With her marriage to Kody Brown seemingly over, Janelle Brown contemplates her next steps and reveals whether she wants to start dating again in the latest episode of Season 18 of "Sister Wives."
While meeting with former sister wive Christine Brown for lunch, Janelle Brown explains that she's "growing" and needs "something different."
"What do you mean, something different?" Christine Brown asks.
"Like, I don’t want to be married anymore," Janelle Brown replies.
"You're done," Christine Brown says.
"Yeah, and I don't know what to do with that," Janelle Brown says.
In a confessional interview, Janelle Brown describes the transitional period she's living in.
"I’m in this really weird place right now cause I don’t want Kody back at my house and there’s really no legal mechanism that says we’re divorced. But I’m not at all interested in any other kind of relationship," she says.
Kody Brown has always considered himself spiritually married to three of his wives (Meri, Janelle and Christine Brown) and is legally married to Robyn Brown. Originally, he was legally married to Meri Brown but asked her to legally divorce him so he could adopt Robyn Brown's kids.
Janelle Brown spells things out more clearly in her confessional.
"I’m not interested in dating. I mean, unless God somehow throws this guy right in my path and points with big arrows, 'This is it. This is it. This is it,' I’m just not. I’m just not interested," she says.
Back at lunch, Janelle Brown explains how she told Kody Brown not to come back to her house. She says they both suggested attending counseling together, but nothing has happened so far.
“I’m struggling because I still have so much affection for him. But I just ... I need something different as far as a marriage goes. It’s OK to grow. It’s OK to change. And sometimes your partner comes along and sometimes they don’t," she says.
Christine Brown asks if Janelle Brown would ever consider going back to Kody Brown if he "changed."
"Yes, but I think it's unrealistic," she replies.
In a confessional, she elaborates on her feelings.
"I can’t think of any reason that I would want him to come back at this point ... I’m just waiting on God to tell me if if what I’m doing is OK," Janelle Brown says.
Meanwhile, Kody Brown offers his own thoughts on his fractured relationship in a confessional.
“Janelle keeps telling me she doesn’t enjoy our time together. She doesn’t want a divorce, but she doesn’t want me around. But I want the marriage to thrive for the sake of our children and for our honor," he says. "I mean, divorce is embarrassing. I don’t know why we’re still this culture of of like divorce is shameful. But I don’t want to break up."
Back in her confessional, Janelle Brown revisits a theme that was prevalent in Season 17 of "Sister Wives:" patriarchy.
"He wants a wife who’s all partnering with him and not independent and I’m like, that will never be me. He’s really advocating patriarchy and I’m not that person," she says.