Dad Leaving Son's Wedding After He Refused to Dance With Stepmom Dragged

Dad Leaving Son's Wedding After He Refused to Dance With Stepmom Dragged

A dad has been slammed online for leaving his son's wedding because he refused to dance with his stepmom.

In a post on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA****** forum, user u/Raoyee3 explained that he left his 27-year-old son's wedding early because he denied his stepmom a mother-son dance.

His son Jordan lost his mom when he was just 13, and stepmom Natalie came into his life when he was 16. The dad explained that they never had a particularly close relationship.

"He refused to let her get close and shut down every attempt to have a close relationship," said the poster. "He even moved in with his aunt months after Natalie and I got married."

Wedding dancefloor
A file photo of a couple dancing at their wedding. A dad has been slammed for leaving his son's wedding early because his son didn't dance with his stepmom. gorodenkoff/Getty Images

But as time went on, the family did reconcile and were even seeing each other more often. Jordan invited his dad and stepmom to his wedding, but things did not go smoothly.

"We got there and the atmosphere was great," said the poster. "Until later when I found out that Jordan had denied Natalie a mother-son dance and instead chose his aunt to dance with him."

Zoe Burke, leading wedding expert and editor of Hitched.co.uk told Newsweek: "Mother-son dances are not hugely popular or typically as traditional as the father-daughter dance, but that doesn't mean that you can't have one if you love the idea."

When Natalie told her partner that she had been refused the dance, the father was upset.

"I couldn't help feel irritated and quite upset. I decided to get up and leave, and we both left. I got calls from my family after they saw me leave," said the poster. "Jordan called later and I told him why I did it. He got mad and said it was his wedding and that his aunt is basically a mother to him and said that Natalie shouldn't expect 'special treatment.'"

But the dad disagreed. "I said it's not special treatment but a tradition," he wrote. "Besides that he hurt her feelings for no reason other than for the sake of being malicious. He got offended and accused me of ruining his day and causing a scene."

Turning to the internet for advice, the dad asked if he was wrong to have left the wedding early because of the dance, and online people overwhelmingly slammed him for the decision.

"YTA [you're the a******]," said one reply. "Your wife has never been his mother and he has every right to not have a mother/son dance with her. I strongly suspect this isn't the first time you've chosen your wife over your son and is probably why he moved in with his aunt."

"You are a complete a** for walking out of his wedding," agreed another commenter.

Burke said: "I think if the couple are paying for the day themselves, they have every right to expect their wishes to be respected and for the day to go how they planned. The only time I would ever really expect a couple to consider their parents' wishes on their wedding day would be if the parents had contributed a considerable amount towards the wedding budget."

Another Redditor wrote: "You made your son's wedding about your wife. Congrats on destroying your relationship with your son for tradition."

"Natalie is just your wife. She is not your son's mother. It's not a 'tradition' for your son to dance with someone whom he does not consider his mother," said another reply. "Don't force your personal decisions on someone, especially when it is his wedding day."

"Leaving the wedding was never going to lead to the problem being easily and amicably resolved," said Burke. "In situations like this, I would always suggest keeping quiet on the day as it's not going to do anything other than upset the happy couple on their wedding day—a day they're not going to get to have again."

Instead, Burke suggested discussing any issues from the special day in a civil manner after the wedding.

"There are always two sides—perhaps the son felt it might be disrespectful to his late mother, perhaps he doesn't like dancing in general—and a calm discussion is more likely to solve problems than leaving," she added.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Raoyee3 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of this case.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.

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Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.

About the writer


Alice Gibbs is a Newsweek Senior Internet Trends & Culture Reporter based in the U.K. For the last two years ... Read more

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