If you’re a guy and you wonder, "Am I attractive?" keep reading. Most men lament that they just don’t understand what women are looking for in a man. After all, many physically attractive women are seen dating some pretty weird-looking people these days. Before you sign up for a complete body makeover, did you know that it may only take a birthmark like Drew Brees’s, the handsome quarterback for the New Orleans Saints, a pair of great eyes, or a strong jawline to appeal to a woman?
The science of attraction is hard to predict, research shows. Sure, sex appeal is about good looks and an emotional connection, but there's also a lot going on under the surface. "There is both a physiology and a psychology of attraction," explains Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist and the author of The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. "The physiology is what we call 'chemistry,' and it can be very misleading. You can have chemistry with an ax murderer."
According to numerous studies, the eyes have it. When compared with an attractive face, voice, or body odor, a large, dilated pupil is associated with the most attractiveness in both sexes. That’s because when people are aroused, that black circle in the middle of the eye enlarges. Both men and women find this arousal sign attractive, even if only subconsciously.
The white of the eye (sclera), too, is important in attracting the opposite sex. Research concludes that people with whiter (as opposed to redder) sclerata are seen by others as happier, healthier and more attractive. Just one more reason to get in bed early and avoid bloodshot eyes.
Women look for a dark limbal ring in men. The limbal ring is the border between the iris and the sclera. This circle on the very edge of your iris may be difficult to see in those with dark eyes. In a study at the University of Southern Mississippi in Hattiesburg, researchers reported that women found men with dark limbal rings healthier and more attractive than men without dark limbal rings. Limbal rings may signify youth, vitality, and health — all necessary for reproduction — and limbal rings do fade with aging. Very young children have the thickest, darkest limbal rings.
If you're now wondering what else appeals to women, get to know these physical and emotional traits that may increase your sex appeal.
Women Are Attracted to a Stony Mug
Women are least attracted to images of happy men and most attracted to images of prideful men, even though we may not think of pride as a desirable emotional trait, according to researchers from the University of British Columbia in Vancouver. They asked more than 1,000 adults to rate the sexual attractiveness of men in various photos.
"Bad boys usually have a type of charm and charisma, and they're used to using flattery to get what they want," Tessina explains. "This is attractive to a certain kind of woman. Many women are drawn to power, like men are drawn to beauty."
A Healthy Immune System and Strong Jawline Have Sex Appeal
A strong immune system can possibly imbue you with sex appeal. A study published in the journal Nature Communications found that men with high levels of the hormone testosterone and certain stress hormones also have stronger immune systems and tend to have more masculine facial features such as a strong jawline — a sexy physical trait. The authors of this study suggest that this combination may be a way that hormones help attract women to men.
Overall Fitness Makes Men Attractive
Men with a strong chin and a strong brow are more attractive to women who are ovulating, according to a study published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior, based on interviews with 66 heterosexual couples. The authors of the study suggest that when women are looking for someone to mate with, there is an evolutionary attraction to strong facial features because they are linked to stronger genes.
In addition to strong features, new research published in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B found that weight may also be a factor in attraction. While the women in this study responded favorably to a strong jawline in men, they used thinness and fatness to cue them into a man's overall fitness level more than any macho facial features — and the fitter the men appeared, the more attractive they were, perhaps because of the same desire noted in other studies for a man with a strong immune system.
Good Character Wins Points With Women
Men described as "generous" won points with women who participated in a study published in the British Journal of Psychology. Women believed these men had great sex appeal for long-term relationships or simply a single date; altruism got high marks as a good character trait.
"Women want a man who is honest and keeps his promises," Tessina says. "Reliability, responsibility, and accountability will give a man the strength of character to keep his marriage vows and promises."
A Facial Scar Keeps Women Intrigued
Although the mark on the New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees face is actually a birthmark, it still may give him a leg up with the ladies, according to research published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences. In the study, researchers asked 147 women to rate men with slight facial scars and men without facial scars for sex appeal. Overall, women thought the men with facial scars were sexier.
"Women who feel stifled or bored can easily fall for bad boys," Tessina says. "The movies and TV make the bad-boy image very romantic and sexy, and the edge of danger can be a thrill." But before you sign up for dueling lessons, know that the study also found that women only wanted these men for a short-term fling.
A Book-Smart Side Is Important for Long-Term Relationships
Women prefer smarter and more creative men, researchers at the University of California in Davis reported in the journal Evolution & Human Behavior, after asking women to review videos of men doing various verbal and physical tasks.
"This trend started when men like Steve Jobs and Bill Gates became rich and famous," Tessina says. "Less-attractive people are often more successful at building long-term relationships — and happier in their relationships — than attractive people." Being a nerd may impart sex appeal if women perceive you as responsible, intelligent, and a good financial provider. "This is incredibly important, because financial irresponsibility will create lifelong stress and deprivation," Tessina adds.
A Great Personality Can Impart Sex Appeal
No longer is "he has a great personality" code for a lack of attractiveness — it turns out that personal charm really adds to your sex appeal, according to a study published in the journal Personal Relationships. The study asked people to rate photos of the opposite sex for attractiveness before and after getting more information about their personalities. Photos attached to traits like being honest and helpful looked more attractive the second time around — and negative traits lessened the impact of good looks.