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What Happened to You?: Conversations on Trauma, Resilience, and Healing Hardcover – April 27, 2021
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ONE MILLION COPIES SOLD
#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
Our earliest experiences shape our lives far down the road, and What Happened to You? provides powerful scientific and emotional insights into the behavioral patterns so many of us struggle to understand.
“Through this lens we can build a renewed sense of personal self-worth and ultimately recalibrate our responses to circumstances, situations, and relationships. It is, in other words, the key to reshaping our very lives.”―Oprah Winfrey
This book is going to change the way you see your life.
Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question.
Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”
Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the book, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future―opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.
- Print length304 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherFlatiron Books: An Oprah Book
- Publication dateApril 27, 2021
- Dimensions5.85 x 1.2 x 8.55 inches
- ISBN-101250223180
- ISBN-13978-1250223180
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Editorial Reviews
Review
"Where Hope Lives:
What we experience in childhood shapes us forever―and that is especially true for young victims of trauma. It’s a lesson Oprah learned as a child being raised by an abusive grandmother. She developed 'a keen sense of when trouble was brewing'―when she would be subjected to 'whuppings' at times so brutal, the welts left behind would bleed through her clothing.
As a result of this and other abuse she suffered, Oprah has had a lifelong interest in understanding and overcoming the profound effects of early trauma―and helping others do the same. Now, she’s teamed up with neuroscientist and child trauma expert Bruce Perry, MD, PhD, on this essential book. Revealing, intimate, and educational, it’s a testament to the authors’ wish for readers to come to grips with, and let go of, the past―and to move forward into 'post-traumatic wisdom.'"
―Leigh Haber, O Magazine
About the Author
Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., a child psychiatrist and neuroscientist, is the principal of the Neurosequential Network, senior fellow of the ChildTrauma Academy and an adjunct professor of psychiatry at the Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. He is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children, and Born for Love, about the essential nature of empathy.
Product details
- Publisher : Flatiron Books: An Oprah Book; 1st edition (April 27, 2021)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 304 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1250223180
- ISBN-13 : 978-1250223180
- Item Weight : 1.3 pounds
- Dimensions : 5.85 x 1.2 x 8.55 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #749 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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About the authors
Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D. is the Senior Fellow of The ChildTrauma Academy, a not-for-profit organization based in Houston (www.ChildTrauma.org) and adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. Dr. Perry is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children and Born For Love: Why Empathy is Essential and Endangered. Over the last thirty years, Dr. Perry has been an active teacher, clinician and researcher in children’s mental health and the neurosciences holding a variety of academic positions.
Dr. Perry was on the faculty of the Departments of Pharmacology and Psychiatry at the University Of Chicago School Of Medicine from 1988 to 1991. From 1992 to 2001, Dr. Perry served as the Trammell Research Professor of Child Psychiatry at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas. During this time, Dr. Perry also was Chief of Psychiatry for Texas Children's Hospital and Vice-Chairman for Research within the Department of Psychiatry. From 2001 to 2003, Dr. Perry served as the Medical Director for Provincial Programs in Children's Mental Health for the Alberta Mental Health Board. He continues to serve as a Senior Consultant to the Ministry of Children’s Services in Alberta, Canada.
Dr. Perry has conducted both basic neuroscience and clinical research. His neuroscience research has examined the effects of prenatal drug exposure on brain development, the neurobiology of human neuropsychiatric disorders, the neurophysiology of traumatic life events and basic mechanisms related to the development of neurotransmitter receptors in the brain. His clinical research and practice has focused on high-risk children - examining long-term cognitive, behavioral, emotional, social, and physiological effects of neglect and trauma in children, adolescents and adults. This work has been instrumental in describing how childhood experiences, including neglect and traumatic stress, change the biology of the brain – and, thereby, the health of the child.
His clinical research over the last ten years has been focused on integrating concepts of developmental neuroscience and child development into clinical practices. This work has resulted in the development of innovative clinical practices and programs working with maltreated and traumatized children, most prominently the Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics (NMT). The ChildTrauma Academy has multiple partners in various sectors of the community and has created many programs in context of public-private partnerships with the goal of promoting positive change within the primary institutions that work with high risk children such as child protective services, mental health, public education and juvenile justice.
His experience as a clinician and a researcher with traumatized children has led many community and governmental agencies to consult Dr. Perry following high-profile incidents involving traumatized children such as the Branch Davidian siege in Waco, the Oklahoma City bombing, the Columbine school shootings, the September 11th terrorist attacks, Katrina hurricane, the FLDS polygamist sect and many others.
Dr. Perry is the author of over 300 journal articles, book chapters and scientific proceedings and is the recipient of numerous professional awards and honors, including the T. Berry Brazelton Infant Mental Health Advocacy Award, the Award for Leadership in Public Child Welfare and the Alberta Centennial Medal.
He has presented about child maltreatment, children's mental health, neurodevelopment and youth violence in a variety of venues including policy-making bodies such as the White House Summit on Violence, the California Assembly and U.S. House Committee on Education. Dr. Perry has been featured in a wide range of media including National Public Radio, The Today Show, Good Morning America, Nightline, CNN, MSNBC, NBC, ABC and CBS News and the Oprah Winfrey Show. His work has been featured in documentaries produced by Dateline NBC, 20/20, the BBC, Nightline, CBC, PBS, as well as dozen international documentaries. Many print media have highlighted the clinical and research activities of Dr. Perry including a Pulitzer-prize winning series in the Chicago Tribune, US News and World Report, Time, Newsweek, Forbes ASAP, Washington Post, the New York Times and Rolling Stone.
Dr. Perry, a native of Bismarck, North Dakota, was an undergraduate at Stanford University and Amherst College. He attended medical and graduate school at Northwestern University, receiving both M.D. and Ph.D. degrees. Dr. Perry completed a residency in general psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine and a fellowship in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at The University of Chicago.
Oprah Winfrey is a global media leader, philanthropist, producer and actress. She has created an unparalleled connection with people around the world, making her one of the most respected and admired figures today.
For 25 years, Winfrey was the host and producer of the award-winning talk show “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” where she entertained, enlightened, and uplifted millions of viewers. In her role as Chairman and CEO of OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network, she guided her cable network to success, is the founder of O, The Oprah Magazine and digital site OprahDaily.com, and oversees Harpo Productions. In 1996, Oprah’s Book Club launched, serving as a catalyst for the creation of book clubs around the world and millions of books sold across genres, with the 100th selection recently being named.
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My personal experience, I was brought up in a middle class white family, graduated college at 23, and on to work full-time, a fulfilling career, until my childhood trauma was triggered when I felt bullied by a $3trillion company. I suffered from dissociative trauma, as a child, fight or flight were not options to the significant abuse I suffered. This bully triggered the bully from my childhood that significantly abused me and I took all the anger from my childhood bully and placed it on this company. Whether I was right or wrong in feeling bullied is moot, book will point to that. I resigned from a career at this company of 11 years, a good career, and went on to file multiple lawsuits consuming two years of my life, the picture shows I took the case all the way to The Supreme Court of the US, after I was rejected in every other court. You see the child who did not have a voice when she was being abused, was determined this time to be heard, hence all the lawsuits begging someone to see how I was being bullied. I wasn't successful, every court denied to allow me to go to discovery, which just again, reactivated my childhood trauma of not being heard. This started for me in 2014, it would take me 4 years to walk through the doors of a trauma counselor where I would connect all the dots and be flooded with past memories, experience PTSD, body sensations, and here I am 3 years later, healthier and whole, but it was the most difficult process I've ever experienced. I was lucky, I had an incredible support system in my husband and friends but I can easily see how this type of event would cripple anyone and how they could be ostracized by friends and family, not that I didn't experience some of that, but those who were there for me helped me overcome.
So, yes, I recommend the book because all of us have experienced adversities or trauma and most folks have no idea how it is playing out in their lives today and how they are passing it down to their children. If you take the time to be openminded, reflective, and honest, you will in fact take something away that will make your life better.
Thank you Dr. Perry and Oprah, for all the work you have done in this field for decades. I can't imagine how difficult it has to be to hear so many of these stories, live it, and know it, and see how slow our society has been to address mental health. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Oprah for putting it on your 2021 list, and thank you too for sharing your personal story, how you struggled and resolved your relationship with your mother, it moved me to tears, for many reasons. May God bless you each abundantly and may His hand be upon the mission of expanding this topic of What Happened To you?
Leigh Ann Harris
North Carolina
Reviewed in the United States on December 9, 2021
My personal experience, I was brought up in a middle class white family, graduated college at 23, and on to work full-time, a fulfilling career, until my childhood trauma was triggered when I felt bullied by a $3trillion company. I suffered from dissociative trauma, as a child, fight or flight were not options to the significant abuse I suffered. This bully triggered the bully from my childhood that significantly abused me and I took all the anger from my childhood bully and placed it on this company. Whether I was right or wrong in feeling bullied is moot, book will point to that. I resigned from a career at this company of 11 years, a good career, and went on to file multiple lawsuits consuming two years of my life, the picture shows I took the case all the way to The Supreme Court of the US, after I was rejected in every other court. You see the child who did not have a voice when she was being abused, was determined this time to be heard, hence all the lawsuits begging someone to see how I was being bullied. I wasn't successful, every court denied to allow me to go to discovery, which just again, reactivated my childhood trauma of not being heard. This started for me in 2014, it would take me 4 years to walk through the doors of a trauma counselor where I would connect all the dots and be flooded with past memories, experience PTSD, body sensations, and here I am 3 years later, healthier and whole, but it was the most difficult process I've ever experienced. I was lucky, I had an incredible support system in my husband and friends but I can easily see how this type of event would cripple anyone and how they could be ostracized by friends and family, not that I didn't experience some of that, but those who were there for me helped me overcome.
So, yes, I recommend the book because all of us have experienced adversities or trauma and most folks have no idea how it is playing out in their lives today and how they are passing it down to their children. If you take the time to be openminded, reflective, and honest, you will in fact take something away that will make your life better.
Thank you Dr. Perry and Oprah, for all the work you have done in this field for decades. I can't imagine how difficult it has to be to hear so many of these stories, live it, and know it, and see how slow our society has been to address mental health. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Oprah for putting it on your 2021 list, and thank you too for sharing your personal story, how you struggled and resolved your relationship with your mother, it moved me to tears, for many reasons. May God bless you each abundantly and may His hand be upon the mission of expanding this topic of What Happened To you?
Leigh Ann Harris
North Carolina
I got this book not having any high hopes. It really opened my eyes on what anxiety and depression really is and how things that we never noticed could be a trigger point for a PTSD episode. In the beginning, Dr. Perry mentioned how there was one child who did not get along with the teacher and then the aha moment came when the boy’s dad came for a visit, wearing the same cologne that the teacher had on.
I started highlighting the lines, sentences, and notes on the side the points that resonated with me the most and it is really helpful for me to understand my triggers and my reactions. The biggest take away for me is how trauma affects children and how I can stop some of the cycles that I am creating unknowingly.
I do like the conversation style where Oprah would write in blue from the experiences that she has and Dr. Perry in black in response to it. You feel like you are sitting in on a class or an discussion between the two. The examples they give is poignant and relatable. The font color may not be agreeable with others but blue is suppose to be soothing and provides comfort. It also shows you where oprah starts and where Dr. Perry begins.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who is suffering from trauma in their life. It can be a hard read as I started crying by the second chapter. This also means that it hits a spot that needs to be heal.
Top reviews from other countries
Während ich das Buch gelesen habe, habe ich mir diese Frage oft gestellt. Die Konversation zwischen Oprah und Bruce ist extrem spannend und ich empfehle jede/n Trauma-Interessent/in dieses Buch zu lesen.