Q&A: Noel Fielding

Born in London, Fielding, 42, formed the comedy troupe the Mighty Boosh with Julian Barratt. They won the best newcomer Perrier at Edinburgh in 1998, and three TV series followed. Fielding’s other credits include The IT Crowd, Nathan Barley, and Never Mind The Buzzcocks. An Evening With Noel Fielding tours from 12 November to 13 December. He lives with his girlfriend, the radio presenter Lliana Bird.

When were you happiest?
At Croydon art college. I hated school, so when I got to this place with other people who could draw and were interested in wearing makeup, it was amazing.

What is your greatest fear?
Dying on stage at the O2.

What is your earliest memory?
When I was four, my parents took me camping and showed me this weeping willow that looked like a ghost, and there were bats in the outside toilet.

Which living person do you most admire, and why?
My dad – he’s very chilled. I am frantic and weird, and he’s the opposite. If I could be him for two weeks it would be like a holiday in my head.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
I’ve got quite a strong drive and that can be slightly deplorable. Struggling to become a famous comedian: there’s something weird about that.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I hate my feet. I don’t like my hands either: they’re like lions’ paws. When I was in the Boosh, in a catsuit and gold heels, I was constantly thinking, I hate the way I look. I should have just enjoyed myself, because that was as good as it was going to get.

What is your most unappealing habit?
I am always late.

What would your super power be?
I have dreams when I fly backwards. I’d like to fly forwards; backwards seems pointless.

Who would play you in the film of your life?
Christopher Walken, but he probably wouldn’t do it, so maybe it could be an animation with a puppet.

What is the worst thing anyone’s said to you?
A reviewer called Luxury Comedy the second 9/11.

What does love feel like?
A form of madness.

What was the best kiss of your life?
Me and my best friend, Craig, learned to kiss from watching Dynasty and Dallas. There were two girls we hung out with, and one day we had a kissing session. That was exciting.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?
Jim Morrison, Groucho Marx, Oscar Wilde and Patti Smith.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I say everything is “genius” and it clearly isn’t.

What is the worst job you’ve done?
When I was 14, I had a job in a cake shop. I got caught by the boss, lying down eating cake, and was sacked on my first day.

What has been your biggest disappointment?
That we didn’t do a Boosh film.

How do you relax?
Meditation.

What is the closest you’ve come to death?
When I was 11, I was with my cousin in a scrapyard; there were three trains on top of each other and we climbed up to the top. It was really high and I nearly fell off, but my cousin grabbed the back of my shirt.

How would you like to be remembered?
As a jester.