It’s a sentiment we hear at work all the time: “Don’t take it personally” or “Hey, it’s not personal, it’s business.” People say it during feedback sessions, reorgs, negotiations, and in plenty of other daily work interactions. But it’s an absurd idea. We spend the bulk of our waking hours at work — indeed, the bulk of our lives — and we’re not supposed to take an offense personally? We need to drop this phrase from our lexicon. Instead, say something like, “Don’t beat yourself up about it” or “Don’t think of this as a failure that represents your value and worth as a person.” It’s not just about nuanced language and psychology; it’s about real business results. Engaged employees perform better. And what is engagement if not “taking it personally”? The best leaders take things deeply personally and encourage others to do the same.
Source: Adapted from “Don’t Take It Personally” Is Terrible Work Advice,” by Duncan Coombe