“It’s perfect. We traded one nuked civilization for another.” – Battlestar Galactica.
Bill Murray wasn’t cast as Thor by Marvel®. They figured that no one likes an electricity Bill.
I had an utterly different post planned. It was so funny that the laughing that it would induce would have caused your ribs to exit your body. It was a post so funny, it was dangerous. Comedy, as they say, is not always pretty. I try to do those posts on Fridays. Why?
I had a boss that gave sage advice: never give your boss bad news on a Friday afternoon or a Monday morning. I figure that people need a palate cleanser going into the weekend, and try to provide a bit of fun. And this post that I had planned? It would have been banned by the Geneva Convention as a Weapon of Mass Hilarity.
Sadly, that post might now be lost to history, since I have to replace it with this one. Normally, my posts are created weeks in advance and focus tested against a cross-section of laboratory badgers who have no spleens. Why no spleens? They tell me that’s important, something about we don’t need no spleenin’ badgers.
But no, the Occupant-in-Chief decided to make the single most irresponsible statement ever made by someone who was sworn in as President since Richard Nixon said, “What’s the worst that they can do to me?”
I don’t want to be accused of taking Biden out of context (not that there’s much of a chance of that) but here’s his quote, to the most accurate degree I can find:
“Those who say the blood of patriots, you know, and all the stuff about how we’re gonna have to move against the government, if you think you need to have weapons to take on the government, you need F-15s and maybe some nuclear weapons.”
First, Biden is as articulate as a fourth-grader with fetal alcohol syndrome who’s just smoked a bowl of Hunter Biden’s crack. And, yes, his Fraudulency has a son who smokes crack with hookers and takes videos of it. This is a thing that really happens. Of course, the response from the Left is to say Putin is corrupt.
Sorry. I’ll try to stick to the topic.
Second, that’s also the same logic as a fourth-grader with an extra chromosome or three who’s just huffed a can of sparkly gold spray paint. Abraham Lincoln made the obvious response fairly well:
“All the armies of Europe and Asia could not by force take a drink from the Ohio River or make a track on the Blue Ridge in the trial of a thousand years. No, if destruction be our lot we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of free men we will live forever or die by suicide.”
Lincoln was wrong about a lot of things. He was right about a lot of things, too. He is correct about this:
“As a nation of free men, we will live forever or die by suicide.”
Joe Biden could have the armies of the united States get him a drink by force from any river in this land. But Joe Biden and all the armies of the united States couldn’t hold the length of the Missouri or the Mississippi for a single day by force.
The armies of the united States number some 1.3 million men oh, wait people oh, wait, xim/xers. Add in the Reserves? Let’s round WAY UP and call it three million. Total.
There are three million males in Missouri. I pick Missouri only because they recently decided they’re going to tell the Feds to attempt to compact a very large object into a very small space when it comes to firearm laws.
Not all of the three million males in Missouri would be on the side of freedom, since there are always some disgusting gelatinous slugs of humanity that will side with Evil over Truth. But there are enough. And don’t tell me that neighboring states wouldn’t flow in.
No, Mr. Biden. The only one who needs F-15s and nuclear weapons for control is you, you disgusting pile of fake hair, fake teeth, Alzheimer’s degraded brain, who gets his only Father’s Day card encrusted in cocaine dust and whore DNA.
The united States governs only, let me make this clear, only by consent of the governed. As citizens, we’re generally pretty good. But we are horrible, horrible at taking instruction from tyrants. It’s in our DNA.
No, literally. This is not an exaggeration. My family line came across an ocean to tame a continent. That was their resume. That was their job description as they rocked back and forth on little wooden boats in the midst of Atlantic storms. We didn’t come here because we were weak. We came here to fight and die and bleed and make this land our own.
We came here because we were strong.
We came here because we yearned for freedom.
Mr. Biden, your butt-sniffing and shoe-licking parents and your degenerate sons and personal weaknesses are abhorrent to every fiber of my body. Mr. Biden, you are disgusting. Mr. Biden, your forefathers were horrible. Mr. Biden, you and your weaknesses represent everything wrong with this country, and everything that has led to where we are today.
How dare you threaten me?
- To threaten me is to threaten Duncan MacWilder of the Clan MacWilder, who came here before this was a country.
- It is to threaten Hans Wilder, who came here to leave tyrants behind in Europe before World War I.
- It is to threaten my forefathers who died hewing a civilization out of this continent with their blood and sweat and toil and dead babies so lazy writers like me could exist.
The deal we made in 1776 is the same one we have today, Bucko. We are here because we have certain inalienable rights.
Mr. Biden, you want to threaten me with jet fighters? Mr. Biden, you want to threaten to use nuclear weapons against your own citizens?
We didn’t come here for that. We didn’t die here for that. We didn’t bury our sons and daughters on dusty plains and hills and hallows across this country, building it with our blood for that.
Reparations? We paid for that in blood in places you have long forgotten, like Manassas Junction. Everyone I’ve ever been able to research on any part of my family has been someone who made the united States better.
We taught Eisenhower (really). We built farms. We built bridges 150 years ago that still exist today. We built infrastructure that serves tens of millions of people – this is not an exaggeration. We built railroads across mountains that mountain goats couldn’t cross. We took trains up those mountains when the snow was 20 feet deep. With our kids.
Just for fun.
We raised and nurtured children and taught them freedom.
Our blood is in this soil. Our children are buried here as payment from sea to sea.
My blood is in this soil. My forefathers weren’t evil. They were Big Damn Heroes. Odin and Thor and Jesus would be proud of them for their courage.
Did other people build this land as well? Sure. But Wilder blood is spread here from the Mayflower to today.
- I can do no less than to tell you, Mr. Biden, what Duncan MacWilder would have said:
- I can do no less than to tell you, Mr. Biden, what Patrick Henry would have said (distant relative, according to an aunt):
- I can do no less than to tell you, Mr. Biden, what Hans Wilder would have said:
And, to mark the first time I have ever used this word on this blog? Each and every one of them would have added:
Fuck you, Mr. Biden.
Bring your jets. Bring your nukes. The only way you have to dislodge us off this continent we conquered with our blood and sweat and buried kin is to kill us all. We will never give up. We will never surrender. This will not die with me. Or my children.
You will never defeat us. Never. Our blood is here. Here we make our stand. We can go to no other country for freedom. We can go no further to a distant frontier. Despite what you will try to do with us, despite the injustices you will visit on us, we will win. We will mock you, and your grave will be pulled up and your bones used by our children for their amusement.
We will smile, and nod.
We did not choose this. We do not want this.
You spiked the ball too soon. Maybe two generations into the future, they would go gentle onto that goodnight.
Too soon, Bucko.