Bartenders In Movies, Ranked By Whether You'd Want Them To Pour You Another One
- Photo: Paramount Pictures
Who's serving? Ravenwood runs the Raven, a tavern in Nepal that her father left in her care. The Raiders of the Lost Ark heroine, and Indy's love interest, is funny, kind, independent, and self-assured. She doesn't feel a need to lean into her sensuality, but will when it benefits her.
What'll it be? Marion serves up strong drinks to locals at her tavern. She'll occasionally throw down a wager that she can drink absolutely anyone under the table. Given her preternatural tolerance for alcohol, she always succeeds. Clear liquor is the booze of choice.
Would you tell her your problems? She will keep you on your toes. Marion has a wisecrack for any situation. She has a kind heart and a solid moral compass, so if you're a good person, you can trust her with anything. If not, she may just be gathering dirt on you. Either way, expect her to be entirely present.
- Photo: Buena Vista Pictures
Who's serving? The giant Octopus bartender in Who Framed Roger Rabbit works at the Ink and Paint Club. While Daffy and Donald aggressively play dueling pianos on stage, he does his job behind the bar with a speed that would be the envy of anyone in the service industry.
What'll it be? Everything! He makes and serves cocktails while taking orders and accepting payment - all at the same time. You'll never wait more than a moment for anything at this bar. While he does sling drinks at record speed, his sloppy red tongue hangs out of his mouth the whole time. Were the octopus not a cartoon, that would definitely be unsanitary.
Would you tell him your problems? Nah. He'd be too busy to give you his full attention. If you feel like being a bit of a jerk, you could have some fun spilling things or paying in pennies - anything that would throw Octo-booze off his game.
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- 338 VOTES
Nick From 'It's a Wonderful Life'
Photo: RKO Radio PicturesWho's serving? Nick is a grumpy jerk who is willing to throw down at any time, for any reason. His surly demeanor and forced expulsion of George Bailey and his guardian angel kick off George's journey of self-discovery.
What'll it be? He provides hard liquor to anyone who wants to get wasted, and has no patience for anything else. Nick serves bourbon and martinis, amongst other boozy concoctions.
Would you tell him your problems? Not unless you want to get decked in the face!
- 444 VOTESPhoto: Universal Pictures
Who’s serving? We never see Gary for more than a few seconds, but providing the Dude with his drinks and phone calls makes him a fairly important part of The Big Lebowski.
What’ll it be? Gary makes a mean Causasian, or White Russian, but also serves up some oat sodas and a Sioux City Sarsaparilla. Makes sense why the bowling alley regulars take a liking to him.
Would you tell him your problems? I suppose you could, but he appears to be a man of few words. His only lines in the movie are basic barkeep schtick - "Sure thing, Dude," and "That's right, Dude." Then again, that would be perfect for someone who just wants to vent and has no interest in feedback.
- 543 VOTESPhoto: Columbia Pictures
Who's serving? Arthur is an android tending bar aboard a giant spaceship called the Avalon. He keeps a tidy bar, provides sage advice to those he serves and, not being an organic life form, never tires. Arthur may not feel as a human does, but he sure does try to be helpful and comforting.
What'll it be? Arthur can guess a person's drink of choice just be looking at them, and makes a killer martini. Just good programming, I suppose.
Would you tell him your problems? That's what he's there for. He's the perfect bartender in every way, and that includes lending an ear and offering good advice.
- 653 VOTESPhoto: Buena Vista Pictures
Who's serving? The owner of the famed Coyote Ugly in NYC tends bar and trains new girls, molding them to fit the aesthetic and attitude at her hoppin’ bar. The performance aspect of the bar's scantily clad employees is just as - if not more - important than the drinks themselves, and Lil knows it.
What'll it be? She serves drinks hard, fast, and with lots of flair. She'll do whatever riles up the crowd. Owning their femininity, women rule Coyote Ugly, and it's always packed with happy customers.
Would you tell her your problems? When Lil is behind the bar, it's all about entertainment. If you want to chat, she'll probably tell you to go to the bar down the street... or a therapist.
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- 730 VOTESPhoto: Paramount Pictures
Who's serving? Charlene is a big drinker from a working-class neighborhood in Massachusetts, so it’s no surprise she ended up tending bar. She digs the attention it brings her, but more so the opportunity to hurl insults and crack wise. She has friends in low places, but is fine with that. She knows exactly how to defend herself, but is also kind and loyal to those who deserve it.
What'll it be? The pretty, no-nonsense bartender works at the Foxtail Lounge. She pours simple, strong drinks for her rowdy regulars, and often drinks alongside them.
Would you tell her your problems? As long as you are respectful and appreciate her, bring it on. If you treat her well, she'll return the favor.
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- 852 VOTESPhoto: Warner Bros.
Who's serving? Lloyd was a bartender in the lounge at the Overlook. When he passed, his ghost stuck around. The haunted hotel in The Shining allows Lloyd to manifest when Jack, the off-season caretaker, wants to hit the sauce.
What'll it be? Lloyd appears out of nowhere when Jack, a recovering alcoholic who's beginning to lose his mind, says he'd give his soul for a drink. As Jack downs his bourbon, the bartender guides him to the darker side of the Overlook.
Would you tell him your problems? Heck no! Lloyd may be a good listener, but no good can come from opening up to him. Though a man of few words, he uses every bit of knowledge against you. No amount of whiskey is worth that.
- 954 VOTESPhoto: Buena Vista Pictures
Who’s serving? When handsome, ambitious, young Brian (Tom Cruise) doesn't make it in the corporate world, he finds a mentor and learns how to sling drinks with flair at a NYC cocktail bar. The charismatic star of Cocktail is great at his craft and becomes wildly popular.
What’ll it be? No matter what you order, it will come with a show. He pours a solid drink, but the main focus is on presentation and entertainment.
Would you tell him your problems? If it's slow and he's not tossing too many bottles around, he'd probably give you his ear for a bit - especially if you're a pretty girl.
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- 1016 VOTESPhoto: 20th Century Fox
Who's serving? Margo is a solid bartender and co-owner of The Bar in North Carthage, MO. She is riotously funny, a loyal sister, and has a steadfast moral compass. With all of the insanity in Gone Girl, "Go" often expresses what the audience is likely thinking.
What'll it be? Though Margo and her brother co-own their watering hole, she's often the one behind the bar. There's a varied crowd at The Bar, but it's a definite meeting spot for college kids.
Would you tell her your problems? Absolutely. She has a tendency to wisecrack, but she's a good listener and a trusted advisor.
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- 1134 VOTESPhoto: 20th Century Fox
Who's serving? Wuher has had a tough life. He's seen some things and won't take any guff. The Star Wars bartender works at Chalmun's Spaceport Cantina, where he enforces a strict no-droid policy. Despite his grizzly manner, he does have dreams of making his fortune and finally leaving Tatooine.
What'll it be? In his own words, "Bartenders in these sorts of places, frequented by different and unique biochemistries, were more xenoalchemists than simple pourers of drinks." He knows what drinks are right for each of his patrons regardless of their species - a rare talent for a human. Wuher's main pours in the film are juri juice, sarlacc kicker, and good ol' blue milk.
Would you tell him your problems? It's unlikely that he'd give you the time of day, unless he heard a buzzword he thinks might help him achieve his life goal of creating the perfect drink for Jabba the Hutt.
- 1220 VOTESPhoto: The Cannon Group
Who's serving? Eddie is a picture of retro toxic masculinity. The macho, mustachioed, mullet-bearer bartends at Kenmore in 1980s LA. When a local drunk is angry with the short-fused Eddie for kicking him out of the bar for bad behavior, the two engage in a number of fist fights.
What'll it be? He serves his raucous bunch of loyal customers, but does not, himself, drink.
Would you tell him your problems? It's not really that kind of bar. You could complain to Eddie, but he probably wouldn't pay much attention unless you were to offend him.
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- 1324 VOTESPhoto: Newmarket Films
Who's serving? Natalie works at Ferdy’s bar in the suspense-thriller Memento, and scruples are not her strong suit. Though she manipulates our protagonist Leonard Shelby, who has a serious short-term memory issue, to get him to do her bidding, she isn't necessarily evil.
What'll it be? She slings beer, mostly to regulars. Aside from peddling booze, Natalie also takes covert orders for controlled substances at the bar.
Would you tell her your problems? Probably not a good idea. If she can find an angle by which to take advantage, she will.
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- 1414 VOTESPhoto: Republic Pictures
Who's serving? The seductive, fearless proprietor of Vienna's in Johnny Guitar serves mostly outlaws in her Arizona train-side saloon. She's already unpopular with the townsfolk for not adhering to gender norms and serving no-goodniks, and they really lose their cool when she decides to sell her business to the railroad.
What'll it be? Vienna is a great bartender. She serves up a whole lot of whiskey and gambling opportunities to the gunslingers who frequent her tavern. She wears pants, keeps a side arm strapped to her thigh, and has no patience for troublemaking. Even her Old West male patrons respect her.
Would you tell her your problems? Nah, she doesn't have time for your problems. If you two have a history and a spark of romance, well, that's another story.
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- 1513 VOTESPhoto: New Line Cinema
Who's serving? Brad, the bartender at the Fox Fire Room in the San Fernando Valley, seems to be a nice enough guy. When Donnie, one of his regulars, announces to the whole bar that he loves Brad, the muscular, brace-faced bartender does not engage, but still remains cordial.
What'll it be? He may not serve complex drinks, but he's pleasant, tidy, and his patrons adore him - sometimes too much.
Would you tell him your problems? Brad would likely smile and nod, but not really give you his full attention. There's not really anything wrong with that, of course. The man has a job to do.
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