this is a community like r/AmITheAsshole except unlike that subreddit here you can post interpersonal conflicts, anything that's AITA but is not allowed there even posting about Scar from the lion king and trying to convince redditors that he was not the AH. rules: don't berate others and no pornography we have children here
For context J (F17) has been dating P (M18) since middle of last year. He asked me to help him buy a gift for her bday when he saw on Instagram that I (F17) was at the mall and basically invited himself. Additionally, he would call me whenever they had an issue.
She did not like this as she wanted him to figure these things out by himself but I responded saying « what did u want me to say? No ur on ur own sorry! » I’m not confrontational like that.
Fast forward to February. He asked me for help for his valentines gift and when she found out she blew up at me saying it wasn’t my place to help and I should’ve said no to him and that I need to stop getting involved. (I’ve lowkey became the wing woman in our friend group).
This pissed me off as I didn’t understand why I was getting yelled at and out of spite I blocked him. However a month later I did feel bad and unblocked him and apologized for being spiteful.
Fast forward to now. Since February, she simps for him all the time but I’m not allowed to know specific details but all our other friends do. Additionally, I’ve been salty with prom season as I have been helping out w promposals since last year and know I am not getting one of my own. (I’m not conventionally attractive lol)
Anyways today I get added to a group chat and it’s for her promposal. Thing is P has ME BLOCKED (which I found out a couple minutes ago). But added me cuz I’m her best friend. I’m just upset because for someone who wants me to be so uninvolved in her relationship… I just have no words
I get it, I’m happy for her, and Id do anything for her. But I can’t find myself wanting to help out with this.
The group chat has already assigned me a role so I can’t necessarily back out but I just feel so overwhelmed.
I’ve talked to a few friends and some say I should back out because I’m « being used » and others say that I shouldn’t take it to heart because P specifically wanted me to help otherwise I wouldn’t be in the group chat
So WIBTAH to back out?
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NTA if you back out. Your friend has clearly had issues with you being a part of things before, and if you don’t want to step on her toes, politely decline and leave the chat. She’s the only one who really matters other than you in this situation and if for some reason she later one questions why you didn’t help, remind her about the last couple times this same thing happened and that you were just trying to respect her wishes. Not worth losing a friend over a group chat, even if she really shouldn’t be getting that worked up over the situations anyways.
NTA I would back out. You don’t need to sign yourself up for that extra drama cuz you know your “friend” is going to be mad about your involvement. Don’t feel bad about not talking to/helping that dude out. You don’t need to be a wingwoman. And you are being used. Just take care of yourself and don’t worry so much about others (when it gets to the point of making someone mad…def not worth it) focus your energy on something else