Plenty of fish — Digital Spy

Plenty of fish

Eeyore1Eeyore1 Posts: 175
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Does anyone have any experience of POF?
I've been on it in but only found one person I like but even now I'm not sure about them.
Anyone have any success stories?
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Comments

  • SeasideLadySeasideLady Posts: 18,829
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    Because it's free and fairly easy to sign up to, it attracts a lot of rough characters. I know of someone who had multiple anonymous accounts on there to cheat on his wife. Used his male identities to chat up women, and a female one to chat up unsuspecting men !
  • blueisthecolourblueisthecolour Posts: 19,999
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    I went on POF a few years back and messaged a number of women over a 2-3 month period but never got a reply back. I had similar experiences on other dating sites though.
  • Eeyore1Eeyore1 Posts: 175
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    Oh god. See that's what worries me.
    The one guy I've been speaking to I thought was okay and now after speaking a while he says my photo is 'cute but no bikini pic' and considering I'm not a body confident bikini wearer it's made me feel quite bad about myself.
    All I want is to find someone who just loves me for me and I'm starting to think that that's too much to ask 😔
  • bunny93bunny93 Posts: 472
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    My best pal met her boyfriend ( now fiance!) on there. He is lovely and seems very genuine.
    One of my old friends has met her fiance on there now too and is expecting a baby with him! Her best friend has met her husband on there too.
    So I have heard lots of success stories, lots of people say its better than tinder.

    I go on it too occasionally and went on a few dates with a guy who was lovely but I only liked him as a friend.

    Hope you meet someone nice on there. good luck!
  • Eeyore1Eeyore1 Posts: 175
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    That's good to hear bunny, it's nice to know it can happen!
    I honestly don't know why this bloke didn't look at my photos, unless he did and is just being weird. But why talk to me for a week and then go on about photos. Annoys me so much as I feel like I've wasted time on him thinking he was okay. More fool me I suppose !
    Maybe I'll keep looking. I don't want someone who expects me to be perfect or doesn't see me as beautiful and would rather bikini photos. The right man will hopefully love me for who I am 🙂
  • owenmahamiltonowenmahamilton Posts: 1,357
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    I've tried it a few times (as well as other sites) I've sent numerous messages to women who seem nice but never got any replies back, either that or they reply and say they just met someone. As someone who is disabled and rather shy because of it, I find this really annoying and timewasting and expensive too.
  • RebelScumRebelScum Posts: 16,008
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    edited 20/03/17 - 15:20 #8
    Eeyore1 wrote: »
    That's good to hear bunny, it's nice to know it can happen!
    I honestly don't know why this bloke didn't look at my photos, unless he did and is just being weird. But why talk to me for a week and then go on about photos. Annoys me so much as I feel like I've wasted time on him thinking he was okay. More fool me I suppose !
    Maybe I'll keep looking. I don't want someone who expects me to be perfect or doesn't see me as beautiful and would rather bikini photos. The right man will hopefully love me for who I am 🙂
    Someone can't love you for who you are unless they get to know who you are. That takes time. If it's something meaningful and long lasting you're after you're probably best forgetting about POF, I know some people have had some luck with it, but generally it's a waste of time. If you must do online dating, try the ones that are more focused on relationships.

    You're still letting others make you feel bad about yourself. I remember this was mentioned previously. Some people are going to find you attractive, others aren't. And the ones that do are going to like you for different reasons. You can't control any of that. I strongly recommend you revisit previous advice. If you're putting yourself out there you need to like yourself no matter what others do, think or say.
  • Laurel1neLaurel1ne Posts: 11,932
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    edited 20/03/17 - 18:24 #9
    Eeyore1 wrote: »
    That's good to hear bunny, it's nice to know it can happen!
    I honestly don't know why this bloke didn't look at my photos, unless he did and is just being weird. But why talk to me for a week and then go on about photos. Annoys me so much as I feel like I've wasted time on him thinking he was okay. More fool me I suppose !
    Maybe I'll keep looking. I don't want someone who expects me to be perfect or doesn't see me as beautiful and would rather bikini photos. The right man will hopefully love me for who I am 🙂

    Sometimes they'll engage you in conversation for a week or two before asking for "more" pictures.

    I don't use POF because of the Free aspect, not that I have anything about it being free, but it makes it so much easier for people to create multiple accounts

    On Match I was talking to a guy for about a week, I was just about to suggest a coffee date when he posted and asked if I had anything a little more boudoir ? and enclosed a picture of his penis too

    I don't feel it was wasted time, it took about half an hour out of my life, maybe more with the gaps in between messages.

    Normally the creeps reveal themselves much sooner (usually by the 2nd paragraph) I'm guessing this guy hopes to get better results if he plays along a bit longer

    +1 on RebelScum;s comments about you're letting yourself be defined by others
  • Flash525Flash525 Posts: 8,862
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    Eeyore1 wrote: »
    Does anyone have any experience of POF?
    Yes, although I have nothing positive to say about the experiences. I've been on and off Plenty of Fish over the years, and it's the same old story; I'll sieve through local profiles, then send messages to those girls that I like, or that I think there are similarities (etc) with. It is extremely rare to get a reply though; I guess I just don't have that look. Oddly, the only replies I've got (lately) were to tell me that I wasn't local enough, or that I wasn't what [the recipient] was looking for. I've actually had better luck (by luck, I mean meets) through Tinder (three) than I have Plenty of Fish (zero).
    I went on POF a few years back and messaged a number of women over a 2-3 month period but never got a reply back. I had similar experiences on other dating sites though.
    I think all of these sites are ultimately the same; even the paid ones like Match.com (which I signed up and subscribed too back in January); the subscription sites are occupied by the same people, they're just less as there's a fee attached, whereas already stated, PoF is free (unless you wish to become an upgraded member, but I'll never understand why anyone would choose that option with PoF).
    Eeyore1 wrote: »
    The one guy I've been speaking to I thought was okay and now after speaking a while he says my photo is 'cute but no bikini pic' and considering I'm not a body confident bikini wearer it's made me feel quite bad about myself.
    Honestly, if a guy is concerning himself with what you look like in a bikini before he's even met you, I highly doubt his interest is long-term. You're best off looking elsewhere.
  • Eeyore1Eeyore1 Posts: 175
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    Flash525 wrote: »
    Eeyore1 wrote: »
    Does anyone have any experience of POF?
    Yes, although I have nothing positive to say about the experiences. I've been on and off Plenty of Fish over the years, and it's the same old story; I'll sieve through local profiles, then send messages to those girls that I like, or that I think there are similarities (etc) with. It is extremely rare to get a reply though; I guess I just don't have that look. Oddly, the only replies I've got (lately) were to tell me that I wasn't local enough, or that I wasn't what [the recipient] was looking for. I've actually had better luck (by luck, I mean meets) through Tinder (three) than I have Plenty of Fish (zero).
    I went on POF a few years back and messaged a number of women over a 2-3 month period but never got a reply back. I had similar experiences on other dating sites though.
    I think all of these sites are ultimately the same; even the paid ones like Match.com (which I signed up and subscribed too back in January); the subscription sites are occupied by the same people, they're just less as there's a fee attached, whereas already stated, PoF is free (unless you wish to become an upgraded member, but I'll never understand why anyone would choose that option with PoF).
    Eeyore1 wrote: »
    The one guy I've been speaking to I thought was okay and now after speaking a while he says my photo is 'cute but no bikini pic' and considering I'm not a body confident bikini wearer it's made me feel quite bad about myself.
    Honestly, if a guy is concerning himself with what you look like in a bikini before he's even met you, I highly doubt his interest is long-term. You're best off looking elsewhere.

    Yeah definetly
    I've actually not let it bother me and moved on so quite proud of myself. Normally I'd see it as something to do with me but it's him that's the problem not me. I'm trying to move on and talk to someone else and hopefully find someone worth spending time with x
  • barbelerbarbeler Posts: 23,828
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    I tried it but thought it was a right swizz. I didn't find even one woman who knew what a zig rig was or made her own boilies.
  • BethaneenyBethaneeny Posts: 9,831
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    I've been on it for 2 1/2 years and got nowhere. Every time I go on, it's the same people on there who were there when I signed up.
  • MustabusterMustabuster Posts: 5,509
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    Like most sites where people congregate you try to sort out the genuine people from the fakers and triers. Being free will mean there will be a higher percentage of dross to wade through.
  • HedylogosHedylogos Posts: 2,848
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    Bethaneeny wrote: »
    I've been on it for 2 1/2 years and got nowhere. Every time I go on, it's the same people on there who were there when I signed up.

    I noticed that when I used a couple less popular dating apps. The same women appearing, and I swear some of them are fakes/scams just trying to scam a new member. If not scammers then escorts looking for a client lol.
  • Flash525Flash525 Posts: 8,862
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    Bethaneeny wrote: »
    I've been on it for 2 1/2 years and got nowhere. Every time I go on, it's the same people on there who were there when I signed up.
    Hedylogos wrote: »
    I noticed that when I used a couple less popular dating apps. The same women appearing, and I swear some of them are fakes/scams just trying to scam a new member.
    I'm not convinced. I suspect there are a lot of genuine people on there, in fact I know some of them are. I suspect however that they're just far too picky and/or unrealistic with their expectations that they're not getting anywhere.

    The fakes are seemingly obvious; if you see a profile with little bio and a bunch of bikini pictures, it's either a scammer, or someone who's on there to play games and make themselves feel better about themselves (through the attention they'll attract from the people who mistakenly think they've got a chance).
  • ratty0ratty0 Posts: 2,720
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    edited 24/03/17 - 14:24 #17
    I think you can only go with your own experience rather than judging a whole site as good or bad. Lots of people have no success with any kind of online dating, and others do regardless of which site they use. It's not really so much about the specific site IMO but how you use online dating/your expectations and so on.

    I had a great time on PoF and met a whole load of lovely guys (I mean in person, after exchanging messages through the site). I didn't have any problems with weirdos - it might be that I got some weird messages - I don't really remember but you usually do with any kind of online site - but of course I just didn't reply to them and it was more amusing than any kind of problem. I met my current partner on there (3 years ago). I know plenty of other people who have too. Likewise I've got a friend who would say she had a 'bad' experience but she is not good at online dating generally - she just expects far too much and isn't remotely realistic. She treats it like she's got the pick of the entire membership and then gets upset when someone much better looking than her doesn't fancy her.

    There are lots more people on the free sites than on paid ones, in my experience people set on a very serious relationship from the outset make up the majority of people on the paid sites. There are the same people on free sites too - just saying that a higher percentage of the paid sites members are of that mindset. I think Tinder is now more popular than PoF but I don't know as I've not had any experience for 3 years :D

    But I really don't think you can generalise and assume other people's experiences will be like yours. It's a bit like asking someone what they think of their own marriage and then using their comments to decide whether or not you want to get married. It's just about what you do and what you make of it. I personally think dating experiences aren't specific to any site. If you don't enjoy it and believe you've tried as best you can, leave and try something else.
  • PemblechookPemblechook Posts: 2,702
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    Had quite a few dates via POF..might be 50+.. Been stud up had some total failures but made some good friends and had 4 girl friends from it. Been with number 4 about 4 years now. She lives with me and we are very happy. Can't see that any agency is any better than any other.. A lot of the same people are on many sites. You do have to be aware that many people are not genuine. I have noticed some women using someone else's pics. Many don't ring true and some may be linked to scams. Tagged is a good free site.
  • srpsrpsrpsrp Posts: 1,299
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    Eeyore1 wrote: »
    That's good to hear bunny, it's nice to know it can happen!
    I honestly don't know why this bloke didn't look at my photos, unless he did and is just being weird. But why talk to me for a week and then go on about photos. Annoys me so much as I feel like I've wasted time on him thinking he was okay. More fool me I suppose !
    Maybe I'll keep looking. I don't want someone who expects me to be perfect or doesn't see me as beautiful and would rather bikini photos. The right man will hopefully love me for who I am 🙂

    I think you need to remember that a lot of people sit at their desks in a paid job all day trying to keep them selves amused on sites like POF. It showed promise however most of the functionality was switched to pay only and now it is really as bad as the other current crop.
  • JDFJDF Posts: 4,250
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    Just tried eharmony. and got this We're sorry – we are unable to find the right type of people for you
    So there no one out there for me
  • Laurel1neLaurel1ne Posts: 11,932
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    Had quite a few dates via POF..might be 50+.. Been stud up had some total failures but made some good friends and had 4 girl friends from it. Been with number 4 about 4 years now. She lives with me and we are very happy. Can't see that any agency is any better than any other.. A lot of the same people are on many sites. You do have to be aware that many people are not genuine. I have noticed some women using someone else's pics. Many don't ring true and some may be linked to scams. Tagged is a good free site.

    It's always worth running the photos of your would be paramour through Google Image Search, especially if they're claiming to be living near to you but are away on business. Had one a month or so ago, the pictures were of some model in LA but the guy claimed to live in Camden but was away in Japan on business

    Having sussed him I let him dangle he kept telling me how much he longed to see me just as soon as he got home, then suddenly he told me he had a bill to pay, but he'd been locked out of his bank account could I pay the bill and he'd give me the money when he got back, which was any day soon :mrgreen:

    The one tell, and it takes a great deal of realism on your part, is why would someone so stupidly handsome (and the pictures of this model were) want to date you
  • PemblechookPemblechook Posts: 2,702
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    Ladies have told me about blokes who have claimed to own aircraft and all sorts but they seem to own PCs which are clapped out. etc etc.. Quickly sussed out. The women then go on to pretend to be taken in and have fun winding the blokes up.
  • srpsrpsrpsrp Posts: 1,299
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    I met my current lady on YouTwitter and she has more money than me, a great body, no annoying relatives and just sings in the kitchen.
  • ohglobbitsohglobbits Posts: 4,322
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    edited 25/03/17 - 23:05 #24
    srpsrp wrote: »
    I met my current lady on YouTwitter and she has more money than me, a great body, no annoying relatives and just sings in the kitchen.
    If only I'd known about this YouTwitter, I'd have got me one of those hassle-free relationships I hear so much about.
  • x_malibubabex_malibubabe Posts: 2,261
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    Yes, been with my bf 5 years now, we met on POF. I dated a nice guy for a few months before him too, but we weren't meant to be.

    There are a few good people on there but you have to sift through the freaks. Don't bother paying for things like Match and eHarmony, the same people are also on the free sites.
  • Eeyore1Eeyore1 Posts: 175
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    I suppose you're all right because everyone's experience is different, I suppose I just wanted to know if anyone had any success stories. Not sure how much difference it will make though, as like I've mentioned in other posts I have quite low self esteem and I worry a lot about rejection and also intimacy so I feel like I will screw everything up, because I don't know how to act. If I meet someone I like I worry I will just mess things up because of it. It's almost a relief if a date doesn't go well or if a date doesn't go ahead. And I hate that feeling as id love to finally meet someone and stop being lonely. It'd just be nice x
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