The best dating apps for introverts, wallflowers, and mindful daters

Who it's for:

Match: When eharmony is too intense, but you still want a serious relationship. If you're an introvert who prefers to take things slow and really get to know someone before jumping into a relationship, Match is the best dating site for you. Unlike eharmony's marriage-centered approach, Match lets you browse and connect with new people at your own pace without feeling overwhelmed or pressured.

Most Match users are between 30 and 49, so it's a good option for introverts looking for "real adults." According to the Match website, the 50+ age group is the app's fastest-growing demographic.

Why we picked this:

Owned by Match Group, Match is a popular dating site for people who are interested in making meaningful connections but aren't quite ready to tie the knot. Match offers a good middle ground between casual hookups and serious long-term relationships.

With plenty of filtering options, you can search for your perfect match based on similar interests, personality traits, and hobbies, so you'll have something to chat about right away. If you enjoy browsing anonymously, there's a feature called Incognito Mode that allows you to view profiles without the other person knowing. You can also peruse Match's blog, Heartbeat, for dating advice, tips on how to build the perfect dating profile, and more.

Read our full review of Match.

Read our full review of AdultFriendFinder.

Who it's for:

Hinge is great for introverts who struggle with expressing themselves or starting conversations. It helps users start meaningful conversations by providing prompts and letting individuals display their personality in their profiles through photos, videos, audio clips, and more.

While most of its users belong to the Gen Z or millennial demographics, Hinge stands out for its focus on creating genuine relationships through prompts and meaningful conversations rather than just swiping through photos.

Why we picked this:

Hinge's intuitive interface, with one potential match shown at a time, allows you to focus on each profile without feeling overwhelmed. By liking or responding to prompts, photos, and videos, introverts can carefully curate their interactions and choose the connections they feel most drawn to.

For introverts who prefer to take things slow or are hesitant about in-person meetings, Hinge offers integrated video dating as an alternative. This feature provides a convenient way to connect with potential dates without giving out your phone number.

However, we do feel obligated to mention that some Hinge users have been complaining that the app has an "attractiveness score." Hinge CEO Justin McLeod insists this is a myth, and that it is not something the app actually uses to match people. Instead, McLeod says the app uses an “individualized taste profile of who you like and who likes you back" to match users.

Who it's for:

If you're an introverted liberal looking for a compatible partner who isn't afraid to talk about important issues, OkCupid could be the dating app for you. With its unique approach to profile-building, including badges that showcase your values and personality traits, you can express yourself authentically and attract potential matches who appreciate the real you.

Why we picked this:

OkCupid is by far one of the most popular liberal dating sites that isn't actually marketed as such (other political apps like Lefty, caniDate, and Liberal Hearts are pretty upfront about that). It stands out among dating platforms for its algorithms, formulas, and user-generated responses, making it a great option for introverts. The platform's focus on well-crafted questions allows introverted users to reveal their personalities, preferences, and values comfortably and deliberately.

Unlike its fast-paced, swipe-happy competitors, OkCupid provides a thoughtful and nuanced approach to online dating for introverted individuals who may feel overwhelmed by excessive messaging or shallow interactions. The platform's emphasis on making meaningful connections and its compatibility assessment allow introverts to navigate the dating landscape at their own pace without feeling pressured or drained by superficial interactions.

Read our full review of OkCupid.

Who it's for:

If you're an introvert longing for a meaningful, long-term relationship, eharmony is where you want to be. Unlike other dating sites that encourage casual dating or short-term flings, eharmony is designed for introspective dreamers who crave a deeper connection.

And, although eharmony is historically a conservative dating site, the platform has been getting flack for veering off its traditional path and introducing more inclusive options, such as same-sex matches (which is good news for the LGBTQ+ community).

Why we picked this:

eharmony uses a compatibility matching system that pairs relationship hopefuls based on 32 different dimensions of compatibility. To get started, fill out the relationship questionnaire, and once you're confirmed as legit, the website will send you your compatible matches.

One standout feature of eharmony is RelyID, which helps verify the authenticity of member profiles. With RelyID, you can rest assured that you're interacting with real humans, eliminating the worry of catfishing. Additionally, eharmony's privacy settings ensure that your profile is only visible to those who are genuinely compatible with you, further streamlining the matching process and reducing unwanted attention.

For introverts, initiating conversations can sometimes be challenging. However, eharmony provides various conversation starters, including results from personality quizzes, prompts you answer, and photos you upload. These elements give you plenty of jumping-off points to engage in meaningful discussions with your matches.

Read our full review of eharmony

Who it's for:

Boo is ideal for introverts who are looking for a dating app that feels like a social networking experience. This platform understands that introverts thrive in intimate settings and value deeper connections over surface-level small talk.

It goes the extra mile by matching you with compatible individuals based on your personality type. Through an in-depth personality test, Boo delves into the depths of your character, ensuring you're connected with people who truly understand you.

Why we picked this:

If Twitter and Mastodon had a baby (and used Snapchat as its logo inspiration), it'd be Boo. This online dating site combines the best elements of both worlds, offering a unique blend of social networking and microblogging features.

Boo provides a more intimate and curated experience for those who thrive with quieter, more meaningful interactions. By joining themed communities, known as "universes," you can immerse yourself in topics and discussions that resonate with your passions.

Whether you're a bookworm seeking fellow literary enthusiasts, a gaming aficionado looking for teammates, or an art lover eager to connect with fellow creatives, Boo has a universe waiting for you.

Who it's for:

Lex is an inclusive dating app that welcomes anyone who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ community (though the user base does tend to skew towards lesbian and nonbinary folks). It provides a platform for queer friendship and community building and expanding your social circle.

Instead of relying on swiping or selfies, the app encourages users to express themselves through personal "ads" and notes about their personality, interests, and the type of partner they're looking for.

Why we picked this:

Lex stands out from traditional online dating apps by offering an unconventional experience that prioritizes words over photos. This aspect makes Lex feel more like a queer social media platform than a conventional dating app.

Last year, Lex announced that it was rebranding to continue "helping people find LGBTQ+ friends & queer community," which has upset some of the rowdier users who preferred the app's more casual, hookup-focused reputation.

Even so, Lex founder Kell Rakowski says nothing has changed as far as raunchy ads go: “We encourage Lexers looking for dates and hookups to continue horny posting on Lex! It’s their space to connect for love, friendship, and more.”

The app's features, such as the ability to post, edit, and delete ads at any time and the in-app messaging system, facilitate seamless communication and interaction with other users. The low-key and low-pressure atmosphere fosters a sense of camaraderie, making it an inviting platform for those who may feel apprehensive about navigating the queer dating scene.

One of the most appealing aspects of Lex is that it is completely free to use, making it more inclusive for everyone to explore and engage with the queer community and make new friends.

Who it's for:

If you're a shy person who isn't too excited about putting yourself out there (for fear of ghosting, rejection, or awkward first dates), an AI dating app like Iris might be worth trying.

This AI dating app takes you through three phases of "tests" to see which facial features you find most attractive. It uses that information to handpick potential matches, increasing your chances of finding someone who sparks genuine attraction and ignites a connection without sifting through countless profiles.

Why we picked this:

Unlike traditional dating apps, Iris considers your preferences by learning what you like before you even start. And, in a creepy but cool way, it lets you upload photos of people you find attractive to create a more personalized matching experience (but only if you want to). And, to get to know you even better, it gives you the option to specify why you passed or liked someone's profile to refine your matches further.

But it's not all about looks. Iris also tries to get into your interests through fill-in-the-blank prompts and offers "flavors," essentially tags that let your profile speak for itself. It also introduces a TrustRating system, where the more complete your profile is, the higher your rating. Additionally, all users must undergo selfie verification to ensure authenticity.

We didn't like the geolocation feature, as it may show you matches way outside of your distance, but the creators believe that distance shouldn't be a barrier to finding true connections.

Who it's for:

SilverSingles is a dating website designed for introverted singles over 50 who believe love has no expiration date. Whether you're rediscovering romance after a long hiatus or embracing new possibilities, SilverSingles can help you write the next chapter of your love story, proving that age is just a number when it comes to matters of the heart.

Why we picked this:

SilverSingles (a sister site of EliteSingles and Mashable's top pick for the best dating app for seniors) is designed for people over 50 looking for serious, meaningful relationships. It places a strong emphasis on compatibility and only shows three to five matches per day. This helps reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed and makes it easier for you to focus on the matches that are most likely to be a good fit for you.

Each SilverSingles profile includes a wealth of information, such as your personality type, interests, and relationship goals. This gives you a good understanding of each potential match before starting a conversation.

Who it's for:

Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a dating app for busy singles looking to build real connections with little to no effort. Most users are genuinely looking for something serious, so combining those factors means you'll find a lot of the young professional crowd in their late 20s and early 30s on this app. (It's kind of like EliteSingles for millennials.)

Why we picked this:

CMB uses an algorithm that considers factors from basic information (like location and age) to more nuanced criteria (like social network and interests) to match you with potential partners who align with your preferences. This thoughtful matching process helps introverts by reducing the need for extensive browsing and swiping, saving time and energy.

Instead of overwhelming users with endless choices, CMB curates a single match for each user daily. This approach allows for a more focused and deliberate dating experience, giving users time to fully consider each potential connection. Additionally, CMB provides icebreaker questions to facilitate a smooth initial conversation, and the chat room expires after seven days, encouraging users to move beyond the app and meet in person.

Who it's for:

Happn is a dating app for hopelessly romantic introverts who believe in the magic of missed connections. If you daydream about chance encounters and serendipitous meet-cutes, this app could be your digital fairy tale.

The app attracts a younger, swiping-oriented crowd, similar to other popular dating apps like Tinder. With around 70 million users and consistent monthly growth, happn has created a sizable user base that provides ample opportunities to discover and connect with people you've crossed paths with in the real world.

Why we picked this:

Believing in love at first sight is hard when you're too nervous about introducing yourself at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you of other users nearby. This feature is particularly valuable for introverts who may struggle with approaching strangers in public settings.

Happn acts as a virtual wingman, alerting you to potential matches you've crossed paths with in everyday situations, such as on the train or in a coffee shop. If you want to find love in your community (and with people who potentially share similar hobbies and schedules), this is the app to start with.

Who it's for:

Bumble is designed for women and non-binary individuals who want to take control of their dating experience. It empowers them to make the first move, providing a refreshing alternative to traditional dating apps.

With Bumble, women and non-binary folks can avoid the frustration of receiving spam messages or encountering inactive matches commonly found on other platforms. (And, if you're an introverted man, it takes the pressure off of having to come up with conversation starters.)

Why we picked this:

Bumble is a dating app that gives women and non-binary users the power to make the first move.

Bumble works similarly to other dating apps but has a few unique features. For example, matches expire after 24 hours, which encourages users to be timely with their responses. This is a win-win for everyone involved, as it prevents introverted people from being bombarded with messages and helps keep conversations moving forward.

Another great thing about Bumble is that it's more than just a dating app. Bumble also has a separate BFF app for finding platonic friends and a Bizz feature for networking.

In recent news, Bumble's new CEO, Lidiane Jones, says she's reconsidering the app's unique messaging system (which is exactly what it's known for), telling Fortune that it "feels like a burden for a subset of our customers today."

The company says it will do a relaunch later in the year that may offer pre-written messages to help users get the conversation started. Another idea? It may switch to a more traditional messaging system where both parties can initiate the conversation, which could make or break the Bumble experience for introverts.

Read our full review of Bumble.

Who it's for:

If you're a workaholic introvert, EliteSingles caters to you. The platform is particularly popular among educated and relatively affluent adults aged 30 to 55. With a gender breakdown of 56 percent women and 44 percent men, EliteSingles offers a diverse user base of over 170,000 individuals. If you're too career-focused and introverted to find a date offline, this is a decent place to start.

Why we picked this:

By evaluating your openness, conscientiousness, extraversion, agreeableness, and neuroticism, EliteSingles identifies the traits that truly define you. This in-depth analysis enables EliteSingles to match you with individuals with compatible personalities, increasing the likelihood of meaningful connections.

Extensive personality testing also offers an advantage for introverted users. It provides interesting conversation starters and makes finding people with similar interests and values easier.

Read our comparison of eharmony vs. EliteSingles.

Who it's for:

Zoosk caters to a wide range of individuals, but it's far from a decent dating site. If you really feel like you're out of options, it works as a last-choice option for introverts who want to explore the world of online dating.

Why we don't recommend this:

The idea behind Zoosk is it starts to understand you more and more as time goes on to help introduce you to the person you can spend the night or the rest of your life with, as the site's unique algorithm recognizes your preferences through the actions you take. The only problem is there doesn't seem to be a bunch of humans actually using the website. Once you log on, you'll realize that while Zoosk may have been a great place to meet people in the past, it's now a shadow of its former self. 

Features like SuperSend, which blasts out a message to a ton of users at once, may technically start a conversation but are basically Zoosk's built-in version of a spam message. We can't imagine the introvert who'd want a bunch of people responding to them when they don't even know if they want to be talking to them in the first place. Zoosk's features, including messaging, are behind their sky-high subscription fees. For a site that doesn't feel current, we have a hard time recommending it.

Read our full review of Zoosk.