How to coparenting with a broken heart? - Single Moms | Forums | What to Expect
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How to coparenting with a broken heart?

I have been through hell & back with my BD. He has cheated on me multiple times in our relationship. Inconsistent on whether he wanted to be with me or not. Recently he decided that he wants to "do him" again meaning here we go..breaking up again. This time I'm not even interested in getting back together because clearly he is not the man for me. I know I deserve better. I don't even want to be around him anymore because of all the times he has done me wrong. However, I can't just cut him off completely like any ol ex. He's the father of my unborn child. Now I'm trying to figure out how to successfully coparent with a broken heart. Everytime I see him.. I get angry from all the hurt he's caused me. I just can't stand to look at him. I know I should put my feelings aside for our son but man it's so hard. I'm so sad and hurt and lonely. This isn't how I pictured having my first child would be. It's so depressing.

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I’ve been where you are and I’m sorry to say it doesn’t get much easier. My little one it four months old and it’s still hard. I know with my other kids dad it took a while to get in the swing of co parenting but it takes time and patience.

It’s will be ok mama!! You will find someone that loves you and your son and you will forget what an ass he is!!


Thanks for the honesty & encouragement ❤ It's a really painful situation.


It’s gonna be tough for quite sometime but it does get easier and even when it gets easier you’ll still have some downs in between. I wish I could tell you how to co parent, all I can say is patience and choose your battles. Always remain calm even when you want to flip bat *** crazy lol (I’ve been there) just let it go. I hope the best for you and the little baby

Painful situation, I agree..Maybe you should search some another man? In this case, you can distract yourself and look at the situation from the other side. Maybe this will be better for you. Try some dating website like this one. I wish you health and peace of mind!

Same situation here. Except... this is our 2nd baby together. Definetly planned too so that makes it more hard. The day before I found out, we broke up. It’s been very confusing bc this time around, we were more perfect than we’ve ever been. So I guess I’m not sure where things went wrong all of a sudden. Or maybe I do but it’s still crazy to me considering how we were literally just talking about getting married and having another baby. Well, we made one of those things happen and I find myself alone once again and it’s made it a bit hard to be as happy as I wanna be about this pregnancy bc we were supposed to be a happy family this time around. But, I guess things never change. It sucks but taking it day by day is all you can do. I agree it does take a lot of patience.

So sorry you are dealing with your pregnancy alone.   
But, seriously, if he has cheated on you many times, do you not think that behavior is just going to continue?   He does not seem to be interested at all in having a son so you may not have to worry about coparenting.   I agree when you say you need to be done with him.   You are worth more.   Have respect for yourself and draw some boundaries.  You deserve a man who loves you unconditionally, treats you like the love of his life and respects you for the gift that you are.   Have you ever considered getting some counseling.  It so helped me when I was separating and divorcing.  Gives you a different perspective, helps you head in the direction of healing and forgiveness for your own emotional health.   Can you take a step and break the cycle?  You will not regret it.   Think of your son and move forward for him.  There are loads of helps out there for single moms.   Surround yourself with those who truly love you and will walk through this difficult time with you.  Please take care.

Life is an experience and a choice. Do not get from you with one look for another or third


I have the same issue to deal with. Except in my case it’s my husband of 4 years (together 7) and our 2nd child. So now I have to coparent with a 1.5 year old and 5 week old. It’s extremely difficult to juggle the two of them. And I’m breastfeeding. And I too have a broken heart. I have been alone since January. And since then every time he’s come to the house to see his kids I can’t even look at his face. It hurts. I’ve not ever gotten a genuine apology for what he’s put me through the last 2 years almost. Not that I’d believe him if I did. He’s a lying cheating narcissist. And had hardly any involvement with his daughter for 15mos while living here and now threatens to take me to court for 50/50 to put my babies in daycare 11hrs a day when he has them. He’s a complete monster and yet I have to coparent with him which is impossible with a narcissist from what I’m reading. They manipulate the *** out of court. Basically he’s now lying to his lawyer too about me to make a paper trail of me looking “bad”. It’s ridiculous. This is not how I expected my life to be either. It’s very painful to live through this.

I hope it’s going better for you?! 🙏🏼


@mandylee62 Hi! Do you have any suggestions for dealing with a narcissist? I’m pregnant and my ex says nothing but hurtful things and that he will see me in court. My babies not even due until December and so far not one bit of help and if anything the anxiety he’s causing me is crazy. I continue to let him insult and try to provoke me (which I’ve learned I just have to absorb and not respond to) but since he’s so manipulative I’m scared he will try to take my baby or waste my financial resources just to hurt me, which is a situation I’ll do anything to avoid so I can properly raise my child. Any help you can provide based on your experience is appreciated


I’m so sorry I do not. This is new for me too. Other than like you said just don’t respond. They like drama and like to create it. From what I read it says “be a gray rock”. They feed off your emotions. They enjoy upsetting people and making them mad or sad. It makes them feel better about themselves. So just be indifferent. I try not to engage with my husband. I keep it business like. And only communicate via text so it can be documented. And I can cut it off if it gets overwhelming.

I too will have resources drained that I don’t even have. It’s ridiculous. It’s not about the children. It’s about control and manipulation. And since they cant do it to you anymore they do it via the kids. It’s sick. From what I read they will manipulate the *** out of court and judges too. Try and read online about co-parenting with a narcissist. It’s not pretty. Basically not even co-parenting. It’s more like parallel parenting it says. Good luck! Sorry you and anyone else is going through this too. It’s really an awful experience that I wish upon no one 😕


I understand what you’re going through. I’m going through a similar situation. I’ve been going to therapy and church which has helped me to keep a more positive mindset. I hate that I now have to be tied to someone for the next 18 years that broke my heart. However, I know there will be someone else out there that will treat me way better than he ever did!


I went through the exact same thing earlier this year. It didn't really start to get better until we had an actual conversation about how we both felt about the situation and what we needed to do to give my baby the best life possible. If hes willing. maybe you could try and have that conversation too and maybe you can get some closure with that relationship. Regardless, it gets easier as time goes on. Keep your chin up darling ❤