This post contains spoilers from episode seven of The Bold Type.
Richard and Sutton are over. At least for now. This week's episode of The Bold Type ended with them realizing that as long as they had to keep their office romance a secret, they wouldn't be able to move forward as a couple. The turning point came after Richard hosted a dinner for Sutton's friends and found himself on the outside of their inner circle (i.e. the bathtub). Cosmo spoke to Sam Page (Gossip Girl, Mad Men) about the breakup, his own experience dating coworkers, and how he supposedly came close to playing Smith Jerrod on Sex and the City.
Do you think Sutton and Richard made the right decision — should they have broken up?
Well … no. They were both feeling a lot of pressure and it was a decision made out of frustration and fear. Sutton has fears about how she’ll be viewed in her job. And for Richard, it had to do with the fear of getting caught and how it would potentially end his career at Steinem. [There’s also] frustration about whether they’re at different places in their lives, no matter what they felt about each other and how much they cared about each other. The idea of "it’s just not the right time for us."
What do you think was going through his mind when he sees Kat, Jane, and Sutton in the tub? It seems like that might have been a turnoff.
Yeah … I think that was kind of a frustration of “Hey, wow, this is a little immature.” Another aspect of that moment is when [Sutton]'s reeling from her edible reaction, he goes to see if he can help her and she says, “No, I need my friends.” And while I don’t think Richard’s interested in supplanting them, I think he does want to be part of the branch of her support tree.
You’re married now [to Cassidy Boesch] but when you were dating, how were you about meeting a girlfriend’s friends? Did you feel pressure to impress them?
I never like to approach any situation trying to impress. That’s something you learn in the entertainment industry — the second people sense you are trying to impress them, they are immediately unimpressed. If you walk into a room wanting a job, you most certainly won’t get it if they know that. So when I met my wife’s friends … that’s such a big part of who she is, and so meeting them was really getting to know my wife better, and I was very excited about that and wanting to know them and hear their stories.
It’s tough when you run into that situation like, “Uh-oh, I see a red flag.” Like you meet a friend where you think, That person might not actually be a very good friend. You see something that they do that your girlfriend or wife might not see, and you think, “Ohhh, I suspect that somebody’s intentions aren’t quite as pure as they seem to be.” Luckily, with my wife, that was not [a problem].
What do you think a guy should do if he sees a red flag?
I think you keep an eye on it. Without overstepping your bounds, you try to protect your loved one as much as possible. It’s also very difficult to put yourself in between your partner and a friend because that’s not really your place. Unless it’s asked, don’t intervene.
Have you ever dated a coworker? And did you find that it was tricky like it was for Sutton and Richard, or different because you’re not in a corporate environment?
Yes, I have. It’s definitely tricky. Hoo boy, is it tricky with actors. But it is not in the same way, not where it needs to be kept under wraps. Although sometimes the directors don’t like their actors to be dating because they feel like it ruins the on-screen chemistry. I remember one job a long time ago — and it was the writer who said this to me, who now is one of my closest friends in the world — I was working in Spain and had just arrived, and we were all going out for dinner, and he said, “Do you fancy the woman playing [your] fiancé in the movie?” And I said, “Well, she’s beautiful, yeah.” And he said, “Well, OK, but promise me nothing will happen until we wrap because I’ll know. I’ll look at you and I’ll see the chemistry change on camera if you do. So don’t do anything until we wrap.”
And you listened?
Eh, you know. A little bit. I certainly took it under advisement.
Where do you stand on dating coworkers: Would you advise against it or is it fine?
Well, it’s fine to date a coworker but it’s hard to continue dating them when you’re not working together anymore. I dated one woman who, when we talked about our pasts and our exes and stuff, I realized they kind of really lined up with her IMDB page, and I thought, OK, we can date while we’re working, but the next time you start a job, I fully expect you to start dating the guy you’re working with so I’m not taking it too serious.
Did you wind up being right?
Yeah. I absolutely was. And I had no problem with it. I wasn’t suffering any delusions.
Your wife isn’t an actress, right? Did you intentionally avoid marrying another actor?
I married a teacher. She runs a pre-preschool. [But] I never put any kind of limitation or rules out because you wouldn’t want to exclude someone. I like to think that whoever I would spend the rest of my life with would be unique in their own field, whether it’s in the same field as mine [or not], and my wife certainly is.
By the time I met my wife, I wasn’t thinking that marriage would even be a thing. I didn’t mind the concept of having a partner for the rest of my life but I wasn’t sure about the whole legal aspect of it. But when I met my wife, I knew immediately that my life would be very heavily impacted by this woman. And then shortly thereafter knew it was a done deal.
What about the legal aspects of marriage bothered you?
Just knowing my personality, when you’re beholden to somebody by the law, when somebody outside of your relationship is telling you what the mandates are on it, I have a tough time being governed in my relationship. But then when my wife and I were together for a very short period of time, even though we were almost at three years of dating by the time we got married, but once it became very clear that we met our people, then it was a no-brainer, it was like, “OK, sure, let’s do this.”
How did you meet?
I met her at a friend’s cocktail party, and we just chatted. She was the first person I met when I walked in the door, and we talked all night, and I ended up driving her home because her friend wanted to leave. And on the way home [after I dropped her off], I called my friend — it was late too, because we talked a long time — and I left a voicemail and said, “I just wanted to go on the record to say, this has never happened to me before and I guess I wouldn’t believe in this until it happened" — it was love at first sight. Love at first sight is real. It happened to me.
And it happened less than two weeks after I had been out at an early summer/late spring happy hour with my two best friends. All three of us were single and we made a solemn oath to stay single the whole summer and have a summer of craziness. Ten days later, we all went out to dinner and I said, “Guys, I’m out.”
Did you ever audition for Sex and the City? I feel like you could have.
Yes, it’s so crazy. The role that Jason — the guy who was the boyfriend of Samantha?
Smith Jerrod [played by Jason Lewis].
Smith Jerrod, yeah. I had just gotten off of All My Childen. So for that role, they only met people, there weren’t auditions. And I went in and met with them, with the producers, and they talked about the role a bit. At the time, that show was very risqué. It wouldn’t be nowadays, but it was very risqué, and they said, “Now, there’s going to be a lot of nudity. Are you OK with that?” And they said, “There will be simulated sex.” And I said, “What do you mean by 'simulated,'” even though I knew what they were talking about. It went well but I never heard anything. Then a couple months later — and I don’t know if this is true, but a couple of months later, I went out for drinks with my then-agent’s assistant, we were friends, and we were with some girls, and they were talking about Sex and the City, and he goes, “Man, can you believe how close you were to getting that job?” And I was like, “What are you talking about?” And he said, “Oh, yeah, they had meetings, and they would announce who was still in the running, and you got down to the final five or three or something like that.” I had no idea.
Have you seen Smith’s scenes?
I’ve seen some, yeah.
Do you think you would you have been able to pull them off?
He was probably in a lot better shape than I was so when he takes his shirt off … he was in good shape. But I was game to do any of that. It would have been a lot of fun.
Back to Richard and Sutton: Is there hope for them?
I think yes. Because they’re still going to be in each other’s environment to a certain degree and the breakup was not a blowup. I feel like there will be plenty of opportunity, whether it’s this season or next, to revisit the question of “why can’t we have this?” Sometimes it takes the absence of something to really appreciate it.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
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