How to Grind (for Girls)

Co-authored by Yolanda Thomas

Last Updated: December 15, 2023 Fact Checked

Grinding is a form of dance that you can typically find at a club or a party where a man dances behind a woman while they both move their hips in the same circular motion. For girls, grinding can be a bit intimidating -- you may not know how to let a guy know you want to grind, where to put your hands, or how to move your hips. But don't worry -- grinding doesn't have to be hard and you don't have to get too intimate with your dance partner, especially if you don't know him. If you want to know how to grind with sexiness, class, and style, just follow these steps.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Approach the Guy

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1
Start dancing with your friends. Unless you already know the guy you want to dance with and he's led you to the dance floor, you'll have to approach the dance floor on your own first. (If you already have a guy, then you can skip this section). Take a trusted girlfriend or two with you and have a great time dancing, doing your own thing, and going a little crazy.^{[1]
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- Don't look around like you're desperate for a guy to dance with, even if you've found your target -- instead, let the guys see what a great time you're having and they'll come to you.
- Show off your dance moves with your girlfriends. Let the guys see that you can work your body, follow the beat, and have a great time.
2
Move closer to the guy. Once you've found your guy -- and maybe even locked eyes with him from across the room -- you and your girlfriends should start moving closer to him. Make this a natural, gradual move, and wait for him to come closer to you, too. If you lock eyes from across the room for one second and then one inch away from him the next, you won't look cool.
- Make your way over to him during the course of a song.
- Make sure that your girlfriends follow without crowding the guy.
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At this point, you should lock eyes with the guy, and maybe even give him a cute smile and then look away. Then, move even closer to him and let your body brush up against his, whether you're facing him and touching him with your hands, or turning away form him and occasionally brushing up against him with your desire.^{[2]
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Show him what you've got by stepping in front of him so that you lock eyes and know you're going to dance with each other. Spend a minute dancing in front of him, moving to the beat, and then slowly begin to turn so he can start dancing behind you and you can officially begin to grind.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Grind with the Guy

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First, you have to get in grinding position. Though you can mix it up once in a while, typical grinding position is when a guy stands behind a girl. You can leave about a foot between your bodies and don't have to get incredibly intimate to start grinding with the guy -- especially if you don't know him.
Both you and the guy should bend your knees so that you're lower to the ground. If the guy is much taller than you, then you won't have to bend your knees very much. If the guy isn't much taller than you, however -- this is likely to happen if you're wearing high heels -- then you should bend your knees a bit further so he's a bit above you.
3
Move your hips and butt. Now, move your hips and butt in one continuous circular motion, continuing to move from side to side while moving your legs up and down just a bit while keeping your knees bent. If the guy knows what he's doing, then his hips should find a similar rhythm to yours -- your hips should move in the same direction to the beat of the music.
- If you're feeling bold, you can touch the guy's front side with your butt as you move it from side to side. But you can also maintain a distance away from the guy.
Move your arms and chest to the beat of the music, gyrating your arms and chest in the same fluid motion. Look ahead or slightly down as you continue to work your arms and chest while you move your hips. You can bring your arms down so they're on your knees or near your waist, and wait for the guys hands to land on top of yours or around your waist as you continue to dance.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Try More Grinding Moves

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You don't have to dance right in front of the guy the whole time -- that can get boring, and you may actually want to see your dance partner once in a while. So, you can move over to the left, continuing your circular motion and bent knees motion, while the guy moves to the right, so you can look up and see him. You can switch places and move to the right while he moves to the left, and keep moving back and forth.
2
Turn it around. Turn around to face the guy instead of turning your back to him, and place your arms around his neck. This is called front grinding -- it's more risky and more sexy. Let him put his hands on your hips as you continue to move your waist in a circular motion. Move your hands away from his neck, and up and down his chest. Then, turn back around again.
- You can even place your fingers in the guy's belt loops for a few seconds.
When your back is to the guy, you can move your hands all the way down to the floor or near it, as you raise your butt more and more in the air. This is a more intimate move that is sure to make the guy go crazy -- as long as you have the confidence to pull it off.
Don't be intimidated if a slower song comes on at the club. You can still grind more slowly to the music, using the same moves you used to grind to fast-paced music, just at a lower speed. The slow grind is even sexier if you can pull it off. Don't let the guy see that you've been thrown off -- just continue to move to the music without skipping a beat.

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What do I do if I get pregnant from grinding?

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You won't unless your way of "grinding" is having sex.

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How do I grind with my clothes off?

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Once you're both naked, do the moves described in this article. Keep in mind this will very likely result in something far beyond grinding, so don't attempt this unless you're prepared to go there.

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Can you orgasm from front grinding?

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It's possible for some women, but not for most.

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Tips

Practice at home where no one is watching.

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Feel free to grind with whoever you choose, guy or girl.

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If the guy gets aroused, either ignore it or walk away if it makes you uncomfortable. Even though it's completely natural, he's probably a lot more embarrassed about it than you.

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The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

If a guy tries to grind on you and you're not feeling it, don't worry about being polite. Just say "No thanks" or walk away. You never have to do anything you're uncomfortable with.
If the grinding is going well, make eye contact and smile. Or say something simple like "Having fun?" to break the ice. Go with what feels natural in the moment.
If he touches you somewhere that feels wrong, feel empowered to move his hands back to a respectful spot. You get to decide what's okay and what's not.

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Warnings

Make sure you see the face of the person you are grinding with at least once so there are no surprises and to be safe.

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After grinding, you may feel a little risque and sexy! Give yourself time to cool down. You don't want to do something you'll regret.

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If the guy touches you in a way you don't want him to, say no. If he doesn't listen, make sure you walk away.

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It makes things a lot easier if your dancing next to a best friend who has also got a partner and who has already seen you dance before.

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As you raise your butt more and more into the air, make sure you are flexible enough not to injure yourself. Practice at home if necessary. Perhaps engage in some yoga or light stretching to increase flexibility. You may practice this at the club, as well, right before intent to grind. Don't worry about how strange it looks. Be yourself, girl!

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Make sure you wear deodorant. It is a major turn off to grind with smelly pits.

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