How to Stop Being Shy when You Dance

Co-authored by Yolanda Thomas and Janice Tieperman

Last Updated: March 4, 2023 Approved

Does the very thought of dancing make you break out in a nervous sweat? If so, you’re not alone. It can be tough to face your fears on the dance floor, but don’t worry. There are tons of ways to build your confidence, both physically and mentally. We’ve put together a few tips and suggestions to help get you on your way.

1

Mimic other dancers.

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Find some other people who are really jamming out to the music. Hang out nearby and try to mimic them on the dance floor. You do not have to imitate them exactly—just recreate their joy, whether they’re jumping up and down or just swaying to the music. Who knows; after seeing your moves, they might invite you to join them!^{[1]
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- For instance, if a group of dancers are rocking out to a high-energy song, you might bounce up and down or rock your head to the music.

2

Remind yourself that no one is watching.

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Assuming that other people are watching or judging you is a really common worry, especially when you’re dancing. Don’t worry. The people around you are most likely preoccupied and not paying any attention to what you’re doing.^{[2]
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3

Don’t compare yourself to other dancers.

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Whether you’re at a party or school dance, it’s easy to compare yourself to other dancers nearby. Try not to focus on what other people are capable of; instead, acknowledge that you’re your own person, and that you’ll grow and improve at your own pace.^{[3]
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4

Dance in a dark space.

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Build your dancing confidence at home in baby steps. You don’t have to face your fears all at once.^{[4]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source} Believe it or not, some people find it easier to dance in a dark space instead of a well-lit area.^{[5]
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Research source} Try dancing in a dimly-lit area of your own home and see if that helps.
- Always dance in an open area without any tripping hazards.

5

Learn new dance steps.

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Hit the dance floor with your own dance moves. You might whip out some classics, like the Dougie, Grapevine, or Electric Slide. Or, change things up with the Woah, 2 Step, or Biz Markie.^{[6]
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Research source} If a popular Tiktok song comes on, like “Say So” by Doja Cat, “Cannibal” by Kesha, “Attention” by Todrick Hall, or “Rule the World” by Liz, show off your best Tiktok dance moves.^{[7]
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- Knowing a variety of dance moves can help you feel a little more confident, even if no one else is hitting the dance floor.

6

Approach a partner.

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You might not feel as shy if you’re dancing with someone else. For a direct approach, introduce yourself and ask the other person if they’d like to join you on the dance floor. If you’d like to take a more subtle route, try making eye contact and gesturing for them to join you.
- You can always break the ice with a compliment first, or ask a question like “Have you been dancing for a while?” or “What’s your favorite dance move?”

7

Enter a dance circle.

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If you notice a dance circle popping up, make your way to the center and show everyone what you’re made of. Even if you mess up, no one will remember or care afterward.^{[8]
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8

Focus on having fun.

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Dancing is all about expressing yourself in a fun, physical way. It’s okay if your dance moves aren’t music video caliber. That doesn’t mean you can’t have fun! Focus on dancing for yourself, and not to please anyone else in the room.^{[9]
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9

Pretend that you’re a confident dancer.

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Imagine that you’re an actor in a movie and you’re playing the role of a star dancer. Try embracing that confidence and bravado in your dance moves, even if you aren’t feeling all that confident. Sometimes, you just have to fake it at first!^{[10]
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10

Put your anxious thoughts in perspective.

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Ask yourself if your dancing insecurities really matter in the long run. Negative, anxious thoughts can really throw you for a loop, especially if you’re getting ready to dance. Analyze these thoughts individually, and try to view them in a positive, realistic light. As you challenge your dancing fears and insecurities, you may realize that there’s nothing to worry about.^{[11]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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- Challenge a thought like “What if I mess up and look like an idiot?” with “Anyone who judges me on my dancing isn’t worth having as a friend.”
- Fight a thought like “What if I trip while I dance?” with “I won’t be the first to slip up during a dance, and I definitely won’t be the last.”

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Tips

If you’d really like to improve your dance skills, consider signing up for a class. A supportive teacher can help show you the ropes.^{[12]
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Research source} Plus, a learning environment is a great way to get over shyness while dancing.^{[13]
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Expert Source

Yolanda Thomas
Dance Instructor

Expert Interview. 15 November 2019.}

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