Update: It's done today!

Previous Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce/comments/jojl3m/my_mariage_ended_last_night/

So a while back, I had a post on here about my wife leaving for a date the day after we signed our first papers. Things have kind of been a shit show since then, and she has shown me who she is.

Tonight we are going to sign the decree and will officially be divorced (technically next week cause the judge won't get it till Monday, but still!)

My wife and I had a very co-dependent relationship. We were together for a bit more than 16 years and married for just shy of 14 years. We have two kids, 13 and 12. I had been unhappy for a long time and finally got to the point I told her I wanted to leave. That was like May. Over the next few months, we made a little progress but also reverted several times.

We separated for a few months. I decided to get divorced and that we would live together until our lease was up. We both had accepted that we had a co-dependent relationship and that we wanted to work on it. At one point, when I brought up continuing on, she got mad and said she had already fixed all her issues. She was fine. I just said I still needed it; even if she was good, I wasn't.

Over the next few weeks/months, things got more awkward. She got more distant, spent all her time in her room. I stayed away. She started bringing up this guy she met at work and how she was flirting with him but was confused. When we talked about signing our first paper, we had to get it notarized, and she said she could do it at work cause at least then it would be ok how much she is flirting with him. The day after we signed, she went on a date with him. She made sure to point out what she was doing. It hurt bad, sent me into a panic attack. That was really hard. I told her I had to leave because that was brutal. She told me she knew it would hurt me but did it anyway.

I have been out of my house for about a month and a half now. I have continued to feel better. In the last few weeks, I have been doing a lot of reflecting on our relationship. I know the reasons why I left, but Jesus thinking about it, I have no idea how this didn't end years ago.

She is incredibly manipulative; she fucks with me and does it to get what she wants. In the process of the divorce, she told me to my face. "I never thought you would leave, so I stopped trying" This was in response to me telling her I felt unloved for a lot of our relationship. I think in the back of my head, I kept holding out hope she would try. She would show me that she wanted it to. She didn't; she showed me more of her true self. More and more and more, I see all these issues from way back that are just so crystal clear now.

Anyway, I made the post on here, and you guys were super helpful and comforting. I was in a bad spot and having a lot of problems and negative thoughts. Everyone who commented was helpful, and a lot of you offered good advice. I can't thank you guys enough. It meant the world.

I am so much happier now; I am starting to date again. I am just in a good mood. I am getting in a good groove with my kids. I am talking to my friends again; I am working on hobbies, just so much happier with my life. I still think about her a lot, but it doesn't lead to missing her much anymore; mostly, it leads to anger for how she treated me.

Again, I just wanted to say thank you!