The Handmaid’s Tale Star Ann Dowd on Finding Success Later in Life: "Don't Ever Give Up"
Ann Dowd is known for going to dark places in order to deliver her Emmy-winning performance as the sinister Aunt Lydia on Hulu's hit series The Handmaid’s Tale. In real life, her journey toward becoming one of TV's most respected actresses has weathered its fair share of murky periods—including years of auditions after a late start in the acting profession—but she acknowledges that being a bit older when she began only makes her success that much sweeter.
In fact, despite the rollercoaster ride, Dowd believes that acting was her destiny, as she exclusively told Parade.com.
“I was pregnant at 35 years old, working at a pet shop on 14th Street where the air conditioning wasn’t working half of the time, but it never occurred to me that I should be worried,” she says. “Here I was about to bring a child into the world and living paycheck to paycheck, but I never believed that I was in the wrong profession because it just felt right in my heart and in my soul."
She added, “All I had going for me was a fierce desire, a kind of panicked energy, and all I asked of myself was, 'Please don’t ever give up.'"
Dowd's advice to those of us on a bumpy or unpredictable journey? "Trust yourself and trust there is a place at the table for you.”
Keep reading to find out how the 65-year-old Dowd kept her focus, kept on believing in herself—and continues to do both while looking toward the future.
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I want to talk about finding success at a later age. What does that mean to you, and to our readers who might still be looking for their first or second act?
I’ve thought a lot about it because I’m trying to remember what the actual feelings were during all those years of barely getting by. I was trying to raise a family, and keeping my spirits positive; which is essential. For whatever reason, each job thrilled me. It didn’t have to be a big part, but just any role that I connected to was enough. So, it was a gradual process of just saying, “That’s the way through.” I had moments when I would just be in despair trying to figure out when am I going to get to a place that’s just a little more sound and secure?” I had real bouts of despair and I would lose sight of the fact that I needed to stay present. As an actor, you live in an area of denial, which I think is very healthy. And by denial, you’re not thinking a lot about the future.
You were studying pre-med before you selected acting as your career.
Yes, and I had an extraordinary organic chemistry teacher, Mike McGrath, who said to me, “I know you chose this, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right path.” He asked me what are the signs I was getting: “You are doing well, and yet you’re unhappy; that means something.” He told me I could change my path and that there was no shame or weakness in it, and he was right.
So, once you found your path it appears that there was no stopping you.
Right. I would wait on tables. Now, I didn’t like it, but that wasn’t sucking my creative energy at all. My focus was still acting. And whatever anyone does to make ends meet and pay the rent, [those jobs] can keep your focus where it belongs.
How do you regroup, go back to your life as Ann after going to such a dark place in The Handmaid's Tale?
That’s the joy of the work. It is make-believe. So, when we go the distance, when we leave at the end of the day, nobody’s finger is missing. No one has been raped. Since I’ve done it for a while now, I’m happy and thrilled to go as dark as it needs to. The days are long, so you come home, you’re exhausted. You have your glass of wine and the thoughts just move on and you rest. I believe that part of the skill is in letting go at the end.
Ann Dowd as Aunt Lydia in Hulu's The Handmaid's Tale.
Could you tell from the beginning that The Handmaid's Tale was going to become such a big, award-winning phenomenon with such a cult following?
No, I didn’t. I knew that it was very well done and how well thought out it was and how beautifully it was being shot. I could see how Bruce Miller really understood Margaret Atwood’s novel, and how Bruce and the other writers brought to life what she intended in their scripts. And I could tell how terrific my fellow actors were. But it was more let’s keep the focus on the work.
You were also involved in her latest book The Testaments, the sequel to TheHandmaid’s Tale.
Yes, I did the audio for Lydia. It’s remarkable. It picks up 15 years beyond where we are in Gilead. I can’t imagine a better way through this story than the one that Atwood has chosen. It’s beautifully written and it was a pleasure to do. It was intimidating to do the audio. First of all, I’ve never done that before. But the one great comfort was that I knew this character to such a large extent and I had that to rely on.
What projects other than The Handmaid’s Tale greatly affected you?
There have been so many wonderful, wonderful opportunities. I loved The Leftovers for HBO written by Tom Perrotta, and Taking it Into Another Place by Damon Lindelof. And I loved doing Good Behavior. I’m extremely fortunate having had these opportunities. Being on stage playing Doubt. There have been so many jobs that I’ve absolutely loved like being on stage in Doubt. I loved doing all the various episodes of Law & Order. Compliance was also a fantastic experience.
When you’re not working nor busy with your family, what is something that you do for your mind, body or spirit?
I don’t mean to speak for other working mothers, but I think we tend to put ourselves last because there’s too much else to do. The one thing I started to do consistently is exercise. I just say, “I’m sorry, but for this hour I’m going to be at the gym and I can’t help you.” That’s essentially the biggest change of realizing, I’ve got to release a lot of this stress, and I need to stay healthy, and in some kind of shape. So I must do it.
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