel 267 b Make paired ideas parallel 268 c Include all necessary words 269 27 Shifts a b c d e f 270 Revise unnecessary shifts in tense 270 Revise unnecessary shifts in mood 271 Revise unnecessary shifts in voice 271 Revise unnecessary shifts in person and number 272 Revise shifts between direct and indirect discourse 272 Revise shifts in tone and word choice 273 28 Conciseness a b c d e 275 Eliminate unnecessary words 275 Eliminate redundant words 276 Eliminate empty words 276 Replace wordy phrases 276 Simplify sentence structure 277 29 Sentence Variety 278 a Vary sentence length 279 b Vary sentence openings 280 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 255 Coordination, Subordination, and Emphasis 24 Coordination and subordination are ways of joining ideas in sentences that show relationships between ideas and emphasize more important ideas. In speech, people tend to use and and so as all-purpose connectors. He enjoys psychology, and he has to study hard. The meaning of this sentence may be perfectly clear in speech, which provides clues with voice, facial expressions, and gestures. But in writing, the sentence could have multiple meanings, including these: Although he enjoys psychology, he has to study hard. He enjoys psychology, although he has to study hard. A coordinating conjunction such as and gives ideas equal emphasis, and a subordinating conjunction such as although emphasizes one idea more AT A GLANCE Editing for Coordination, Subordination, and Emphasis How do your ideas flow from one sentence to another? Do they connect smoothly and clearly? Are the more important ideas given more emphasis than less important ones? • Look for strings of short sentences that might be combined to join related ideas. (24a) 䊳 , but it it ; The report was short. It was persuasive. It changed my mind. ^ ^ • If you use and excessively, decide whether all the ideas are equally important. If they are not equal, edit to subordinate the less important ones. (24b) • Make sure that the most important ideas appear in independent clauses that can stand alone as complete sentences. (24b) (continued) 255 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 256 256 Sent Style 24a Coordination, subordination, and emphasis Even though the 䊳 The report was short, even though it changed my mind. ^ • Identify the word or words you want to receive special emphasis. If those words are buried in the middle of a sentence, edit the sentence to change their position. The end and the beginning are generally the most emphatic. (24c) • If a sentence includes a series of three or more words, phrases, or clauses, try to arrange the items in the series in climactic order, with the most important item last. (24c) than another. Choosing appropriate conjunctions also allows a writer to specify how the ideas are related. 24a Use coordination to relate equal ideas. When you want to give equal emphasis to different ideas in a sentence, link them with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, for, nor, or, so, yet) or a semicolon. 䊳 They acquired horses, and their ancient nomadic spirit was suddenly free of the ground. 䊳 There is perfect freedom in the mountains, but it belongs to the eagle and the elk, the badger and the bear. 䊳 No longer were they slaves to the simple necessity of survival; they were a lordly and dangerous society of fighters and thieves, hunters and priests of the sun. – N. SCOTT MOMADAY, The Way to Rainy Mountain Coordination can help make explicit the relationship between two separate ideas. forced 䊳 ; My son watches The Simpsons religiously, Forced to choose, he ^ his sister. would probably pick Homer Simpson over Connecting these two sentences with a semicolon strengthens the connection between two closely related ideas. When you connect ideas in a sentence, make sure that the relationship between the ideas is clear. but 䊳 Watching television is a common way to spend leisure time, and it makes viewers apathetic. ^ 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 257 Use subordination to distinguish main ideas 24b Sent Style The relationship between the two ideas in the original sentence is unclear: what does being a common form of leisure have to do with making viewers apathetic? Changing and to but better relates the two ideas. EXERCISE 24.1 Using coordination to signal equal importance or to create special effects, combine and revise the following twelve short sentences into several longer and more effective ones. Add or delete words as necessary. The bull-riding arena was fairly crowded. The crowd made no impression on me. I had made a decision. It was now time to prove myself. I was scared. I walked to the entry window. I laid my money on the counter. The clerk held up a Stetson hat filled with slips of paper. I reached in. I picked one. The slip held the number of the bull I was to ride. I headed toward the stock corral. 24b Use subordination to distinguish main ideas. Subordination allows you to distinguish major points from minor points or to bring in supporting details. If, for instance, you put your main idea in an independent clause — words that could stand alone as a sentence (30m) — you might then put any less significant ideas in dependent clauses, phrases, or even single words. The following sentence shows the subordinated point in italics: 䊳 Mrs. Viola Cullinan was a plump woman who lived in a three-bedroom house somewhere behind the post office. – MAYA ANGELOU, “My Name Is Margaret” The dependent clause adds important information about Mrs. Cullinan, but it is subordinate to the independent clause. Notice that the choice of what to subordinate rests with the writer and depends on the intended meaning. Angelou might have given the same basic information differently. 䊳 Mrs. Viola Cullinan, a plump woman, lived in a three-bedroom house somewhere behind the post office. Subordinating the information about Mrs. Cullinan’s size to that about her house would suggest a slightly different meaning, of course. When you write, think carefully about what you want to emphasize and subordinate information accordingly. Subordination also establishes logical relationships among ideas. These relationships are often specified by relative pronouns — such as which, who, and that — and by subordinating conjunctions. 257 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 258 258 Sent Style 24b Coordination, subordination, and emphasis COMMON SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS after although as as if because before even though if in order that once since so that than though unless until when where while The following sentence shows the subordinate clause in italics and the subordinating word underlined: 䊳 She usually rested her smile until late afternoon when her women friends dropped in and Miss Glory, the cook, served them cold drinks on the closed-in porch. – MAYA ANGELOU, “My Name Is Margaret” Using too many coordinate structures can be monotonous and can make it hard for readers to recognize the most important ideas. Subordinating lesser ideas can help highlight the main ideas. 䊳 Many people come home tired in the evening, so they turn on the TV to Though they relax. They may intend to watch just the news, but then a game show ^ which Eventually, . comes on next, and they decide to watch it for just a short while, and ^ ^ they get too comfortable to get up, and they end up spending the whole evening in front of the TV. Determining what to subordinate Although our 䊳 Our new boss can be difficult, although she has revived and maybe ^ even saved the division. The editing puts the more important information — that she has saved part of the company — in an independent clause and subordinates the rest. Avoiding excessive subordination When too many subordinate clauses are strung together, readers may have trouble keeping track of the main idea. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 259 Use subordination to distinguish main ideas 24b Sent Style TOO MUCH SUBORDINATION 䊳 Philip II sent the Spanish Armada to conquer England, which was ruled by Elizabeth, who had executed Mary because she was plotting to overthrow Elizabeth, who was a Protestant, whereas Mary and Philip were Roman Catholics. REVISED 䊳 Philip II sent the Spanish Armada to conquer England, which was ruled by Elizabeth, a Protestant. She had executed Mary, a Roman Catholic like Philip, because Mary was plotting to overthrow her. Putting the facts about Elizabeth executing Mary into an independent clause makes key information easier to recognize. TALKING ABOUT STYLE Subordination Carefully used subordination can create powerful effects. Some particularly fine examples come from Martin Luther King Jr. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt the stinging darts of segregation to say, “Wait.” But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen curse, kick, and even kill your black brothers and sisters; . . . when you have to concoct an answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: “Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?”; when you take a cross-country drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; . . . when your first name becomes “nigger,” your middle name becomes “boy” (however old you are) and your last name becomes “John,” and your wife and mother are never given the respected title “Mrs.”; . . . when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of “nobodiness” — then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. – MARTIN LUTHER KING JR., “Letter From Birmingham Jail” EXERCISE 24.2 Combine each of the following sets of sentences into one sentence that uses subordination to signal the relationships among ideas. Example: I was looking through the refrigerator. I noticed the Swiss cheese was missing. This snack is a favorite of my roommate. 259 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 260 260 Sent Style 24c Coordination, subordination, and emphasis While I was looking through the refrigerator, I noticed that the Swiss cheese, one of my roommate’s favorite snacks, was missing. 1. The Hindenburg was gigantic. It was an airship. It was destroyed in an explosion. 2. Athena was the goddess of wisdom. Ancient Greeks relied on Athena to protect the city of Athens. Athens was named in Athena’s honor. 3. Stephen King was arrested in 1970. He had stolen traffic cones. His fine was one hundred dollars. 4. Flappers seemed rebellious to their parents’ generation. They broke with 1920s social conventions. They cut their hair short and smoked in public. 5. Skateboarding originated in Venice, California. The time was the mid-seventies. There was a drought. The swimming pools were empty. bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Coordination and Subordination. D 24c Use closing and opening positions for emphasis. When you read a sentence, the part you are most likely to remem ber is the ending. This part of the sentence should move the writing forward by providing new information, as it does in the following example: 䊳 To protect her skin, she took along plenty of sunblock lotion. 䊳 We hear language through a powerful filter of social values and stereotypes. A less emphatic but still important position in a sentence is the opening, which often associates the new sentence with the meaning of what has come before. 䊳 When Rosita went to the beach, she was anxious not to get a sunburn. So plenty of sunblock lotion went with her. If you place relatively unimportant information in the memorable closing position of a sentence, you may undercut what you want to 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 261 Use closing and opening positions for emphasis 24c Sent Style emphasize or give more emphasis to the closing words than you intend. Last month, she $500,000. 䊳 She gave $500,000 to the school capital campaign last month. ^ ^ Moving $500,000 to the end of the sentence emphasizes the amount. Using climactic order to emphasize important ideas When you arrange ideas in order of increasing importance, power, or drama, your writing builds to a climax. By saving its most dramatic item for last, the following sentence makes its point forcefully and memorably: 䊳 After they’ve finished with the pantry, the medicine cabinet, and the attic, [neat people] will throw out the red geranium (too many leaves), sell the dog (too many fleas), and send the children off to boarding school (too many scuffmarks on the hardwood floors). – SUSANNE BRITT, “Neat People vs. Sloppy People” The original version of the next sentence fails to achieve strong emphasis because its verbs are not sequenced in order of increasing power; the editing provides climactic order. offend our ears, and 䊳 . Soap operas assault our eyes, damage our brains, and offend our ears. ^ ^ ^ TALKING ABOUT STYLE Anticlimax and Humor Sometimes it’s fun to turn the principle of climactic order upside down, opening with grand or exaggerated language only to end anticlimactically, with everyday words. He is a writer for the ages — the ages of four to eight. – DOROTHY PARKER Parker builds up high expectations at the beginning of the sentence — only to undercut them unexpectedly by shifting the meaning of ages. Having led readers to expect something dramatic, she makes us laugh, or at least smile, with words that are decidedly undramatic. EXERCISE 24.3 Revise each of the following sentences to highlight what you take to be the main or most important ideas. Example: hybrids of cold-bloode d capabilities, Theories about dinosaurs have run the gamut — simple lizards, fully adapted warm-blooded creatures,/ . hybrids of cold-blooded capabilities.^ ^ 261 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 262 262 Sent Style 25 Consistency and completeness 1. The president persuaded the American people, his staff, and Congress. 2. We can expect a decade of record-breaking tropical storms and hurricanes, if meteorologists are correct in their predictions. 3. From the sightseeing boat, we saw a whale dive toward us and then, before crashing its tail on the waves, lift itself out of the water. 4. The presence of the Indian in these movies always conjures up destructive stereotypes of scalping, horse theft, and drunkenness. 5. Victorian women were warned that if they smoked, they would become sterile, grow a mustache, die young, or contract tuberculosis. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Emphasis. EXERCISE 24.4: THINKING CRITICALLY Reading with an Eye for Sentence Style Look for strong, emphatic sentences in a piece by one of your favorite writers. Bring in one or two sentences to compare with those chosen by your classmates. Thinking about Your Own Sentences Find two or three paragraphs you have written recently, and study them with an eye for coordination, subordination, and emphasis. Do your sentences help readers identify the most important ideas in your writing? Revise any sentences that do not use coordination and subordination effectively. 25 Consistency and Completeness In conversation, you will hear inconsistent and incomplete structures all the time. For instance, during an interview with journalist Bill Moyers, Jon Stewart discussed the supposed objectivity of news reporting. But news has never been objective. It’s always . . . what does every newscast start with? “Our top stories tonight.” That’s a list. That’s a subjective . . . some editor made a decision: “Here’s our top stories. Number one: There’s a fire in the Bronx.” Because Stewart is talking casually, some of his sentences begin one way but then move in another direction. The mixed structures pose no problem for the viewer — they sound like conversations we hear every day — but sentences such as these can be confusing in writing. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 263 Match up subjects and predicates 25a 25b Sent Style Revise faulty sentence structure. One inconsistency that poses problems for writers and readers is a mixed structure, which results from beginning a sentence with one grammatical pattern and then switching to another one. MIXED The fact that I get up at 5:00 AM, a wake-up time that explains why I’m always tired in the evening. The sentence starts out with a subject (The fact) followed by a dependent clause (that I get up at 5:00 AM). The sentence needs a predicate to complete the independent clause, but instead it moves to another phrase followed by a dependent clause (a wake-up time that explains why I’m always tired in the evening), and what results is a fragment. REVISED The fact that I get up at 5:00 AM explains why I’m always tired in the evening. Deleting a wake-up time that changes the rest of the sentence into a predicate. REVISED I get up at 5:00 AM, a wake-up time that explains why I’m always tired in the evening. Deleting The fact that turns the beginning of the sentence into an independent clause. (For information about subjects and predicates, see 30j and k; for information about independent and dependent clauses, see 30m.) 25b Match up subjects and predicates. Another kind of mixed structure, called faulty predication, occurs when a subject and predicate do not fit together grammatically or simply do not make sense together. Many cases of faulty predication result from using forms of be when another verb would be stronger. generosity. 䊳 A characteristic that I admire is a person who is generous. A person is not a characteristic. ^ require 䊳 The rules of the corporation expect employees to be on time. ^ Rules cannot expect anything. 263 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:26 PM Page 264 264 Sent Style 25b Consistency and completeness AT A GLANCE Editing for Consistency and Completeness • If you find an especially confusing sentence, check to see whether it has a subject and a predicate. If not, revise as necessary. (25a) If you find both a subject and a predicate, and you are still confused, see whether the subject and verb make sense together. (25b) • Revise any is when, is where, and reason . . . is because constructions. (25b) the practice of sending 䊳 Spamming is where companies send electronic junk mail. ^ • Check all comparisons for completeness. (25e) we like 䊳 We like Lisa better than Margaret. ^ Is when, is where, and reason . . . is because Although you will often hear expressions such as home is where the heart is in everyday use, these constructions are inappropriate in academic or professional writing. an unfair characterization of 䊳 . A stereotype is when someone characterizes a group unfairly. ^ ^ a place 䊳 A confluence is where two rivers join to form one. 䊳 The reason I like to play soccer is because it provides aerobic exercise. ^ EXERCISE 25.1 Revise each of the following sentences in two ways to make its structures consistent in grammar and meaning. Example: Because The fact that our room was cold, we put a heater between our beds. ^ led us to The fact that our room was cold,/ we put a heater between our beds. ^ 1. To enjoy my job, my dream in life, which has kept me in school and working hard. 2. The reason air-pollution standards should not be relaxed is because many people would suffer. 3. By not prosecuting white-collar crime as vigorously as violent crime encourages white-collar criminals to think they can ignore the law. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 265 Make comparisons complete, consistent, and clear 25e Sent Style 4. Irony is when you expect one thing and get something else. 5. The best meal I’ve ever eaten was sitting by a river eating bread and cheese from a farmers’ market. 25c Use elliptical structures carefully. Sometimes writers omit a word in a compound structure. This type of structure, known as an elliptical structure, is appropriate when the word omitted later in the compound is exactly the same as the word earlier in the compound. 䊳 That bell belonged to the figure of Miss Duling as though it grew directly out of her right arm, as wings grew out of an angel or a tail [grew] out of the devil. – EUDORA WELTY, One Writer’s Beginnings If the omitted word does not match a word in the other part of the compound, readers might be confused, so the omission is inappropriate. is 䊳 His skills are weak, and his performance only average. ^ The verb is does not match the verb in the other part of the compound (are), so the writer needs to include it. 25d Check for missing words. The best way to catch inadvertent omissions is to proofread carefully. at 䊳 The new Web site makes it easier to look and choose from the company’s inventory. 25e ^ Make comparisons complete, consistent, and clear. When you compare two or more things, the comparison must be complete, logically consistent, and clear. from my friends’ parents. 䊳 I was embarrassed because my parents were so different. ^ Different from what? Adding from my friends’ parents tells readers with what the comparison is being made. 265 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 266 266 Sent Style 26 Parallelism the one by 䊳 Woodberry’s biography is better than Fields. ^ This sentence illogically compares a book with a person. The editing makes the comparison logical. Aneil always felt more affection for his brother than his sister. Aneil always felt more affection for his brother than his sister did. Aneil always felt more affection for his brother than he did for his sister. UNCLEAR CLEAR CLEAR EXERCISE 25.2 Revise each of the following sentences to eliminate any inappropriate elliptical constructions; to make comparisons complete, logically consistent, and clear; and to supply any other omitted words that are necessary for meaning. Example: is Most of the candidates are bright, and one brilliant. ^ 1. Convection ovens cook more quickly and with less power. 2. Argentina and Peru were colonized by Spain, and Brazil by Portugal. 3. She argued that children are even more important for men than women. 4. Were the traffic jams in Texas any worse than many other states? 5. The equipment in our new warehouse is guaranteed to last longer than our current facility. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Consistency and Completeness. EXERCISE 25.3: THINKING CRITICALLY Read over three or four paragraphs from a draft or completed essay you have written recently. Check for mixed sentences and incomplete or missing structures. Revise the paragraphs to correct any problems you find. If you find any, do you recognize any patterns? If so, make a note of them for future reference. 26 Parallelism Parallel grammatical structures show up in many familiar phrases: sink or swim, rise and shine, shape up or ship out. If you look and listen for these structures, you will see parallelism in everyday use. Bumper stickers often use parallel grammatical 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 267 Make items in a series parallel 26a Sent Style structures to make their messages memorable (Minds are like parachutes; both work best when open), but the pleasing effects of parallel structures can benefit any kind of writing. AT A GLANCE Editing for Parallelism • Look for any series of three or more items, and make all of the items parallel in structure. (26a) • Be sure items in lists and in related headings are parallel. (26a) • Check for places where two ideas are paired in the same sentence. Often these ideas will appear on either side of and, but, or, nor, for, so, or yet, or after each part of both . . . and, either . . . or, neither . . . nor, not only . . . but also, whether . . . or, or just as . . . so. Edit to make the two ideas parallel in structure. (26b) • Check parallel structures to be sure that you have included all necessary words — prepositions, the to of the infinitive, and so on. (26c) 26a Make items in a series parallel. Parallelism makes a series both graceful and easy to follow. 䊳 In the eighteenth century, armed forces could fight in open fields and on the high seas. Today, they can clash on the ground anywhere, on the sea, under the sea, and in the air. – DONALD SNOW AND EUGENE BROWN, The Contours of Power The parallel phrases, as well as the parallel structure of the sentences themselves, highlight the contrast between warfare in the eighteenth century and warfare today. In the following sentences, note how the revisions make all items in the series parallel: sashayed. 䊳 The quarter horse skipped, pranced, and was sashaying. ^ 䊳 swimming pool. 䊳 jumped The children ran down the hill, skipped over the lawn, and into the ^ The duties of the job include babysitting, housecleaning, and preparing preparation of meals. ^ Items in a list, on a formal outline (p. 69), and in headings in a paper (p. 33) should be parallel. 267 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 268 268 Sent Style 䊳 26b Parallelism Kitchen rules: (1) Coffee to be made only by library staff. (2) Coffee service to be closed at 4:00 PM. (3) Doughnuts to be kept in cabinet. Coffee materials not to be handled by faculty. (4) No faculty members should handle coffee materials. ^ 26b Make paired ideas parallel. Parallel structures can help you pair two ideas effectively. The more nearly parallel the two structures are, the stronger the connection between the ideas will be. 䊳 History became popular, and historians became alarmed. – WILL DURANT 䊳 I type in one place, but I write all over the house. – TONI MORRISON the flesh. 䊳 Writers are often more interesting on the page than they are in person. ^ In these examples, the parallel structures help readers see an important contrast between two ideas or acts. With coordinating conjunctions When you link ideas with a coordinating conjunction — and, but, or, nor, for, so, or yet — try to make the ideas parallel in structure. who is 䊳 Consult a friend in your class or who is good at math. 䊳 The wise politician promises the possible and should accept the ^ inevitable. accepts ^ In both sentences, the editing links the two ideas by making them parallel. With correlative conjunctions Use the same structure after both parts of a correlative conjunction: either . . . or, both . . . and, neither . . . nor, not . . . but, not only . . . but also, just as . . . so, and whether . . . or. live in 䊳 I wanted not only to go away to school but also to New England. ^ Balancing to go with to live links the two ideas and makes the sentence easier to read. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 269 Include all necessary words 26c Sent Style EXERCISE 26.1 Complete the following sentences, using parallel words or phrases in each case. Example: The wise politician promises the possible, faces the unavoidable, and accepts the inevitable. 1. Before buying a used car, you should 2. My favorite pastimes include , , , and , and 3. Working in a restaurant taught me not only 4. We must either or . . but also . . 5. Graduates find that the job market , , and . EXERCISE 26.2 Revise the following sentences as necessary to eliminate any errors in parallel structure. Example: texting I enjoy skiing, playing the guitar, and I send text to my friends. ^ 1. I remember watching it the first time, realizing I’d never seen anything like it, and immediately vowed never to miss an episode of The Daily Show. 2. A crowd stood outside the school and were watching as the graduates paraded by. 3. An effective Web site is well designed, provides useful information, and links are given to other relevant sites. 4. It is impossible to watch The Simpsons and not seeing a little of yourself in one of the characters. 5. TV networks now face the question of either coming up with new situations, or they’ll have to acknowledge the death of the sitcom. 26c Include all necessary words. In addition to making parallel elements grammatically similar, be sure to include any words — prepositions, articles, verb forms, and so on — that are necessary for clarity, grammar, or idiom. in 䊳 We’ll move to a town in the Southwest or Mexico. ^ To a town in Mexico or to Mexico in general? The editing makes the meaning clear. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Parallelism. 269 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 270 270 Sent Style 27a Shifts EXERCISE 26.3: THINKING CRITICALLY Reading with an Eye for Parallelism Read the following paragraph about a bareback rider practicing her circus act, and identify all the parallel structures. Consider what effect they create on you as a reader, and try to decide why the author chose to put his ideas in such overtly parallel form. Try imitating the next-to-last sentence, the one beginning In a week or two. The richness of the scene was in its plainness, its natural condition — of horse, of ring, of girl, even to the girl’s bare feet that gripped the bare back of her proud and ridiculous mount. The enchantment grew not out of anything that happened or was performed but out of something that seemed to go round and around and around with the girl, attending her, a steady gleam in the shape of a circle — a ring of ambition, of happiness, of youth. (And the positive pleasures of equilibrium under difficulties.) In a week or two, all would be changed, all (or almost all) lost: the girl would wear makeup, the horse would wear gold, the ring would be painted, the bark would be clean for the feet of the horse, the girl’s feet would be clean for the slippers that she’d wear. All, all would be lost. — E. B. WHITE, “The Ring of Time” Thinking about Your Own Use of Parallelism Read carefully several paragraphs from a draft you have recently written, noting any series of words, phrases, or clauses. Using the guidelines in this chapter, determine whether the series are parallel, and if not, revise them for parallelism. Then reread the paragraphs, looking for places where parallel structures would add emphasis or clarity, and revise accordingly. Can you draw any conclusions about your use of parallelism? 27 Shifts A shift in writing is an abrupt change that results in inconsistency. Sometimes a writer will shift deliberately, as Dave Barry does in noting he “would have to say that the greatest single achievement of the American medical establishment is nasal spray.” Barry’s shift in tone from the serious (the American medical establishment) to the banal (nasal spray) makes us laugh. Although writers sometimes make shifts for good reasons, unintentional shifts in verb tenses, pronouns, and tone can be jolting and confusing to readers. 27a Revise unnecessary shifts in tense. If the verbs in a passage refer to actions occurring at different times, they may require different tenses. Be careful, however, not to change tenses for no reason. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 271 Revise unnecessary shifts in voice 䊳 27c Sent Style A few countries produce almost all of the world’s illegal drugs, but affects addiction affected many countries. ^ 27b Revise unnecessary shifts in mood. Be careful not to shift from one mood to another without good reason. The mood of a verb can be indicative (he closes the door), imperative (close the door), or subjunctive (if the door were closed) (31h). 䊳 Keep your eye on the ball, and you should bend your knees. The sentence shifts from the imperative to the indicative; the editing makes both verbs imperative since the writer’s purpose is to give orders. 27c Revise unnecessary shifts in voice. Do not shift without reason between the active voice (she sold it) and the passive voice (it was sold). Sometimes a shift in voice is justified, but often it only confuses readers (31g). me 䊳 Two youths approached me, and I was asked for my wallet. ^ AT A GLANCE Confusing Shifts • Make sure you have a reason for shifting from one verb tense to another. (27a) • Revise any shifts in mood — perhaps from an indicative statement to an imperative — that are not necessary. (27b) • Check for shifts from active (She asks questions) to passive voice (Questions are asked). Are they intentional? (27c) • Make sure you have good reasons for any shifts in person or number — from we to you, for example. (27d) • Check your writing for consistency in tone and word choice. (27f) The original sentence shifts from the active (youths approached) to the passive (I was asked), so it is unclear who asked for the wallet. Making both verbs active clears up the confusion. 271 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 272 272 Sent Style 27d 27e Shifts Revise unnecessary shifts in person and number. Unnecessary shifts between first-person point of view (I, we), secondperson (you), and third-person (he, she, it, one, or they), or between singular and plural subjects can be very confusing to readers. You 䊳 One can do well on this job if you budget your time. ^ It was not clear whether the writer was making a general statement or giving advice to someone. Eliminating the shift eliminates this confusion. nurses have 䊳 Nurses receive much less pay than doctors, even though a nurse has the primary responsibility for daily patient care. ^ The writer had no reason to shift from third-person plural (nurses) to thirdperson singular (a nurse). 27e Revise shifts between direct and indirect discourse. When you quote someone’s exact words, you are using direct discourse: She said, “I’m an editor.” When you report what someone says without repeating the exact words, you are using indirect discourse: She says she is an editor. Shifting between direct and indirect discourse in the same sentence can cause problems, especially with questions. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Shifting Tenses in Reported Speech If Al said to Maria, “I will marry you,” why did she then correctly tell her mom, “He said that he would marry me”? For guidelines on reporting speech, see 58b. he 䊳 Viet asked what could he do to help? ^ . ^ The editing eliminates an awkward shift by reporting Viet’s question indirectly. It could also be edited to quote Viet directly: Viet asked, “What can I do to help?” 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 273 Revise shifts in tone and word choice 27f Sent Style EXERCISE 27.1 Revise the following sentences to eliminate unnecessary shifts in tense, mood, voice, or person and number and between direct and indirect discourse. Most of the items can be revised in more than one way. Examples: When a person goes to college, you face many new situations. When a person goes to college, he or she faces many new situations. When people go to college, they face many new situations. 1. The greed of the 1980s gave way to the occupational insecurity of the 1990s, which in turn gives way to reinforced family ties in the early 2000s. 2. The building inspector suggested that we apply for a construction permit and that we should check with his office again when the plans are complete. 3. She studied the package, wondered what could it be, and tore off the wrapping. 4. Suddenly, we heard an explosion of wings off to our right, and you could see a hundred or more ducks lifting off from the water. 5. In my previous job, I sold the most advertising spots and was given a sales excellence award. 6. A cloud of snow powder rose as skis and poles fly in every direction. 7. The flight attendant said, “Please turn off all electronic devices,” but that we could use them again after takeoff. 8. Workers with computer skills were in great demand, and a programmer could almost name their salary. 9. When in Florence, be sure to see the city’s famed cathedral, and many tourists also visit Michelangelo’s statue David. 10. The aroma, which wafts through the house, lured the adults from their beds. 27f Revise shifts in tone and word choice. Tone, a writer’s attitude toward a topic or audience, is related to word choice, and to overall formality or informality. Watch out for tone or diction shifts that can confuse readers and leave them wondering what your real attitude is (5f). INCONSISTENT TONE The question of child care forces a society to make profound decisions about its economic values. Can most families with young children actually live adequately on only one salary? If some conservatives had their way, June Cleaver would still be stuck in the kitchen baking cookies for Wally and the Beaver and waiting for Ward to bring home the bacon, except that, with only one income, the Cleavers would be lucky to afford hot dogs. In this version, the first two sentences set a serious, formal tone by discussing child care in fairly general, abstract terms. But in the third 273 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 274 274 Sent Style 27f Shifts sentence, the writer shifts suddenly to sarcasm, to references to television characters of an earlier era, and to informal language like stuck and bring home the bacon. Readers cannot tell whether the writer is presenting a serious analysis or preparing for a humorous satire. The revision makes the tone consistently formal. REVISED The question of child care forces a society to make profound decisions about its economic values. Can most families with young children actually live adequately on only one salary? Some conservatives believe that women with young children should not work outside the home, but many mothers are forced to do so for financial reasons. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Shifts. EXERCISE 27.2: THINKING CRITICALLY Reading with an Eye for Shifts The following paragraph includes several necessary shifts in person and number. Read the paragraph carefully, marking all such shifts. Notice how careful the author must be as he shifts back and forth among pronouns. It has been one of the great errors of our time to think that by thinking about thinking, and then talking about it, we could possibly straighten out and tidy up our minds. There is no delusion more damaging than to get the idea in your head that you understand the functioning of your own brain. Once you acquire such a notion, you run the danger of moving in to take charge, guiding your thoughts, shepherding your mind from place to place, controlling it, making lists of regulations. The human mind is not meant to be governed, certainly not by any book of rules yet written; it is supposed to run itself, and we are obliged to follow it along, trying to keep up with it as best we can. It is all very well to be aware of your awareness, even proud of it, but never try to operate it. You are not up to — LEWIS THOMAS, “The Attic of the Brain” the job. Thinking about Any Shifts in Your Own Writing Find an article about a well-known person you admire. Then write a paragraph or two about him or her, making a point of using both direct and indirect discourse. Check your writing for any inappropriate shifts between direct and indirect discourse, and revise as necessary. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 275 Conciseness 28 You can see the importance of conciseness in directions, particularly those on medicines. Take one tablet daily. Some nonprescription drugs may aggravate your condition, so read all labels carefully. If any include a warning, check with your doctor. Squeezing words onto a three-inch label is probably not your ordinary writing situation, but you will want to write as concisely as you can. AT A GLANCE Editing for Conciseness • Look for redundant words. If you are unsure about a word, read the sentence without it; if meaning is not affected, leave the word out. (28a and b) • Take out empty words — words like aspect or factor, definitely or very. (28c) • Replace wordy phrases with a single word. Instead of because of the fact that, try because. (28d) • Reconsider any sentences that begin with it is or there is/are. Unless they create special emphasis, try recasting the sentences without these words. (28e) 28a Eliminate unnecessary words. Usually you’ll want to make your point in the fewest possible words. 䊳 One thing that her constant and continual use of vulgar expressions or four-letter words indicated to the day-care workers was that she might really have a great deal of trouble in terms of her ability to get along in a successful manner with other four-year-olds in her age group. Why write that sentence when you could instead write the following? 䊳 Her constant use of four-letter words told the day-care workers she might have trouble getting along with other four-year-olds. 275 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 276 276 Sent Style 28b 28d Conciseness Eliminate redundant words. Sometimes writers say that something is large in size or red in color or that two ingredients should be combined together. Such words are redundant, or unnecessary for meaning, as are the deleted words in these examples: Attendance 䊳 Compulsory attendance at assemblies is required. 䊳 Many different forms of hazing occur, such as physical abuse and ^ mental abuse. 28c Eliminate empty words. Empty words are so general or overused that they contribute no real meaning to a sentence. EMPTY WORDS angle, area, aspect, case, character, element, factor, field, kind, nature, scope, situation, thing, type Many modifiers are so common that they have become empty words. MEANINGLESS MODIFIERS absolutely, awesome, awfully, central, definitely, fine, great, literally, major, quite, really, very When you cannot simply delete empty words, think of a more specific way to say what you mean. Housing strongly influence 䊳 The housing situation can have a really significant impact on the ^ ^ social social aspect of a student’s life. ^ 28d Replace wordy phrases. Wordy phrases can be reduced to a word or two with no loss in meaning. WORDY CONCISE at all times at the present time always now/today 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 277 Simplify sentence structure at that point in time due to the fact that for the purpose of in order to in spite of the fact that in the event that 28e Sent Style then because for to although if EXERCISE 28.1 Revise the following paragraph to eliminate weak verbs, unnecessary nominalizations and expletives, and inappropriate use of the passive voice. As dogs became domesticated by humans over many thousands of years, the canine species evolved into hundreds of breeds designed to perform specific tasks such as pulling sleds and guarding sheep. Over time, the need for many breeds decreased. For example, as humans evolved from hunter-gatherers into farmers, it was no longer necessary for them to own hunting dogs. Later, as farming societies became industrialized, shepherds were rarely needed. But by this time humans had grown accustomed to dogs’ companionship, and breeding continued. Today, most dogs are kept by their owners simply as companions, but some dogs still do the work they were intentionally bred for, such as following a scent, guarding a home, or leading the blind. 28e Simplify sentence structure. Using the simplest grammatical structures possible can tighten and strengthen your sentences considerably. 䊳 Hurricane Katrina, which was certainly one of the most powerful storms widespread . ever to hit the Gulf Coast, caused damage to a very wide area. ^ ^ Reducing a clause to an appositive, deleting unnecessary words, and replacing five words with one tighten the sentence and make it easier to read. Using strong verbs Be verbs (is, are, was, were, been) often result in wordiness. harms 䊳 A high-fat, high-cholesterol diet is bad for your heart. ^ 277 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 278 278 Sent Style 29 Sentence variety Avoiding there is, there are, and it is Sometimes expletive constructions — there is, there are, and it is — are an effective way to introduce a topic; often, however, your writing will be better without them. Many 䊳 There are many people who fear success because they believe they do not deserve it. Presidential 䊳 need It is necessary for presidential candidates to perform well on television. ^ ^ Using active voice Some writing situations call for the passive voice (31g), but it is always wordier than the active — and often makes for dull or even difficult reading. Gower 䊳 In Gower’s research, it was found that pythons often dwell in trees. ^ D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Conciseness. EXERCISE 28.2: THINKING CRITICALLY Find two or three paragraphs you have written recently, and study them with an eye for empty words. Eliminate meaningless words such as aspect, factor, quite, and very. Compare notes with one or two classmates to see what empty words, if any, you all tend to use. Finally, make a note of empty words you use, and try to avoid them in the future. 29 Sentence Variety Row upon row of trees identical in size and shape may appeal to our sense of orderliness, but in spite of that appeal, the rows soon become boring. Constant uniformity in anything, in fact, soon gets tiresome. Variety is important in sentence structures because too much uniformity results in dull, listless prose. This chapter examines ways to revise sentences by creating variety in length and in openings. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 279 Vary sentence length 29a Sent Style AT A GLANCE Editing for Sentence Variety • Count the words in each of your sentences. If the difference between the longest and shortest sentences is fairly small — say, five words or fewer — try revising your sentences to create greater variety. (29a) • If many sentences have fewer than ten words, consider whether any of them need more detail or should be combined with other sentences. • How do your sentences open? If all or most of them open with a subject, try recasting some sentences to begin with a transition, a phrase, or a dependent clause. (29b) 29a Vary sentence length. Is there a “just right” length for a particular sentence or idea? The answer depends partly on your purpose, intended audience, and topic. But note that after one or more long sentences with complex ideas or images, the punch of a short sentence can be refreshing. TALKING ABOUT STYLE Technical Writing For some types of writing, varying sentence structure and length is not always appropriate. Many technical writers, particularly those who write manuals that will be translated into other languages, must follow stringent rules for sentence structure and length. One computer company, for example, requires writers to adhere to a strict subjectverb-object order and limit all sentences to no more than fifteen words. Learn the style conventions of your field as fully as possible, and bring them to bear on your own sentence revisions. 䊳 To become a doctor, you spend so much time in the tunnels of preparation—head down, trying not to screw up, just going from one day to the next—that it is a shock to find yourself at the other end, with someone offering you a job. But the day comes. – ATUL GAWANDE, Better EXERCISE 29.1 The following paragraph can be improved by varying sentence length. Read it aloud to get a sense of how it sounds. Then revise it, creating some short, emphatic sentences 279 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 280 280 Sent Style 29b Sentence variety and combining other sentences to create more effective long sentences. Add words or change punctuation as you need to. Before planting a tree, a gardener needs to choose a good location and dig a deep enough hole. The location should have the right kind of soil, sufficient drainage, and enough light for the type of tree chosen. The hole should be slightly deeper than the root-ball and about twice as wide. The gardener must unwrap the root-ball, for even burlap, which is biodegradable, may be treated with chemicals that will eventually damage the roots. The roots may have grown into a compact ball if the tree has been in a pot for some time, and they should be separated or cut apart in this case. The gardener should set the root-ball into the hole and then begin to fill the hole with loose dirt. After filling the hole completely, he or she should make sure to water the tree thoroughly. New plantings require extra water and extra care for about three years before they are well rooted. 29b Vary sentence openings. If sentence after sentence begins with a subject, a passage may become monotonous or hard to read. 䊳 The way football and basketball are played is as interesting as the Because football , each players. Football is a game of precision. Each play is diagrammed to ^ ^ however, , accomplish a certain goal. Basketball is a game of endurance. In fact, a ^ A basketball game looks like a track meet; the team that drops of ^ exhaustion first, loses. Basketball players are often compared to artists. their ; ^ The players’ moves and slam dunks are their masterpieces. ^ The editing adds variety by using a subordinating word (Because) and a prepositional phrase (In fact) and by linking sentences. Varying sentence openings prevents the passage from seeming to jerk or lurch along. You can add variety to your sentence openings by using transitions, various kinds of phrases, and dependent clauses. TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS 䊳 In contrast, our approach will save time and money. 䊳 Nevertheless, the show must go on. 12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282)_12_LUN_66590_Pt06_(255-282).qxd 11/30/11 2:27 PM Page 281 Vary sentence openings 29b Sent Style PHRASES 䊳 Before dawn, tired commuters drink their first cups of coffee. 䊳 Frustrated by the delays, the drivers started honking their horns. 䊳 To qualify for flight training, one must be in good physical condition. 䊳 Our hopes for victory dashed, we started home. DEPENDENT CLAUSES 䊳 What they want is a place to call home. 䊳 Because the hills were dry, the fire spread rapidly. D bedfordstmartins.com/everydaywriter For exercises, go to Exercise Central and click on Sentence Variety. EXERCISE 29.2: THINKING CRITICALLY Reading with an Eye for Sentence Variety Read something by an author you admire. Analyze two paragraphs for sentence length, opening, and type. Compare the sentence variety in these paragraphs with that in one of your paragraphs. What similarities or differences do you recognize, and what conclusions can you draw about sentence variety? Thinking about Your Own Sentence Variety Choose a piece of writing you have recently completed, and analyze two or three pages for sentence variety. Note sentence length, opening, and type (grammatical, functional, and rhetorical). Choose a passage you think can be improved for variety, and make those revisions. 281 00_LUN_66490_FM_(i-xx)_00_LUN_66490_FM_i-xx.qxd 11/30/11 1:54 PM Page ii this page left intentionally blank Most of us don’t know a gerund from a gerbil and don’t care, but we’d like to speak and write as though we did. — PATRICIA T. O’CONNER Sentence Grammar Sentence Grammar Sentence Grammar 30 Basic Grammar 286 a The basic grammar of sentences 286 PARTS OF SPEECH b Verbs 288 c Nouns 288 d Pronouns 289 e Adjectives 291 f Adverbs 292 g Prepositions 293 h Conjunctions 294 i Interjections 296 PARTS OF SENTENCES j Subjects 297 k Predicates 298 l Phrases 301 m Clauses 303 TYPES OF SENTENCES n Grammatical classifications 305 o Functional classifications 306 Sentence Grammar 283–365 31 Verbs a b c d e f g h 307 The five forms of verbs 308 Auxiliary verbs 309 Regular and irregular verb forms 310 Lie and lay, sit and set, rise and raise 314 Verb tenses 315 Sequence of verb tenses 318 Active voice and passive voice 320 Mood 321 32 Subject-Verb Agreement a b c d e f g h i j 323 Third-person singular subjects 323 Subjects and verbs separated by other words 324 Compound subjects 325 Collective-noun subjects 326 Indefinite-pronoun subjects 327 Antecedents of who, which, and that 328 Linking verbs 328 Subjects that are plural in form but singular in meaning Subjects that follow verbs 329 Titles and words used as words 329 328 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 285 33 Pronouns a b c d e f g 330 Pronoun case 331 Who, whoever, whom, and whomever 333 Case in compound structures 335 Case in elliptical constructions 336 We and us before a noun 336 Pronoun-antecedent agreement 337 Clear pronoun reference 339 34 Adjectives and Adverbs 343 a Adjectives after linking verbs 343 b Adverbs to modify verbs, adjectives, and adverbs c Comparatives and superlatives 346 35 Modifier Placement 344 349 a Misplaced modifiers 349 b Disruptive modifiers 351 c Dangling modifiers 352 36 Comma Splices and Fused Sentences 354 Separate the clauses into two sentences 354 Link the clauses with a comma and a coordinating conjunction 356 Link the clauses with a semicolon 356 Rewrite the clauses as one independent clause 358 Rewrite one independent clause as a dependent clause 358 Link the two clauses with a dash 359 37 Sentence Fragments 361 a Phrase fragments 361 b Compound-predicate fragments 363 c Dependent-clause fragments 364 Sentence Grammar 283–365 a b c d e f 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 286 30 Basic Grammar The grammar of our first language comes to us almost automatically, without our thinking much about it or even being aware of it. Listen in, for instance, on a conversation between a six-year-old and her sister. AUDREY: My new bike that Daddy got me has a pink basket and a loud horn, and I love it. LILA: Can I ride it? AUDREY: Sure, as soon as you get big enough. This simple conversation features sophisticated grammar — the subordination of one clause to another, a compound object, and a number of adjectives — used effortlessly. Though native speakers know the basic grammatical rules, these rules can produce a broad range of sentences, some more effective and artful than others. Understanding the grammatical structures presented in this chapter can help you produce sentences that are grammatical — and appropriate and effective as well. 30a The basic grammar of sentences A sentence is a grammatically complete group of words that expresses a thought. To be grammatically complete, a group of words must contain a subject, which identifies what the sentence is about, and a predicate, which says or asks something about the subject or tells the subject to do something. 286 SUBJECT PREDICATE I The rain in Spain Stephen Colbert, who hosts a cable TV show, have a dream. stays mainly in the plain. pretends to be a conservative. 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 287 The basic grammar of sentences 30a Grammar Some sentences have only a one-word predicate with an implied, or understood, subject (for example, Stop!). Most sentences, however, contain additional words that expand the basic subject and predicate. In the preceding example, for instance, the subject might have been simply Stephen Colbert; the words who hosts a cable TV show tell us more about the subject. Similarly, the predicate of that sentence could grammatically be pretends; the words to be a conservative expand the predicate by telling us what Colbert pretends. EXERCISE 30.1 Identify the subject and the predicate in each of the following sentences, underlining the subject once and the predicate twice. Example: The roaring lion at the beginning of old MGM films is part of movie history . 1. My foot got tangled in the computer cord. 2. Her first afternoon as a kindergarten teacher had left her exhausted. 3. The Croatian news media is almost entirely owned by the state. 4. Our office manager, a stern taskmaster with a fondness for Chanel suits, has been terrifying interns since 1992. 5. Making bread on a dreary winter day always cheers me up. Parts of Speech All English words belong to one or more of eight grammatical categories called parts of speech: verbs, nouns, pronouns, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions, and interjections. Many English words regularly function as more than one part of speech. Take the word book, for example: when you book a flight, it is a verb; when you take a good book to the beach, it is a noun; and when you have book knowledge, it is an adjective. TALKING THE TALK Grammatical Terms “I never learned any grammar.” You may lack conscious knowledge of grammar and grammatical terms (and if so, you are not alone — American students today rarely study English grammar). But you probably understand the ideas that grammatical terms such as auxiliary verb and direct object represent, even if the terms themselves are unfamiliar. Brushing up on the terms commonly used to talk about grammar will make it easier for you and your instructor — as well as other readers and reviewers — to share a common language when you want to discuss the best ways to get your ideas across clearly and with few distractions. 287 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 288 288 Grammar 30b 30c Basic grammar Verbs Verbs are among the most important words because they move the meanings of sentences along. Verbs show actions of body or mind (skip, speculate), occurrences (become, happen), or states of being (be, seem). They can also change form to show time, person, number, voice, and mood. TIME we work, we worked PERSON I work, she works NUMBER one person works, two people work VOICE she asks, she is asked MOOD we see, if we saw Auxiliary verbs (also called helping verbs) combine with other verbs (often called main verbs) to create verb phrases. Auxiliaries include the various forms of be, do, and have (which can also function as main verbs) and the words can, could, may, might, must, shall, should, will, and would.  You do need some sleep tonight!  I could have danced all night.  She would prefer to learn Italian rather than Spanish. See Chapters 31 and 32 for a complete discussion of verbs. EXERCISE 30.2 Underline each verb or verb phrase in the following sentences. Example: Terence should sing well in Sunday’s performance. 1. After the holidays, I will ask for a pay raise. 2. The faucet had been leaking all day. 3. I agree; the office does need a new copy machine. 4. Ideally, you should drink eight cups of water each day. 5. A job at an animal hospital would be great. 30c Nouns Nouns name persons (aviator, child), places (lake, library), things (truck, suitcase), and concepts (happiness, balance). Proper nouns name specific persons, places, things, and concepts: Bill, Iowa, Supreme Court, Buddhism. Collective nouns name groups: team, flock, jury (32d). You can change most nouns from singular (one) to plural (more than one) by adding -s or -es: horse, horses; kiss, kisses. Some nouns, however, 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 289 Pronouns 30d Grammar have irregular plural forms: woman, women; alumnus, alumni; mouse, mice; deer, deer. Noncount nouns — such as dust, peace, and prosperity — do not have a plural form because they name something that cannot easily be counted (22c and 57a). To show ownership, nouns take the possessive form by adding an apostrophe plus -s to a singular noun or just an apostrophe to a plural noun: the horse’s owner, the boys’ dilemma (41a). Often the article a, an, or the precedes a noun: a rocket, an astronaut, the launch (57e). Articles, a kind of adjective, are also known as noun markers or determiners. FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Using Count and Noncount Nouns Do people conduct research or researches? See 57a for a discussion of count and noncount nouns. EXERCISE 30.3 Identify the nouns and the articles in each of the following sentences. Underline the nouns once and the articles twice. Example: The Puritans hoped for a different king , but Charles II regained his father’s throne. 1. After Halloween, the children got sick from eating too much candy. 2. Although June is technically the driest month, severe flooding has occurred in the late spring. 3. Manuel, an avid gardener, has a vegetable garden with tomatoes, lettuce, and sweet corn. 4. A sudden frost turned the ground into a field of ice. 5. In the front row sat two people, a man with slightly graying hair and a young woman in jeans. 30d Pronouns Pronouns often take the place of nouns, other pronouns, or other words functioning as a noun. Pronouns serve as short forms so that you do not have to repeat a word or group of words you have already mentioned. A word or group of words that a pronoun replaces or refers to is called the antecedent of the pronoun. (See Chapter 33.) ANTECEDENT  PRONOUN Caitlin refused the invitation even though she wanted to go. 289 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 290 290 Grammar 30d Basic grammar Here are the categories of pronouns: PERSONAL PRONOUNS Personal pronouns refer to specific persons or things. I, me, you, he, she, him, her, it, we, us, they, them  When Keisha saw the dogs, she called them, and they ran to her. POSSESSIVE PRONOUNS Possessive pronouns are personal pronouns that indicate ownership. my, mine, your, yours, her, hers, his, its, our, ours, their, theirs  My roommate lost her keys. REFLEXIVE PRONOUNS Reflexive pronouns refer to the subject of the sentence or clause in which they appear. They end in -self or -selves. myself, yourself, himself, herself, itself, oneself, ourselves, yourselves, themselves  The seals sunned themselves on the warm rocks. INTENSIVE PRONOUNS Intensive pronouns have the same form as reflexive pronouns. They emphasize a noun or another pronoun.  He decided to paint the apartment himself. INDEFINITE PRONOUNS Indefinite pronouns do not refer to specific nouns, although they may refer to identifiable persons or things. The following is a partial list: all, another, anybody, both, each, either, everything, few, many, most, neither, none, no one, nothing, one, some, something  Everybody screamed, and someone fainted, when the lights went out. DEMONSTRATIVE PRONOUNS Demonstrative pronouns identify or point to specific nouns. this, that, these, those  These are Peter’s books. 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 291 Adjectives 30e Grammar INTERROGATIVE PRONOUNS Interrogative pronouns are used to ask questions. who, which, what  Who can help set up the chairs for the meeting? RELATIVE PRONOUNS Relative pronouns introduce dependent clauses and relate the dependent clause to the rest of the sentence (30m). The interrogative pronoun who and the relative pronouns who and whoever have different forms depending on how they are used in a sentence (33b). who, which, that, what, whoever, whichever, whatever  Maya, who hires interns, is the manager whom you should contact. RECIPROCAL PRONOUNS Reciprocal pronouns refer to individual parts of a plural antecedent. each other, one another  The business failed because the partners distrusted each other. EXERCISE 30.4 Identify the pronouns and any antecedents in each of the following sentences, underlining the pronouns once and any antecedents twice. Example: As identical twins , they really do understand each other. 1. He told the volunteers to help themselves to the leftovers. 2. Kiah is the only one who understands the telephone system, and she is on vacation. 3. Who is going to buy the jeans and wear them if the designer himself finds them uncomfortable? 4. They have only themselves to blame. 5. Those people who claim they don’t have to study for exams aren’t fooling anyone. 30e Adjectives Adjectives modify (limit the meaning of) nouns and pronouns, usually by describing, identifying, or quantifying those words. Some people refer to the identifying or quantifying adjectives as determiners (57d).  The red Corvette ran off the road. [describes]  That Corvette needs to be repaired. [identifies]  We saw several Corvettes race by. [quantifies] 291 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 292 292 Grammar 30f Basic grammar In addition to their basic forms, most descriptive adjectives have other forms that allow you to make comparisons: small, smaller, smallest; foolish, more foolish, most foolish, less foolish, least foolish (34c). Many of the words that function in some sentences as pronouns (30d) can function as identifying adjectives (or determiners) when they are followed by a noun.  That is a dangerous intersection. [pronoun]  That intersection is dangerous. [identifying adjective] Adjectives usually precede the words they modify, though they may follow linking verbs: The car was defective. Other kinds of identifying or quantifying adjectives are articles (a, an, the) and numbers (three, sixty-fifth). Proper adjectives are adjectives formed from or related to proper nouns (British, Emersonian). Proper adjectives are capitalized (44b). FOR MULTILINGUAL WRITERS Deciding When Articles Are Necessary Do you say “I’m working on a paper” or “I’m working on the paper”? Deciding when to use the articles a, an, and the can be challenging for multilingual writers since many languages have nothing directly comparable to them. For help using articles, see 57e. 30f Adverbs Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, other adverbs, or entire clauses. Many adverbs have an -ly ending, though some do not (always, never, very, well), and some words that end in -ly are not adverbs but adjectives (scholarly, lovely). One of the most common adverbs is not.  Jabari recently visited his roommate’s family in Maine. [modifies the verb visited]  It was an unexpectedly exciting trip. [modifies the adjective exciting]  He very soon discovered lobster. [modifies the adverb soon]  Frankly, he would have liked to stay another month. [modifies the independent clause that makes up the rest of the sentence] Many adverbs, like many adjectives, take other forms when making comparisons: forcefully, more forcefully, most forcefully, less forcefully, least forcefully (34c). 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 293 Prepositions 30g Grammar Conjunctive adverbs modify an entire clause and help connect the meaning between that clause and the preceding clause (or sentence). Examples of conjunctive adverbs include however, furthermore, therefore, and likewise (30h). EXERCISE 30.5 Identify the adjectives and adverbs in each of the following sentences, underlining the adjectives once and the adverbs twice. Remember that articles and some pronouns are used as adjectives. Example: Inadvertently, the two agents misquoted their major client. 1. An empty subject line and a somewhat familiar sender’s name tricked me into opening the seemingly innocent email. 2. Nevertheless, her teenage son eventually overcame his poor study habits. 3. Koalas are generally quiet creatures that make loud grunting noises during mating season. 4. The huge red tomatoes looked lovely, but they tasted disappointingly like cardboard. 5. The youngest dancer in the troupe performed a brilliant solo. 30g Prepositions Prepositions are important structural words that express relationships — in time, space, or other senses — between nouns or pronouns and other words in a sentence.  We did not want to leave during the game.  The contestants waited nervously for the announcement.  Drive across the bridge, and go down the avenue past three stoplights. SOME COMMON PREPOSITIONS about above across after against along among around as at before behind below beneath beside between beyond by down during except for from in inside into like near of off on onto out over past regarding since through toward under until up upon with without 293 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 294 294 Grammar 30h Basic grammar SOME COMPOUND PREPOSITIONS according to as well as because of by way of due to except for in addition to in front of in place of in spite of instead of next to out of with regard to Research for this book shows that many writers today—including native speakers of English—have trouble using prepositions correctly. For more information on choosing prepositions, see p. 4 and Chapter 59. EXERCISE 30.6 Identify and underline the prepositions in the following sentences. Example: In the dim interior of the hut crouched an old man. 1. The transportation board of the county is planning to add limited bus service from midnight until 5:00 AM. 2. He ran swiftly through the brush, across the beach, and into the sea. 3. Instead of creating a peaceful new beginning, the tribunal factions are constantly fighting among themselves. 4. After some hard thinking on a weeklong camping trip, I decided to quit my job and join the Peace Corps for two years. 5. The nuclear power plant about ten miles from the city has the worst safety record of any plant in the country. 30h Conjunctions Conjunctions connect words or groups of words to each other and tell something about the relationship between these words. Coordinating conjunctions Coordinating conjunctions (24a) join equivalent structures — two or more nouns, pronouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, prepositions, conjunctions, phrases, or clauses.  A strong but warm breeze blew across the desert.  Please print or type the information on the application form.  Taiwo worked two shifts today, so she is tired tonight. COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS and but for nor or so yet 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 295 Conjunctions 30h Grammar Correlative conjunctions Correlative conjunctions join equal elements, and they come in pairs.  Both Bechtel and Kaiser submitted bids on the project.  Jeff not only sent a card but also visited me in the hospital. CORRELATIVE CONJUNCTIONS both . . . and either . . . or just as . . . so neither . . . nor not only . . . but also whether . . . or Subordinating conjunctions Subordinating conjunctions introduce adverb clauses and signal the relationship between an adverb clause and another clause, usually an independent clause (24b and 30m). For instance, in the following sentence, the subordinating conjunction while signals a time relationship, letting us know that the two events in the sentence happened simultaneously:  Sweat ran down my face while I frantically searched for my child. SOME SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS after although as as if because before even though if in order that once since so that than though unless until when where whether while Conjunctive adverbs Conjunctive adverbs signal a logical relationship between parts of a sentence and, when used with a semicolon, can link independent clauses (30m).  The cider tasted bitter; however, each of us drank a tall glass of it.  The cider tasted bitter; each of us, however, drank a tall glass of it. SOME CONJUNCTIVE ADVERBS also anyway besides certainly finally furthermore however incidentally indeed instead likewise meanwhile 295 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 296 296 Grammar 30i moreover namely nevertheless Basic grammar next now otherwise similarly still then therefore thus undoubtedly EXERCISE 30.7 Underline the coordinating, correlative, and subordinating conjunctions as well as the conjunctive adverbs in each of the following sentences. Example: We used sleeping bags, even though the cabin had sheets and blankets. 1. After waiting for an hour and a half, both Jenny and I were disgruntled, so we went home. 2. The facilities were not only uncomfortable but also dangerous. 3. We were going to have a yard sale because we had so much junk in our garage and needed more space; however, we decided to donate everything to charity. 4. Although I live in a big city, my neighborhood has enough trees and raccoons to make me feel as if I live in the suburbs. 5. Enrique was not qualified for the job because he knew one of the programming languages but not the other; still, the interview encouraged him. 30i Interjections Interjections express surprise or emotion: oh, ouch, ah, hey. Interjections often stand alone, as fragments. Even when interjections are part of a sentence, they do not relate grammatically to the rest of the sentence.  Hey, no one suggested that we would find an easy solution. Parts of Sentences Knowing a word’s part of speech helps you understand how to use that word. But you also need to look at the part the word plays in a particular sentence. Consider, for instance, the word description. SUBJECT  This description conveys the ecology of the Everglades.  I read a description of the ecology of the Everglades. DIRECT OBJECT Description is a noun in both sentences, yet in the first it serves as the subject of the verb conveys, while in the second it serves as the direct object of the verb read. 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 297 Subjects 30j Grammar AT A GLANCE Basic Sentence Patterns 1. SUBJECT/VERB S  V Babies drool. 2. SUBJECT/VERB/SUBJECT COMPLEMENT S  V SC Babies smell sweet. 3. SUBJECT/VERB/DIRECT OBJECT S  V DO Babies drink milk. 4. SUBJECT/VERB/INDIRECT OBJECT/DIRECT OBJECT S  V IO DO Babies give grandparents pleasure. 5. SUBJECT/VERB/DIRECT OBJECT/OBJECT COMPLEMENT S  V DO OC Babies keep parents awake. 30j Subjects The subject of a sentence identifies what the sentence is about. The simple subject consists of one or more nouns or pronouns; the complete subject consists of the simple subject (SS) with all its modifiers. SS  Baseball is a summer game. COMPLETE SUBJECT SS  Sailing over the fence, the ball crashed through Mr. Wilson’s window. COMPLETE SUBJECT SS  Those who sit in the bleachers have the most fun. A compound subject contains two or more simple subjects joined with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or) or a correlative conjunction (both . . . and, either . . . or, neither . . . nor). (See 30h.) 297 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 298 298 Grammar 30k Basic grammar  Baseball and softball developed from cricket.  Both baseball and softball developed from cricket. The subject usually comes before the predicate, or verb, but sometimes writers reverse this order to achieve a particular effect.  Up to the plate stepped Casey. In imperative sentences, which express requests or commands, the subject you is usually implied but not stated.  (You) Keep your eye on the ball. In questions and certain other constructions, the subject usually appears between the auxiliary verb (30b) and the main verb.  Did Casey save the game? In sentences beginning with there or here followed by a form of be, the subject always follows the verb. There and here are never the subject.  There was no joy in Mudville. EXERCISE 30.8 Identify the complete subject and the simple subject in each sentence. Underline the complete subject once and the simple subject twice. Example: The tall, powerful woman defiantly blocked the doorway. 1. That container of fried rice has spent six weeks in the back of the refrigerator. 2. Did the new tour guide remember to stop in the ancient Greek gallery? 3. There goes my favorite car. 4. Japanese animation, with its cutting-edge graphics and futuristic plots, has earned many American admirers. 5. Some women worried about osteoporosis take calcium supplements. 30k Predicates In addition to a subject, every sentence has a predicate, which asserts or asks something about the subject or tells the subject to do something. The hinge, or key word, of a predicate is the verb. The simple predicate (SP) of a sentence consists of the main verb and any auxiliaries (30b); the complete predicate includes the simple predicate plus any modifiers of the verb and any objects or complements and their modifiers. COMPLETE PREDICATE SP  Both of us are planning to major in history. 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 299 Predicates 30k Grammar A compound predicate contains two or more verbs that have the same subject, usually joined by a coordinating or a correlative conjunction. S COMPOUND PREDICATE  Omar shut the book, put it back on the shelf, and sighed.  The Amish neither drive cars nor use electricity. S COMPOUND PREDICATE On the basis of how they function in predicates, verbs can be divided into three categories: linking, transitive, and intransitive. Linking verbs A linking verb links, or joins, a subject with a subject complement (SC), a word or group of words that identifies or describes the subject. S V SC  Nastassia is a single mother.  She is patient. S V SC If it identifies the subject, the complement is a noun or pronoun (a single mother). If it describes the subject, the complement is an adjective (patient). The forms of be, when used as main verbs rather than as auxiliary verbs, are linking verbs (like are in this sentence). Other verbs — such as appear, become, feel, grow, look, make, seem, smell, and sound — can also function as linking verbs, depending on the sense of the sentence. Transitive verbs A transitive verb expresses action that is directed toward a noun or pronoun, called the direct object of the verb. S  V DO He peeled all the rutabagas. In the preceding example, the subject and verb do not express a complete thought. The direct object completes the thought by saying what he peeled. A direct object may be followed by an object complement, a word or word group that describes or identifies the direct object. Object complements may be adjectives, as in the next example, or nouns, as in the second example. S V DO OC  I find cell-phone conversations in restaurants very annoying.  Alana considers Keyshawn her best friend. S V DO OC 299 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 300 300 30k Grammar Basic grammar A transitive verb may also be followed by an indirect object, which tells to whom or what, or for whom or what, the verb’s action is done. You might say the indirect object is the recipient of the direct object. S  V IO DO The sound of the traffic gave me a splitting headache. Intransitive verbs An intransitive verb expresses action that is not directed toward an object. Therefore, an intransitive verb does not have a direct object. S V  The Red Sox persevered.  Their fans watched anxiously. S V The verb persevered has no object (it makes no sense to ask, persevered what? or persevered whom?), and the verb watched has an object that is implied but not expressed. Some verbs that express action can be only transitive or only intransitive, but most can be used either way, with or without a direct object. S  V DO A maid wearing a uniform opened the door. The verb opened is transitive here. S  V The door opened silently. The verb opened is intransitive here. EXERCISE 30.9 Underline the predicate in each of the following sentences. Then label each verb as linking (LV), transitive (TV), or intransitive (IV). Finally, label all subject and object complements (SC, OC) and all direct and indirect objects (DO, IO). Example: TV DO OC We considered city life unbearable. 1. He is proud of his heritage. 2. The horrifying news story made me angry. 3. A hung jury seems likely in this case. 4. Rock and roll will never die. 5. Advertisers promise consumers the world. 14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366)_14_LUN_66490_Pt07_(285-366).qxd 11/30/11 2:31 PM Page 301 Phrases 30l 30l Grammar Phrases A phrase is a group of words that lacks either a subject or a predicate or both. Noun phrases A noun phrase consists of a noun and all its modifiers. In a sentence, a noun phrase can play the role of a subject, object, or complement. SUBJECT  Delicious, gooey peanut butter is surprisingly healthful.  Dieters prefer green salad.  A tuna sandwich is a popular lunch. OBJECT COMPLEMENT Verb phrases A main verb and its auxiliary verbs make up a verb phrase, which can function only one way in a sentence: as a predicate.  I can swim for a long time.  His headaches might have been caused by tension. Prepositional phrases A prepositional phrase includes a preposition, a noun or pronoun (called the object of the preposition), and any modifiers of the object. Prepositional phrases usually serve as adjectives or adverbs. ADJECTIVE Our house in Maine is a cabin. ADVERB From Cadillac Mountain, you can see the Northern Lights. Verbal phrases Verbals are verb forms that do not function as verbs. Instead, they stand in for nouns, adjectives, or adverbs. A verbal phrase is made up of a verbal and any modifiers, objects, or complements. There are three kinds of ve