Savage Movie Posters That Didn't Have To Go So Hard

What it's selling: This poster does a great job explaining what this movie will entail: a massive great white shark eating its favorite meal of attractive women for breakfast. That's pretty much it. Shark kills people. People try to kill shark.

Why it goes hard: In case you missed it, Jaws is terrifyingly terrifying. As far as horror posters go, the simplicity of this one is actually artful. We have the massive great white slinking up from the depths of the ocean, setting its sights on an oblivious woman… who looks naked? Yes, it is perfectly necessary to sexualize a horror victim who's about to get eaten by a shark. Although it is cool that the “Jaws” title looms over the woman almost like a set of teeth. 

What it's selling: Bruce Campbell stars as Ash, a modern chainsaw-wielding shirtless dude tasked with preventing a damsel from reanimated corpses in medieval times (no, not the restaurant). Who would have guessed that a book called the Necronomicon would have the power of necromancy?

Why it goes hard: There is so much going on here. On some level, the grisly illustrations are effective in summarizing the plot better than most posters. But you don't know where to look. Between the tiny guys poking Ash with a large fork(??), the army of the dead, the looming castle, the damsel, and the encroaching skeletons, you could look at the poster for five minutes and still notice more details.

On some level, that's not a terrible tactic to force people to stare at the chaotic poster for an extended amount of time. But most people only glance at movie posters that are advertised when they're out and about - especially in the pre-smartphone era of the '90s when the movie debuted. While the goal is to get people to look, it might do the opposite.  

What it's selling: Well, given that his name is bigger than the movie title, the film is selling Arnold Schwarzenegger (and his buff bod). Since it's an action film, the studio wanted to include a short synopsis for anyone who isn't enticed by Schwarzenegger's shaved chest. Schwarzenegger stars as the Terminator, who's sent back in time to prevent the birth of a child who will grow up to lead a revolution.

Why it goes hard: An almost shirtless Arnold Schwarzenegger oozes cool while he wields a gun and serves blue steel. While this kind of “you wish you were me” action poster was common in the ‘80s, this one takes it up ten notches. From small details like the lasers in the background and the reflection in his sunglasses, they’re trying a little too hard here. To boot, the long summary is pretty distracting on top of the already busy poster. The most ridiculous aspect is, of course, how big Schwarzenegger's name is. Just kidding. It's his shirtless v-neck leather trench coat. 

What it's selling:  The movie is based on the true story of J. Robert Oppenheimer's work developing the atomic bomb and the aftermath of this deadly creation. In this case, the caption, “The world forever changes” is quite appropriate.

Why it goes hard: One small man stands in the middle of a blazing explosion, unperturbed by his current predicament. The color scheme in this poster is intense (and actually quite beautiful), which distracts you from the fact that it's literally an atomic bomb going off. It almost looks like a sunrise. The pretty aesthetic is so adaptable that people changed the color scheme to pink to create Barbenhemier posters - and it actually worked. 

What it's selling: Based on the intense light/ice-looking head and the swirling snow, if you guessed that this movie's villain is icy in nature, or at least lives somewhere snowy, you'd be right. The Thing is an extraterrestrial organism that chills in Antarctica and can take on the traits of other organisms.

Why it goes hard: As far as horror movie posters go, this just might be the brightest one out there. But it really works. It's incredibly in-your-face with diamond-like rays of light that tell you virtually nothing about the kind of monster the film features - which makes sense given it's simply referred to as “the thing” in the title. Audiences want to know, what thing? What is it? What are its powers? The snowy aesthetic and the lighting are both jarring and aesthetically pleasing, but it's so bright that your eyes don't even know where to look. 

What it's selling: Well, it's selling that Rambo is larger than life and will mess up anyone who stands in his way. This installment of the franchise sees Rambo imprisoned and accepting a mostly passive deal to reclaim his freedom - until vengeance becomes more of a priority.

Why it goes hard: Okay, we get it, Rambo is jacked. And he likes guns. The contrasting night and day aesthetic are physical manifestations of his light and dark side, which is pretty on the nose. But can we talk about the fact that Rambo's guns - and his actual gun - are bigger than the helicopter? For that matter, so is his ammo. We're not even going to talk about the fact that half of his shirt is gone. There's a very fine line between action posters and smutty romance book covers if we're being honest.

What it's selling: Cigarettes? Basically, Manhattan is a prison, and criminal Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) has to help him escape - from New York.

Why it goes hard: What is with all of the action movie posters with alpha males trying to look cool? Clad with an eyepatch, a cigarette, and an “I don’t care” attitude, Kurt Russell lounges against a bunch of ruins with his gun placed in a very… strategic location. Russell is the only part of the poster not in shades of grey, highlighting his strength and intensity. Because he's strong.

What it's selling: Dinosaurs. With big teeth. Jurassic Park is, of course, a movie about greedy people playing god for profit and finding out the meaning of the old adage, “You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes.” Who would have thought that starting a theme park with massive, sentient dinosaurs could go wrong? (Justice for the peaceful long-necks.)

Why it goes hard: It's simple, but it's effective. The T. rex mouth is so magnified that you can literally count the teeth and scales in this big boy. The color contrast against the black intensifies the teeth, and it's honestly pretty intimidating. It is funny, though, that the dino is eating the title of the movie - since chomping down on the humans in Jurassic Park is precisely what happens in the film.

What it's selling: Al Pacino is Scarface, with the same level of importance based on the sizing. Between an assassination and the birth of a drug lord, and drug wars with Colombian cartels, Pacino's Tony has a lot going on - so much so that it's set to destroy him.

Why it goes hard: The poster is the classic illustrated manifestation of light and darkness. Tony is bathed in white, ready to step into the darkness, where his gun is nestled in the black portion of the poster. It's striking and dramatic, but it's also powerful in its own right. No one asked to contemplate the meaning of life with a black-and-white photo. 

What it's selling: Two cops' investigation is heating up - literally. Danny Butterman (Nick Frost) and Nicholas Angel (Simon Pegg) are teaming up in this buddy cop comedy to take down some criminals. Fuzz is typically a negative term for cops, so it seems like this duo's gotten themselves in some hot water.

Why it goes hard: It takes particularly nonchalant people to look this cool as they run away from an explosion - with toothpicks in their mouths no less. In this particular poster, the buddy cop duo are serving their best police cliche with the “sunglasses on, guns out” aesthetic. The fire is quite literally touching them and they remain unfazed, highlighting that they mean business. Yet the demeanor of the officers hints at the comedy element of the movie. Ultimately, it's pretty clear that these guys think pretty highly of themselves, and as a result, people want to know what the fuss (fuzz) is all about.

What it's selling: Hello darkness, Spidey's friend - he's come to you to angst again. Spider-Man 3 didn't exactly impress audiences as much as the original movies. Why? Mostly because emo Peter Parker is a little hard to take seriously. Between his swooping emo haircut and woe-is-me vibe, Peter is taking the personification of his Venom dark side a little too literally. But of course, he's most upset over his relationship drama with MJ. Priorities, right?

Why it goes hard: Is Peter on a mission to win a spot in My Chemical Romance? This particular iteration of a sad superhero angsting in the rain is a little more comical than it is effective. With villains like Venom and Sandman, there were a lot of menacing vibes they could have gone with instead. Yet a sad, black-clad, hunched-over Spider-Man in the cloudy rain won out. Even the rain is falling dramatically. 

What it's selling: All this poster tells us is that Lightning McQueen is either in the middle of crashing or pulling off a particularly epic trick. What it doesn't tell you is that McQueen is facing a new generation of faster cars that threaten his status.

Why it goes hard: First, the dramatic caption: "From this moment, everything will change." This is an animated car movie, chill out. Secondly, the slew of sparks cascading from the overturned mid-flight car is a little much. That being said, it's certainly eye-catching.

What it's selling: Us takes the concept of Coraline and The Vampire Diaries to the next level when it comes to creepy doppelgangers. A family is just trying to mind their own business and enjoy their vacation when some creeps start following them. And oh, by the way, they're carbon copies of the family - that's totally fine, nothing weird happening there at all.

Why it goes hard: As far as movie posters go, this one is truly terrifying. We all wear masks on occasion, but this is a little more insidious than hiding parts of ourselves from the masses. As unsettling as the single crying eye is, the eyeless replica of her face is arguably even creepier. The black backdrop and the striking red shirt highlight the figure, adding more intensity to the mix. 

What it's selling: Big snake. Naturally, the humans in Anaconda are messing with a creature they don't understand in the pursuit of money. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't end well.

Why it goes hard: Before the basilisk in Harry Potter existed, the anaconda was the snake to fear. Only a sliver of the poster is illustrated, but it captures the unease of “a great big pair of yellow eyes” shining in the darkness. In reality, the poster is more intense and menacing than the actual movie, which fails to live up to the poster's gripping fear factor. 

What it's selling: If you go by the energy of the poster, you might think the movie is about a sad skeleton waiting for salvation. However, Evil Dead 2 is the sequel to the original movie - a horror-comedy featuring Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell), who battles demons linked to the Book of the Dead. Fun fact: some believe the skull's eyes belong to Bruce Campbell.

Why it goes hard: No one asked for this melancholic skull with eyeballs to stare into your soul. Are you supposed to be scared of him? Are you supposed to fall in love with him? Who knows, but with the puppy dog eyes, it's giving more “please hug me” vibes than demon energy. The stark contrast of the black only highlights the intensity of this noseless Voldemort-looking skull. What do you want from us, sir?

What it's selling: A very sad Batman waits out in the rain like the emo boy he is. Really, Robert Pattinson's Batman is basically goth-Batman - from his generally sad demeanor right down to the swooping haircut and guyliner. Despite his darker vibes, the song remains the same plotwise: uncover corruption, save lives, identify the villain, the usual. Refreshingly enough, The Batman showcases the Riddler rather than serving us yet another Joker film.

Why it goes hard: Oh Bruce, you overdramatic Bat. The rain and the red backdrop accompanying a very morose-looking Batman are A Lot, but they do a pretty good job of telling us what to expect in the movie. The poster manages to be aesthetically simple while simultaneously evoking a ton of Sad Boy energy. However, if anyone deserves an emo phase, it's the guy who instantly became an orphan after he watched his parents get murdered. It's truly one of the saddest posters out there, which is impressive given how simple it is. And who hasn't cried in the rain?

What it's selling: Like many kids, young Danny escapes the grim realities of the world through movies. Unlike most kids, he gets sucked into the very on-screen worlds he uses for a reprieve, in this meta-action flick starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Why it goes hard: It's meta madness. Way too much is going on here, with an onlooking audience taking in the characters that seem to be jumping off the screen and into the real world. The poster features multiple genres like fantasy, dinosaurs, and animation. Like many action posters that came before, the duo is fleeing from an explosion. Sure, the poster tells the complete plot of the movie, but that's the problem. It's a jumbled mess of iconography that confuses the eye. 

What it's selling: What happens when you mess around with a radioactive dinosaur? You find out. Godzilla vs. Destoroyah is the beastly matchup between Godzilla and a bunch of creatures made with his own cells. Enter mayhem here.

Why it goes hard: If you feel like you're tripping when you look at this poster, you're not alone. As per usual, we have an explosion backdrop paired with an aircraft. But then we have not one but three monstrous figures lined up like they're taking a corny family photo. The biggest mistake of this poster is the color scheme, though. The explosion matches the colors of two of the monsters and the cityscape takes on the same black hues as the first beast, making the illustration nearly impossible to decipher and culminating into one mishmash blob of a messy poster. 

What it's selling: Shrek tells the tale of the unconventional love story between an ogre and a princess with a secret - as Shrek rescues Fiona from a dragon while they're trailed by a talking donkey.

Why it goes hard: Is this an action movie or an animated princess-adjacent rom-com? According to the poster, it's the former, but the script doesn't necessarily agree. But what's even weirder is that the characters are smiling as they run from the dragon's fire. That bit makes more sense when you watch the movie, but it's a weird choice for the poster.