Jewel Staite: My most embarrassing costume, David Hewlett's teeth + more

Contributed by
Jul 4, 2015, 4:58 PM EDT

If you like Jewel Staite as Kaylee from Firefly and Serenity and Dr. Jennifer Keller from Stargate: Atlantis, you'll love the REAL Jewel Staite! That's why we're so pleased she's been joining us regularly here at Blastr to answer your questions and share whatever happens to be on her mind.

Oh hi, Blastr. Guess what? I'm on hiatus from The LA Complex! Which means I get to sleep in every day! And eat whatever I want! And bug you with my idiocy! Aren't you thrilled? Didn't you miss me? (Okay, just pretend like you missed me.)

In all honesty, the past month has been nuts. Besides wrapping up the show and packing up my very well lived-in hotel room, I moved houses in Vancouver and somehow flew around the globe for four conventions in the middle of it all. I'm tired. My friends who helped me move are even more tired. For the rest of the year, my deviant plan is to do nothing but watch a boatload of television from the comfort of my own brand new couch. No more trips. Except one to wine country, maybe. Or Mexico. I dunno. Fact of the matter is, it's time to relaaaaaaaax.

And what's more relaxing than answering your crazy questions? You guys have really lost the plan this time.

1. If you had a time machine and could visit any historical event, which snack would you bring?

WHAT? That's the most ridiculous question I've ever heard! Pringles, obviously.

2. Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?

(I'd like to point out that this question is from someone named Drunken John, which probably means we're related.)

All depends on the size of the duck. Size matters. (Ah—thank you.) I'd say 100 duck-sized horses, only because the bill of that horse-sized duck could do some damage to my money-maker. This is truly a very difficult question best pondered over hallucinogens. I'll come back to this later.

3. What would you do that "Raquel" from The LA Complex would never do?

Apologize. Just joking! I think it's more about what would "Raquel" do that I would never do, which is quite the list. That list is about as long as the list of apologies I have to make.

4. Did David Hewlett ever try slipping you the tongue on set?

Judging by the fact that he still has all his teeth, that would be a no.

5. What qualities do you look for in a guy? Intelligence? Height? Humour? Good Credit?

All of those things are nice. I'm a big fan of scientists. My mother taught me that the geeks shall inherit the earth, and she ain't wrong. But mostly they just have to laugh at my jokes and buy me shoes.

6. What is the alternate vector for a slingshot landing on Venus?

Pretty sure I skipped the class in school that would have given me any inkling of this. So I'm gonna go with Beyonce. Final answer.

7. What's the most embarrassing costume you've ever had to wear for a project?

I wore a rainbow wig once for a TV show that I've never quite lived down. I was 12 then, so I thought it was pretty sick. Now, not so much. Rainbow wig jokes get old when you're 30, which I am not ... So in ten years, those jokes have gotta stop.

8. Death being imminent, would you donate live tissue for cloning? You know, for future Jewelies and Kaylees?

I'd like to keep my tissues to myself, please. The only things I am not opposed to cloning are my cocker spaniel, Maui pineapples and the cast of Magic Mike.

9. You'll be abducted by aliens in 24 hours. You are now invisible, mute, and can teleport anywhere on earth. What do you do next?

Well, robbing banks is kinda moot since the cash isn't going to do me any good on the alien spacecraft. Shopping is sort of pointless since I'm pretty sure alien probing is done in the nude. Also, why am I mute in this scenario? Are you saying I talk too much? And are these aliens ala Contact or aliens ala Alien? Because these things make a huge difference. I'm gonna go with the 1 duck-sized horse.

10. You're called up to join The Avengers. How does the interview go?

Swimmingly, until we pass the wit and repartee part with Tony Stark and move onto the combat portion of the interview, where the Black Widow knocks me out. And then Mal shows up and shoots her in the face.


Okay, nutters, signing off until next time. Be good.


(And for more Jewel, remember to follow her on Twitter!)