Summary

• Peter's goofiness and dimwittedness make him the source of many hilarious quotes throughout Family Guy's 20-year run.
• Family Guy often uses social commentary to poke fun at internet trolls and our tendency to overreact to small and stupid things.
• Peter's impulsive and unpredictable nature leads him to make outrageous decisions and talk about unconventional topics on network television.

Among the colorful cast of the hit cartoon sitcom Family Guy, there's probably no character more well-known and amusing than Peter Griffin, coming up with some of the best Peter Griffin quotes. After all, it's this goofy, dimwitted man from which the show's name is derived. Father, husband, and often the driver for setting up sporadic gags, Peter has become the predominant icon of the show. Given his randomness and painfully naive, childish ways, he's naturally the linchpin for much of the humor, and by extension, many of the show's funniest quotes.

Between his lack of self-awareness, casual cruelty, immense stupidity, and strong New England accent, nearly everything that Peter says is comedy gold. It's hard to believe that over 20 years have passed since Family Guy first aired. Such longevity is exceedingly rare in a television series and now seemed like a good time to revisit some of the classic lines of one of the characters who significantly contributed to the show's popularity: the lovable Griffin patriarch, Peter.

20 "I Have An Idea So Smart That My Head Would Explode If I Even Began To Know What I Was Talking About."

Season 2, Episode 5 - "Love Thy Trophy"

Family Guy is predicated on a central concept: Peter Griffin’s buffoonery. Usually, that involves a quickly thought-out and hastily executed plan that can only work with a copious amount of cartoon logic resulting in some of the best Peter Griffin quotes. Examples like this abound, from his plan to stop kids from licking toads to get high by infiltrating James Woods High School to claiming his house as a sovereign state to beating the heck out of a man-sized chicken. Peter’s hair-brained schemes seem to follow an internal logic that only makes sense to him, as this quote makes clear.

19 "Gosh, It's Not Like The Internet To Go Crazy About Something Small And Stupid."

Season 13, Episode 1 - "The Simpsons Guy"

Family Guy often manages to infuse its episodes with social commentary, either slyly or directly. When Peter’s one-panel comic stirs controversy on the internet during their crossover with The Simpsons, Peter observes that “it’s not like the internet to go crazy about something small and stupid.” Clearly, the comment was an indirect way of lampooning internet trolls who’ve nitpicked elements of both iconic shows. Moreover, it was a general statement about people using the internet to complain about the minutiae of daily life and their propensity to overdramatize issues disproportionately.

18 "I'm Not Going To Tell You Where But I Will Give You A Hint: It Wasn't On My Nose Or My Ear And It Was One Of My B***s."

Season 4, Episode 25 - "You May Now Kiss The...Uh...Guy Who Receives"

Peter’s impulsivity is a hallmark of the series. The constant indulgence of his ‘stream-of-consciousness’ schemes drives the plot for many episodes. In Season 4, Episode 25, Peter accompanies Brian’s cousin Jasper to a piercing salon to celebrate his impending nuptials. Getting a first-time piercing is not something most people decide upon spontaneously, especially when it’s a particularly sensitive portion of the human anatomy. Peter’s decision to do just that highlights his impulsiveness, as well as the series’ propensity to mention topics conventionally unmentionable on network television.

17 "Bird Is The Word."

Season 7, Episode 2 - "I Dream of Jesus"

Indulging in shenanigans and beating a joke to death is par for the course on Family Guy, which is part of its unique appeal. Perhaps one of the most consistent gags occurred when Peter discovered the '60s song Surfin’ Bird by The Trashmen, resulting in one of the best Peter Griffin running gags. Obsessed, Peter would often set up some unsuspecting character with a “Haven’t you heard?” before he’d spontaneously break out into the song’s chorus and dance. This seemingly happens whenever the opportunity arises, making the most popular music reference on Family Guy.

16 "Shut Up, Meg."

Season 10, Episode 2 - "Seahorse Seashell Party"

The amount of vitriol and unabashed hatred Meg seems to engender in her entire family (and her father in particular) is equally disturbing, unwarranted, and hilarious. The Season 10 episode, “Seahorse Seashell Party,” reveals that the family’s animosity towards Meg serves as a way to channel their dysfunction in a way that won’t implode the family and cause its disintegration. That still hasn’t stopped Peter from treating Meg horribly. Still, the funniest bit of Peter’s dumping on Meg is a perfectly timed, drawn-out, and disdainful, “Shut up, Meg,” which he’s uttered on many occasions.

15 "There's A Message In My Alpha-Bits. It Says 'Oooooo.'"

Season 1, Episode 6 - "The Son Also Draws"

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane establishes early on and emphatically that Peter's idiocy knows no bounds, setting the stage for some hilarious gags. A prime example of this early in the show's run comes from its very first season, which features Peter and Brian sitting at the kitchen table. Peter seems flabbergasted that his Alpha-Bits® have flashed him an ominous message of an extended "Ooooooo." To cap this off, Brian responds with an irritable "Those are Cheerios." The nonchalant manner of this response indicates that the family dog puts up with quite a bit of Peter's naivety.

14 "Let's Go Drink Until We Can't Feel Feelings Anymore."

Season 3, Episode 19 - "Stuck Together, Torn Apart"

A major Peter trope - which is second only to his stupidity - is his love of beer. It's no secret that the man enjoys throwing back some beer. One gem of a quote that further drives this home can be found in the show's third season, which features Peter's friends pulling up to his place in a police vehicle, ready to drink the night away. The quote Griffin delivers before joining his pals in the van has since become an iconic, meme-worthy line, even spawning Family Guy memorabilia featuring it.

13 "I'll Be Damned If I'm Gonna Be Lectured By A Pervert."

Season 3, Episode 22 - "When You Wish Upon A Weinstein"

Lois certainly isn't shy about calling out her husband's naive, insensitive, and immature ways. One such example comes from the fan-favorite Season 3 episode, "When You Wish Upon a Weinstein," which contains one of the best Peter Griffin quotes. Lois remarks that Peter is acting like a child. His response? An absurd, yet uncharacteristically clever retort, explaining that this would make Lois a "pedophile." He then caps off this silly zinger by walking out of the house and remarking that he won't be lectured by a pervert. It's a memorable moment that's emblematic of the show's more nuanced roots.

12 "We Took A Lot From The Simpsons."

Season 14, Episode 3 - "Guy Robot"