50 Opening Lines for Starting a Text Conversation

For most of us, texting multiple people throughout the day is as normal as brushing our teeth or making dinner after work. We don't necessarily think about the thousands of tiny bubbles we've sent between loved ones over the years—we just continue building on them, one response after another. That is, unless, we've started chatting with someone new (perhaps a potential love interest), or we're trying to reignite a conversation with a loved one, old friend, or old flame. If you find that the message screen on your phone is blank, and you need to figure out the right conversation starter text to send, we've got you covered.

"Starting a text conversation depends on the scenario," Carmelia Ray, an online dating expert and advisor to the WooYouApp, says. "You want to be really mindful of the personality type and communication preference of the person."

If you've just met someone new, or are trying to rekindle a conversation, there are ways to start talking with the goal of really getting to know someone. Here, we consult with dating and relationship experts about creative ways to get the conversation going—and how to avoid a stale back-and-forth.

The Pros and Cons of Texting

We all know that the ease of texting makes it the preferred choice for simple conversations or for multitasking, and experts say it can help introverts especially manage interactions. Most of us are experienced with the downsides of that convenience, too, which Ray calls the "misrepresentation and misunderstanding" that occurs when tone and context are lost. Case in point: A Psychology Today article writes just seven percent of communication happens through the content of the message, while everything else happens through body language, vocal tone, emphasis, and pitch.

Similarly, there are some conversations that are better off having over the phone or in person. Take it from relationship expert Lisa Concepcion. "My rule of thumb is, if you can't express something in two easy sentences, then it's too heavy a topic for text. Pick up the phone and have a conversation," Concepcion says.

Either way, when it comes to building a relationship with someone new—romantic or not—texting, when used in tandem with other forms of communication can be useful... and fun! However, it has to start somewhere. The challenge is how to start a conversation over text.

If you just scored someone's digits—whether it's platonic or romantic—our experts offer some tips to keep in mind when beginning a conversation through text. We also touch on what not to do when texting someone new, because we all know the unique frustration of an unanswered text, too.

What to Avoid When Starting a Text Conversation

Most experts we talked to agree to avoid potentially heavy topics and to save them for the phone or an in-person conversation. According to Concepcion, stay away from "heavier topics about your relationship status, your past hurts, personal victories and disagreements or misunderstandings which can easily be taken out of context." Similarly, "When you are texting back and forth and think to yourself, 'Why are we not talking on the phone?' then this may be the time to ask if you can call," Ray says.

Ray adds, "You also want to absolutely avoid statements that are sexually explicit in nature unless that is your only goal. Initial texting conversations should always be lighthearted, inspirational, inquisitive, and fun to create a friendly and engaging open dialogue." Be sure to also steer clear of cliche topics of conversation. Making a comment about the nice weather is not going to move the conversation along very much. Other things to be mindful of when texting someone new? Your tone, use of emojis, and when the text conversation is over. Says Ray, "Some people like to text forever and you may not be in a space or time to do that. Always have a plan to politely end your communication."

After your initial texts, you may realize that the conversation isn't going anywhere. Perhaps it's taking your recipient an extended amount of time (a day or longer) to respond. Or when they do respond back, they are not particularly engaged in the conversation. This might be apparent based on their terse responses ("yeah, uh huh, k," etc.). Another sign of a dead end is when you're the only one initiating conversations. Receiving no response at all after a couple of texts is also probably a sign that you should move on. A conversation is only useful (and fun) if both sides are engaged. If it's a one-way street, it's okay to end the chat. 

Text Conversation Starters

As a rule of thumb, texting someone new means keeping things light and involves back-and-forth dialogue about shared interests, finding common ground, and learning about who they are, says Ray. "It takes some time getting to know someone's communication style and may be best to ask in the beginning, 'So are you a texter, or do you prefer to talk on the phone?' or 'Can you text at work, or when is the best time to text you?'" Relationship expert Robyn Koenig adds, "The key to conversation starters is to be interested in the other person without coming across as anxious or desperate for attention. Keep it light and show you have a genuine interest by reaching out with questions that allow for responses beyond one word."

Use this list of 50 conversation starters to jump-start your next text thread with someone new:

Ask them about questions about themselves.

• How would you describe yourself in three words?
• How do you relieve stress?
• What's your sign?
• Who have you been friends with the longest and how did you meet?
• What did you want to be when you were younger?
• Who is your role model?
• What is the high point of your day so far?
• What do you bring everywhere you go?
• What's one thing that makes you nervous?
• What's a pet peeve of yours?
• What's one thing you always do before bed?
• Did/do you enjoy school?
• If you came with a warning label, what would it say?
• What's your favorite thing about your hometown?
• What's your biggest accomplishment?
• How do you define success?

Ask about plans, interests, or activities they enjoy.

• What do you have planned for this weekend?
• What was your first concert?
• Are you working on anything exciting at the moment?
• Do you have any hidden talents?
• I'd love to hear more about your recent post on [Instagram/Snapchat/Facebook/Twitter]!
• If you have an hour of free time, how do you typically spend it?
• How did your interview/meeting/workout class go?
• What's your absolute favorite food?
• If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

Ask about pop culture.

• Did you see that viral YouTube video about [insert topic]? What did you think?
  
• What's the most interesting thing you've read recently?
• What's your favorite movie, and how many times do you think you've seen it?
• What's your opinion on the latest [X]?
• What song do you have on repeat lately?
• I just finished watching [X] and I think you'd love it!
• What are your thoughts on social media?

Ask them questions about you.

• Can you help me choose between [X] and [Y]?
• What was your first impression of me?
• What's an emoji that you think describes me, and one that describes you?
• What's something that surprised you about me?

Skip to making plans.

• Hey! Let's get together—when are you free so we can meet up?
• So when are we going on our next date?
• What do you think we should do for our next date?
• I have an extra ticket to this concert, do you want to come with me?
• Hey, want to try out that restaurant in town that just opened?

Give them a compliment.

• You did an amazing job with that [interview/meeting/event] earlier today.
• Do you want to know something I really like about you?
• I really enjoyed our conversation about [X] the other day.
• I can't get your smile out of my head.
• I've been thinking about you.

Be funny!

• What's the worst pickup line you've ever heard?
• What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in your recent memory?
• What's your plan for the zombie apocalypse?
• Hit me with your best dad joke.