Why Is Your POF Message Not Being Sent Out

Do your POF message disappear?  Is your POF message not being sent to women?  Odds are you're using a banned word such as "cocky" or "bedroom."

Yup, Plentyoffish prohibits men from using certain words in their messages.  So, if you send a message to a woman and find out later it wasn't sent or your message disappeared, you probably used a banned word.

I recently covered How To Start Conversations on POF With Women but keep in mind; there are some words you can't use in your messages.  Keep reading to find out what words POF is preventing you from using in messages.

How I stumbled on POF banning specific words

One day I saw a woman looked at my profile and didn't send me a message.  As a joke, I casually wrote "I see you looked at my profile without messaging me.  Were you intimidated by my sex appeal?"

I was joking but thought it would be a funny opener.  I sent the message from my phone and left it at that. 

I didn't hear back from the woman and for whatever reason, checked my sent box.  I noticed my POF message disappeared.  I assumed maybe it was the POF app or perhaps I made a mistake and didn't send the message.

So, I wrote the same message and hit "send" and checked my sent box and again, nada.  I realized my POF message not being sent was because something was wrong with my message.  But what?

I looked at my message and quickly realized it was probably the word "sex."  I removed the word "sex" and sent this:  "I see you looked at my profile without messaging me.  Were you intimidated by my appeal?"  

Guess what?  The message got through to the woman.  So, I copied the message and added the word "sex" back to it and tested it to be sure.  Yep, the message wasn't sent out.  The word "sex" was the culprit.  Something was up.

I decided to do testing to figure out what words are banned by POF.  

I created a fake female profile to test messages

To get to the bottom of this, I created a fake female profile (don't judge) on POF which I used with my regular profile to send messages to and from.  I decided to test a few words by sending messages from my standard profile to my newly created fake female profile.

I had to get to the root of the problem; which words would prohibit my POF message not being sent out.  When my POF message disappeared from my sent folder, I know it's banned.  If the message came through, I know the word isn't banned.  Simple.

So, I brainstormed a few words and wrote some sentences to my fake profile.  Keep in mind, the sentences I used were to test if a specific word was banned or not by Plentyoffish.

I typed in this sentence; "What do you think of cocky men?" and POF showed me this:

Great!  POF said it sent my message, but when I looked at my sent message folder, the message was not there.  It never went out.  POF lied to me!

I then wrote this message, "I love hiking when it's muddy and dirty."  Guess what?  The message didn't go either.  POF banned the word "dirty." 

My next test was this sentence; "My dog sleeps on the floor in my bedroom."  Surely, this innocent word would get through.  Nope, the message wasn't sent out because of the word bedroom.

I followed it with "My dog sleeps in my bed." Again, the message didn't get sent out.  This time the word bed was the culprit.  

I wrote this sentence, "Blowing off some steam" and it went through while this sentence, "How do you blow off steam?" did not go through.  POF has banned the word "blow."

Words banned by POF

Through trial and error, I discovered you cannot send these words on POF

• cocky
• sex
• blow
• dirty
• bedroom
• bed

I am sure more words are banned from POF, but I didn't want to spend all day figuring out which words are targeted by the site.  I checked the POF Help Center and found this blurb:

"If your message is not sent, it may be for the following reasons:  Your message contains inappropriate content and was blocked."

Of course, POF didn't share what "inappropriate content" was so I emailed POF support asking for words that are not allowed and am still waiting for a response.

When, and if I get my response from POF, I'll add the words to the list above.

POF lets women send forbidden words

Now here's the kicker.  I noticed that POF allowed my fake female profile send messages with forbidden words to my regular dating profile.  Yup, women can send banned words to men.  WTF?  

Check out these sentences I sent from my fake female POF profile to my profile.  Below the screenshot shows all the words banned for men, actually went through to my inbox when sent from a woman.

They all went to my inbox.  BUT, I can't send the same messages back.  POF is protecting women from messages with banned words, but not men from women.  

Pay attention to your sent messages

I don't know what words POF has flagged as forbidden beyond what I tested above.  I only checked a few words, and you can see that they all have sexual connotations.  I am confident there are many more words which are banned by POF.

I get it that POF doesn't allow these to go through to women.  The word "bedroom" and "bed" though, are a little too much.  It's curious that women allow men to send these words out.  

Final Thoughts

If your POF messages disappear from your sent box it's because the site flagged your message as "inappropriate"; one of the words in your message is flagged.  When in doubt, check your sent messages folder.  

If you encounter any circumstances where your messages disappear from your sent folder and figure out what word caused it not to go, please comment below to add to the list of words POF has banned men from using.