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Rules for Writers with Writing about Literature by Diana Hacker

Rules for Writers with Writing about Literature by Diana Hacker

    Mansoor Ahmed  Khan
This page intentionally left blank This page intentionally left blank Brief Menu How to use this book and its companion Web site xiii The Writing Process 1 The Writing Process 1 Exploring and planning 2 2 Drafting the paper 23 3 Making global revisions; then revising sentences 35 4 Building effective paragraphs 50 Academic Writing 69 Academic Writing 5 Writing about texts 70 6 Constructing reasonable arguments 84 7 Evaluating arguments 102 Clarity 111 Clarity | Grammar | ESL 8 Active verbs 112 9 Parallel ideas 116 10 Needed words 119 11 Mixed constructions 123 12 Misplaced and dangling modifiers 127 13 Shifts 135 14 Emphasis 141 15 Variety 152 16 Wordy sentences 156 17 Appropriate language 161 18 Exact words 171 Grammar 179 19 Sentence fragments 180 20 Run-on sentences 188 21 Subject-verb agreement (is or are, etc.) 196 22 Pronoun-antecedent agreement (singular or plural) 207 23 Pronoun reference (clarity) 212 24 Pronoun case (I and me, etc.) 217 25 who and whom 223 26 Adjectives and adverbs 226 27 Standard English verb forms, tenses, and moods 232 Multilingual Writers and ESL Challenges 251 28 Verbs 252 29 Articles (a, an, the) and types of nouns 267 30 Sentence structure 277 31 Prepositions and idiomatic expressions 286 Punctuation 291 Punct | Mech | Basics | Design 32 The comma 292 33 Unnecessary commas 308 34 The semicolon 314 35 The colon 319 36 The apostrophe 321 37 Quotation marks 326 38 End punctuation 333 39 Other punctuation marks 335 Mechanics 341 40 Abbreviations 342 41 Numbers 345 42 Italics 347 43 Spelling 350 44 The hyphen 358 45 Capitalization 362 Grammar Basics 367 46 Parts of speech 368 47 Sentence patterns 381 48 Subordinate word groups 389 49 Sentence types 398 Document Design 401 50 Principles of document design 402 51 Academic formatting 409 52 Business formatting 412 Research 419 Research 53 Conducting research 420 54 Evaluating sources 437 55 Managing information; avoiding plagiarism 448 Writing Papers in MLA Style 457 MLA Papers 56 Supporting a thesis 460 57 Citing sources; avoiding plagiarism 464 58 Integrating sources 469 59 Documenting sources in MLA style 479 60 MLA manuscript format; sample paper 523 Writing Papers in APA Style 533 APA Papers 61 Supporting a thesis 536 62 Citing sources; avoiding plagiarism 539 63 Integrating sources 543 64 Documenting sources in APA style 550 65 APA manuscript format; sample paper 578 Writing about Literature 597 Writing about Literature 66 Reading to form an interpretation 597 67 Planning the paper 603 68 Writing the paper 606 69 Observing the conventions of literature papers 609 70 Integrating quotations from the work 611 71 Using secondary sources 619 72 Sample papers 622 Glossary of usage 653 Answers to lettered exercises 667 Index 684 Other helpful resources 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 1 7/26/11 9:57 AM this page left intentionally blank 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 2 7/26/11 9:57 AM SEVENTH EDITION Rules for Writers with Writing about Literature Diana Hacker Nancy Sommers Harvard University Contributing ESL Specialist Consulting Editor Marcy Carbajal Van Horn Joseph Bizup St. Edward’s University Boston University Bedford/St. Martin’s Boston ◆ New York 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 3 7/26/11 9:57 AM For Bedford/St. Martin’s Executive Editor: Michelle M. Clark Senior Development Editor: Barbara G. Flanagan Senior Development Editor: Mara Weible Senior Production Editor: Rosemary R. Jaffe Assistant Production Manager: Joe Ford Senior Marketing Manager: Marjorie Adler Editorial Assistant: Kylie Paul Copyeditor: Linda McLatchie Indexer: Ellen Kuhl Repetto Permissions Manager: Kalina K. Ingham Senior Art Director: Anna Palchik Text Design: Claire Seng-Niemoeller Cover Design: Marine Miller Composition: Nesbitt Graphics, Inc. Printing and Binding: Quad/Graphics Taunton President: Joan E. Feinberg Editorial Director: Denise B. Wydra Editor in Chief: Karen S. Henry Director of Marketing: Karen R. Soeltz Director of Production: Susan W. Brown Associate Director, Editorial Production: Elise S. Kaiser Managing Editor: Elizabeth M. Schaaf Library of Congress Control Number: 2010941562 Copyright © 2012 by Bedford/St. Martin’s All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, except as may be expressly permitted by the applicable copyright statutes or in writing by the Publisher. Manufactured in the United States of America. 6 5 4 3 2 1 f e d c b a For information, write: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 75 Arlington Street, Boston, MA 02116  (617-399-4000) ISBN: 978-0-312-64795-7 Acknowledgments Acknowledgments and copyrights can be found at the back of the book on pages 680– 83, which constitute an extension of the copyright page. It is a violation of the law to reproduce these selections by any means whatsoever without the written permission of the copyright holder. 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 4 7/26/11 9:57 AM Preface for instructors Hacker handbooks have long been recognized as the most inno- vative and practical college references — the handbooks that re- spond most directly to student writers’ questions and challenges. Over the past six editions, students and instructors have relied on Rules for Writers for its comprehensive instruction and affordable price. As a classroom teacher, I know how important a trusted handbook is in helping students make the most of their writ- ing experiences in college and beyond. The more students rely on their handbook and learn from its lessons, the more powerful and effective they become as writers. And more than a million college students have become confident writers with the practical and straightforward guidance of Rules for Writers. My goal in revising the seventh edition was to create an even more useful handbook for today’s college writers. With this goal in mind, I traveled to more than forty-five colleges and universi- ties to observe how students use their handbooks and how in- structors teach from them. I listened, everywhere, for clues about how to make Rules for Writers an even more valuable compan- ion for students throughout their academic careers and an even stronger resource for the teachers guiding their writing devel- opment. Throughout my travels, I heard students talk about the challenges of applying the handbook’s lessons to their own writ- ing. All of the seventh edition’s new features are designed to make this task easier for students. For instance, you’ll find a series of writing prompts — As you write — to help your students con- nect key lessons of the handbook to their ongoing drafts. These prompts ensure that Rules for Writers will be even more use- ful — and of greater value — for students as they compose their way through college and into the wider world. As you look through the seventh edition, you’ll discover practical innovations inspired by conversations with teachers and students — content crafted to increase the handbook’s ease of use in and out of the classroom. An innovative feature I’m particularly excited about is Revising with comments. During my travels, I asked students about the comments they receive most frequently and asked instructors to show me the comments they write most frequently on their students’ drafts. The answers to these questions, combined with my own research on responding to student writers, shaped this feature, which helps students and instructors make the most of revising and commenting. In keep- ing with the Hacker tradition, this new feature teaches one lesson v 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 5 7/26/11 9:57 AM vi Preface for instructors at a time — how to revise an unclear thesis, for instance — and directs students to specific sections of the handbook to guide and inform their revision strategies. In Rules for Writers, Diana Hacker created a handbook that looked squarely at the writing problems students face and offered students practical solutions. Diana took everything she knew from her thirty-five years of teaching and put it to work on every page of Rules for Writers. It has been one of the great pleasures of my teaching career to build on that foundation and carry on this tradition. And I’m happy to extend the tradition of offering practical solutions by including new material for instructors in this edition. I hope that you and your colleagues find this edition more useful for your classroom teaching than ever before. As coauthor, I am eager to share this handbook with you, knowing that in the seventh edition you’ll find everything that you and your students trust and value about Rules for Writers. Features of the seventh edition What’s new? More choices add flexibility. • a Classic edition of Rules for Writers, spiral-bound with coverage of writing, research, and grammar • a tabbed spiral-bound edition of Rules for Writers, with all of the Classic content plus coverage of writing about litera- ture and easy navigation with eight tabbed sections A more practical Instructor’s Edition.  For your own teaching, the IE will come in handy; it features classroom activities, help for integrating the handbook into your course and promoting stu- dent use of the handbook, and answers to exercises. New help that prompts students to use their handbook • New writing activities — called As you write — help students apply handbook content to their own writing. (See p. 17.) • New Making the most of your handbook boxes help stu- dents pull together the advice they need from different parts of the book to complete writing assignments. (See p. 4.) • New student-friendly terms (main idea, flow, represent- ing the other side) help students find advice using language they recognize. (See p. 93.) 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 6 7/26/11 9:57 AM Preface for instructors vii Concrete strategies that help students revise • New Revising with comments pages, based on Nancy ­Sommers’s research with students at two- and four-year schools, help students understand feedback and give them strategies for revising in response to comments on their drafts — comments like “narrow your introduction” and “be specific.” (See p. 30 for an example.) • A new stepped-out process for revising thesis statements helps students identify a problem in a draft thesis, ask rel- evant questions, and then revise. (See pp. 28–29.) More emphasis on key academic writing and research skills • New coverage of synthesis — with illustrated examples — helps writers understand sources, put sources in a conversation, and then figure out what new angle they bring to that conversation. (See 58c and 63c.) • New advice for writing an annotated bibliography, a com- mon college assignment, features a sample entry in the handbook (see p. 449) along with two full annotated bibli- ography models on the companion Web site. • More than eighty-five new documentation models, many annotated, help students cite sources in MLA and APA style — with special attention to new types of sources like podcasts, online videos, and blogs. • A new student argument essay models effective reasoning, use of evidence (including visual evidence), use of counter- argument, and proper MLA-style formatting. What’s the same? Comprehensive coverage of grammar, academic writing, and re- search.  A classroom tool and a reference, the handbook is designed to help students write well in any college course. This edition includes nearly one hundred exercise sets, many with an- swers in the back of the book, for plenty of practice. A brief menu and a user-friendly index.  Students will find help fast by consulting either the brief list of contents on the inside front cover or the user-friendly index, which works even for writ- ers who are unsure of grammar terminology. Citation at a glance.  Annotated visuals show students where to find the publication information they need to cite common types of sources in MLA and APA styles. 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 7 7/26/11 9:57 AM viii Preface for instructors Quick-access charts and an uncluttered design. The seventh edi- tion has what instructors and students have come to expect of a Hacker handbook: a clear and navigable presentation of informa- tion, with charts that summarize key content. What’s on the companion Web site? hackerhandbooks.com/rules Grammar, writing, and research exercises with feedback for every item.  More than 1,800 items offer students plenty of extra prac- tice, and our gradebook gives instructors flexibility in viewing students’ results. Annotated model papers in MLA, APA, Chicago, CSE, and USGS styles.  Student writers can see formatting conventions and ef- fective writing in traditional college essays and in other common genres: annotated bibliographies, literature reviews, lab reports, business proposals, and clinical documents. Research and Documentation Online.  This award-winning re- source, written by a college librarian, gives students a jump start with research in over thirty academic disciplines. Resources for writers and tutors.  Checklists, hints, tips, and helpsheets are available in downloadable format. Resources for ESL and multilingual writers.  Writers will find ad- vice and strategies for understanding college expectations and completing writing assignments. Also included are charts, exer- cises, activities, and an annotated student essay. Language Debates.  Twenty-two brief essays provide opportuni- ties for critical thinking about grammar and usage issues. Access to premium content.  The print handbook can be pack- aged with premium content: The Rules for Writers e-Book, a series of online video tutorials, and a collection of resources that in- cludes games and ­activities. The activation code for premium con- tent is free when packaged with a new copy of Rules for Writers. Supplements for instructors Practical Teaching with Hacker Handbooks: Topics, Strategies, and Lesson Plans Rules for Writers instructor resources (at hackerhandbooks.com/ rules) 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 8 7/26/11 9:57 AM Preface for instructors ix Professional Teaching Composition: Background Readings The Bedford Guide for Writing Tutors, Fifth Edition The Bedford Bibliography for Teachers of Writing, Sixth Edition Supplements for students Print Developmental Exercises for Rules for Writers Working with Sources: Research Exercises for Rules for Writers Research and Documentation in the Electronic Age, Fifth Edition Resources for Multilingual Writers and ESL Writing in the Disciplines: Advice and Models Strategies for Online Learners Writing about Literature Online Rules for Writers e-Book CompClass for Rules for Writers Acknowledgments I am grateful for the expertise, enthusiasm, and classroom expe- rience that so many individuals brought to the seventh edition. Reviewers Martha R. Bachman, Camden County College; Thomas P. ­Barrett, Ocean County College; Suzanne Biedenbach, Univer- sity of Memphis; Sally Ann Boccippio, Ocean County College; Jennifer Costello Brezina, College of the Canyons; Mary ­Carney, Gainesville State College; Jia-Yi Cheng-Levine, College of the Canyons; Malkiel Choseed, Onondaga Community College; Amy Cruickshank, Cuyahoga Community College; Catherine P. Dice, ­University of Memphis; Marylynne Diggs, Clark Col- lege; Shawn M. Dowiak, Ramapo College of New Jersey; Crystal ­Edmonds, Robeson Community College; Don Erskine, Clark College; Rima S. Gulshan, Northern Virginia Community College; Eunice Hargett, Broward College; Anne Helms, Alamance Com- munity College; David Hennessy, Broward College; Paula Hester, 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 9 7/26/11 9:57 AM x Preface for instructors Indian Hills Community College; Matthew Horton, Gainesville State College; Kristen Iversen, University of Memphis; Laura Jef- fries, Florida State College at Jacksonville; Robert Johnson, Mid- western State University; Joseph Jones, University of Memphis; Grace Kessler, California State University–San Marcos; Monique Kluczykowski, Gainesville State College; Michael Kula, Carroll University; M. Douglas Lamborne, Lord Fairfax Community Col- lege; Lisa Lopez Levers, Duquesne University; Ben Levy, ­Ramapo College of New Jersey; Michael Levy, University of ­Wisconsin– Stout; Susan P. Livermore, Millersville University; Dolores Mac- Naughton, Umpqua Community College; Heidi Marshall, Florida State College at Jacksonville; Christopher Minnix, University of Arizona; Miriam P. Moore, Lord Fairfax Community Col- lege; Andrea Muldoon, University of Wisconsin–Stout; Meena Nayak, Northern Virginia Community College; D. Erik Nielson, Northern Virginia Community College; Wendy Perkins, Prince George’s Community College; Linda Y. Peters, Onondaga Com- munity College; Lynn M. Peterson, Carroll University; James P. Purdy, Duquesne University; Richard W. Rawnsley, College of the Desert; Stacy Rice, Northern Virginia Community College; Susan Roberts, United States Coast Guard Academy; Aline Car- ole Rogalski, Ocean County College; Marsha A. Rutter, South- western College; Tristan Saldaña, College of Marin; Jennifer P. Schaefer, Lord Fairfax Community College; Arthur L. Schuhart, Northern Virginia Community College–Annandale; Frances Shapiro-Skrobe, Ramapo College of New Jersey; Tracey She- rard, College of the Canyons; Katherine P. Simpson, Lord Fair- fax Community College; Charles Smires, Florida State College at Jacksonville; Cheri Spiegel, Northern Virginia Community College; Jack R. Tapleshay, College of the Desert; Debra Thomas, Harrisburg Area Community College; Anita Turlington, Gaines- ville State College; and Michelle Wagner, Broward College. Contributors I am grateful to the following individuals, fellow teachers of writing, for their smart contributions to key content: Joe Bizup, Boston University, updated the coverage of writing about literature with fresh selections and relevant advice; and Marcy Carbajal Van Horn, ESL specialist, experienced composition instructor, and former online writing lab director, served as lead author for Teaching with Hacker Handbooks and improved our coverage for multilingual writers both in the handbook and on the compan- ion Web site. 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 10 7/26/11 9:57 AM Preface for instructors xi Student contributors A number of bright and willing students helped identify which ­instructor comments provide the best guidance for revision. From Green River Community College: Kyle Baskin, Josué ­Cardona, Emily Dore, Anthony Hines, Stephanie Humphries, Joshua Kin, Jessica Llapitan, James Mitchell, Derek Pegram, Charlie Piehler, Lindsay Allison Rae Richards, Kristen Saladis, Jacob Simpson, Christina Starkey, Ariana Stone, and Joseph Vreeburg. From Northern Kentucky University: Sarah Freidhoff, Marisa Hempel, Sarah Laughlin, Sean Moran, Laren Reis, and Carissa Spencer. From Palm Beach Community College: Alexis Day, Shawn Gib- bons, Zachary Jennison, Jean Lacz, Neshia Neal, Sarah Reich, Jude Rene, and Sam Smith. And from the University of Maine at Farmington: Nicole Carr, Hannah Courtright, Timothy Doyle, Janelle Gallant, Amy Hobson, Shawn Menard, Jada Molton, Jordan Nicholas, Nicole Phillips, Tessa Rockwood, Emily Rose, Nicholas Tranten, and Ashley Wyman. I also thank the students who have let us use and adapt their papers as models in the hand- book and on its companion Web site: Ned Bishop, Lucy Bonilla, Jamal Hammond, Sam Jacobs, Albert Lee, Luisa Mirano, Anna Orlov, Emilia Sanchez, and Matt Watson. Bedford/St. Martin’s A handbook is truly a collaborative writing project, and it is a pleasure to acknowledge and thank the enormously talented Bedford/St. Martin’s editorial team, whose deep commitment to students informs each new feature of Rules for Writers. Joan Fein- berg, Bedford’s president and Diana Hacker’s first editor, offers her superb judgment on every aspect of the book. Joan’s graceful and generous leadership, both within Bedford and in the national composition community, is a never-ending source of inspiration for those who work closely with her. Michelle Clark, executive editor, is the kind of editor every author dreams of having — a treasured friend and colleague — and an endless source of cre- ativity and joy. Michelle combines wisdom with patience, imagi- nation with practicality, and hard work with good cheer. Mara Weible, senior editor, brings to the seventh edition her teacher’s sensibility and editor’s unerring eye, shaping the innovative re- search coverage and new synthesis section and contributing wonderful ideas to strengthen the seventh edition’s new features on academic writing and research. Barbara Flanagan, senior edi- tor, who has worked on Diana Hacker’s handbooks for more than 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 11 7/26/11 9:57 AM xii Preface for instructors twenty-five years, brings her unrelenting insistence on clarity and precision as well as her expertise in documentation. Thanks to Kylie Paul, editorial assistant, for expertly managing the review process, preparing documents, and managing many small details related to both our Web and print projects. The passionate commitment to Rules for Writers of many Bedford colleagues — Denise Wydra, editorial director; Karen Henry, editor in chief; and Marjorie Adler, marketing man- ager — ensures that the seventh edition remains the most in- novative and practical handbook on the market. Special thanks go to Jimmy Fleming, senior English specialist, for his abundant contributions, always wise and judicious, and for his enthusiasm and support as we traveled to colleges near and far. Many thanks to Rosemary Jaffe, senior production editor, who kept us on schedule and efficiently and gracefully turned a manuscript into a handbook. And thanks to Linda McLatchie, copyeditor, for her thoroughness and attention to detail; to Claire Seng-Niemoeller, text designer, who always has clarity and ease of use in mind as she designs Rules for Writers; to Marine Miller, cover designer, who has given the book a strikingly beautiful cover; and to Sarah Ferguson, new media editor, who developed the book’s compan- ion Web site and e-book. Most important, I want to thank Diana Hacker. She cared enough to study her own students at Prince George’s Commu- nity College, puzzling out their challenges and their needs and observing their practices. I’m honored to acknowledge her work, her legacy, and her innovative spirit — and pleased to continue in the tradition of this brilliant teacher and writer. Last, but never least, I offer thanks to Maxine Rodburg, Laura Saltz, and Kerry Walk, friends and colleagues, for sus- taining conversations about teaching writing. And I thank my family: Joshua, an attentive reader of life and literature, for his steadfastness across the drafts; Sam and Kate, for lively conversa- tions about writing; Louise, Walter, Ron, and Charles Mary, for their wit and wisdom; and Rachel and Alexandra, whose good- natured and humorous observations about their real lives as col- lege writers are a constant source of instruction and inspiration. 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 12 7/26/11 9:57 AM How to use this book and its companion Web site Though it is small enough to hold in your hand, Rules for ­Writers will answer most of the questions you are likely to ask as you plan, draft, and revise a piece of writing: How do I choose and narrow a topic? How do I know when to begin a new paragraph? Should I write each was or each were? When should I place a comma before and? What is counterargument? What is the difference between accept and except? How do I cite a source from the Web? The book’s companion Web site extends the book beyond its covers. See page xvii for details. How to find information with an instructor’s help When you are revising an essay that your instructor has marked, tracking down information is simple. If your instructor indicates problems with a number such as 16 or a number and letter such as 12e, you can turn directly to the appropriate section of the handbook. Just flip through the tabs at the top of the pages until you find the number in question. If your instructor uses an abbreviation such as w or dm in- stead of a number, consult the list of abbreviations and revision symbols on the next-to-last page of the book. There you will find the name of the problem (wordy; dangling modifier) and the number of the section to consult. See the following page for an example. xiii 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 13 7/26/11 9:57 AM xiv How to use this book and its companion Web site Revision Symbols Boldface numbers refer to sections of the handbook. abbr faulty abbreviation 40 p error in punctuation Lund 3 adj/adv misuse of adjective or ^, comma 32 adverb 26 no , the no comma 33 other snowmobiles” (Johnson 7). Whether such noise ad- add add needed word 10 ; versely semicolon 34 affects the park’s wildlife remains a debated question, agr faulty agreement 21, 22 : but colon appr 35 the possibility exists. Smart use of ent inappropriate language 17 v’ apostrophe 36 counterargum art article (a, an, the ) 29 Some who favor keeping the park open to snowmobiles awk awkward “ ” quotation marks . ? argue 37 period, question mark, that newer, four-stroke machines cause less air and noise ! 12e cap capital letter 45 exclamation point pollution 38 While this is true, the new ma- than older models. case error in case 24, 25 — ( ) dash, parentheses, [ ] . . . brackets, ellipsis mark, chines still pollute more than cars, and their decibel level is cliché cliché 18e reduced only39slightly (“Snowmobile” B25). Also, because the coh coherence 4d / slash newer snowmobiles cost at least $3,000 more than the older coord faulty coordination 14a ¶ new paragraph 4e cs comma splice 20 pass ones, it is unlikely 8that individuals would choose to buy them ineffective passive . dev inadequate pn agr orpronoun agreement that rental companies 22 could afford to upgrade. At present development 4b, 6e proof there proofreading problem 3c are no strict guarantees that only the newer models dm ref woulderror in pronoun dangling modifier 12e dm be allowed into the park. reference 23 -ed error in -ed ending 27d Like most federal run-on run-on sentence 20 agencies, budget constraints face the emph emphasis 14 -s National Park error in -s Service. ending 27c,Funds 21 that should be used to preserve ESL English as a second sexist Yellowstone sexist language 17e, 22a National Park and its wildlife have been language 28–31 shift diverted distracting shift 13 the snowmobile issue. A single environ- exact inexact language 18 to deal with sl slang 17c frag sentence fragment 19 mental impact study of the problem cost taxpayers nearly sp misspelled word 43 fs fused sentence 20 sub $250,000 in early 2002 faulty subordination (Greater Yellowstone Coalition), and 14a gl/us see Glossary of Usage Glossary of Usage sv agr the park service estimates that implementing the new subject-verb agreement w plan hyph error in use of hyphen 44 21, 27c would cost $1 million dollars (“Snowmobile” B25). Also, park t 12e idiom idioms 18dRepair dangling error in verb tense 27f modifi ers. rangers are spending an increasing amount of their valuable inc incomplete construction 10 trans transition needed 4d irreg error in irregular verb A dangling modifi usage 27a er fails time to refer policing snowmobilers. In 2002, park rangers issued 338 see Glossary of Usage logically to any word in the sen- ital v citations voice 8afor illegal snowmobiling activity, twice as many as in tence. italics 42 Dangling modifiers var are easy to repair, but they lack of variety in sentence can be hard jarg 2001, in addition to hundreds of warnings (Greater Yellowstone to recognize, jargon 17a especially in your own writing. structure 14, 15 lc lowercase letter 45 Coalition). Although most snowmobilers remain law-abiding, a vb verb problem 27, 28 mix mixed construction 11 w disturbing number of joyriders violate speed limits, stray from wordy 16 mm misplaced modifier 12a–d // marked trails, and pursue faulty parallelism 9 animals for the thrill of the chase. mood error in mood 27g ^ insert nonst nonstandard usage 17c, 27 x obvious error num error in use of numbers 41 # insert space om omitted word 10, 30b close up space How to find information on your own ( ) ▶ This handbook is designed to allow you to find information with- out an instructor’s help — usually by consulting the brief menu inside the front cover. At times, you may consult the detailed menu inside the back cover, the index, the glossary of usage, the list of revision ▶ symbols, or one of the directories to documenta- tion models. The brief menu. The brief menu inside the front cover displays the book’s contents. Let’s say that you want to find out how you can write with more active verbs. Your first step is to scan the menu for the appropriate numbered topic — in this case “8 Active Verbs.” Then you can use the blue tabs at the top of the pages to find section 8. 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 14 7/26/11 9:57 AM How to use this book and its companion Web site xv Brief Menu How to use this book and its companion Web site xvi active The Writing Process 1 112 8 Active verbs 1 Exploring and planning planning 2 2 Drafting the paper 23 3 Making global revisions; then revising sentences revisions; then revising sentences 35 4 Building effective paragraphs Academic Writing 69 paragraphs 50 8 Prefer active verbs. 5 Writing about texts 70 reasonableAs 6 Constructing reasonable arguments a rule, choose arguments 84 an active verb and pair it with a subject that 7 Evaluating arguments arguments 102 names the person or thing 27 Verb doingforms, thetense, action. Active36 verbs express v’ The apostrophe Clarity 111 meaning more emphatically moodand vb 232 vigorously than their 321 weaker counterparts — forms of atheirregular verb beverbs or verbs in the passive voice.nouns a possessive 8 Active verbs 112 b lie and lay b indefinite pronouns 9 Parallel ideas 116 PASSIVE The pumpscwere -s (ordestroyed by a surge of power. -es) endings c contractions 10 Needed words 119 d -ed endings plurals of of numbers, constructions 123 BE VERB 11 Mixed constructions A surge of power was responsible for the d destruction letters, etc. e omitted verbs 12 Misplaced and dangling modifiers dangling modifiers 127 the pumps. e misuses f tense 13 Shifts 135 ACTIVE A surge of power g mood destroyed the pumps.37 Quotation marks 14 Emphasis 141 “ ” 326 15 Variety 152 Verbs in the passive Multilingual/eSl voice lack strength251 because their subjects a direct quotations 16 Wordy sentences 156 receive the action instead of doing it. Forms of thebverb be (be,within a quotation 28 Verbs ESL 251 quotation 17 Appropriate language 161 am, is, are, was, were, being, been) lack vigor because they convey The detailed The detailed menu appears inside the back menu. 171 18 Exact words no action. 29 Articles; types of c titles of short nouns ESL 267 works cover. When the numbered section you’re looking for is broken Grammar 179 Although passive verbs and the forms of be have 30 Structure ESL 277 legitimate d words as words uses, choose an active up into quite a few lettered subsections, try consulting this menu. verb if it can carry your meaning. Even and — and therefore other with 19 Sentence fragments 180 31 Prepositions e 20 Run-on sentences 188among active verbs, some are more active more marks punctuation For instance, if you have a question vigorous and colorful 2 1 Subject-verb agreement (is or are, etc.) ^ idioms, ESL 286 196 — than others. Carefully selected verbs can f misuses 32b about the proper use of commas after 293 joining ideas • with and, but, etc. • introductory words energize a piece of writing. 22 Pronoun-antecedent agreement (singular or plural) 207 Punctuation 291 38 End punctuation 333 a period . introductory elements, this menu will 23 Pronoun reference (clarity) 212 ▶ A good money manager controls 24 Pronoun case (I and me, etc.) ▶ Th217 expenses/, and Theswept 32invests surplus ^ comma , 292 hooked b question mark ? e goalie crouched low, reached out his stick, and sent the quickly lead you to section 32b. 25 who and whom 223 dollars to meet future needs. a with and, but, ^etc. ^c exclamation 26 Adjectives and adverbs 226rebound away from the mouth of the net. point ! The word group following and is not an independent clause; 27 Standard English verb forms, tenses, and moods b232introductory it is the 39 Other punctuation ders. Without it, sentence parts second half of a compound predicate (controls . . . and invests). elements marks 335 Multilingual Writers and ESL Challenges 251 c series ctedly, causing misreadings. a dash — d coordinate 28 Verbs 252 Academic English Although you may be tempted to avoid adjectives the pas- b parentheses () will do the dishes. Rule 32b Use a comma after 29 Articles (a, an, the) and types of nouns an introductory sive voice completely, 267 keepclause in mind that some writing situations call [ ] c brackets e nonrestrictive for it, especially scientific writing. For appropriate uses ofdtheellipsis pas- mark . . . ng a rattlesnake approached our or phrase. 30 Sentence structure 277 elements 3 1 Prepositions and idiomatic expressions sive voice, see 286page 113; for advice about forming the passive voice,/ e slash The most common introductory word47c. groups are transitions, f clauses and etc. see 28b and Punctuation phrases 291functioning as adverbs. Such word groups g direct usuallyaddress, tell s (after cook and eating), and when, where, yes and no, etc. Mechanics 341 is Elmer being cooked, the 32 The comma 292how, why, or under what conditions the main action Explanation 33 Unnecessary commas of the sentence occurred. h he said, etc. 308(See 48a, 48b, and 48e.) 40 Abbreviations prevent such misreadings and A comma314 tells readers that the introductory clause i dates, addresses, or phrase abbr 342 34 The semicolon mplex grammatical structures. has come 35 The colon 319 to a close 8a and Use that the the main active part of voice the titles, unless sentence numbers is you have a good 41 Numbers num 345 on. (Section 33 explains when about to begin. reason for choosingj the to prevent passive. confusion 42 Italics ital 347 33 Unnecessary 43 Spelling sp 350 ▶ When Irwin was ready In theto iron , his catvoice, active trippedthe subject on the cord. does the action; in the passive ^ commas no , 308 44 The hyphen hyph voice, the subject receives the action (see also 47c). 358Although 34 The semicolon ; 314 Without the comma, readers may have Irwin ironing his cat. The coordinating conjunction Examples comma signals that both his cat isvoices the are subject of grammatically a new clause, not part correct, of independent the the active voice is usually introductory one. more effective because it is clearer and more direct. Capitalization cap a 45 s. clauses 362 ▶ Near a small stream at the bottom of the canyon,bthewith parktransitional n connects two or more in- ^ expressions Grammar Basics 367 s that could stand alone as rangers discovered an abandoned mine. c series ust precede it. There are seven d misuses 46 Parts of speech The comma tells readers that the introductory prepositional phrase has basic 368 lish: and, but, or, nor, for, so, come to 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd a close. 35 The colon : 319 112-113 a with list, 47 Sentence patterns independent clause has come appositive, basic 381 EXCEPTION: The comma may be omitted after a short adverb to begin. clause or phrase if there is no danger of misreading. quotation, 48 Subordinate word summary groups basic 389 inar on college survival In no time we were at 2,800 feet. b conventional uses 49 Sentence types c misuses basic 398 cue for new students. Sentences also frequently begin with participial phrases de- scribing the noun or pronoun immediately following them. The comma tells readers that they are about to learn the identity of t clauses are short 00_7813_FM_Tabbed and there is the person with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 15 or thing described; therefore, the comma is usually 7/26/11 9:57 AM ma may be omitted. required even when the phrase is short. (See 48b.) xvi How to use this book and its companion Web site Once you find the right lettered subsection, you will see three kinds of advice to help you edit your writing — a rule, an explanation, and one or more hand-edited examples. The index. If you aren’t sure which topic to choose from one of the menus, consult the index at the back of the book. For ex- ample, you may not realize that the issue of whether to use have or has is a matter of subject-verb agreement (section 21). In that case, simply look up “has vs. have” in the index. You will be di- rected to specific pages in two sections covering subject-verb agreement. Making the most of your handbook. You Making the most of will find your way to helpful advice by your handbook usingDirectory the index, to MLAthe menus, in-text citationor the con- Integrating models visuals can strengthen your writing. tents. Once you Basic rules for print get to where you need ▶ 14. Multivolume work, 486 Choosing appropriate to be, you may also find references and online sources to 15. Entire work, 486 visuals: page 407 16. ▶ Placing and labeling Selection in an anthology, additional related advice and486models. 1. Author named in a signal phrase, 480 visuals: page 407 These2. boxes helpin you pull together Author named what ▶ Using visuals 17. Government document, 486 parentheses, 481 you 3.need Authorfrom unknown,the481 handbook for each 18. Historical document, 487 responsibly: page 408 19. Legal source, 487 assignment. 4. Page 482 number unknown, 20. Visual such as a photograph, 5. One-page source, 482 map, or chart, 487 The glossary of usage. When21.inE-mail, doubtletter,about the correct use of a or personal interview, 488 particular word (such as affect Variations on the basic rules 22. and efforect), Web site other consult electronic the glossary of 6. Two or three authors, 483 usage7. at the Four back or more of the authors, 483 book. This glossary explains the differ- source, 488 23. Indirect source (source ence 8.9.between commonly Organization as author, 483 Authors with the same last confused quotedwords; in another it also includes words source), that arename, inappropriate 484 in formal Directory written 488 to APA in-text English. citation models 10. Two or more works by the Literary works and sacred texts to documentation 11. Two or more works in one 551 models. When same author, 4841. Basic format for a quotation, Directories 8. Authors you 24. Literary work without with theare parts554 name, or docu- same last menting a research citation, 485 paper 2. Basic with format MLA for a line or 489 numbers, summary or APA 9. Twostyle, or moreyou works can by thefind 25. 552 Verse play or poem, same 489 author in the same year, documentation models 12. Repeated citations from same source, 485 the by a paraphrase, 3. Work with consulting two26. Novel 552 authors, the554appropriate with numbered color- coded 13. directories. entry, 485 4. Work with three todivisions, Encyclopedia or dictionary authors, 552 27. five Sacred 489 10. Two or more works in the text, 490 same parentheses, 554 5. Work with six or more 11. Personal communication, 554 authors, 553 12. Electronic source, 554 6. Work with unknown author, 13. Indirect source, 555 553 Directory to MLA works cited models 14. Sacred or classical text, 7. Organization as author, 553 556 Listing authors (print 11. Abstract of a journal article, and online) 496 1. Single author, 491 12. Article with a title in its title, 2. Two or three authors, 491 496 13. Editorial or other unsigned Directory 3. Four or more authors, 492 to APA reference list models 4. Organization as author, 492 article, 496 5. Unknown author, General 492 guidelines 14.for Letter to the editor, listing 19. 496 Book with an author and an 6. Two or more works authors 15. Review, 496 (print and online) by the editor, 562 same author, 4931. Single author, 557 20. Book with an author and a Books 2. Multiple authors, 557(print) translator, 563 Articles in periodicals (print) 3. Organization as 21. Edition other than the first, 563 MLA, page 458 16.author, 558 Basic format for a book, 497 4. Unknown author, 22. Article or chapter in an edited 7. Article in a journal 17. 558 Book with an author and an 5. Two book or an anthology, 563 (paginated by volume or or more works by the editor, 497 same author, 558 23. Multivolume work, 563 by issue), 494 18. Book with an author and a 8. Article in a monthly6. Two or more works magazine, by the 498 24. Introduction, preface, translator, same author in theBook samewith year, foreword, or afterword, 563 494 19. an editor, 498 25. Dictionary or other reference 9. Article in APA, page a weekly 534 558 magazine, 20. Graphic narrative or work, 565 494 illustrated book, 498 Articles in periodicals (print) 10. Article in a daily newspaper, 26. Article in a reference work, 565 21. Book with an author using a 7. Article in a journal,pseudonym, 559 27. Republished book, 565 494 498 8. Article in a magazine, 559 28. Book with a title in its title, 565 9. Article in a newspaper, 559 29. Sacred or classical text, 565 458 10. Article with three to seven authors, 559 Online sources 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd11.16Article with eight or more 30. Article in an online journal, 566 7/26/11 9:57 AM authors, 561 31. Article in an online magazine, How to use this book and its companion Web site xvii Answers to exercises.  Rules for Writers is designed to help you learn from it on your own. By providing answers to some exercise sentences, it allows you to test your understanding of the material. Most exercise sets begin with five sentences lettered a through e and conclude with five or ten numbered sentences. Answers to let- tered sentences appear at the back of the book. Using the book’s companion Web site: hackerhandbooks.com/rules Throughout Rules for Writers, Seventh Edition, you will see refer- ences to exercises and model papers on the book’s companion Web site. Here is a complete list of resources on the site. Your instructor may use some of this material in class; each area of the site, however, has been developed for you to use on your own whenever you need it. • Writing exercises  Interactive exercises, including feedback for every answer, on topics such as choosing a thesis statement and conducting peer review • Grammar exercises  Interactive exercises on grammar, style, and punctuation, including feedback for every ­answer • Research exercises  Interactive exercises, including feedback for every answer, on topics such as integrating quotations and documenting sources in MLA and APA styles • Model papers  Annotated sample papers in MLA, APA, ­Chicago, CSE, and USGS styles • Multilingual/ESL help  Resources, strategies, model papers, and exercises to help multilingual speakers improve their college writing skills • Research and Documentation Online  Advice on finding sources in a variety of academic disciplines and up-to-date guidelines for documenting print and online sources in MLA, APA, Chicago, and CSE styles • Resources for writers and tutors  Revision checklists and helpsheets for common writing problems • Language Debates  Mini-essays exploring controversial ­issues of grammar and usage, such as split infinitives • Additional resources  Print-format versions of the book’s exercises and links to additional online resources for every part of the book 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 17 7/26/11 9:57 AM xviii How to use this book and its companion Web site • Re:Writing  A free collection of resources for composition and other college classes: help with preparing presentation slides, avoiding plagiarism, evaluating online sources, and more • Tutorials  Interactive resources that teach essential college skills such as integrating sources in a research paper and revising with peer comments (This area of the Web site ­requires an activation code.) 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 18 7/26/11 9:57 AM Contents Preface for instructors  v How to use this book and its companion Web site  xiii The Writing Process  1 1 Explore ideas; then sketch a plan.  2 a Assessing the writing situation  2 b Exploring your subject  13 c Drafting a working thesis  18 d Sketching a plan  19 2 Draft the paper.  23 a Drafting an introduction that includes a thesis  23 b Drafting the body  32 c Drafting a conclusion  32 3 Make global revisions; then revise sentences.  35 a Making global revisions: Thinking big  36 b Revising and editing sentences  37 c Proofreading the manuscript  39 d Using software tools wisely  39 e Managing your files  40 f Student essay  41 4 Build effective paragraphs.  50 a Focusing on a main point  50 b Developing the main point  54 c Choosing a suitable pattern of organization  54 d Making paragraphs coherent  61 e Adjusting paragraph length  66 xix 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 19 7/26/11 9:57 AM xx Contents Academic Writing  69 5 Writing about texts  70 a Reading actively: Annotating the text  70 SAMPLE ANNOTATED ARTICLE  72 SAMPLE ANNOTATED ADVERTISEMENT  73 b Sketching an outline  74 c Summarizing to demonstrate understanding  76 d Analyzing to demonstrate critical thinking  77 e Sample student essay: Analysis of an article  79 SAMPLE ANALYSIS OF AN ARTICLE  80 6 Constructing reasonable arguments  84 a Examining your issue’s social and intellectual contexts  85 b Viewing your audience as a panel of jurors  86 c Establishing credibility and stating your position  86 d Backing up your thesis with persuasive lines of argument  87 e Supporting your claims with specific evidence  88 f Anticipating objections; countering opposing arguments  93 g Building common ground  93 h Sample argument paper  95 SAMPLE ARGUMENT paper  96 7 Evaluating arguments  102 a Distinguishing between reasonable and fallacious argumentative tactics  102 b Distinguishing between legitimate and unfair emotional appeals  108 c Judging how fairly a writer handles opposing views  109 Clarity  111 8 Prefer active verbs.  112 a Active versus passive verbs  112 b Active versus be verbs  114 c Subject that names the actor  114 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 20 7/26/11 9:58 AM Contents xxi 9 Balance parallel ideas.  116 a Parallel ideas in a series  116 b Parallel ideas presented as pairs  117 c Repetition of function words  118 10 Add needed words.  119 a In compound structures  120 b that  121 c In comparisons  121 d a, an, and the  122 11 Untangle mixed constructions.  123 a Mixed grammar  124 b Illogical connections  125 c is when, is where, and reason . . . is because  126 12 Repair misplaced and dangling modifiers.  127 a Limiting modifiers  127 b Misplaced phrases and clauses  128 c Awkwardly placed modifiers  129 d Split infinitives  130 e Dangling modifiers  131 13 Eliminate distracting shifts.  135 a Point of view (person, number)  135 b Verb tense  136 c Verb mood, voice  137 d Indirect to direct questions or quotations  138 14 Emphasize key ideas.  141 a Coordination and subordination  141 b Choppy sentences  145 c Ineffective or excessive coordination  147 d Ineffective subordination  149 e Excessive subordination  150 f Other techniques  151 15 Provide some variety.  152 a Sentence openings  152 b Sentence structures  153 c Inverted order  154 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 21 7/26/11 9:58 AM xxii Contents 16 Tighten wordy sentences.  156 a Redundancies  156 b Unnecessary repetition  157 c Empty or inflated phrases  157 d Simplifying the structure  158 e Reducing clauses to phrases, phrases to single words  159 17 Choose appropriate language.  161 a Jargon  161 b Pretentious language, euphemisms, “doublespeak”  162 c Slang, regional expressions, nonstandard English  165 d Levels of formality  166 e Sexist language  167 f Offensive language  170 18 Find the exact words.  171 a Connotations  171 b Specific, concrete nouns  172 c Misused words  173 d Standard idioms  174 e Clichés  175 f Figures of speech  177 Grammar  179 19 Repair sentence fragments.  180 a Subordinate clauses  182 b Phrases  183 c Other fragmented word groups  184 d Acceptable fragments  186 20 Revise run-on sentences.  188 a Correction with coordinating conjunction  191 b Correction with semicolon, colon, or dash  191 c Correction by separating sentences  192 d Correction by restructuring  193 21 Make subjects and verbs agree.  196 a Standard subject-verb combinations  196 b Words between subject and verb  196 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 22 7/26/11 9:58 AM Contents xxiii c Subjects joined with and  197 d Subjects joined with or, nor, either . . . or, or neither . . . nor  200 e Indefinite pronouns  200 f Collective nouns  201 g Subject following verb  203 h Subject, not subject complement  203 i who, which, and that  204 j Words with plural form, singular meaning  205 k Titles of works, company names, words mentioned as words, gerund phrases  205 22 Make pronouns and antecedents agree.  207 a Singular with singular, plural with plural (indefinite pronouns, generic nouns)  207 b Collective nouns  209 c Antecedents joined with and  211 d Antecedents joined with or, nor, either . . . or, or neither . . . nor  211 23 Make pronoun references clear.  212 a Ambiguous or remote reference  213 b Broad reference of this, that, which, and it  213 c Implied antecedents  214 d Indefinite use of they, it, and you  215 e who for persons, which or that for things  215 24 Distinguish between pronouns such as I and me.  217 a Subjective case for subjects and subject complements  218 b Objective case for objects  218 c Appositives  219 d Pronoun following than or as  220 e we or us before a noun  220 f Subjects and objects of infinitives  220 g Pronoun modifying a gerund  221 25 Distinguish between who and whom.  223 a In subordinate clauses  223 b In questions  224 c As subjects or objects of infinitives  225 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 23 7/26/11 9:58 AM xxiv Contents 26 Choose adjectives and adverbs with care.  226 a Adjectives to modify nouns  226 b Adverbs to modify verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs  228 c good and well, bad and badly  228 d Comparatives and superlatives  229 e Double negatives  231 27 Choose appropriate verb forms, tenses, and moods in standard English.  232 a Irregular verbs  233 b lie and lay  236 c -s (or -es) endings  238 d -ed endings  240 e Omitted verbs  242 f Verb tense  243 g Subjunctive mood  248 Multilingual Writers and ESL Challenges  251 28 Verbs  252 a Appropriate form and tense  252 b Passive voice  255 c Base form after a modal  258 d Negative verb forms  261 e Verbs in conditional sentences  261 f Verbs followed by gerunds or infinitives  264 29 Articles  267 a Articles and other noun markers  267 b When to use the  269 c When to use a or an  271 d When not to use a or an  273 e No articles with general nouns  274 f Articles with proper nouns  275 30 Sentence structure  277 a Linking verb between a subject and its complement  277 b A subject in every sentence  277 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 24 7/26/11 9:58 AM Contents xxv c Repeated nouns or pronouns with the same grammatical function  279 d Repeated objects, adverbs in adjective clauses  279 e Mixed constructions with although or because  281 f Placement of adverbs  282 g Present participles and past participles  283 h Order of cumulative adjectives  285 31 Prepositions and idiomatic expressions  286 a Prepositions showing time and place  286 b Noun (including -ing form) after a preposition  287 c Common adjective + preposition combinations  289 d Common verb + preposition combinations  289 Punctuation  291 32 The comma  292 a Independent clauses joined with and, but, etc.  292 b Introductory elements  293 c Items in a series  295 d Coordinate adjectives  296 e Nonrestrictive elements  298 f Transitions, parenthetical expressions, absolute phrases, contrasts  302 g Direct address, yes and no, interrogative tags, interjections  304 h he said etc.  305 i Dates, addresses, titles, numbers  305 j To prevent confusion  306 33 Unnecessary commas  308 a Between compound elements that are not independent clauses  308 b Between a verb and its subject or object  309 c Before the first or after the last item in a series  309 d Between cumulative adjectives, an adjective and a noun, or an adverb and an adjective  310 e Before and after restrictive or mildly parenthetical elements  310 f Before essential concluding adverbial elements  311 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 25 7/26/11 9:58 AM xxvi Contents g After a phrase beginning an inverted sentence  312 h Other misuses  312 34 The semicolon  314 a Between independent clauses not joined with a coordinating conjunction  314 b Between independent clauses linked with a transitional expression  315 c In a series containing internal punctuation  316 d Misuses  316 35 The colon  319 a Before a list, an appositive, or a quotation  319 b Conventional uses  319 c Misuses  320 36 The apostrophe  321 a Possessive nouns  321 b Possessive indefinite pronouns  322 c Contractions  323 d Not for plural numbers, letters, abbreviations, words mentioned as words  323 e Misuses  324 37 Quotation marks  326 a Direct quotations  326 b Quotation within a quotation  327 c Titles of short works  328 d Words as words  328 e With other punctuation marks  328 f Misuses  331 38 End punctuation  333 a The period  333 b The question mark  334 c The exclamation point  334 39 Other punctuation  335 a The dash  335 b Parentheses  336 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 26 7/26/11 9:58 AM Contents xxvii c Brackets  337 d The ellipsis mark  338 e The slash  339 Mechanics  341 40 Abbreviations  342 a Titles with proper names  342 b Familiar abbreviations  342 c Conventional abbreviations  343 d Latin abbreviations  343 e Inappropriate abbreviations  344 41 Numbers  345 a Spelling out  345 b Using numerals  346 42 Italics  347 a Title of works  347 b Names of ships, spacecraft, and aircraft  348 c Foreign words  348 d Words as words, letters as letters, numbers as numbers  349 43 Spelling  350 a Spelling rules  350 b The dictionary  352 c Words that sound alike  356 d Commonly misspelled words  356 44 The hyphen  358 a Compound words  358 b Hyphenated adjectives  359 c Fractions and compound numbers  359 d With certain prefixes and suffixes  360 e To avoid ambiguity or to separate awkward double or triple letters  360 f Division of words and electronic addresses  360 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 27 7/26/11 9:58 AM xxviii Contents 45 Capitalization  362 a Proper vs. common nouns  362 b Titles with proper names  363 c Titles and subtitles of works  363 d First word of a sentence  364 e First word of a quoted sentence  364 f First word after a colon  365 g Abbreviations  365 Grammar Basics  367 46 Parts of speech  368 a Nouns  368 b Pronouns  369 c Verbs  372 d Adjectives  374 e Adverbs  375 f Prepositions  376 g Conjunctions  376 h Interjections  377 47 Sentence patterns  381 a Subjects  381 b Verbs, objects, and complements  384 c Pattern variations  388 48 Subordinate word groups  389 a Prepositional phrases  390 b Verbal phrases  391 c Appositive phrases  394 d Absolute phrases  394 e Subordinate clauses  395 49 Sentence types  398 a Sentence structures  398 b Sentence purposes  400 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 28 7/26/11 9:58 AM Contents xxix Document Design  401 50 Principles of document design  402 a Selecting appropriate format options  402 b Using headings to guide readers  404 c Using lists to guide readers  406 d Adding visuals that support your purpose  407 51 Academic formatting  409 52 Business formatting  412 a Using established conventions for business letters  412 b Writing effective résumés and cover letters  412 c Writing clear and concise memos  415 d Writing effective e-mail messages  417 Research  419 53 Conducting research  420 a Posing questions worth exploring  421 b Mapping out a search strategy  423 c Searching a database or consulting a print index to locate articles  426 d Consulting the library’s catalog to locate books  430 e Using a variety of online tools to locate other sources  432 f Using other search tools  436 g Conducting field research  437 54 Evaluating sources  437 a Determining how a source might contribute to your writing  438 b Selecting sources worth your time and attention  438 c Selecting appropriate versions of online sources  442 d Reading with an open mind and a critical eye  442 e Assessing Web sources with special care  444 55 Managing information; avoiding plagiarism  448 a Maintaining a working bibliography  448 b Keeping track of source materials  449 c Avoiding unintentional plagiarism  451 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 29 7/26/11 9:58 AM xxx Contents Writing Papers in MLA Style  457 56 Supporting a thesis  460 a Forming a working thesis  460 b Organizing ideas with a rough outline  461 c Using sources to inform and support your argument  462 57 Citing sources; avoiding plagiarism  464 a Citing quotations and borrowed ideas  464 b Enclosing borrowed language in quotation marks  466 c Putting summaries and paraphrases in your own words  466 58 Integrating sources  469 a Using quotations appropriately  469 b Using signal phrases to integrate sources  473 c Synthesizing sources  477 59 Documenting sources in MLA style  479 a MLA in-text citations  480 b MLA list of works cited  490 c MLA information notes (optional)  523 60 MLA manuscript format; sample paper  523 a MLA manuscript format  524 b Sample MLA research paper  526 Writing Papers in APA Style  533 61 Supporting a thesis  536 a Forming a working thesis  536 b Organizing ideas  537 c Using sources to inform and support your argument  537 62 Citing sources; avoiding plagiarism  539 a Citing quotations and borrowed ideas  540 b Enclosing borrowed language in quotation marks  541 c Putting summaries and paraphrases in your own words  542 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 30 7/26/11 9:58 AM Contents xxxi 63 Integrating sources  543 a Using quotations appropriately  543 b Using signal phrases to integrate sources  546 c Synthesizing sources  549 64 Documenting sources in APA style  550 a APA in-text citations  551 b APA list of references  556 65 APA manuscript format; sample paper  578 a APA manuscript format  578 b Sample APA research paper  582 Writing about Literature   597 66 Reading to form an interpretation  597 a Reading actively  597 b Forming an interpretation  601 67 Planning the paper  603 a Drafting a thesis  603 b Sketching an outline  605 68 Writing the paper  606 a Drafting an introduction  606 b Supporting your interpretation; avoiding simple plot summary  607 69 Observing conventions  609 a Referring to authors, titles, and characters  609 b Using the present tense  610 c Using MLA style to format quotations  611 70 Integrating quotations from the work  611 a Distinguishing between the author and a narrator or speaker  612 b Providing context for quotations  613 c Avoiding shifts in tense  613 d Using brackets and the ellipsis mark to indicate changes in a quotation  614 e Enclosing embedded quotations in single quotation marks  615 f Using MLA style to cite passages from the work  615 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 31 7/26/11 9:58 AM xxxii Contents 71 Using secondary sources  619 a Documenting sources 619 b Avoiding plagiarism 620 72 Sample papers  622 An analysis of a poem  623 poem: “Ballad of the Landlord,” by Langston Hughes  627 An analysis of a short story (with secondary sources)  628 short story: “A Jury of Her Peers,” by Susan Glaspell  635 Glossary of usage  653 Answers to lettered exercises  667 Index  684 Other helpful resources 00_7813_FM_Tabbed with Lit_i-xxxii.indd 32 7/26/11 9:58 AM The Writing Process The Writing Process 01_7813_Tab1_T1a-T1b.indd 1 7/7/11 4:55 PM Pages 1–68 The Writing Process,  1 1 Exploring and planning, b Revising and editing 2 sentences, 37 a Assessing the writing c Proofreading the situation, 2 manuscript, 39 b Exploring your d Using software tools subject, 13 wisely, 39 c Drafting a working e Managing your files, 40 thesis, 18 f Student essay, 41 d Sketching a plan, 19 4 Building effective 2 Drafting the paper, 23 paragraphs, 50 a Drafting an introduction a Focusing on a main that includes a thesis, 23 point, 50 b Drafting the body, 32 b Developing the main c Drafting a conclusion, 32 point, 54 c Choosing a suitable pattern 3 Making global revisions; of organization, 54 then revising sentences, d Making paragraphs 35 coherent, 61 a Making global revisions: e Adjusting paragraph Thinking big, 36 length, 66 01_7813_Tab1_T1a-T1b.indd 2 7/7/11 4:55 PM The Writing Process 1 Exploring and planning, 2 2 Drafting the paper, 23 3 Making global revisions; then revising sentences, 35 STUDENT ESSAY, 46 4 Building effective paragraphs, 50 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 1 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 2 1 Exploring and planning Writing is a process of figuring out what you think, not a matter of recording already developed thoughts. Since it’s not possible to think about everything all at once, most experienced writers handle a piece of writing in stages. You will generally move from planning to drafting to revising, but be prepared to return to ear- lier stages as your ideas develop. 1 Explore ideas; then sketch a plan. Before attempting a first draft, spend some time generating ideas. Mull over your subject while listening to music or driving to work, jot down inspirations, and explore your insights with a willing listener. Ask yourself questions: What do you find puz- zling, striking, or interesting about your subject? What would you like to know more about? At this stage, you should be collect- ing information and experimenting with ways of focusing and organizing it to reach your readers. 1a Assess the writing situation. Begin by taking a look at your writing situation. The key elements of a writing situation include the following: • your subject • your purpose • your audience • the sources of information available to you • any constraints (length, document design, deadlines) It is likely that you will make final decisions about all of these matters later in the writing process — after a first draft, for example — but you can save yourself time by thinking about as many of them as possible in advance. For a quick checklist, see the chart on pages 3–4. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 2 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan writing situation 1a 3 Academic English What counts as good writing varies from culture to culture and even among groups within cultures. In some situations, you will need to become familiar with the writing styles — such as direct or indirect, personal or impersonal, plain or embellished — that are valued by the culture or discipline for which you are writing. checklist for assessing the writing situation Subject ●● Has the subject (or a range of possible subjects) been given to you, or are you free to choose your own? ●● What interests you about your subject? What questions would you like to explore? ●● Why is your subject worth writing about? How might readers benefit from reading about it? ●● Do you need to narrow your subject to a more specific topic (because of length restrictions, for instance)? Purpose and audience ●● Why are you writing: To inform readers? To persuade them? To call them to action? To entertain them? Some combination of these? ●● Who are your readers? How well informed are they about the subject? What do you want them to learn? ●● How interested and attentive are they likely to be? Will they resist any of your ideas? ●● What is your relationship to your readers: Student to instructor ? Employee to supervisor ? Citizen to citizen? Expert to novice? Sources of information ●● Where will your information come from: Reading? Personal experience? Research? Direct observation? Interviews? Questionnaires? ●● What documentation style is required: MLA? APA? 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 3 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 4 1a Exploring and planning checklist for assessing the writing situation (continued) Length and document design ●● Do you have any length specifications? If not, what length seems appropriate, given your subject, purpose, and audience? ●● Does the assignment call for a particular kind of paper: A report? A proposal? An essay? An analysis of data? A reflection? ●● Is a particular format required? If so, do you have guidelines to follow or examples to consult? ●● How might visuals — charts, graphs, tables, images — help you convey information? Reviewers and deadlines ●● Who will be reviewing your draft in progress: Your instructor? A writing center tutor ? Your classmates? A family member ? ●● What are your deadlines? How much time will you need to allow for the various stages of writing, including proofreading and printing the final draft? Subject Frequently your subject will be given to you. In a psychology class, for example, you might be asked to explain Bruno Bettelheim’s Freudian analysis of fairy tales. In a composition course, assign- ments often ask you to respond to readings. In the business world, your assignment might be to draft a marketing plan. When you are free to choose your own subject, it’s a good idea to focus on something you are genuinely curious about. If you are studying television, radio, and the Internet in a commu- nication course, for example, you might ask yourself which of these subjects inter- Making the most of ests you most. Perhaps you want to learn your handbook more about the role streaming video can Eff ective research writers often start by asking a play in activism and social change. Look question. through your readings and class notes to ▶ Posing questions for research: 53a see if you can identify questions you’d like to explore further in an essay. tHe WritinG center hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Resources for writers and tutors > Tips from writing tutors: Invention strategies 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 4 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan writing situation  •  subject  •  topic  •  focus  •  narrowing the subject 1a 5 Ways to narrow a subject to a topic Subdividing your subject by asking questions One way to subdivide a subject is to ask questions sparked by reading or by talking to your classmates. Subject teen pregnancy Question Why do Waterford and Troy, neighboring cities, have different rates of teen pregnancy? This question would give you a manageable topic for a short paper. Restricting your purpose Often you can restrict your purpose. You might realize on reflection that your initial goal — your draft purpose — is more than you could hope to accomplish in a brief paper. Subject teen pregnancy Draft purpose preventing teen pregnancy More limited showing how changing the health curriculum purpose for sixth graders results in lower rates of teen pregnancy Rethinking your purpose in this way would give you a manageable topic. Restricting your audience Consider writing for a particular audience. Subject teen pregnancy Audience general public More limited educators; school administrators audience Addressing a specific group with a special interest is a way to make your topic more manageable. Considering the information available to you Look at the information you have collected. If you have gathered a great deal of information on one aspect of your subject (birth control education) and less information on other aspects (counseling for expectant teen parents), you may have found your topic. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 5 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 6 1a Exploring and planning Make sure that you can reasonably investigate your subject in the space you have. If you are limited to a few pages, for ex- ample, you could not do justice to a subject as broad as “videos as agents of social change.” You could, however, focus on one as- pect of the subject — perhaps experts’ contradictory claims about the effectiveness of “narrowcasting,” or creating video content for small, specific audiences. The chart on page 5 suggests ways to narrow a subject to a manageable topic for a paper. Whether or not you choose your own subject, it’s important to be aware of the expectations of each writing situation. Purpose Your purpose will often be dictated by your writing situation. Per- haps you have been asked to draft a proposal requesting funding for a student organization, to report the results of a psychology ex- periment, or to write about the growing controversy surrounding genetically modified (GM) foods for the school newspaper. Even though your overall purpose is fairly obvious in such situations, a closer look at the assignment can help you make a variety of neces- sary decisions. How detailed should the proposal be? How techni- cal does your psychology professor expect your report to be? Do you want to inform students about the GM food controversy or change their attitudes toward it? In many writing situations, part of your challenge will be discovering a purpose. Asking yourself why readers should care about what you are saying can help you decide what your pur- pose might be. Perhaps your subject is magnet schools — schools that draw students from different neighborhoods because of fea- tures such as advanced science classes or a concentration on the arts. If you have discussed magnet schools in class, a description of how these schools work probably will not interest you or your readers. But maybe you have discovered that your county’s mag- net schools are not promoting diversity as had been planned and you want to call your readers to action. Or maybe you are inter- ested in comparing student performance at magnet schools and traditional schools. Although no precise guidelines will lead you to a purpose, you can begin by asking yourself which one or more of the fol- lowing aims you hope to accomplish. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 6 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan purpose  •  audience  •  readers 1a 7 PURPOSES FOR WRITING to inform to evaluate to persuade to recommend to entertain to request to call readers to action to propose to change attitudes to provoke thought to analyze to express feelings to argue to summarize Writers often misjudge their own purposes, summarizing when they should be analyzing, or expressing feelings about problems instead of proposing solutions. Before beginning any writing task, pause to ask, “Why am I communicating with my readers?” This question will lead you to another important ques- tion: “Just who are my readers?” Audience Audience analysis can often lead you to an effective strategy for reaching your readers. A writer whose purpose was to encourage college students to recycle more by broadening their ideas about recycling began by making some observations about her audi- ence (see p. 8). This analysis led the writer to appeal to her reader’s com- petitive nature — inviting college students to think about try- ing different kinds of recycling as achieving different levels in a video game. Her audience analysis also warned against adopting a preachy tone that her readers might find offensive. Instead of lecturing, she decided to draw examples from her own journey through the “levels” of being green — recycling paper products and plastic water bottles, carrying a refillable water bottle, biking to campus, buying used clothing, taking notes on a laptop, and so on. The result was an essay that reached its readers rather than alienating them. Of course, in some writing situations the audience will not be neatly defined for you. Nevertheless, the choices you make as you write will tell readers who you think they are (novices or ­experts, for example), so it is best to be consistent. For help with audience analysis, see the chart on pages 3–4. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 7 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 8 1a Exploring and planning auDience analYSiS Essay 1 audience analysis 09-16-10.doc - Microsoft Word File Edit View Insert Format Tools Table Window Help l | | | | | 1 | | | | | 2 | | | | | 3 | | | | | 4 | | | | Audience: first-year college students Finally on their own, many for the first time Don’t want to be lectured Busy, overwhelmed Looking for fast, easy, disposable Often play video games to relieve stress Familiar with concept of achieving “levels” in a “game” Academic audiences In college writing, considerations of audi- ence can be more complex than they seem at first. Your instructor will read your essay, of course, but most instructors play multiple roles while reading. Their first and most obvious roles are as coach and evaluator; but they are also intelligent and objective readers, the kind of people who might reasonably be informed, convinced, entertained, or called to action by what you have to say. Some instructors specify an audience, such as a hypothetical supervisor, readers of a local newspaper, or peers in a particular field. Other instructors expect you to imagine an audience appro- priate to your purpose and your subject. Still others prefer that you write for a general audience of educated readers — nonspecialists who can be expected to read with an intelligent, critical eye. Business audiences Writers in the business world often find themselves writing for multiple audiences. A letter to a client, for instance, might be distributed to sales representatives as well. Readers of a report might include persons with and without tech- nical expertise or readers who want details and those who prefer a quick overview. To satisfy the demands of multiple audiences, business writ- ers have developed a variety of strategies: attaching cover letters 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 8 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan audience  •  readers  •  e-mail etiquette 1a 9 to detailed reports, adding boldface headings, placing summaries of key ideas in the margin, and so on. Public audiences  Writers in communities often write for a spe- cific audience — the local school superintendent, a legislative representative, fellow members of a social group, readers of a local paper. With public writing, it is more likely that you are familiar with the views your readers hold and the assumptions they make, so you may be better able to judge how to engage those readers. If you are writing to a group of other parents to share ideas for lowering school bus transportation costs, for in- stance, you may have a good sense of whether to lead with a logi- cal analysis of other school-related fees or with a fiery criticism of key decision makers. Considering audience when writing e-mail messages In academic, business, and civic contexts, you will want to show readers that you value their time. Your e-mail message may be just one of many that your readers have to wade through. Here are some strategies for writing effective e-mails: ●● Use a meaningful, concise subject line to help readers sort messages and set priorities. ●● Put the most important part of your message at the beginning so that your reader sees it without scrolling. ●● Write concisely; keep paragraphs short. ●● For long, detailed messages, provide a summary at the beginning. ●● Avoid writing in all capital letters or all lowercase letters. ●● Proofread for typos and obvious errors that are likely to slow down readers. You will also want to follow conventions of good etiquette and avoid violating standards of academic integrity. Here are some strategies for writing responsible e-mails: ●● E-mail messages can easily be forwarded to others and reproduced. Do not write anything that you would not want attributed to you. ●● Do not forward another person’s message without asking his or her permission. ●● If you write an e-mail message that includes someone else’s words — opinions, statistics, song lyrics, and so forth — it’s best to let your reader know the source for that material and where any borrowed material begins and ends. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 9 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 10 1a Exploring and planning considering audience when writing e-mail messages (continued) ●● Choose your words carefully because e-mail messages can easily be misread. Without your voice, facial gestures, or body language, a message can be misunderstood. ●● Pay careful attention to tone; avoid writing anything that you wouldn’t be comfortable saying directly to a reader. Sources of information Where will your facts, details, and examples come from? Can you develop your topic from personal experience alone, or will you need to search for relevant information through reading, obser- vation, interviews, or questionnaires? Reading Reading is an important way to deepen your under- standing of a topic and expand your perspective. Reading will be your primary source of information for many college assign- ments, which will generally be of two kinds: (1) analytical essays that call for a close reading of one book, essay, literary work, or visual and (2) research assignments that ask you to find and con- sult a variety of sources on a topic. For an analytical essay, you will select details from the work to support an interpretation. You can often assume that your read- ers are familiar with the work and have a copy of it on hand, but be sure to provide enough context so that someone who doesn’t know the work well can still follow your interpretation. When you quote from the Making the most of your handbook work, page references are usually suffi- Academic writing often cient. When in doubt about the need for requires that you read critically and cite your documentation, ask your instructor. sources. For a research paper, you cannot as- ▶ Guidelines for active sume that your readers are familiar with ▶ reading: page 71 Analyzing an essay: 5d your sources. Therefore, you must docu- ▶ Quoting, paraphrasing, ment all quoted, summarized, or para- and summarizing sources: 55c phrased material. Personal experience If your interest in a subject stems from your personal experience, you will want to ask what it is about your experience that would interest your audience and why. For 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 10 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan exploring ideas  •  finding information  •  length  •  formats 1a 11 example, if you volunteered at a homeless shelter, you might have spent some time talking to homeless children and learning about their needs. Perhaps you can use your experience to broaden your readers’ understanding of the issues, to persuade an organi- zation to fund an after-school program for homeless children, or to propose changes in legislation. Observation  Observation is an excellent means of collecting information about a wide range of subjects, such as gender rela- tionships on a popular television program, the clichéd language of sports announcers, or the appeal of a local art museum. For such subjects, do not rely on your memory alone; your information will be fresher and more detailed if you actively collect it, with a note- book, laptop, or voice recorder in hand. Interviews and questionnaires  Interviews and questionnaires can supply detailed and interesting information on many sub- jects. A nursing student interested in the care of terminally ill patients might interview hospice nurses; a criminal justice major might speak with a local judge about alternative sentenc- ing for first offenders; a future teacher might conduct a sur- vey on the use of smart board technology in local elementary schools. It is a good idea to record interviews to preserve any lively quotations that you might want to weave into your essay. Circu- lating questionnaires by e-mail or on a Web site will facilitate re- sponses. Keep questions simple and specify a deadline to ensure that you get a reasonable number of replies. (See also 53g.) Length and document design Writers seldom have complete control over length. Journal- ists usually write within strict word limits set by their editors, businesspeople routinely aim for conciseness, and most college ­assignments specify an approximate length. Your writing situation may also require a certain document design. Specific formats are used in business for letters, memos, and reports. In the academic world, you may need to learn pre- cise conventions for lab reports, critiques, research papers, and so on. For most undergraduate essays, a standard format is ­acceptable (see 51). 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 11 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 12 1a Exploring and planning In some writing situations, you will be free to create your own design, complete with headings, displayed lists, and perhaps visuals such as charts and graphs. For a discussion of document design, see 50. Reviewers and deadlines Professional and business writers rarely work alone. They work with reviewers, often called editors, who offer advice throughout the writing process. In college classes, too, the use of reviewers is common. Some instructors play the role of reviewer for you; others may ask you to visit the writing center. Still others sched- ule peer review sessions in class or online. Such sessions give you a chance to hear what other students think about your draft in progress — and to play the role of reviewer yourself. Deadlines are a key element of any writing situation. They help you plan your time and map out what you can accomplish in that time. For complex writing projects, such as research papers, you’ll need to plan your time carefully. By working backward from the final deadline, you can create a schedule of target dates for com- pleting parts of the project. (See p. 420 for an example.) EXERCISE 1–1  Narrow three of the following subjects into topics that would be manageable for an essay of two to five pages. 1. Treatments for mental illness 2. An experience with racism or sexism 3. Handheld electronic devices in the classroom 4. Images of women in video games 5. Mandatory drug testing in the workplace EXERCISE 1–2  Suggest a purpose and an audience for three of the fol- lowing subjects. 1. Genetic modification of cash crop foods 2. Government housing for military veterans 3. The future of online advertising 4. Working with special needs children 5. Hybrid cars PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  The writing process  >  1–3 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 12 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan reviewers  •  deadlines  •  exploring  •  talking  •  listening 1b 13 1b  Experiment with ways to explore your subject. Instead of just plunging into a first draft, experiment with one or more techniques for exploring your subject, perhaps one of these: • talking and listening • reading and annotating texts • listing • clustering • freewriting • asking questions • keeping a journal • blogging Whatever technique you turn to, the goal is the same: to generate ideas that will lead you to a question, a problem, or a topic that you want to explore. At this early stage of the writing process, don’t censor yourself. Sometimes an idea that initially seems trivial or far-fetched will turn out to be worthwhile. Talking and listening Because writing is a process of figuring out what you think about a subject, it can be useful to try out your ideas on other people. Conversation can deepen and refine your ideas before you even begin to set them down on paper. By talking and listening to oth- ers, you can also discover what they find interesting, what they are curious about, and where they disagree with you. If you are planning to advance an argument, you can try it out on listeners with other points of view. Many writers begin a writing project by brainstorming ideas in a group, debating a point with friends, or chatting with an instructor. Others prefer to record themselves talking through their thoughts. Some writers exchange ideas by sending e-mail or instant messages or by posting to discussion boards or blogs. You may be encouraged to share ideas with your classmates and instructor in an online workshop where you can begin to refine your thoughts before starting a draft. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 13 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 14 1b Exploring and planning Reading and annotating texts Reading is an important way to deepen Making the most of your understanding of a topic and ex- your handbook pand your perspective. Annotating a text, Read critically and written or visual, encourages you to read take notes before you write. actively — to highlight key concepts, to ▶ Guidelines for active note possible contradictions in an argu- reading: page 71 ▶ Taking notes: 55c ment, or to raise questions for further ▶ Analyzing texts: 5 research and investigation. Here, for ex- ample, is a paragraph from an essay on medical ethics, Michael Sandel’s “The Case against Perfection,” as one student annotated it: SaMple annotateD article What break- Breakthroughs in genetics present us with a throughs? promise and a predicament. The promise is that Sandel’s key Do all break- we may soon be able to treat and prevent a host of dilemma throughs have debilitating diseases. The predicament is that our the same newfound genetic knowledge may also enable us consequences? to manipulate our own nature — to enhance our Stem cell muscles, memories, and moods; to choose the sex, research? height, and other genetic traits of our children; to make ourselves “better than well.” When science What does he moves faster than moral understanding, as it does mean by “moral today, men and women struggle to articulate their understanding”? Is everyone unease. In liberal societies they reach first for the really uneasy? language of autonomy, fairness, and individual Is something rights. But this part of our moral vocabulary is ill Which ques- a breakthrough equipped to address the hardest questions posed tions? He if it creates a doesn’t seem by genetic engineering. The genomic revolution to be taking predicament? has induced a kind of moral vertigo. sides. After reading and annotating the entire article, the student noticed that several of his annotations pointed to the ques- tion of whether a scientific breakthrough should be viewed in terms of its moral consequences. He decided to reread the article, taking detailed notes with this question in mind. Listing Listing ideas — a technique sometimes known as brainstorming — is a good way to figure out what you know and what questions you 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 14 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan reading  •  annotating  •  taking notes  •  listing  •  brainstorming  •  clustering  •  freewriting 1b 15 have. Here is a list one student writer jotted down for an essay about community service requirements for college students: • Volunteered in high school. • Teaching adults to read motivated me to study education. • “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” — Gandhi • Volunteering helps students find interests and career paths. • Volunteering as requirement? Contradiction? • Many students need to work to pay college tuition. • Enough time to study, work, and volunteer? • Can’t students volunteer for their own reasons? • What schools have community service requirements? • What do students say about community service requirements? Listing questions and ideas helped the writer narrow her subject and identify her position. In other words, she treated her early list as a record of her thoughts and a springboard to new ideas, not as an outline. Clustering Unlike listing, clustering highlights relationships among ideas. To cluster ideas, write your subject in the center of a sheet of paper, draw a circle around it, and surround the circle with related ideas connected to it with lines. If some of the satellite ideas lead to more specific clusters, write them down as well. The writer of the diagram on page 16 was exploring ideas for an essay on obesity in children. Freewriting In its purest form, freewriting is simply nonstop writing. You set aside ten minutes or so and write whatever comes to mind, without pausing to think about word choice, spelling, or even meaning. If you get stuck, you can write about being stuck, but you should keep your fingers moving. If nothing much happens, you have lost only ten minutes. It’s more likely, though, that something interesting will emerge — perhaps an eloquent sentence, a genuine expression of curiosity, or an idea worth further investigation. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 15 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 16 1b Exploring and planning Cluster diagram sleep “product disorders heart placement” of attacks foods in popular movies, TV shows health problems later popular in life fast foods diet available in school vending TV ads machines obesity in children for unhealthy foods exercise time spent genetics using computer or watching TV instead of being outside funding for athletic programs To explore ideas on a particular topic, consider using a tech- nique known as focused freewriting. Again, you write quickly and freely, but this time you focus on a subject and pay attention to the connections among your ideas. Asking questions When gathering material for a story, journalists routinely ask themselves Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How? In ad- dition to helping journalists get started, these questions ensure that they will not overlook an important fact. Whenever you are writing about events, whether current or historical, asking questions is one way to get started. One student, whose topic was the negative reaction in 1915 to D. W. Griffith’s silent film The Birth of a Nation, began exploring her topic with this set of questions: • Who objected to the film? • What were the objections? • When were protests first voiced? • Where were protests most strongly expressed? • Why did protesters object to the film? • How did protesters make their views known? 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 16 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan asking questions • journal • blogging 1b 17 As often happens, the answers to these questions led to another question the writer wanted to explore. After she discovered that protesters objected to the film’s racist portrayal of African Americans, she wondered whether their protests had changed attitudes. This question prompted an interesting topic for a paper: Did the film’s stereotypes lead to positive, if unintended, consequences? In academic writing, scholars often generate ideas by posing questions related to a specific discipline: one set of questions for analyzing literature, another for evaluating experiments in social psychology, still another for reporting field experiences in crimi- nal justice. If you are writing in a particular discipline, try to find out which questions its scholars typically explore. Keeping a journal A journal is a collection of informal, exploratory, sometimes ex- perimental writing. In a journal, often meant for your eyes only, you can take risks. You might freewrite, pose questions, comment on an interesting idea from one of your classes, or keep a list of questions that occur to you while reading. You might imagine a conversation between yourself and your readers or stage a debate to understand opposing positions. A journal can also serve as a sourcebook of ideas to draw on in future essays. Blogging Although a blog (Weblog) is a type of journal, it is a public writing space rather than a private one. In a blog, you might express opin- ions, make observations, recap events, have fun with language, or interpret an image. Since most blogs have a commenting feature, you can create a conversation by inviting readers to give you feedback — ask questions, pose counterarguments, or sug- gest other readings on a topic. as you write American author Annie Dillard has written: “There is something you find interesting, for a reason hard to explain. It is hard to explain because you have never read it on any page; there you begin.” What subject interests you? What questions do you have about that subject? Choose a question you don’t have an answer to, and use three different ways to explore your subject. (Eight are described in this section.) Which of these methods seems most productive for you? Why? 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 17 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 18 1c Exploring and planning 1c  Draft a working thesis. As you explore your topic and identify questions to investigate, you will begin to see possible ways to focus your material. At this point, try to settle on a tentative central idea. The more complex your topic, the more your focus will change as your drafts evolve. For many types of writing, you will be able to assert your central idea in a sentence or two. Such a statement, which ordinarily appears in the opening paragraph of your finished essay, is called a thesis statement (see also 2a). A thesis is often one or more of the following: • the answer to a question you have posed • the resolution of a problem you have identified • a statement that takes a position on a debatable topic A tentative or working thesis will help you organize your draft. Don’t worry about the exact wording because your main point may change as you refine your efforts. Here, for example, are one student’s efforts to pose a question and draft a thesis statement for an essay in his film course. QUESTION In Rebel without a Cause, how does the filmmaker show that Jim Stark becomes alienated from his family and friends? WORKING THESIS In Rebel without a Cause, Jim Stark, the main character, is often seen literally on the edge of physical danger, suggesting that he is becoming more and more agitated by his family and by society. The working thesis will need to be revised as the student thinks through and revises his paper, but it provides a useful place to start writing. Here, another student identifies and responds to a problem to focus an argument paper. PROBLEM Americans who earn average incomes cannot run effective national political campaigns. WORKING THESIS Congress should pass legislation that would make it possible for Americans who are not wealthy to be viable candidates in national political campaigns. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 18 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan working thesis  •  main idea  •  testing a thesis  •  outlining  •  sketch outline  •  informal outline 1d 19 The student has roughed out language for how to solve the problem — enacting federal legislation. As she reads more and learns more about her topic, she will be able to refine her thesis and suggest a specific solution, such as federal restriction of cam- paign spending. Testing a working thesis Once you have come up with a working thesis, you can use the following questions to evaluate it. ●● Does your thesis answer a question, propose a solution to a ­problem, or take a position in a debate? ●● Does the thesis require an essay’s worth of development? Or will you run out of points too quickly? ●● Is the thesis too obvious? If you cannot come up with interpretations that oppose your own, consider revising your thesis. ●● Can you support your thesis with the evidence available? ●● Can you explain why readers will want to read an essay with this thesis? Can you respond when a reader asks “So what?” or “Why does it matter?” Keep in mind as you draft your working thesis that an effec- tive thesis is a promise to the reader; it points both the writer and the reader in a definite direction. For a more detailed discussion of the thesis, see 2a. 1d  Sketch a plan. Once you have drafted a working thesis, listing and organizing your supporting ideas is a good next step. Creating outlines, whether formal or informal, can help you make sure your writing is credible and logical and can help you identify any gaps in your support. When to use an informal outline You might want to sketch an informal outline to see how you will support your thesis and to figure out a tentative structure for your ideas. Informal outlines can take many forms. Perhaps the most common is simply the thesis followed by a list of major ideas. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 19 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 20 1d Exploring and planning Working thesis:  Television advertising should be regulated to help prevent childhood obesity. • Children watch more television than ever. • Snacks marketed to children are often unhealthy and fattening. • Childhood obesity can cause sleep disorders and other problems. • Addressing these health problems costs taxpayers billions of dollars. • Therefore, these ads are actually costing the public money. • If advertising is free speech, do we have the right to regulate it? • We regulate alcohol and cigarette ads on television, so why not advertisements for soda and junk food? If you began by jotting down a list of ideas (see p. 15), you can turn the list into a rough outline by crossing out some ideas, adding others, and putting the ideas in a logical order. When to use a formal outline Early in the writing process, rough outlines have certain advan- tages: They can be produced quickly, they are obviously tentative, and they can be revised easily. However, a formal outline may be useful later in the writing process, after you have written a rough draft, especially if your topic is complex. It can help you see whether the parts of your essay work together and whether your essay’s structure is logical. The following formal outline brought order to the research paper in 60c, on Internet surveillance in the workplace. The stu- dent’s thesis is an important part of the outline. Everything else in the outline supports it, either directly or indirectly. Thesis:  Although companies often have legitimate concerns that lead them to monitor employees’ Internet usage—from expensive security breaches to reduced productivity—the benefits of electronic surveillance are outweighed by its costs to employees’ privacy and autonomy. I. Although employers have always monitored employees, electronic surveillance is more efficient than other methods. A. Employers can gather data in large quantities. B. Electronic surveillance can be continuous. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 20 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan informal outline  •  formal outline 1d 21 C. Electronic surveillance can be conducted secretly, with keystroke logging programs. II. Some experts argue that employers have legitimate reasons to monitor employees’ Internet usage. A. Unmonitored employees could accidentally breach security. B. Companies are legally accountable for the online actions of employees. III. Despite valid concerns, employers should value employee   morale and autonomy and avoid creating an atmosphere of distrust. A. Setting the boundaries for employee autonomy is difficult in the wired workplace. 1. Using the Internet is the most popular way of wasting time at work. 2. Employers can’t easily determine if employees are working or surfing the Web. B. Surveillance can create resentment among employees. 1. Web surfing can relieve stress, and restricting it can generate tension between managers and workers. 2. Enforcing Internet usage can seem arbitrary. IV. Surveillance may not increase employee productivity, and trust may benefit productivity. A. A company shouldn’t care how many hours salaried employees work as long as they get the job done. B. Casual Internet use can actually benefit companies. 1. The Internet may spark business ideas. 2. The Internet may suggest ideas about how to operate more efficiently. V. Employees’ rights to privacy are not well defined by the law. A. Few federal guidelines on electronic surveillance exist. B. Employers and employees are negotiating the boundaries without legal guidance. C. As technological capabilities increase, the need to define boundaries will also increase. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 21 7/26/11 9:59 AM plan 22 1d Exploring and planning Guidelines for constructing an outline 1. Put the thesis at the top. 2. Make items at the same level parallel grammatically (see section 9). 3. Use sentences unless phrases are clear. 4. Use the conventional system of numbers, letters, and indents: I. A. B. 1. 2. a. b. II. A. B. 1. 2. a. b. 5. Always include at least two items at each level. 6. Limit the number of major sections in the outline; if the list of roman numerals (at the first level) gets too long, try clustering the items into fewer major categories with more subcategories. When to consider using visuals You may decide that some of the support for your thesis could be one or more visuals. Visuals can convey information concisely and powerfully. Charts, graphs, and tables, for example, can simplify complex numerical information. Images — including photographs and diagrams — often express an idea more vividly than words can. With access to the Internet, digital photography, and word process- ing or desktop publishing software, you can download or create your own visuals to enhance your document. Keep in mind that if you download a visual — or use published information to create your own visual — you must credit your source (see p. 409). Always consider how a visual supports your purpose and how your audience might respond to it. A student writing about elec- tronic surveillance in the workplace, for example, used a cartoon to illustrate her point about employees’ personal use of the Internet 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 22 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft visuals • support • introduction • thesis • main idea 2a 23 at work (see 60c). Another student, writing about treatments for childhood obesity, created a table to display data she had found in two different sources and discussed in her paper (see 65b). As you plan your essay, carefully choose visuals that will support your point, and avoid overloading a draft with too many images. Use visuals to supplement your writing, not to substitute for it. The chart on pages 24–25 describes eight types of visuals and their purposes. 2 Draft the paper. As you rough out a first draft, focus your attention on ideas and organization. You can deal with sentence structure and word choice later. Before you begin to write, gather any prewriting materi- als — lists, diagrams, outlines, and so on — as well as sources that you plan to use. Having these close by will help you get started and keep you moving because you won’t need to search for ideas. Writing tends to flow better when it is drafted relatively quickly, without many stops and starts. 2a For most types of writing, draft an introduction that includes a thesis. Drafting an introduction Your introduction will usually be a paragraph of 50 to 150 words (in a longer paper, it may be more than one paragraph). Perhaps the most common strategy is to open the paragraph with a few sentences that engage the reader and establish your purpose for writing and then to state your main point. (See the example on p. 26.) The statement of your main point is called the thesis. (See also 1c.) tHe WritinG center hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Resources for writers and tutors > Tips from writing tutors: Writing introductions and conclusions 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 23 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft 24 2a Drafting choosing visuals to suit your purpose Pie chart Health insurance coverage in the United States (2007) Uninsured 15% Medicaid 13% Pie charts compare a part or parts Medicare 12% to the whole. Segments of the pie represent percentages of the whole Individual 5% (and always total 100 percent). Other public insurance 1% Employer-insured 54% Line graph THE PURSUIT OF PROPERTY Home ownership rates in the United States Line graphs highlight trends 70% over a period of time or compare 60% numerical data. 50% 40% 30% 20% 1930 1940 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 Bar graph THE PURSUIT OF PROPERTY Home ownership rates in the United States Bar graphs can be used for the 70% same purpose as line graphs. 60% This bar graph displays the same 50% 40% data as in the line graph above. 30% 20% 1930 1940 1950 1960 1970 1980 1990 2000 Table Tables organize complicated numerical information into a digestible format. Sources [top to bottom]: Kaiser Foundation; US Census Bureau; US Census Bureau; UNAIDS. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 24 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft visuals (diagrams, charts, photos) • different visuals for different purposes 2a 25 Photograph Photographs vividly depict people, scenes, or objects discussed in a text. Diagram Diagrams, useful in scientific and technical writing, concisely illustrate processes, structures, or interactions. Flowchart Proposed action Flowcharts show structures or Affect a designated wilderness area? steps in a process. (See also p. 133 YES NO for another example of a Prevent fire, insects, Not flowchart.) or disease? applicable YES NO Permissible Follow wilderness guidelines Map Maps indicate distances, historical information, or demographics. Sources [top to bottom]: Fred Zwicky; NIAMS; Arizona Board of Regents; Lynn Hunt et al. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 25 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft 26 2a Drafting In the following introduction, the thesis is highlighted. As the United States industrialized in the nineteenth century, using immigrant labor, social concerns took a backseat to the task of building a prosperous nation. The government did not regulate industries and did not provide an effective safety net for the poor or for those who became sick or injured on the job. Immigrants and the poor did have a few advocates, however. Settlement houses such as Hull-House in Chicago provided information, services, and a place for reform-minded individuals to gather and work to improve the conditions of the urban poor. Alice Hamilton was one of these reformers. Hamilton’s efforts helped to improve the lives of immigrants and drew attention and respect to the problems and people that until then had been ignored.  —Laurie McDonough, student Ideally, the sentences leading to the thesis should hook the reader, perhaps with one of the following: a startling statistic or an unusual fact a vivid example a description or an image a paradoxical statement a quotation or a bit of dialogue a question an analogy an anecdote Whether you are writing for a scholarly audience, a professional audience, a public audience, or a general audience, you cannot assume your readers’ interest in the topic. The hook should spark curiosity and offer readers a reason to continue. Although the thesis frequently appears at the end of the ­introduction, it can just as easily appear at the beginning. Much work-related writing, for example, requires a straightforward ­approach and commonly begins with the thesis. Flextime scheduling, which has proved its effectiveness at the Library of Congress, should be introduced on a trial basis at the main branch of the Montgomery County Public Library. By offering flexible work hours, the library can boost employee morale, cut down on absenteeism, and expand its hours of operation.  — David Warren, student 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 26 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft thesis • main idea 2a 27 For some types of writing, it may be Making the most of difficult or impossible to express the cen- your handbook tral idea in a thesis statement; or it may The thesis statement is central to many types be unwise or unnecessary to put a thesis of writing. statement in the essay. A personal nar- ▶ Writing about texts: 5 rative, for example, may have a focus too ▶▶ Writing arguments: 6 Writing research papers: subtle to be distilled in a single statement. 56 (MLA), 61 (APA) Strictly informative writing, like that found in many business memos, may be difficult to summarize in a the- sis. In some academic fields, such as nursing, writers may produce reports that do not require a thesis. In such instances, do not try to force the central idea into a thesis statement. Instead, think in terms of an overriding purpose, which may or may not be stated directly. as you write Review the advice given on pages 23 and 26–27 for writing effective introductions. Exchange drafts with a classmate and evaluate each other’s introductions. What hook have you used to focus your draft and spark readers’ curiosity? Based on feedback from a classmate, what other hooks might be appropriate for your purpose and audience? Writing effective thesis statements An effective thesis statement is a central idea that requires sup- porting evidence; its scope is appropriate for the required length of the essay; and it is sharply focused. It should answer a question you have posed, resolve a problem you have identified, or take a position in a debate. When constructing a thesis statement, ask yourself whether you can successfully develop it with the sources available to you and for the purposes you’ve identified. Also ask if you can ex- plain why readers should be interested in reading an essay that explores this thesis. Academic English If you come from a culture that prefers an indirect approach in writing, you may feel that asserting a thesis early in an essay sounds unrefined or even rude. In the United States, however, readers appreciate a direct approach; when you state your point as directly as possible, you show that you understand your topic and value your readers’ time. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 27 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft 28 2a Drafting A thesis must require proof or further development through facts and details; it cannot itself be a fact or a description. draft The first polygraph was developed by Dr. John A. thesis Larson in 1921. pROBLEM   The thesis is too factual. A reader could not disagree with it or debate it; no further ­development of this idea is required. STRATEGY   Enter a debate by posing a question about your topic that has more than one possible answer. For example: Should the polygraph be used by ­private employers? Your thesis should be your answer to the question. revised Because the polygraph has not been proved reliable, THESIS even under controlled conditions, its use by employers should be banned. A thesis should be an answer to a question, not a question itself. draft Would John F. Kennedy have continued to escalate THESIS the war in Vietnam if he had lived? pROBLEM   The thesis is a question, not an answer to a question. STRATEGY   Take a position on your topic by answering the question you have posed. Your thesis should be your answer to the question. revised Although John F. Kennedy sent the first American troops THESIS to Vietnam before he died, an analysis of his foreign policy suggests that he would not have escalated the war had he lived. A thesis should be of sufficient scope for your assignment; it should not be too broad. draft Mapping the human genome has many implications THESIS for health and science. pROBLEM   The thesis is too broad. Even in a very long research paper, you would not be able to discuss all the implications of mapping the human genome. STRATEGY   Consider subtopics of your original topic. Once you have chosen a subtopic, take a position in an ongoing debate and pose a question that has 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 28 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft thesis  •  main idea 2a 29 more than one answer. For example: Should people be tested for genetic diseases? Your thesis should be your answer to the question. revised Although scientists can now detect genetic predisposition THESIS for specific diseases, policymakers should establish guidelines about whom to test and under what circumstances. A thesis also should not be too narrow. draft A person who carries a genetic mutation linked to a THESIS particular disease might or might not develop that disease. pROBLEM   The thesis is too narrow. It does not ­suggest any argument or debate about the topic. STRATEGY   Identify challenging questions that readers might have about your topic. Then pose a question that has more than one answer. For example: Do the risks of genetic testing outweigh its usefulness? Your thesis should be your answer to this question. revised Though positive results in a genetic test do not guarantee THESIS that the disease will develop, such results can cause psychological trauma; genetic testing should therefore be avoided in most cases. A thesis should be sharply focused, not too vague. Avoid fuzzy, hard-to-define words such as interesting, good, or disgusting. draft The Vietnam Veterans Memorial is an interesting THESIS structure. pROBLEM   This thesis is too fuzzy and unfocused. It’s difficult to define interesting, and the sentence doesn’t give the reader any cues about where the essay is going. STRATEGY   Focus your thesis with concrete language and a clear plan. Pose a question about the topic that has more than one answer. For example: How does the physical structure of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial shape the experience of visitors? Your thesis — your answer to the question — should use specific language that engages readers to follow your argument. revised By inviting visitors to see their own reflections in the wall, THESIS the Vietnam Veterans Memorial creates a link between the present and the past. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 29 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft 30 2a Drafting Revising with comments Unclear thesis unDerStanDinG tHe coMMent When readers point out that your thesis is unclear, the comment often signals that they have a hard time identifying your essay’s main point. One student wrote this   Fathers are more involved in the  introductory paragraph in lives of their children today than they  response to an assignment used to be. In the past, the father’s  that asked her to analyze the changing roles of mothers or primary role was as the provider;  fathers. child care was most often left to the  mother or other relatives. However,  today’s father drives to dance lessons,  coaches his child’s baseball team,  hosts birthday parties, and provides  homework help. Do more involved  fathers help or hinder the development  Unclear of their children? thesis A writer’s thesis, or main point, should be phrased as a statement, not a question. To revise, the student could answer the question she has posed, or she could pose a new question and answer it. After considering her evidence, she needs to decide what position she wants to take, state this position clearly, and show readers why this position — her thesis — matters. SiMilar coMMentS: vague thesis � state your position � your main point? reviSinG WHen YOUR tHeSiS iS unclear 1. Ask questions. What is the thesis, position, or main point of the draft? Can you support it with the available evidence? 2. Reread your entire draft. Because ideas develop as you write, you may find that your conclusion contains a clearer statement of your main point than your current thesis does. Or you may find your thesis elsewhere in your draft. 3. Try revising your thesis by framing it as an answer to a question you pose, the resolution of a problem you identify, or a position you take in a debate. And put your thesis to the “So what?” test: Why would a reader be interested in this thesis? More help with writing a clear thesis: 1c and 2a 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 30 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft thesis • main idea 2a 31 as you write Review the advice and examples on pages 27–29 for writing effective thesis statements. Exchange drafts with a classmate, use the problem/strategy approach to evaluate each other’s thesis, and then talk through how each of you might go about revising. What do you learn about your draft thesis from this discussion? What single piece of advice might help you strengthen your thesis? eXerciSe 2–1 In each of the following pairs, which sentence might work well as a thesis for a short paper? What is the problem with the other one? Is it too factual? Too broad? Too vague? 1a. By networking with friends, a single parent can manage to strike a balance among work, school, a social life, and family. b. Single parents face many challenges as they try to juggle all of their responsibilities. 2a. At the Special Olympics, athletes with disabilities show that, with hard work and support from others, they can accomplish anything — that they can indeed be winners. b. Working with the Special Olympics program is rewarding. 3a. History 201, taught by Professor Brown, is offered at 10:00 a.m. on Tuesdays and Thursdays. b. Whoever said that history is nothing but polishing tombstones must have missed History 201, because in Professor Brown’s class history is very much alive. 4a. So far, research suggests that zero-emissions vehicles are not a sensible solution to the problem of steadily increasing air pollution. b. Because air pollution is of serious concern to many people today, several US government agencies have implemented plans to begin solving the problem. 5a. Anorexia nervosa is a dangerous and sometimes deadly eating disorder occurring mainly in young, upper-middle-class teens. b. The eating disorder anorexia nervosa is rarely cured by one treatment alone; only by combining drug therapy with psychotherapy and family therapy can the patient begin the long journey to wellness. practice hackerhandbooks.com/rules > The writing process > 2–2 to 2–4 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 31 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft 32 2b Drafting 2b  Draft the body. The body of your essay develops support for your thesis, so it’s important to have at least a working thesis before you start writ- ing. What does your thesis promise readers? Try to keep your response to that question in mind as you draft the body. You may have already written an introduction that includes your working thesis. If not, as long as you have a draft thesis, you can begin developing the body and return later to the in- troduction. If your thesis suggests a plan or if you have sketched a preliminary outline, try to block out your paragraphs accord- ingly. Draft the body of your essay by writing at least a paragraph about each supporting point you listed in the planning stage. If you do not have a plan, pause for a few moments and sketch one (see 1d). Keep in mind that often you might not know what you want to say until you have written a draft. It is possible to begin with- out a plan — assuming you are prepared to treat your first attempt as a “discovery draft” that will be radically rewritten once you discover what you really want to say. Whether or not you have a plan when you begin drafting, you can often figure out a work- able order for your ideas by stopping each time you start a new paragraph to think about what your readers will need to know to follow your train of thought. For more detailed advice about paragraphs in the body of an essay, see 4. For specific help with drafting paragraphs, see 4a. For more on developing paragraphs, see 4b. Tip: As you draft, keep careful notes and records of any sources you read and consult. (See 55b.) If you quote, paraphrase, or summarize a source, include a citation, even in your draft. You will save time and avoid plagiarism if you follow the rules of cita- tion and documentation while drafting. 2c  Draft a conclusion. A conclusion should remind readers of the essay’s main idea without repeating it. Often the concluding paragraph can be relatively short. By the end of the essay, readers should already understand your main point; your conclusion drives it home and, perhaps, gives readers some larger idea to consider. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 32 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft body • support paragraphs • conclusion • ending • support 2c 33 Revising with comments Be specific unDerStanDinG tHe coMMent When readers say that you need to “be specific,” the comment often sig- nals that you could strengthen your writing with additional details. In this body paragraph, a   There are many cultural differences  student responds to an between the United States and Italy.  assignment that asked him to interview a group Italian citizens do not share many  of international students of the same attitudes or values as  Be and describe the American citizens. Such differences  specific! challenges of studying make it hard for some Italian students  in the United States. to feel comfortable coming to the  United States for extended periods of  time, even for an academic year. The student presents a claim but doesn’t include specific examples or evidence to support the claim. To revise, the student might focus on one specific example of cultural differences between the United States and Italy. The student might then ask: What vivid details illustrate this cultural difference? The answer to that question will provide specific evidence to inform and persuade readers. SiMilar coMMentS: need examples � too general � evidence? StrateGieS for reviSinG WHen YOUR WritinG neeDS to be More Specific 1. Reread your topic sentence to understand the focus of the paragraph. 2. Ask questions. Does the paragraph contain claims that need support? What does the paragraph promise? Have you provided evidence — specific examples, vivid details and illustrations, statis- tics and facts — to help readers understand your ideas and find them persuasive? 3. Interpret your evidence. Remember that details and examples don’t speak for themselves. You’ll need to show readers how your evi- dence supports your claims. More help with using specific evidence: 6e 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 33 7/26/11 9:59 AM draft 34 2c Drafting Revising with comments Narrow your introduction unDerStanDinG tHe coMMent When readers point out that your introduction needs to be “narrowed,” the comment often signals that the beginning sentences of your essay are not specific or focused. One student   Sports fans are an interesting breed. They have  wrote this many ways of showing support for the team they love.  introductory Many fans perform elaborate rituals before, during,  paragraph in response to or after a sporting event. These rituals are performed  an assignment both privately in homes with family or friends and at  that asked her the stadiums and arenas where the games take place.  to analyze a Experiencing a sports competition where the fans are  ritual. participating in rituals to support the team makes the  game exciting. Some fans even believe that rituals are  necessary and that their actions influence the outcome  of a game. However, some fans go beyond cheering, and  their actions, verbal harassment, and chanted  Narrow your slurs reveal a darker side of sports. introduction This opening begins with such general statements that the purpose of the essay is unclear. To revise, the student might delete her first few sentences — generalizations about sports fans and rituals — and focus on one specific sports ritual. She might describe how fans who wear lucky clothes, eat certain foods, or chant a particular expression think they can influence the outcome of a game. Using a quotation, a vivid example, or a startling statistic, the student might show how a par- ticular ritual not only unites fans but also reveals a dark side of sports. Whatever “hook” she chooses should lead readers to her thesis. SiMilar coMMentS: focus your intro � too general � engage your readers reviSinG WHen You neeD to narroW YOUR introDuction 1. Reread your introduction and ask questions. Are the sentences lead- ing to your thesis specific enough to engage readers and communi- cate your purpose? Do these sentences lead logically to your thesis? Do they spark your readers’ curiosity and offer them a reason to continue reading? 2. Try revising your introduction with a “hook” that will engage readers — a question, quotation, paradoxical statement, or vivid example. More advice on writing introductions: 2a 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 34 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev introduction • conclusion • global revision • big picture 3 35 In addition to echoing your main idea, a conclusion might • briefly summarize your essay’s key points • propose a course of action • offer a recommendation • discuss the topic’s wider significance or implications • pose a question for future study To conclude an essay analyzing the shifting roles of women in the military services, one student discusses her topic’s implica- tions for society as a whole: As the military continues to train women in jobs formerly reserved for men, our understanding of women’s roles in society will no doubt continue to change. As news reports of women training for and taking part in combat operations become commonplace, reports of women becoming CEOs, police chiefs, and even president of the United States will cease to surprise us. Or perhaps we have already reached this point. — Rosa Broderick, student To make the conclusion memorable, you might include a detail, an example, or an image from the introduction to bring readers full circle; a quotation or a bit of dialogue; an anecdote; or a witty or ironic comment. Whatever concluding strategy you choose, keep in mind that an effective conclusion is decisive and unapologetic. Avoid introducing wholly new ideas at the end of an essay. And because the conclusion is so closely tied to the rest of the essay in both content and tone, be prepared to rework it (or even replace it) when you revise. 3 Make global revisions; then revise sentences. Revising is rarely a one-step process. Global matters — focus, purpose, organization, content, and overall strategy — generally receive attention first. Improvements in sentence structure, word choice, grammar, punctuation, and mechanics come later. practice anD MoDelS hackerhandbooks.com/rules > The writing process > 3–1 and 3–2 > Revising > Sample global revision > Sample sentence-level revision 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 35 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev 36 3a Revising 3a Make global revisions: Think big. Writers often resist global revisions because Making the most of they find it difficult to view their work from your handbook their audience’s perspective. What is clear to Seeking and using feedback are critical them, because they know what they mean steps in revising a college to say after all, is not always clear to their paper. audience. To distance yourself from a draft, ▶ Guidelines for peer reviewers: page 38 put it aside for a while, preferably overnight or even longer. When you return to it, try to play the role of your audience as you read. If possible, enlist friends or family to be the audience for your draft. Or visit your school’s writing center to go over your draft with a writing tutor. Ask your reviewers to focus on the larger issues of writing, such as purpose and organization, not on word- or sentence-level is- sues. You might begin with a basic question: Do you see my main point? The checklist for global revision below may help you and your reviewers get started. checklist for global revision Purpose and audience ● Does the draft address a question, a problem, or an issue that readers care about? ● Is the draft appropriate for its audience? Does it account for the audience’s knowledge of and possible attitudes toward the subject? Focus ● Is the thesis clear? Is it prominently placed? ● If there is no thesis, is there a good reason for omitting one? ● Scan the supporting paragraphs: Are any ideas obviously off the point? Organization and paragraphing ● Are there enough organizational cues for readers (such as topic sentences or headings)? ● Are ideas presented in a logical order? ● Are any paragraphs too long or too short for easy reading? 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 36 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev global revision • big picture • peer review • revising sentences 3b 37 Content ●● Is the supporting material relevant and persuasive? ●● Which ideas need further development? Have you left your reader with any unanswered questions? ●● Are the parts proportioned sensibly? Do major ideas receive enough attention? ●● Where might material be deleted? Look for redundant or irrelevant information. Point of view ●● Is the dominant point of view — first person (I or we), second person ( you), or third person (he, she, it, one, or they) — appropriate for your purpose and audience? (See 13a.) as you write Use the Checklist for global revision (pp. 36–37) to gain perspective on your draft. Does your draft accomplish its purpose? Does it reach its audience? Share your draft with a writing center tutor or with a peer. What did you learn from the feedback you received? Take a moment to identify three or four revision goals. 3b Revise and edit sentences. Much of this book offers advice on revising sentences for clarity and on editing them for grammar, punctuation, and mechanics. Some writers handle sentence-level revisions directly at the com- puter, experimenting with a variety of possible improvements. Other writers prefer to print out a hard copy of the draft and mark it up before making changes in the file. Page 38 shows a rough-draft paragraph as one student edited it on-screen for a variety of sentence-level problems. tHe WritinG center hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Resources for writers and tutors > Tips from writing tutors: Revising and editing 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 37 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev 38 3b Revising Guidelines for peer reviewers ●● View yourself as a coach, not a judge. Work with the writer to identify the draft’s strengths and areas for improvement. ●● Restate the writer’s main ideas to check that they are clearly expressed. ●● Where possible, give specific compliments. Let the writer know which of his or her strategies are successful. ●● Ask to hear more about passages you find confusing or interesting. ●● Express interest in reading the next draft. Although some cities have found creative ways to improve access   to public transportation for passengers with physical disabilities, and to fund other programs, there have been problems in our city has struggled with due to the need to address budget constraints and competing needs priorities. This The budget crunch has led citizens to question how funds are distributed.? For example, last year when city officials voted to use available funds to support had to choose between allocating funds for accessible transportation or allocating funds to after-school programs rather than transportation upgrades. , they voted for the after school programs. It is not clear to some citizens why these after-school programs are more important. The original paragraph was flawed by wordiness, a problem that can be addressed through any number of revisions. The fol- lowing revision would also be acceptable: Some cities have funded improved access to public transpor­ tation for passengers with physical disabilities. Because of budget constraints, our city chose to fund after-school programs rather than transportation programs. As a result, citizens have begun to question how funds are distributed and why certain programs are more important than others. Some of the paragraph’s improvements do not involve choice and must be fixed in any revision. The hyphen in after-school pro- grams is necessary; a noun must be substituted for the pronoun these in the last sentence; and the question mark in the second sentence must be changed to a period. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 38 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev peer review  •  proofreading  •  software tools  •  grammar checker 3d 39 3c  Proofread the final manuscript. After revising and editing, you are ready to prepare your final copy. (See 51 for guidelines.) Make sure to allow yourself enough time for proofreading — the final step in manuscript preparation. Proofreading is a special kind of reading: a slow and method- ical search for misspellings, typographical mistakes, and omitted words or word endings. Such errors can be difficult to spot in your own work because you may read what you intended to write, not what is actually on the page. To fight this tendency, try proofread- ing out loud, articulating each word as it is actually written. You might also try proofreading your sentences in reverse order, a strategy that takes your attention away from the meanings you intended and forces you to focus on one word at a time. Although proofreading may be slow, it is crucial. Errors strewn throughout an essay are distracting and annoying. If the writer doesn’t care about this piece of writing, the reader might wonder, why should I? A carefully proofread essay, however, sends a positive message that you value your writing and respect your readers. 3d  Use software tools wisely. Grammar checkers, spell checkers, and autoformatting are soft- ware tools designed to help you avoid errors and save time. These tools can alert you to possible errors in words, sentence struc- tures, or formatting. But they’re not always right. If a program suggests or makes a change, be sure the change is one you really want to make. Familiarizing yourself with your software’s settings can help you use these tools effectively. Grammar checkers Grammar checkers can help with some of the sentence-level prob- lems in a typical draft. But they will often misdiagnose errors, es- pecially because they cannot account for your intended meaning. When the grammar checker makes a suggestion for revision, you must decide whether the change is more effective than your original. It’s just as important to be aware of what your grammar checker isn’t picking up on. If you count on your grammar checker to identify trouble spots, you might overlook problems with co- ordination and subordination (see 14), sentence variety (see 15), sexist language (see 17e), and passive verbs (see 28a), for example. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 39 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev 40 3e Revising Spell checkers Spell checkers flag words not found in their dictionaries; they will suggest a replacement for any word they don’t recognize. They can help you spot many errors, but don’t let them be your only proofreader. If you’re writing about the health benefits of a Medi- terranean diet, for example, don’t let your software change briam (a vegetable dish) to Brian. Even if your spell checker identifies a real misspelling, the replacement word it suggests might carry a different connotation or even be nonsensical. After misspelling probably, you might end up with portly. Consider changes care- fully before accepting them. If you’re not sure what word or spell- ing you need, consult a dictionary. Because spell checkers flag only unrecognized words, they won’t catch misused words, such as accept when you mean ­except. For help with commonly confused or misused words and with avoiding informal speech and jargon, consult the glossary of usage at the back of the book. Autoformatting As you write, your software may attempt to save you effort with autoformatting. It might recognize that you’ve typed a URL and turn it into a link. Or if you’re building a list, it might add num- bering for you. Be aware of such changes and make sure they are appropriate for your paper and applied to the right text. 3e  Manage your files. Your instructor may ask you to complete assignments in stages, including notes, outlines, annotated bibliographies, rough drafts, and a final draft. Keeping track of all of these documents can be challenging. Be sure to give your files distinct names that reflect the appropriate stage of your writing process, and store them in a logical place. Writing online or in a word processing program can make writ­ing and revising easier. You can undo changes or return to an earlier draft if a revision misfires. Applying the following steps can help you explore revision possibilities with little risk. • Create folders and subfolders for each assignment. Save notes, outlines, and drafts together. • Label revised drafts with different file names and dates. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 40 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev spell checker  •  autoformatting  •  keeping track of files  •  naming  •  saving  •  student essay 3f 41 Managing files My English 101 Portfolio Address C:\My English 101 Portfolio Name  ▲ Essay 1 - Literacy narrative Essay 2 - Argument paper Essay 3 - Ad analysis Essay 4 - Research paper Navajo art Address C:\My English 101 Portfolio\Essay 3 - Ad analysis Name  ▲ Ad analysis draft 10.13.10 Ad analysis FINAL 10.28.10 Ad analysis peer response 10.18.10 Ad analysis revised 10.20.10 • Print hard copies, make backup copies, and press the Save button early and often (every five to ten minutes). • Always record complete bibliographic information about sources, including images. • Use a comment function to make notes to yourself or to respond to the drafts of peers. 3f  Student essay Matt Watson wrote the essay “Hooked on Credit Cards” (pp. 46–49) in response to the following assignment. In an essay of 500 –1,000 words, discuss a significant problem facing today’s college students. Assume that your audience consists of general readers, not simply college students. If you use any sources, document them with in-text citations and a list of works cited in MLA style (see section 59b). When he received the assignment, Watson considered sev- eral possibilities before settling on the topic of credit cards. He already knew something about the topic because his older sister had run up large credit card bills while in college and was work- ing hard to pay them off. Because the assignment required him to discuss a problem, he decided that a good strategy would be to identify a how or why question to answer. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 41 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev 42 3f Revising SaMple noteS Ideas for college problem essay 3.3.01.doc - Microsoft Word File Edit View Insert Format Tools Table Window Help Adobe PDF l | | | | | 1 | | | | | 2 | | | | | 3 | | | | | 4 | | | | ideas for college problem essay Phone call with Rebecca Watson, 3.3.01 • Easy to get hooked on credit cards and run up huge debts • Why do credit card companies try to sign up students? Aren’t we a bad risk? But they must be profiting, or they’d stop. • High interest rates • Ads for credit cards appear on campus and on the Web • Using plastic doesn’t seem like spending money • Tactics used by the companies—offering low interest rates at first, setting high credit limits, allowing a revolving balance • What happens to students who get in debt but don’t have parents who can bail them out? To get started on his paper, Watson talked with his sister about her experience with credit card debt and typed some ideas on his laptop (see above). After he listed these ideas, Watson identified the question that would drive his essay: Why do credit card companies put so many resources into soliciting  students, who often have poor credit profiles? Watson decided that his purpose would be to answer this ques- tion for himself and his audience. He would do so by taking a po- sition and making an argument. He wrote his first draft quickly, focusing more on ideas and evidence than on grammar, style, and mechanics. Here is the draft he submitted, together with the most helpful comments he received from classmates. The peer reviewers were asked to comment on global issues — audience appeal, focus, organization, content, and point of view — and to ignore any problems with grammar and punctuation. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 42 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev sample rough draft • comments • peer review 3f 43 rouGH Draft WitH peer coMMentS Good question. Is there Hooked on Credit Cards more to the answer than you’ve written Credit card companies love to extend credit  here? That is, why are these companies trying to college students. You see ads for these cards on  to hook us? (Mark) campus bulletin boards and also on the Web. Why do  Some students do have jobs. (Sara) companies market their product to a population that  The assignment asks has no job and lacks a substantial credit history?  for a general audience; your thesis shouldn’t be They seem to be trying to hook us on their cards;  about “us.” (Sara) Shouldn’t your thesis unfortunately many of us do get hooked on a cycle of  also explain how the companies hook spending that leads to financial ruin.  students? (Tim) Banks require applicants for a loan to demonstrate  a good credit history and some evidence of a source  Good point. I never thought of it that way. of income, but credit card companies don’t. On  (Sara) Mention the solicitors campus, students are bombarded with offers of  who show up during orientation? (Mark) preapproved credit cards. Then there are the Web  This sentence sounds sites. Sites with lots of student traffic are plastered  less formal than the rest of your essay. (Tim) with banner ads like this one: “To get a credit card,  you need to establish credit. To establish credit, you  I like this example. need a credit card. Stop the vicious cycle! Apply for  (Mark) our student MasterCard.” Credit card companies often entice students  Why not give us some with low interest rates, then they jack up the rates numbers here? Just how low and how high? later. A student may not think about the cost of  (Sara) interest. That new stereo or back-to-school wardrobe  can get pretty expensive at 17.9% interest if it’s  The shift to “you” compounded over several months. Would you have  seems odd. (Sara) bought that $600 item if you knew it would end up  costing you $900? Most cards allow the holder to keep a revolving  balance, which means that they don’t have to pay  the whole bill, they just pay a minimum amount.  02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 43 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev 44 3f Revising The minimum is usually not too much, but a young  person may be tempted to keep running up debt. The  Maybe you could search LexisNexis companies also give students an unrealistically high  for some statistical information. (Mark) credit limit. I’ve heard of undergraduates who had a  limit as high as $4,000. This paragraph seems sort of skimpy. (Tim) Card companies make money not just from  high interest rates. Often they charge fees for late  This would be more convincing if you payments. I’ve heard of penalties for going over the  provided some evidence to back up credit limit too. your claim. (Mark) Often students discover too late that they  are thoroughly trapped. Some drop out of school,  others graduate and then can’t find a good job  because they have a poor credit rating. There are  psychological problems too. Your parents may bail  You shift from “you” to “I” here. (Sara) you out of debt, but you’ll probably feel guilty. On a  Web site, I read that two students felt so bad they  Cite this? (Sara) committed suicide. Credit cards are a part of life these days, and  everyone is probably wise to have a charge account  for emergencies. But college students must take a  Your paper focuses on the tactics that hard look at their financial picture. The very things  the companies use, but your conclusion that make those cards so convenient and easy to use  doesn’t mention them. (Tim) can lead to a mountain of debt that will take years  to pay off.  02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 44 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev sample rough draft  •  comments  •  peer review  •  revision goals 3f 45 After rereading his draft and considering the feedback from his classmates, Watson realized that he needed to develop his thesis further. He set out some goals for revising his essay. Matt Watson’s revision goals Answer Mark’s question about what credit card companies gain by hooking students. Expand explanation of both why and how credit card companies market cards to students. Include evidence to back up claims about how credit card companies hook students. Look at reputable Web sites: student loan provider Nellie Mae and the Consumer Federation of America. Rework introduction to explain why credit card companies profit from students who have no steady source of income. Adjust point of view so that essay is appropriate for a general audience, not just for other students. When he was more or less satisfied with the paper as a whole, Watson worked to polish his sentences. His final draft begins on the next page. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 45 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev 46 3f Revising Watson 1 Matt Watson Professor Mills English 101 12 March 2001 Hooked on Credit Cards Introduction   Credit card companies love to extend credit to  hooks readers with interesting college students, especially those just out of high school.  details. Ads for credit cards line campus bulletin boards, flash  across commercial Web sites for students, and get  stuffed into shopping bags at college bookstores. Why  Introduction do the companies market their product so vigorously to  poses a question that leads a population that lacks a substantial credit history and  readers to the often has no steady source of income? The answer is that  thesis. significant profits can be earned through high interest  rates and assorted penalties and fees. By granting college  Thesis students liberal lending arrangements, credit card companies  announces Watson’s main often hook them on a cycle of spending that can ultimately  point. lead to financial ruin.  Clear topic   Whereas banks require applicants for a loan to  sentences guide readers through demonstrate a good credit history and some evidence  the body of the of income, credit card companies make no such demands  paper. on students. On campus, students find themselves  bombarded with offers of preapproved cards—and not just  on flyers pinned to bulletin boards. Many campuses allow  credit card vendors to solicit applications during orientation  week. In addition to offering preapproved cards, these  Essay is vendors often give away T-shirts or CDs to entice students  double-spaced throughout. to apply. Some companies even offer rewards program  bonuses based on a student’s GPA. Students are bombarded  on the Web as well. Sites with heavy student traffic are  emblazoned with banner ads like this one: “To get a credit  Marginal annotations indicate MLA-style formatting and effective writing. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 46 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev sample final draft 3f 47 Watson 2 card, you need to establish credit. To establish credit, you  need a credit card. Stop the vicious cycle! Apply for our  student MasterCard.”   Credit card companies often entice students with low  Body paragraphs are developed “teaser” interest rates of 13% and later raise those rates  with details and to 18% or even higher. Others charge high rates up front,  examples. trusting that students won’t read the fine print. Some young  people don’t think about the cost of interest, let alone  the cost of interest compounding month after month. That  back-to-school wardrobe can get pretty expensive at 17.9%  interest compounded over several months. A $600 trip to  Fort Lauderdale is not such a bargain when in the long run  it costs $900 or more.    In addition to charging high interest rates, credit  Transition serves as a card companies try to maximize the amount of interest  bridge between generated. One tactic is to extend an unreasonably high  paragraphs. credit limit to students. According to Nellie Mae statistics,  Summary of the source is in in 1998 undergraduates were granted an average credit  Watson’s own limit of $3,683; for graduate students, the figure jumped  words. to $15,721. Nearly 10% of the students in the Nellie Mae  study carried balances near or exceeding these credit limits  (Blair). Source is documented   Another tactic is to allow students to maintain a  with an MLA revolving balance. A revolving balance permits the debtor  in-text citation. to pay only part of a current bill, often an amount just a  little larger than the accumulated interest. The indebted  student is tempted to keep on charging, paying a minimum  amount every month, because there aren’t any immediate  consequences to doing so.   Once a student is hooked on a cycle of debt, the  companies profit even further by assessing a variety of 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 47 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev 48 3f Revising Watson 3 Watson cites fees and penalties. According to a press release issued by  a Web article from a reputable Consumer Action and the Consumer Federation of America,  source. many credit card companies charge late fees and “over the  limit” penalties as high as $29 per month. In addition,  grace periods are often shortened to ensure that late fees  kick in earlier. Many companies also raise interest rates  for those who fail to pay on time or who exceed the credit  limit. Those “penalty” rates can climb as high as 25% (1-2).   Often students discover too late that they are  thoroughly hooked. The results can be catastrophic.  Some students are forced to drop out of school and take   low-paying full-time jobs. Others, once they graduate, have  difficulty landing good jobs because of their poor credit  rating. Many students suffer psychologically as well. Even  those who have parents willing to bail them out of debt  often experience a great deal of anxiety and guilt. Two  students grew so stressed by their accumulating debt that  they committed suicide (Consumer Federation of Amer. 3). Conclusion   Credit cards are a convenient part of life, and there  echoes Watson’s main idea. is nothing wrong with having one or two of them. Before  signing up for a particular card, however, college students  should take time to read the fine print and do some  comparison shopping. Students also need to learn to resist  the many seductive offers that credit card companies extend  to them after they have signed up. Students who can’t  “just say no” to temptations such as high credit limits and  revolving balances could well become hooked on a cycle of  debt from which there is no easy escape.  02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 48 7/26/11 9:59 AM rev sample final draft 3f 49 Watson 4 Works Cited Blair, Alan D. “A High Wire Act: Balancing Student Loan and  Works cited page follows MLA Credit Card Debt.” Credit World 86.2 (1997): 15-17.  format. Business Source Premier. Web. 4 Mar. 2001.  Consumer Action and Consumer Federation of America.  “Card Issuers Hike Fees and Rates to Bolster Profits.”  Consumer Federation of America. Consumer Federation  of Amer., 5 Nov. 1998. Web. 4 Mar. 2001. Consumer Federation of America. “Credit Card Debt Imposes  Huge Costs on Many College Students.” Consumer Federation of America. Consumer Federation of Amer.,  8 June 1999. Web. 4 Mar. 2001. as you write What do you learn about composing and revising from studying Matt Watson’s process (pages 41–49)? How has Matt’s revised essay benefited from the advice of his peers and from his focused revision goals? How is your writing process similar to or different from Matt’s? 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 49 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 50 4 Writing paragraphs 4 Build effective paragraphs. Except for special-purpose paragraphs, such as introductions and conclusions (see 2a and 2c), paragraphs are clusters of information supporting an essay’s main point (or advancing a story’s action). Aim for paragraphs that are clearly focused, well developed, orga- nized, coherent, and neither too long nor too short for easy reading. 4a Focus on a main point. A paragraph should be unified around a main point. The point should be clear to readers, and every sentence in the paragraph should relate to it. Stating the main point in a topic sentence As readers move into a paragraph, they need to know where they are — in relation to the whole essay — and what to expect in the sentences to come. A good topic sentence, a one-sentence sum- mary of the paragraph’s main point, acts as a signpost pointing in two directions: backward toward the thesis of the essay and forward toward the body of the paragraph. Like a thesis sentence (see 1c and 2a), a topic sentence is more general than the material supporting it. Usually the topic sentence (highlighted in the following example) comes first in the paragraph. All living creatures manage some form of communication. The dance patterns of bees in their hive help to point the way to distant flower fields or announce successful foraging. Male stickleback fish regularly swim upside-down to indicate outrage in a courtship contest. Male deer and lemurs mark territorial ownership by rubbing their own body secretions on boundary stones or trees. Everyone has seen a frightened dog put his tail between his legs and run in panic. We, too, use gestures, expressions, postures, and movement to give our words point. — Olivia Vlahos, Human Beginnings Sometimes the topic sentence is introduced by a transitional sentence linking it to earlier material. In the following paragraph, the topic sentence has been delayed to allow for a transition. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 50 7/26/11 9:59 AM par paragraphs  •  main point  •  topic sentence  •  unity  •  sticking to the point 4a 51 But flowers are not the only source of spectacle in the wilderness. An opportunity for late color is provided by the berries of wildflowers, shrubs, and trees. Baneberry presents its tiny white flowers in spring but in late summer bursts forth with clusters of red berries. Bunchberry, a ground-cover plant, puts out red berries in the fall, and the red berries of wintergreen last from autumn well into the winter. In California, the bright red, fist-sized clusters of Christmas berries can be seen growing beside highways for up to six months of the year.  — James Crockett et al., Wildflower Gardening To hook readers, writers are sometimes tempted to begin paragraphs with vivid quotations or compelling statistics from a source. A topic sentence in the writer’s own words, however, can remind readers of the claim of the paper, advance the argument, and introduce the evidence from a source. In the following para- graph on the effects of the 2010 oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, the writer uses a topic sentence to state that the extent of the threat is unknown before quoting three sources that illustrate her point. To date, the full ramifications [of the oil spill] remain a question mark. An August report from the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration estimated that 75 percent of the oil had “either evaporated or been burned, skimmed, recovered from the wellhead, or dispersed.” However, Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution researchers reported that a 1.2-mile-wide, 650-foot- high plume caused by the spill “will persist for some time.” And University of Georgia scientists conclude that almost 80 percent of the released oil hadn’t been recovered and “remains a threat to the ecosystem.”  — Michele Wilson, “Volunteer Army” Some professional writers, such as informal essayists, may not al- ways use clear topic sentences. In college writing, however, topic sentences are often necessary for clarifying the lines of an argu- ment or for reporting the research in a field. In business writing, topic sentences (along with headings) are essential because read- ers often scan for information. Sticking to the point Sentences that do not support the topic sentence destroy the unity of a paragraph. If the paragraph is otherwise focused, such sentences can simply be deleted or perhaps moved elsewhere. In the following paragraph describing the inadequate facilities in 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 51 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 52 4a Writing paragraphs a high school, the information about the chemistry instructor (highlighted) is clearly off the point. As the result of tax cuts, the educational facilities of Lincoln High School have reached an all-time low. Some of the books date back to 1990 and have long since shed their covers. The few computers in working order must share one printer. The lack of lab equipment makes it necessary for four or five students to work at one table, with most watching rather than performing experiments. Also, the chemistry instructor left to have a baby at the beginning of the semester, and most of the students don’t like the substitute. As for the furniture, many of the upright chairs have become recliners, and the desk legs are so unbalanced that they play seesaw on the floor. Sometimes the solution for a disunified paragraph is not as simple as deleting or moving material. Writers often wander into uncharted territory because they cannot think of enough evi- dence to support a topic sentence. Feeling that it is too soon to break into a new paragraph, they move on to new ideas for which they have not prepared the reader. When this happens, the writer is faced with a choice: Either find more evidence to support the topic sentence or adjust the topic sentence to mesh with the evi- dence that is available. Exercise 4–1  Underline the topic sentence in the following para- graph and cross out any material that does not clarify or develop the central idea. Quilt making has served as an important means of social, political, and artistic expression for women. In the nineteenth century, quilting circles provided one of the few opportunities for women to forge social bonds outside of their families. Once a week or more, they came together to sew as well as trade small talk, advice, and news. They used dyed cotton fabrics much like the fabrics quilters use today; surprisingly, quilters’ basic materials haven’t changed that much over the years. Sometimes the women joined their efforts in support of a political cause, making quilts that would be raffled to raise money for temperance societies, hospitals for sick and wounded soldiers, and the fight against slavery. Quilt making also afforded women a means of artistic expression at a time when they had few other creative outlets. Within their socially acceptable roles as homemakers, many quilters subtly pushed back at the restrictions placed on them by experimenting with color, design, and technique. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  The writing process >  4–2 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 52 7/26/11 9:59 AM par paragraphs • main point • topic sentence • unity • sticking to the point 4a 53 Revising with comments More than one point in this paragraph unDerStanDinG tHe coMMent When readers tell you that you have “more than one point in this para- graph,” the comment often signals that not all sentences in your para- graph support the topic sentence. One student wrote   Bringing casino gaming to  this body paragraph Massachusetts would benefit the state in  in response to an a number of ways. First, it would provide  assignment that asked him to take a position on needed property tax relief for many of the  a current issue. state’s towns and cities. Casino gaming  would also bring in revenue needed to fix  the state’s roads and bridges. The speaker  of the House of Representatives is blocking  the governor’s proposal because he  believes the social costs are greater than  the economic benefits. Many people agree  with the speaker. Most important,  More than casino gaming would provide jobs in  one point areas of the state that have suffered  in this economically in recent years. paragraph The topic sentence promises a discussion of benefits, but the detour into risks strays from the point. To revise, the student should focus on the key word in his topic sentence — benefit — because that signals to readers that the paragraph will examine the advantages of casino gaming. He might focus his paragraph by providing specific examples of benefits and deleting references to risks, perhaps using risks as counterpoints in a separate paragraph. SiMilar coMMentS: unfocused � lacks unity � hard to follow StrateGieS for reviSinG WHen YOU Have More tHan one point in a paraGrapH 1. Reread your paragraph and ask questions. What is the main point of the paragraph? Is there a topic sentence that signals to readers what to expect in the rest of the paragraph? Does each sentence support the topic sentence and logically follow from the one before? Have you included sentences that perhaps belong elsewhere in your paper? 2. Remember the purpose of topic sentences; they serve as important signposts for readers. Make sure that the wording of your topic sentence is precise and that you have enough evidence to support it in the paragraph. More advice on unifying paragraphs: 4d 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 53 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 54 4b Writing paragraphs 4b  Develop the main point. Though an occasional short paragraph is fine, particularly if it functions as a transition or emphasizes a point, a series of brief paragraphs suggests inadequate development. How much devel- opment is enough? That varies, depending on the writer’s pur- pose and audience. For example, when health columnist Jane Brody wrote a paragraph attempting to convince readers that it is impossible to lose fat quickly, she knew that she would have to present a great deal of evidence because many dieters want to believe the oppo- site. She did not write only the following: When you think about it, it’s impossible to lose — as many diets suggest — 10 pounds of fat in ten days, even on a total fast. Even a moderately active person cannot lose so much weight so fast. A less active person hasn’t a prayer. This three-sentence paragraph is too skimpy to be convincing. But the paragraph that Brody did write contains enough evidence to convince even skeptical readers. When you think about it, it’s impossible to lose — as many . . . diets suggest — 10 pounds of fat in ten days, even on a total fast. A pound of body fat represents 3,500 calories. To lose 1 pound of fat, you must expend 3,500 more calories than you consume. Let’s say you weigh 170 pounds and, as a moderately active person, you burn 2,500 calories a day. If your diet contains only 1,500 calories, you’d have an energy deficit of 1,000 calories a day. In a week’s time that would add up to a 7,000-calorie deficit, or 2 pounds of real fat. In ten days, the accumulated deficit would represent nearly 3 pounds of lost body fat. Even if you ate nothing at all for ten days and maintained your usual level of activity, your caloric deficit would add up to 25,000 calories. . . . At 3,500 calories per pound of fat, that’s still only 7 pounds of lost fat.  — Jane Brody, Jane Brody’s Nutrition Book 4c  Choose a suitable pattern of organization. Although paragraphs (and indeed whole essays) may be pat- terned in any number of ways, certain patterns of organiza- tion occur frequently, either alone or in combination: examples 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 54 7/26/11 9:59 AM par details  •  organization  •  examples  •  illustrations 4c 55 and illustrations, narration, description, process, comparison and contrast, analogy, cause and effect, classification and divi- sion, and definition. These patterns (sometimes called methods of ­development) have different uses, depending on the writer’s ­subject and purpose. Examples and illustrations Providing examples, perhaps the most common method of devel- opment, is appropriate whenever the reader might be tempted to ask, “For example?” Though examples are just selected instances, not a complete catalog, they are enough to suggest the truth of many topic sentences, as in the following paragraph. Normally my parents abided scrupulously by “The Budget,” but several times a year Dad would dip into his battered black strongbox and splurge on some irrational, totally satisfying luxury. Once he bought over a hundred comic books at a flea market, doled out to us thereafter at the tantalizing rate of two a week. He always got a whole flat of pansies, Mom’s favorite flower, for us to give her on Mother’s Day. One day a boy stopped at our house selling fifty-cent raffle tickets on a sailboat and Dad bought every ticket the boy had left — three books’ worth.  — Connie Hailey, student Illustrations are extended examples, frequently presented in story form. Because they require several sentences, they are used more sparingly than examples. When well selected, however, they can be a vivid and effective means of developing a point. The writer of the following paragraph uses illustrations to dem- onstrate that Harriet Tubman, the underground railroad’s most famous conductor, was a genius at eluding her pursuers. Part of [Harriet Tubman’s] strategy of conducting was, as in all battle-field operations, the knowledge of how and when to retreat. Numerous allusions have been made to her moves when she suspected that she was in danger. When she feared the party was closely pursued, she would take it for a time on a train southward bound. No one seeing Negroes going in this direction would for an instant suppose them to be fugitives. Once on her return she was at a railroad station. She saw some men reading a poster and she heard one of them reading it aloud. It was a description of her, offering a reward for her capture. She took a southbound train to avert suspicion. At another time when Harriet heard men talking about her, she pretended to read a book which 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 55 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 56 4c Writing paragraphs she carried. One man remarked, “This can’t be the woman. The one we want can’t read or write.” Harriet devoutly hoped the book was right side up.  — Earl Conrad, Harriet Tubman Narration A paragraph of narration tells a story or part of a story. Narra- tive paragraphs are usually arranged in chronological order, but they may also contain flashbacks, interruptions that take the story back to an earlier time. The following paragraph, from Jane Goodall’s In the Shadow of Man, recounts one of the author’s ­experiences in the African wild. One evening when I was wading in the shallows of the lake to pass a rocky outcrop, I suddenly stopped dead as I saw the sinuous black body of a snake in the water. It was all of six feet long, and from the slight hood and the dark stripes at the back of the neck I knew it to be a Storm’s water cobra — a deadly reptile for the bite of which there was, at that time, no serum. As I stared at it an incoming wave gently deposited part of its body on one of my feet. I remained motionless, not even breathing, until the wave rolled back into the lake, drawing the snake with it. Then I leaped out of the water as fast as I could, my heart hammering.  — Jane Goodall, In the Shadow of Man Description A descriptive paragraph sketches a portrait of a person, place, or thing by using concrete and specific details that appeal to one or more of our senses — sight, sound, smell, taste, and touch. Con- sider, for example, the following description of the grasshopper invasions that devastated the midwestern landscape in the late 1860s. They came like dive bombers out of the west. They came by the millions with the rustle of their wings roaring overhead. They came in waves, like the rolls of the sea, descending with a terrifying speed, breaking now and again like a mighty surf. They came with the force of a williwaw and they formed a huge, ominous, dark brown cloud that eclipsed the sun. They dipped and touched earth, hitting objects and people like hailstones. But they were not hail. These were live demons. They popped, snapped, crackled, and roared. They were dark brown, an inch or longer in length, plump in the middle and 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 56 7/26/11 9:59 AM par narration  •  description  •  process  •  comparison  •  contrast 4c 57 tapered at the ends. They had transparent wings, slender legs, and two black eyes that flashed with a fierce intelligence.  — Eugene Boe, “Pioneers to Eternity” Process A process paragraph is structured in chronological order. A writer may choose this pattern either to describe how something is made or done or to explain to readers, step by step, how to do some- thing. The following paragraph describes what happens when water freezes. In school we learned that with few exceptions the solid phase of matter is more dense than the liquid phase. Water, alone among common substances, violates this rule. As water begins to cool, it contracts and becomes more dense, in a perfectly typical way. But about four degrees above the freezing point, something remarkable happens. It ceases to contract and begins expanding, becoming less dense. At the freezing point the expansion is abrupt and drastic. As water turns to ice, it adds about one-eleventh to its liquid volume.  — Chet Raymo, “Curious Stuff, Water and Ice” Here is a paragraph explaining how to perform a “roll cast,” a popular fly-fishing technique. Begin by taking up a suitable stance, with one foot slightly in front of the other and the rod pointing down the line. Then begin a smooth, steady draw, raising your rod hand to just above shoulder height and lifting the rod to the 10:30 or 11:00 position. This steady draw allows a loop of line to form between the rod top and the water. While the line is still moving, raise the rod slightly, then punch it rapidly forward and down. The rod is now flexed and under maximum compression, and the line follows its path, bellying out slightly behind you and coming off the water close to your feet. As you power the rod down through the 3:00 position, the belly of line will roll forward. Follow through smoothly so that the line unfolds and straightens above the water.  — The Dorling Kindersley Encyclopedia of Fishing Comparison and contrast To compare two subjects is to draw attention to their similarities, although the word compare also has a broader meaning that in- cludes a consideration of differences. To contrast is to focus only on differences. 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 57 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 58 4c Writing paragraphs Whether a paragraph stresses similarities or differences, it may be patterned in one of two ways. The two subjects may be presented one at a time, as in the following paragraph of contrast. So Grant and Lee were in complete contrast, representing two diametrically opposed elements in American life. Grant was the modern man emerging; beyond him, ready to come on the stage, was the great age of steel and machinery, of crowded cities and a restless, burgeoning vitality. Lee might have ridden down from the old age of chivalry, lance in hand, silken banner fluttering over his head. Each man was the perfect champion of his cause, drawing both his strengths and his weaknesses from the people he led.  — Bruce Catton, “Grant and Lee: A Study in Contrasts” Or a paragraph may proceed point by point, treating the two subjects together, one aspect at a time. The following paragraph uses the point-by-point method to contrast speeches given by Abraham Lincoln in 1860 and Barack Obama in 2008. Two men, two speeches. The men, both lawyers, both from Illinois, were seeking the presidency, despite what seemed their crippling connection with extremists. Each was young by modern standards for a president. Abraham Lincoln had turned fifty-one just five days before delivering his speech. Barack Obama was forty-six when he gave his. Their political experience was mainly provincial, in the Illinois legislature for both of them, and they had received little exposure at the national level — two years in the House of Representatives for Lincoln, four years in the Senate for Obama. Yet each was seeking his party’s nomination against a New York senator of longer standing and greater prior reputation — Lincoln against Senator William Seward, Obama against Senator Hillary Clinton. They were both known for having opposed an initially popular war — Lincoln against President Polk’s Mexican War, raised on the basis of a fictitious provocation; Obama against President Bush’s Iraq War, launched on false claims that Saddam Hussein possessed WMDs [weapons of mass destruction] and had made an alliance with Osama bin Laden.  — Garry Wills, “Two Speeches on Race” Analogy Analogies draw comparisons between items that appear to have little in common. Writers turn to analogies for a variety of 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 58 7/26/11 9:59 AM par comparison  •  contrast  •  analogy  •  cause  •  effect 4c 59 reasons: to make the unfamiliar seem familiar, to provide a con- crete understanding of an abstract topic, to argue a point, or to provoke fresh thoughts or changed feelings about a subject. In the following paragraph, physician Lewis Thomas draws an anal- ogy between the behavior of ants and that of humans. Ants are so much like human beings as to be an embarrassment. They farm fungi, raise aphids as livestock, launch armies into wars, use chemical sprays to alarm and confuse enemies, capture slaves. The families of weaver ants engage in child labor, holding their larvae like shuttles to spin out the thread that sews the leaves together for their fungus gardens. They exchange information ceaselessly. They do everything but watch television.  — Lewis Thomas, “On Societies as Organisms” Although analogies can be a powerful tool for illuminating a subject, they should be used with caution in arguments. Just ­because two things may be alike in one respect, we cannot con- clude that they are alike in all respects. (See p. 103.) Cause and effect When causes and effects are a matter of argument, they are too complex to be reduced to a simple pattern (see p. 105). However, if a writer wishes merely to describe a cause-and-effect relationship that is generally accepted, then the effect may be stated in the topic sentence, with the causes listed in the body of the paragraph. The fantastic water clarity of the Mount Gambier sinkholes results from several factors. The holes are fed from aquifers holding rainwater that fell decades — even centuries — ago, and that has been filtered through miles of limestone. The high level of calcium that limestone adds causes the silty detritus from dead plants and animals to cling together and settle quickly to the bottom. Abundant bottom vegetation in the shallow sinkholes also helps bind the silt. And the rapid turnover of water prohibits stagnation.  — Hillary Hauser, “Exploring a Sunken Realm in Australia” Or the paragraph may move from cause to effects, as in this paragraph from a student paper on the effects of the industrial revolution on American farms. The rise of rail transport in the nineteenth century forever changed American farming — for better and for worse. Farmers 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 59 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 60 4c Writing paragraphs who once raised crops and livestock to sustain just their own families could now make a profit by selling their goods in towns and cities miles away. These new markets improved the living standard of struggling farm families and encouraged them to seek out innovations that would increase their profits. On the downside, the competition fostered by the new markets sometimes created hostility among neighboring farm families where there had once been a spirit of cooperation. Those farmers who couldn’t compete with their neighbors left farming forever, facing poverty worse than they had ever known.  — Chris Mileski, student Classification and division Classification is the grouping of items into categories according to some consistent principle. For example, an ele­mentary school teacher might classify children’s books according to their level of difficulty, but a librarian might group them by subject mat- ter. The principle of classification that a writer chooses ultimately depends on the purpose of the classification. The following para- graph classifies species of electric fish. Scientists sort electric fishes into three categories. The first comprises the strongly electric species like the marine electric rays or the freshwater African electric catfish and South American electric eel. Known since the dawn of history, these deliver a punch strong enough to stun a human. In recent years, biologists have focused on a second category: weakly electric fish in the South American and African rivers that use tiny voltages for communication and navigation. The third group contains sharks, nonelectric rays, and catfish, which do not emit a field but possess sensors that enable them to detect the minute amounts of electricity that leak out of other organisms.  — Anne and Jack Rudloe, “Electric Warfare: The Fish That Kill with Thunderbolts” Division takes one item and divides it into parts. As with classification, division should be made according to some consis- tent principle. The following passage describes the components that make up a baseball. Like the game itself, a baseball is composed of many layers. One of the delicious joys of childhood is to take apart a baseball and examine the wonders within. You begin by removing the red cotton thread and peeling off the leather cover — which comes from the hide of a Holstein cow and has been tanned, cut, printed, 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 60 7/26/11 9:59 AM par classification  •  division  •  definition  •  coherence 4d 61 and punched with holes. Beneath the cover is a thin layer of cotton string, followed by several hundred yards of woolen yarn, which makes up the bulk of the ball. Finally, in the middle is a rubber ball, or “pill,” which is a little smaller than a golf ball. Slice into the rubber and you’ll find the ball’s heart — a cork core. The cork is from Portugal, the rubber from southeast Asia, the covers are American, and the balls are assembled in Costa Rica.  — Dan Gutman, The Way Baseball Works Definition A definition puts a word or concept into a general class and then provides enough details to distinguish it from others in the same class. In the following paragraph, the writer defines envy as a par- ticular kind of desire. Envy is so integral and so painful a part of what animates behavior in market societies that many people have forgotten the full meaning of the word, simplifying it into one of the synonyms of desire. It is that, which may be why it flourishes in market societies: democracies of desire, they might be called, with money for ballots, stuffing permitted. But envy is more or less than desire. It begins with an almost frantic sense of emptiness inside oneself, as if the pump of one’s heart were sucking on air. One has to be blind to perceive the emptiness, of course, but that’s just what envy is, a selective blindness. Invidia, Latin for envy, translates as “non-sight,” and Dante has the envious plodding along under cloaks of lead, their eyes sewn shut with leaden wire. What they are blind to is what they have, God-given and humanly nurtured, in themselves.  — Nelson W. Aldrich Jr., Old Money 4d  Make paragraphs coherent. When sentences and paragraphs flow from one to another with- out discernible bumps, gaps, or shifts, they are said to be ­coherent. Coherence can be improved by strengthening the ties between old information and new. A number of techniques for strengthening those ties are detailed in this section. Linking ideas clearly Readers expect to learn a paragraph’s main point in a topic sen- tence early in the paragraph. Then, as they move into the body of 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 61 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 62 4d Writing paragraphs the paragraph, they expect to encounter specific details, facts, or examples that support the topic sentence — either directly or in- directly. In the following paragraph, all of the sentences following the topic sentence directly support it. A passenger list of the early years [of the Orient Express] would read like a Who’s Who of the World, from art to politics. Sarah Bernhardt and her Italian counterpart Eleonora Duse used the train to thrill the stages of Europe. For musicians there were Toscanini and Mahler. Dancers Nijinsky and Pavlova were there, while lesser performers like Harry Houdini and the girls of the Ziegfeld Follies also rode the rails. Violinists were allowed to practice on the train, and occasionally one might see trapeze artists hanging like bats from the baggage racks.  — Barnaby Conrad III, “Train of Kings” If a sentence does not support the topic sentence directly, readers expect it to support another sentence in the paragraph and therefore to support the topic sentence indirectly. The fol- lowing paragraph begins with a topic sentence. The highlighted sentences are direct supports, and the rest of the sentences are indirect supports. Though the open-space classroom works for many children, it is not practical for my son, David. First, David is hyperactive. When he was placed in an open-space classroom, he became distracted and confused. He was tempted to watch the movement going on around him instead of concentrating on his own work. Second, David has a tendency to transpose letters and numbers, a tendency that can be overcome only by individual attention from the instructor. In the open classroom he was moved from teacher to teacher, with each one responsible for a different subject. No single teacher worked with David long enough to diagnose the problem, let alone help him with it. Finally, David is not a highly motivated learner. In the open classroom, he was graded “at his own level,” not by criteria for a certain grade. He could receive a B in reading and still be a grade level behind, because he was doing satisfactory work “at his own level.”  — Margaret Smith, student Repeating key words Repetition of key words is an important technique for gaining coherence. To prevent repetitions from becoming dull, you can 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 62 7/26/11 9:59 AM par coherence  •  flow  •  key words  •  parallelism 4d 63 use variations of a key word (hike, hiker, hiking), pronouns refer- ring to the word ( gamblers . . . they), and synonyms (run, spring, race, dash). In the following paragraph describing plots among indentured servants in the seventeenth century, historian Rich- ard Hofstadter binds sentences together by repeating the key word plots and echoing it with a variety of synonyms (which are highlighted). Plots hatched by several servants to run away together occurred mostly in the plantation colonies, and the few recorded servant uprisings were entirely limited to those colonies. Virginia had been forced from its very earliest years to take stringent steps against mutinous plots, and severe punishments for such behavior were recorded. Most servant plots occurred in the seventeenth century: a contemplated uprising was nipped in the bud in York County in 1661; apparently led by some left-wing offshoots of the Great Rebellion, servants plotted an insurrection in Gloucester County in 1663, and four leaders were condemned and executed; some discontented servants apparently joined Bacon’s Rebellion in the 1670’s. In the 1680’s the planters became newly apprehensive of discontent among the servants “owing to their great necessities and want of clothes,” and it was feared they would rise up and plunder the storehouses and ships; in 1682 there were ­ plant-cutting riots in which servants and laborers, as well as some planters, took part.  — Richard Hofstadter, America at 1750 Using parallel structures Parallel structures are frequently used within sentences to un- derscore the similarity of ideas (see 9). They may also be used to bind together a series of sentences expressing similar infor- mation. In the following passage describing folk beliefs, anthro- pologist Margaret Mead presents similar information in parallel grammatical form. Actually, almost every day, even in the most sophisticated home, something is likely to happen that evokes the memory of some old folk belief. The salt spills. A knife falls to the floor. Your nose tickles. Then perhaps, with a slightly embarrassed smile, the person who spilled the salt tosses a pinch over his left shoulder. Or someone recites the old rhyme, “Knife falls, gentleman calls.” Or as you rub your nose you think, That means a letter. I wonder who’s writing?  — Margaret Mead, “New Superstitions for Old” 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 63 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 64 4d Writing paragraphs Maintaining consistency Coherence suffers whenever a draft shifts confusingly from one point of view to another or from one verb tense to another. (See 13.) In addition, coherence can suffer when new information is introduced with the subject of each sentence. For advice on avoiding shifts, see 13. Providing transitions Transitions are bridges between what has been read and what is about to be read. Transitions help readers move from sentence to sentence; they also alert readers to more global connections of ideas — those between paragraphs or even larger blocks of text. Sentence-level transitions  Certain words and phrases signal connections between (or within) sentences. Frequently used transitions are included in the chart below. Skilled writers use transitional expressions with care, mak- ing sure, for example, not to use consequently when also would be more precise. They are also careful to select transitions with an appropriate tone, perhaps preferring so to thus in an informal piece, in summary to in short for a scholarly essay. In the following paragraph, taken from an argument that di- nosaurs had the “ ‘right-sized’ brains for reptiles of their body size,” biologist Stephen Jay Gould uses transitions (highlighted) with skill. I don’t wish to deny that the flattened, minuscule head of large bodied Stegosaurus houses little brain from our subjective, top-heavy perspective, but I do wish to assert that we should not expect more of the beast. First of all, large animals have relatively smaller brains than related, small animals. The correlation of brain size with body size among kindred animals (all reptiles, all mammals, for example) is remarkably regular. As we move from small to large animals, from mice to elephants or small lizards to Komodo dragons, brain size increases, but not so fast as body size. In other words, bodies grow faster than brains, and large animals have low ratios of brain weight to body weight. In fact, brains grow only about two-thirds as fast as bodies. Since we have no reason to believe that large animals are consistently stupider than their smaller relatives, we must conclude that large animals require relatively less brain to do as well as smaller animals. If we do not recognize this relationship, we are likely to underestimate the mental power of very large animals, dinosaurs in particular.  — Stephen Jay Gould, “Were Dinosaurs Dumb?” 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 64 7/26/11 9:59 AM par consistency  •  point of view  •  transitions 4d 65 Common transitions To show addition:  and, also, besides, further, furthermore, in addition, moreover, next, too, first, second To give examples:  for example, for instance, to illustrate, in fact To compare:  also, in the same manner, similarly, likewise To contrast:  but, however, on the other hand, in contrast, nevertheless, still, even though, on the contrary, yet, although To summarize or conclude:  in short, in summary, in conclusion, to sum up, therefore To show time:  after, as, before, next, during, later, finally, meanwhile, then, when, while, immediately To show place or direction:  above, below, beyond, nearby, opposite, close, to the left To indicate logical relationship:  if, so, therefore, consequently, thus, as a result, for this reason, because, since Paragraph-level transitions  Paragraph-level transitions usually link the first sentence of a new paragraph with the first sentence of the previous paragraph. In other words, the topic sentences signal global connections. Look for opportunities to allude to the subject of a previ- ous paragraph (as summed up in its topic sentence) in the topic ­sentence of the next one. In his essay “Little Green Lies,” Jonathan H. Alder uses this strategy in the following topic sentences, which appear in a passage describing the benefits of plastic packaging. Consider aseptic packaging, the synthetic packaging for the “juice boxes” so many children bring to school with their lunch. One criticism of aseptic packaging is that it is nearly impossible to recycle, yet on almost every other count, aseptic packaging is environmentally preferable to the packaging alternatives. Not only do aseptic containers not require refrigeration to keep their contents from spoiling, but their manufacture requires less than one-10th the energy of making glass bottles. What is true for juice boxes is also true for other forms of synthetic packaging. The use of polystyrene, which is commonly (and mistakenly) referred to as “Styrofoam,” can reduce food waste dramatically due to its insulating properties. (Thanks to these properties, polystyrene cups are much preferred over paper for that morning cup of coffee.) Polystyrene also requires significantly fewer resources to produce than its paper counterpart. practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  The writing process  >  4–3 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 65 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 66 4e Writing paragraphs Transitions between blocks of text  In long essays, you will need to alert readers to connections between blocks of text that are more than one paragraph long. You can do this by inserting transitional sentences or short paragraphs at key points in the essay. Here, for example, is a transitional paragraph from a student research paper. It announces that the first part of the paper has come to a close and the second part is about to begin. Although the great apes have demonstrated significant language skills, one central question remains: Can they be taught to use that uniquely human language tool we call grammar, to learn the difference, for instance, between “ape bite human” and “human bite ape”? In other words, can an ape create a sentence? Another strategy to help readers move from one block of text to another is to insert headings in your essay. Headings, which usually sit above blocks of text, allow you to announce a new topic boldly, without the need for subtle transitions. (See 50b.) 4e  If necessary, adjust paragraph length. Most readers feel comfortable reading paragraphs that range be- tween one hundred and two hundred words. Shorter paragraphs require too much starting and stopping, and longer ones strain readers’ attention span. There are exceptions to this guideline, however. Paragraphs longer than two hundred words frequently appear in scholarly writing, where scholars explore complex ideas. Paragraphs shorter than one hundred words occur in newspapers because of narrow columns; in informal essays to quicken the pace; and in business writing and Web sites, where readers rou- tinely skim for main ideas. In an essay, the first and last paragraphs will ordinarily be the introduction and the conclusion. These special-purpose para- graphs are likely to be shorter than the paragraphs in the body of the essay. Typically, the body paragraphs will follow the essay’s outline: one paragraph per point in short essays, several para- graphs per point in longer ones. Some ideas require more devel- opment than others, however, so it is best to be flexible. If an idea stretches to a length unreasonable for a paragraph, you should 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 66 7/26/11 9:59 AM par transitions • paragraph length 4e 67 Revising with comments Need a transition unDerStanDinG tHe coMMent When readers point out that you “need a transition,” the comment often signals that they need bridges — transitional words — to follow the progression from one idea to the next. In this body paragraph,   The United States of America is one  a student responded of many countries in the world that were  to an assignment that created by immigration. This essential  asked him to analyze a central feature of characteristic is perhaps America’s greatest  American identity. weakness and its greatest strength. Our  country has the potential to be swallowed  up by the diverse beliefs, values, and social  practices of its immigrants so that nothing is  common to anyone. America can benefit  from embracing the amazing cultural  Need a diversity within itself. transition Transitional words or phrases help readers follow the connections be- tween sentences and ideas. To revise, the student might begin by asking: What idea is expressed in each sentence? Does each sentence point clearly back to the previous one? If not, what words or phrases might be added to help readers see how one idea moves to the next? The answers to these questions will help the student recognize that his last two sentences contrast with each other (one about weaknesses, one about strengths) but that he needs to provide a transitional word or phrase, such as however, before the last sentence to make the contrast clear. SiMilar coMMentS: something missing? � missing connection � transition? reviSinG WHen YOU neeD a tranSition betWeen SentenceS 1. Read your paragraph aloud to a peer or a tutor. Ask your listeners what is missing between sentences that would help them follow the progression from one idea to the next. 2. Ask questions. What words or phrases might be added to help readers move from sentence to sentence? For instance, do you need transitions to show addition (furthermore), to give examples (specifically ), to compare (similarly), to contrast (however), or to summarize (in summary)? 3. Revise with an appropriate transition to show connections between ideas. More help with transitions: pages 64–66 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 67 7/26/11 9:59 AM par 68 4e Writing paragraphs divide the paragraph, even if you have presented comparable points in the essay in single paragraphs. Paragraph breaks are not always made for strictly logical rea- sons. Writers use them for the following reasons as well. reasons for beginning a new paragraph • to mark off the introduction and the conclusion • to signal a shift to a new idea • to indicate an important shift in time or place • to emphasize a point (by placing it at the beginning or the end, not in the middle, of a paragraph) • to highlight a contrast • to signal a change of speakers (in dialogue) • to provide readers with a needed pause • to break up text that looks too dense Beware of using too many short, choppy paragraphs, how- ever. Readers want to see how your ideas connect, and they be- come irritated when you break their momentum by forcing them to pause every few sentences. Here are some reasons you might have for combining some of the paragraphs in a rough draft. reasons for combining paragraphs • to clarify the essay’s organization • to connect closely related ideas • to bind together text that looks too choppy 02_7813_Part1_001-068.indd 68 7/26/11 9:59 AM Academic Writing Academic Writing 03_7813_Tab2_T2a-T2b.indd 1 7/7/11 4:56 PM Academic Writing,  69 5 Writing about texts, 70 c Establishing credibility and a Reading actively: stating your position, 86 Annotating the text, 70 d Backing up your thesis SAMPLE ANNOTATED with persuasive lines of ARTICLE, 72 argument, 87 SAMPLE ANNOTATED e Supporting your claims ADVERTISEMENT, 73 with specific evidence, 88 b Sketching an outline, 74 f Anticipating objections; c Summarizing countering opposing to demonstrate arguments, 93 understanding, 76 g Building common ground, Pages 69–110 d Analyzing to demonstrate 93 critical thinking, 77 h Sample argument paper, 95 e Sample student essay: SAMPLE ARGUMENT paper, 96 Analysis of an article, 79 SAMPLE ANALYSIS OF AN 7 Evaluating arguments, 102 ARTICLE, 80 a Distinguishing between reasonable and fallacious 6 Constructing reasonable argumentative tactics, 102 arguments, 84 b Distinguishing between a Examining your issue’s legitimate and unfair social and intellectual emotional appeals, 108 contexts, 85 c Judging how fairly a writer b Viewing your audience as a handles opposing views, panel of jurors, 86 109 03_7813_Tab2_T2a-T2b.indd 2 7/7/11 4:56 PM Academic Writing 5 Writing about texts, 70 STUDENT ESSAY: ANALYSIS OF AN ARTICLE, 80 6 Constructing reasonable arguments, 84 STUDENT PAPER: ARGUMENT, 96 7 Evaluating arguments, 102 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 69 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts 70 5 Writing about texts 5 Writing about texts The word texts can refer to a variety of works, including essays, articles, government reports, books, Web sites, advertisements, and photographs. Most assignments that ask you to respond to a text call for a summary or an analysis or both. A summary is neutral in tone and demonstrates that you have understood the author’s key ideas. Assignments calling for an analysis of a text vary widely, but they usually ask you to look at how the text’s parts contribute to its central argument or pur- pose, often with the aim of judging its evidence or overall effect. When you write about a text, you will need to read it — or, in the case of a visual text, view it — several times to discover mean- ing. Two techniques will help you move beyond a superficial first reading: (1) annotating the text with your observations and ques- tions and (2) outlining the text’s key points. These techniques will help you analyze both written and visual texts. 5a Read actively: Annotate the text. Read actively by jotting down your questions and thoughts in a notebook or in the margins of the text or visual. Use a pencil instead of a highlighter; with a pencil you can underline key con- cepts, mark points, or circle elements that intrigue you. If you change your mind, you can erase your early annotations and replace them with new ones. To annotate an electronic docu- ment, take notes in a separate file or use software features to highlight, underline, or insert comments. As you write Using the guidelines for active reading on page 71, annotate an assigned text. Pay particular attention to what surprises or intrigues you about the text and what you notice on a second reading. How do your annotations help you understand the text? If you could talk with the author of the text, what one or two questions would you pose? ThE WRITING cENTER hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Resources for writers and tutors > Tips from writing tutors: Benefits of reading 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 70 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts taking notes  •  marking up a text  •  active reading  •  critical reading 5a 71 Guidelines for active reading Identify the basic features and structure of a text. ●● What kind of text are you reading: An essay? An editorial? A scholarly article? An advertisement? A photograph? A Web site? ●● What is the author’s purpose: To inform? To persuade? To call to action? ●● Who is the audience? How does the author appeal to the audience? ●● What is the author’s thesis? What question does the text attempt to answer? ●● What evidence does the author provide to support the thesis? ●● What key terms does the author define? Note details that surprise, puzzle, or intrigue you. ●● Has the author revealed a fact or made a point that counters your assumptions? Is anything surprising? ●● Has the author made a generalization you disagree with? Can you think of evidence that would challenge the generalization? ●● Do you see any contradictions or inconsistencies in the text? ●● Does the text contain words, statements, or phrases that you don’t understand? If so, what reference materials do you need to consult? Read and reread to discover meaning. ●● What do you notice on a second or third reading that you didn’t notice earlier? ●● Does the text raise questions that it does not resolve? ●● If you could address the author directly, what questions would you pose? Where do you agree and disagree with the author? Why? Apply additional critical thinking strategies to visual texts. ●● What first strikes you about the visual text? What elements do you notice immediately? ●● Who or what is the main subject of the visual text? ●● What colors and textures dominate? ●● What is in the background? In the foreground? ●● What role, if any, do words or numbers play in the text? ●● When was the visual created or the information collected? 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 71 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts 72 5a Writing about texts On this page and on page 73 are an article from CQ Re- searcher, a newsletter about social and political issues, and an advertisement, both annotated by students. The students, Emilia Sanchez and Ren Yoshida, were assigned to analyze these texts. They began by reading actively. ANNOTATED ARTIcLE Big Box Stores Are Bad for Main Street BETSY TAYLOR There is plenty of reason to be concerned about the prolifera- Opening  tion of Wal-Marts and other so-called “big box” stores. The strategy — question, however, is not whether or not these types of stores the problem  create jobs (although several studies claim they produce a net is not x, it’s y. job loss in local communities) or whether they ultimately save Sentimental — consumers money. The real concern about having a 25-acre what is a  slab of concrete with a 100,000 square foot box of stuff land on community’s  a town is whether it’s good for a community’s soul. soul? The worst thing about “big boxes” is that they have a tendency Lumps all big  to produce Ross Perot’s famous “big sucking sound” — sucking boxes together.  the life out of cities and small towns across the country. On the other hand, small businesses are great for a community. They Assumes  offer more personal service; they won’t threaten to pack up and all small leave town if they don’t get tax breaks, free roads and other blan- businesses  dishments; and small-business owners are much more responsive are attentive. to a customer’s needs. (Ever try to complain about bad service or Logic problem?  poor quality products to the president of Home Depot?) Why couldn’t  Yet, if big boxes are so bad, why are they so successful? customer com- One glaring reason is that we’ve become a nation of hyper- plain to store  consumers, and the big-box boys know this. Downtown manager ? shopping districts comprised of small businesses take some of True? the efficiency out of overconsumption. There’s all that hassle of having to travel from store to store, and having to pull out your credit card so many times. Occasionally, we even find Taylor wishes  ourselves chatting with the shopkeeper, wandering into a cof- for a time that  fee shop to visit with a friend or otherwise wasting precious is long gone or  time that could be spent on acquiring more stuff. never was. But let’s face it — bustling, thriving city centers are fun. They breathe life into a community. They allow cities and Community vs.  towns to stand out from each other. They provide an atmo- economy. What  sphere for people to interact with each other that just cannot about prices? be found at Target, or Wal-Mart or Home Depot. Is it anti-American to be against having a retail giant set up Ends with shop in one’s community? Some people would say so. On the emotional  other hand, if you board up Main Street, what’s left of America? appeal. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 72 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts article with notes • ad with notes 5a 73 ANNOTATED ADvERTISEMENT What is being exchanged? “Empowering” — why in an elegant  font? Who is empowering farmers? “Farmers” in all capital  letters — shows strength? Straightforward design and not  much text. Outstretched hands. Is she giving  a gift? Inviting a partnership? Raw coffee is earthy, natural. Positive verbs: consumers choose,  join, empower; farmers stay, care,  farm, support, plan. Source: Equal Exchange. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 73 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts 74 5b Writing about texts 5b  Sketch a brief outline of the text. After reading, rereading, and annotating a text, try to outline it. Seeing how the author has constructed a text can help you ­understand it. As you sketch an outline, pay special attention to the text’s thesis (central idea) and its topic sentences. The thesis of a written text usually appears in the introduction, often in the first or second paragraph. Topic sentences can be found at the be- ginnings of most body paragraphs, where they announce a shift to a new topic. (See 2a and 4a.) In your outline, put the author’s thesis and key points in your own words. Here, for example, is the outline that Emilia Sanchez developed as she prepared to write her summary and analysis of the text on page 72. Notice that Sanchez’s informal outline does not trace the author’s ideas paragraph by paragraph; instead, it sums up the article’s key points. OUTLINE OF “BIG BOX STORES ARE BAD FOR MAIN STREET” Thesis: Whether or not they take jobs away from a community or offer low prices to consumers, we should be worried about “big-box” stores like Wal-Mart, Target, and Home Depot because they harm communities by taking the life out of downtown shopping districts. I. Small businesses are better for cities and towns than big-box stores are. A. Small businesses offer personal service, but big-box stores do not. B. Small businesses don’t make demands on community resources as big-box stores do. C. Small businesses respond to customer concerns, but big-box stores do not. II. Big-box stores are successful because they cater to consumption at the expense of benefits to the community. A. Buying everything in one place is convenient. B. Shopping at small businesses may be inefficient, but it provides opportunities for socializing. C. Downtown shopping districts give each city or town a special identity. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 74 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts outlining  •  mapping  •  identifying a central idea 5b 75 Conclusion: Although some people say that it’s anti-American to oppose big-box stores, actually these stores threaten the communities that make up America by encouraging buying at the expense of the traditional interactions of Main Street. A visual often doesn’t state an explicit thesis or an explicit line of reasoning. Instead, you must sometimes infer the mean- ing beneath the image’s surface and interpret its central point and supporting ideas from the elements of its design. One way to outline a visual text is to try to define its purpose and sketch a list of its key elements. Here, for example, are the key fea- tures that Ren Yoshida identified for the advertisement printed on page 73. Note that the student is able to draw a preliminary conclusion about the advertisement. Outline of Equal Exchange Advertisement Purpose: To persuade readers that they can improve the lives of organic farmers and their families by purchasing Equal Exchange coffee. Key features: • The farmer ’s heart-shaped hands are outstretched, offering the viewer partnership and the product of her hard work. • The raw coffee is surprisingly fruitlike and fresh—natural and healthy looking. • Words above and below the photograph describe the equal exchange between farmers and consumers. • Consumer support leads to a higher quality of life for the farmers and for all people, since these farmers care for the environment and plan for the future. • The simplicity of the design echoes the simplicity of the exchange. The consumer only has to buy a cup of coffee to make a difference. Conclusion: Equal Exchange is selling more than a product— coffee. It is selling the idea that together farmers and consumers hold the future of land, environment, farms, and family in their hands. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 75 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts 76 5c Writing about texts 5c Summarize to demonstrate your understanding. Your goal in summarizing a text is to state Making the most of the work’s main ideas and key points simply, your handbook briefly, and accurately in your own words. Summarizing is a key research skill. Writing a summary does not require you ▶ Summarizing without to judge the author’s ideas; it requires you plagiarizing: 55c to understand the author’s ideas. If you have ▶ Putting summaries and paraphrases in sketched a brief outline of the text (see 5b), your own words: 57c, refer to it as you draft your summary. 62c To summarize a written text, first find the author’s central idea — the thesis. Then divide the whole piece into a few major and perhaps minor ideas. Since a sum- mary must be fairly short, you must make judgments about what is most important. Guidelines for writing a summary ●● In the first sentence, mention the title of the text, the name of the author, and the author’s thesis or the visual’s central point. ●● Maintain a neutral tone; be objective. ●● As you present the author’s ideas, use the third-person point of view and the present tense: Taylor argues. . . . (If you are writing in APA style, see 62c.) ●● Keep your focus on the text. Don’t state the author’s ideas as if they were your own. ●● Put all or most of your summary in your own words; if you borrow a phrase or a sentence from the text, put it in quotation marks and give the page number in parentheses. ●● Limit yourself to presenting the text’s key points. ●● Be concise; make every word count. To summarize a visual text, begin with essential informa- tion such as who created the visual, who the intended audience is, where the visual appeared, and when it was created. Briefly explain the visual’s main point or purpose and identify its key features (see p. 75). Following is Emilia Sanchez’s summary of the article that is printed on page 72. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 76 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts summarizing • using your own words • analyzing • interpreting • including your ideas 5d 77 In her essay “Big Box Stores Are Bad for Main Street,” Betsy Taylor argues that chain stores harm communities by taking the life out of downtown shopping districts. Explaining that a community’s “soul” is more important than low prices or consumer convenience, she argues that small businesses are better than stores like Home Depot and Target because they emphasize personal interactions and don’t place demands on a community’s resources. Taylor asserts that big-box stores are successful because “we’ve become a nation of hyper-consumers” (1011), although the convenience of shopping in these stores comes at the expense of benefits to the community. She concludes by suggesting that it’s not “anti-American” to oppose big-box stores because the damage they inflict on downtown shopping districts extends to America itself. — Emilia Sanchez, student 5d Analyze to demonstrate your critical thinking. Whereas a summary most often an- Making the most of swers the question of what a text says, your handbook an analysis looks at how a text makes When you analyze a text, you weave words and ideas from its point. the source into your own Typically, an analysis takes the writing. form of an essay that makes its own ▶ Guidelines for using quotation marks: 55c argument about a text. Include an in- ▶ Quoting or paraphrasing: troduction that briefly summarizes 57, 62 ▶ Using signal phrases: 58b, the text, a thesis that states your own 63b judgment about the text, and body paragraphs that support your thesis with evidence. If you are analyzing a visual, examine it as a whole and then reflect on how the individual elements contribute to its overall meaning. If you have written a summary of the text or visual, you may find it useful to refer to the main points of the summary as you write your analysis. Using interpretation in an analysis Student writer Emilia Sanchez begins her essay about Betsy Taylor’s article (see p. 72) by summarizing Taylor’s argument. She 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 77 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts 78 5d Writing about texts Revising with comments Summarize less, analyze more UNDERSTANDING ThE cOMMENT When readers point out that you need to “summarize less, analyze more,” the comment often signals that they want to hear your interpretation of a text, not a summary of the text itself. One student Growing up as a borderlander, I have wrote this body always considered myself bilingual. Reading paragraph in “How to Tame a Wild Tongue” by Gloria response to an assignment that Anzaldúa made me rethink that label. In the asked students “El lenguaje de la frontera” section of the to analyze Gloria essay, Anzaldúa explains the origins of Chicano Anzaldúa’s essay Spanish, a “border tongue” (326). Then she “How to Tame a Wild Tongue.” says that most Chicanos actually speak as many as eight languages. Anzaldúa lists these languages and then tells which languages she speaks with which people in her life. Summarize For example, she speaks Tex-Mex with less, friends, Chicano Texas Spanish with her analyze mother, and working-class English at school more (327). Finally, she talks about her experience with speaking made-up languages. The student writer needs to go beyond summary to offer his insights about Anzaldúa’s text. To revise this paragraph, the student might begin by underlining the verbs in his own sentences: explains, says, lists, tells, and talks. These sentences simply restate what Anzaldúa has written. Although the student may need to summarize briefly, he should move quickly to exploring the meaning of the text. In his analysis, the student might ask questions about Anzaldúa’s strategies. For instance, why does she combine Spanish with English? Or why does she list the eight sepa- rate languages that most Chicanos speak? SIMILAR cOMMENTS: too much summary � show, don’t tell � go deeper REvISING WhEN YOU NEED TO SUMMARIZE LESS AND ANALYZE MORE 1. Reread your paragraph and highlight the sentences that summa- rize. Then, in a different color, highlight the sentences that contain your analysis. (Think about the differences between summary and analysis: Summary answers the question of what a text says; analysis offers a judgment or an interpretation of the text.) 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 78 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts sample analysis paper 5e 79 2. Reread the text (or passages of the text) that you are analyzing, ­paying attention to the language and structure of the text. 3. Ask questions. What strategies does the author use? How do these strategies convey the meaning of the text? What insights can you convey to your readers about the text? How can you deepen your readers’ understanding of the text? More advice on analyzing a text: 5d and 66b then states her own thesis, or claim, which offers her judgment of Taylor’s article, and begins her analysis. In her first body para- graph, Sanchez interprets Taylor’s use of language. Topic Taylor ’s use of colorful language reveals that sentence includes she has a sentimental view of American society Signal phrase Sanchez’s introduces a claim. and does not understand economic realities. quotation from Quoted In her first paragraph, Taylor refers to a big- the text. material Quotation shows box store as a “25-acre slab of concrete with a is followed Taylor’s 100,000 square foot box of stuff” that “land[s] by Sanchez’s language interpretation of and is placed on a town,” evoking images of a powerful monster Taylor’s language. in quotation marks. crushing the American way of life (1011). But she Transition to Sanchez’s next oversimplifies a complex issue. Taylor does not point. consider. . . . 5e  Sample student essay: Analysis of an article Beginning on page 80 is Emilia Sanchez’s analysis of the article by Betsy Taylor (see p. 72). Sanchez used Modern Language ­Association (MLA) style to format her paper and cite the source. MODELS  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Model papers > MLA analysis papers: Sanchez; Lee; Lopez 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 79 8/3/11 5:46 PM texts 80 5e Writing about texts Sanchez 1 Emilia Sanchez Professor Goodwin English 10 23 October 2009 Rethinking Big-Box Stores Opening briefly In her essay “Big Box Stores Are Bad for Main summarizes the article’s purpose Street,” Betsy Taylor focuses not on the economic effects and thesis. of large chain stores but on the effects these stores have on the “soul” of America. She argues that stores like Home Depot, Target, and Wal-Mart are bad for America because they draw people out of downtown shopping districts and cause them to focus on consumption. In contrast, she believes that small businesses are good for America because they provide personal attention, encourage community interaction, and make each city Sanchez begins to and town unique. But Taylor ’s argument is unconvincing analyze Taylor’s argument. because it is based on sentimentality—on idealized images of a quaint Main Street—rather than on the roles that businesses play in consumers’ lives and communities. Thesis expresses By ignoring the complex economic relationship between Sanchez’s judgment of large chain stores and their communities, Taylor Taylor’s article. incorrectly assumes that simply getting rid of big- box stores would have a positive effect on America’s communities. Taylor ’s use of colorful language reveals that she has a sentimental view of American society and does not Signal phrase understand economic realities. In her first paragraph, Taylor introduces quotations from refers to a big-box store as a “25-acre slab of concrete the source; with a 100,000 square foot box of stuff ” that “land[s] on Sanchez uses an MLA in-text a town,” evoking images of a powerful monster crushing citation. the American way of life (1011). But she oversimplifies Marginal annotations indicate MLA-style formatting and effective writing. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 80 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts sample analysis paper 5e 81 Sanchez 2 a complex issue. Taylor does not consider that many downtown business districts failed long before chain stores Sanchez begins to identify and moved in, when factories and mills closed and workers lost challenge Taylor’s their jobs. In cities with struggling economies, big-box assumptions. stores can actually provide much-needed jobs. Similarly, Transition to another point in while Taylor blames big-box stores for harming local Sanchez’s analysis. economies by asking for tax breaks, free roads, and other perks, she doesn’t acknowledge that these stores also enter into economic partnerships with the surrounding communities by offering financial benefits to schools and hospitals. Taylor ’s assumption that shopping in small Clear topic sentence businesses is always better for the customer also seems announces a shift driven by nostalgia for an old-fashioned Main Street to a new topic. rather than by the facts. While she may be right that many small businesses offer personal service and are responsive to customer complaints, she does not consider that many customers appreciate the service at big-box Sanchez refutes Taylor’s claim. stores. Just as customer service is better at some small businesses than at others, it is impossible to generalize about service at all big-box stores. For example, customers depend on the lenient return policies and the wide variety of products at stores like Target and Home Depot. Taylor blames big-box stores for encouraging American “hyper-consumerism,” but she oversimplifies by equating big-box stores with bad values and small businesses with good values. Like her other points, this claim ignores the economic and social realities of American society today. Big-box stores do not force Americans to buy more. By offering lower prices in a convenient setting, however, 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 81 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts 82 5e Writing about texts Sanchez 3 they allow consumers to save time and purchase goods they might not be able to afford from small businesses. The existence of more small businesses would not change what most Americans can afford, nor would it reduce their desire to buy affordable merchandise. Sanchez treats the Taylor may be right that some big-box stores have a author fairly. negative impact on communities and that small businesses offer certain advantages. But she ignores the economic conditions that support big-box stores as well as the fact Conclusion that Main Street was in decline before the big-box store returns to the thesis and arrived. Getting rid of big-box stores will not bring back a shows the wider simpler America populated by thriving, unique Main Streets; significance of Sanchez’s analysis. in reality, Main Street will not survive if consumers cannot afford to shop there. Sanchez 4 Work Cited Work cited page is Taylor, Betsy. “Big Box Stores Are Bad for Main Street.” CQ in MLA style. Researcher 9.44 (1999): 1011. Print. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 82 7/26/11 9:59 AM texts sample analysis paper • analyzing • finding meaning 5e 83 Guidelines for analyzing a text Written texts Instructors who ask you to analyze an essay or an article often expect you to address some of the following questions. ●● What is the author’s thesis or central idea? Who is the audience? ●● What questions (stated or unstated) does the author address? ●● How does the author structure the text? What are the key parts, and how do they relate to one another and to the thesis? ●● What strategies has the author used to generate interest in the argument and to persuade readers of its merit? ●● What evidence does the author use to support the thesis? How persuasive is the evidence? (See 6d and 6e.) ●● Does the author anticipate objections and counter opposing views? (See 6f.) ●● Does the author use any faulty reasoning? (See 7a.) Visual texts If you are analyzing a visual text, the following additional questions will help you evaluate an image’s purpose and meaning. ●● What confuses, surprises, or intrigues you about the image? ●● What is the source of the visual, and who created it? What is its purpose? ●● What clues suggest the visual text’s intended audience? How does the image appeal to its audience? ●● If the text is an advertisement, what product is it selling? Does it attempt to sell an idea or a message as well? ●● If the visual text includes words, how do the words contribute to the meaning? ●● How do design elements — colors, shapes, perspective, back- ground, foreground — help convey the visual text’s meaning or serve its purpose? As you write Using the guidelines for analyzing visual texts on this page, study a visual of your choice — for example, a photograph, a cartoon, or an advertisement. Use the guidelines to help you determine the visual’s purpose and meaning. Discuss your observations with a classmate. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 83 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 84 6 Writing arguments 6 Constructing reasonable arguments In writing an argument, you take a stand on a debatable issue. The question being debated might be a matter of public policy: Should companies be allowed to advertise on public school property? What is the least dangerous way to dispose of hazardous waste? Should motorists be banned from texting while driving? Should a state limit the number of charter schools? On such questions, reasonable people may disagree. Reasonable men and women also disagree about many scholarly issues. Psychologists debate the role of genes and environment in determining behavior; historians interpret the causes of the Civil War quite differently; biologists challenge one another’s predictions about the effects of global warming. When you construct a reasonable argument, your goal is not simply to win or to have the last word. Your aim is to explain your understanding of the truth about a subject or to propose the best Academic English Some cultures value writers who argue with force; other cultures value writers who argue subtly or indirectly. Academic audiences in the United States will expect your writing to be assertive and confident — neither aggressive nor passive. You can create an assertive tone by acknowledging different positions and supporting your ideas with specific evidence. TOO Of course only registered organ donors should AGGRESSIvE be eligible for organ transplants. It’s selfish and shortsighted to think otherwise. TOO PASSIvE I might be wrong, but I think that maybe people should have to register as organ donors if they want to be considered for a transplant. ASSERTIvE If only registered organ donors are eligible for transplants, more people will register as donors. If you are uncertain about the tone of your work, ask for help at your school’s writing center. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 84 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg argument • tone • debate • context 6a 85 solution to a problem — without being needlessly combative. In constructing your argument, you join a conversation with other writers and readers. Your aim is to convince readers to recon- sider their positions by offering new reasons to question existing viewpoints. 6a Examine your issue’s social and intellectual contexts. Arguments appear in social and intellectual contexts. Public policy debates arise in social contexts and are conducted among groups with competing values and interests. For example, the debate over offshore oil drilling has been renewed in the United States in light of skyrocketing energy costs and terrorism concerns — with environmentalists, policymakers, oil company executives, and consumers all weighing in on the argument. Most public policy debates also have intellectual dimensions that address scientific or theoretical questions. In the case of the drilling issue, geologists, oceanographers, and economists all contribute their expertise. Scholarly debates play out in intellectual contexts, but they have a social dimension as well. For example, scholars respond to the contributions of other specialists in the field, often building on others’ views and refining them, but at times challenging them. Because many of your readers will be aware of the social and intel- Making the most of your handbook lectual contexts in which your issue is Supporting your claims grounded, you will be at a disadvan- with evidence from sources strengthens your argument. tage if you are not informed. That’s ▶ Conducting research: 53 why it is a good idea to conduct some research before preparing your argument; consulting even a few sources can deepen your understanding of the debates surround- ing your topic. For example, the student whose paper appears on pages 96–101 became more knowledgeable about his issue — the shift from print to online news — after reading and annotating a few sources. As you write Select a public policy debate and locate two documents arguing different sides of the debate. Briefly summarize the opposing positions. Which position seems more reasonable to you? Which author seems more credible? Why? Join the conversation by writing a letter to one of the authors to explain your position in the debate. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 85 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 86 6b Writing arguments 6b View your audience as a panel of jurors. Do not assume that your audience already agrees with you; instead, envision skeptical readers who, like a panel of jurors, will make up their minds after listening to all sides of the argument. If you are arguing a public policy issue, aim your paper at readers who represent a variety of positions. In the case of the debate over offshore drilling, for example, imagine a jury that represents those who have a stake in the matter: environmentalists, policymakers, oil company executives, and consumers. At times, you can deliberately narrow your audience. If you are working within a word limit, for example, you might not have the space in which to address all the concerns surrounding the offshore drilling debate. Or you might be primarily interested in reaching one segment of a general audience, such as consumers. In such instances, you can still view your audience as a panel of jurors; the jury will simply be a less diverse group. In the case of scholarly debates, you will be addressing read- ers who share your interest in a discipline, such as literature or psychology. Such readers belong to a group with an agreed-upon way of investigating and talking about issues. Though they gen- erally agree about disciplinary methods of asking questions and share specialized vocabulary, scholars in an academic discipline often disagree about particular issues. Once you see how they disagree about your issue, you should be able to imagine a jury that reflects the variety of positions they hold. 6c In your introduction, establish credibility and state your position. When you are constructing an argu- Making the most of ment, make sure your introduction your handbook contains a thesis that states your po- When you write an argument, sition on the issue you have chosen to you state your position in a thesis. debate. In the sentences leading up ▶ Writing effective thesis to the thesis, establish your credibil- statements: 1c, 2a ity with readers by showing that you are knowledgeable about the issue and fair-minded. If possible, build common ground with readers who may not at first agree with your views, and show them why they should consider your thesis. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 86 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg tone  •  audience  •  introduction  •   thesis  •  main idea  •  support 6d 87 In the following introduction, student Kevin Smith presents himself as someone worth listening to. Because Smith introduces both sides of the debate, readers are likely to approach his essay with an open mind. Smith shows Although the Supreme Court has ruled against that he is prayer in public schools on First Amendment familiar grounds, many people still feel that prayer should with the legal issues be allowed. Such people value prayer as a practice Smith is fair-minded, central to their faith and believe that prayer is a presenting the views surrounding of both sides. school way for schools to reinforce moral principles. They prayer. also compellingly point out a paradox in the First Amendment itself: at what point does the separation of church and state restrict the freedom of those who wish to practice their religion? What proponents of school prayer fail to realize, however, is that the Supreme Court’s decision, although it was made on legal grounds, makes sense on religious grounds as Smith’s thesis builds well. Prayer is too important to be trusted to our common ground. public schools. — Kevin Smith, student TIP: A good way to test a thesis while drafting and revising is to imagine a counterargument to your argument (see 6f). If you can’t think of an opposing point of view, rethink your thesis and ask a classmate or writing center tutor to respond to your argument. 6d  Back up your thesis with persuasive lines of argument. Arguments of any complexity contain lines of argument that, when taken together, might reasonably persuade readers that the thesis has merit. The following, for example, are the main lines of argument that Sam Jacobs used in his paper about the shift from print to online news (see pp. 96–101). Central claim Thesis: The shift from print to online news provides unprecedented opportunities for readers to become more engaged with the news, to hold journalists accountable, and to participate as producers, not simply as consumers. (continued) THE WRITING CENTER  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Resources for writers and tutors  >  Tips from writing tutors:  Writing assignments;  Writing essays in English 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 87 8/3/11 5:46 PM arg 88 6e Writing arguments SUPPORTING • Print news has traditionally had a one-sided cLAIMS relationship with its readers, delivering information for passive consumption. • Online news invites readers to participate in a collaborative process—to question and even contribute to the content. • Links within news stories provide transparency, allowing readers to move easily from the main story to original sources, related articles, or background materials. • Technology has made it possible for readers to become news producers—posting text, audio, images, and video of news events. • Citizen journalists can provide valuable information, sometimes more quickly than traditional journalists can. If you sum up your main lines of argument, as Jacobs did, you will have a rough outline of your essay. In your paper, you will provide evidence for each of your claims. As you write Study Sam Jacobs’s line of argument above. Draft an outline of your central claim and supporting claims, as he did. Ask a classmate to comment on the effectiveness of your thesis and claims. Do you have enough support for your thesis? Are your claims persuasive? 6e Support your claims with specific evidence. You will need to support your central Making the most of claim and any subordinate claims with your handbook evidence: facts, statistics, examples and Sources, when used responsibly, can provide illustrations, visuals, expert opinion, and supporting evidence. so on. Most debatable topics require that ▶ Paraphrasing, you consult some written sources. As you summarizing, and quoting sources: 55c read through the sources, you will learn ▶ Punctuating direct more about the arguments and counter- quotations: 37a ▶ Citing sources: 57a, 62a arguments at the center of your debate. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 88 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg support  •  evidence  •  facts  •  statistics  •  examples  •  illustrations 6e 89 Remember that you must document your sources. Docu- mentation gives credit to the authors and shows readers how to locate a source in case they want to assess its credibility or ­explore the issues further. Using facts and statistics A fact is something that is known with certainty because it has been objectively verified: The capital of Wyoming is Cheyenne. Carbon has an atomic weight of 12. John F. Kennedy was assassi- nated on ­November 22, 1963. Statistics are collections of numeri- cal facts: ­Alcohol abuse is a factor in nearly 40 percent of traffic fatalities. More than four in ten businesses in the United States are owned by women. Most arguments are supported at least to some extent by facts and statistics. For example, in the following passage the writer uses statistics to show that college students are granted ­unreasonably high credit limits. A 2009 study by Sallie Mae revealed that undergraduates are carrying record-high credit card balances and are relying on credit cards more than ever, especially in the economic downturn. The average credit card debt per college undergraduate is $3,173, and 82 percent of undergraduates carry balances and incur finance charges each month (Sallie Mae). Writers often use statistics in selective ways to bolster their own positions. If you suspect that a writer’s handling of statistics is not quite fair, track down the original sources for those statis- tics or read authors with opposing views, who may give you a fuller understanding of the numbers. Using examples and illustrations Examples and illustrations (extended examples, often in story form) rarely prove a point by themselves, but when used in com- bination with other forms of evidence they flesh out an argument with details and specific instances and bring it to life. Because examples are often concrete and sometimes vivid, they can reach readers in ways that statistics and abstract ideas cannot. In a paper arguing that online news provides opportunities for readers that print news does not, Sam Jacobs describes how regular citizens armed with only cell phones and laptops helped save lives during Hurricane Katrina by relaying critical news updates. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 89 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 90 6e Writing arguments Using visuals Visuals — charts, graphs, diagrams, photographs — can support your argument by providing vivid and detailed evidence and by capturing your readers’ attention. Bar or line graphs, for instance, describe and organize complex statistical data; photographs can im- mediately and evocatively convey abstract ideas. Writers in almost every academic field use visual evidence to support their arguments or to counter opposing arguments. For example, to explain a conflict among Southeast Asian countries, a historian might choose a map to illustrate the geography and highlight particular issues. Or to refute another scholar’s hypothesis about the dangers of a vegetarian diet, a nutritionist might support her claims by using a table to organize and highlight detailed numerical information. (See pp. 24–25.) As you consider using visual evidence, ask yourself the fol- lowing questions: • Is the visual accurate, credible, and Making the most of relevant? your handbook Integrating visuals can • How will the visual appeal to readers? strengthen your writing. Logically? Ethically? Emotionally? ▶ Choosing appropriate visuals: page 407 • How will the visual evidence ▶ Placing and labeling function? Will it provide background visuals: page 407 ▶ Using visuals information? Present complex responsibly: page 408 numerical information or an abstract idea? Lend authority? Anticipate or refute counterarguments? Like all forms of evidence, visuals don’t speak for themselves; you’ll need to analyze and interpret the evidence to show readers how the visuals inform and support your argument. As you write Review an argument you are drafting. Analyze the types of evidence you selected. Have you varied the type of evidence? Could you strengthen your argument with more vivid or more detailed evidence? How might visual evidence, for example, lend authority to your argument and appeal to readers? Note what changes you might make to your evidence. Citing expert opinion Although they are no substitute for careful reasoning of your own, the views of an expert can contribute to the force of your argument. For example, to help him make the case that print 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 90 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg visuals (diagrams, charts, photos)  •  expert opinion  •  representing the other side  •  counterargument 6e 91 journalism has a one-sided relationship with its readers, Sam ­Jacobs integrates an expert’s key description: With the rise of the Internet, however, this one-sided relationship has been criticized by journalists such as Dan Gillmor, founder of the Center for Citizen Media, who argues that traditional print journalism treats “news as a lecture,” whereas online news is “more of a conversation” (xxiv). When you rely on expert opinion, make sure that your source is an expert in the field you are writing about. In some cases, you may need to provide credentials showing why your source is worth listening to. When including expert testimony in your paper, you can summarize or paraphrase the expert’s opinion or you can quote the expert’s exact words. You will of course need to document the source, as Jacobs did in the example just given. Anticipating and countering opposing arguments To anticipate a possible objection (see 6f) to your argument, con- sider the following questions: ●● Could a reasonable person draw a different conclusion from your facts or examples? ●● Might a reader question any of your assumptions? ●● Could a reader offer an alternative explanation of this issue? ●● Is there any evidence that might weaken your position? The following questions may help you respond to a reader’s potential objection: ●● Can you concede the point to the opposition but challenge the point’s importance or usefulness? ●● Can you explain why readers should consider a new perspective or question a piece of evidence? ●● Should you explain how your position responds to contradictory evidence? ●● Can you suggest a different interpretation of the evidence? When you write, use phrasing to signal to readers that you’re about to present an objection. Often the signal phrase can go in the lead sentence of a paragraph: Critics of this view argue that. . . . Some readers might point out that. . . . Researchers challenge these claims by. . . . 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 91 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 92 6e Writing arguments Revising with comments Develop more UNDERSTANDING ThE cOMMENT When readers suggest that you “develop more,” the comment often sig- nals that you stopped short of providing a full and detailed discussion of your idea. In this body paragraph, Distancing ourselves from our family a student responded is a natural part of growing up. There are to an assignment that many ways in which we try doing so. For asked her to explore one theme in Richard essayist Richard Rodriguez, it was his drive Rodriguez’s essay “The for academic success that separated him from Achievement of Desire.” his parents and his past (195). In his desire to become educated, he removed himself from his family and distanced himself from his Develop culture. In his essay “The Achievement of more Desire,” he admits regretting the separation from his family and acknowledges the particular challenges of growing up between two cultures. The student has not included enough evidence or developed a thor- ough analysis of that evidence. To revise, she might look for specific examples and details from Rodriguez’s essay to support her claim that Rodriguez “removed . . . and distanced himself ” from his family. Then she might develop the claim by analyzing how and why Rodriguez’s “desire to become educated” removed him from his family. SIMILAR cOMMENTS: undeveloped � give examples � explain REvISING WhEN YOU NEED TO DEvELOP MORE 1. Read your paragraph to a peer or a tutor and ask specific questions: What’s missing? Do readers need more background information or examples to understand your point? Do they need more evidence to be convinced? Is it clear what point you are making with your details? 2. Keep your purpose in mind. You aren’t being asked to restate what you’ve already written or what the author has written. 3. Think about why your main point matters to your readers. Take an- other look at your points and support, and answer the question “So what?” More advice on using specific evidence: 6e 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 92 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg representing the other side • counterargument • common ground 6g 93 6f Anticipate objections; counter opposing arguments. Readers who already agree with you need no convincing, but indifferent or skeptical readers may resist your arguments. To be willing to give up positions that seem reasonable to them, readers need to see that another position is even more reasonable. In ad- dition to presenting your own case, therefore, you should consider the opposing arguments and attempt to counter them. (See the box on p. 91.) It might seem at first that drawing attention to an oppos- ing point of view or contradictory evidence would weaken your argument. But by anticipating and countering objections, you show yourself as a reasonable and well-informed writer. You also establish your purpose, demonstrate the significance of the issue you are debating, and ultimately strengthen your argument. There is no best place in an essay to deal with opposing views. Often it is useful to summarize the opposing position early in your essay. After stating your thesis but before developing your own arguments, you might have a paragraph that addresses the most important counterargument. Or you can anticipate objections para- graph by paragraph as you develop your case. Wherever you decide to address opposing arguments, you will enhance your credibility if you explain the arguments of others accurately and fairly. As you write Exchange drafts with your classmates. Pose objections to their arguments, and invite them to pose objections to yours. Practice using the language of counterargument: “Some readers might point out . . . ” or “But isn’t it possible that . . . ?” What do you learn about the persuasiveness of your argument from hearing objections? Do you need to revise your thesis? Modify your position? Consider new evidence? Which counter- arguments would you need to address to convince readers that you are a reasonable and informed writer? 6g Build common ground. As you counter opposing arguments, try to seek out one or two assumptions you might share with readers who do not initially agree with your views. If you can show that you share their concerns, your readers may be more likely to acknowledge the 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 93 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 94 6g Writing arguments Revising with comments Consider opposing viewpoints UNDERSTANDING ThE cOMMENT When readers suggest that you “consider opposing viewpoints,” the comment often signals that you need to recognize and respond to possible objections to your argument. In response to an For many American workers, drug testing is assignment about a routine part of their working life. In her book changes in the Nickel and Dimed, Barbara Ehrenreich observes workplace, one student wrote this how random drug testing leads to a hostile work body paragraph. environment (128). In addition, researchers Shepard and Clifton have found that companies using drug-testing programs are likelier to have lower productivity levels than those that have not adopted such practices (1). Consider Drug testing in the workplace has shown opposing no benefits for employers or employees. viewpoints The student jumps to a conclusion too quickly without recognizing any opposing points of view. To revise, the student might begin by reading two or more sources to gain a different perspective and to learn more about the debate surrounding her topic. As she reads more sources, she might ask: What evidence do those in favor of drug testing provide to support their point of view? How would they respond to my conclusion against drug testing? By anticipating and countering opposing views, she will show herself as a fair and reasonable writer. SIMILAR cOMMENTS: what about the other side? � counterargument? REvISING WhEN YOU NEED TO cONSIDER OThER POINTS OF vIEW 1. Read more to learn about the debates surrounding the topic. Ask questions: Are there other sides to the issue? Would a reasonable person offer an alternative explanation for the evidence? 2. Be open-minded. Although it might seem counterintuitive to introduce opposing arguments, you’ll show your knowledge of the topic by recognizing that not everyone draws the same conclusion. 3. Introduce and counter objections with phrases like these: “Some read- ers might point out that . . .” or “Critics of this view argue that. . . .” 4. Revise your thesis, if necessary, to account for multiple points of view. More advice on considering opposing viewpoints: 6f and 7c 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 94 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg objections  •  common ground  •  sample argument paper 6h 95 validity of your argument. For example, to persuade people op- posed to controlling the deer population with a regulated hunt- ing season, a state wildlife commission would have to show that it too cares about preserving deer and does not want them to die needlessly. Having established these values in common, the com- mission might be able to persuade critics that reducing the total number of deer prevents starvation caused by overpopulation. People believe that intelligence and decency support their side of an argument. To be persuaded, they must see these qualities in your argument. Otherwise they will persist in their opposition. 6h  Sample argument paper In the paper that begins on the next page, student Sam Jacobs argues that the shift from print to online news benefits readers by providing them with new opportunities to produce news and to think more critically as consumers of news. Notice that he is careful to present opposing views fairly before providing his counterarguments. In writing the paper, Jacobs consulted both print and online sources. When he quotes or uses information from a source, he cites the source with an MLA (Modern Language Association) in-text citation. Citations in the paper refer readers to the list of works cited at the end of the paper. (For more details about citing sources, see 59.) MODELS  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Model papers  > MLA argument papers: Jacobs; Hammond; Lund; Sanghvi >  MLA research papers: Orlov; Daly; Levi 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 95 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 96 6h Writing arguments Jacobs 1 Sam Jacobs Professor Alperini English 101 19 March 2010 From Lecture to Conversation: Redefining What ’s “Fit to Print” “All the news that ’s fit to print,” the motto of the New York Times since 1896, plays with the word fit, asserting that a news story must be newsworthy and must In his opening not exceed the limits of the printed page. The increase sentences, Jacobs provides in online news consumption, however, challenges both background for meanings of the word fit, allowing producers and consumers his thesis. alike to rethink who decides which topics are worth covering and how extensive that coverage should be. Any cultural shift usually means that something is lost, but in this Thesis states the case there are clear gains. The shift from print to online main point. news provides unprecedented opportunities for readers to become more engaged with the news, to hold journalists accountable, and to participate as producers, not simply as consumers. Jacobs does not Guided by journalism’s code of ethics—accuracy, need a citation for common objectivity, and fairness—print news reporters have knowledge. gathered and delivered stories according to what editors decide is fit for their readers. Except for op-ed pages and letters to the editor, print news has traditionally had a one-sided relationship with its readers. The print news media’s reputation for objective reporting has been held up as “a stop sign” for readers, sending a clear message that no further inquiry is necessary (Weinberger). With the rise of the Internet, however, this model has been criticized by journalists such as Dan Gillmor, founder of the Center for Citizen Media, who argues that traditional print journalism Marginal annotations indicate MLA-style formatting and effective writing. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 96 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg sample argument paper 6h 97 Jacobs 2 treats “news as a lecture,” whereas online news is “more of a conversation” (xxiv). Print news arrives on the doorstep every morning as a fully formed lecture, a product created without participation from its readership. By contrast, online news invites readers to participate in a collaborative process—to question and even help produce the content. One of the most important advantages online news Transition moves from Jacobs’s main offers over print news is the presence of built-in hyperlinks, argument to specific which carry readers from one electronic document to examples. another. If readers are curious about the definition of a term, the roots of a story, or other perspectives on a topic, links provide a path. Links help readers become more critical consumers of information by engaging them in a totally new way. For instance, the link embedded in the story “Window into Fed Debate over a Crucial Program” (Healy) allows readers to find out more about the trends in consumer spending and to check the journalist’s handling of an original source (see Fig. 1). This kind of link gives readers the opportunity to conduct their own evaluation of the evidence and verify the journalist’s claims. Links provide a kind of transparency impossible in Jacobs clarifies key terms (transparency print because they allow readers to see through online and accountability). news to the “sources, disagreements, and the personal assumptions and values” that may have influenced a news story (Weinberger). The International Center for Media and the Public Agenda underscores the importance of news organizations letting “customers in on the often tightly held little secrets of journalism.” To do so, they suggest, will lead to “accountability and accountability leads to credibility” (“Openness”). These tools alone don’t guarantee Source is cited in MLA style. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 97 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 98 6h Writing arguments Jacobs 3 that news producers will be responsible and trustworthy, but they encourage an open and transparent environment that benefits news consumers. %XWHFRQRPLVWVJUHHWHGWKHQHZVZLWKDVPDOOFKHHUEHFDXVHVDOHVH[FOXGLQJDXWRPRELOHV DFWXDOO\JUHZLQ6HSWHPEHUVXJJHVWLQJWKDWFRQVXPHUVSHQGLQJZDVVWDELOL]LQJ 2YHUDOOUHWDLOVDOHVIHOOSHUFHQWLQ6HSWHPEHUIURPDPRQWKHDUOLHUWKH&RPPHUFH 'HSDUWPHQWUHSRUWHGEHWWHUWKDQDQDQWLFLSDWHGGHFOLQHRISHUFHQW 5HWDLOVDOHVH[FOXGLQJDXWRPRELOHVDQGSDUWVJUHZSHUFHQWODUJHO\EHFDXVHRIKLJKHU VDOHVDWJDVVWDWLRQVDQGJURFHU\VWRUHV $XWRGHDOHUVERUHWKHEUXQWRIWKHPRQWK¶VGHFOLQHV &RQVXPHUVVZDPSHGGHDOHUVKLSVLQODWH-XO\DQG$XJXVWWRWDNHDGYDQWDJHRIWKH JRYHUQPHQW¶VELOOLRQFDVKIRUFOXQNHUVSURJUDPZKLFKRIIHUHGUHEDWHVRIXSWR WRHQWLFHSHRSOHWRVZDSWKHLUROGHUFDUVIRUPRUHIXHOHIILFLHQWPRGHOV 6DOHVDWDXWRGHDOHUVVXUJHGLQ$XJXVWEXWIHOOSHUFHQWLQ6HSWHPEHU 6LJQLQWR5HFRPPHQG $YHUVLRQRIWKLVDUWLFOHDSSHDUHGLQSULQWRQ2FWREHURQ 0RUH$UWLFOHVLQ%XVLQHVVª SDJH%RIWKH1HZ<RUNHGLWLRQ 6,*1,172( 0$,/ 35,17 5(35,176 ,16,'(1<7,0(6&20 Fig. 1. Links embedded in online news articles allow readers to move from the main story to original sources, related articles, or background materials. The link in this online article (Healy) points to a government report, the original source of the author’s data on consumer spending. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 98 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg sample argument paper 6h 99 Jacobs 4 Not only has technology allowed readers to become Jacobs develops the thesis. more critical news consumers, but it also has helped some to become news producers. The Web gives ordinary people the power to report on the day’s events. Anyone with an Internet connection can publish on blogs and Web sites, engage in online discussion forums, and contribute video and audio recordings. Citizen journalists with laptops, cell phones, and digital camcorders have become news producers alongside large news organizations. Not everyone embraces the spread of unregulated news reporting online. Critics point out that citizen journalists are not necessarily trained to be fair or ethical, for example, nor are they subject to editorial oversight. Acknowledging that citizen reporting is more immediate and experimental, Opposing views are presented fairly. critics also question its accuracy and accountability: “While it has its place . . . it really isn’t journalism at all, and it opens up information flow to the strong probability of fraud and abuse. . . . Information without journalistic standards is called gossip,” writes David Hazinski in the Atlanta Journal- Constitution (23A). In his book Losing the News, media specialist Alex S. Jones argues that what passes for news today is in fact “pseudo news” and is “far less reliable” than traditional print news (27). Even a supporter like Gillmor is Jacobs counters opposing arguments. willing to agree that citizen journalists are “nonexperts,” but he argues that they are “using technology to make a profound contribution, and a real difference” (140). Citizen reporting made a difference in the wake of Hurricane Katrina in 2005. Armed with cell phones and A vivid example helps Jacobs make laptops, regular citizens relayed critical news updates in his point. a rapidly developing crisis, often before traditional journalists were even on the scene. In 2006, the enormous 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 99 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 100 6h Writing arguments Jacobs 5 contributions of citizen journalists were recognized when the New Orleans Times-Picayune received the Pulitzer Prize in public service for its online coverage—largely Jacobs uses specific citizen-generated—of Hurricane Katrina. In recognizing evidence for support. the paper ’s “meritorious public service,” the Pulitzer Prize board credited the newspaper ’s blog for “heroic, multi- faceted coverage of [the storm] and its aftermath” (“2006 Pulitzer ”). Writing for the Online Journalism Review, Mark Glaser emphasizes the role that blog updates played in saving storm victims’ lives. Further, he calls the Times- Picayune ’s partnership with citizen journalists a “watershed for online journalism.” Conclusion echoes The Internet has enabled consumers to participate the thesis without dully repeating it. in a new way in reading, questioning, interpreting, and reporting the news. Decisions about appropriate content and coverage are no longer exclusively in the hands of news editors. Ordinary citizens now have a meaningful voice in the conversation—a hand in deciding what ’s “fit to print.” Some skeptics worry about the apparent free-for-all and loss of tradition. But the expanding definition of news provides opportunities for consumers to be more engaged with events in their communities, their nations, and the world. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 100 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg sample argument paper 6h 101 Jacobs 6 Works Cited Gillmor, Dan. We the Media: Grassroots Journalism by the Works cited page uses MLA style. People, for the People. Sebastopol: O’Reilly, 2006. Print. Glaser, Mark. “NOLA.com Blogs and Forums Help Save Lives after Katrina.” OJR: The Online Journalism Review. Knight Digital Media Center, 13 Sept. 2005. Web. 2 Mar. 2010. Hazinski, David. “Unfettered ‘Citizen Journalism’ Too Risky.” Atlanta Journal-Constitution 13 Dec. 2007: 23A. General OneFile. Web. 2 Mar. 2010. Healy, Jack. “Window into Fed Debate over a Crucial List is alphabetized by authors’ last Program.” New York Times. New York Times, names (or by title 14 Oct. 2009. Web. 4 Mar. 2010. when a work has no author). Jones, Alex S. Losing the News: The Future of the News That Feeds Democracy. New York: Oxford UP, 2009. Print. “Openness and Accountability: A Study of Transparency in Global Media Outlets.” ICMPA: International Center for Media and the Public Agenda. Intl. Center for Media and the Public Agenda, 2006. Web. 26 Feb. 2010. “The 2006 Pulitzer Prize Winners: Public Service.” The Abbreviation “n.d.” indicates that the Pulitzer Prizes. Columbia U, n.d. Web. 2 Mar. 2010. online source has no Weinberger, David. “Transparency Is the New Objectivity.” update date. Joho the Blog. David Weinberger, 19 July 2009. Web. 26 Feb. 2010. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 101 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 102 7 Evaluating arguments 7 Evaluating arguments In your reading and in your own writing, evaluate all arguments for logic and fairness. Many arguments can stand up to critical scrutiny. Sometimes, however, a line of argument that at first seems reasonable turns out to be illogical, unfair, or both. Rec- ognizing flawed arguments as you read can help you avoid such problems in your own writing. 7a Distinguish between reasonable and fallacious argumentative tactics. A number of unreasonable argumentative tactics are known as logical fallacies. Most of the fallacies — such as hasty generaliza- tions and false analogies — are misguided or dishonest uses of legitimate argumentative strategies. The examples in this section suggest when such strategies are reasonable and when they are not. Generalizing (inductive reasoning) Writers and thinkers generalize all the time. We look at a sample of data and conclude that data we have not observed will most likely conform to what we have seen. From a spoonful of soup, we conclude just how salty the whole bowl will be. After numer- ous unpleasant experiences with an airline, we decide to book future flights with a competitor. When we draw a conclusion from an array of facts, we are engaged in inductive reasoning. Such reasoning deals in prob- ability, not certainty. For a conclusion to be highly probable, it must be based on evidence that is sufficient, representative, and relevant. (See the chart on p. 104.) The fallacy known as hasty generalization is a conclusion based on insufficient or unrepresentative evidence. hASTY GENERALIZATION In a single year, scores on standardized tests in California’s public schools rose by ten points. Therefore, more children than ever are succeeding in America’s public school systems. Data from one state do not justify a conclusion about the whole United States. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 102 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg logic problems • fallacies • avoiding generalizations • avoiding stereotypes • false analogy 7a 103 A stereotype is a hasty generalization about a group. Here are a few examples. STEREOTYPES Women are bad bosses. All politicians are corrupt. Athletes are never strong students. Stereotyping is common because of our tendency to perceive selectively. We tend to see what we want to see; we notice evi- dence confirming our already formed opinions and fail to notice evidence to the contrary. For example, if you have concluded that all politicians are corrupt, this stereotype will be confirmed by news reports of legislators being indicted — even though every day the media describe conscientious officials serving the public honestly and well. Academic English Many hasty generalizations contain words such as all, ever, always, and never, when qualifiers such as most, many, usually, and seldom would be more accurate. Drawing analogies An analogy points out a similarity between two things that are otherwise different. Analogies can be an effective means of arguing a point. Our system of judicial decision making, or case law, which relies heavily on previous decisions, makes exten- sive use of reasoning by analogy. One lawyer may point out, for example, that specific facts or circumstances resemble those from a previous case and will thus argue for a similar result or decision. In response, the opposing lawyer may maintain that such facts or circumstances bear only a superficial resemblance to those in the previous case and that in legally relevant respects they are quite different and thus require a different result or decision. It is not always easy to draw the line between a reasonable and an unreasonable analogy. At times, however, an analogy is clearly off base, in which case it is called a false analogy. FALSE ANALOGY If we can send a spacecraft to Pluto, we should be able to find a cure for the common cold. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 103 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 104 7a Evaluating arguments The writer has falsely assumed that because two things are alike in one respect, they must be alike in others. Exploring the outer reaches of the solar system and finding a cure for the common cold are both scientific challenges, but the problems confront- ing medical researchers are quite different from those solved by space scientists. Testing inductive reasoning Though inductive reasoning leads to probable and not absolute truth, you can assess a conclusion’s likely probability by asking three questions. This chart shows how to apply those questions to a ­sample conclusion based on a survey. conclusion The majority of students on our campus would volunteer at least five hours a week in a community organization if the school provided a placement service for volunteers. evidence In a recent survey, 723 of 1,215 students questioned said they would volunteer at least five hours a week in a community organization if the school provided a placement service for volunteers. 1. Is the evidence sufficient? That depends. On a small campus (say, 3,000 students), the pool of students surveyed would be sufficient for market research, but on a large campus (say, 30,000), 1,215 students are only 4 percent of the population. If that 4 percent were known to be truly representative of the other 96 percent, however, even such a small sample would be sufficient (see question 2). 2. Is the evidence representative? The evidence is representative if those responding to the survey reflect the characteristics of the entire student population: age, sex, race, field of study, overall number of extracurricular ­commitments, and so on. If most of those surveyed are majors in a field like social work, however, the researchers would be wise to question the survey’s conclusion. 3. Is the evidence relevant? Yes. The results of the survey are directly linked to the conclusion. Evidence based on a survey about the number of hours students work for pay, by contrast, would not be relevant because it would not be about choosing to volunteer. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 104 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg avoiding generalizations  •  reasoning  •  cause-effect  •  either . . . or 7a 105 Tracing causes and effects Demonstrating a connection between causes and effects is rarely simple. For example, to explain why a chemistry course has a high failure rate, you would begin by listing possible causes: inadequate preparation of students, poor teaching, lack of qualified tutors, and so on. Next you would investigate each possible cause. Only after investigating the possible causes would you be able to weigh the relative impact of each cause and suggest appropriate remedies. Because cause-and-effect reasoning is so complex, it is not surprising that writers frequently oversimplify it. In particular, writers sometimes assume that because one event follows an- other, the first is the cause of the second. This common fallacy is known as post hoc, from the Latin post hoc, ergo propter hoc, meaning “after this, therefore because of this.” POST HOC FALLACY Since Governor Cho took office, unemployment of minorities in the state has decreased by 7 percent. Governor Cho should be applauded for reducing unemployment among minorities. The writer must show that Governor Cho’s policies are respon- sible for the decrease in unemployment; it is not enough to show that the decrease followed the governor’s taking office. Weighing options Especially when reasoning about problems and solutions, writers must weigh options. To be fair, a writer should mention the full range of options, showing why one is superior to the others or might work well in combination with others. It is unfair to suggest that there are only two alternatives when in fact there are more. When writers set up a false choice between their preferred option and one that is clearly unsatisfac- tory, they create an either . . . or fallacy. EITHER . . . OR FALLACY Our current war against drugs has not worked. Either we should legalize drugs or we should turn the drug war over to our armed forces and let them fight it. Clearly there are other options, such as increased funding for drug abuse prevention and treatment. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 105 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 106 7a Evaluating arguments Making assumptions An assumption is a claim that is taken to be true — without the need of proof. Most arguments are based to some extent on ­assumptions, since writers rarely have the time and space to prove all the conceivable claims on which an argument is based. For ex- ample, someone arguing about the best means of limiting popu- lation growth in developing countries might well assume that the goal of limiting population growth is worthwhile. For most audi- ences, there would be no need to articulate this ­assumption or to defend it. There is a danger, however, in failing to spell out and prove a claim that is clearly controversial. Consider the following short argument, in which a key claim is missing. ARGUMENT WITH MISSING CLAIM Violent crime is increasing. Therefore, we should vigorously enforce the death penalty. The writer seems to be assuming that the death penalty deters vi- olent criminals — and that most audiences will agree. The writer also assumes that the death penalty is a fair punishment for vio- lent crimes. These are not safe assumptions; the writer will need to state and support both claims. When a missing claim is an assertion that few would agree with, we say that a writer is guilty of a non sequitur (Latin for “it does not follow”). NON SEQUITUR Christopher gets plenty of sleep; therefore he will be a successful student in the university’s pre-med program. Few people would agree with the missing claim — that people with good sleep habits always make successful students. Deducing conclusions (deductive reasoning) When we deduce a conclusion, we — like Sherlock Holmes — put things together. We establish that a general principle is true, that a specific case is an example of that principle, and that therefore a particular conclusion about that case is a certainty. In real life, such absolute reasoning rarely happens. Approximations of it, however, sometimes occur. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 106 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg missing claim  •  drawing conclusions 7a 107 Deductive reasoning can often be structured in a three-step argument called a syllogism. The three steps are the major prem- ise, the minor premise, and the conclusion. 1. Anything that increases radiation in the environment is dangerous to public health. (Major premise) 2. Nuclear reactors increase radiation in the environment. (Minor premise) 3. Therefore, nuclear reactors are dangerous to public health. (Conclusion) The major premise is a generalization. The minor premise is a specific case. The conclusion follows from applying the general- ization to the specific case. Deductive arguments break down if one of the premises is not true or if the conclusion does not logically follow from the premises. In the following argument, the major premise is very likely untrue. UNTRUE PREMISE The police do not give speeding tickets to people driving less than five miles per hour over the limit. Dominic is driving fifty-nine miles per hour in a fifty-five-mile-per-hour zone. Therefore, the police will not give Dominic a speeding ticket. The conclusion is true only if the premises are true. If the police sometimes give speeding tickets for driving less than five miles per hour over the limit, Dominic cannot safely conclude that he will avoid a ticket. In the following argument, both premises might be true, but the conclusion does not follow logically from them. CONCLUSION DOES NOT FOLLOW All members of our club ran in this year’s Boston Marathon. Jay ran in this year’s Boston Marathon. Therefore, Jay is a member of our club. The fact that Jay ran the marathon is no guarantee that he is a member of the club. Presumably, many marathon runners are nonmembers. Assuming that both premises are true, the following argu- ment holds up. CONCLUSION FOLLOWS All members of our club ran in this year’s Boston Marathon. Jay is a member of our club. Therefore, Jay ran in this year’s Boston Marathon. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 107 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 108 7b Evaluating arguments 7b  Distinguish between legitimate and unfair emotional appeals. There is nothing wrong with appealing to readers’ emotions. After all, many issues worth arguing about have an emotional as well as a logical dimension. Even the Greek logician Aristotle lists pathos (emotion) as a legitimate argumentative tactic. For ex­ ample, in an essay criticizing big-box stores, writer Betsy Taylor has a good reason for tugging at readers’ emotions: Her subject is the decline of city and town life. In her conclusion, Taylor appeals to readers’ emotions by invoking their national pride. LEGITIMATE EMOTIONAL APPEAL Is it anti-American to be against having a retail giant set up shop in one’s community? Some people would say so. On the other hand, if you board up Main Street, what’s left of America? As we all know, however, emotional appeals are frequently mis- used. Many of the arguments we see in the media, for instance, strive to win our sympathy rather than our intelligent agreement. A TV commercial suggesting that you will be thin and sexy if you drink a certain diet beverage is making a pitch to emotions. So is a political speech that recommends electing a candidate because he is a devoted husband and father who serves as a volunteer firefighter. The following passage illustrates several types of unfair emo- tional appeals. UNFAIR EMOTIONAL APPEALS This progressive proposal to build a ski resort in the state park has been carefully researched by Western Trust, the largest bank in the state; furthermore, it is favored by a majority of the local merchants. The only opposition comes from narrow-minded, hippie environmentalists who care more about trees than they do about people; one of their leaders was actually arrested for disturbing the peace several years ago. Words with strong positive or negative connotations, such as pro- gressive and hippie, are examples of biased language. Attacking the people who hold a belief (environmentalists) rather than refuting their argument is called ad hominem, a Latin term meaning “to the man.” Associating a prestigious name (Western Trust) with the writer’s side is called transfer. Claiming that an idea should be accepted because a large number of people (the majority of 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 108 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg emotional appeals  •  fairness  •  presenting other views  •  straw man 7c 109 merchants) are in favor is called the bandwagon appeal. Bringing in irrelevant issues (the arrest) is a red herring, named after a trick used in fox hunts to mislead the dogs by dragging a smelly fish across the trail. 7c  Judge how fairly a writer handles opposing views. The way in which a writer deals with opposing views is reveal- ing. Some writers address the arguments of the opposition fairly, conceding points when necessary and countering others, all in a civil spirit. Other writers will do almost anything to win an argu- ment: either ignoring opposing views altogether or misrepresent- ing such views and attacking their proponents. In your own writing, you build credibility by addressing op- posing arguments fairly. (See also 6f.) In your reading, you can assess the credibility of your sources by looking at how they deal with views not in agreement with their own. Describing the views of others Writers and politicians often deliberately misrepresent the views of others. One way they do this is by setting up a “straw man,” a character so weak that he is easily knocked down. The straw man fallacy consists of an oversimplification or outright dis- tortion of opposing views. For example, in a California debate over ­attempts to control the mountain lion population, pro-lion groups characterized their opponents as trophy hunters bent on shooting harmless lions and sticking them on the walls of their dens. In truth, such hunters were only one faction of those who saw a need to control the lion population. During the District of Columbia’s struggle for voting repre- sentation, some politicians set up a straw man, as shown in the following example. STRAW MAN FALLACY Washington, DC, residents are lobbying for statehood. Giving a city such as the District of Columbia the status of a state would be unfair. The straw man wanted statehood. In fact, most District citizens lobbied for voting representation in any form, not necessarily through statehood. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 109 7/26/11 9:59 AM arg 110 7c Evaluating arguments Quoting opposing views Writers often quote the words of writers who hold opposing views. In general, this is a good idea, for it assures some level of fairness and accuracy. At times, though, both the fairness and the accuracy are an illusion. A source may be misrepresented when it is quoted out of context. All quotations are to some extent taken out of context, but a fair writer will explain the context to readers. To select a provocative sentence from a source and to ignore the more moderate sentences surrounding it is both unfair and mislead- ing. Sometimes a writer deliberately distorts a source by using ­ellipsis dots. Ellipsis dots tell readers that words have been ­omitted from the original source. When those words are crucial to an author’s meaning, omitting them is unfair. (See 39d.) ORIGINAL SOURCE Johnson’s History of the American West is riddled with inaccuracies and astonishing in its blatantly racist description of the Indian wars.  — B. R., reviewer MISLEADING QUOTATION According to B. R., Johnson’s History of the American West is “astonishing in its . . . description of the Indian wars.” EXERCISE 7–1  Explain what is illogical in the following brief argu- ments. It may be helpful to identify the logical fallacy or fallacies by name. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. a. My roommate, who is an engineering major, is taking a course called Structures of Tall Buildings. All engineers have to know how to design tall buildings. b. If you’re old enough to vote, you’re old enough to drink. There- fore, the drinking age should be lowered to eighteen. c. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem. d. Whenever I wash my car, it rains. I have discovered a way to end all droughts — get all the people to wash their cars. e. Ninety percent of the students oppose a tuition increase; there- fore, the board of trustees should not pass the proposed increase. 04_7813_Part2_069-110.indd 110 7/26/11 9:59 AM Clarity Grammar Multilingual Writers and ESL Challenges Clarity | Grammar | ESL 05_7813_Tab3_T3a-T3b.indd 1 7/7/11 4:56 PM Clarity,  111 22 Pronoun-antecedent agreement, 207 8 Active verbs, 112 23 Pronoun reference 9 Parallel ideas, 116 (clarity), 212 10 Needed words, 119 24 Pronoun case (I and me, 11 Mixed constructions, etc.), 217 123 5 who and whom, 223 2 12 Misplaced and dangling 26 Adjectives and adverbs, modifiers, 127 226 3 1 Shifts, 135 27 Standard English verb 14 Emphasis, 141 forms, tenses, and moods, 232 15 Variety, 152 16 Wordy sentences, 156 Multilingual Writers and 17 Appropriate language, ESL Challenges,  251 161 18 Exact words, 171 8 Verbs, 252 2 29 Articles (a, an, the) and Grammar,  179 types of nouns, 267 0 Sentence structure, 277 3 19 Sentence fragments, 31 Prepositions and 180 idiomatic expressions, 0 Run-on sentences, 188 2 286 Pages 111–290 21 Subject-verb agreement (is or are, etc.), 196 05_7813_Tab3_T3a-T3b.indd 2 7/7/11 4:56 PM Clarity 8 Active verbs, 112 9 Parallel ideas, 116 10 Needed words, 119 11 Mixed constructions, 123 12 Misplaced and dangling modifiers, 127 13 Shifts, 135 14 Emphasis, 141 15 Variety, 152 16 Wordy sentences, 156 17 Appropriate language, 161 18 Exact words, 171 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 111 7/26/11 10:00 AM active 112 8 Active verbs 8 Prefer active verbs. As a rule, choose an active verb and pair it with a subject that names the person or thing doing the action. Active verbs express meaning more emphatically and vigorously than their weaker counterparts — forms of the verb be or verbs in the passive voice. PASSIVE e pumps were destroyed by a surge of power. Th BE VERB A surge of power was responsible for the destruction of the pumps. ACTIVE A surge of power destroyed the pumps. Verbs in the passive voice lack strength because their subjects receive the action instead of doing it. Forms of the verb be (be, am, is, are, was, were, being, been) lack vigor because they convey no action. Although passive verbs and the forms of be have legitimate uses, choose an active verb if it can carry your meaning. Even among active verbs, some are more active — and therefore more vigorous and colorful — than others. Carefully selected verbs can energize a piece of writing. swept hooked ▶▶ Th ▶ e▶goalie▶crouched▶low,▶reached▶out▶his▶stick,▶and▶sent▶the ^ ^ rebound▶away▶from▶the▶mouth▶of▶the▶net. Academic English Although you may be tempted to avoid the pas- sive voice completely, keep in mind that some writing situations call for it, especially scientifi c writing. For appropriate uses of the pas- sive voice, see page 113; for advice about forming the passive voice, see 28b and 47c. 8a Use the active voice unless you have a good reason for choosing the passive. In the active voice, the subject does the action; in the passive voice, the subject receives the action (see also 47c). Although both voices are grammatically correct, the active voice is usually more eff ective because it is clearer and more direct. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 112 7/26/11 10:00 AM active active vs. passive  •  strong verbs  •  appropriate passive 8a 113 ACTIVE Hernando caught the fly ball. PASSIVE The fly ball was caught by Hernando. Passive sentences often identify the actor in a by phrase, as in the preceding example. Sometimes, however, that phrase is omitted, and who or what is responsible for the action becomes unclear: The fly ball was caught. Most of the time, you will want to emphasize the actor, so you should use the active voice. To replace a passive verb with an active one, make the actor the subject of the sentence. The settlers stripped the land of timber before realizing ▶▶ The land was stripped of timber before the settlers realized the ^ consequences of their actions. The revision emphasizes the actors (settlers) by naming them in the subject. The contractor removed the ▶▶ The debris was removed from the construction site. ^Sometimes the actor does not appear in a passive-voice sentence. To turn such a sentence into the active voice, the writer must determine an appropriate subject, in this case contractor. Appropriate uses of the passive The passive voice is appropriate if you wish to emphasize the receiver of the action or to minimize the importance of the actor. APPROPRIATE Many Hawaiians were forced to leave their homes PASSIVE after the earthquake. APPROPRIATE As the time for harvest approaches, the tobacco PASSIVE  lants are sprayed with a chemical to retard the p growth of suckers. The writer of the first sentence wished to emphasize the receiver of the action, Hawaiians. The writer of the second sentence wished to focus on the tobacco plants, not on the people spraying them. In much scientific writing, the passive voice properly em- phasizes the experiment or process being described, not the re- searcher. Check with your instructor for the preference in your discipline. APPROPRIATE The solution was heated to the boiling point, and PASSIVE then it was reduced in volume by 50%. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 113 7/26/11 10:00 AM active 114 8b Active verbs 8b  Replace be verbs that result in dull or wordy sentences. Not every be verb needs replacing. The forms of be (be, am, is, are, was, were, being, been) work well when you want to link a subject to a noun that clearly renames it or to an adjective that describes it: Orchard House was the home of Louisa May Alcott. The harvest will be bountiful after the summer rains. And be verbs are essential as helping verbs before present participles (is flying, are disappearing) to express ongoing action: Derrick was fighting the fire when his wife went into labor. (See 27f.) If using a be verb makes a sentence needlessly dull and wordy, however, consider replacing it. Often a phrase following the verb will contain a noun or an adjective (such as violation, re- sistant) that suggests a more vigorous, active verb (violate, resist). violate ▶▶ Burying nuclear waste in Antarctica would be in violation of an ^ international treaty. Violate is less wordy and more vigorous than be in violation of. resisted ▶▶ When Rosa Parks was resistant to giving up her seat on the bus, ^ she became a civil rights hero. Resisted is stronger than was resistant to. 8c  As a rule, choose a subject that names the person or thing doing the action. In weak, unemphatic prose, both the actor and the action may be buried in sentence elements other than the subject and the verb. In the following sentence, for example, both the actor and the action appear in prepositional phrases, word groups that do not receive much attention from readers. WEAK The institution of the New Deal had the effect of reversing some of the economic inequalities of the Great Depression. EMPHATIC The New Deal reversed some of the economic inequalities of the Great Depression. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 114 7/26/11 10:00 AM active active vs. am, is, are, was . . .   •  strong verbs  •  naming the actor 8c 115 Consider the subjects and verbs of the two versions — institution had versus New Deal reversed. The latter expresses the writer’s point more emphatically. P ▶▶ The use of /pure oxygen can cause healing in wounds that are ^ otherwise untreatable. In the original sentence, the subject and verb — use can cause — express the point blandly. Pure oxygen can heal makes the point more emphatically and directly. Exercise 8–1  Revise any weak, unemphatic sentences by replacing be verbs or passive verbs with active alternatives and, if necessary, by naming in the subject the person or thing doing the action. Some sen- tences are emphatic; do not change them. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: The ranger doused the campfire before giving us The campfire was doused by the ranger before we were given ^ a ticket for unauthorized use of a campsite. a. The Prussians were victorious over the Saxons in 1745. b. The entire operation is managed by Ahmed, the producer. c. The sea kayaks were expertly paddled by the tour guides. d. At the crack of rocket and mortar blasts, I jumped from the top bunk and landed on my buddy below, who was crawling on the floor looking for his boots. e. There were shouting protesters on the courthouse steps.   1. A strange sound was made in the willow tree by the monkey that had escaped from the zoo.   2. Her letter was in acknowledgment of the student’s participation in the literacy program.   3. The bomb bay doors rumbled open, and freezing air whipped through the plane.   4. The work of Paul Oakenfold and Sandra Collins was influential in my choice of music for my audition.   5. The only responsibility I was given by my parents was putting my little brother to bed when they had to work late. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity >  8–2 to 8–5 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 115 7/26/11 10:00 AM // 116 9 Parallelism 9 Balance parallel ideas. If two or more ideas are parallel, they are easier to grasp when expressed in parallel grammatical form. Single words should be balanced with single words, phrases with phrases, clauses with clauses. A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point. — Mistinguett Th is novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with great force. — Dorothy Parker In matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current. — Th omas Jeff erson Writers oft en use parallelism to create emphasis. (See p. 151.) 9a Balance parallel ideas in a series. Readers expect items in a series to appear in parallel grammatical form. When one or more of the items violate readers’ expecta- tions, a sentence will be needlessly awkward. ▶▶ Children▶who▶study▶music▶also▶learn▶confi▶dence,▶discipline,▶ creativity. and▶they▶are▶creative. ^ e revision presents all the items in the series as nouns: confidence, Th discipline, and creativity. ▶▶ Impressionist▶painters▶believed▶in▶focusing▶on▶ordinary▶subjects, using capturing▶the▶eff▶ects▶of▶light▶on▶those▶subjects,▶and▶to▶use ^ short▶brushstrokes. Th e revision uses -ing forms for all the items in the series: focusing, capturing, and using. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 116 7/26/11 10:00 AM // series  •  lists  •  paired ideas  •  and  •  either . . . or 9b 117 ▶▶ Racing to get to work on time, Sam drove down the middle ignored of the road, ran one red light, and two stop signs. ^ The revision adds a verb to make the three items parallel: drove, ran, and ignored. In headings and lists, aim for as much parallelism as the con- tent allows. (See 50b and 50c.) 9b  Balance parallel ideas presented as pairs. When pairing ideas, underscore their connection by expressing them in similar grammatical form. Paired ideas are usually con- nected in one of these ways: • with a coordinating conjunction such as and, but, or or • with a pair of correlative conjunctions such as either . . . or or not only . . . but also • with a word introducing a comparison, usually than or as Parallel ideas linked with coordinating conjunctions Coordinating conjunctions (and, but, or, nor, for, so, and yet) link ideas of equal importance. When those ideas are closely parallel in content, they should be expressed in parallel gram- matical form. ▶▶ Emily Dickinson’s poetry features the use of dashes and the capitalization of capitalizing common words. ^The revision balances the nouns use and capitalization. ▶▶ Many states are reducing property taxes for home owners extending and extend financial aid in the form of tax credits to renters. ^ The revision balances the verb reducing with the verb extending. Parallel ideas linked with correlative conjunctions Correlative conjunctions come in pairs: either . . . or, neither . . . nor, not only . . . but also, both . . . and, whether . . . or. Make sure 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 117 7/26/11 10:00 AM // 118 9c Parallelism that the grammatical structure following the second half of the pair is the same as that following the first half. ▶▶ Thomas Edison was not only a prolific inventor but also was a successful entrepreneur. The words a prolific inventor follow not only, so a successful entrepreneur should follow but also. Repeating was creates an unbalanced effect. to ▶▶ The clerk told me either to change my flight or take the train. ^ To change my flight, which follows either, should be balanced with to take the train, which follows or. Comparisons linked with than or as In comparisons linked with than or as, the elements being com- pared should be expressed in parallel grammatical structure. to ground ▶▶ It is easier to speak in abstractions than grounding one’s thoughts ^ in reality. To speak is balanced with to ground. Comparisons should also be logical and complete. (See 10c.) 9c  Repeat function words to clarify parallels. Function words such as prepositions (by, to) and subordinating conjunctions (that, because) signal the grammatical nature of the word groups to follow. Although you can sometimes omit them, be sure to include them whenever they signal parallel structures that readers might otherwise miss. ▶▶ Our study revealed that left-handed students were more likely that to have trouble with classroom desks and rearranging desks for ^ exam periods was useful. A second subordinating conjunction helps readers sort out the two parallel ideas: that left-handed students have trouble with classroom desks and that rearranging desks was useful. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 118 7/26/11 10:00 AM add comparisons • repeating words • by • to • that • needed words 10 119 ExERCISE 9–1 Edit the following sentences to correct faulty paral- lelism. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Rowena▶began▶her▶workday▶by▶pouring▶a▶cup▶of▶coff▶ee▶and checking checked▶her▶e-mail. ^ a. Police dogs are used for fi nding lost children, tracking criminals, and the detection of bombs and illegal drugs. b. Hannah told her rock-climbing partner that she bought a new harness and of her desire to climb Otter Cliff s. c. It is more diffi cult to sustain an exercise program than starting one. d. During basic training, I was not only told what to do but also what to think. e. Jan wanted to drive to the wine country or at least Sausalito. 1. Camp activities include fi shing trips, dance lessons, and computers. 2. Arriving at Lake Powell in a thunderstorm, the campers found it safer to remain in their cars than setting up their tents. 3. Th e streets were not only too steep but also were too narrow for anything other than pedestrian traffi c. 4. More digital artists in the show are from the South Shore than the North Shore. 5. To load her toolbox, Anika the Clown gathered hats of diff erent sizes, put in two tubes of face paint, arranged a bundle of extra-long straws, added a bag of colored balloons, and a battery-powered hair dryer. 10 Add needed words. Sometimes writers leave out words intentionally, and the mean- ing of the sentence is not aff ected. But leaving out words can occasionally cause confusion for readers or make the sentence ungrammatical. Readers need to see at a glance how the parts of a sentence are connected. PRACTICE hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Clarity > 9–2 to 9–5 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 119 7/26/11 10:00 AM add 120 10a Needed words MULTILINGUAL Languages sometimes diff er in the need for certain words. In particular, be alert for missing articles, verbs, subjects, or expletives. See 29, 30a, and 30b. 10a Add words needed to complete compound structures. In compound structures, words are oft en left out for economy: Tom is a man who means what he says and [who] says what he means. Such omissions are acceptable as long as the omitted words are common to both parts of the compound structure. If a sentence defi es grammar or idiom because an omitted word is not common to both parts of the compound structure, the simplest solution is to put the word back in. ▶▶ Successful▶advertisers▶target▶customers▶whom▶they▶identify who through▶demographic▶research▶or▶have▶purchased▶their▶product ^ in▶the▶past. e word who must be included because whom . . . have purchased is not Th grammatically correct. accepted ▶▶ Mayor▶Davis▶never▶has▶and▶never▶will▶accept▶a▶bribe. ^ Has . . . accept is not grammatically correct. in ▶▶ Many▶South▶Pacifi▶c▶islanders▶still▶believe▶and▶live▶by▶ancient▶laws. ^ Believe . . . by is not idiomatic in English. (For a list of common idioms, see 18d.) NOTE: Even when the omitted word is common to both parts of the compound structure, occasionally it must be inserted to avoid ambiguity. My favorite professor and mentor infl uenced my choice of a career. [Professor and mentor are the same person.] My favorite professor and my mentor infl uenced my choice of a career. [Professor and mentor are two diff erent people; my must be repeated.] 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 120 7/26/11 10:00 AM add compounds  •  who  •  that  •  comparisons 10c 121 10b  Add the word that if there is any danger of misreading without it. If there is no danger of misreading, the word that may be omitted when it introduces a subordinate clause. The value of a principle is the number of things [that] it will explain. Occasionally, however, a sentence might be misread without that. ▶▶ In his famous obedience experiments, psychologist Stanley that Milgram discovered ordinary people were willing to inflict ^ physical pain on strangers. Milgram didn’t discover ordinary people; he discovered that ordinary people were willing to inflict pain on strangers. The word that tells readers to expect a clause, not just ordinary people, as the direct object of discovered. 10c  Add words needed to make comparisons logical and complete. Comparisons should be made between items that are alike. To compare unlike items is illogical and distracting. ▶▶ The forests of North America are much more extensive than those of Europe. ^Forests must be compared with forests, not with all of Europe. l died ▶▶ The death rate of /infantry soldiers in the Vietnam War was at a rate ^ much higher than the other combat troops. ^ ^ The death rate cannot logically be compared to troops. The writer could revise the sentence by inserting that of after than, but the preceding revision is more concise. ▶▶ Some say that Ella Fitzgerald’s renditions of Cole Porter’s singer’s. songs are better than any other singer. ^ Ella Fitzgerald’s renditions cannot logically be compared with a singer. The revision uses the possessive form singer’s, with the word renditions being implied. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 121 7/26/11 10:00 AM add 122 10d Needed words Sometimes the word other must be inserted to make a com- parison logical. other ▶▶ Jupiter is larger than any planet in our solar system. ^ Jupiter is a planet, and it cannot be larger than itself. Sometimes the word as must be inserted to make a compari- son grammatically complete. as ▶▶ The city of Lowell is as old, if not older than, the neighboring ^ city of Lawrence. The construction as old is not complete without a second as: as old as . . . the neighboring city of Lawrence. Comparisons should be complete enough to ensure clarity. The reader should understand what is being compared. INCOMPLETE Brand X is less salty. COMPLETE Brand X is less salty than Brand Y. Finally, comparisons should leave no ambiguity for readers. If more than one interpretation is possible, revise the sentence to state clearly which interpretation you intend. In the following ambiguous sentence, two interpretations are possible. AMBIGUOUS Ken helped me more than my roommate. CLEAR Ken helped me more than he helped my roommate. CLEAR Ken helped me more than my roommate did. 10d  Add the articles a, an, and the where necessary for grammatical completeness. It is not always necessary to repeat articles with paired items: We bought a computer and printer. However, if one of the items re- quires a and the other requires an, both articles must be included. an ▶▶ We bought a computer and antivirus program. ^ Articles are sometimes omitted in recipes and other instructions that are meant to be followed while they are being 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 122 7/26/11 10:00 AM mix comparisons • articles • a, an, the • avoiding mixed grammar 11 123 read. In nearly all other forms of writing, whether formal or in- formal, such omissions are inappropriate. MULTILINGUAL Choosing and using articles can be challenging for multi lingual writers. See 29. ExERCISE 10–1 Add any words needed for grammatical or logical completeness in the following sentences. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: that Th ▶ e▶offi ▶▶cer▶feared▶the▶prisoner▶would▶escape. ^ a. A grapefruit or orange is a good source of vitamin C. b. Th e women entering VMI can expect haircuts as short as the male cadets. c. Looking out the family room window, Sarah saw her favorite tree, which she had climbed as a child, was gone. d. Th e graphic designers are interested and knowledgeable about producing posters for the balloon race. e. Th e Great Barrier Reef is larger than any coral reef in the world. 1. Very few black doctors were allowed to serve in the Civil War, and their qualifi cations had to be higher than white doctors. 2. Rachel is interested and committed to working at a school in Ecua- dor next semester. 3. Vassily likes mathematics more than his teacher. 4. Th e inspection team saw many historic buildings had been damaged by the earthquake. 5. Lila knows seven languages, but she found English harder to learn than any language. 11 Untangle mixed constructions. A mixed construction contains sentence parts that do not sen- sibly fi t together. Th e mismatch may be a matter of grammar or of logic. PRACTICE hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Clarity > 10–2 to 10–4 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 123 7/26/11 10:00 AM mix 124 11a Mixed constructions 11a  Untangle the grammatical structure. Once you begin a sentence, your choices are limited by the range of grammatical patterns in English. (See 47 and 48.) You cannot begin with one grammatical plan and switch without warning to another. Often you must rethink the purpose of the sentence and revise. MIXED  or most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of F .05 percent double their risk of causing an accident. The writer begins the sentence with a long prepositional phrase and makes it the subject of the verb double. But a prepositional phrase can serve only as a modifier; it cannot be the subject of a sentence. REVISED For most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percent, the risk of causing an accident is doubled. REVISED Most drivers who have a blood alcohol content of .05 percent double their risk of causing an accident. In the first revision, the writer begins with the prepositional phrase and finishes the sentence with a proper subject and verb (risk . . . is doubled). In the second revision, the writer stays with the original verb (double) and heads into the sentence another way, making drivers the subject of double. Electing ▶▶ When the country elects a president is the most important ^ responsibility in a democracy. The adverb clause When the country elects a president cannot serve as the subject of the verb is. The revision replaces the adverb clause with a gerund phrase, a word group that can function as a subject. (See 48e and 48b.) ▶▶ Although the United States is one of the wealthiest nations in the world, but more than twelve million of our children live in poverty. The coordinating conjunction but cannot link a subordinate clause (Although the United States . . .) with an independent clause (more than twelve million of our children live in poverty). 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 124 7/26/11 10:00 AM mix avoiding mixed grammar • logic • revising awkward sentences 11b 125 Occasionally a mixed construction is so tangled that it defi es grammatical analysis. When this happens, back away from the sen- tence, rethink what you want to say, and then rewrite the sentence. MIxED In the whole-word method, children learn to recognize entire words rather than by the phonics method in which they learn to sound out letters and groups of letters. REVISED Th e whole-word method teaches children to recognize entire words; the phonics method teaches them to sound out letters and groups of letters. MULTILINGUAL English does not allow double subjects, nor does it allow an object or an adverb to be repeated in an adjective clause. Unlike some other languages, English does not allow a noun and a pronoun to be repeated in a sentence if they have the same gram- matical function. See 30c and 30d. ▶ My▶father▶he▶moved▶to▶Peru▶before▶he▶met▶my▶mother. the fi nal exam ▶ Th ▶ e▶fi▶nal▶exam▶I▶should▶really▶study▶for▶it▶to▶pass▶the ^ ▶ course. 11b Straighten out the logical connections. Th e subject and the predicate (the verb and its modifi ers) should make sense together; when they don’t, the error is known as faulty predication. Tiffany ▶ We▶decided▶that▶Tiff▶any’s▶welfare▶would▶not▶be▶safe▶living▶with ^ her▶mother. Tiff any, not her welfare, may not be safe. double personal exemption for the ▶ Under▶the▶revised▶plan,▶the▶elderly/,▶who▶now▶receive▶a▶double ^ personal▶exemption,▶will▶be▶abolished. Th e exemption, not the elderly, will be abolished. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 125 7/26/11 10:00 AM mix 126 11c Mixed constructions An appositive is a noun that renames a nearby noun. When an appositive and the noun it renames are not logically equiva- lent, the error is known as faulty apposition. (See 48c.) Tax accounting, ▶▶ The tax accountant, a very lucrative profession, requires ^ intelligence, patience, and attention to mathematical detail. The tax accountant is a person, not a profession. 11c  Avoid is when, is where, and reason . . . is because constructions. In formal English, readers sometimes object to is when, is where, and reason . . . is because constructions on grammatical or logical grounds. ▶▶ The reason the experiment failed is because conditions in the lab were not sterile. Grammatically, the verb is should not be followed by an adverb clause beginning with because. (See 62b and 62e.) The writer might have changed because to that (The reason the experiment failed is that conditions in the lab were not sterile), but the preceding revision is more concise. a disorder suffered by people who ▶▶ Anorexia nervosa is where people think they are too fat and diet ^ to the point of starvation. Where refers to places. Anorexia nervosa is a disorder, not a place. Exercise 11–1  Edit the following sentences to untangle mixed con- structions. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Taking By taking the oath of allegiance made Ling a US citizen. ^ a. U  sing surgical gloves is a precaution now worn by dentists to prevent contact with patients’ blood and saliva. practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  11–2 to 11–4 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 126 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm appositives • is when • is where • reason . . . is because • modifiers • only • hardly 12a 127 b. A physician, the career my brother is pursuing, requires at least ten years of challenging work. c. Th e reason the pharaohs had bad teeth was because tiny particles of sand found their way into Egyptian bread. d. Recurring bouts of fl u among team members set a record for number of games forfeited. e. In this box contains the key to your future. 1. Early diagnosis of prostate cancer is oft en curable. 2. Depending on our method of travel and our destination deter- mines how many suitcases we are allowed to pack. 3. Dyslexia is where people have a learning disorder that impairs reading ability. 4. Even though Ellen had heard French spoken all her life, yet she could not speak it. 5. In understanding artifi cial intelligence code is a critical skill for computer game designers. 12 Repair misplaced and dangling modifiers. Modifi ers, whether they are single words, phrases, or clauses, should point clearly to the words they modify. As a rule, related words should be kept together. 12a Put limiting modifiers in front of the words they modify. Limiting modifi ers such as only, even, almost, nearly, and just should appear in front of a verb only if they modify the verb: At first, I couldn’t even touch my toes, much less grasp them. If they limit the meaning of some other word in the sentence, they should be placed in front of that word. ▶▶ St.▶Vitus▶Cathedral,▶commissioned▶by▶Charles▶IV▶in▶the▶mid- almost fourteenth▶century,▶almost▶took▶six▶centuries▶to▶complete. ^ Almost limits the meaning of six centuries, not took. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 127 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm 128 12b Misplaced and dangling modifiers just ▶▶ If you just interview chemistry majors, your picture of the ^ student body’s response to the new grading policies will be incomplete. The adverb just limits the meaning of chemistry majors, not interview. When the limiting modifier not is misplaced, the sentence usually suggests a meaning the writer did not intend. not ▶▶ In the United States in 1860, all black southerners were not ^ slaves. The original sentence says that no black southerners were slaves. The revision makes the writer’s real meaning clear: Some (but not all) black southerners were slaves. 12b  Place phrases and clauses so that readers can see at a glance what they modify. Although phrases and clauses can appear at some distance from the words they modify, you will want to make sure your meaning is clear. When phrases or clauses are oddly placed, absurd mis- readings can result. MISPLACED  e soccer player returned to the clinic where he Th had undergone emergency surgery in 2004 in a limousine sent by Adidas. REVISED T  raveling in a limousine sent by Adidas, the soccer player returned to the clinic where he had undergone emergency surgery in 2004. The revision corrects the false impression that the soccer player underwent emergency surgery in a limousine. On the walls ▶▶ There are many pictures of comedians who have performed ^ at Gavin’s. on the walls. ^ The comedians weren’t performing on the walls; the pictures were on the walls. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 128 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm misplaced • squinting • separating subject and verb 12c 129 170-pound, ▶▶ Th▶ e▶robber▶was▶described▶as▶a▶six-foot-tall▶man▶with▶a▶heavy ^ mustache. weighing▶170▶pounds. Th ^ e robber, not the mustache, weighed 170 pounds. Occasionally the placement of a modifi er leads to an ambiguity — a squinting modifi er. In such a case, two revisions will be possible, depending on the writer’s intended meaning. AMBIGUOUS e exchange students we met for coff ee Th occasionally questioned us about our latest slang. CLEAR e exchange students we occasionally met for Th coff ee questioned us about our latest slang. CLEAR e exchange students we met for coff ee questioned Th us occasionally about our latest slang. In the original version, it was not clear whether the meeting or the questioning happened occasionally. Both revisions eliminate the ambiguity. 12c Move awkwardly placed modifiers. As a rule, a sentence should fl ow from subject to verb to object, without lengthy detours along the way. When a long adverbial word group separates a subject from its verb, a verb from its object, or a helping verb from its main verb, the result is oft en awkward. A Hong Kong ▶▶ Hong▶Kong,▶/aft▶er▶more▶than▶150▶years▶of▶British▶rule,▶was ^ ^ transferred▶back▶to▶Chinese▶control▶in▶1997. ere is no reason to separate the subject, Hong Kong, from the verb, Th was transferred, with a long phrase. MULTILINGUAL English does not allow an adverb to appear between a verb and its object. See 30f. easily ▶▶ Yolanda▶lift▶ed▶easily▶the▶fi▶ft▶y-pound▶weight. ^ 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 129 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm 130 12d Misplaced and dangling modifiers 12d  Avoid split infinitives when they are awkward. An infinitive consists of to plus the base form of a verb: to think, to breathe, to dance. When a modifier appears between to and the verb, an infinitive is said to be “split”: to carefully balance, to completely understand. When a long word or a phrase appears between the parts of the infinitive, the result is usually awkward. If possible, the ▶▶ The patient should try to if possible avoid going up and ^ down stairs. Attempts to avoid split infinitives can result in equally awk- ward sentences. When alternative phrasing sounds unnatu- ral, most experts allow — and even encourage — splitting the infinitive. AWKWARD We decided actually to enforce the law. BETTER We decided to actually enforce the law. At times, neither the split infinitive nor its alternative sounds particularly awkward. In such situations, it is usually better not to split the infinitive, especially in formal writing. ▶▶ Nursing students learn to accurately record a patient’s vital accurately. signs/. ^ Exercise 12–1  Edit the following sentences to correct misplaced or awkwardly placed modifiers. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: in a telephone survey Answering questions can be annoying. in a telephone survey. ^ ^ a. More research is needed to effectively evaluate the risks posed by volcanoes in the Pacific Northwest. b. Many students graduate with debt from college totaling more than fifty thousand dollars. practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  12–3 to 12–5 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 130 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm split infinitive (to quickly go)  •  finding dangling modifiers 12e 131 c. It is a myth that humans only use 10 percent of their brains. d. A coolhunter is a person who can find in the unnoticed corners of modern society the next wave of fashion. e. All geese do not fly beyond Narragansett for the winter.   1. The flood nearly displaced half of the city’s residents, who packed into several overcrowded shelters.   2. Most lions at night hunt for medium-size prey, such as zebra.   3. Several recent studies have encouraged heart patients to more carefully watch their cholesterol levels.   4. The garden’s centerpiece is a huge sculpture that was carved by three women called Walking in Place.   5. The old Marlboro ads depicted a man on a horse smoking a cigarette. 12e  Repair dangling modifiers. A dangling modifier fails to refer logically to any word in the sen- tence. Dangling modifiers are easy to repair, but they can be hard to recognize, especially in your own writing. Recognizing dangling modifiers Dangling modifiers are usually word groups (such as verbal phrases) that suggest but do not name an actor. When a sentence opens with such a modifier, readers expect the subject of the next clause to name the actor. If it doesn’t, the modifier dangles. ▶▶ Understanding the need to create checks and balances on power, the framers of the Constitution divided the government into three branches. ^The framers of the Constitution (not the document itself ) understood the need for checks and balances. women have often been denied ▶▶ After completing seminary training, women’s access to the ^ priesthood. has often been denied. ^ Women (not their access to the priesthood) complete the training. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 131 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm 132 12e Misplaced and dangling modifiers The following sentences illustrate four common kinds of dangling modifiers. DANGLING  eciding to join the navy, the recruiter enthusiastically D pumped Joe’s hand. [Participial phrase] DANGLING  pon entering the doctor’s office, a skeleton caught my U attention. [Preposition followed by a gerund phrase] DANGLING  o satisfy her mother, the piano had to be practiced T every day. [Infinitive phrase] DANGLING Though not eligible for the clinical trial, the doctor was willing to prescribe the drug for Ethan on compassionate grounds. [Elliptical clause with an understood subject and verb] These dangling modifiers falsely suggest that the recruiter decided to join the navy, that the skeleton entered the doctor’s office, that the piano intended to satisfy the mother, and that the doctor was not eligible for the clinical trial. Although most readers will understand the writer’s in- tended meaning in such sentences, the inadvertent humor can be distracting. Repairing dangling modifiers To repair a dangling modifier, you can revise the sentence in one of two ways: • Name the actor in the subject of the sentence. • Name the actor in the modifier. Depending on your sentence, one of these revision strategies may be more appropriate than the other. ACTOR NAMED IN SUBJECT I noticed ▶▶ Upon entering the doctor’s office, a skeleton. caught my ^ ^ attention. Jing-mei had to practice ▶▶ To satisfy her mother, the piano had to be practiced every day. ^ 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 132 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm finding dangling modifiers  •  fixing dangling modifiers  •  checking for dangling modifiers 12e 133 Checking for dangling modifiers Does an opening phrase No suggest an action without NO problem naming the actor? YES Does the subject of No the sentence name YES problem the actor? NO Revise the dangling modifier. ACTOR NAMED IN MODIFIER When Joe decided ▶▶ Deciding to join the navy, the recruiter enthusiastically ^ his pumped Joe’s hand. ^ Ethan was ▶▶ Though not eligible for the clinical trial, the doctor was ^ him willing to prescribe the drug for Ethan on compassionate ^ grounds. NOTE:  You cannot repair a dangling modifier just by moving it. Consider, for example, the sentence about the skeleton. If you put the modifier at the end of the sentence (A skeleton caught my atten- tion upon entering the doctor’s office), you are still suggesting —  absurdly, of course — that the skeleton entered the office. The only 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 133 7/26/11 10:00 AM mm/dm 134 12e Misplaced and dangling modifiers way to avoid the problem is to put the word I in the sentence, either as the subject or in the modifier. I noticed      ▶▶ Upon entering the doctor’s office, a skeleton. caught my ^ ^ attention. As I entered ▶▶ Upon entering the doctor’s office, a skeleton caught my ^ attention. Exercise 12–2  Edit the following sentences to correct dangling modifiers. Most sentences can be revised in more than one way. Revi- sions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: a s tudent must complete To acquire a degree in almost any field, two science courses. ^ ^ must be completed. a. Though only sixteen, UCLA accepted Martha’s application. b. To replace the gear mechanism, attached is a form to order the part by mail. c. Settled in the cockpit, the pounding of the engine was muffled only slightly by my helmet. d. After studying polymer chemistry, computer games seemed less complex to Phuong. e. When a young man, my mother enrolled me in tap dance classes.   1. While working as a ranger in Everglades National Park, a Florida panther crossed the road in front of my truck one night.   2. By following the new recycling procedure, the city’s landfill costs will be reduced significantly.   3. Serving as president of the missionary circle, one of Sophia’s duties is to raise money for the church.   4. After buying an album by Ali Farka Toure, the rich and rolling rhythms of Malian music made more sense to Silas.   5. Opening the window to let out a huge bumblebee, the car swerved into an oncoming truck. practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  12–6 to 12–8 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 134 7/26/11 10:00 AM shift shifts • point of view • I, you, he • number 13a 135 13 Eliminate distracting shifts. Th e following sections can help you avoid unnecessary shift s that might distract or confuse your readers: shift s in point of view, in verb tense, in mood or voice, or from indirect to direct questions or quotations. 13a Make the point of view consistent in person and number. Th e point of view of a piece of writing is the perspective from which it is written: fi rst person (I or we), second person ( you), or third person (he, she, it, one, they, or any noun). Th e I (or we) point of view, which emphasizes the writer, is a good choice for informal letters and writing based primarily on personal experience. Th e you point of view, which emphasizes the reader, works well for giving advice or explaining how to do something. Th e third-person point of view, which emphasizes the subject, is appropriate in formal academic and professional writing. Writers who are having diffi culty settling on an appropriate point of view sometimes shift confusingly from one to another. Th e solution is to choose a suitable perspective and then stay with it. ▶▶ Our▶class▶practiced▶rescuing▶a▶victim▶trapped▶in▶a▶wrecked▶car.▶ We We▶learned▶to▶dismantle▶the▶car▶with▶the▶essential▶tools.▶You our our ^ were▶graded▶on▶your▶speed▶and▶your▶skill▶in▶freeing▶the▶victim. Th ^ ^ e writer should have stayed with the we point of view. You is inappropriate because the writer is not addressing readers directly. You should not be used in a vague sense meaning “anyone.” (See 23d.) You need ▶▶ One▶needs▶a▶password▶and▶a▶credit▶card▶number▶to▶access▶the ^ database.▶You▶will▶be▶billed▶at▶an▶hourly▶rate. You is an appropriate choice because the writer is giving advice directly to readers. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 135 7/26/11 10:00 AM shift 136 13b Shifts EXERCISE 13–1  Edit the following paragraph to eliminate distracting shifts in point of view (person and number). When online dating first became available, many people thought that it would simplify romance. We believed that you could type in a list of criteria — sense of humor, college education, green eyes, good job — and a database would select the perfect mate. Thousands of people signed up for services and filled out their profiles, confident that true love was only a few mouse clicks away. As it turns out, however, virtual dating is no easier than traditional dating. I still have to contact the people I find, exchange e-mails and phone calls, and meet him in the real world. Although a database might produce a list of possibilities and screen out obviously undesirable people, you can’t predict chemistry. More often than not, people who seem perfect online just don’t click in person. Electronic services do help a single person expand their pool of potential dates, but it’s no substitute for the hard work of romance. 13b  Maintain consistent verb tenses. Consistent verb tenses clearly establish the time of the actions being described. When a passage begins in one tense and then shifts without warning and for no reason to another, readers are distracted and confused. ▶▶ There was no way I could fight the current and win. Just as I jumped was losing hope, a stranger jumps off a passing boat and swam ^ swims toward me. ^ The writer thought that the present tense ( jumps, swims) would convey immediacy and drama. But having begun in the past tense (could fight, was losing), the writer should follow through in the past tense. Writers often encounter difficulty with verb tenses when writing about literature. Because fictional events occur outside the time frames of real life, the past tense and the present tense may seem equally appropriate. The literary convention, ­however, practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  13–5, 13–8, and 13–9 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 136 7/26/11 10:00 AM shift point of view  •  consistent tense  •  consistent mood and voice 13c 137 is to describe fictional events consistently in the ­present tense. (See 69b.) ▶▶ The scarlet letter is a punishment sternly placed on Hester’s is breast by the community, and yet it was a fanciful and ^ imaginative product of Hester’s own needlework. EXERCISE 13–2  Edit the following paragraphs to eliminate distract- ing shifts in tense. The English colonists who settled in Massachusetts received assistance at first from the local Indian tribes, but by 1675 there had been friction between the English and the Indians for many years. On June 20 of that year, Metacomet, whom the colonists called Philip, leads the Wampanoag tribe in the first of a series of attacks on the colonial settlements. The war, known today as King Philip’s War, rages on for more than a year and leaves three thousand Indians and six hundred colonists dead. Metacomet’s attempt to retain power in his native land failed. Finally he too is killed, and the victorious colonists sell his wife and children into slavery. The Indians did not leave records of their encounters with the English settlers, but the settlers recorded some of their experiences at the hands of the Indians. One of the few accounts to survive was written by a captured colonist, Mrs. Mary Rowlandson. She is a minister’s wife who is kidnapped by an Indian war party and held captive for eleven weeks in 1676. Her history, A Narrative of the Captivity and Restoration of Mrs. Mary Rowlandson, tells the story of her experiences with the Wampanoags. Although it did not paint a completely balanced picture of the Indians, Rowlandson’s narrative, which is considered a classic early American text, showed its author to be a keen observer of life in an Indian camp. 13c  Make verbs consistent in mood and voice. Unnecessary shifts in the mood of a verb can be distracting and confusing to readers. There are three moods in English: the practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  13–6, 13–8, and 13–9 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 137 7/26/11 10:00 AM shift 138 13d Shifts indicative, used for facts, opinions, and questions; the impera- tive, used for orders or advice; and the subjunctive, used in ­certain contexts to express wishes or conditions contrary to fact (see 27g). The following passage shifts confusingly from the indicative to the imperative mood. ▶▶ The counselor advised us to spread out our core requirements She also suggested that we over two or three semesters. Also, pay attention to pre- ^ requisites for elective courses. The writer began by reporting the counselor’s advice in the indicative mood (counselor advised ) and switched to the imperative mood ( pay attention); the revision puts both sentences in the indicative. A verb may be in either the active voice (with the subject doing the action) or the passive voice (with the subject receiv- ing the action). (See 8a.) If a writer shifts without warning from one to the other, readers may be left wondering why. gives it ▶▶ Each student completes a self-assessment /. , The self-assessment ^    exchanges is then given to the teacher, and a copy is exchanged with ^ ^ a classmate. Because the passage began in the active voice (student completes) and then switched to the passive (self-assessment is given, copy is exchanged ), readers are left wondering who gives the self-assessment to the teacher and the classmate. The active voice, which is clearer and more direct, leaves no ambiguity. 13d  Avoid sudden shifts from indirect to direct questions or quotations. An indirect question reports a question without asking it: We asked whether we could visit Miriam. A direct question asks directly: Can we visit Miriam? Sudden shifts from indirect to direct questions are awkward. In addition, sentences containing such shifts are impossible to punctuate because indirect questions must end with a period and direct questions must end with a question mark. (See 38b.) 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 138 7/26/11 10:00 AM shift consistent mood and voice  •  direct/indirect questions and quotations 13d 139 ▶▶ I wonder whether Karla knew of the theft and, if so, did whether she reported      she report it to the police/?. ^The revision poses both questions ^ indirectly. The writer could also ask both questions directly: Did Karla know of the theft, and, if so, did she report it to the police? An indirect quotation reports someone’s words without quot- ing word for word: Annabelle said that she is a Virgo. A direct quo- tation presents the exact words of a speaker or writer, set off with quotation marks: Annabelle said, “I am a Virgo.” Unannounced shifts from indirect to direct quotations are distracting and confus- ing, especially when the writer fails to insert the necessary quota- tion marks, as in the following example. ▶▶ The patient said she had been experiencing heart palpitations asked me to was and please run as many tests as possible to find out what’s ^ ^ wrong. The revision reports the patient’s words indirectly. The writer also could quote the words directly: The patient said, “I have been experiencing heart palpitations. Please run as many tests as possible to find out what’s wrong.” EXERCISE 13–3  Edit the following sentences to make the verbs con- sistent in mood and voice and to eliminate distracting shifts from in- direct to direct questions or quotations. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: As a public relations intern, I wrote press releases, managed fielded all phone calls. the Web site, and all phone calls were fielded by me. ^ a. An incredibly talented musician, Ray Charles mastered R&B, soul, and gospel styles. Even country music was performed well by him. b. Environmentalists point out that shrimp farming in Southeast Asia is polluting water and making farmlands useless. They warn that action must be taken by governments before it is too late. c. The samples were observed for five days before we detected any growth. practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  13–7 to 13–9 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 139 7/26/11 10:00 AM shift 140 13d Shifts d. In his famous soliloquy, Hamlet contemplates whether death would be preferable to his difficult life and, if so, is he capable of committing suicide? e. The lawyer told the judge that Miranda Hale was innocent and allow her to prove the allegations false.   1. When the photographs were taken on the beach at sunset, I intentionally left the foreground out of focus.   2. If the warning sirens sound, evacuate at once. It is not advised that you return to the building until the alarm has stopped.   3. Most baby products warn parents to follow all directions carefully. Also, supervise children closely during use.   4. The advertisement promised that results would be seen in five days or consumers could return the product for a full refund.   5. Investigators need to determine first whether there was a forcible entry and then what was the motive? EXERCISE 13–4  Edit the following sentences to eliminate distracting shifts. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: For many first-year engineering students, adjusting to a they rigorous course load can be so challenging that you ^ sometimes feel overwhelmed. a. A courtroom lawyer has more than a touch of theater in their blood. b. The interviewer asked if we had brought our proof of citizenship and did we bring our passports? c. The reconnaissance scout often has to make fast decisions and use sophisticated equipment to keep their team from being detected. d. After the animators finish their scenes, the production designer arranges the clips according to the storyboard. Synchronization notes must also be made for the sound editor and the composer. e. Madame Defarge is a sinister figure in Dickens’s A Tale of Two Cities. On a symbolic level, she represents fate; like the Greek Fates, she knitted the fabric of individual destiny.   1. Everyone should protect yourself from the sun, especially on the first day of extensive exposure. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 140 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph equal ideas • minor ideas 14a 141 2. Our neighbors told us that the island was being evacuated because of the coming storm. Also, take the northern route to the mainland. 3. Rescue workers put water on her face and lift ed her head gently onto a pillow. Finally, she opens her eyes. 4. In my fi rst tai chi class, the instructor asked if I had ever done yoga stretches and did I have good balance? 5. Th e artist has oft en been seen as a threat to society, especially when they refuse to conform to conventional standards of taste. 14 Emphasize key ideas. Within each sentence, emphasize your point by expressing it in the subject and verb of an independent clause, the words that receive the most attention from readers (see 14a–14e). Within longer stretches of prose, you can draw attention to ideas deserving special emphasis by using a variety of tech- niques, oft en involving an unusual twist or some element of surprise (see 14f ). 14a Coordinate equal ideas; subordinate minor ideas. When combining two or more ideas in one sentence, you have two choices: coordination or subordination. Choose coordina- tion to indicate that the ideas are equal or nearly equal in im- portance. Choose subordination to indicate that one idea is less important than another. Coordination Coordination draws attention equally to two or more ideas. To coordinate single words or phrases, join them with a coordi- nating conjunction or with a pair of correlative conjunctions: bananas and strawberries; not only a lackluster plot but also inferior acting (see 46g). To coordinate independent clauses — word groups that express a complete thought and that can stand alone as a sentence — join 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 141 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph 142 14a Emphasis (coordination and subordination) them with a comma and a coordinating conjunction or with a semicolon: , and , but , or , nor , for , so , yet ; The semicolon is often accompanied by a conjunctive adverb such as moreover, furthermore, therefore, or however or by a tran- sitional phrase such as for example, in other words, or as a matter of fact. (For a longer list, see p. 143.) Assume, for example, that your intention is to draw equal attention to the following two ideas. Social networking Web sites offer ways for people to connect in the virtual world. They do not replace face-to-face forms of social interaction. To coordinate these ideas, you can join them with a comma and the coordinating conjunction but or with a semicolon and the conjunctive adverb however. Social networking Web sites offer ways for people to connect in the virtual world, but they do not replace face-to-face forms of social interaction. Social networking Web sites offer ways for people to connect in the virtual world; however, they do not replace face-to-face forms of social interaction. It is important to choose a coordinating conjunction or con- junctive adverb appropriate to your meaning. In the preceding example, the two ideas contrast with each other, calling for but or however. (For specific coordination strategies, see the chart on p. 143.) Subordination To give unequal emphasis to two or more ideas, express the major idea in an independent clause and place any minor ideas in sub- ordinate clauses or phrases. (For specific subordination strategies, see the chart on p. 144.) Let your intended meaning determine which idea you empha- size. Consider the two ideas about social networking Web sites. Social networking Web sites offer ways for people to connect in the virtual world. They do not replace face-to-face forms of social interaction. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 142 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph minor ideas  •  combining equal ideas 14a 143 If your purpose is to stress the ways that people can connect in the virtual world rather than the limitations of these connections, subordinate the idea about the limitations. Although they do not replace face-to-face forms of social interaction, social networking Web sites offer ways for people to connect in the virtual world. To focus on the limitations of the virtual world, subordinate the idea about the Web sites. Although social networking Web sites offer ways for people to connect in the virtual world, they do not replace face-to-face forms of social interaction. Using coordination to combine sentences of equal importance 1. Consider using a comma and a coordinating conjunction. (See 32a.) , and , but , or , nor , for , so , yet ▶▶ In Orthodox Jewish funeral ceremonies, the shroud is a simple linen and the vestment/., The coffin is plain wood. ^ 2. Consider using a semicolon with a conjunctive adverb or transitional phrase. (See 34b.) also however next as a result in addition now besides in fact of course consequently in other words otherwise finally in the first place still for example meanwhile then for instance moreover therefore furthermore nevertheless thus moreover, she ▶▶ Alicia scored well on the SAT/. ; She also had excellent grades and a ^ record of community service. 3. Consider using a semicolon alone. (See 34a.) in ▶▶ In youth we learn/. ; In age we understand. ^  06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 143 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph 144 14a Emphasis (coordination and subordination) Using subordination to combine sentences of unequal importance 1. Consider putting the less important idea in a subordinate clause beginning with one of the following words. (See 48e.) after before that which although even though unless while as if until who as if since when whom because so that where whose When ▶▶ Elizabeth Cady Stanton proposed a convention to discuss the ^    status of women in America/. , Lucretia Mott agreed. ^ 2. Consider putting the less important idea in an appositive phrase. (See 48c.)     ▶▶ Karate, is a discipline based on the philosophy of nonviolence/., ^ ^ It teaches the art of self-defense. 3. Consider putting the less important idea in a participial phrase. (See 48b.) Noticing ▶▶ I noticed the EpiPen in her tote bag/., I asked her if she has ^ ^ food allergies. EXERCISE 14–1  Use the coordination or subordination technique in brackets to combine each pair of independent clauses. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Ted Williams was one of the best hitters in the history of baseball, but he baseball. He never won a World Series ring. [Use a comma ^ and a coordinating conjunction.] practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  14–5 to 14–8 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 144 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph combining minor ideas  •  choppy 14b 145 a. Williams played for the Boston Red Sox from 1939 to 1960. He managed the Washington Senators and the Texas Rangers for sev- eral years after retiring as a player. [Use a comma and a coordinat- ing conjunction.] b. In 1941, Williams finished the season with a batting average of .406. No player has hit over .400 for a season since then. [Use a semicolon.] c. Williams acknowledged that Joe DiMaggio was a better all-around player. Williams felt that he was a better hitter than DiMaggio. [Use the subordinating conjunction although.] d. Williams was a stubborn man. He always refused to tip his cap to the crowd after a home run because he claimed that fans were fickle. [Use a semicolon and the transitional phrase for example.] e. Williams’s relationship with the media was unfriendly at best. He sarcastically called baseball writers the “knights of the keyboard” in his memoir. [Use a semicolon.]   1. Williams took time out from his baseball career to serve in the Marines during World War II. He went on active duty a second time during the Korean War. [Use a semicolon and the transitional phrase in addition.]   2. Williams was named most valuable player twice in his career. He was listed as the eighth-best baseball player of all time by the Sporting News in 1999. [Use the relative pronoun who.]   3. Williams hit a home run in his final at bat in September 1960. Then he retired as a player. [Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction.]   4. Williams surprised many people with his 1966 Hall of Fame induction speech. It called for recognition of Negro League players and their inclusion in the Hall of Fame. [Use the relative pronoun which.]   5. At the 1999 All-Star game, Ted Williams returned to Fenway Park in Boston to throw out the ceremonial first pitch. For the first time he waved his hat to the cheering fans. [Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction.] 14b  Combine choppy sentences. Short sentences demand attention, so you should use them pri- marily for emphasis. Too many short sentences, one after the other, make for a choppy style. If an idea is not important enough to deserve its own sen- tence, try combining it with a sentence close by. Put any minor ideas in subordinate structures such as phrases or subordinate clauses. (See 48.) 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 145 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph 146 14b Emphasis (coordination and subordination) ▶▶ Th▶ e▶Parks▶Department▶keeps▶the▶use▶of▶insecticides▶to▶a because the minimum/.▶▶Th ▶ e▶city▶is▶concerned▶about▶the▶environment. Th ^ e writer wanted to emphasize that the Parks Department minimizes its use of chemicals, so she put the reason in a subordinate clause beginning with because. ▶▶ Th▶ e▶Chesapeake▶and▶Ohio▶Canal▶,▶is▶a▶184-mile▶waterway ^ constructed▶in▶the▶1800s/.,▶It▶was▶a▶major▶source▶of ^ transportation▶for▶goods▶during▶the▶Civil▶War. A minor idea is now expressed in an appositive phrase (a 184-mile waterway constructed in the 1800s). E ▶▶ Sister▶Consilio▶was▶/enveloped▶in▶a▶black▶robe▶with▶only▶her ^ Sister Consilio face▶and▶hands▶visible/.,▶She▶was▶an▶imposing▶fi▶gure. ^ Because Sister Consilio’s overall impression was more important to the writer’s purpose, the writer put the description of the clothing in a participial phrase beginning with Enveloped. Although subordination is ordinarily the most eff ective technique for combining short, choppy sentences, coordination is appropriate when the ideas are equal in importance. and ▶▶ At▶3:30▶p.m.,▶Forrest▶displayed▶a▶fl▶ag▶of▶truce/.▶Forrest▶sent ^ in▶a▶demand▶for▶unconditional▶surrender. Combining two short sentences by joining their predicates (displayed . . . sent) is an eff ective coordination technique. MULTILINGUAL Unlike some other languages, English does not repeat objects or adverbs in adjective clauses. Th e relative pronoun (that, which, whom) or relative adverb (where) in the adjective clause represents the object or adverb. See 30d. ▶▶ Th ▶ e▶apartment▶that▶we▶rented▶it▶needed▶repairs. Th e pronoun it cannot repeat the relative pronoun that. ▶▶ Th ▶ e▶small▶town▶where▶my▶grandfather▶was▶born▶there▶is ▶ now▶a▶big▶city. Th e adverb there cannot repeat the relative adverb where. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 146 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph choppy  •  overusing and, but, or 14c 147 EXERCISE 14–2  Combine the following sentences by subordinating minor ideas or by coordinating ideas of equal importance. You must de- cide which ideas are minor because the sentences are given out of context. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Agnes, was another girl I worked with/., She was a hyperactive ^ ^ child. a. The X-Men comic books and Japanese woodcuts of kabuki dancers were part of Marlena’s research project on popular culture. They covered the tabletop and the chairs. b. Our waitress was costumed in a kimono. She had painted her face white. She had arranged her hair in a lacquered beehive. c. Students can apply for a spot in the leadership program. The program teaches thinking and communication skills. d. Shore houses were flooded up to the first floor. Beaches were washed away. Brant’s Lighthouse was swallowed by the sea. e. Laura Thackray is an engineer at Volvo Car Corporation. She addressed women’s safety needs. She designed a pregnant crash-test dummy.   1. I noticed that the sky was glowing orange and red. I bent down to crawl into the bunker.   2. The Market Inn is located on North Wharf. It doesn’t look very impressive from the outside. The food, however, is excellent.   3. He walked up to the pitcher’s mound. He dug his toe into the ground. He swung his arm around backward and forward. Then he threw the ball and struck the batter out.   4. Eryn and Maeve have decided to start a business. They have known each other since kindergarten. They will renovate homes for people with disabilities.   5. The first football card set was released by the Goudey Gum Company in 1933. The set featured only three football players. They were Red Grange, Bronko Nagurski, and Knute Rockne. 14c  Avoid ineffective or excessive coordination. Coordinate structures are appropriate only when you intend to draw readers’ attention equally to two or more ideas: Professor Sakellarios praises loudly, and she criticizes softly. If one idea is practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  14–5 to 14–8 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 147 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph 148 14c Emphasis (coordination and subordination) more important than another — or if a coordinating conjunction does not clearly signal the relationship between the ideas — you should subordinate the less important idea. INEFFECTIVE Closets were taxed as rooms, and most colonists coordination stored their clothes in chests or clothespresses. IMPROVED with Because closets were taxed as rooms, most colonists subordination stored their clothes in chests or clothespresses. Because it is so easy to string ideas together with and, writers often rely too heavily on coordination in their rough drafts. The cure for excessive coordination is simple: Look for opportunities to tuck minor ideas into subordinate clauses or phrases. After four hours, ▶▶ Four hours went by, and a rescue truck finally arrived, but ^ by that time we had been evacuated in a helicopter. Three independent clauses were excessive. The least important idea has become a prepositional phrase. EXERCISE 14–3  The following sentences show coordinated ideas (ideas joined with a coordinating conjunction or a semicolon). Re- structure the sentences by subordinating minor ideas. You must decide which ideas are minor because the sentences are given out of context. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: where they The rowers returned to shore, and had a party on the beach to celebrate ^ and celebrated the start of the season. ^ a. These particles are known as “stealth liposomes,” and they can hide in the body for a long time without detection. b. Jan is a competitive gymnast and majors in biology; her goal is to apply her athletic experience and her science degree to a career in sports medicine. c. Students, textile workers, and labor unions have loudly protested sweatshop abuses, so apparel makers have been forced to examine their labor practices. practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  14–5 to 14–8 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 148 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph subordination for minor ideas 14d 149 d. IRC (Internet relay chat) was developed in a European university; it was created as a way for a group of graduate students to talk about projects from their dorm rooms. e. The cafeteria’s new menu has an international flavor, and it includes everything from enchiladas and pizza to pad thai and sauerbraten.   1. Victor switched on his remote-control lawn mower, and it began to shudder and emit clouds of smoke.   2. Iguanas are dependent on ultraviolet rays from the sun, so in the winter months they must be put under ultraviolet-coated lights that can be purchased at most pet stores.   3. The Civil War Trust was founded in 1991; it spearheads a nation- wide campaign to protect America’s Civil War battlefields.   4. We did not expect to receive so many large orders so quickly, and we are short on inventory.   5. Mother spread her love equally among us all, but she made each of us feel special in our own way. 14d  Do not subordinate major ideas. If a sentence buries its major idea in a subordinate construction, readers may not give the idea enough attention. Make sure to ex- press your major idea in an independent clause and to subordi- nate any minor ideas. defeated Thomas E. Dewey, ▶▶ Harry S. Truman, who was the unexpected winner of the ^ 1948 presidential election/, . defeated Thomas E. Dewey. The writer wanted to focus on^Truman’s unexpected victory, but the original sentence buried this information in an adjective clause. The revision puts the more important idea in an independent clause and tucks the less important idea into an adjective clause (who defeated Thomas E. Dewey). As ▶▶ I was driving home from my new job, heading down ^ Ranchitos Road, when my car suddenly overheated. The writer wanted to emphasize that the car overheated, not the fact of driving home. The revision expresses the major idea in an independent clause and places the less important idea in an adverb clause (As I was driving home from my new job). 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 149 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph 150 14e Emphasis (coordination and subordination) 14e  Do not subordinate excessively. In attempting to avoid short, choppy sentences, writers some- times go to the opposite extreme, putting more subordinate ideas into a sentence than its structure can bear. If a sentence collapses of its own weight, occasionally it can be restructured. More often, however, such sentences must be divided. ▶▶ In Animal Liberation, Peter Singer argues that animals possess H nervous systems and can feel pain. and that /he therefore ^ ^ believes that “the ethical principle on which human equality rests requires us to extend equal consideration to animals” (1). Excessive subordination makes it difficult for the reader to focus on the quoted passage. By splitting the original sentence into two separate sentences, the writer draws attention to Peter Singer’s main claim, that humans should give “equal consideration to animals.” EXERCISE 14–4  In each of the following sentences, the idea that the writer wished to emphasize is buried in a subordinate construction. Restructure each sentence so that the independent clause expresses the major idea, as indicated in brackets, and lesser ideas are subordinated. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Although Catherine has weathered many hardships, although she has ^ rarely become discouraged. [Emphasize that Catherine has rarely become discouraged.] a. Gina worked as an aide for the relief agency, distributing food and medical supplies. [Emphasize distributing food and medical supplies.] b. Janbir spent every Saturday learning tabla drumming, noticing with each hour of practice that his memory for complex patterns was improving. [Emphasize Janbir’s memory.] c. The rotor hit, gouging a hole about an eighth of an inch deep in my helmet. [Emphasize that the rotor gouged a hole in the helmet.] practice  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity  >  14–5 to 14–8 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 150 7/26/11 10:00 AM emph overusing subordination  •  sentence endings  •  parallelism  •  punctuation 14f 151 d. My grandfather, who raised his daughters the old-fashioned way, was born eighty years ago in Puerto Rico. [Emphasize how the grandfather raised his daughters.] e. The Narcan reversed the depressive effect of the drug, saving the patient’s life. [Emphasize that the patient’s life was saved.]   1. Fatima, who studied Persian miniature painting after college, majored in early childhood education. [Emphasize Fatima’s studies after college.]   2. I was losing consciousness when my will to live kicked in. [Emphasize the will to live.]   3. Using a sliding compound miter saw, the carpenter made intricate edges on the cabinets. [Emphasize the carpenter’s use of the saw.]   4. Ernie was using origami to solve some tricky manufacturing problems when he decided to leave engineering and become an artist. [Emphasize Ernie’s decision.]   5. As the undulating waves glinted in the sun, the paddlers synchro- nized their strokes. [Emphasize the brightness of the waves.] 14f  Experiment with techniques for gaining special emphasis. By experimenting with certain techniques, usually involving some element of surprise, you can draw attention to ideas that deserve special emphasis. Use such techniques sparingly, how- ever, or they will lose their punch. The writer who tries to empha- size everything ends up emphasizing nothing. Using sentence endings for emphasis You can highlight an idea simply by withholding it until the end of a sentence. The technique works something like a punch line. In the following example, the sentence’s meaning is not revealed until its very last word. The only completely consistent people are the dead.  — Aldous Huxley Using parallel structure for emphasis Parallel grammatical structure draws special attention to paired ideas or to items in a series. (See 9.) When parallel ideas are paired, the emphasis falls on words that underscore comparisons 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 151 7/26/11 10:00 AM var 152 15 Sentence variety or contrasts, especially when they occur at the end of a phrase or clause. We must stop talking about the American dream and start listening to the dreams of Americans. — Reubin Askew In a parallel series, the emphasis falls at the end, so it is gen- erally best to end with the most dramatic or climactic item in the series. Sister Charity enjoyed passing out writing punishments: translate the Ten Commandments into Latin, type a thousand-word essay on good manners, copy the New Testament with a quill pen. — Marie Visosky, student Using an occasional short sentence for emphasis Too many short sentences in a row will fast become monoto- nous (see 14b), but an occasional short sentence, when played off against longer sentences in the same passage, will draw attention to an idea. Th e great secret, known to internists and learned early in marriage by internists’ wives [or husbands], but still hidden from the general public, is that most things get better by themselves. Most things, in fact, are better by morning. — Lewis Th omas 15 Provide some variety. When a rough draft is fi lled with too many sentences that begin the same way or have the same structure, try injecting some variety — as long as you can do so without sacrifi cing clarity or ease of reading. 15a Vary your sentence openings. Most sentences in English begin with the subject, move to the verb, and continue to the object, with modifi ers tucked in along the way or put at the end. For the most part, such sentences are 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 152 7/26/11 10:00 AM var short sentences  •  sentence openings  •  same-sounding sentences  •  sentence structures 15b 153 fine. Put too many of them in a row, however, and they become monotonous. Adverbial modifiers are easily movable when they modify verbs; they can often be inserted ahead of the subject. Such modi- fiers might be single words, phrases, or clauses. Eventually a // few drops of sap eventually began to trickle into the ▶▶ A ^ bucket. Like most adverbs, eventually does not need to appear close to the verb it modifies (began). Just as the sun was coming up, a  / pair of black ducks flew over the pond. just as the sun was ▶▶ A ^ ^ coming up. The adverb clause, which modifies the verb flew, is as clear at the beginning of the sentence as it is at the end. Adjectives and participial phrases can frequently be moved to the beginning of a sentence without loss of clarity. Dejected and withdrawn, ▶▶ Edward ,/dejected and withdrawn, nearly gave up his search ^ for a job. A John and I ▶▶ John and I, /anticipating a peaceful evening, sat down at the ^ ^ campfire to brew a cup of coffee. Tip:  When beginning a sentence with an adjective or a participial phrase, make sure that the subject of the sentence names the per- son or thing described in the introductory phrase. If it doesn’t, the phrase will dangle. (See 12e.) 15b  Use a variety of sentence structures. A writer should not rely too heavily on simple sentences and com- pound sentences, for the effect tends to be both monotonous and choppy. (See 14b and 14c.) Too many complex or compound- complex sentences, however, can be equally monotonous. If your 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 153 7/26/11 10:00 AM var 154 15c Sentence variety style tends to one or the other extreme, try to achieve a better mix of sentence types. The major sentence types are illustrated in the following sentences, all taken from Flannery O’Connor’s “The King of the Birds,” an essay describing the author’s pet peafowl. SIMPLE  requently the cock combines the lifting of his tail F with the raising of his voice. COMPOUND   ny chicken’s dusting hole is out of place in a A flower bed, but the peafowl’s hole, being the size of a small crater, is more so. COMPLEX   e peacock does most of his serious strutting in Th the spring and summer when he has a full tail to do it with. COMPOUND- The cock’s plumage requires two years to attain its COMPLEX  attern, and for the rest of his life, this chicken will p act as though he designed it himself. For a fuller discussion of sentence types, see 49a. 15c  Try inverting sentences occasionally. A sentence is inverted if it does not follow the normal subject- verb-object pattern (see 47c). Many inversions sound artificial and should be avoided except in the most formal contexts. But if an in- version sounds natural, it can provide a welcome touch of variety. Opposite the produce section is a / refrigerated case of mouthwatering cheeses; is opposite ▶▶ A ^ ^ the produce section; a friendly attendant will cut off just the amount you want. The revision inverts the normal subject-verb order by moving the verb, is, ahead of its subject, case. Set at the top two corners of the stage were huge ▶▶ Huge lavender hearts outlined in bright white lights. were ^ ^ set at the top two corners of the stage. In the revision, the subject, hearts, appears after the verb, were set. Notice that the two parts of the verb are also inverted — and separated from each other (Set . . . were) — without any awkwardness or loss of meaning. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 154 7/26/11 10:00 AM var inverted sentence  •  verb before subject 15c 155 Inverted sentences are used for emphasis as well as for vari- ety (see 14f). EXERCISE 15–1  Improve sentence variety in each of the following sentences by using the technique suggested in brackets. Revisions of let- tered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: To protect endangered marine turtles, fishing Fishing crews place turtle excluder devices in fishing nets. ^ ^ to protect endangered marine turtles. [Begin the sentence with the adverbial infinitive phrase.] a. The exhibits for insects and spiders are across the hall from the fossils exhibit. [Invert the sentence.] b. Sayuri becomes a successful geisha after growing up desperately poor in Japan. [Move the adverb clause to the beginning of the sentence.] c. The 1980 eruption of Mount St. Helens was the deadliest, most destructive volcanic eruption in US history. Researchers believe that a series of nearby earthquakes contributed to the eruption. [Combine the two sentences into a complex sentence.] d. Ice cream typically contains 10 percent milk fat. Premium ice cream may contain up to 16 percent milk fat and has considerably less air in the product. [Combine the two sentences as a compound sentence.] e. The economy may recover more quickly than expected if home val- ues climb. [Move the adverb clause to the beginning of the sentence.]   1. The Dust Bowl farmers, looking wearily into the cameras of US government photographers, represented the harshest effects of the Great Depression. [Move the participial phrase to the beginning of the sentence.]   2. The Trans Alaska Pipeline was completed in 1977. It has moved more than fifteen billion barrels of oil since 1977. [Combine the two sentences into a complex sentence.]   3. Mr. Guo habitually dresses in loose clothing and canvas shoes for his wushu workout. [Move the adverb to the beginning of the sentence.]   4. A number of obstacles are strategically placed throughout a firefighter training maze. [Invert the sentence.]   5. Ian McKellen is a British actor who made his debut in 1961 and was knighted in 1991, and he played Gandalf in the movie trilogy The Lord of the Rings. [Make a simple sentence. See also 49a.] 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 155 7/26/11 10:00 AM w 156 16 Wordy sentences ExERCISE 15–2 Edit the following paragraph to increase sentence variety. Making architectural models is a skill that requires patience and precision. It is an art that illuminates a design. Architects come up with a grand and intricate vision. Draft spersons convert that vision into blueprints. Th e model maker follows the blueprints. Th e model maker builds a miniature version of the structure. Modelers can work in traditional materials like wood and clay and paint. Modelers can work in newer materials like Styrofoam and liquid polymers. Some modelers still use cardboard, paper, and glue. Other modelers prefer glue guns, deformable plastic, and thin aluminum and brass wire. Th e modeler may seem to be making a small mess in the early stages of model building. In the end the modeler has completed a small-scale structure. Architect Rem Koolhaas has insisted that plans reveal the logic of a design. He has argued that models expose the architect’s vision. Th e model maker’s art makes this vision real. 16 Tighten wordy sentences. Long sentences are not necessarily wordy, nor are short sentences always concise. A sentence is wordy if it can be tightened without loss of meaning. 16a Eliminate redundancies. Writers oft en repeat themselves unnecessarily, thinking that expres- sions such as cooperate together, yellow in color, or basic essentials add emphasis to their writing. In reality, such redundancies do just the opposite. Th ere is no need to say the same thing twice. works ▶▶ Daniel▶is▶now▶employed▶at▶a▶private▶rehabilitation▶center ^ working▶as▶a▶registered▶physical▶therapist. Th ough modifi ers ordinarily add meaning to the words they modify, occasionally they are redundant. ▶▶ Sylvia▶very▶hurriedly▶scribbled▶her▶name,▶address,▶and▶phone number▶on▶a▶greasy▶napkin. Th e word scribbled already suggests that Sylvia wrote very hurriedly. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 156 7/26/11 10:00 AM w sentence variety  •  repeated ideas  •  repeated words  •  direct language 16c 157 ▶▶ Gabriele Muccino’s film The Pursuit of Happyness tells the story of a single father determined in his mind to pull himself and his son out of homelessness. The word determined contains the idea that his resolution formed in his mind. 16b  Avoid unnecessary repetition of words. Though words may be repeated deliberately for effect, repetitions will seem awkward if they are clearly unnecessary. When a more concise version is possible, choose it. ▶▶ Our fifth patient, in room six, is a/ mentally ill. patient. grow ^ ▶▶ The best teachers help each student become a better student ^ both academically and emotionally. 16c  Cut empty or inflated phrases. An empty phrase can be cut with little or no loss of meaning. Common examples are introductory word groups that weaken the writer’s authority by apologizing or hedging: in my opinion, I think that, it seems that, one must admit that, and so on. O / current immigration policy is misguided. ▶▶ In my opinion, our ^ Readers understand without being told that they are hearing the writer’s opinion. Inflated phrases can be reduced to a word or two without loss of meaning. INFLATED CONCISE along the lines of like as a matter of fact in fact at all times always at the present time now, currently at this point in time now, currently because of the fact that because 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 157 7/26/11 10:00 AM w 158 16d Wordy sentences INFLATED CONCISE by means of by by virtue of the fact that because due to the fact that because for the purpose of for for the reason that because have the ability to be able to, can in light of the fact that because in order to to in spite of the fact that although, though in the event that if in the final analysis finally in the nature of like in the neighborhood of about until such time as until M / skills and experience are a perfect ▶▶ At this point in time my ^ match for the position of assistant manager. 16d  Simplify the structure. If the structure of a sentence is needlessly indirect, try simplify- ing it. Look for opportunities to strengthen the verb. ▶▶ The financial analyst claimed that because of volatile market conditions she could not make an estimate of the company’s future profits. The verb estimate is more vigorous and concise than make an estimate of. The colorless verbs is, are, was, and were frequently generate excess words. studied ▶▶ Investigators were involved in studying the effect of classical ^ music on unborn babies. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 158 7/26/11 10:00 AM w sentence structure  •  strong verb  •  using fewer words 16e 159 The revision is more direct and concise. The action (studying), originally appearing in a subordinate structure, has become a strong verb, studied. The expletive constructions there is and there are (or there was and there were) can also generate excess words. The same is true of expletive constructions beginning with it. (See 47c.) A / ▶▶ There is another module that tells the story of Charles Darwin ^ and introduces the theory of evolution. A must / night managers follow strict procedures ▶▶ It is imperative that all ^ ^ when locking the safe. Finally, verbs in the passive voice may be needlessly indirect. When the active voice expresses your meaning as effectively, use it. (See 8a.) our coaches have recruited ▶▶ All too often, athletes with marginal academic skills. have ^        ^ been recruited by our coaches. 16e  Reduce clauses to phrases, phrases to single words. Word groups functioning as modifiers can often be made more compact. Look for any opportunities to reduce clauses to phrases or phrases to single words. ▶▶ We took a side trip to Monticello, which was the home of Thomas Jefferson. this ▶▶ In the essay, that follows, I argue against Immanuel Kant’s ^ problematic ^ claim that we should not lie under any circumstances , /. ^ ^ which is a problematic claim. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 159 7/26/11 10:00 AM w 160 16e Wordy sentences EXERCISE 16–1  Edit the following sentences to reduce wordiness. Re- visions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: even though The Wilsons moved into the house in spite of the fact that ^ the back door was only ten yards from the train tracks. a. Martin Luther King Jr. was a man who set a high standard for future leaders to meet. b. Alice has been deeply in love with cooking since she was little and could first peek over the edge of a big kitchen tabletop. c. In my opinion, Bloom’s race for the governorship is a futile exercise. d. It is pretty important in being a successful graphic designer to have technical knowledge and at the same time an eye for color and balance. e. Your task will be the delivery of correspondence to all employees in the company.   1. Seeing the barrels, the driver immediately slammed on his brakes.   2. A really well-stocked bookshelf should have classical literature on it as well as important modern works of the current day.   3. China’s enormously huge workforce has an effect on the global world of high-tech manufacturing of things.   4. A typical autocross course consists of at least two straightaways, and the rest of the course is made up of numerous slaloms and several sharp turns.   5. At breakfast time, Mehrdad always started his day with canta- loupe, lemon yogurt, and black coffee. EXERCISE 16–2  Edit the following business memo to reduce wordiness. To: District managers From: Margaret Davenport, Vice President Subject: Customer database It has recently been brought to my attention that a percentage of our sales representatives have been failing to log reports of their client calls in our customer database each and every day. I have also learned that some representatives are not checking the database on a routine basis. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity >  16–3 to 16–6 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 160 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr using fewer words • plain language 17a 161 Our clients sometimes receive a multiple number of sales calls from us when a sales representative is not cognizant of the fact that the client has been contacted at a previous time. Repeated telephone calls from our representatives annoy our customers. Th ese repeated telephone calls also portray our company as one that is lacking in organization. Eff ective as of immediately, direct your representatives to do the following: • Record each and every customer contact in the customer database at the end of each day, without fail. • Check the database at the very beginning of each day to ensure that telephone communications will not be initiated with clients who have already been called. Let me extend my appreciation to you for cooperating in this important matter. 17 Choose appropriate language. Language is appropriate when it suits your subject, engages your audience, and blends naturally with your own voice. To some extent, your choice of language will be governed by the conventions of the genre in which you are writing. When in doubt about the conventions of a particular genre — lab reports, informal essays, business memos, and so on — consult your instructor or look at models written by experts in the fi eld. 17a Stay away from jargon. Jargon is specialized language used among members of a trade, profession, or group. Use jargon only when readers will be familiar with it; even then, use it only when plain English will not do as well. JARGON We outsourced the work to an outfi t in Ohio because we didn’t have the bandwidth to tackle it in-house. REVISED We hired a company in Ohio because we had too few employees to do the work. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 161 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr 162 17b Appropriate language Broadly defined, jargon includes puffed-up language designed more to impress readers than to inform them. The following are common examples from business, government, higher education, and the military, with plain English alternatives in parentheses. ameliorate (improve) indicator (sign) commence (begin) optimal (best, most favorable) components (parts) parameters (boundaries, limits) endeavor (try) peruse (read, look over) facilitate (help) prior to (before) impact (v.) (affect) utilize (use) Sentences filled with jargon are hard to read, and they are often wordy as well. ▶▶ All employees functioning in the capacity of work-study must prove that they are currently enrolled. students are required to give evidence of current enrollment. ^ talk working ▶▶ The CEO should dialogue with investors about partnering buy ^ poor neighborhoods.^ with clients to purchase land in economically deprived zones. ^ ^ 17b  Avoid pretentious language, most euphemisms, and “doublespeak.” Hoping to sound profound or poetic, some writers embroider their thoughts with large words and flowery phrases. Such pre- tentious language is so ornate and wordy that it obscures the writer’s meaning. use of colorful language reveals that she has a ▶▶ Taylor’s employment of multihued means of expression draws ^ view of back the curtains and lets slip the nostalgic vantage point ^and does not from which she observes American society as well as her lack understand ^ of comprehension of economic realities. Euphemisms — nice-sounding words or phrases substituted for words thought to sound harsh or ugly — are sometimes appropriate. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 162 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr plain language 17b 163 Many cultures, for example, accept euphemisms when speaking or writing about excretion (I have to go to the bathroom), sexual inter- course (They did not sleep together), and the like. Most euphemisms, however, are needlessly evasive or even deceitful. Like pretentious language, they obscure the intended meaning. EUPHEMISM PLAIN ENGLISH adult entertainment pornography preowned automobile used car economically deprived poor negative savings debts strategic withdrawal retreat or defeat revenue enhancers taxes chemical dependency drug addiction downsize lay off, fire correctional facility prison The term doublespeak applies to any deliberately evasive or de- ceptive language, including euphemisms. Doublespeak is especially common in politics and business. A military retreat is described as tactical redeployment; enhanced interrogation is a euphemism for “torture”; and downsizing really means “firing employees.” EXERCISE 17–1  Edit the following sentences to eliminate jargon, pretentious or flowery language, euphemisms, and doublespeak. You may need to make substantial changes in some sentences. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: mastered After two weeks in the legal department, Sue has worked office ^ has performance into the routine, of the office, and her functional and self- ^ ^ ^ management skills have exceeded all expectations. a. In my youth, my family was under the constraints of difficult financial circumstances. b. In order that I may increase my expertise in the area of delivery of services to clients, I feel that participation in this conference will be beneficial. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity >  17–6 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 163 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr 164 17b Appropriate language c. The prophetic meteorologist cautioned the general populace regarding the possible deleterious effects of the impending tempest. d. Government-sanctioned investigations into the continued value of after-school programs indicate a perceived need in the public realm at large. e. Passengers should endeavor to finalize the customs declaration form prior to exiting the aircraft.   1. We learned that the mayor had been engaging in a creative transfer of city employees’ pension funds.   2. After a cursory examination of brand-new research findings on textiles, Patricia and the members of her team made the decision to engage in a series of visits to fashion manufacturers in the local vicinity.   3. The nurse announced that there had been a negative patient-care outcome due to a therapeutic misadventure on the part of the surgeon.   4. A generally leisurely pace at the onset of tai chi exercises can yield a variety of beneficial points within a short period of time.   5. The bottom line is that the company is experiencing a negative cash flow. EXERCISE 17–2  Edit the following e-mail message to eliminate jargon. Dear Ms. Jackson: We members of the Nakamura Reyes team value our external partnering arrangements with Creative Software, and I look forward to seeing you next week at the trade show in Fresno. Per Mr. Reyes, please let me know when you’ll have some downtime there so that he and I can conduct a strategizing session with you concerning our production schedule. It’s crucial that we all be on the same page re our 2011–2012 product release dates. Before we have some face time, however, I have some findings to share. Our customer-centric approach to the new products will necessitate that user testing periods trend upward. The enclosed data should help you effectuate any adjustments to your timeline; let me know asap if you require any additional information to facilitate the above. Before we convene in Fresno, Mr. Reyes and I will agendize any further talking points. Thanks for your help. Sincerely, Sylvia Nakamura 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 164 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr plain language  •  using established terms  •  avoiding slang 17c 165 17c  In most contexts, avoid slang, regional expressions, and nonstandard English. Slang is an informal and sometimes private vocabulary that ex- presses the solidarity of a group such as teenagers, rock musi- cians, or football fans; it is subject to more rapid change than standard English. For example, the slang teenagers use to express approval changes every few years; cool, groovy, neat, awesome, phat, and sick have replaced one another within the last three de- cades. Sometimes slang becomes so widespread that it is accepted as standard vocabulary. Jazz, for example, started out as slang but is now a standard term for a style of music. Although slang has a certain vitality, it is a code that not ev- eryone understands, and it is very informal. Therefore, it is inap- propriate in most written work. we lost ▶▶ When the server crashed unexpectedly, three hours of ^ unsaved data. went down the tubes. ^ disgust you. ▶▶ The government’s “filth” guidelines for food will make you ^ yack. Regional expressions are common to a group in a geographic area. Let’s talk with the bark off (for Let’s speak frankly) is an ex- pression in the southern United States, for example. Regional expressions have the same limitations as slang and are therefore inappropriate in most writing. ▶▶ John was four blocks from the house before he remembered turn on to cut the headlights. on. ^ ^ ▶▶ Seamus wasn’t for sure, but he thought the whales might be migrating during his visit to Oregon. Standard English is the language used in all academic, business, and professional fields. Nonstandard English is spoken by people with a common regional or social heritage. Although nonstandard 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 165 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr 166 17d Appropriate language English may be appropriate when spoken within a close group, it is out of place in most formal and informal writing. doesn’t ▶▶ The governor said he don’t know if he will approve the budget ^ without the clean air provision. If you speak a nonstandard dialect, try to identify the ways in which your dialect differs from standard English. Look especially for the following features of nonstandard English, which com- monly cause problems in writing. Misusing verb forms such as began and begun (See 27a.) Leaving -s endings off verbs (See 27c.) Leaving -ed endings off verbs (See 27d.) Leaving out necessary verbs (See 27e.) Using double negatives (See 26e.) 17d  Choose an appropriate level of formality. In deciding on a level of formality, consider both your subject and your audience. Does the subject demand a dignified treat- ment, or is a relaxed tone more suitable? Will readers be put off if you assume too close a relationship with them, or might you alienate them by seeming too distant? For most college and professional writing, some degree of formality is appropriate. In a job application letter, for example, it is a mistake to sound too breezy and informal. TOO INFORMAL I ’d like to get that sales job you’ve got in the paper. MORE FORMAL I would like to apply for the position of sales associate advertised in the Peoria Journal Star. Informal writing is appropriate for private letters, personal e-mail and text messages, and business correspondence between close associates. Like spoken conversation, informal writing allows contractions (don’t, I’ll ) and colloquial words (kids, kinda). Vocab- ulary and sentence structure are rarely complex. In choosing a level of formality, above all be consistent. When a writer’s voice shifts from one level of formality to another, readers receive mixed messages. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 166 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr formal vs. informal  •  avoiding sexist language  •  finding sexist language 17e 167 ▶▶ Once a pitcher for the Blue Jays, Jorge shared with me began the secrets of his trade. His lesson commenced with his thrown ^ famous curveball, implemented by tucking the little finger ^ revealed behind the ball. Next he elucidated the mysteries of the ^ sucker pitch, a slow ball coming behind a fast windup. Words such as commenced and elucidated are inappropriate for the subject matter, and they clash with informal terms such as sucker pitch and fast windup. EXERCISE 17–3  Revise the following passage so that the level of for- mality is appropriate for a letter to the editor of a major newspaper. In pop culture, college grads who return home to live with the folks are seen as good-for-nothing losers who mooch off their families. And many older adults seem to feel that the trend of moving back home after school, which was rare in their day, is becoming too commonplace today. But society must realize that times have changed. Most young adults want to live on their own ASAP, but they graduate with heaps of debt and need some time to get back on their feet. College tuition and the cost of housing have increased way more than salary increases in the past fifty years. Also, the job market is tighter and more jobs require advanced degrees than in the past. So before people go off on college graduates who move back into their parents’ house for a spell, they’d better consider all the facts. 17e  Avoid sexist language. Sexist language is language that stereotypes or demeans women or men. Using nonsexist language is a matter of courtesy — of respect for and sensitivity to the feelings of others. Recognizing sexist language Some sexist language is easy to recognize because it reflects genu- ine contempt for women: referring to a woman as a “chick,” for example, or calling a lawyer a “lady lawyer.” Other forms of sexist language are less blatant. The following practices, while they may not result from conscious sexism, reflect 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 167 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr 168 17e Appropriate language stereotypical thinking: referring to members of one profession as exclusively male or exclusively female (teachers as women or com- puter engineers as men, for instance), using different conventions when naming or identifying women and men, or assuming that all of one’s readers are men. STEREOTYPICAL LANGUAGE After a nursing student graduates, she must face a difficult state board examination. [Not all nursing students are women.] Running for city council are Boris Stotsky, an attorney, and Mrs. Cynthia Jones, a professor of English and mother of three. [The title Mrs. and the phrase mother of three are irrelevant.] Still other forms of sexist language result from outdated tradi- tions. The pronouns he, him, and his, for instance, were tradition- ally used to refer generically to persons of either sex. Nowadays, to avoid that sexist usage, some writers use she, her, and hers generi- cally or substitute the female pronouns alternately with the male pronouns. GENERIC PRONOUNS A journalist is motivated by his deadline. A good interior designer treats her clients’ ideas respectfully. But both forms are sexist — for excluding one sex entirely and for making assumptions about the members of particular professions. Similarly, the nouns man and men were once used to refer generically to persons of either sex. Current usage demands gender-neutral terms for references to both men and women. INAPPROPRIATE APPROPRIATE chairman chairperson, moderator, chair, head congressman member of Congress, representative, legislator fireman firefighter foreman supervisor mailman mail carrier, postal worker, letter carrier to man to operate, to staff mankind people, humans manpower personnel, staff policeman police officer weatherman forecaster, meteorologist 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 168 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr using nonsexist language 17e 169 Revising sexist language When revising sexist language, you may be tempted to substi- tute he or she and his or her. These terms are inclusive but wordy; fine in small doses, they can become awkward when repeated throughout an essay. A better revision strategy is to write in the plural; yet another strategy is to recast the sentence so that the problem does not arise. SEXIST A journalist is motivated by his deadline. A good interior designer treats her clients’ ideas respectfully. ACCEPTABLE BUT WORDY A journalist is motivated by his or her deadline. A good interior designer treats his or her clients’ ideas respectfully. BETTER: USING THE PLURAL Journalists are motivated by their deadlines. Good interior designers treat their clients’ ideas respectfully. BETTER: RECASTING THE SENTENCE A journalist is motivated by a deadline. A good interior designer treats clients’ ideas respectfully. For more examples of these revision strategies, see 22. EXERCISE 17–4  Edit the following sentences to eliminate sexist lan- guage or sexist assumptions. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Scholarship athletes their A scholarship athlete must be as concerned about his ^ they are their ^ academic performance as he is about his athletic performance. ^ ^ a. Mrs. Geralyn Farmer, who is the mayor’s wife, is the chief surgeon at University Hospital. Dr. Paul Green is her assistant. b. Every applicant wants to know how much he will earn. c. An elementary school teacher should understand the concept of nurturing if she intends to be effective. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity >  17–7 and 17–8 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 169 7/26/11 10:00 AM appr 170 17f Appropriate language d. An obstetrician needs to be available to his patients at all hours. e. If man does not stop polluting his environment, mankind will perish.   1. A fireman must always be on call even when he is off duty.   2. The chairman for the new program in digital art is Ariana Tamlin, an accomplished portrait painter, computer programmer, and cookie baker.   3. In the governor’s race, Lena Weiss, a defense lawyer and mother of two, easily defeated Harvey Tower, an architect.   4. Recent military history has shown that lady combat helicopter pilots are as skilled, reliable, and resourceful as men.   5. An emergency room head nurse must know how to use sophisti- cated digital equipment if she is to keep track of all her patients’ data and guide her medical team. EXERCISE 17–5  Eliminate sexist language or sexist assumptions in the following job posting for an elementary school teacher. We are looking for qualified women for the position of elementary school teacher. The ideal candidate should have a bachelor’s degree, a state teaching certificate, and one year of student teaching. She should be knowledgeable in all elementary subject areas, including science and math. While we want our new teacher to have a commanding presence in the classroom, we are also looking for motherly characteristics such as patience and trustworthiness. She must be able to both motivate an entire classroom and work with each student one-on-one to assess his individual needs. She must also be comfortable communicating with the parents of her students. For salary and benefits information, including maternity leave policy, please contact the Martin County School Board. Any qualified applicant should submit her résumé by March 15. 17f  Revise language that may offend groups of people. Obviously it is impolite to use offensive terms such as Polack and redneck, but biased language can take more subtle forms. Because language evolves over time, names once thought acceptable may become offensive. When describing groups of people, choose names that the groups currently use to describe themselves. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 170 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact using nonsexist language • avoiding stereotypes • implied vs. dictionary meaning 18a 171 Lakota ▶▶ North▶Dakota▶takes▶its▶name▶from▶the▶Indian▶word▶meaning ^ “friend”▶or▶“ally.” Asian ▶▶ Many▶Oriental▶immigrants▶have▶recently▶settled▶in▶our▶town. ^ Negative stereotypes (such as “drives like a teenager” or “sour as a spinster”) are of course off ensive. But you should avoid stereo- typing a person or a group even if you believe your generalization to be positive. an excell ent math and science student, ▶▶ It▶was▶no▶surprise▶that▶Greer,▶a▶Chinese▶American,▶was▶ ^ selected▶for▶the▶honors▶chemistry▶program. 18 Find the exact words. Two reference works (or their online equivalents) will help you fi nd words to express your meaning exactly: a good dictionary, such as The American Heritage Dictionary or Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary, and a collection of synonyms and antonyms, such as Roget’s International Thesaurus. TIP: Do not turn to a thesaurus in search of fl owery or impressive words. Look instead for words that exactly express your meaning. 18a Select words with appropriate connotations. In addition to their strict dictionary meanings (or denotations), words have connotations, emotional colorings that aff ect how readers respond to them. Th e word steel denotes “commercial iron that contains carbon,” but it also calls up a cluster of images associated with steel. Th ese associations give the word its conno- tations — cold, hard, smooth, unbending. If the connotation of a word does not seem appropriate for your purpose, your audience, or your subject matter, you should 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 171 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact 172 18b Exact words change the word. When a more appropriate synonym does not come quickly to mind, consult a dictionary or a thesaurus. ▶▶ When American soldiers returned home after World War II, left many women abandoned their jobs in favor of marriage. ^ The word abandoned is too negative for the context. EXERCISE 18–1  Use a dictionary and a thesaurus to find at least four synonyms for each of the following words. Be prepared to explain any slight differences in meaning.   1. decay (verb) 3. hurry (verb) 5. secret (adjective)   2. difficult (adjective) 4. pleasure (noun) 6. talent (noun) 18b  Prefer specific, concrete nouns. Unlike general nouns, which refer to broad classes of things, spe- cific nouns point to particular items. Film, for example, names a general class, fantasy film names a narrower class, and The Golden Compass is more specific still. Other examples: team, football team, Denver Broncos; music, symphony, Beethoven’s Ninth. Unlike abstract nouns, which refer to qualities and ideas (  justice, beauty, realism, dignity), concrete nouns point to imme- diate, often sensory experience and to physical objects (steeple, asphalt, lilac, stone, garlic). Specific, concrete nouns express meaning more vividly than general or abstract ones. Although general and abstract language is sometimes necessary to convey your meaning, use specific, concrete words whenever possible. ▶▶ The senator spoke about the challenges of the future: pollution, dwindling resources, and terrorism. the environment and world peace. ^ Nouns such as thing, area, aspect, factor, and individual are especially dull and imprecise. mo therhood, and memory. ▶▶ Toni Morrison’s Beloved is about slavery, among other things. ^ experienced technician. ▶▶ Try pairing a trainee with an individual with technical experience. ^ 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 172 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact specific nouns  •  concrete nouns  •  misused words  •  confused words 18c 173 18c  Do not misuse words. If a word is not in your active vocabulary, you may find yourself misusing it, sometimes with embarrassing consequences. When in doubt, check the dictionary. climbing ▶▶ The fans were migrating up the bleachers in search of seats. ^ permeated ▶▶ The Internet has so diffused our culture that it touches all ^ segments of society. Be especially alert for misused word forms — using a noun such as absence, significance, or persistence, for example, when your meaning requires the adjective absent, significant, or persistent. persistent ▶▶ Most dieters are not persistence enough to make a permanent ^ change in their eating habits. EXERCISE 18–2  Edit the following sentences to correct misused words. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: These days the training required for a ballet dancer all-absorbing. is all-absorbent. ^ a. We regret this delay; thank you for your patients. b. Ada’s plan is to require education and experience to prepare herself for a position as property manager. c. Peyton Manning, the penultimate competitor, has earned millions of dollars just in endorsements. d. Many people take for granite that public libraries have up-to-date computer systems. e. The affect of Gao Xinjian’s novels on Chinese exiles is hard to gauge.   1. Because Anne Tyler often writes about family loyalties, her illu- sions to King Lear are not surprising.   2. Designers of handheld devices understand that changes in ambience temperatures can damage the tiny circuit boards. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity >  18–5 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 173 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact 174 18d Exact words   3. The Keweenaw Peninsula is surrounded on three sides by Lake Superior.   4. At the cooking school in Tuscany, I learned that rosemary is a perfect compliment to lamb.   5. The person who complained to the human resources manager wishes to remain unanimous. 18d  Use standard idioms. Idioms are speech forms that follow no easily specified rules. The English say “Bernice went to hospital,” an idiom strange to American ears, which are accustomed to hearing the in front of hospital. Native speakers of a language seldom have problems with idioms, but prepositions (such as with, to, at, and of  ) sometimes cause trouble, especially when they follow certain verbs and adjectives. When in doubt, consult a dictionary. UNIDIOMATIC IDIOMATIC abide with (a decision) abide by (a decision) according with according to agree to (an idea) agree with (an idea) angry at (a person) angry with (a person) capable to capable of comply to comply with desirous to desirous of different than (a person different from (a person   or thing)   or thing) intend on doing intend to do off of off plan on doing plan to do preferable than preferable to prior than prior to similar than similar to superior than superior to sure and sure to think on think of, about try and try to type of a type of 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 174 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact common expressions • idioms • clichés 18e 175 MULTILINGUAL Because idioms follow no particular rules, you must learn them individually. You may fi nd it helpful to keep a list of idioms that you frequently encounter in conversation and in reading. ExERCISE 18–3 Edit the following sentences to eliminate errors in the use of idiomatic expressions. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” aft er it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: by We▶agreed▶to▶abide▶with▶the▶decision▶of▶the▶judge. ^ a. Queen Anne was so angry at Sarah Churchill that she refused to see her again. b. Jean-Pierre’s ambitious travel plans made it impossible for him to comply with the residency requirement for in-state tuition. c. Th e parade moved off of the street and onto the beach. d. Th e frightened refugees intend on making the dangerous trek across the mountains. e. What type of a wedding are you planning? 1. Be sure and report on the danger of releasing genetically engi- neered bacteria into the atmosphere. 2. Why do you assume that embezzling bank assets is so diff erent than robbing the bank? 3. Th e wilderness guide seemed capable to show us where the trail of petroglyphs was located. 4. In Evan’s cautious mind, packing his own parachute seemed pref- erable to letting an indiff erent teenager fold all that silk and cord into a small pack. 5. Andrea plans on joining the Peace Corps aft er graduation. 18e Do not rely heavily on clichés. Th e pioneer who fi rst announced that he had “slept like a log” no doubt amused his companions with a fresh and unlikely compar- ison. Today, however, that comparison is a cliché, a saying that has lost its dazzle from overuse. No longer can it surprise. PRACTICE hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Clarity > 18–6 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 175 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact 176 18e Exact words To see just how dully predictable clichés are, put your hand over the right-hand column in the following list and then finish the phrases on the left. cool as a cucumber beat around the bush blind as a bat busy as a bee, beaver crystal clear dead as a doornail out of the frying pan and into the fire light as a feather like a bull in a china shop playing with fire nutty as a fruitcake selling like hotcakes starting out at the bottom of the ladder water under the bridge white as a sheet, ghost avoid clichés like the plague The solution for clichés is simple: Just delete them or rewrite them. ▶▶ When I received a full scholarship from my second-choice felt squeezed to settle for second best. school, I found myself between a rock and a hard place. ^ Sometimes you can write around a cliché by adding an ele- ment of surprise. One student, for example, who had written that she had butterflies in her stomach, revised her cliché like this: If all of the action in my stomach is caused by butterflies, there must be a horde of them, with horseshoes on. The image of butterflies wearing horseshoes is fresh and unlikely, not predictable like the original cliché. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 176 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact clichés  •  worn-out expressions  •  figures of speech 18f 177 18f  Use figures of speech with care. A figure of speech is an expression that uses words imaginatively (rather than literally) to make abstract ideas concrete. Most often, figures of speech compare two seemingly unlike things to reveal surprising similarities. In a simile, the writer makes the comparison explicitly, usually by introducing it with like or as: By the time cotton had to be picked, Grandfather’s neck was as red as the clay he plowed. In a metaphor, the like or as is omitted, and the comparison is implied. For ex- ample, in the Old Testament Song of Solomon, a young woman compares the man she loves to a fruit tree: With great delight I sat in his shadow, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. Although figures of speech are useful devices, writers some- times use them without thinking through the images they evoke. The result is sometimes a mixed metaphor, the combination of two or more images that don’t make sense together. ▶▶ Our manager decided to put all controversial issues in a holding pattern on a back burner until after the annual meeting. Here the writer is mixing airplanes and stoves. Simply deleting one of the images corrects the problem. EXERCISE 18–4  Edit the following sentences to replace worn-out ex- pressions and clarify mixed figures of speech. Revisions of lettered sen- tences appear in the back of the book. Example: the color drained from his face. When he heard about the accident, he turned white as a sheet. ^ a. John stormed into the room like a bull in a china shop. b. Some people insist that they’ll always be there for you, even when they haven’t been before. c. The Cubs easily beat the Mets, who were in the soup early in the game today at Wrigley Field. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Clarity >  18–7 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 177 7/26/11 10:00 AM exact 178 18f Exact words d. We ironed out the sticky spots in our relationship. e. My mother accused me of beating around the bush when in fact I was just talking off the top of my head.   1. Priscilla was used to burning the candle at both ends to get her assignments done.   2. No matter how many books he reads, André can never seem to quench his thirst for knowledge.   3. In an era of cutbacks and outsourcing, the best tech-savvy workers discover that being a jack of all trades is a solid gold key to contin- ued success.   4. Too many cooks are spoiling the broth at corporate headquarters.   5. Juanita told Kyle that keeping skeletons in the closet would be playing with fire. 06_7813_Part3_111-178.indd 178 7/26/11 10:00 AM Grammar 19 Sentence fragments,  180 20 Run-on sentences,  188 21 Subject-verb agreement (is or are, etc.),  196 22 Pronoun-antecedent agreement,  207 23 Pronoun reference (clarity),  212 24 Pronoun case (I or me, etc.),  217 25 who and whom,  223 26 Adjectives and adverbs,  226 27 Standard English verb forms, tenses,  and moods,  232  07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 179 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag 180 19 Sentence fragments 19 Repair sentence fragments. A sentence fragment is a word group that pretends to be a sentence. Sentence fragments are easy to recognize when they appear out of context, like these: When the cat leaped onto the table. Running for the bus. And immediately popped their flares and life vests. When fragments appear next to related sentences, however, they are harder to spot. We had just sat down to dinner. When the cat leaped onto the table. I tripped and twisted my ankle. Running for the bus. The pilots ejected from the burning plane, landing in the water not far from the ship. And immediately popped their flares and life vests. Recognizing sentence fragments To be a sentence, a word group must consist of at least one full independent clause. An independent clause includes a subject and a verb, and it either stands alone or could stand alone. To test whether a word group is a complete sentence or a fragment, use the flowchart on page 181. By using the flow- chart, you can see exactly why When the cat leaped onto the table is a fragment: It has a subject (cat) and a verb (leaped ), but it begins with a subordinating word (When), which makes the word group a dependent clause. Running for the bus is a fragment because it lacks a subject and a verb (Running is a verbal, not a verb). And immediately popped their flares and life vests is a fragment because it lacks a subject. (See also 48b and 48e.) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 180 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag incomplete sentences  •  finding fragments  •  testing for fragments 19 181 Test for fragments It is a Is there a verb?* NO fragment. YES It is a Is there a subject?** NO fragment. YES Is the word group merely a subordinate clause (because It is a YES it begins with a word such as fragment. because or when)?*** NO It is a sentence. *Do not mistake verbals for verbs. A verbal is a verb form (such as walking, to act  ) that does not function as a verb of a clause. (See 48b.) **The subject of a sentence may be you, understood but not present in the sentence. (See 47a.) ***A sentence may open with a subordinate clause, but the sentence must also include an independent clause. (See 19a and 49a.) If you find any fragments, try one of these methods of revision (see 19a–19c): 1. Attach the fragment to a nearby sentence. 2. Rewrite the fragment as a complete sentence. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 181 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag 182 19a Sentence fragments MULTILINGUAL Unlike some other languages, English requires a subject and a verb in every sentence (except in commands, where the subject you is understood but not present: Sit down). See 30a and 30b. It is ▶▶ Is▶oft▶en▶hot▶and▶humid▶during▶the▶summer. ^ are ▶▶ Students▶usually▶very▶busy▶at▶the▶end▶of▶the▶semester. ^ Repairing sentence fragments You can repair most fragments in one of two ways: • Pull the fragment into a nearby sentence. • Rewrite the fragment as a complete sentence. when ▶▶ We▶had▶just▶sat▶down▶to▶dinner./ When▶the▶cat▶leaped▶onto ^ the▶table. Running for the bus, ▶▶ I▶tripped▶and▶twisted▶my▶ankle.▶Running▶for▶the▶bus. ^ ▶▶ Th▶ e▶pilots▶ejected▶from▶the▶burning▶plane,▶landing▶in▶the They water▶not▶far▶from▶the▶ship.▶And▶immediately▶popped▶their ^ fl▶ares▶and▶life▶vests. 19a  Attach fragmented subordinate clauses  or turn them into sentences. A subordinate clause is patterned like a sentence, with both a subject and a verb, but it begins with a word that marks it as subordinate. The following words commonly introduce subordinate clauses. after before so that until while although even though than when who as how that where whom as if if though whether whose because since unless which why 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 182 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag incomplete sentences  •  fixing fragments  •  clauses as fragments  •  phrases as fragments 19b 183 Subordinate clauses function within sentences as adjectives, as adverbs, or as nouns. They cannot stand alone. (See 48e.) Most fragmented clauses beg to be pulled into a sentence nearby. because ▶▶ Americans have come to fear the West Nile virus./ Because ^ it is transmitted by the common mosquito. Because introduces a subordinate clause, so it cannot stand alone. (For punctuation of subordinate clauses appearing at the end of a sentence, see 33f.) ▶▶ Although psychiatrist Peter Kramer expresses concerns   many about Prozac./, Many other doctors believe that the ^ benefits of antidepressants outweigh the risks. Although introduces a subordinate clause, so it cannot stand alone. (For punctuation of subordinate clauses at the beginning of a sentence, see 32b.) If a fragmented clause cannot be attached to a nearby sen- tence or if you feel that attaching it would be awkward, try turning the clause into a sentence. The simplest way to do this is to delete the opening word or words that mark it as subordinate. ▶▶ Population increases and uncontrolled development are Across taking a deadly toll on the environment. So that across the ^ globe, fragile ecosystems are collapsing. 19b  Attach fragmented phrases or turn them into sentences. Like subordinate clauses, phrases function within sentences as adjectives, as adverbs, or as nouns. They cannot stand alone. Fragmented phrases are often prepositional or verbal phrases; sometimes they are appositives, words or word groups that re- name nouns or pronouns. (See 48a, 48b, and 48c.) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 183 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag 184 19c Sentence fragments Often a fragmented phrase may simply be pulled into a nearby sentence. examining ▶▶ The archaeologists worked slowly/., Examining and labeling ^ every pottery shard they uncovered. The word group beginning with Examining is a verbal phrase. a ▶▶ The patient displayed symptoms of ALS/., A / neuro- ^ degenerative disease. A neurodegenerative disease is an appositive renaming the noun ALS. (For punctuation of appositives, see 32e.) If a fragmented phrase cannot be pulled into a nearby sen- tence effectively, turn the phrase into a sentence. You may need to add a subject, a verb, or both. ▶▶ In the training session, Jamie explained how to access our new She also taught us database. Also how to submit expense reports and request ^ vendor payments. The revision turns the fragmented phrase into a sentence by adding a subject and a verb. 19c  Attach other fragmented word groups or turn them into sentences. Other word groups that are commonly fragmented include parts of compound predicates, lists, and examples introduced by for example, in addition, or similar expressions. Parts of compound predicates A predicate consists of a verb and its objects, complements, and modifiers (see 47b). A compound predicate includes two or more predicates joined with a coordinating conjunction such as and, but, 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 184 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag incomplete sentences  •  implied vs. dictionary meaning  •  lists as fragments  •  fragments with for example, such as, etc. 19c 185 or or. Because the parts of a compound predicate have the same subject, they should appear in the same sentence. ▶▶ The woodpecker finch of the Galápagos Islands carefully and selects a twig of a certain size and shape/. And then uses this ^ tool to pry out grubs from trees. The subject is finch, and the compound predicate is selects . . . and . . . uses. (For punctuation of compound predicates, see 33a.) Lists To correct a fragmented list, often you can attach it to a nearby sentence with a colon or a dash. (See 35a and 39a.) ▶▶ It has been said that there are only three indigenous American musical art forms/. : Musical comedy, jazz, and soap opera. ^ Sometimes terms like especially, namely, like, and such as in- troduce fragmented lists. Such fragments can usually be attached to the preceding sentence. ▶▶ In the twentieth century, the South produced some great    such American writers/., Such as Flannery O’Connor, William ^ Faulkner, Alice Walker, and Tennessee Williams. Examples introduced by for example, in addition, or similar expressions Other expressions that introduce examples or explanations can lead to unintentional fragments. Although you may begin a sen- tence with some of the following words or phrases, make sure that what follows has a subject and a verb. also for example mainly and for instance or but in addition that is 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 185 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag 186 19d Sentence fragments Often the easiest solution is to turn the fragment into a sentence. ▶▶ In his memoir, Primo Levi describes the horrors of living he worked in a concentration camp. For example, working without suffered ^ food and suffering emotional abuse. ^ The writer corrected this fragment by adding a subject — he — and substituting verbs for the verbals working and suffering. ▶▶ Deborah Tannen’s research reveals that men and women have different ideas about communication. For example, Tannen explains that a woman “expects her husband to be a new and ^ improved version of her best friend” (441). A quotation must be part of a complete sentence. That a woman “expects her husband to be a new and improved version of her best friend” is a fragment — a subordinate clause. In this case, adding a signal phrase that includes a subject and a verb (Tannen explains) corrects the fragment and clarifies that the quotation is from Tannen. 19d  Exception: A fragment may be used for effect. Writers occasionally use sentence fragments for special purposes. FOR EMPHASIS Following the dramatic Americanization of their children, even my parents grew more publicly confident. Especially my mother.  — Richard Rodriguez TO ANSWER Are these new drug tests 100 percent A QUESTION reliable? Not in the opinion of most experts. TRANSITIONs And now the opposing arguments. EXCLAMATIONS Not again! IN ADVERTISING Fewer carbs. Improved taste. Although fragments are sometimes appropriate, writers and read- ers do not always agree on when they are appropriate. That’s why you will find it safer to write in complete sentences. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 186 7/26/11 10:00 AM frag incomplete sentences  •  fragments for emphasis or effect 19d 187 EXERCISE 19–1  Repair any fragment by attaching it to a nearby sen- tence or by rewriting it as a complete sentence. If a word group is cor- rect, write “correct” after it. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: a One Greek island that should not be missed is Mykonos/., A / ^ vacation spot for Europeans and a playground for the rich and famous. a. Listening to the CD her sister had sent, Mia was overcome with a mix of emotions. Happiness, homesickness, and nostalgia. b. Cortés and his soldiers were astonished when they looked down from the mountains and saw Tenochtitlán. The magnificent capital of the Aztecs. c. Although my spoken Spanish is not very good. I can read the language with ease. d. There are several reasons for not eating meat. One reason being that dangerous chemicals are used throughout the various stages of meat production. e. To learn how to sculpt beauty from everyday life. This is my intention in studying art and archaeology.   1. The panther lay motionless behind the rock. Waiting for its prey.   2. Aunt Mina loved to play all my favorite games. Cat’s cradle, Uno, mancala, and even hopscotch.   3. With machetes, the explorers cut their way through the tall grasses to the edge of the canyon. Then they began to lay out the tapes for the survey.   4. The owners of the online grocery store rented a warehouse in the Market district. An area catering to small businesses.   5. If a woman from the desert tribe showed anger toward her husband, she was whipped in front of the whole village. And shunned by the rest of the women. EXERCISE 19–2  Repair each fragment in the following passage by attaching it to a sentence nearby or by rewriting it as a complete sentence. Digital technology has revolutionized information delivery. Forever blurring the lines between information and entertainment. Yesterday’s readers of books and newspapers are today’s readers of e-books and news blogs. Countless readers have moved on from print information entirely. Choosing instead to point, click, PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  19–3 to 19–6 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 187 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on 188 20 Run-on sentences and scroll their way through a text on their Amazon Kindle or in an online forum. Once a nation of people spoon-fed television commercials and the six o’clock evening news. We are now seemingly addicted to YouTube. Remember the family trip when Dad or Mom wrestled with a road map? On the way to St. Louis or Seattle? No wrestling is required with a slick GPS navigator by the driver’s side. Unless it’s Mom and Dad wrestling over who gets to program the address. Accessing information now seems to be America’s favorite pastime. John Horrigan, associate director for research at the Pew Internet and American Life Project, reports that 31 percent of American adults are “elite” users of technology. Who are “highly engaged” with digital content. As a country, we embrace information and communication technologies. Which include iPods, cell phones, laptops, and handheld devices. Among children and adolescents, Internet and other personal technology use is on the rise. For activities like socializing, gaming, and information gathering. 20 Revise run-on sentences. Run-on sentences are independent clauses that have not been joined correctly. An independent clause is a word group that can stand alone as a sentence. (See 49a.) When two independent clauses appear in one sentence, they must be joined in one of these ways: • with a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet) • with a semicolon (or occasionally with a colon or a dash) Recognizing run-on sentences There are two types of run-on sentences. When a writer puts no mark of punctuation and no coordinating conjunction between independent clauses, the result is called a fused sentence. INDEPENDENT CLAUSE FUSED Air pollution poses risks to all humans it can be INDEPENDENT CLAUSE deadly for asthma sufferers. A far more common type of run-on sentence is the comma splice — two or more independent clauses joined with a comma but without a coordinating conjunction. In some comma splices, the comma appears alone. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 188 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on fused sentences  •  comma splices  •  complete ideas joined incorrectly  •  finding fused sentences and comma splices 20 189 COMMA Air pollution poses risks to all humans, it can be SPLICE deadly for asthma sufferers. In other comma splices, the comma is accompanied by a joining word that is not a coordinating conjunction. There are only seven co- ordinating conjunctions in English: and, but, or, nor, for, so, and yet. COMMA Air pollution poses risks to all humans, however, it can SPLICE be deadly for asthma sufferers. However is a transitional expression and cannot be used with only a comma to join two independent clauses (see 20b). Recognizing run-on sentences Does the sentence contain two independent No clauses (word groups NO problem that can stand alone as sentences)? YES Are the clauses joined with a comma and a No coordinating conjunction YES problem (and, but, or, nor, for, so, or yet)? NO Are the clauses joined No YES problem with a semicolon? NO Revise. It is a run-on sentence. If you find an error, choose an effective method of revision. See 20a–20d for revision strategies. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 189 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on 190 20 Run-on sentences Revising run-on sentences To revise a run-on sentence, you have four choices.   1. Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet). but ▶▶ Air pollution poses risks to all humans, it can be deadly for ^ asthma sufferers.   2. Use a semicolon (or, if appropriate, a colon or a dash). A semicolon may be used alone or with a transitional expression. ▶▶ Air pollution poses risks to all humans/, ; it can be deadly ^ for asthma sufferers. however, ▶▶ Air pollution poses risks to all humans/, ; it can be deadly for ^ asthma sufferers.   3. Make the clauses into separate sentences. It ▶▶ Air pollution poses risks to all humans/, . it can be deadly for ^ asthma sufferers.   4. Restructure the sentence, perhaps by subordinating one of the clauses. Although air ▶▶ Air pollution poses risks to all humans, it can be deadly for ^ asthma sufferers. One of these revision techniques usually works better than the others for a particular sentence. The fourth technique, the one requiring the most extensive revision, is often the most effective. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 190 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on fixing fused sentences, comma splices  •  using and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet  •  using semicolon, colon, dash 20b 191 20a  Consider separating the clauses with a comma and a coordinating conjunction. There are seven coordinating conjunctions in English: and, but, or, nor, for, so, and yet. When a coordinating conjunction joins independent clauses, it is usually preceded by a comma. (See 32a.) but ▶▶ Some lesson plans include exercises, completing them should ^ not be the focus of all class periods. 20b  Consider separating the clauses with a semicolon (or, if appropriate, with a colon   or a dash). When the independent clauses are closely related and their rela- tion is clear without a coordinating conjunction, a semicolon is an acceptable method of revision. (See 34a.) ▶▶ Tragedy depicts the individual confronted with the fact of death/,  ; comedy depicts the adaptability of human society. ^ A semicolon is required between independent clauses that have been linked with a transitional expression (such as however, therefore, moreover, in fact, or for example). For a longer list, see 34b. ▶▶ In his film adaptation of the short story “Killings,” director Todd Field changed key details of the plot/, ; in fact, he added ^ whole scenes that do not appear in the story. A colon or a dash may be more appropriate if the first in- dependent clause introduces the second or if the second clause summarizes or explains the first. (See 35b and 39a.) In formal writing, the colon is usually preferred to the dash. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 191 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on 192 20c Run-on sentences This ▶▶ Nuclear waste is hazardous: this is an indisputable fact. ^ ▶▶ The female black widow spider is often a widow of her own — making/, she has been known to eat her partner after mating. ^ A colon is an appropriate method of revision if the first inde- pendent clause introduces a quoted sentence. ▶▶ Nobel Peace Prize winner Al Gore had this to say about climate change/, : “The truth is that our circumstances are ^ not only new; they are completely different than they have ever been in all of human history.” 20c  Consider making the clauses into separate s­ entences. ▶▶ Why should we spend money on expensive space We exploration/,  ? we have enough underfunded programs here ^ on Earth. Since one independent clause is a question and the other is a statement, they should be separate sentences. ▶▶ Some studies have suggested that the sexual relationships of bonobos set them apart from common chimpanzees/, . According ^ according to Stanford (1998), these differences have been ^ exaggerated. Using a comma to join two independent clauses creates a comma splice. In this example, an effective revision is to separate the first independent clause (Some studies . . .) from the second independent clause (these differences . . .) and to keep the signal phrase with the second clause. (See also 63.) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 192 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on making separate sentences  •  fused sentences  •  comma splices  •  rewriting 20d 193 NOTE:  When two quoted independent clauses are divided by explanatory words, make each clause its own sentence. ▶▶ “It’s always smart to learn from your mistakes,” quipped my “It’s supervisor/, . “it’s even smarter to learn from the mistakes of ^ others.” 20d  Consider restructuring the sentence, perhaps by subordinating one of the clauses. If one of the independent clauses is less important than the other, turn it into a subordinate clause or phrase. (For more about sub- ordination, see 14, especially the chart on p. 144.) ▶▶ One of the most famous advertising slogans is Wheaties which cereal’s “Breakfast of Champions,” it was penned in 1933. ^ ▶▶ Mary McLeod Bethune, was the seventeenth child of former ^ slaves, she founded the National Council of Negro Women in 1935. Minor ideas in these sentences are now expressed in subordinate clauses or phrases. EXERCISE 20–1  Revise the following run-on sentences using the method of revision suggested in brackets. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Because Daniel had been obsessed with his weight as a teenager, he ^ rarely ate anything sweet. [Restructure the sentence.] a. The city had one public swimming pool, it stayed packed with children all summer long. [Restructure the sentence.] b. The building is being renovated, therefore at times we have no heat, water, or electricity. [Use a comma and a coordinating ­conjunction.] PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  20–4 to 20–7 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 193 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on 194 20d Run-on sentences c. The view was not what the travel agent had described, where were the rolling hills and the shimmering rivers? [Make two sentences.] d. All those gnarled equations looked like toxic insects, maybe I was going to have to rethink my major. [Use a semicolon.] e. City officials had good reason to fear a major earthquake, most of the business district was built on landfill. [Use a colon.]   1. The car was hardly worth trading, the frame was twisted and the block was warped. [Restructure the sentence.]   2. The next time an event is canceled because of bad weather, don’t blame the meteorologist, blame nature. [Make two sentences.]   3. Ray was fluent in American Sign Language he could sign as easily as he could speak. [Restructure the sentence.]   4. Susanna arrived with a stack of her latest hats she hoped the gift shop would place a big winter order. [Restructure the sentence.]   5. There was one major reason for John’s wealth, his grandfather had been a multimillionaire. [Use a colon.] EXERCISE 20–2  Revise any run-on sentences using a technique that you find effective. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Revi- sions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Crossing so many time zones on an eight-hour flight, I knew but I would be tired when I arrived, however, I was too excited ^ to sleep on the plane. a. Wind power for the home is a supplementary source of energy, it can be combined with electricity, gas, or solar energy. b. Aidan viewed Sofia Coppola’s Lost in Translation three times and then wrote a paper describing the film as the work of a mysterious modern painter. c. In the Middle Ages, the streets of London were dangerous places, it was safer to travel by boat along the Thames. d. “He’s not drunk,” I said, “he’s in a state of diabetic shock.” e. Are you able to endure extreme angle turns, high speeds, frequent jumps, and occasional crashes, then supermoto racing may be a sport for you. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 194 7/26/11 10:00 AM run-on making separate sentences  •  fused sentences  •  comma splices  •  rewriting 20d 195   1. Death Valley National Monument, located in southern California and Nevada, is one of the hottest places on Earth, temperatures there have soared as high as 134° Fahrenheit.   2. Anamaria opened the boxes crammed with toys, out sprang griffins, dragons, and phoenixes.   3. Subatomic physics is filled with strange and marvelous particles, tiny bodies of matter that shiver, wobble, pulse, and flatten to no thickness at all.   4. As his first major project, Frederick Law Olmsted designed New York City’s Central Park, one of the most beautiful urban spaces in the United States.   5. The neurosurgeon explained that the medication could have one side effect, it might cause me to experience temporary memory loss. EXERCISE 20–3  In the rough draft that follows, revise any run-on sentences. Some parents and educators argue that requiring uniforms in public schools would improve student behavior and perfor­ mance. They think that uniforms give students a more profes­ sional attitude toward school, moreover, they believe that uniforms help create a sense of community among students from diverse backgrounds. But parents and educators should consider the drawbacks to requiring uniforms in public schools. Uniforms do create a sense of community, they do this, however, by stamping out individuality. Youth is a time to express originality, it is a time to develop a sense of self. One important way young people express their identities is through the clothes they wear. The self-patrolled dress code of high school students may be stricter than any school-imposed code, nevertheless, trying to control dress habits from above will only lead to resentment or to mindless conformity. If children are going to act like adults, they need to be treated like adults, they need to be allowed to make their own choices. Telling young people what to wear to school merely prolongs their childhood. Requiring uniforms undermines the educational purpose of public schools, which is not just to teach facts and figures but to help young people grow into adults who are responsible for making their own choices. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 195 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr 196 21 Subject-verb agreement 21 Make subjects and verbs agree. In the present tense, verbs agree with their subjects in number (singular or plural) and in person (first, second, third): I sing, you sing, he sings, she sings, we sing, they sing. Even if your ear recognizes the standard subject-verb combinations presented in 21a, you will no doubt encounter tricky situations such as those described in 21b–21k. 21a  Consult this section for standard subject-verb  combinations. This section describes the basic guidelines for making present- tense verbs agree with their subjects. The present-tense ending -s (or -es) is used on a verb if its subject is third-person singular (he, she, it, and singular nouns); otherwise, the verb takes no ending. Consider, for example, the present-tense forms of the verbs love and try, given at the beginning of the chart on the following page. The verb be varies from this pattern; unlike any other verb, it has special forms in both the present and the past tense. These forms appear at the end of the chart. If you aren’t confident that you know the standard forms, use the charts on pages 198 and 199 as you proofread for subject-verb agreement. You may also want to look at 27c on -s endings of regular and irregular verbs. 21b  Make the verb agree with its subject, not with  a word that comes between. Word groups often come between the subject and the verb. Such word groups, usually modifying the subject, may contain a noun that at first appears to be the subject. By mentally stripping away such modifiers, you can isolate the noun that is in fact the subject. The samples on the tray in the lab need testing. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 196 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr choosing the right verb  •  words between subject and verb  •  subjects with and 21c 197 ▶▶ High levels of air pollution cause/s damage to the respiratory tract. The subject is levels, not pollution. Strip away the phrase of air pollution to hear the correct verb: levels cause. has ▶▶ The slaughter of pandas for their pelts have caused the ^ panda population to decline drastically. The subject is slaughter, not pandas or pelts. note:  Phrases beginning with the prepositions as well as, in ad- dition to, accompanied by, together with, and along with do not make a singular subject plural. was ▶▶ The governor as well as his press secretary were on the plane. ^ To emphasize that two people were on the plane, the writer could use and instead: The governor and his press secretary were on the plane. 21c  Treat most subjects joined with and as plural. A subject with two or more parts is said to be compound. If the parts are connected with and, the subject is almost always plural. Leon and Jan often jog together. ▶▶ The Supreme Court’s willingness to hear the case and its have affirmation of the original decision has set a new precedent. ^ EXCEPTIONS: When the parts of the subject form a single unit or when they refer to the same person or thing, treat the subject as singular. Fish and chips was a last-minute addition to the menu. Sue’s friend and adviser was surprised by her decision. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 197 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr 198 21c Subject-verb agreement Subject-verb agreement at a glance Present-tense forms of love and try (typical verbs) singular plural first person I love we love SECOND PERSON you love you love THIRD PERSON he/she/it* loves they** love singular plural first person I try we try SECOND PERSON you try you try THIRD PERSON he/she/it* tries they** try Present-tense forms of have singular plural first person I have we have SECOND PERSON you have you have THIRD PERSON he/she/it* has they** have Present-tense forms of do (including negative forms) singular plural FIRST PERSON I do/don’t we do/don’t SECOND PERSON you do/don’t you do/don’t THIRD PERSON he/she/it* does/doesn’t they** do/don’t Present-tense and past-tense forms of be singular plural FIRST PERSON I am/was we are/were SECOND PERSON you are/were you are/were THIRD PERSON he/she/it* is/was they** are/were *And singular nouns (child, Roger ) **And plural nouns (children, the Mannings) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 198 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr choosing the -s (-es) verb form 21c 199 When to use the -s (or -es  ) form of a present-tense verb Use the Is the verb’s subject he, -s form YES (loves, tries, she, it, or one? has, does) NO Is the subject a singular Use the noun (such as parent)? YES -s form. NO Is the subject a singular indefinite pronoun — anybody, anyone, each, Use the either, everybody, everyone, YES -s form. everything, neither, no one, someone, or something? NO Use the base form of the verb (such as love, try, have, do). exception:  Choosing the correct present-tense form of be (am, is, or are  ) is not quite so simple. See the chart on the previous page for both present- and past-tense forms of be. TIP: Do not use the -s form of a verb if it follows a modal verb such as can, must, or should or another helping verb. (See 28c.) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 199 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr 200 21d Subject-verb agreement When a compound subject is preceded by each or every, treat it as singular. Every car, truck, and van is required to pass inspection. This exception does not apply when a compound subject is fol- lowed by each: Alan and Marcia each have different ideas. 21d  With subjects joined with or or nor (or with either . . . or or neither . . . nor), make the verb agree with the part of the subject nearer to the verb. A driver’s license or credit card is required. A driver’s license or two credit cards are required. is ▶▶ If an infant or a child are having difficulty breathing, seek ^ medical attention immediately. ▶▶ Neither the chief financial officer nor the marketing were managers was able to convince the client to reconsider. ^ The verb must be matched with the part of the subject closer to it: child is in the first sentence, managers were in the second. NOTE:  If one part of the subject is singular and the other is plural, put the plural one last to avoid awkwardness. 21e  Treat most indefinite pronouns as singular. Indefinite pronouns are pronouns that do not refer to specific persons or things. The following commonly used indefinite pro- nouns are singular. anybody each everyone nobody somebody anyone either everything no one someone anything everybody neither nothing something 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 200 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr subjects with or, nor, either . . . •  pronouns like anyone  •  nouns like family, audience 21f 201 Many of these words appear to have plural meanings, and they are often treated as such in casual speech. In formal written En­ glish, however, they are nearly always treated as singular. Everyone on the team supports the coach. has ▶▶ Each of the essays have been graded. ^ was ▶▶ Nobody who participated in the clinical trials were given a ^ placebo. The subjects of these sentences are Each and Nobody. These in- definite pronouns are third-person singular, so the verbs must be has and was. A few indefinite pronouns (all, any, none, some) may be singular or plural depending on the noun or pronoun they refer to. SINGULAR Some of our luggage was lost. None of his advice makes sense. PLURAL Some of the rocks are slippery. None of the eggs were broken. NOTE:  When the meaning of none is emphatically “not one,” none may be treated as singular: None [meaning “Not one”] of the eggs was broken. Using not one instead is sometimes clearer: Not one of the eggs was broken. 21f  Treat collective nouns as singular unless the meaning is clearly plural. Collective nouns such as jury, committee, audience, crowd, troop, family, and couple name a class or a group. In American English, collective nouns are nearly always treated as singular: They empha- size the group as a unit. Occasionally, when there is some reason to 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 201 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr 202 21f Subject-verb agreement draw attention to the individual members of the group, a collective noun may be treated as plural. (See also 22b.) SINGULAR The class respects the teacher. PLURAL The class are debating among themselves. To underscore the notion of individuality in the second sentence, many writers would add a clearly plural noun. PLURAL The class members are debating among themselves. meets ▶▶ The board of trustees meet in Denver twice a year. ^ The board as a whole meets; there is no reason to draw attention to its individual members. were ▶▶ A young couple was arguing about politics while holding ^ hands. The meaning is clearly plural. Only separate individuals can argue and hold hands. NOTE:  The phrase the number is treated as singular, a number as plural. SINGULAR The number of school-age children is declining. PLURAL A number of children are attending the wedding. NOTE:  In general, when fractions or units of measurement are used with a singular noun, treat them as singular; when they are used with a plural noun, treat them as plural. SINGULAR Three-fourths of the salad has been eaten. Twenty inches of wallboard was covered with mud. PLURAL One-fourth of the drivers were texting. Two pounds of blueberries were used to make the pie. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 202 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr nouns like family, audience  •  subject following verb  •  agreement with subject, not other nouns 21h 203 21g  Make the verb agree with its subject even when the subject follows the verb. Verbs ordinarily follow subjects. When this normal order is re- versed, it is easy to become confused. Sentences beginning with there is or there are (or there was or there were) are inverted; the subject follows the verb. There are surprisingly few honeybees left in southern China. were ▶▶ There was a social worker and a neighbor at the meeting. ^ The subject, worker and neighbor, is plural, so the verb must be were. Occasionally you may decide to invert a sentence for variety or effect. When you do so, check to make sure that your subject and verb agree. are ▶▶ Of particular concern is penicillin and tetracycline, antibiotics ^ used to make animals more resistant to disease. The subject, penicillin and tetracycline, is plural, so the verb must be are. 21h  Make the verb agree with its subject, not with a subject complement. One basic sentence pattern in English consists of a subject, a link- ing verb, and a subject complement: Jack is a lawyer. Because the subject complement (lawyer) names or describes the subject (Jack), it is sometimes mistaken for the subject. (See 47b on subject complements.) These exercises are a way to test your ability to perform under pressure. is ▶▶ A major force in today’s economy are children — as consumers, ^ decision makers, and trend spotters. Force is the subject, not children. If the corrected version seems too awkward, make children the subject: Children are a major force in today’s economy — as consumers, decision makers, and trend spotters. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 203 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr 204 21i Subject-verb agreement are ▶▶ A tent and a sleeping bag is the required equipment for all ^ campers. Tent and bag is the subject, not equipment. 21i  Who, which, and that take verbs that agree with their antecedents. Like most pronouns, the relative pronouns who, which, and that have antecedents, nouns or pronouns to which they refer. Rela- tive pronouns used as subjects of subordinate clauses take verbs that agree with their antecedents. ANT PN V Take a course that prepares you for classroom management. One of the Constructions such as one of the students who [or one of the things that] cause problems for writers. Do not assume that the anteced- ent must be one. Instead, consider the logic of the sentence. ▶▶ Our ability to use language is one of the things that set/s us apart from animals. The antecedent of that is things, not one. Several things set us apart from animals. Only one of the When the phrase the only comes before one, you are safe in as- suming that one is the antecedent of the relative pronoun. ▶▶ Veronica was the only one of the first-year Spanish students was who were fluent enough to apply for the exchange program. ^ The antecedent of who is one, not students. Only one student was fluent enough. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 204 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr who, which, that  •  words like mathematics, politics  •  titles, company names, -ing phrases 21k 205 21j  Words such as athletics, economics, mathematics, physics, politics, statistics, measles, and news are usually singular, despite their plural form. is ▶▶ Politics are among my mother’s favorite pastimes. ^ EXCEPTION: Occasionally some of these words, especially eco- nomics, mathematics, politics, and statistics, have plural meanings. ▶▶ Office politics often sway decisions about hiring and promotion. ▶▶ The economics of the building plan are prohibitive. 21k  Titles of works, company names, words mentioned as words, and gerund phrases are singular. describes ▶▶ Lost Cities describe the discoveries of fifty ancient civilizations. ^ specializes ▶▶ Delmonico Brothers specialize in organic produce and ^ additive-free meats. is ▶▶ Controlled substances are a euphemism for illegal drugs. ^ A gerund phrase consists of an -ing verb form followed by any objects, complements, or modifiers (see 48b). Treat gerund phrases as singular. makes ▶▶ Encountering long hold times make customers impatient with ^ telephone tech support. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 205 7/26/11 10:00 AM sv agr 206 21k Subject-verb agreement EXERCISE  21–1  For each sentence in the following passage, underline the subject (or compound subject) and then select the verb that agrees with it. (If you have trouble identifying the subject, consult 47a.) Loggerhead sea turtles (migrate / migrates) thousands of miles before returning to their nesting location every two to three years. The nesting season for loggerhead turtles (span / spans) the hottest months of the summer. Although the habitat of Atlantic loggerheads (range / ranges) from Newfoundland to Argentina, nesting for these turtles (take / takes) place primarily along the southeastern coast of the United States. Female turtles that have reached sexual maturity (crawl / crawls) ashore at night to lay their eggs. The cavity that serves as a nest for the eggs (is / are) dug out with the female’s strong flippers. Deposited into each nest (is / are) anywhere from fifty to two hundred spherical eggs, also known as a clutch. After a two-month incubation period, all eggs in the clutch (begin / begins) to hatch, and within a few days the young turtles attempt to make their way into the ocean. A major cause of the loggerhead’s decreasing numbers (is / are) natural predators such as raccoons, birds, and crabs. Beach erosion and coastal development also (threaten / threatens) the turtles’ survival. For example, a crowd of curious humans or lights from beachfront residences (is / are) enough to make the female abandon her nesting plans and return to the ocean. Since only one in one thousand loggerheads survives to adulthood, special care should be taken to protect this threatened species. EXERCISE 21–2  Edit the following sentences to eliminate problems with subject-verb agreement. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: were Jack’s first days in the infantry was grueling. ^ a. One of the main reasons for elephant poaching are the profits received from selling the ivory tusks. b. Not until my interview with Dr. Hwang were other possibilities opened to me. c. A number of students in the seminar was aware of the importance of joining the discussion. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  21–3 to 21–5 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 206 7/26/11 10:00 AM pn agr pronouns and words they refer to • singular vs. plural 22a 207 d. Batik cloth from Bali, blue and white ceramics from Delft, and a bocce ball from Turin has made Angelie’s room the talk of the dorm. e. The board of directors, ignoring the wishes of the neighborhood, has voted to allow further development. 1. Measles is a contagious childhood disease. 2. Adorning a shelf in the lab is a Vietnamese figurine, a set of Korean clay gods, and an American plastic village. 3. The presence of certain bacteria in our bodies is one of the factors that determines our overall health. 4. Sheila is the only one of the many applicants who has the ability to step into this job. 5. Neither the explorer nor his companions was ever seen again. 22 Make pronouns and antecedents  agree. A pronoun is a word that substitutes for a noun. (See 46b.) Many pronouns have antecedents, nouns or pronouns to which they refer. A pronoun and its antecedent agree when they are both sin- gular or both plural. SINGULAR Dr. Ava Berto finished her rounds. PLURAL The hospital interns finished their rounds. MULTILINGUAL The pronouns he, his, she, her, it, and its must agree in gender (masculine, feminine, or neuter) with their anteced- ents, not with the words they modify. Steve visited his [not her] sister in Seattle. 22a  Do not use plural pronouns to refer to  singular antecedents. Writers are frequently tempted to use plural pronouns to refer to two kinds of singular antecedents: indefinite pronouns and generic nouns. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 207 7/26/11 10:00 AM pn agr 208 22a Pronoun-antecedent agreement Indefinite pronouns Indefinite pronouns refer to nonspecific persons or things. Even though some of the following indefinite pronouns may seem to have plural meanings, treat them as singular in formal English. anybody each everyone nobody somebody anyone either everything no one someone anything everybody neither nothing something Everyone performs at his or her [not their] own fitness level. When a plural pronoun refers mistakenly to a singular in- definite pronoun, you can usually choose one of three options for revision:   1. Replace the plural pronoun with he or she (or his or her).   2. Make the antecedent plural.   3. Rewrite the sentence so that no problem of agreement exists. ▶▶ When someone travels outside the United States for the he or she needs first time, they need to apply for a passport. ^ people travel ▶▶ When someone travels outside the United States for the ^ first time, they need to apply for a passport. Anyone who ▶▶ When someone travels outside the United States for the ^ needs first time/,  they need to apply for a passport. ^ Because the he or she construction is wordy, often the second or third revision strategy is more effective. Using he (or his) to refer to persons of either sex, while less wordy, is considered sexist, as is using she (or her) for all persons. Some writers alternate male and female pronouns throughout a text, but the result is often awkward. See 17e and the chart on page 210 for strategies that avoid sexist usage. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 208 7/26/11 10:00 AM pn agr anyone, each, no one  •  singular vs. plural  •  generic nouns  •  nouns like family, audience 22b 209 NOTE:  If you change a pronoun from singular to plural (or vice versa), check to be sure that the verb agrees with the new pro- noun (see 21e). Generic nouns A generic noun represents a typical member of a group, such as a typ- ical student, or any member of a group, such as any lawyer. Although generic nouns may seem to have plural meanings, they are singular. Every runner must train rigorously if he or she wants [not they want] to excel. When a plural pronoun refers mistakenly to a generic noun, you will usually have the same three revision options as men- tioned on page 208 for indefinite pronouns. he or she wants ▶▶ A medical student must study hard if they want to succeed. ^ Medical students ▶▶ A medical student must study hard if they want to succeed. ^ ▶▶ A medical student must study hard if they want to succeed. 22b  Treat collective nouns as singular unless the meaning is clearly plural. Collective nouns such as jury, committee, audience, crowd, class, troop, family, team, and couple name a group. Ordinarily the group functions as a unit, so the noun should be treated as singular; if the members of the group function as individuals, however, the noun should be treated as plural. (See also 21f.) AS A UNIT The committee granted its permission to build. AS INDIVIDUALS The committee put their signatures on the document. When treating a collective noun as plural, many writers pre- fer to add a clearly plural antecedent such as members to the 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 209 7/26/11 10:00 AM pn agr 210 22b Pronoun-antecedent agreement Choosing a revision strategy that avoids sexist language Because many readers object to sexist language, avoid using he, him, and his (or she, her, and hers) to refer to both men and women. Also try to avoid the wordy expressions he or she and his or her. More graceful alternatives are usually possible. Use an occasional he or she (or his or her  ). his or her ▶▶ In our office, everyone works at their own pace. ^ Make the antecedent plural. Employees ▶▶ An employee on extended disability leave may continue their ^ life insurance. Recast the sentence. ▶▶ The amount of vacation time a federal worker may accrue depends on their length of service. A has ▶▶ If a child is born to parents who are both bipolar/, they have a high ^ ^ chance of being bipolar. ▶▶ In his autobiography, Benjamin Franklin suggests that anyone can by living working achieve success as long as they live a virtuous life and work hard. ^ ^ sentence: The members of the committee put their signatures on the document. ▶▶ Defense attorney Clarence Darrow surprisingly urged the jury to find his client, John Scopes, guilty so that he could appeal the case to a higher court. The jury complied, its returning their verdict in only nine minutes. ^ There is no reason to draw attention to the individual members of the jury, so jury should be treated as singular. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 210 7/26/11 10:00 AM pn agr avoiding sexist language  •  singular vs. plural  •  words with and 22d 211 22c  Treat most compound antecedents joined with and as plural. In 1987, Reagan and Gorbachev held a summit where they signed the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty. 22d  With compound antecedents joined with or or nor (or with either . . . or or neither . . . nor), make the pronoun agree with the nearer antecedent. Either Bruce or Tom should receive first prize for his poem. Neither the mouse nor the rats could find their way through the maze. NOTE:  If one of the antecedents is singular and the other plu- ral, as in the second example, put the plural one last to avoid awkwardness. EXCEPTION:  If one antecedent is male and the other female, do not follow the traditional rule. The sentence Either Bruce or Elizabeth should receive first prize for her short story makes no sense. The best solution is to recast the sentence: The prize for best short story should go to either Bruce or Elizabeth. EXERCISE 22–1  Edit the following sentences to eliminate problems with pronoun-antecedent agreement. Most of the sentences can be re- vised in more than one way, so experiment before choosing a solution. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Revisions of lettered sen- tences appear in the back of the book. Example: Recruiters The recruiter may tell the truth, but there is much that they ^ choose not to tell. a. Every presidential candidate must appeal to a wide variety of ethnic and social groups if they want to win the election. b. David lent his motorcycle to someone who allowed their friend to use it. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  22–3 to 22–5 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 211 7/26/11 10:00 AM ref 212 23 Pronoun reference c. The aerobics teacher motioned for everyone to move their arms in wide, slow circles. d. The parade committee was unanimous in its decision to allow all groups and organizations to join the festivities. e. The applicant should be bilingual if they want to qualify for this position. 1. If a driver refuses to take a blood or breath test, he or she will have their licenses suspended for six months. 2. Why should anyone learn a second language? One reason is to sharpen their minds. 3. The Department of Education issued guidelines for school security. They were trying to anticipate problems and avert disaster. 4. The logger in the Northwest relies on the old forest growth for their living. 5. If anyone notices any suspicious activity, they should report it to the police. EXERCISE 22–2 Edit the following paragraph to eliminate problems with pronoun-antecedent agreement or sexist language. A common practice in businesses is to put each employee in their own cubicle. A typical cubicle resembles an office, but their walls don’t reach the ceiling. Many office managers feel that a cubicle floor plan has its advantages. Cubicles make a large area feel spacious. In addition, they can be moved around so that each new employee can be accommodated in his own work area. Of course, the cubicle model also has problems. The typical employee is not as happy with a cubicle as they would be with a traditional office. Also, productivity can suffer. Neither a manager nor a frontline worker can ordinarily do their best work in a cubicle because of noise and lack of privacy. Each worker can hear his neighbors tapping on computer keyboards, making telephone calls, and muttering under their breath. 23 Make pronoun references clear. Pronouns substitute for nouns; they are a kind of shorthand. In a sentence like After Andrew intercepted the ball, he kicked it as hard as he could, the pronouns he and it substitute for the nouns Andrew and ball. The word a pronoun refers to is called its antecedent. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 212 7/26/11 10:00 AM ref identifying what the pronoun refers to  •  this, that, which, it 23b 213 23a  Avoid ambiguous or remote pronoun reference. Ambiguous pronoun reference occurs when a pronoun could refer to two possible antecedents. The pitcher broke when Gloria set it ▶▶ When Gloria set the pitcher on the glass-topped table/,. ^ ^ it broke. “You have ▶▶ Tom told James, that he had won the lottery.” ^ ^ What broke — the pitcher or the table? Who won the lottery — Tom or James? The revisions eliminate the ambiguity. Remote pronoun reference occurs when a pronoun is too far away from its antecedent for easy reading. ▶▶ After the court ordered my ex-husband to pay child support, he refused. Approximately eight months later, we were back in court. This time the judge ordered him to make payments directly to the Support and Collections Unit, which would in turn pay me. For the first six months, I received regular pay- my ex-husband ments, but then they stopped. Again he was summoned to ^ appear in court; he did not respond. The pronoun he was too distant from its antecedent, ex-husband, which appeared several sentences earlier. 23b  Generally, avoid broad reference of this, that, which, and it. For clarity, the pronouns this, that, which, and it should ordi- narily refer to specific antecedents rather than to whole ideas or sentences. When a pronoun’s reference is needlessly broad, ei- ther replace the pronoun with a noun or supply an antecedent to which the pronoun clearly refers. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 213 7/26/11 10:00 AM ref 214 23c Pronoun reference ▶▶ By advertising on television, pharmaceutical companies gain exposure for their prescription drugs. Patients respond to the ads this by requesting drugs they might not need. ^For clarity, the writer substituted the noun ads for the pronoun this, which referred broadly to the idea expressed in the preceding sentence. ▶▶ Romeo and Juliet were both too young to have acquired a fact much wisdom, and that accounts for their rash actions. ^ The writer added an antecedent (  fact) that the pronoun that clearly refers to. 23c  Do not use a pronoun to refer to an implied ­ antecedent. A pronoun should refer to a specific antecedent, not to a word that is implied but not present in the sentence. the braids ▶▶ After braiding Ann’s hair, Sue decorated them with ribbons. ^ The pronoun them referred to Ann’s braids (implied by the term braiding), but the word braids did not appear in the sentence. Modifiers, such as possessives, cannot serve as antecedents. A modifier may strongly imply the noun that a pronoun might logically refer to, but it is not itself that noun. Jamaica Kincaid ▶▶ In Jamaica Kincaid’s “Girl,” she describes the advice a ^ mother gives her daughter, including the mysterious warning not to be “the kind of woman who the baker won’t let near the bread” (454). Using the possessive form of an author’s name to introduce a source leads to a problem later in this sentence: The pronoun she cannot refer logically to a possessive modifier (Jamaica Kincaid’s). The revision substitutes the noun Jamaica Kincaid for the pronoun she, thereby eliminating the problem. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 214 7/26/11 10:00 AM ref unclear, unstated antecedent  •  they, it, you  •  who vs. which or that 23e 215 23d  Avoid the indefinite use of they, it, and you. Do not use the pronoun they to refer indefinitely to persons who have not been specifically mentioned. They should always refer to a specific antecedent. the board ▶▶ In June, they announced that parents would have to pay a fee ^ for their children to participate in sports and music programs starting in September. The word it should not be used indefinitely in constructions such as It is said on television . . . or In the article, it says that. . . . The ▶▶ In the encyclopedia it states that male moths can smell ^ female moths from several miles away. The pronoun you is appropriate only when the writer is ad- dressing the reader directly: Once you have kneaded the dough, let it rise in a warm place. Except in informal contexts, however, you should not be used to mean “anyone in general.” Use a noun instead. a guest ▶▶ Ms. Pickersgill’s Guide to Etiquette stipulates that you should ^ not arrive at a party too early or leave too late. 23e  To refer to persons, use who, whom, or whose, not which or that. In most contexts, use who, whom, or whose to refer to persons, which or that to refer to animals or things. Which is reserved only for animals or things, so it is impolite to use it to refer to persons. whom ▶▶ All thirty-two women in the study, half of which were ^ unemployed for more than six months, reported higher self-esteem after job training. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 215 7/26/11 10:00 AM ref 216 23e Pronoun reference Although that is sometimes used to refer to persons, many readers will find such references dehumanizing. It is more polite to use a form of who — a word reserved only for people. ▶▶ During the two-day festival El Día de los Muertos (Day of the who Dead), Mexican families celebrate loved ones that have died. ^ EXERCISE 23–1  Edit the following sentences to correct errors in pro- noun reference. In some cases, you will need to decide on an antecedent that the pronoun might logically refer to. Revisions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Although Apple makes the most widely recognized MP3 player, other companies have gained a share of the market. The competition This has kept prices from skyrocketing. ^ a. They say that engineering students should have hands-on experience with dismantling and reassembling machines. b. She had decorated her living room with posters from chamber music festivals. This led her date to believe that she was interested in classical music. Actually she preferred rock. c. In my high school, you didn’t need to get all A’s to be considered a success; you just needed to work to your ability. d. Marianne told Jenny that she was worried about her mother’s illness. e. Though Lewis cried for several minutes after scraping his knee, eventually it subsided.   1. Our German conversation group is made up of six people, three of which I had never met before.   2. Many people believe that the polygraph test is highly reliable if you employ a licensed examiner.   3. Parent involvement is high at Mission San Jose High School. They participate in many committees and activities that affect all aspects of school life.   4. Because of Paul Robeson’s outspoken attitude toward fascism, he was labeled a Communist.   5. In the report, it points out that the bald eagle, after several decades of protection, was removed from the endangered species list in 1997. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  23–3 to 23–5 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 216 7/26/11 10:00 AM case I vs. me, he vs. him, they vs. them, etc. 24 217 EXERCISE 23–2 Edit the following passage to correct errors in pro- noun reference. In some cases, you will need to decide on an antecedent that the pronoun might logically refer to. Since the Internet’s inception in the 1980s, it has grown to be one of the largest communications forums in the world. The Internet was created by a team of academics who were building on a platform that government scientists had started developing in the 1950s. They initially viewed it as a noncommercial enterprise that would serve only the needs of the academic and technical communities. But with the introduction of user-friendly browser technology in the 1990s, it expanded tremendously. By the late 1990s, many businesses were connecting to the Internet with high-speed broadband and fiber-optic connections, which is also true of many home users today. Accessing information, shopping, and communicating are easier than ever before. This, however, can lead to some possible drawbacks. You can be bombarded with spam and pop-up ads or attacked by harmful viruses and worms. They say that the best way to protect home computers from harm is to keep antivirus protection programs up-to-date and to shut them down when not in use. 24 Distinguish between pronouns  such as I and me. The personal pronouns in the following chart change what is known as case form according to their grammatical function in a sentence. Pronouns functioning as subjects or subject comple- ments appear in the subjective case; those functioning as objects appear in the objective case; and those showing ownership appear in the possessive case. SUBJECTIVE OBJECTIVE POSSESSIVE CASE CASE CASE SINGULAR I me my you you your he/she/it him/her/it his/her/its PLURAL we us our you you your they them their 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 217 7/26/11 10:00 AM case 218 24a Pronoun case (such as I vs. me) Pronouns in the subjective and objective cases are frequently confused. Most of the rules in this section specify when to use one or the other of these cases (I or me, he or him, and so on). Section 24g explains a special use of pronouns and nouns in the possessive case. 24a  Use the subjective case (I, you, he, she, it, we, they) for subjects and subject complements. When personal pronouns are used as subjects, ordinarily your ear will tell you the correct pronoun. Problems sometimes arise, however, with compound word groups containing a pronoun, so it is not always safe to trust your ear. he ▶▶ Joel ran away from home because his stepfather and him had ^ quarreled. His stepfather and he is the subject of the verb had quarreled. If we strip away the words his stepfather and, the correct pronoun becomes clear: he had quarreled (not him had quarreled). When a pronoun is used as a subject complement (a word following a linking verb), your ear may mislead you, since the incorrect form is frequently heard in casual speech. (See “subject complement,” 47b.) ▶▶ During the Lindbergh trial, Bruno Hauptmann repeatedly he. denied that the kidnapper was him. ^ If kidnapper was he seems too stilted, rewrite the sentence: During the Lindbergh trial, Bruno Hauptmann repeatedly denied that he was the kidnapper. 24b  Use the objective case (me, you, him, her, it, us, them) for all objects. When a personal pronoun is used as a direct object, an indirect object, or the object of a preposition, ordinarily your ear will lead you to the correct pronoun. When an object is compound, how- ever, you may occasionally become confused. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 218 7/26/11 10:00 AM case I, you, he/she/it, we, they (subject)  •  me, you, him/her/it, us, them (object)  •  appositives 24c 219 ▶▶ Janice was indignant when she realized that the salesclerk her. was insulting her mother and she. ^ Her mother and her is the direct object of the verb was insulting. Strip away the words her mother and to hear the correct pronoun: was insulting her (not was insulting she). me ▶▶ The most traumatic experience for her father and I occurred ^ long after her operation. Her father and me is the object of the preposition for. Strip away the words her father and to test for the correct pronoun: for me (not for I). When in doubt about the correct pronoun, some writers try to avoid making the choice by using a reflexive pronoun such as myself. Using a reflexive pronoun in such situations is nonstandard. me ▶▶ The Indian cab driver gave my cousin and myself some good ^ tips on traveling in New Delhi. My cousin and me is the indirect object of the verb gave. For correct uses of myself, see the glossary of usage. 24c  Put an appositive and the word to which it refers in the same case. Appositives are noun phrases that rename nouns or pronouns. A pronoun used as an appositive has the same function (usually subject or object) as the word(s) it renames. I, ▶▶ The chief strategists, Dr. Bell and me, could not agree on a plan. ^ The appositive Dr. Bell and I renames the subject, strategists. Test: I could not agree (not me could not agree). ▶▶ The reporter interviewed only two witnesses, the bicyclist me. and I. ^ The appositive the bicyclist and me renames the direct object, witnesses. Test: interviewed me (not interviewed I). 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 219 7/26/11 10:00 AM case 220 24d Pronoun case (such as I vs. me) 24d  Following than or as, choose the pronoun that expresses your meaning. When a comparison begins with than or as, your choice of a pro- noun will depend on your meaning. To test for the correct pro- noun, mentally complete the sentence: My roommate likes football more than I [do]. ▶▶ In our position paper supporting nationalized health care in the United States, we argued that Canadians are much we. better off than us. ^ We is the subject of the verb are, which is understood: Canadians are much better off than we [are]. If the correct English seems too formal, you can always add the verb. ▶▶ We respected no other candidate for the city council as much her. as she. ^ This sentence means that we respected no other candidate as much as we respected her. Her is the direct object of the understood verb respected. 24e  For we or us before a noun, choose the pronoun that would be appropriate if the noun were omitted. We ▶▶ Us tenants would rather fight than move. ^ us ▶▶ Management is shortchanging we tenants. ^ No one would say Us would rather fight than move or Management is shortchanging we. 24f  Use the objective case for subjects and objects of infinitives. An infinitive is the word to followed by the base form of a verb. (See 48b.) Subjects of infinitives are an exception to the rule that subjects must be in the subjective case. Whenever an infinitive has 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 220 7/26/11 10:00 AM case pronouns following than or as  •  we vs. us •  object pronouns with infinitives (to see)  •  pronouns with -ing noun form 24g 221 a subject, it must be in the objective case. Objects of infinitives also are in the objective case. me her ▶▶ Sue asked John and I to drive the senator and she to the airport. ^ ^ John and me is the subject of the infinitive to drive; senator and her is the direct object of the infinitive. 24g  Use the possessive case to modify a gerund. A pronoun that modifies a gerund or a gerund phrase should be in the possessive case (my, our, your, his, her, its, their). A gerund is a verb form ending in -ing that functions as a noun. Gerunds frequently appear in phrases; when they do, the whole gerund phrase functions as a noun. (See 48b.) your ▶▶ The chances of you being hit by lightning are about two million ^ to one. Your modifies the gerund phrase being hit by lightning. Nouns as well as pronouns may modify gerunds. To form the possessive case of a noun, use an apostrophe and an -s (victim’s) or just an apostrophe (victims’). (See 36a.) aristocracy’s ▶▶ The old order in France paid a high price for the aristocracy ^ exploiting the lower classes. The possessive noun aristocracy’s modifies the gerund phrase exploiting the lower classes. EXERCISE 24–1  Edit the following sentences to eliminate errors in pronoun case. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: he. Papa chops wood for neighbors much younger than him. ^ a. Rick applied for the job even though he heard that other candidates were more experienced than he. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  24–3 and 24–4 >  25–3 and 25–4 (pronoun review) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 221 7/26/11 10:00 AM case 222 24g Pronoun case (such as I vs. me) b. The volleyball team could not believe that the coach was she. c. She appreciated him telling the truth in such a difficult situation. d. The director has asked you and I to draft a proposal for a new recycling plan. e. Five close friends and myself rented a station wagon, packed it with food, and drove two hundred miles to Mardi Gras.   1. The squawk of the brass horns nearly overwhelmed us oboe and bassoon players.   2. Ushio, the last rock climber up the wall, tossed Teri and she the remaining pitons and carabiners.   3. The programmer realized that her and the interface designers were creating an entirely new Web application.   4. My desire to understand classical music was aided by me working as an usher at Symphony Hall.   5. The shower of sinking bricks caused he and his diving partner to race away from the collapsing seawall. EXERCISE 24–2  In the following paragraph, choose the correct pro- noun in each set of parentheses. We may blame television for the number of products based on characters in children’s TV shows — from Big Bird to SpongeBob — but in fact merchandising that capitalizes on a character’s popularity started long before television. Raggedy Ann began as a child’s rag doll, and a few years later books about (she / her) and her brother, Raggedy Andy, were published. A cartoonist named Johnny Gruelle painted a cloth face on a family doll and applied for a patent in 1915. Later Gruelle began writing and illustrating stories about Raggedy Ann, and in 1918 (he / him) and a publisher teamed up to publish the books and sell the dolls. He was not the only one to try to sell products linked to children’s stories. Beatrix Potter published the first of many Peter Rabbit picture books in 1902, and no one was better than (she / her) at making a living from spin-offs. After Peter Rabbit and Benjamin Bunny became popular, Potter began putting pictures of (they / them) and their little animal friends on merchandise. Potter had fans all over the world, and she understood (them / their) wanting to see Peter Rabbit not only in books but also on teapots and plates and lamps and other furnishings for the nursery. Potter and Gruelle, like countless others before and since, knew that entertaining children could be a profitable business. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 222 7/26/11 10:00 AM case who vs. whom • in clauses 25a 223 25 Distinguish between who and  whom. The choice between who and whom (or whoever and whomever) occurs primarily in subordinate clauses and in questions. Who and whoever, subjective-case pronouns, are used for subjects and subject complements. Whom and whomever, objective-case pro- nouns, are used for objects. (See 25a and 25b.) An exception to this general rule occurs when the pronoun functions as the subject of an infinitive (see 25c). See also 24f. 25a  In subordinate clauses, use who and whoever  for subjects and subject complements, whom and  whomever for all objects. When who and whom (or whoever and whomever) introduce subordinate clauses, their case is determined by their function within the clause they introduce. In the following two examples, the pronouns who and who- ever function as the subjects of the clauses they introduce. who ▶▶ First▶prize▶goes▶to▶the▶runner▶whom▶earns▶the▶most▶points. ^ The subordinate clause is who earns the most points. The verb of the clause is earns, and its subject is who. ▶▶ Maya▶Angelou’s▶I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings▶should▶be whoever read▶by▶whomever▶is▶interested▶in▶the▶eff▶ects▶of▶racial▶prejudice ^ on▶children. The writer selected the pronoun whomever, thinking that it was the object of the preposition by. However, the object of the preposition is the entire subordinate clause whoever is interested in the effects of racial prejudice on children. The verb of the clause is is, and the subject of the verb is whoever. When functioning as an object in a subordinate clause, whom (or whomever) also appears out of order, before the subject and 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 223 7/26/11 10:00 AM case 224 25b who vs. whom verb. To choose the correct pronoun, you can mentally restructure the clause. whom ▶▶ You will work with our senior traders, who you will meet later. ^ The subordinate clause is whom you will meet later. The subject of the clause is you, and the verb is will meet. Whom is the direct object of the verb. The correct choice becomes clear if you mentally restructure the clause: you will meet whom. When functioning as the object of a preposition in a subor- dinate clause, whom is often separated from its preposition. whom ▶▶ The tutor who I was assigned to was very supportive. ^ Whom is the object of the preposition to. In this sentence, the writer might choose to drop whom: The tutor I was assigned to was very supportive. NOTE:  Inserted expressions such as they know, I think, and she says should be ignored in determining whether to use who or whom. ▶▶ The speech pathologist reported a particularly difficult who session with a stroke patient whom she knew was suffering ^ from aphasia. Who is the subject of was suffering, not the object of knew. 25b  In questions, use who and whoever for subjects, whom and whomever for all objects. When who and whom (or whoever and whomever) are used to open questions, their case is determined by their function within the question. In the following example, who functions as the sub- ject of the question. Who ▶▶ Whom was responsible for creating that computer virus? ^Who is the subject of the verb was. When whom functions as the object of a verb or the object of a preposition in a question, it appears out of normal order. To choose the correct pronoun, you can mentally restructure the question. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 224 7/26/11 10:00 AM case in questions  •  infinitive (to see) 25c 225 Whom ▶▶ Who did the Democratic Party nominate in 2008? ^Whom is the direct object of the verb did nominate. This becomes clear if you restructure the question: The Democratic Party did nominate whom in 2008? 25c  Use whom for subjects or objects of infinitives. An infinitive is the word to followed by the base form of a verb. (See 48b.) Subjects of infinitives are an exception to the rule that subjects must be in the subjective case. The subject of an infini- tive must be in the objective case. Objects of infinitives also are in the objective case. whom ▶▶ When it comes to money, I know who to believe. ^ The infinitive phrase whom to believe is the direct object of the verb know, and whom is the subject of the infinitive to believe. NOTE:  In spoken English, who is frequently used when the correct whom sounds too stuffy. Even educated speakers are likely to say Who [not Whom] did Senator Boxer replace? Although some readers will accept such constructions in informal written English, it is safer to use whom in formal English. EXERCISE 25–1  Edit the following sentences to eliminate errors in the use of who and whom (or whoever and whomever). If a sentence is cor- rect, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: whom What is the address of the artist who Antonio hired? ^ a. The roundtable featured scholars who I had never heard of. b. Arriving late for rehearsal, we had no idea who was supposed to dance with whom. c. Whom did you support for student government president? d. Daniel always gives a holiday donation to whomever needs it. e. So many singers came to the audition that Natalia had trouble deciding who to select for the choir. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  25–2 >  25–3 and 25–4 (pronoun review) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 225 7/26/11 10:00 AM adj/adv 226 26 Adjectives and adverbs 1. My cousin Sylvie, who I am teaching to fly a kite, watches us every time we compete. 2. Who decided to research the history of Hungarians in New Brunswick? 3. According to Greek myth, the Sphinx devoured those who could not answer her riddles. 4. The people who ordered their medications from Canada were retirees whom don’t have health insurance. 5. Who did the committee select? 26 Choose adjectives and adverbs  with care. Adjectives modify nouns or pronouns. They usually come before the word they modify; occasionally they function as complements following the word they modify. Adverbs modify verbs, adjectives, or other adverbs. (See 46d and 46e.) Many adverbs are formed by adding -ly to adjectives (normal, normally; smooth, smoothly). But don’t assume that all words ending in -ly are adverbs or that all adverbs end in -ly. Some adjectives end in -ly (lovely, friendly), and some adverbs don’t (always, here, there). When in doubt, consult a dictionary. MULTILINGUAL Placement of adjectives and adverbs can be a tricky matter for multilingual writers. See 30f and 30h. 26a  Use adjectives to modify nouns. Adjectives ordinarily precede the nouns they modify. But they can also function as subject complements or object complements, following the nouns they modify. MULTILINGUAL In English, adjectives are not pluralized to agree with the words they modify: The red [not reds] roses were a surprise. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 226 7/26/11 10:00 AM adj/adv adjectives and adverbs  •  adjectives after verb such as is  •  adjectives after object 26a 227 Subject complements A subject complement follows a linking verb and completes the meaning of the subject. (See 47b.) When an adjective functions as a subject complement, it describes the subject. Justice is blind. Problems can arise with verbs such as smell, taste, look, and feel, which sometimes, but not always, function as linking verbs. If the word following one of these verbs describes the subject, use an adjective; if the word following the verb modifies the verb, use an adverb. ADJECTIVE The detective looked cautious. ADVERB The detective looked cautiously for fingerprints. The adjective cautious describes the detective; the adverb cau- tiously modifies the verb looked. Linking verbs suggest states of being, not actions. Notice, for example, the different meanings of looked in the preceding ex- amples. To look cautious suggests the state of being cautious; to look cautiously is to perform an action in a cautious way. sweet ▶▶ The lilacs in our backyard smell especially sweetly this year. ^ The verb smell suggests a state of being, not an action. Therefore, it should be followed by an adjective, not an adverb. good ▶▶ The drawings looked well after the architect made a few ^ changes. The verb looked is a linking verb suggesting a state of being, not an action. The adjective good is appropriate following the linking verb to describe drawings. (See also 26c.) Object complements An object complement follows a direct object and completes its meaning. (See 47b.) When an adjective functions as an object complement, it describes the direct object. Sorrow makes us wise. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 227 7/26/11 10:00 AM adj/adv 228 26b Adjectives and adverbs Object complements occur with verbs such as call, consider, create, find, keep, and make. When a modifier follows the direct object of one of these verbs, use an adjective to describe the direct object; use an adverb to modify the verb. ADJECTIVE The referee called the plays perfect. ADVERB The referee called the plays perfectly. The first sentence means that the referee considered the plays to be perfect; the second means that the referee did an excellent job of calling the plays. 26b  Use adverbs to modify verbs, adjectives, and other adverbs. When adverbs modify verbs (or verbals), they nearly always answer the question When? Where? How? Why? Under what conditions? How often? or To what degree? When adverbs modify adjectives or other adverbs, they usually qualify or intensify the meaning of the word they modify. (See 46e.) Adjectives are often used incorrectly in place of adverbs in casual or nonstandard speech. perfectly ▶▶ The travel arrangement worked out perfect for everyone. ^ smoothly efficiently. ▶▶ The manager must see that the office runs smooth and efficient. ^ ^ The adverb perfectly modifies the verb worked out; the adverbs smoothly and efficiently modify the verb runs. ▶▶ The chance of recovering any property lost in the fire looks really real slim. ^Only adverbs can modify adjectives or other adverbs. Really intensifies the meaning of the adjective slim. 26c  Distinguish between good and well, bad and badly. Good is an adjective ( good performance). Well is an adverb when it modifies a verb (speak well). The use of the adjective good in place of the adverb well to modify a verb is nonstandard and es- pecially common in casual speech. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 228 7/26/11 10:00 AM adj/adv adverbs with verb, adjective, adverb  •  good vs. well  •  bad vs. badly  •  more vs. most  •  -er vs. -est forms 26d 229 well ▶▶ We were glad that Sanya had done good on the CPA exam. The adverb well modifies the verb had done. ^ Confusion can arise because well is an adjective when it modi- fies a noun or pronoun and means “healthy” or “satisfactory” (The babies were well and warm). well, ▶▶ Adrienne did not feel good, but she made her presentation ^ anyway. As an adjective following the linking verb did feel, well describes Adrienne’s health. Bad is always an adjective and should be used to describe a noun; badly is always an adverb and should be used to modify a verb. The adverb badly is often used inappropriately to describe a noun, especially following a linking verb. bad ▶▶ The sisters felt badly when they realized they had left their ^ brother out of the planning. The adjective bad is used after the linking verb felt to describe the noun sisters. 26d  Use comparatives and superlatives with care. Most adjectives and adverbs have three forms: the positive, the comparative, and the superlative. POSITIVE COMPARATIVE SUPERLATIVE soft softer softest fast faster fastest careful more careful most careful bad worse worst good better best Comparative versus superlative Use the comparative to compare two things, the superlative to compare three or more. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 229 7/26/11 10:00 AM adj/adv 230 26d Adjectives and adverbs better? ▶▶ Which of these two low-carb drinks is best? ^ most ▶▶ Though Shaw and Jackson are impressive, Zhao is the more ^ qualified of the three candidates running for mayor. Forming comparatives and superlatives To form comparatives and superlatives of most one- and two-syllable adjectives, use the endings -er and -est: smooth, smoother, smoothest; easy, easier, easiest. With longer adjectives, use more and most (or less and least for downward comparisons): exciting, more exciting, most exciting; helpful, less helpful, least helpful. Some one-syllable adverbs take the endings -er and -est (  fast, faster, fastest), but longer adverbs and all of those ending in -ly form the comparative and superlative with more and most (or less and least). The comparative and superlative forms of some adjectives and adverbs are irregular: good, better, best; well, better, best; bad, worse, worst; badly, worse, worst. most talented ▶▶ The Kirov is the talentedest ballet company we have seen. ^ ▶▶ According to our projections, sales at local businesses will worse be worser than those at the chain stores this winter. ^ Double comparatives or superlatives Do not use double comparatives or superlatives. When you have added -er or -est to an adjective or adverb, do not also use more or most (or less or least). ▶▶ Of all her family, Julia is the most happiest about the move. likely ▶▶ All the polls indicated that Gore was more likelier to win ^ than Bush. Absolute concepts Avoid expressions such as more straight, less perfect, very round, and most unique. Either something is unique or it isn’t. It is illogi- cal to suggest that absolute concepts come in degrees. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 230 7/26/11 10:00 AM adj/adv more vs. most  •  -er vs. -est forms  •  unique, perfect, etc.  •  avoiding no, not with other negative word 26e 231 unusual ▶▶ That is the most unique wedding gown I have ever seen. ^ valuable ▶▶ The painting would have been even more priceless had it ^ been signed. 26e  Avoid double negatives. Standard English allows two negatives only if a positive meaning is intended: The orchestra was not unhappy with its performance (meaning that the orchestra was happy). Using a double negative to emphasize a negative meaning is nonstandard. Negative modifiers such as never, no, and not should not be paired with other negative modifiers or with negative words such as neither, none, no one, nobody, and nothing. anything ▶▶ The county is not doing nothing to see that the trash is ^ picked up. The double negative not . . . nothing is nonstandard. The modifiers hardly, barely, and scarcely are considered negatives in standard English, so they should not be used with negatives such as not, no one, or never. can ▶▶ Maxine is so weak that she can’t hardly climb stairs. ^ EXERCISE 26–1  Edit the following sentences to eliminate errors in the use of adjectives and adverbs. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: well We weren’t surprised by how good the sidecar racing team ^ flowed through the tricky course. a. Did you do good on last week’s chemistry exam? b. With the budget deadline approaching, our office hasn’t hardly had time to handle routine correspondence. c. Some flowers smell surprisingly bad. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  26–3 and 26–4 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 231 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 232 27 Verb forms, tenses, and moods d. The customer complained that he hadn’t been treated nice. e. Of all my relatives, Uncle Roberto is the most cleverest. 1. When you answer the phone, speak clear and courteous. 2. Who was more upset about the loss? Was it the coach or the quarterback or the owner of the team? 3. To a novice skateboarder, even the basic ollie seems real challenging. 4. After checking how bad I had been hurt, my sister dialed 911. 5. If the college’s Web page had been updated more regular, students would have learned about the new course offerings. EXERCISE 26–2 Edit the following passage to eliminate errors in the use of adjectives and adverbs. Doctors recommend that to give skin the most fullest protection from ultraviolet rays, people should use plenty of sunscreen, limit sun exposure, and wear protective clothing. The commonest sunscreens today are known as “broad spectrum” because they block out both UVA and UVB rays. These lotions don’t feel any differently on the skin from the old UVA-only types, but they work best at preventing premature aging and skin cancer. Many sunscreens claim to be waterproof, but they won’t hardly provide adequate coverage after extended periods of swimming or perspiring. To protect good, even waterproof sunscreens should be reapplied liberal and often. All areas of exposed skin, including ears, backs of hands, and tops of feet, need to be coated good to avoid burning or damage. Some people’s skin reacts bad to PABA, or para-aminobenzoic acid, so PABA-free (hypoallergenic) sunscreens are widely available. In addition to recommending sunscreen, doctors almost unanimously agree that people should stay out of the sun when rays are the most strongest — between 10:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. — and should limit time in the sun. They also suggest that people wear long-sleeved shirts, broad-brimmed hats, and long pants whenever possible. 27 Choose appropriate verb forms,  tenses, and moods in standard  English. In speech, some people use verb forms and tenses that match a home dialect or variety of English. In writing, use standard En- glish verb forms unless you are quoting nonstandard speech or using alternative forms for literary effect. (See 17c.) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 232 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb standard verb forms  •  verbs with irregular endings (go, went, gone; see, saw, seen, etc.) 27a 233 Except for the verb be, all verbs in English have five forms. The following list shows the five forms and provides a sample sentence in which each might appear. BASE FORM Usually I (walk, ride). PAST TENSE Yesterday I (walked, rode). PAST PARTICIPLE I have (walked, ridden) many times before. PRESENT PARTICIPLE I am (walking, riding) right now. -S FORM He/she/it (walks, rides) regularly. The verb be has eight forms instead of the usual five: be, am, is, are, was, were, being, been. 27a  Choose standard English forms of irregular verbs. For all regular verbs, the past-tense and past-participle forms are the same (ending in -ed or -d), so there is no danger of confu- sion. This is not true, however, for irregular verbs, such as the following. BASE FORM PAST TENSE PAST PARTICIPLE go went gone break broke broken fly flew flown sing sang sung The past-tense form always occurs alone, without a helping verb. It expresses action that occurred entirely in the past: I rode to work yesterday. I walked to work last Tuesday. The past participle is used with a helping verb. It forms the perfect tenses with has, have, or had; it forms the passive voice with be, am, is, are, was, were, being, or been. (See 46c for a complete list of helping verbs and 27f for a survey of tenses.) PAST TENSE Last July, we went to Paris. helping verb + PAST PARTICIPLE We have gone to Paris twice. The list of common irregular verbs beginning on the next page will help you distinguish between the past tense and the past parti- ciple. Choose the past-participle form if the verb in your sentence 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 233 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 234 27a Verb forms, tenses, and moods requires a helping verb; choose the past-tense form if the verb does not require a helping verb. (See verb tenses in 27f.) saw ▶▶ Yesterday we seen a documentary about Isabel Allende. ^ The past-tense saw is required because there is no helping verb. stolen ▶▶ The truck was apparently stole while the driver ate lunch. ^ fallen ▶▶ By Friday, the stock market had fell two hundred points. ^ Because of the helping verbs was and had, the past-participle forms are required: was stolen, had fallen. Common irregular verbs BASE FORM PAST TENSE PAST PARTICIPLE arise arose arisen awake awoke, awaked awaked, awoke, awoken be was, were been beat beat beaten, beat become became become begin began begun bend bent bent bite bit bitten, bit blow blew blown break broke broken bring brought brought build built built burst burst burst buy bought bought catch caught caught choose chose chosen cling clung clung come came come cost cost cost deal dealt dealt dig dug dug dive dived, dove dived do did done 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 234 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb verbs with irregular endings 27a 235 BASE FORM PAST TENSE PAST PARTICIPLE drag dragged dragged draw drew drawn dream dreamed, dreamt dreamed, dreamt drink drank drunk drive drove driven eat ate eaten fall fell fallen fight fought fought find found found fly flew flown forget forgot forgotten, forgot freeze froze frozen get got gotten, got give gave given go went gone grow grew grown hang (execute) hanged hanged hang (suspend) hung hung have had had hear heard heard hide hid hidden hurt hurt hurt keep kept kept know knew known lay (put) laid laid lead led led lend lent lent let (allow) let let lie (recline) lay lain lose lost lost make made made prove proved proved, proven read read read ride rode ridden ring rang rung rise (get up) rose risen (continued) 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 235 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 236 27b Verb forms, tenses, and moods BASE FORM PAST TENSE PAST PARTICIPLE run ran run say said said see saw seen send sent sent set (place) set set shake shook shaken shoot shot shot shrink shrank shrunk sing sang sung sink sank sunk sit (be seated) sat sat slay slew slain sleep slept slept speak spoke spoken spin spun spun spring sprang sprung stand stood stood steal stole stolen sting stung stung strike struck struck, stricken swear swore sworn swim swam swum swing swung swung take took taken teach taught taught throw threw thrown wake woke, waked waked, woken wear wore worn wring wrung wrung write wrote written 27b  Distinguish among the forms of lie and lay. Writers and speakers frequently confuse the various forms of lie (meaning “to recline or rest on a surface”) and lay (meaning “to put or place something”). Lie is an intransitive verb; it does not 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 236 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb lie vs. lay 27b 237 take a direct object: The tax forms lie on the table. The verb lay is transitive; it takes a direct object: Please lay the tax forms on the table. (See 47b.) In addition to confusing the meaning of lie and lay, writers and speakers are often unfamiliar with the standard English forms of these verbs. PAST PRESENT BASE FORM PAST TENSE PARTICIPLE PARTICIPLE lie (“recline”) lay lain lying lay (“put”) laid laid laying lay ▶▶ Sue was so exhausted that she laid down for a nap. ^ The past-tense form of lie (“to recline”) is lay. lain ▶▶ The patient had laid in an uncomfortable position all night. ^ The past-participle form of lie (“to recline”) is lain. If the correct English seems too stilted, recast the sentence: The patient had been lying in an uncomfortable position all night. laid ▶▶ The prosecutor lay the pistol on a table close to the jurors. ^ The past-tense form of lay (“to place”) is laid. lying ▶▶ Letters dating from the Civil War were laying in the corner of ^ the chest. The present participle of lie (“to rest on a surface”) is lying. EXERCISE 27–1  Edit the following sentences to eliminate problems with irregular verbs. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. An- swers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: saw The ranger seen the forest fire ten miles away. ^ a. When I get the urge to exercise, I lay down until it passes. b. Grandmother had drove our new hybrid to the sunrise church service on Savage Mountain, so we were left with the station wagon. c. A pile of dirty rags was laying at the bottom of the stairs. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  27–4 and 27–5 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 237 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 238 27c Verb forms, tenses, and moods d. How did the game know that the player had went from the room with the blue ogre to the hall where the gold was heaped? e. Abraham Lincoln took good care of his legal clients; the contracts he drew for the Illinois Central Railroad could never be broke.   1. The burglar must have gone immediately upstairs, grabbed what looked good, and took off.   2. Have you ever dreamed that you were falling from a cliff or flying through the air?   3. Tomás reached for the pen, signed the title page of his novel, and then laid the book on the table for the first customer in line.   4. In her junior year, Cindy run the 400-meter dash in 58.1 seconds.   5. Larry claimed that he had drank too much soda, but Esther suspected the truth. 27c  Use -s (or -es) endings on present-tense verbs that have third-person singular subjects. All singular nouns (child, tree) and the pronouns he, she, and it are third-person singular; indefinite pronouns such as everyone and neither are also third-person singular. When the subject of a sentence is third-person singular, its verb takes an -s or -es ending in the present tense. (See also 21.) SINGULAR PLURAL first person I know we know second person you know you know third person he/she/it knows they know child knows parents know everyone knows drives ▶▶ My neighbor drive to Marco Island every weekend. ^ turns dissolves eats ▶▶ Sulfur dioxide turn leaves yellow, dissolve marble, and eat ^ ^ ^ away iron and steel. The subjects neighbor and sulfur dioxide are third-person singular, so the verbs must end in -s. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 238 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb using the -s (-es) verb form  •  singular vs. plural subjects  •  has vs. have 27c 239 tip: Do not add the -s ending to the verb if the subject is not third-person singular. The writers of the following sentences, knowing they sometimes dropped -s endings from verbs, over- corrected by adding the endings where they don’t belong. ▶▶ I prepare/s program specifications and logic diagrams for every installation. The writer mistakenly concluded that the -s ending belongs on present- tense verbs used with all singular subjects, not just third-person singular subjects. The pronoun I is first-person singular, so its verb does not require the -s. ▶▶ The dirt floors require/s continual sweeping. The writer mistakenly thought that the verb needed an -s ending because of the plural subject. But the -s ending is used only on present- tense verbs with third-person singular subjects. Has versus have In the present tense, use has with third-person singular subjects; all other subjects require have. SINGULAR PLURAL first person I have we have SECOND PERSON you have you have third person he/she/it has they have has ▶▶ This respected musician almost always have a message to ^ convey in his work. The subject musician is third-person singular, so the verb should be has. have ▶▶ My law classes has helped me understand contracts. ^ The subject of this sentence — classes — is third-person plural, so standard English requires have. Has is used only with third-person singular subjects. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 239 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 240 27d Verb forms, tenses, and moods Does versus do and doesn’t versus don’t In the present tense, use does and doesn’t with third-person sin- gular subjects; all other subjects require do and don’t. SINGULAR PLURAL first person I do/don’t we do/don’t SECOND PERSON you do/don’t you do/don’t THIRD PERSON he/she/it does/doesn’t they do/don’t doesn’t ▶▶ Grandfather really don’t have a place to call home. ^ Grandfather is third-person singular, so the verb should be doesn’t. Am, is, and are; was and were The verb be has three forms in the present tense (am, is, are) and two in the past tense (was, were). SINGULAR PLURAL first person I am/was we are/were SECOND PERSON you are/were you are/were THIRD PERSON he/she/it is/was they are/were were ▶▶ Did you think you was going to drown? ^ The subject you is second-person singular, so the verb should be were. 27d  Do not omit -ed endings on verbs. Speakers who do not fully pronounce -ed endings sometimes omit them unintentionally in writing. Leaving off -ed end- ings is common in many dialects and in informal speech even in standard English. In the following frequently used words and phrases, for example, the -ed ending is not always fully pronounced. advised developed prejudiced supposed to asked fixed pronounced used to concerned frightened stereotyped 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 240 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb does vs. do, doesn’t vs. don’t  •  am vs. is and are, was vs. were  •  -ed ending  •  past tense 27d 241 When a verb is regular, both the past tense and the past parti- ciple are formed by adding -ed (or -d) to the base form of the verb. Past tense Use the ending -ed or -d to express the past tense of regular verbs. The past tense is used when the action occurred entirely in the past. fixed ▶▶ Over the weekend, Ed fix his brother’s skateboard and tuned ^ up his mother’s 1991 Fiat. advised ▶▶ Last summer, my counselor advise me to ask my chemistry ^ instructor for help. Past participles Past participles are used in three ways: (1) following have, has, or had to form one of the perfect tenses; (2) following be, am, is, are, was, were, being, or been to form the passive voice; and (3) as adjectives modifying nouns or pronouns. The perfect tenses are listed on page 244, and the passive voice is discussed in 8a. For a discussion of participles as adjectives, see 48b. asked ▶▶ Robin has ask for more housing staff for next year. ^ Has asked is present perfect tense (have or has followed by a past participle). ▶▶ Though it is not a new phenomenon, domestic violence is publicized now publicize more than ever. ^ Is publicized is a verb in the passive voice (a form of be followed by a past participle). ▶▶ All kickboxing classes end in a cool-down period to stretch tightened tighten muscles. ^The past participle tightened functions as an adjective modifying the noun muscles. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 241 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 242 27e Verb forms, tenses, and moods 27e  Do not omit needed verbs. Although standard English allows some linking verbs and help- ing verbs to be contracted in informal contexts, it does not allow them to be omitted. Linking verbs, used to link subjects to subject complements, are frequently a form of be: be, am, is, are, was, were, being, been. (See 47b.) Some of these forms may be contracted (I’m, she’s, we’re, you’re, they’re), but they should not be omitted altogether. are ▶▶ When▶we▶quiet▶in▶the▶evening,▶we▶can▶hear▶crickets▶in▶the▶woods. ^ Helping verbs, used with main verbs, include forms of be, do, and have and the modal verbs can, will, shall, could, would, should, may, might, and must. (See 46c.) Some helping verbs may be contracted (he’s leaving, we’ll celebrate, they’ve been told), but they should not be omitted altogether. have ▶▶ We▶been▶in▶Chicago▶since▶last▶Th ▶ ursday. ^ would ▶▶ Do▶you▶know▶someone▶who▶be▶good▶for▶the▶job? ^ MULTILINGUAL Some languages do not require a linking verb between a subject and its complement. English, however, requires a verb in every sentence. See 30a. am ▶▶ Every▶night,▶I▶read▶a▶short▶book▶to▶my▶daughter.▶When▶I▶too▶busy, ^ ▶ my▶husband▶reads▶to▶her. EXERCISE 27–2 Edit the following sentences to eliminate problems with -s and -ed verb forms and with omitted verbs. If a sentence is cor- rect, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: covers Th ▶ e▶Pell▶Grant▶sometimes▶cover▶the▶student’s▶full▶tuition. ^ PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules > Grammar > 27–6 and 27–7 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 242 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb missing verbs  •  linking verbs (is, were)  •  tenses  •  simple (walk)  •  perfect (had walked)  •  progressive (am walking) 27f 243 a. The glass sculptures of the Swan Boats was prominent in the brightly lit lobby. b. Visitors to the glass museum were not suppose to touch the exhibits. c. Our church has all the latest technology, even a close-circuit television. d. Christos didn’t know about Marlo’s promotion because he never listens. He always talking. e. Most psychologists agree that no one performs well under stress.   1. Have there ever been a time in your life when you were too depressed to get out of bed?   2. My days in this department have taught me to do what I’m told without asking questions.   3. We have change our plan and are waiting out the storm before leaving.   4. Winter training for search-and-rescue divers consist of building up a tolerance to icy water temperatures.   5. How would you feel if a love one had been a victim of a crime like this? 27f  Choose the appropriate verb tense. Tenses indicate the time of an action in relation to the time of the speaking or writing about that action. The most common problem with tenses — shifting confus- ingly from one tense to another — is discussed in section 13. Other problems with tenses are detailed in this section, after the following survey of tenses. Survey of tenses Tenses are classified as present, past, and future, with simple, per- fect, and progressive forms for each. Simple tenses  The simple tenses indicate relatively simple time relations. The simple present tense is used primarily for actions oc- curring at the same time they are being discussed or for actions occurring regularly. The simple past tense is used for actions com- pleted in the past. The simple future tense is used for actions that will occur in the future. In the following table, the simple tenses are given for the regular verb walk, the irregular verb ride, and the highly irregular verb be. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 243 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 244 27f Verb forms, tenses, and moods simple present singular plural I walk, ride, am we walk, ride, are you walk, ride, are you walk, ride, are he/she/it walks, rides, is they walk, ride, are simple past singular plural I walked, rode, was we walked, rode, were you walked, rode, were you walked, rode, were he/she/it walked, rode, was they walked, rode, were simple future I, you, he/she/it, we, they will walk, ride, be Perfect tenses  More complex time relations are indicated by the perfect tenses. A verb in one of the perfect tenses (a form of have plus the past participle) expresses an action that was or will be completed at the time of another action. present perfect I, you, we, they have walked, ridden, been he/she/it has walked, ridden, been past perfect I, you, he/she/it, we, they had walked, ridden, been future perfect I, you, he/she/it, we, they will have walked, ridden, been Progressive forms  The simple and perfect tenses have progres- sive forms that describe actions in progress. A progressive verb consists of a form of be followed by a present participle. The pro- gressive forms are not normally used with certain verbs, such as believe, know, hear, seem, and think. present progressive I am walking, riding, being he/she/it is walking, riding, being you, we, they are walking, riding, being 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 244 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb perfect (had walked) • progressive (am walking) • present tense • writing about literature and scientific facts 27f 245 PAST PROGRESSIVE I, he/she/it was walking, riding, being you, we, they were walking, riding, being FUTURE PROGRESSIVE I, you, he/she/it, we, they will be walking, riding, being PRESENT PERFECT PROGRESSIVE I, you, we, they have been walking, riding, being he/she/it has been walking, riding, being PAST PERFECT PROGRESSIVE I, you, he/she/it, we, they had been walking, riding, being FUTURE PERFECT PROGRESSIVE I, you, he/she/it, we, they will have been walking, riding, being MULTILINGUAL See 28a for more specific examples of verb tenses that can be challenging for multilingual writers. Special uses of the present tense Use the present tense when expressing general truths, when writing about literature, and when quoting, summarizing, or paraphrasing an author’s views. General truths or scientific principles should appear in the present tense unless such principles have been disproved. revolves ▶▶ Galileo▶taught▶that▶the▶earth▶revolved▶around▶the▶sun. ^ Because Galileo’s teaching has not been discredited, the verb should be in the present tense. The following sentence, however, is acceptable: Ptolemy taught that the sun revolved around the earth. When writing about a work of literature, you may be tempted to use the past tense. The convention, however, is to describe fictional events in the present tense. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 245 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 246 27f Verb forms, tenses, and moods reaches ▶▶ In Masuji Ibuse’s Black Rain, a child reached for a ^ pomegranate in his mother’s garden, and a moment later is he was dead, killed by the blast of the atomic bomb. ^ When you are quoting, summarizing, or paraphrasing the author of a nonliterary work, use present-tense verbs such as writes, reports, asserts, and so on to introduce the source. This convention is usually followed even when the author is dead (unless a date or the context specifies the time of writing). argues ▶▶ Dr. Jerome Groopman argued that doctors are “susceptible ^ to the subtle and not so subtle efforts of the pharmaceutical industry to sculpt our thinking” (9). In MLA style, signal phrases are written in the present tense, not the past tense. (See also 59a.) APA note:  When you are documenting a paper with the APA (American Psychological Association) style of in-text citations, use past tense verbs such as reported or demonstrated or present perfect verbs such as has reported or has demonstrated to intro- duce the source. E. Wilson (1994) reported that positive reinforcement alone was a less effective teaching technique than a mixture of positive reinforcement and constructive criticism. The past perfect tense The past perfect tense consists of a past participle preceded by had (had worked, had gone). This tense is used for an action already completed by the time of another past action or for an action already completed at some specific past time. Everyone had spoken by the time I arrived. I pleaded my case, but Paula had made up her mind. Writers sometimes use the simple past tense when they should use the past perfect. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 246 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb past perfect (had spoken) vs. past (spoke)  •  tenses with infinitives (to see), participles (given) 27f 247 ▶▶ We built our cabin high on a pine knoll, forty feet above an had been abandoned quarry that was flooded in 1920 to create a lake. ^ The building of the cabin and the flooding of the quarry both occurred in the past, but the flooding was completed before the time of building. had ▶▶ By the time dinner was served, the guest of honor left. ^ The past perfect tense is needed because the action of leaving was already completed at a specific past time (when dinner was served). Some writers tend to overuse the past perfect tense. Do not use the past perfect if two past actions occurred at the same time. wrote ▶▶ When Ernest Hemingway lived in Cuba, he had written ^ For Whom the Bell Tolls. Sequence of tenses with infinitives and participles An infinitive is the base form of a verb preceded by to. (See 48b.) Use the present infinitive to show action at the same time as or later than the action of the verb in the sentence. raise ▶▶ The club had hoped to have raised a thousand dollars by ^ April 1. The action expressed in the infinitive (to raise) occurred later than the action of the sentence’s verb (had hoped). Use the perfect form of an infinitive (to have followed by the past participle) for an action occurring earlier than that of the verb in the sentence. have joined ▶▶ Dan would like to join the navy, but he did not pass the ^ physical. The liking occurs in the present; the joining would have occurred in the past. Like the tense of an infinitive, the tense of a participle is governed by the tense of the sentence’s verb. Use the present 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 247 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 248 27g Verb forms, tenses, and moods participle (ending in -ing) for an action occurring at the same time as that of the sentence’s verb. Hiking the Appalachian Trail in early spring, we spotted many wildflowers. Use the past participle (such as given or helped) or the present­ perfect participle (having plus the past participle) for an action­ occurring before that of the verb. Discovered off the coast of Florida, the Spanish galleon yielded many treasures. Having worked her way through college, Lee graduated debt-free. 27g  Use the subjunctive mood in the few contexts that require it. There are three moods in English: the indicative, used for facts, opinions, and questions; the imperative, used for orders or advice; and the subjunctive, used in certain contexts to express wishes, re- quests, or conditions contrary to fact. For many writers, the sub- junctive causes the most problems. Forms of the subjunctive In the subjunctive mood, present-tense verbs do not change form to indicate the number and person of the subject (see 21). In- stead, the subjunctive uses the base form of the verb (be, drive, employ) with all subjects. It is important that you be [not are] prepared for the interview. We asked that she drive [not drives] more slowly. Also, in the subjunctive mood, there is only one past-tense form of be: were (never was). If I were [not was] you, I’d try a new strategy. Uses of the subjunctive The subjunctive mood appears only in a few contexts: in contrary- to-fact clauses beginning with if or expressing a wish; in that clauses 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 248 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb verbs with if, when  •  conditional  •  subjunctive  •  contrary-to-fact  •  wishes  •  with ask, insist 27g 249 following verbs such as ask, insist, recommend, request, and suggest; and in certain set expressions. In contrary-to-fact clauses beginning with if  When a subordi- nate clause beginning with if expresses a condition contrary to fact, use the subjunctive were in place of was. were ▶▶ If I was a member of Congress, I would vote for the new ^ health care bill. ▶▶ The astronomers would be able to see the moons of Jupiter were tonight if the weather was clearer. ^ The verbs in these sentences express conditions that do not exist: The writer is not a member of Congress, and the weather is not clear. Do not use the subjunctive mood in if clauses expressing conditions that exist or may exist. If Dana wins the contest, she will leave for Barcelona in June. In contrary-to-fact clauses expressing a wish In formal En­glish, use the subjunctive were in clauses expressing a wish or desire. While use of the indicative is common in informal speech, it is not appropriate in academic writing. INFORMAL I wish that Dr. Vaughn was my professor. FORMAL I wish that Dr. Vaughn were my professor. In that clauses following verbs such as ask, insist, request, and suggest  Because requests have not yet become reality, they are expressed in the subjunctive mood. be ▶▶ Professor Moore insists that her students are on time. ^ file ▶▶ We recommend that Lambert files form 1050 soon. ^ In certain set expressions  The subjunctive mood, once more widely used, remains in certain set expressions: Be that as it may, as it were, far be it from me, and so on. 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 249 7/26/11 10:00 AM vb 250 27g Verb forms, tenses, and moods EXERCISE 27–3  Edit the following sentences to eliminate errors in verb tense or mood. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. An- swers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: had been After the path was plowed, we were able to walk through ^ the park. a. The palace of Knossos in Crete is believed to have been destroyed by fire around 1375 bce. b. Watson and Crick discovered the mechanism that controlled inheritance in all life: the workings of the DNA molecule. c. When city planners proposed rezoning the waterfront, did they know that the mayor promised to curb development in that neighborhood? d. Tonight’s concert begins at 9:30. If it were earlier, I’d consider going. e. As soon as my aunt applied for the position of pastor, the post was filled by an inexperienced seminary graduate who had been so hastily snatched that his mortarboard was still in midair.   1. Don Quixote, in Cervantes’s novel, was an idealist ill suited for life in the real world.   2. Visiting the technology museum inspired the high school seniors and had reminded them that science could be fun.   3. I would like to have been on the Mayflower but not to have experienced the first winter.   4. When the director yelled “Action!” I forgot my lines, even though I practiced my part every waking hour for three days.   5. If midday naps were a regular practice in American workplaces, employees would be far more productive. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Grammar >  27–8 and 27–9 07_7813_Part3_179-250.indd 250 7/26/11 10:00 AM Multilingual Writers and ESL Challenges 28 Verbs, 252 29 Articles (a, an, the) and types of nouns, 267 30 Sentence structure, 277 31 Prepositions and idiomatic expressions, 286 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 251 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 252 28 Verbs This section of Rules for Writers is primarily for multilingual writers. You may find this section helpful if you learned English as a second language (ESL) or if you speak a language other than English with your friends and family. 28 Verbs Both native and nonnative speakers of English encounter chal- lenges with verbs. Section 28 focuses on specific challenges that multilingual writers sometimes face. You can find more help with verbs in other sections in the book: making subjects and verbs agree (21) using irregular verb forms (27a, 27b) leaving off verb endings (27c, 27d) choosing the correct verb tense (27f ) avoiding inappropriate uses of the passive voice (8a) 28a Use the appropriate verb form and tense. This section offers a brief review of English verb forms and tenses. For additional help, see 27 and 46c. Basic verb forms Every main verb in English has five forms, which are used to cre- ate all of the verb tenses in standard English. The chart at the top of page 253 shows these forms for the regular verb help and the irregular verbs give and be. See 27a for the forms of other com- mon irregular verbs. PraCTiCe aND moDels hackerhandbooks.com/rules  >  Multilingual/ESL   >  Charts and study help >  Sample student paper (draft and fi nal) >  Exercises >  Links to online resources 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 252 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL verbs  •  tenses  •  regular verbs (study, studied, studied)  •  irregular verbs (break, broke, broken)  •  active voice 28a 253 Basic verb forms regular verb irregular irregular help verb give verb be * base form help give be PAST TENSE helped gave was, were PAST PARTICIPLE helped given been PRESENT PARTICIPLE helping giving being -S FORM helps gives is *Be also has the forms am and are, which are used in the present tense. Verb tenses Section 27f describes all the verb tenses in English, showing the forms of a regular verb, an irregular verb, and the verb be in each tense. The chart on this page provides more details about the tenses commonly used in the active voice in writing; the chart on page 256 gives details about tenses commonly used in the ­passive voice. Verb tenses commonly used in the active voice For descriptions and examples of all verb tenses, see 27f. For verb tenses commonly used in the passive voice, see the chart on page 256. Simple tenses For general facts, states of being, habitual actions Simple present Base form or -s form ●● general facts College students often study late at night. ●● states of being Water becomes steam at 100° centigrade. ●● habitual, repetitive We donate to a different charity each actions year. ●● scheduled future The train arrives tomorrow at 6:30 p.m. events NOTE:  For uses of the present tense in writing about literature, see page 245. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 253 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 254 28a Verbs Verb tenses commonly used in the active voice (continued) Simple past Base form + -ed or -d or irregular form ●● completed actions at a The storm destroyed their property. specific time in the past She drove to Montana three years ago. ●● facts or states of being in When I was young, I usually walked the past to school with my sister. Simple future will + base form ●● future actions, promises, I will exercise tomorrow. The snowfall or predictions will begin around midnight. Simple progressive forms For continuing actions Present progressive am, is, are + present participle ●● actions in progress at The students are taking an exam in the present time, not Room 105. continuing indefinitely The valet is parking the car. ●● future actions (with leave, I am leaving tomorrow morning. go, come, move, etc.) Past progressive was, were + present participle ●● actions in progress at a They were swimming when the storm specific time in the past struck. ●● was going to, were going We were going to drive to Florida for to for past plans that did spring break, but the car broke down. not happen NOTE:  Some verbs are not normally used in the progressive: appear, believe, belong, contain, have, hear, know, like, need, see, seem, taste, understand, and want. want ▶▶ I am wanting to see August Wilson’s Radio Golf. ^ Perfect tenses For actions that happened or will happen before another time Present perfect has, have + past participle ●● repetitive or constant I have loved cats since I was a child. actions that began in Alicia has worked in Kenya for ten the past and continue years. to the present 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 254 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL tenses  •  active voice (study, will perform)  •  passive voice (was seen, had been written) 28b 255 Present perfect has, have + past participle ●● actions that happened Stephen has visited Wales three times. at an unknown or unspecific past time Past perfect had + past participle ●● actions that began or She had just crossed the street when occurred before another the runaway car crashed into the time in the past building. NOTE:  For more discussion of uses of the past perfect, see 27f. For uses of the past perfect in conditional sentences, see 28e. Perfect progressive forms For continuous past actions before another time Present perfect progressive has, have + been + present participle ●● continuous actions Yolanda has been trying to get a job in that began in the past Boston for five years. and continue to the present Past perfect progressive had + been + present participle ●● actions that began and By the time I moved to Georgia, I had continued in the past been supporting myself for five years. until another past action 28b  To write a verb in the passive voice, use a form of be with the past participle. When a sentence is written in the passive voice, the subject receives the action instead of doing it. (See 47c.) The solution was measured by the lab assistant. To form the passive voice, use a form of be — am, is, are, was, were, being, be, or been — followed by the past participle of the main verb: was sent, are served. (Sometimes a form of be fol- lows another helping verb: will be cut, could have been done.) written ▶▶ Dreaming in Cuban was writing by Cristina García. ^ In the passive voice, the past participle written, not the present participle writing, must follow was (the past tense of be). 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 255 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 256 28b Verbs Verb tenses commonly used in the passive voice For details about verb tenses in the active voice, see pages 253–55. Simple tenses (passive voice) Simple present am, is, are + past participle ●● general facts Breakfast is served daily. ●● habitual, repetitive actions The receipts are counted every night. Simple past was, were + past participle ●● completed past actions He was punished for being late. Simple future will be + past participle ●● future actions, promises, The decision will be made by the or predictions committee next week. Simple progressive forms (passive voice) Present progressive am, is, are + being + past participle ●● actions in progress at The new stadium is being built with the present time private money. ●● future actions (with leave, Jo is being moved to a new class go, come, move, etc.) next month. Past progressive was, were + being + past participle ●● actions in progress at a We thought we were being followed. specific time in the past Perfect tenses (passive voice) Present perfect has, have + been + past participle ●● actions that began in The flight has been delayed because the past and continue of storms in the Midwest. to the present ●● actions that happened Wars have been fought throughout at an unknown or un- history. specific time in the past Past perfect had + been + past participle ●● actions that began or He had been given all the hints he occurred before another needed to complete the puzzle. time in the past NOTE:  Future progressive, future perfect, and perfect progressive forms are not used in the passive voice. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 256 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL tenses in passive  •  simple (are served, is being shown)  •  perfect (had been fought) 28b 257 be ▶▶ Senator Dixon will defeated. ^ The passive voice requires a form of be before the past participle. teased. ▶▶ The child was being tease. ^ The past participle teased, not the base form tease, must be used with was being to form the passive voice. For details on forming the passive in various tenses, consult the chart on page 256. (For appropriate uses of the passive voice, see 8a.) note:  Only transitive verbs, those that take direct objects, may be used in the passive voice. Intransitive verbs such as occur, happen, sleep, die, become, and fall are not used in the passive. (See 47b.) ▶▶ The accident was happened suddenly. EXERCISE 28–1  Revise the following sentences to correct errors in verb forms and tenses in the active and the passive voice. You may need to look at 27a for the correct form of some irregular verbs and at 27f for help with tenses. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: begins The meeting begin tonight at 7:30. ^ a. In the past, tobacco companies deny any connection between smoking and health problems. b. There is nothing in the world that TV has not touch on. c. I am wanting to register for a summer tutoring session. d. By the end of the year, the state will have test 139 birds for avian flu. e. The benefits of eating fruits and vegetables have been promoting by health care providers.   1. By the time he was twelve years old, Mozart had compose an entire opera.   2. The sound was occurred whenever someone stepped on the loose board.   3. My family has been gone to Sam’s restaurant ever since we moved to this neighborhood. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  28–5  >  28–9 (verb review) 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 257 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 258 28c Verbs   4. I have ate Thai food only once before.   5. The bear is appearing to be sedated. 28c  Use the base form of the verb after a modal. The modal verbs are can, could, may, might, must, shall, should, will, and would. (Ought to is also considered a modal verb.) The modals are used with the base form of a verb to show certainty, necessity, or possibility. Modals and the verbs that follow them do not change form to indicate tense. For a summary of modals and their meanings, see the chart on pages 259–60. (See also 27e.) launch ▶▶ The art museum will launches its fundraising campaign ^ next month. The modal will must be followed by the base form launch, not the present tense launches. speak ▶▶ The translator could spoke many languages, so the ambas- ^ sador hired her for the European tour. The modal could must be followed by the base form speak, not the past tense spoke. tip:  Do not use to in front of a main verb that follows a modal. ▶▶ Gina can to drive us home if we miss the last train. For the use of modals in conditional sentences, see 28e. EXERCISE 28–2  Edit the following sentences to correct errors in the use of verb forms with modals. You may find it helpful to consult the chart on pages 259–60. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: We should to order pizza for dinner. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  28–6  >  28–9 (verb review) 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 258 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL modals  •  can, could, may, might, must, etc. 28c 259 a. A major league pitcher can to throw a baseball more than ninety- five miles per hour. b. The writing center tutor will helps you revise your essay. c. A reptile must adjusted its body temperature to its environment. d. In some states, individuals may renew a driver’s license online or in person. e. My uncle, a cartoonist, could sketched a face in less than two minutes.   1. Working more than twelve hours a day might to contribute to insomnia, according to researchers.   2. A wasp will carry its immobilized prey back to the nest.   3. Hikers should not wandered too far from the trail.   4. Should we continued to submit hard copies of our essays?   5. Physical therapy may to help people after heart surgery. Modals and their meanings can ●● general ability Ants can survive anywhere, even in (present) space. Jorge can run a marathon faster than his brother. ●● informal requests or Can you tell me where the light is? permission Sandy can borrow my calculator. could ●● general ability Lea could read when she was only three (past) years old. ●● polite, informal Could you give me that pen? requests or permission may ●● formal requests or May I see the report? Students may permission park only in the yellow zone. ●● possibility I may try to finish my homework tonight, or I may wake up early and finish it tomorrow. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 259 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 260 28c Verbs Modals and their meanings (continued) might ●● possibility Funding for the language lab might double by 2017. NOTE:  Might usually expresses a stronger possibility than may. must ●● necessity (present To be effective, welfare-to-work or future) programs must provide access to job training. ●● strong probability Amy must be nervous. [She is probably nervous.] ●● near certainty I must have left my wallet at home. (present or past) [I almost certainly left my wallet at home.] should ●● suggestions or Diabetics should drink plenty of water advice every day. ●● obligations or The government should protect citizens’ duties rights. ●● expectations The books should arrive soon. [We expect the books to arrive soon.] will ●● certainty If you don’t leave now, you will be late for your rehearsal. ●● requests Will you help me study for my psychology exam? ●● promises and offers Jonah will arrange the carpool. would ●● polite requests Would you help me carry these books? I would like some coffee. [Would like is more polite than want.] ●● habitual or Whenever Elena needed help with sewing, repeated actions she would call her aunt. (past) 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 260 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL modals  •  can, could, may, might, must, etc.  •  using not with verb  •  avoiding double negative  •  conditional 28e 261 28d  To make negative verb forms, add not in the appropriate place. If the verb is the simple present or past tense of be (am, is, are, was, were), add not after the verb. Gianna is not a member of the club. For simple present-tense verbs other than be, use do or does plus not before the base form of the verb. (For the correct forms of do and does, see the chart on p. 198.) does not ▶▶ Mariko no want more dessert. ^ ▶▶ Mariko does not want/s more dessert. For simple past-tense verbs other than be, use did plus not before the base form of the verb. plant ▶▶ They did not planted corn this year. ^ In a verb phrase consisting of one or more helping verbs and a present or past participle (is watching, were living, has played, could have been driven), use the word not after the first helping verb. not ▶▶ Inna should have not gone dancing last night. ^ not ▶▶ Bonnie is no singing this weekend. ^ note:  English allows only one negative in an independent clause to express a negative idea; using more than one is an error known as a double negative (see 26e). any ▶▶ We could not find no books about the history of our school. ^ 28e  In a conditional sentence, choose verb tenses according to the type of condition expressed in the sentence. Conditional sentences contain two clauses: a subordinate clause (usually starting with if, when, or unless) and an independent 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 261 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 262 28e Verbs clause. The subordinate clause (sometimes called the if or unless clause) states the condition or cause; the independent clause states the result or effect. In each example in this section, the subordi- nate clause (if clause) is marked sub, and the independent clause is marked ind. (See 48e on clauses.) Factual Factual conditional sentences express factual relationships. If the relationship is a scientific truth, use the present tense in both clauses. SUB IND If water cools to 32° Fahrenheit, it freezes. If the sentence describes a condition that is (or was) habitually true, use the same tense in both clauses. SUB IND When Sue jogs along the canal, her dog runs ahead of her. SUB IND Whenever the coach asked for help, I volunteered. Predictive Predictive conditional sentences are used to predict the future or to express future plans or possibilities. To form a predictive sentence, use a present-tense verb in the subordinate clause; in the independent clause, use the modal will, can, may, should, or might plus the base form of the verb. SUB IND If you practice regularly, your tennis game should improve. IND SUB We will lose our remaining wetlands unless we act now. TIP:  In all types of conditional sentences (factual, predic- tive, and speculative), if or unless clauses do not use the modal verb will. passes ▶▶ If Jenna will pass her history test, she will graduate this year. ^ 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 262 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL if clauses  •  when clauses  •  expressing facts  • conditional  •  predicting  •  expressing unlikely conditions 28e 263 Speculative Speculative conditional sentences express unlikely, contrary-to-fact, or impossible conditions. English uses the past or past perfect tense in the if clause, even for conditions in the present or the future. If the condition is possible but unlikely in Unlikely possibilities  the present or the future, use the past tense in the subordinate clause; in the independent clause, use would, could, or might plus the base form of the verb. SUB IND If I won the lottery, I would travel to Egypt. The writer does not expect to win the lottery. Because this is a possible but unlikely present or future situation, the subordinate clause uses the past tense. Conditions contrary to fact  In conditions that are currently ­unreal or contrary to fact, use the past-tense verb were (not was) in the if clause for all subjects. (See also 27g, on the subjunctive mood.) were ▶▶ If I was president, I would make children’s issues a priority. ^ The writer is not president, so were is correct in the if clause. Events that did not happen  In a conditional sentence that specu- lates about an event that did not happen or was impossible in the past, use the past perfect tense in the if clause; in the independent clause, use would have, could have, or might have with the past participle. (See also past perfect tense, p. 255.) SUB IND If I had saved more money, I would have visited Laos last year. The writer did not save more money and did not travel to Laos. This sentence shows a possibility that did not happen. SUB IND If Aunt Grace had been alive for your graduation, she would have been very proud. Aunt Grace was not alive at the time of the graduation. This sen- tence shows an impossible situation in the past. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 263 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 264 28f Verbs EXERCISE 28–3  Edit the following sentences to correct problems with verbs. In some cases, more than one revision is possible. Suggested revi- sions of lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: had If I have time, I would study both French and Russian next ^ semester. a. The electrician might have discovered the broken circuit if she went through the modules one at a time. b. If Verena wins a scholarship, she would go to graduate school. c. Whenever there is a fire in our neighborhood, everybody came out to watch. d. Sarah did not understood the terms of her internship. e. If I live in Budapest with my cousin Szusza, she would teach me Hungarian cooking.   1. If the science fiction festival starts Monday, we wouldn’t need to plan entertainment for our visitors.   2. If everyone has voted in the last election, the results would have been very different.   3. The tenants will not pay the rent unless the landlord fixed the furnace.   4. When dark gray clouds appeared on a hot summer afternoon, a thunderstorm often follows.   5. Rosalie should no offer to volunteer at the shelter on school nights. 28f  Become familiar with verbs that may be followed by gerunds or infinitives. A gerund is a verb form that ends in -ing and is used as a noun: sleeping, dreaming. (See 48b.) An infinitive is the word to plus the base form of the verb: to sleep, to dream. (The word to is an infini- tive marker, not a preposition, in this use.) A few verbs may be followed by either a gerund or an infinitive; others may be followed by a gerund but not by an infinitive; still oth- ers may be followed by an infinitive but not by a gerund. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  28–7  >  28–9 (verb review) 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 264 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL verb + gerund (running)  •  verb + infinitive (to run) 28f 265 Verb + gerund or infinitive (no change in meaning) The following commonly used verbs may be followed by a ­gerund or an infinitive, with little or no difference in meaning: begin hate love continue like start I love skiing. I love to ski. Verb + gerund or infinitive (change in meaning) With a few verbs, the choice of a gerund or an infinitive changes the meaning dramatically: forget remember stop try She stopped speaking to Lucia. [She no longer spoke to Lucia.] She stopped to speak to Lucia. [She paused so that she could speak to Lucia.] Verb + gerund These verbs may be followed by a gerund but not by an infinitive: admit discuss imagine put off risk appreciate enjoy miss quit suggest avoid escape postpone recall tolerate deny finish practice resist Bill enjoys playing [not to play] the piano. Jamie quit smoking. Verb + infinitive These verbs may be followed by an infinitive but not by a gerund: agree decide manage plan wait ask expect mean pretend want beg help need promise wish claim hope offer refuse would like Jill has offered to water [not watering] the plants while we are away. Joe finally managed to find a parking space. The man refused to join the rebellion. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 265 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 266 28f Verbs A few of these verbs may be followed either by an infinitive directly or by a noun or pronoun plus an infinitive: ask help promise would like expect need want We asked to speak to the congregation. We asked Rabbi Abrams to speak to our congregation. Alex expected to get the lead in the play. Ira expected Alex to get the lead in the play. Verb + noun or pronoun + infinitive With certain verbs in the active voice, a noun or pronoun must come between the verb and the infinitive that follows it. The noun or pronoun usually names a person who is affected by the action of the verb. advise convince order tell allow encourage persuade urge cause have (“own”) remind warn command instruct require V N INF The class encouraged Luis to tell the story of his escape. The counselor advised Haley to take four courses instead of five. Professor Howlett instructed us to write our names on the left side of the paper. Verb + noun or pronoun + unmarked infinitive An unmarked infinitive is an infinitive without to. A few verbs (often called causative verbs) may be followed by a noun or pro- noun and an unmarked infinitive. have (“cause”) let (“allow”) help make (“force”) Jorge had the valet park his car. ▶▶ Please let me to pay for the tickets. ▶▶ Frank made me to carry his book for him. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 266 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL verb + gerund (running)  •  verb + infi nitive (to run)  •  articles  (a, an, the)  •  other noun markers (my, their, this, any, most) 29a 267 NoTe: Help can be followed by a noun or pronoun and either an unmarked or a marked infinitive. Emma helped Brian wash the dishes. Emma helped Brian to wash the dishes. eXerCise 28–4 Form sentences by adding gerund or infinitive con- structions to the following sentence openings. In some cases, more than one kind of construction is possible. Possible answers to lettered items appear in the back of the book. Example: Please▶remind▶your sister to call me. ^ a. I enjoy b. The tutor told Samantha c. The team hopes d. Ricardo and his brothers miss e. The babysitter let 1. Pollen makes 2. The club president asked 3. next summer we plan 4. My supervisor intends 5. Please stop 29 Articles Articles (a, an, the) are part of a category of words known as noun markers or determiners. 29a Be familiar with articles and other noun markers. Standard English uses noun markers to help identify the nouns that follow. In addition to articles (a, an, and the), noun markers include • possessive nouns, such as Elena’s (See 36a.) PraCTiCe hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >   28–8 and 28–9 (verb review) 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 267 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 268 29a Articles (a, an, the) • possessive pronoun/adjectives: my, your, his, her, its, our, their (See 46b.) • demonstrative pronoun/adjectives: this, that, these, those (See 46b.) • quantifiers: all, any, each, either, every, few, many, more, most, much, neither, several, some, and so on (See 29d.) • numbers: one, twenty-three, and so on Using articles and other noun markers Articles and other noun markers always appear before nouns; sometimes other modifiers, such as adjectives, come between a noun marker and a noun. art n Felix is reading a book about mythology. art adj n We took an exciting trip to Alaska last summer. NOUN MARKER ADV ADJ N That very delicious meal was expensive. In most cases, do not use an article with another noun marker. ▶▶ The Natalie’s older brother lives in Wisconsin. Expressions like a few, the most, and all the are exceptions: a few potatoes, all the rain. See also 29d. Types of articles and types of nouns To choose an appropriate article for a noun, you must first determine whether the noun is common or proper, count or noncount, singular or plural, and specific or general. The chart on pages 270–71 describes the types of nouns. Articles are classified as indefinite and definite. The indefi- nite articles, a and an, are used with general nouns. The definite article, the, is used with specific nouns. (The last section of the chart on p. 271 explains general and specific nouns.) A and an both mean “one” or “one among many.” Use a­ before a consonant sound: a banana, a tree, a picture, a happy child, a united family. Use an before a vowel sound: an eggplant, an occasion, an uncle, an honorable person. (See also a, an in the glossary of usage.) 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 268 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL other noun markers (this, any, etc.)  •  indefinite article (a, an)  •  definite article (the)  •  the with specific nouns 29b 269 The shows that a noun is specific; use the with one or more than one specific thing: the newspaper, the soldiers. 29b  Use the with most specific common nouns. The definite article, the, is used with most nouns — both count and noncount — that the reader can identify specifically. Usually the identity will be clear to the reader for one of the following reasons. (See also the chart on pages 272–73.) 1. The noun has been previously mentioned. the ▶▶ A truck cut in front of our van. When truck skidded a few ^ seconds later, we almost crashed into it. The article A is used before truck when the noun is first mentioned. When the noun is mentioned again, it needs the article the because readers can now identify which truck skidded — the one that cut in front of the van. 2. A phrase or clause following the noun restricts its identity. the ▶▶ Bryce warned me that GPS in his car was not working. ^ The phrase in his car identifies the specific GPS. NOTE:  Descriptive adjectives do not necessarily make a noun specific. A specific noun is one that readers can identify within a group of nouns of the same type. a ▶▶ If I win the lottery, I will buy the brand-new bright red ^ sports car. The reader cannot identify which specific brand-new bright red sports car the writer will buy. Even though car has many adjectives in front of it, it is a general noun in this sentence. 3. A superlative adjective such as best or most intelligent makes the noun’s identity specific. (See also 26d on comparatives and superlatives.) the ▶▶ Our petite daughter dated tallest boy in her class. ^ The superlative tallest makes the noun boy specific. Although there might be several tall boys, only one boy can be the tallest. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 269 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 270 29b Articles (a, an, the) Types of nouns Common or proper Common nouns Examples ●● name general persons, religion beauty places, things, or ideas knowledge student rain country ●● begin with lowercase Proper nouns Examples ●● name specific persons, Hinduism President Adams places, things, or ideas Philip Washington Monument Vietnam Renaissance ●● begin with capital letter Count or noncount (common nouns only) Count nouns Examples ●● name persons, places, girl, girls things, or ideas that can city, cities be counted goose, geese philosophy, philosophies ●● have plural forms Noncount nouns Examples ●● name things or abstract water patience ideas that cannot be silver knowledge counted furniture air ●● cannot be made plural NOTE:  See the chart on page 273 for commonly used noncount nouns. Singular or plural (both common and proper) Singular nouns (count and noncount) Examples ●● represent one person, backpack rain place, thing, or idea country beauty woman Nile River achievement Block Island Plural nouns (count only) Examples ●● represent more than one backpacks Ural Mountains person, place, thing, or countries Falkland Islands idea women achievements ●● must be count nouns 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 270 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL types of nouns  •  common/proper  •   count/noncount  •  singular/plural  •  specific/general 29c 271 Specific (definite) or general (indefinite) (count and noncount) Specific nouns Examples ●● name persons, places, The students in Professor Martin’s things, or ideas that can class should study. be identified within a The airplane carrying the senator group of the same type was late. The furniture in the truck was damaged. General nouns Examples ●● name categories of Students should study. persons, places, things, Books bridge gaps between cultures. or ideas (often plural) The airplane has made commuting between cities easy. 4. The noun describes a unique person, place, or thing. the ▶▶ During an eclipse, one should not look directly at sun. ^ There is only one sun in our solar system, so its identity is clear. 5. The context or situation makes the noun’s identity clear. the ▶▶ Please don’t slam door when you leave. ^ Both the speaker and the listener know which door is meant. 6. The noun is singular and refers to a scientific class or cat- egory of items (most often animals, musical instruments, and inventions). The tin ▶▶ Tin whistle is common in traditional Irish music. ^The writer is referring to the tin whistle as a class of musical instruments. 29c  Use a (or an) with common singular count nouns that refer to “one” or “any.” If a count noun refers to one unspecific item (not a whole cat- egory), use the indefinite article, a or an. A and an usually mean 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 271 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 272 29c Articles (a, an, the) “one among many” but can also mean “any one.” (See the chart below.) a ▶▶ My English professor asked me to bring dictionary to class. ^ The noun dictionary refers to “one unspecific dictionary” or “any dictionary.” an ▶▶ We want to rent apartment close to the lake. ^ The noun apartment refers to “any apartment close to the lake,” not a specific apartment. Choosing articles for common nouns Use the ●● if the reader has COUNT: Please turn on the lights. We’re enough information going to the lake tomorrow. to identify the noun NONCOUNT: The food throughout Italy specifically is excellent. Use a or an ●● if the noun refers to COUNT: Bring a pencil to class. Charles one item wrote an essay about his first job. and ●● if the item is singular but not specific NOTE:  Do not use a or an with plural or noncount nouns. Use a quantifier (enough, many, some, etc.) ●● if the noun represents Amir showed us some COUNT (  plural ): an unspecified amount photos of India. Many turtles return to of something the same nesting site each year. ●● if the amount is more NONCOUNT: We didn’t get enough rain than one but not all this summer. items in a category NOTE: Sometimes no article conveys an unspecified amount: Amir showed us photos of India. Use no article ●● if the noun represents all COUNT ( plural ): Students can attend the items in a category show for free. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 272 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL a, an with some singular nouns  •  choosing a, an, the for common nouns  •  noncount nouns (courage, money) 29d 273 ●● if the noun represents a NONCOUNT: Coal is a natural resource. category in general NOTE:  The is occasionally used when a singular count noun refers to all items in a class or a specific category: The bald eagle is no longer endangered in the United States. Commonly used noncount nouns Food and drink beef, bread, butter, candy, cereal, cheese, cream, meat, milk, pasta, rice, salt, sugar, water, wine Nonfood substances air, cement, coal, dirt, gasoline, gold, paper, petroleum, plastic, rain, silver, snow, soap, steel, wood, wool Abstract nouns advice, anger, beauty, confidence, courage, employment, fun, happiness, health, honesty, information, intelligence, knowledge, love, poverty, satisfaction, wealth Other biology (and other areas of study), clothing, equipment, furni- ture, homework, jewelry, luggage, machinery, mail, money, news, poetry, pollution, research, scenery, traffic, transportation, violence, weather, work NOTE:  A few noncount nouns (such as love) can also be used as count nouns: He had two loves: music and archery. 29d  Use a quantifier such as some or more, not a or an, with a noncount noun to express an approximate amount. Do not use a or an with noncount nouns. Also do not use num- bers or words such as several or many because they must be 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 273 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 274 29e Articles (a, an, the) used with plural nouns, and noncount nouns do not have plural forms. (See the chart on p. 273 for a list of commonly used non- count nouns.) ▶▶ Dr. Snyder gave us an information about the Peace Corps. ▶▶ Do you have many money with you? You can use quantifiers such as enough, less, and some to sug- gest approximate amounts or nonspecific quantities of noncount nouns: a little salt, any homework, enough wood, less information, much pollution. some ▶▶ Vincent’s mother told him that she had a news that would ^ surprise him. 29e  Do not use articles with nouns that refer to all of something or something in general. When a noncount noun refers to all of its type or to a concept in general, it is not marked with an article. Kindness ▶▶ The kindness is a virtue. ^The noun represents kindness in general; it does not represent a specific type of kindness. ▶▶ In some parts of the world, the rice is preferred to all other grains. The noun rice represents rice in general, not a specific type or serving of rice. In most cases, when you use a count noun to represent a general category, make the noun plural. Do not use unmarked singular count nouns to represent whole categories. Fountains are ▶▶ Fountain is an expensive element of landscape design. ^Fountains is a count noun that represents fountains in general. EXCEPTION:  In some cases, the can be used with singular count nouns to represent a class or specific category: The Chinese alligator is smaller than the American alligator. See also number 6 in 29b. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 274 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL not using a, an, the with general noncount nouns  •  when to use a, an, the with proper nouns 29f 275 29f  Do not use articles with most singular proper nouns. Use the with most plural proper nouns. Since singular proper nouns are already specific, they typically do not need an article: Prime Minister Cameron, Jamaica, Lake Huron, Mount Etna. There are, however, many exceptions. In most cases, if the proper noun consists of a common noun with modifiers (adjec- tives or an of phrase), use the with the proper noun. the ▶▶ We visited Great Wall of China last year. ^ the ▶▶ Rob wants to be a translator for Central Intelligence Agency. ^ The is used with most plural proper nouns: the McGregors, the Bahamas, the Finger Lakes, the United States. Geographic names create problems because there are so many exceptions to the rules. When in doubt, consult the chart on page 276, check a dictionary, or ask a native speaker. EXERCISE 29–1  Edit the following sentences for proper use of articles and nouns. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to let- tered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: The Josefina’s dance routine was flawless. a. Doing volunteer work often brings a satisfaction. b. As I looked out the window of the plane, I could see the Cape Cod. c. Melina likes to drink her coffees with lots of cream. d. Recovering from abdominal surgery requires patience. e. I completed the my homework assignment quickly. 1. The attorney argued that her client should receive a money for emotional suffering. 2. Please check to see if there is a mail in the mailbox. 3. The Times Square in New York City is known for its billboards and theaters. 4. A cement is one of the components of concrete. 5. I took all the boys on the roller coaster after lunch. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  29–3 to 29–5 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 275 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 276 29f Articles (a, an, the) Using the with geographic nouns When to omit the streets, squares, parks Ivy Street, Union Square, Denali National Park cities, states, counties Miami, New Mexico, Bee County most countries, Italy, Nigeria, China, South America,   continents Africa bays, single lakes Tampa Bay, Lake Geneva single mountains, islands Mount Everest, Crete When to use the country names with of the United States (of America), the   phrase People’s Republic of China large regions, deserts the East Coast, the Sahara peninsulas the Baja Peninsula, the Sinai Peninsula oceans, seas, gulfs the Pacific Ocean, the Dead Sea, the Persian Gulf canals and rivers the Panama Canal, the Amazon mountain ranges the Rocky Mountains, the Alps groups of islands the Solomon Islands EXERCISE 29–2  Articles have been omitted from the following de- scription of winter weather. Insert the articles a, an, and the where English requires them and be prepared to explain the reasons for your choices. Many people confuse terms hail, sleet, and freezing rain. Hail normally occurs in thunderstorm and is caused by strong updrafts that lift growing chunks of ice into clouds. When chunks of ice, called hailstones, become too heavy to be carried by updrafts, they fall to ground. Hailstones can cause damage to crops, windshields, and people. Sleet occurs during winter storms and is caused by snowflakes falling from layer of cold air into warm layer, where they become raindrops, and then into another cold layer. As they fall through last layer of cold air, raindrops freeze and become small ice pellets, forming sleet. When it hits car windshield or windows of house, sleet can make annoying racket. Driving and walking can be hazardous when sleet accumulates on roads and sidewalks. Freezing rain is basically rain that falls onto ground and then freezes after it hits ground. It causes icy glaze on trees and any surface that is below freezing. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 276 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL the with geographic nouns  •  structure  •  missing verbs  •  linking verbs (is, were)  •  it as subject 30b 277 30 Sentence structure Although their structure can vary widely, sentences in English generally flow from subject to verb to object or complement: Bears eat fish. This section focuses on the major challenges that multilingual students face when writing sentences in English. For more details on the parts of speech and the elements of sentences, consult sections 46–49. 30a Use a linking verb between a subject and its complement. Some languages, such as Russian and Turkish, do not use link- ing verbs (is, are, was, were) between subjects and complements (nouns or adjectives that rename or describe the subject). Every English sentence, however, must include a verb. For more on linking verbs, see 27e. is ▶▶ Jim▶intelligent. ^ are ▶▶ Many▶streets▶in▶San▶Francisco▶very▶steep. ^ 30b Include a subject in every sentence. Some languages, such as Spanish and Japanese, do not require a subject in every sentence. Every English sentence, however, needs a subject. Commands are an exception: The subject you is understood but not present in the sentence ([You] Give me the book). She seems ▶▶ Your▶aunt▶is▶very▶energetic.▶Seems▶young▶for▶her▶age. ^ The word it is used as the subject of a sentence describing the weather or temperature, stating the time, indicating distance, or suggesting an environmental fact. It is ▶▶ Is▶raining▶in▶the▶valley▶and▶snowing▶in▶the▶mountains. ^ 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 277 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 278 30b Sentence structure it ▶▶ In July, is very hot in Arizona. ^ It is ▶▶ Is 9:15 a.m. ^ In most English sentences, the subject appears before the verb. Some sentences, however, are inverted: The subject comes after the verb. In these sentences, a placeholder called an expletive (there or it) often comes before the verb. EXP V S S V There are many people here today. (Many people are here today.) There is ▶▶ Is an apple pie in the refrigerator. ^ there are ▶▶ As you know, many religious sects in India. ^ Notice that the verb agrees with the subject that follows it: apple pie is, sects are. (See 21g.) Sometimes an inverted sentence has an infinitive (to work) or a noun clause (that she is intelligent) as the subject. In such sentences, the placeholder it is needed before the verb. (Also see 48b and 48e.) EXP V S S V It is important to study daily. (To study daily is important.) it ▶▶ Because the road is flooded, is necessary to change our route. ^ TIP: The words here and there are not used as subjects. When they mean “in this place” (here) or “in that place” (there), they are adverbs, not nouns. It ▶▶ I just returned from a vacation in Japan. There is very there. ^ beautiful/. ^ This school that school ▶▶ Here offers a master’s degree in physical therapy; there has ^ ^ only a bachelor’s program. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 278 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL there with verb  •  avoiding repeated subjects  •  not repeating objects  •  not repeating adverbs 30d 279 30c  Do not use both a noun and a pronoun to perform the same grammatical function in a sentence. English does not allow a subject to be repeated in its own clause. ▶▶ The doctor she advised me to cut down on salt. The pronoun she cannot repeat the subject, doctor. Do not add a pronoun even when a word group comes be- tween the subject and the verb. ▶▶ The watch that I lost on vacation it was in my backpack. The pronoun it cannot repeat the subject, watch. Some languages allow “topic fronting,” placing a word or phrase (a “topic”) at the beginning of a sentence and following it with an independent clause that explains something about the topic. This form is not allowed in English because the sentence seems to start with one subject but then introduces a new subject in an independent clause. TOPIC IND CLAUSE INCORRECT The seeds I planted them last fall. The sentence can be corrected by bringing the topic (seeds) into the independent clause. the seeds ▶▶ The seeds I planted them last fall. ^ 30d  Do not repeat an object or an adverb in an adjective clause. Adjective clauses begin with relative pronouns (who, whom, whose, which, that) or relative adverbs (when, where). Relative pronouns usually serve as subjects or objects in the clauses they introduce; another word in the clause cannot serve the same 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 279 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 280 30d Sentence structure function. Relative adverbs should not be repeated by other ad- verbs later in the clause. ADJ CLAUSE The cat ran under the car that was parked on the street. ▶▶ The cat ran under the car that it was parked on the street. The relative pronoun that is the subject of the adjective clause, so the pronoun it cannot be added as a subject. ▶▶ Myrna enjoyed the investment seminars that she attended them last week. The relative pronoun that is the object of the verb attended. The pronoun them cannot also serve as an object. Sometimes the relative pronoun is understood but not pres- ent in the sentence. In such cases, do not add another word with the same function as the omitted pronoun. ▶▶ Myrna enjoyed the investment seminars she attended them last week. The relative pronoun that is understood after seminars even though it is not present in the sentence. If the clause begins with a relative adverb, do not use another adverb with the same meaning later in the clause. ▶▶ The office where I work there is one hour from the city. The adverb there cannot repeat the relative adverb where. EXERCISE 30–1  In the following sentences, add needed subjects or expletives and delete any repeated subjects, objects, or adverbs. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: The new geology professor is the one whom we saw him on TV this morning. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  30–5 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 280 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL avoid repeated adverbs  •   sentences with although and because 30e 281 a. Are some cartons of ice cream in the freezer. b. I don’t use the subway because am afraid. c. The prime minister she is the most popular leader in my country. d. We tried to get in touch with the same manager whom we spoke to him earlier. e. Recently have been a number of earthquakes in Turkey.   1. We visited an island where several ancient ruins are being exca- vated there.   2. In this city is difficult to find a high-paying job.   3. Beginning knitters they are often surprised that their fingers are sore at first.   4. Is a banyan tree in our backyard.   5. The CD that teaches Italian for opera lovers it was stolen from my backpack. 30e  Avoid mixed constructions beginning with although or because. A word group that begins with although cannot be linked to a word group that begins with but or however. The result is an error called a mixed construction (see also 11a). Similarly, a word group that begins with because cannot be linked to a word group that begins with so or therefore. If you want to keep although or because, drop the other link- ing word. ▶▶ Although Nikki Giovanni is best known for her poetry for adults, but she has written several books for children. ▶▶ Because German and Dutch are related languages, therefore tourists from Berlin can usually read a few signs in Amsterdam. If you want to keep the other linking word, omit although or because. ▶▶ Although Nikki Giovanni is best known for her poetry for adults, but she has written several books for children. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 281 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 282 30f Sentence structure ▶▶ Because German and Dutch are related languages/, ; therefore, ^ ^ tourists from Berlin can usually read a few signs in Amsterdam. For advice about using commas and semicolons with linking words, see 32a and 34b. 30f  Do not place an adverb between a verb and its direct object. Adverbs modifying verbs can appear in various positions: at the beginning or end of a sentence, before or after a verb, or between a helping verb and its main verb. Slowly, we drove along the rain-slick road. Mia handled the teapot very carefully. Martin always wins our tennis matches. Christina is rarely late for our lunch dates. My daughter has often spoken of you. The election results were being closely followed by analysts. However, an adverb cannot appear between a verb and its direct object. carefully ▶▶ Mother wrapped carefully the gift. ^ The adverb carefully cannot appear between the verb, wrapped, and its direct object, the gift. EXERCISE 30–2  Edit the following sentences for proper sentence structure. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to let- tered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: slowly. She peeled slowly the banana/. ^ a. Although freshwater freezes at 32° Fahrenheit, however ocean water freezes at 28° Fahrenheit. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  30–6 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 282 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL placing adverbs  •   choosing -ing or -ed adjectives (exciting, excited) 30g 283 b. Because we switched cable packages, so our channel lineup has changed. c. The competitor mounted confidently his skateboard. d. My sister performs well the legong, a Balinese dance. e. Because product development is behind schedule, we will have to launch the product next spring. 1. The bank teller counted methodically the stack of twenty-dollar bills. 2. I gasped when I saw lightning strike repeatedly the barn. 3. Although hockey is traditionally a winter sport, but many towns offer skills programs all year long. 4. Because salmon can survive in both freshwater and salt water, so they are classified as anadromous fish. 5. A surveyor determines precisely the boundaries of a piece of property. 30g  Distinguish between present participles and past participles used as adjectives. Both present and past participles may be used as adjectives. The present participle always ends in -ing. Past participles usually end in -ed, -d, -en, -n, or -t. (See 27a.) PRESENT PARTICIPLES confusing, speaking, boring PAST PARTICIPLES confused, spoken, bored Like all other adjectives, participles can come before nouns; they also can follow linking verbs, in which case they describe the subject of the sentence. (See 47b.) Use a present participle to describe a person or thing causing or stimulating an experience. The boring lecture put us to sleep. [The lecture caused boredom.] Use a past participle to describe a person or thing under- going an experience. The audience was bored by the lecture. [The audience experienced boredom.] 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 283 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 284 30g Sentence structure Participles that describe emotions or mental states often cause the most confusion. annoying/annoyed exhausting/exhausted boring/bored fascinating/fascinated confusing/confused frightening/frightened depressing/depressed satisfying/satisfied exciting/excited surprising/surprised exhausting. ▶▶ Our hike was exhausted. ^ Exhausting suggests that the hike caused exhaustion. exhausted ▶▶ The exhausting hikers reached the campground at sunset. ^ Exhausted describes how the hikers felt. EXERCISE 30–3  Edit the following sentences for proper use of present and past participles. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: excited Danielle and Monica were very exciting to be going to a ^ Broadway show for the first time. a. Listening to everyone’s complaints all day was irritated. The long flight to Singapore was exhausted. b. c. His skill at chess is amazing. After a great deal of research, the scientist made a fascinated d. discovery. e. Surviving that tornado was one of the most frightened experi- ences I’ve ever had. 1. I couldn’t concentrate on my homework because I was distracted. 2. The directions to the new board game seem extremely complicating. 3. How interested are you in visiting Civil War battlefields? 4. The aerial view of the devastated villages was depressing. 5. Even after the lecturer went over the main points again, the ­students were still confusing. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  30–7 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 284 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL participles as adjectives  •  order of adjectives 30h 285 30h  Place cumulative adjectives in an appropriate order. Adjectives usually come before the nouns they modify and may also come after linking verbs. (See 46d and 47b.) ADJ N V ADJ Janine wore a new necklace. Janine’s necklace was new. Cumulative adjectives, which cannot be joined by the word and or separated by commas, must come in a particular order. If you use cumulative adjectives before a noun, see the chart on page 286. The chart is only a guide; don’t be surprised if you en- counter exceptions. (See also 33d.) stained red plastic ▶▶ My dorm room has only a desk and a plastic red stained chair. clear blue ^ ▶▶ Nice weather, blue clear water, and ancient monuments ^ attract many people to Italy. EXERCISE 30–4  Using the chart on page 286 as necessary, arrange the following modifiers and nouns in their proper order. Answers to lettered items appear in the back of the book. Example: two new French racing bicycles new, French, two, bicycles, racing a. sculptor, young, an, Vietnamese, intelligent b. dedicated, a, priest, Catholic c. old, her, sweater, blue, wool d. delicious, Joe’s, Scandinavian, bread e. many, boxes, jewelry, antique, beautiful 1. oval, nine, brass, lamps, miniature 2. several, yellow, tulips, tiny 3. the, tree, gingko, yellow, ancient, Mongolian 4. courtyard, a, square, small, brick 5. charming, restaurants, Latvian, several PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  30–8 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 285 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 286 31 Prepositions and idiomatic expressions order of cumulative adjectives firsT arTiCle or oTHer NouN marKer a, an, the, her, Joe’s, two, many, some evaluaTive WorD attractive, dedicated, delicious, ugly, disgusting siZe large, enormous, small, little leNgTH or sHaPe long, short, round, square age new, old, young, antique Color yellow, blue, crimson NaTioNaliTY French, Peruvian, Vietnamese religioN Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Muslim maTerial silver, walnut, wool, marble lasT NouN/aDJeCTive tree (as in tree house), kitchen (as in kitchen table) THe NouN moDifieD house, coat, bicycle, bread, woman, coin My large blue wool coat is in the attic. Joe’s collection includes two small antique silver coins. 31 Prepositions and idiomatic expressions 31a Become familiar with prepositions that show time and place. The most frequently used prepositions in English are at, by, for, from, in, of, on, to, and with. Prepositions can be difficult to mas- ter because the differences among them are subtle and idiomatic. The chart on page 288 is limited to three troublesome preposi- tions that show time and place: at, on, and in. not every possible use is listed in the chart, so don’t be sur- prised when you encounter exceptions and idiomatic uses that you must learn one at a time. For example, in English a person rides in a car but on a bus, plane, train, or subway. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 286 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL order of adjectives  •  prepositions in common expressions  •   at, on, in  •  preposition + -ing form 31b 287 at ▶▶ My first class starts on 8:00 a.m. ^ on ▶▶ The farmers go to market in Wednesday. ^ in ▶▶ I want to work at one of the biggest companies on the world. ^ EXERCISE 31–1  In the following sentences, replace prepositions that are not used correctly. You may need to refer to the chart on page 288. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sen- tences appear in the back of the book. Example: at The play begins on 7:20 p.m. ^ a. Whenever we eat at the Centerville Café, we sit at a small table on the corner of the room. b. In the 1990s, entrepreneurs created new online businesses in record numbers. c. In Thursday, Nancy will attend her first home repair class at the community center. d. Alex began looking for her lost mitten in another location. e. We decided to go to a restaurant because there was no fresh food on the refrigerator.   1. I like walking at my neighborhood in night.   2. If the train is on time, it will arrive on six o’clock at the morning.   3. In the corner of the room is a large bookcase with a pair of small Russian dolls standing at the top shelf.   4. She licked the stamp, stuck it in the envelope, put the envelope on her pocket, and walked to the nearest mailbox.   5. The mailbox was in the intersection of Laidlaw Avenue and ­Williams Street. 31b  Use nouns (including -ing forms) after prepositions. In a prepositional phrase, use a noun (not a verb) after the prepo- sition. Sometimes the noun will be a gerund, the -ing verb form that functions as a noun (see 48b). saving ▶▶ Our student government is good at save money. ^ PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Multilingual/ESL  >  31–2 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 287 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 288 31b Prepositions and idiomatic expressions At, on, and in to show time and place Showing time At at a specific time: at 7:20, at dawn, at dinner On on a specific day or date: on Tuesday, on June 4 In in a part of a 24-hour period: in the afternoon, in the daytime [but at night] in a year or month: in 2008, in July in a period of time: finished in three hours Showing place At at a meeting place or location: at home, at the club at the edge of something: sitting at the desk at the corner of something: turning at the intersection at a target: throwing the snowball at Lucy On on a surface: placed on the table, hanging on the wall on a street: the house on Spring Street on an electronic medium: on television, on the Internet In in an enclosed space: in the garage, in an envelope in a geographic location: in San Diego, in Texas in a print medium: in a book, in a magazine Distinguish between the preposition to and the infinitive marker to. If to is a preposition, it should be followed by a noun or a gerund. helping ▶▶ We are dedicated to help the poor. ^ If to is an infinitive marker, it should be followed by the base form of the verb. help ▶▶ We want to helping the poor. ^ To test whether to is a preposition or an infinitive marker, insert a word that you know is a noun after the word to. If 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 288 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL at, on, in  •  adjective + preposition (afraid of, known for)  •  verb + preposition (ask for, forget about) 31d 289 the noun makes sense in that position, to is a preposition. If the noun does not make sense after to, then to is an infinitive marker. Zoe is addicted to . They are planning to . In the first sentence, a noun (such as magazines) makes sense after to, so to is a preposition and should be followed by a noun or a gerund: Zoe is addicted to magazines. Zoe is addicted to running. In the second sentence, a noun (such as magazines) does not make sense after to, so to is an infinitive marker and must be fol- lowed by the base form of the verb: They are planning to build a new school. 31c  Become familiar with common adjective + preposition combinations. Some adjectives appear only with certain prepositions. These ex- pressions are idiomatic and may be different from the combina- tions used in your native language. to ▶▶ Paula is married with Jon. ^ Check an ESL dictionary for combinations that are not listed in the chart on page 290. 31d  Become familiar with common verb + preposition combinations. Many verbs and prepositions appear together in idiomatic phrases. Pay special attention to the combinations that are differ- ent from the combinations used in your native language. on ▶▶ Your success depends of your effort. ^ Check an ESL dictionary for combinations that are not listed in the chart on page 290. 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 289 7/26/11 10:08 AM ESL 290 31d Prepositions and idiomatic expressions Adjective + preposition combinations accustomed to connected to guilty of preferable to addicted to covered with interested in proud of afraid of dedicated to involved in responsible angry with devoted to involved with   for ashamed of different from known as satisfied with aware of engaged in known for scared of committed to engaged to made of (or similar to concerned excited about   made from) tired of   about familiar with married to worried concerned with full of opposed to   about Verb + preposition combinations agree with compare with forget about speak to (or apply to concentrate on happen to   speak with) approve of consist of hope for stare at arrive at count on insist on succeed at arrive in decide on listen to succeed in ask for depend on participate in take advantage of believe in differ from rely on take care of belong to disagree with reply to think about care about dream about respond to think of care for dream of result in wait for compare to feel like search for wait on 08_7813_Part3_251-290.indd 290 7/26/11 10:08 AM Punctuation Mechanics Grammar Basics Document Design Punct | Mech | Basics | Design 09_7813_Tab4_T4a-T4b.indd 1 7/7/11 4:56 PM Punctuation,  291 Grammar Basics,  367 2 The comma, 292 3 6 Parts of speech, 368 4 33 Unnecessary commas, 47 Sentence patterns, 381 308 48 Subordinate word groups, 4 3 The semicolon, 314 389 35 The colon, 319 49 Sentence types, 398 36 The apostrophe, 321 37 Quotation marks, 326 Document Design  401 38 End punctuation, 333 50 Principles of document 39 Other punctuation marks, design, 402 335 51 Academic formatting, 409 Mechanics,  341 52 Business formatting, 412 0 Abbreviations, 342 4 41 Numbers, 345 42 Italics, 347 43 Spelling, 350 44 The hyphen, 358 45 Capitalization, 362 Pages 291–418 09_7813_Tab4_T4a-T4b.indd 2 7/7/11 4:56 PM Punctuation 32 The comma,  292 33 Unnecessary commas,  308 34 The semicolon,  314 35 The colon,  319 36 The apostrophe,  321 37 Quotation marks,  326 38 End punctuation,  333 39 Other punctuation marks,  335 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 291 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 292 32 The comma 32 The comma The comma was invented to help readers. Without it, sentence parts can collide into one another unexpectedly, causing misreadings. CONFUSING If you cook Elmer will do the dishes. CONFUSING While we were eating a rattlesnake approached our campsite. Add commas in the logical places (after cook and eating), and suddenly all is clear. No longer is Elmer being cooked, the rattlesnake being eaten. Various rules have evolved to prevent such misreadings and to speed readers along through complex grammatical structures. Those rules are detailed in this section. (Section 33 explains when not to use commas.) 32a  Use a comma before a coordinating conjunction  joining independent clauses. When a coordinating conjunction connects two or more in- dependent clauses — word groups that could stand alone as separate sentences — a comma must precede it. There are seven coordinating conjunctions in English: and, but, or, nor, for, so, and yet. A comma tells readers that one independent clause has come to a close and that another is about to begin. ▶▶ Th▶ e▶department▶sponsored▶a▶seminar▶on▶college▶survival skills,▶and▶it▶also▶hosted▶a▶barbecue▶for▶new▶students. ^ EXCEPTION: If the two independent clauses are short and there is no danger of misreading, the comma may be omitted. The plane took off and we were on our way. TIP:As a rule, do not use a comma to separate coordinate word groups that are not independent clauses. (See 33a.) 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 292 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , joining ideas  •  with and, but, etc.  •  introductory words 32b 293 ▶▶ A good money manager controls expenses/, and invests surplus dollars to meet future needs. The word group following and is not an independent clause; it is the second half of a compound predicate (controls . . . and invests). 32b  Use a comma after an introductory clause or phrase. The most common introductory word groups are clauses and phrases functioning as adverbs. Such word groups usually tell when, where, how, why, or under what conditions the main action of the sentence occurred. (See 48a, 48b, and 48e.) A comma tells readers that the introductory clause or phrase has come to a close and that the main part of the sentence is about to begin. ▶▶ When Irwin was ready to iron, his cat tripped on the cord. ^ Without the comma, readers may have Irwin ironing his cat. The comma signals that his cat is the subject of a new clause, not part of the introductory one. ▶▶ Near a small stream at the bottom of the canyon, the park ^ rangers discovered an abandoned mine. The comma tells readers that the introductory prepositional phrase has come to a close. EXCEPTION:  The comma may be omitted after a short adverb clause or phrase if there is no danger of misreading. In no time we were at 2,800 feet. Sentences also frequently begin with participial phrases de- scribing the noun or pronoun immediately following them. The comma tells readers that they are about to learn the identity of the person or thing described; therefore, the comma is usually required even when the phrase is short. (See 48b.) ▶▶ Thinking his motorcade drive through Dallas was routine, ^ President Kennedy smiled and waved at the crowds. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 293 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 294 32b The comma ▶▶ Buried under layers of younger rocks , the earth’s oldest rocks ^ contain no fossils. NOTE:  Other introductory word groups include transitional expressions and absolute phrases (see 32f). EXERCISE 32–1  Add or delete commas where necessary in the follow- ing sentences. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Because we had been saving molding for a few weeks , we had ^ enough wood to frame all thirty paintings. a. Alisa brought the injured bird home, and fashioned a splint out of Popsicle sticks for its wing. b. Considered a classic of early animation The Adventures of Prince Achmed used hand-cut silhouettes against colored backgrounds. c. If you complete the evaluation form and return it within two weeks you will receive a free breakfast during your next stay. d. After retiring from the New York City Ballet in 1965, legendary dancer Maria Tallchief went on to found the Chicago City Ballet. e. Roger had always wanted a handmade violin but he couldn’t afford one. 1. While I was driving a huge delivery truck ran through a red light. 2. He pushed the car beyond the tollgate, and poured a bucket of water on the smoking hood. 3. Lit by bright halogen lamps hundreds of origami birds sparkled like diamonds in sunlight. 4. As the first chord sounded, Aileen knew that her spirits were about to rise. 5. Many musicians of Bach’s time played several instruments but few mastered them as early or played with as much expression as Bach. EXERCISE 32–2  Add or delete commas where necessary in the follow- ing sentences. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: The car had been sitting idle for a month , so the battery was ^ completely dead. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Punctuation >  32–8 to 32–10 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 294 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , series (oranges, lemons, and limes) 32c 295 a. J. R. R. Tolkien finished writing his draft of The Lord of the Rings trilogy in 1949 but the first book in the series wasn’t published until 1954. b. In the first two minutes of its ascent the space shuttle had broken the sound barrier and reached a height of over twenty-five miles. c. German shepherds can be gentle guide dogs or they can be fierce attack dogs. d. Some former professional cyclists claim that the use of performance- enhancing drugs is widespread in cycling and they argue that no rider can be competitive without doping. e. As an intern, I learned most aspects of the broadcasting industry but I never learned about fundraising. 1. To be considered for the position candidates must demonstrate initiative and strong communication skills. 2. The cinematic lighting effect known as chiaroscuro was first used in German Expressionist filmmaking, and was later seen in American film noir. 3. Reptiles are cold-blooded and they are covered with scales. 4. Using a variety of techniques, advertisers grab the audience’s attention and imprint their messages onto consumers’ minds. 5. By the end of the first quarter the operating budget will be available online. 32c  Use a comma between all items in a series. When three or more items are presented in a series, those items should be separated from one another with commas. Items in a series may be single words, phrases, or clauses. ▶▶ Langston Hughes’s poetry is concerned with racial pride, social justice, and the diversity of the African American ^ experience. ▶▶ Bubbles of air, leaves, ferns, bits of wood, and insects are ^ often found trapped in amber. Although some writers view the comma between the last two items as optional, most experts advise using the comma because its omission can result in ambiguity or misreading. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 295 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 296 32d The comma ▶▶ My uncle willed me all of his property, houses , and boats. ^ Did the uncle will his property and houses and boats — or simply his property, consisting of houses and boats? If the former meaning is intended, a comma is necessary to prevent ambiguity. ▶▶ The activities include touring the White House, visiting the Air and Space Museum, attending a lecture about the Founding Fathers, and kayaking on the Potomac River. ^ Without the comma, the activities might seem to include a lecture about kayaking, not participating in kayaking. The comma makes it clear that kayaking on the Potomac River is a separate item in the series. 32d  Use a comma between coordinate adjectives not joined with and. Do not use a comma between cumulative adjectives. When two or more adjectives each modify a noun separately, they are coordinate. Roberto is a warm, gentle, affectionate father. If the adjectives can be joined with and, the adjectives are coordinate, so you should use commas: warm and gentle and affectionate (warm, gentle, affectionate). Adjectives that do not modify the noun separately are cumulative. Three large gray shapes moved slowly toward us. Beginning with the adjective closest to the noun shapes, these modifiers lean on one another, piggyback style, with each modify- ing a larger word group. Gray modifies shapes, large modifies gray shapes, and three modifies large gray shapes. Cumulative adjectives cannot be joined with and (not three and large and gray shapes). COORDINATE ADJECTIVES ▶▶ Should patients with severe , irreversible brain damage be put ^ on life support systems? Adjectives are coordinate if they can be connected with and: severe and irreversible. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 296 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , between adjectives 32d 297 CUMULATIVE ADJECTIVES ▶▶ Ira ordered a rich/, chocolate/, layer cake. Ira didn’t order a cake that was rich and chocolate and layer: He ordered a layer cake that was chocolate, a chocolate layer cake that was rich. EXERCISE 32–3  Add or delete commas where necessary in the follow- ing sentences. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: We gathered our essentials, took off for the great outdoors , ^ and ignored the fact that it was Friday the 13th. a. The cold impersonal atmosphere of the university was unbearable. b. An ambulance threaded its way through police cars, fire trucks and irate citizens. c. The 1812 Overture is a stirring, magnificent piece of music. d. After two broken arms, three cracked ribs and one concussion, Ken quit the varsity football team. e. My cat’s pupils had constricted to small black shining slits. 1. We prefer our staff to be orderly, prompt and efficient. 2. For breakfast the children ordered cornflakes, English muffins with peanut butter and cherry Cokes. 3. It was a small, unimportant part, but I was happy to have it. 4. Cyril was clad in a luminous orange rain suit and a brilliant white helmet. 5. Animation master Hironobu Sakaguchi makes computer-generated scenes look realistic, vivid and seductive. EXERCISE 32–4  Add or delete commas where necessary in the follow- ing sentences. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Good social workers excel in patience, diplomacy , and ^ positive thinking. a. NASA’s rovers on Mars are equipped with special cameras that can take close-up high-resolution pictures of the terrain. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Punctuation >  32–8 to 32–10 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 297 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 298 32e The comma b. A baseball player achieves the triple crown by having the highest batting average, the most home runs, and the most runs batted in during the regular season. c. If it does not get enough sunlight, a healthy green lawn can turn into a shriveled brown mess within a matter of days. d. Love, vengeance, greed and betrayal are common themes in Western literature. e. Many experts believe that shark attacks on surfers are a result of the sharks’ mistaking surfboards for small, injured seals. 1. In Sherman’s march to the sea, the Union army set fire to all crops, killed all livestock and destroyed all roads and bridges in its path. 2. Milk that comes from grass-fed steroid-free cows has been gaining market share. 3. The film makes three main points about global warming: It is real, it is the result of human activity, and it should not be ignored. 4. The three, handmade, turquoise bracelets brought in the most money at the charity auction. 5. Matisse is well known for vibrant colorful prints that have been reproduced extensively on greeting cards and posters. 32e  Use commas to set off nonrestrictive (nonessential) elements. Do not use commas   to set off restrictive (essential) elements. Certain word groups that modify nouns or pronouns can be re- strictive or nonrestrictive — that is, essential or not essential to the meaning of a sentence. These word groups are usually adjective clauses, adjective phrases, or appositives. Restrictive elements A restrictive element defines or limits the meaning of the word it modifies; it is therefore essential to the meaning of the sentence and is not set off with commas. If you remove a restrictive modi- fier from a sentence, the meaning changes significantly, becom- ing more general than you intended. RESTRICTIVE (NO COMMAS) The campers need clothes that are durable. Scientists who study the earth’s structure are called geologists. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 298 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , with modifiers (descriptive word groups)  •  with which and that  •  essential and nonessential modifiers 32e 299 The first sentence does not mean that the campers need clothes in general. The intended meaning is more limited: The campers need durable clothes. The second sentence does not mean that scientists in general are called geologists; only those scientists who specifically study the earth’s structure are called geologists. The italicized word groups are essential and are therefore not set off with commas. Nonrestrictive elements A nonrestrictive modifier describes a noun or pronoun whose meaning has already been clearly defined or limited. Because the modifier contains nonessential or parenthetical information, it is set off with commas. If you remove a nonrestrictive element from a sentence, the meaning does not change dramatically. Some meaning may be lost, but the defining characteristics of the per- son or thing described remain the same. NONRESTRICTIVE (WITH COMMAS) The campers need sturdy shoes, which are expensive. The scientists, who represented eight different universities, met to review applications for the prestigious O’Hara Award. In the first sentence, the campers need sturdy shoes, and the shoes happen to be expensive. In the second sentence, the scien- tists met to review applications for the O’Hara Award; that they represented eight different universities is informative but not critical to the meaning of the sentence. The nonessential infor- mation in both sentences is set off with commas. NOTE:  Often it is difficult to tell whether a word group is r­ estrictive or nonrestrictive without seeing it in context and ­considering the writer’s meaning. Both of the following sen- tences are grammatically correct, but their meaning is slightly different. The dessert made with fresh raspberries was delicious. The dessert, made with fresh raspberries, was delicious. In the first example, the phrase made with fresh raspberries tells readers which of two or more desserts the writer is referring to. In the example with commas, the phrase merely adds informa- tion about the dessert. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 299 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 300 32e The comma Adjective clauses Adjective clauses are patterned like sentences, containing sub- jects and verbs, but they function within sentences as modifiers of nouns or pronouns. They always follow the word they modify, usually immediately. Adjective clauses begin with a relative pro- noun (who, whom, whose, which, that) or with a relative adverb (where, when). Nonrestrictive adjective clauses are set off with commas; re- strictive adjective clauses are not. NONRESTRICTIVE CLAUSE (with commas) ▶▶ Ed’s house , which is located on thirteen acres , was completely ^ ^ furnished with bats in the rafters and mice in the kitchen. The adjective clause which is located on thirteen acres does not restrict the meaning of Ed’s house; the information is nonessential and is therefore enclosed in commas. RESTRICTIVE CLAUSE (no commas) ▶▶ The giant panda/, that was born at the San Diego Zoo in 2003/, was sent to China in 2007. Because the adjective clause that was born at the San Diego Zoo in 2003 identifies one particular panda out of many, the information is essential and is therefore not enclosed in commas. NOTE:  Use that only with restrictive (essential) clauses. Many writers prefer to use which only with nonrestrictive (nonessential) clauses, but usage varies. Adjective phrases Prepositional or verbal phrases functioning as adjectives may be restrictive or nonrestrictive. Nonrestrictive phrases are set off with commas; restrictive phrases are not. NONRESTRICTIVE PHRASE (with commas) ▶▶ The helicopter , with its million-candlepower spotlight ^ illuminating the area , circled above. ^ 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 300 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , with modifiers (descriptive word groups)  •  with word groups that rename 32e 301 The with phrase is nonessential because its purpose is not to specify which of two or more helicopters is being discussed. The phrase is not required for readers to understand the meaning of the sentence. RESTRICTIVE PHRASE (No commas) ▶▶ One corner of the attic was filled with newspapers/, dating from the early 1900s. Dating from the early 1900s restricts the meaning of newspapers, so the comma should be omitted. ▶▶ The bill/, proposed by the Illinois representative/, would lower taxes and provide services for middle-income families. Proposed by the Illinois representative identifies exactly which bill is meant. Appositives An appositive is a noun or noun phrase that renames a nearby noun. Nonrestrictive appositives are set off with commas; re- strictive appositives are not. NONRESTRICTIVE APPOSITIVE (with commas) ▶▶ Darwin’s most important book , On the Origin of Species , ^ ^ was the result of many years of research. Most important restricts the meaning to one book, so the appositive On the Origin of Species is nonrestrictive and should be set off with commas. RESTRICTIVE APPOSITIVE (no commas) ▶▶ The song/,  “Viva la Vida/, ” was blasted out of huge amplifiers at the concert. Once they’ve read song, readers still don’t know precisely which song the writer means. The appositive following song restricts its meaning, so the appositive should not be enclosed in commas. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 301 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 302 32f The comma EXERCISE 32–5  Add or delete commas where necessary in the follow- ing sentences. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: My sister , who plays center on the Sparks , now lives at ^ ^ The Sands , a beach house near Los Angeles. ^ a. Choreographer Alvin Ailey’s best-known work Revelations is more than just a crowd-pleaser. b. Twyla Tharp’s contemporary ballet Push Comes to Shove was made famous by the Russian dancer Baryshnikov. [Tharp has written more than one contemporary ballet.] c. The glass sculptor sifting through hot red sand explained her technique to the other glassmakers. [There is more than one glass sculptor.] d. A member of an organization, that provides job training for teens, was also appointed to the education commission. e. Brian Eno who began his career as a rock musician turned to meditative compositions in the late 1970s. 1. I had the pleasure of talking to a woman who had just returned from India where she had lived for ten years. 2. Patrick’s oldest sister Fiona graduated from MIT with a degree in aerospace engineering. 3. The artist painting a portrait of Aung San Suu Kyi, the Burmese civil rights leader, was once a political prisoner himself. 4. Jumanji, the 1982 Caldecott Medal winner, is my nephew’s favorite book. 5. The flame crawled up a few blades of grass to reach a low-hanging palmetto branch which quickly ignited. 32f  Use commas to set off transitional and ­ parenthetical expressions, absolute phrases,   and word groups expressing contrast. Transitional expressions Transitional expressions serve as bridges between sentences or parts of sentences. They include conjunctive adverbs such as however, therefore, and moreover and transitional phrases such as PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Punctuation >  32–8 to 32–10 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 302 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , with however, therefore  •  with interruptions  •  with parenthetical expressions 32f 303 for example, as a matter of fact, and in other words. (For complete lists of these expressions, see 34b.) When a transitional expression appears between indepen- dent clauses in a compound sentence, it is preceded by a semi­ colon and is usually followed by a comma. (See 34b.) ▶▶ Minh did not understand our language; moreover , he was ^ unfamiliar with our customs. When a transitional expression appears at the beginning of a sentence or in the middle of an independent clause, it is usually set off with commas. ▶▶ As a matter of fact , American football was established in the ^ mid-nineteenth century by fans who wanted to play a more organized game of rugby. ▶▶ Natural foods are not always salt free; celery , for example , ^ ^ contains more sodium than most people would imagine. EXCEPTION:  If a transitional expression blends smoothly with the rest of the sentence, calling for little or no pause in reading, it does not need to be set off with a comma. Expressions such as also, at least, certainly, consequently, indeed, of course, moreover, no doubt, perhaps, then, and therefore do not always call for a pause. Alice’s bicycle is broken; therefore you will need to borrow Sue’s. Parenthetical expressions Expressions that are distinctly parenthetical, providing only supplemental information, should be set off with commas. They interrupt the flow of a sentence or appear at the end as afterthoughts. ▶▶ Evolution , as far as we know , doesn’t work this way. ^ ^ ▶▶ The bass weighed about twelve pounds , give or take a few ^ ounces. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 303 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 304 32g The comma Absolute phrases An absolute phrase, which modifies the whole sentence, usually consists of a noun followed by a participle or participial phrase. (See 48d.) Absolute phrases may appear at the beginning or at the end of a sentence. Wherever they appear, they should be set off with commas. ABSOLUTE PHRASE N PARTICIPLE The sun appearing for the first time in a week, we were at last able to begin the archaeological dig. ▶▶ Elvis Presley made music industry history in the 1950s , his ^ records having sold more than ten million copies. note:  Do not insert a comma between the noun and the parti- ciple in an absolute construction. ▶▶ The next contestant/, being five years old, the host adjusted the height of the microphone. Word groups expressing contrast Sharp contrasts beginning with words such as not, never, and unlike are set off with commas. ▶▶ The Epicurean philosophers sought mental , not bodily, ^ ^ pleasures. ▶▶ Unlike Robert, Celia loved dance contests. ^ 32g  Use commas to set off nouns of direct address, the words yes and no, interrogative tags, and mild interjections. ▶▶ Forgive me , Angela , for forgetting your birthday. ^ ^ ▶▶ Yes , the loan will probably be approved. ^ 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 304 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , with absolute phrases  •  with not, never, unlike  •  with he said  •  with yes and no  •  with dates 32i 305 ad ▶▶ The film was faithful to the book , wasn’t it? ^ ▶▶ Well , cases like these are difficult to decide. ^ 32h  Use commas with expressions such as he said to set off direct quotations. (See also 37e.) ▶▶ In his “Letter from Birmingham Jail,” Martin Luther King Jr. wrote , “We know through painful experience that freedom ^ is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed” (225). ▶▶ “Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance ,” says ^ Charlotte Lucas in Pride and Prejudice, a novel that ends with two happy marriages (ch. 6; 69). See 37 on the use of quotation marks and pages 489–90 on citing literary sources in MLA style. 32i  Use commas with dates, addresses, titles, and numbers. Dates In dates, the year is set off from the rest of the sentence with a pair of commas. ▶▶ On December 12 , 1890 , orders were sent out for the arrest of ^ ^ Sitting Bull. EXCEPTIONS: Commas are not needed if the date is inverted or if only the month and year are given. The security alert system went into effect on 15 April 2009. January 2008 was an extremely cold month. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 305 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , 306 32j The comma Addresses The elements of an address or a place name are separated with commas. A zip code, however, is not preceded by a comma. ▶▶ John Lennon was born in Liverpool , England , in 1940. ^ ^ ▶▶ Please send the package to Greg Tarvin at 708 Spring Street , ^ Washington , IL 61571. ^ Titles If a title follows a name, separate the title from the rest of the sentence with a pair of commas. ▶▶ Ann Hall , MD , has been appointed to the board of trustees. ^ ^ Numbers In numbers more than four digits long, use commas to separate the numbers into groups of three, starting from the right. In numbers four digits long, a comma is optional. 3,500 [or 3500] 100,000 5,000,000 EXCEPTIONS: Do not use commas in street numbers, zip codes, telephone numbers, or years with four or fewer digits. 32j  Use a comma to prevent confusion. In certain situations, a comma is necessary to prevent confusion. If the writer has intentionally left out a word or phrase, for ex- ample, a comma may be needed to signal the omission. ▶▶ To err is human; to forgive , divine. ^ If two words in a row echo each other, a comma may be needed for ease of reading. ▶▶ The catastrophe that we had feared might happen , happened. ^ 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 306 7/26/11 10:08 AM ^ , with addresses  •  with titles  •  with numbers  •  to prevent confusion 32j 307 Sometimes a comma is needed to prevent readers from grouping words in ways that do not match the writer’s intention. ▶▶ Patients who can , walk up and down the halls every day. ^ EXERCISE 32–6  This exercise covers the major uses of the comma de- scribed in 32a–32e. Add or delete commas where necessary. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Even though our brains actually can’t focus on two tasks at a time , many people believe they can multitask. ^ a. Cricket which originated in England is also popular in Australia, South Africa and India. b. At the sound of the starting pistol the horses surged forward ­ toward the first obstacle, a sharp incline three feet high. c. After seeing an exhibition of Western art Gerhard Richter escaped from East Berlin, and smuggled out many of his notebooks. d. Corrie’s new wet suit has an intricate, blue pattern. e. The cookies will keep for two weeks in sturdy airtight containers.   1. Research on Andean condors has shown that high levels of the pesticide chlorinated hydrocarbon can cause the thinning of eggshells.   2. Founded in 1868 Hampton University was one of the first colleges for African Americans.   3. Aunt Emilia was an impossible demanding guest.   4. The Mirage, a high-tech fighter, is an astonishing machine to fly.   5. At the bottom of the ship’s rusty hold sat several, well-preserved trunks, reminders of a bygone era of sea travel. EXERCISE 32–7  This exercise covers all uses of the comma. Add or delete commas where necessary in the following sentences. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: “Yes , dear, you can have dessert,” my mother said. ^ a. On January 15, 2008 our office moved to 29 Commonwealth Avenue, Mechanicsville VA 23111. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Punctuation  >  32–8 to 32–10 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 307 7/26/11 10:08 AM no , 308 33 Unnecessary commas b. The coach having bawled us out thoroughly, we left the locker room with his harsh words ringing in our ears. c. Ms. Carlson you are a valued customer whose satisfaction is very important to us. d. Mr. Mundy was born on July 22, 1939 in Arkansas, where his family had lived for four generations. e. Her board poised at the edge of the half-pipe, Nina waited her turn to drop in. 1. President Lincoln’s original intention was to save the Union, not to destroy slavery. 2. For centuries people believed that Greek culture had developed in isolation from the world. Today however scholars are acknowledging the contributions made by Egypt and the Middle East. 3. Putting together a successful fundraiser, Patricia discovered, requires creativity and good timing. 4. Fortunately science is creating many alternatives to research performed on animals. 5. While the machine was printing the oversize paper jammed the input tray. 33 Unnecessary commas Many common misuses of the comma result from a misunder- standing of the major comma rules presented in 32. 33a  Do not use a comma between compound  elements that are not independent clauses. Though a comma should be used before a coordinating conjunc- tion joining independent clauses (see 32a), this rule should not be extended to other compound word groups. ▶▶ Marie▶Curie▶discovered▶radium/,▶and▶later▶applied▶her▶work▶on radioactivity▶to▶medicine. And links two verbs in a compound predicate: discovered and applied. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 308 7/26/11 10:08 AM no , for compound word groups  •  no comma to separate verb from subject or object  •  before or after a series 33c 309 ▶▶ Jake told us that his illness is serious/,  but that changes in his lifestyle can improve his chances for survival. The coordinating conjunction but links two subordinate clauses, each beginning with that : that his illness is serious and that changes in his lifestyle. . . . 33b  Do not use a comma to separate a verb from its subject or object. A sentence should flow from subject to verb to object without unnecessary pauses. Commas may appear between these major sentence elements only when a specific rule calls for them. ▶▶ Zoos large enough to give the animals freedom to roam/, are becoming more popular. The comma should not separate the subject, Zoos, from the verb, are becoming. ▶▶ Maxine Hong Kingston writes/, that many Chinese American families struggle “to figure out how the invisible world the emigrants built around our childhoods fits in solid America” (107). The comma should not separate the verb, writes, from its object, the subordinate clause beginning with that. A signal phrase ending in a word like writes or says is followed by a comma only when a direct quotation immediately follows: Kingston writes, “Those of us in the first American generations have had to figure out how the invisible world . . .” (107). (See also 37e.) 33c  Do not use a comma before the first or after the last item in a series. Though commas are required between items in a series (32c), do not place them either before or after the whole series. ▶▶ Other causes of asthmatic attacks are/, stress, change in temperature, and cold air. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 309 7/26/11 10:08 AM no , 310 33d Unnecessary commas ▶▶ Ironically, even novels that focus on horror, evil, and alienation/, often have themes of spiritual renewal and redemption as well. 33d  Do not use a comma between cumulative adjectives, between an adjective and a noun,   or between an adverb and an adjective. Commas are required between coordinate adjectives (those that can be joined with and  ), but they do not belong between cumula- tive adjectives (those that cannot be joined with and  ). (For a full discussion, see 32d.) ▶▶ In the corner of the closet, we found an old/, maroon hatbox. A comma should never be used between an adjective and the noun that follows it. ▶▶ It was a senseless, dangerous/, mission. Nor should a comma be used between an adverb and an ad- jective that follows it. ▶▶ The Hillside is a good home for severely,/disturbed youths. 33e  Do not use commas to set off restrictive or mildly parenthetical elements. Restrictive elements are modifiers or appositives that restrict the meaning of the nouns they follow. Because they are essential to the meaning of the sentence, they are not set off with commas. (For a full discussion of restrictive and nonrestrictive elements, see 32e.) ▶▶ Drivers/, who think they own the road/, make cycling a dangerous sport. The modifier who think they own the road restricts the meaning of Drivers and is essential to the meaning of the sentence. Putting 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 310 7/26/11 10:08 AM no , between certain adjectives  •  between adjectives and other words  •  with essential word groups 33f 311 commas around the who clause falsely suggests that all drivers think they own the road. ▶▶ Margaret Mead’s book/, Coming of Age in Samoa/, stirred up considerable controversy when it was published in 1928. Since Mead wrote more than one book, the appositive contains information essential to the meaning of the sentence. Although commas should be used with distinctly paren- thetical expressions (see 32f ), do not use them to set off elements that are only mildly parenthetical. ▶▶ Texting has/, essentially/, replaced e-mail for casual communication. 33f  Do not use a comma to set off a concluding adverb clause that is essential to the meaning of the sentence. When adverb clauses introduce a sentence, they are nearly always followed by a comma (see 32b). When they conclude a sentence, however, they are not set off by commas if their content is es- sential to the meaning of the earlier part of the sentence. Adverb clauses beginning with after, as soon as, because, before, if, since, unless, until, and when are usually essential. ▶▶ Don’t visit Paris at the height of the tourist season/, unless you have booked hotel reservations. Without the unless clause, the meaning of the sentence might at first seem broader than the writer intended. When a concluding adverb clause is nonessential, it should be preceded by a comma. Clauses beginning with although, even though, though, and whereas are usually nonessential. ▶▶ The lecture seemed to last only a short time , although the ^ clock said it had gone on for more than an hour. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 311 7/26/11 10:08 AM no , 312 33g Unnecessary commas 33g  Do not use a comma after a phrase that begins an inverted sentence. Though a comma belongs after most introductory phrases (see 32b), it does not belong after phrases that begin an inverted sentence. In an inverted sentence, the subject follows the verb, and a phrase that ordinarily would follow the verb is moved to the beginning (see 47c). ▶▶ At the bottom of the hill/, sat the stubborn mule. 33h  Avoid other common misuses of the comma. Do not use a comma in the following situations. AFTER A COOrDINATING CONJUNCTION (AND, BUT, OR, NOR, FOR, SO, YET    ) ▶▶ Occasionally TV talk shows are performed live, but/, more often they are taped. AFTER SUCH AS OR LIKE ▶▶ Shade-loving plants such as/,  begonias, impatiens, and coleus can add color to a shady garden. BEFORE THAN ▶▶ Touring Crete was more thrilling for us,/than visiting the Greek islands frequented by the rich. AFTER ALTHOUGH ▶▶ Although/, the air was balmy, the water was too cold for swimming. BEFORE A PARENTHESIS ▶▶ At InterComm, Sylvia began at the bottom/, (with only three and a half walls and a swivel chair), but within three years she had been promoted to supervisor. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 312 7/26/11 10:08 AM no , for inverted sentences  •  other misuses 33h 313 TO SET OFF AN INDIRECT (REPORTED) QUOTATION ▶▶ Samuel Goldwyn once said/, that a verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. WITH A QUESTION MARK OR AN EXCLAMATION POINT ▶▶ “Why don’t you try it?/, ” she coaxed. “You can’t do any worse than the rest of us.” EXERCISE 33–1  Delete any unnecessary commas in the following sentences. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: In his Silk Road Project, Yo-Yo Ma incorporates work by musicians such as/,  Kayhan Kahlor and Richard Danielpour. a. After the morning rains cease, the swimmers emerge from their cottages. b. Tricia’s first artwork was a bright, blue, clay dolphin. c. Some modern musicians, (trumpeter John Hassell is an ex- ample) blend several cultural traditions into a unique sound. d. Myra liked hot, spicy foods such as, chili, kung pao chicken, and buffalo wings. e. On the display screen, was a soothing pattern of light and shadow. 1. Mesquite, the hardest of the softwoods, grows primarily in the Southwest. 2. Jolie’s parents encouraged independent thinking, but required respect for others’ opinions. 3. The border guards told their sergeant, that their heat-sensing equipment was malfunctioning. 4. The streets that three hours later would be bumper to bumper with commuters, were quiet and empty except for a few prowling cats. 5. Some first-year architecture students, expect to design intricate structures immediately. PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Punctuation >  33–3 and 33–4 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 313 7/26/11 10:08 AM ; 314 34 The semicolon EXERCISE 33–2 Delete unnecessary commas in the following passage. Each spring since 1970, New Orleans has hosted the Jazz and Heritage Festival, an event that celebrates the music, food, and culture, of the region. Although, it is often referred to as “Jazz Fest,” the festival typically includes a wide variety of musical styles such as, gospel, Cajun, blues, zydeco, and, rock and roll. Famous musicians who have appeared regularly at Jazz Fest, include Dr. John, B. B. King, and Aretha Franklin. Large stages are set up throughout the fairgrounds in a way, that allows up to ten bands to play simultaneously without any sound overlap. Food tents are located throughout the festival, and offer popular, local dishes like crawfish Monica, jambalaya, and fried, green tomatoes. In 2009, New Orleans held its fortieth annual Jazz Fest. Fans, who could not attend the festival, still enjoyed the music by downloading MP3 files, and watching performances online. 34 The semicolon The semicolon is used to connect major sentence elements of equal grammatical rank. 34a  Use a semicolon between closely related  independent clauses not joined with a coordinating  conjunction. When two independent clauses appear in one sentence, they are usually linked with a comma and a coordinating conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, so, yet). The coordinating conjunction sig- nals the relation between the clauses. If the clauses are closely related and the relation is clear without a conjunction, they may be linked with a semicolon instead. In film, a low-angle shot makes the subject look powerful; a high- angle shot does just the opposite. A semicolon must be used whenever a coordinating con- junction has been omitted between independent clauses. To use merely a comma creates a type of run-on sentence known as a comma splice. (See 20.) ▶▶ In▶1800,▶a▶traveler▶needed▶six▶weeks▶to▶get▶from▶New▶York▶City to▶Chicago/, ;▶in▶1860,▶the▶trip▶by▶railroad▶took▶only▶two▶days. ^ 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 314 7/26/11 10:08 AM ; joining closely related ideas  •  with however, therefore 34b 315 34b  Use a semicolon between independent clauses linked with a transitional expression. Transitional expressions include conjunctive adverbs and tran- sitional phrases. CONJUNCTIVE ADVERBS accordingly furthermore moreover still also hence nevertheless subsequently anyway however next then besides incidentally nonetheless therefore certainly indeed now thus consequently instead otherwise conversely likewise similarly finally meanwhile specifically TRANSITIONAL PHRASES after all even so in fact as a matter of fact for example in other words as a result for instance in the first place at any rate in addition on the contrary at the same time in conclusion on the other hand When a transitional expression appears between indepen- dent clauses, it is preceded by a semicolon and usually followed by a comma. ▶▶ Many corals grow very gradually/, ; in fact, the creation of a ^ coral reef can take centuries. When a transitional expression appears in the middle or at the end of the second independent clause, the semicolon goes between the clauses. ▶▶ Biologists have observed laughter in primates other than humans/, ; chimpanzees, however, sound more like they are ^ panting than laughing. Transitional expressions should not be confused with the coordinating conjunctions and, but, or, nor, for, so, and yet, 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 315 7/26/11 10:08 AM ; 316 34c The semicolon which are preceded by a comma when they link independent clauses. (See 32a.) 34c  Use a semicolon between items in a series containing internal punctuation. ▶▶ Classic science fiction sagas are Star Trek, with Mr. Spock/, ; ^ Battlestar Galactica, with its Cylons/, ; and Star Wars, with ^ Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Darth Vader. Without the semicolons, the reader would have to sort out the major groupings, distinguishing between important and less important pauses according to the logic of the sentence. By inserting semicolons at the major breaks, the writer does this work for the reader. 34d  Avoid common misuses of the semicolon. Do not use a semicolon in the following situations. BETWEEN A SUBORDINATE CLAUSE AND THE REST OF THE SENTENCE ▶▶ Although children’s literature was added to the National Book Awards in 1969/; , it has had its own award, the Newbery ^ Medal, since 1922. BETWEEN AN APPOSITIVE AND THE WORD IT REFERS TO ▶▶ The scientists were fascinated by the species Argyroneta aquatica/; , a spider that lives underwater. ^ TO INTRODUCE A LIST ▶▶ Some of my favorite celebrities have their own blogs/; : ^ Ashton Kutcher, Rosie O’Donnell, and Zach Braff. 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 316 7/26/11 10:08 AM ; with commas  •  misuses 34d 317 BETWEEN INDEPENDENT CLAUSES JOINED BY AND, BUT, OR, NOR, FOR, SO, OR YET ▶▶ Five of the applicants had worked with spreadsheets/; , but ^ only one was familiar with database management. EXCEPTIONS:  If at least one of the independent clauses contains internal punctuation, you may use a semicolon even though the clauses are joined with a coordinating conjunction. As a vehicle [the model T] was hard-working, commonplace, and heroic; and it often seemed to transmit those qualities to the person who rode in it. — E. B. White Although a comma would also be correct in this sentence, the semicolon is more effective, for it indicates the relative weights of the pauses. Occasionally, a semicolon may be used to emphasize a sharp contrast or a firm distinction between clauses joined with a coor- dinating conjunction. We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them. — Charles Caleb Colton EXERCISE 34–1  Add commas or semicolons where needed in the following well-known quotations. If a sentence is correct, write “cor- rect” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: If an animal does something , we call it instinct ; if we do ^ ^ the same thing , we call it intelligence. — Will Cuppy ^ a. Do not ask me to be kind just ask me to act as though I were.  — Jules Renard b. When men talk about defense they always claim to be protect- ing women and children but they never ask the women and children what they think. — Pat Schroeder c. When I get a little money I buy books if any is left I buy food and clothes. — Desiderius Erasmus d. America is a country that doesn’t know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there.  — Lawrence J. Peter PRACTICE  hackerhandbooks.com/rules >  Punctuation >  34–3 and 34–4 10_7813_Part4_291-340.indd 317 7/26/11 10:08 AM ; 318 34d The semicolon e. Wit has truth in it wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.  — Dorothy Parker 1. Standing in the middle of the road is very dangerous you get knocked down by the traffic from both sides.  — Margaret Thatcher 2. I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear. — Woody Allen 3. Once the children were in the house the air became more vivid and more heated every object in the house grew more alive.  — Mary Gordon 4. We don’t know what we want but we are ready to bite someone to get it. — Will Rogers 5. I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor rich is better. — Sophie Tucker EXERCISE 34–2  Edit the following sentences to correct errors in the use of the comma and the semicolon. If a sentence is correct, write “correct” after it. Answers to lettered sentences appear in the back of the book. Example: Love is blind ; envy has its eyes wide open. ^ a. Strong black coffee will not sober you up, the truth is that time is the only way to get alcohol out of your system. b. Margaret was not