AITA for saying that a special education teacher shouldn't be around children?
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Tash: but I wasn’t bullying!!!
Also Tash: he deserved to know she wasn’t pretty
Big yikes situation. Some people never grow out of high school
If that was "Tash", the other thing that struck out to me was "She denied me the chance to be the better person"
No, there's nothing stopping you from being a better person now, OP just stopped you from apologizing to her face. You can still be a better person just by choosing to be better. If these comments are real then it's clear Tash only wants to show off how she's "being better" and isn't interested in actually trying to be a good person.
Thinking of the people who've mistreated me in the past, I wouldn't want an apology from any of them, because they can't undo their actions and I have no way of knowing that they've changed. I owe them nothing. They should simply try to be better people to others.
Yeah. Nothing was actually stopping this person from just being better.
There's nothing that says you have to make the apology at that particular moment to be better. This person (if real) just chose not to be better.
Except she didn't even deny Tash the chance to apologize to her face- they've seen each other in person twice as adults, which would be a perfect opportunity, and Tash instead chose to continue to bully Allie even more. If you've been wanting to apologize so badly, why would you start off with an insult when you finally get the chance? Pure bullshit lol
Except she didn't even deny Tash the chance to apologize to her face- they've seen each other in person twice as adults,
Yeah, you're right.
I was intentionally ignoring that, though, because it's bad even without that. I like looking at these situations in the most favorable light- like even if you assume everything is 100% true and the person saying that is 100% accurate, they're still not good. Even if you look at this in the best possible way, and give the bully every benefit of the doubt, it still doesn't make Tash look good.
Ugh yes. Like...zero self-awareness.
It was like the narcissists prayer in real time, goddamn.
I honestly do not remember the restaurant incident (That didn't happen), but even if I did say that fat people weren't allowed, it was probably a joke. (And if it did, it wasn't that bad) I think that Allie is just as sensitive as when we were kids. (And if it was, that's not a big deal)
These aren't consequences for my actions, I was fired because Allie is dragging my name through the mud. (And if it is, that's not my fault) I shouldn't be punished for telling the truth (And if it was, I didn't mean it.), her husband deserved to know that she wasn't pretty anyway. (And if I did, then you deserved it.)
I shouldn't be punished for telling the truth
Part of being an adult is learning to not say mean things out loud.
Hell, you can say mean things out loud, but you have to have tact and diplomacy.
Its often the "I say it like it is" crowd that doesn't understand that though, and hide behind that line in order to try and obfuscate the fact that they are just assholes.
This!
I’m very much in the ‘brutally honest’ crowd. Doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole about it. Instead on commenting on the negative stuff, which is absolutely not my place and would be asshole territory, I prefer commenting on the positive stuff (‘I like your clothes’, ‘your hair looks super nice’, etc…).
That's why I get such a laugh out of the "fuck your feelings" crowd. They're openly admitting that they aren't functional adults, and the second someone dishes it back they play the victim, again demonstrating that they aren't functional adults.
There is no group under the sun that gets more butthurt when you call them "snowflake", either.
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That's what I don't get. She could just have said "You look great" but by pointing how she used to look awful she demonstrates she is still an asshole
Special Ed teacher: you’re not as stupid as you were last week, Johnny.
I think here "and if it did, it wasn't that bad" and "and if it was, I didn't mean it" are switched, but it's crazy how they're all there.
Yeah, that comment could go in intro to psych textbooks.
Well observed.
Total DARVO coming from her.
I got personality disorder vibes from her too.
Yeah, being that obsessed with someone you disliked in high-school is NOT normal or healthy.
Middle school. The OOP was 12. Like, I don't hang out with my middle school bully, but she also has moved on and actually apologized when we ran into each other in college. If she suddenly started harassing me I would be extremely confused and concerned for her mental health.
Yup when the possible Tash comments that OOP blocked her in HS stopping her from apologizing and ‘growing as a better person’ she really meant stoping her from showing people she a better person and not actually doing anything at all. Growing into a better person after realizing what you did was wrong is also accepting that the person you hurt is under no obligation to accept you apologize even if you truly are sorry. That the way not getting anger and bullying them more for not accepting a half assed apologize some people never grow as individuals. That and the responses you pointed out scream narcissist
This comment was so strange. Like does the husband not have eyes? If he can see, then he knows if she’s pretty (to him) or not. If he is blind, then why would he need to know if the rest of the world thinks she’s pretty or not?
It was the first sign that something subtly wasn’t right up there
Huh. The first sign to me was when she said that blocking her wasn’t fair, as it took away her opportunity to grow and become a better person. She became the victim pretty quickly there.
Oh yeah, the whinging about how OOP "blocked [her] number and took away [her] ability to apologise really irked me. Like, damn, ever consider that her blocking you (Tash) was in order to stop you from relentlessly bullying her? I highly doubt it was intended in any way malicious towards Tash, although, even if it was, OOP still wouldn't be in wrong for choosing to block her phone number.
She made a thing that should be solely about the the other person about herself instead, which defeats the purpose of apologising in the first place.
"Tash" comes across as somebody who is not only the main character in her life, but expects to be the main character in everybody else's lives as well
She clearly bases her own internal value on her high position socially as a child. So is angry when she sees someone doing better as an adult than they did as a child
Tash is clearly worried that OOP and husband will have ugly kids and they’ll get bullied/s
Yeah lemme tell you, if those comments were legit, that says everything you need to know about Tash - and she definitely should not be working with special needs children jfc. Could you imagine the damage she could inflict as a teacher on those children?
I wonder how much of Tash being fired is down to the comment / request OP made, vs. Tash’s behaviour and comments when asked about why a parent would have that request. I think Tash did this to herself.
Yep.
“I could have been more kind when I was a child, now I know I was acting out and I want to help kids like me. I think today was a miscommunication but even so, I’m terribly sorry I offended her.” A little grace and accountability wipes the slate clean almost every time.
This kind of person would never do something like that, they'd see it as a humiliating defeat
Remember, OOP said other parents made complaints about Tasha - it just that OOP's complaint put things in perspective for the administration that Tasha's behavior pattern has been happening since childhood and not something recent work-related. Just think about it, Tasha bullied a regular student since childhood to adulthood and is now bullying special needs children as an adult - Tasha can not be trusted with any type of children and the school system finally realize that after all those complaints.
Technically we don’t know that she was bullying the kids, just that other parents had already been complaining about something.
Yes and if Tash was in a union, it’s likely that multiple reports were needed
Yes, teachers won't be fired for one accusation like that if they otherwise have a good reputation.
I've found that jobs that involve vulnerable people or children tend to attract the absolute best and absolute worst people.
Well you have a very difficult and stressful job that pays shit, so people only get into it if they have some other driving reason, which generally boils down to either a self-sacrificing desire to help children or a desire to have power over the helpless.
Special education in particular attracts a lot of... Interesting personalities. It's much more difficult than gen ed, with many times more paperwork and red tape, but the pay is usually the same. I'm a gen ed teacher, and while I have worked with some awesome sped teachers over the years, I can also attest that the nastiest teacher drama always comes out of the sped department.
I’m guessing that’s precisely why she chose that profession.
Preying on the vulnerable? A lot of predators deliberately pick professions where they are in trusted positions over vulnerable people. Makes sense. Unfortunately.
Pretty much...
That's why my narcissistic sister became a primary school teacher. 🤷
Easily can. My little bro is in a post high school special Ed program to get two more years of high school then trade school geared towards special Ed. I can imagine the rage if someone like this was teaching him
There is someone like this in my department at work. A lot of people seem to sincerely like her, and feel that it is my and other victim's responsibility to fix the problem by staying out of her way (as the cops more or less did to OP by telling her to stay inside, wtf!)
Yeah I have a family member who everyone thinks “that’s just her humor” and it’s my fault for calling it out and incurring her wrath. I just don’t engage. There’s nothing you can do. Most people prioritize group harmony over truth. It’s frustrating but we can only control ourselves.
Grey rock strategy. Sadly it's the best defense there really is against certain personality disorders.
The best way to avoid trouble is to be so boring that they focus their attention on someone else. Make no mistake the person they focus their attention on will be in for a bad time.
They will not forget or forgive any insult etc. so you have to deal with the consequences until they are bored or not around anymore.
Let me guess - when someone reciprocates a “joke” she goes ballistic? My dad and ex-SIL were exactly the same.
"who prefers a negative peace which is the absence of tension to a positive peace which is the presence of justice"
That MLK line applies so much to so many different groups of people.
Family used to tell me similar about my mom. I instead cut her out of my life.
I'm really really tired of always being the one that cedes whole damn cities to people who treated me horribly.
I so get you
Same here
But its her fault that she blocked me so I couldnt bully her more, i mean apologise.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Tash was probably projecting her inner ugliness on OOP. Sigh. Sad, so sad.
Like I hope they can get her some help because something isn’t wired right up there. I have some sympathy but seriously op just wanted her daughter in a different class not to get a woman fired
When somebody is still a student teacher one parent complaint can often get them fired. It depends on the placement and district, of course, but one of my students lost his placement over something a friend posted to his facebook wall and a parent saw--because he had made his profile private and the friend posted the stupid thing publicly. Sigh.
Also until she completely went batshit Tash could have had a job. She may have had to retake some classes but there are all sorts of education programs, some of which are "fast track" for those that have some coursework, experience, or another degree. All is very rarely lost if you don't do the rest of what she did.
Exactly. But not everyone knows that student teachers easily get fired. I didn’t even know that. I doubt op did.
I know, right? Usually when the other side logs in to "set the record straight," they don't just confirm everything.
Classic Missing Missing reasons.
Also, setting the record straight usually means setting THEIR record straight without wanting to hear anyone else's perspective.
I remember getting downvoted to absolute hell on here for saying all the mean girls from high school are either nurses or teachers. BUT ITS TRUE.
From my own (unfortunate, extensive) experience with those people: they purposely go for things where they can dominate others. The ones that work in care homes, with primi babies, the disabled, and often also pet rescuers - have a very good cloak. People praise them for their work ánd they get to dominate.
People are always fighting with me when I say you can't grow empathy. You can grow out of shitty opinions engrained into you by family and peers, but empathy isn't something you can develop. If you have to tell someone to care it's already too late imo
Volunteer organisations usually also attract their fair share.
It's a shame because it's almost a 50/50 split hey.
I know one pet rescue org that was started by two people - one a raging narcissist that takes every chance they can to kick a dog, and the other a naive soul who actually believed the narcissist also cared.
Worked for a bunch on NGOs and those companies are filled with people who are only there because of the praise they get. The cancer charity I worked at out of 12 staff I was legit the only person who cared about the issue, and the rest were all running on the fumes of attention.
Sad shit. I'm not a pessimist when I say good people are hard to find - that's just realist. So yeh, grip tight to those people when you find them <3
Empathy is something you can develop, this is something that has been researched fairly extensively
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2021/11/feature-cultivating-empathy
I swear that when I read the part of he deserving to know she wasn’t pretty I just watch in front of my like in the office.
I had to reread her final comment like three times because I was just like no she didn’t just do that
What was the response from the ex-friends who had been harassing you after Tash was arrested?
With the way the friends been acting, I could see them finding a way to blame OP. I could hear them saying “she had no choice to break in. She wanted to talk to you but you blocked her on everything. It’s not like she destroying anything. She was just sitting waiting for you to come home to talk”
It's all OP's fault.... Why didn't she leave the door unlocked like Tash wanted? Won't someone think of Tash?!
"She literally broke my window"
I blocked all the ladies that had been texting me repeatedly, and I don't want to open that can of worms by unblocking them (mostly in fear that I'll somehow be blamed for this as well), but everyone else around me is pretty shocked that it escalated this quickly. It feels surreal to be honest, I have never experienced anything as unhinged as this.
I’m shocked she has so many people defending her; she sounds like a miserable, entitled witch.
Often these people are very charismatic and as long as they’re focused on someone else (like OP) then they’re not an threat to the other “friends.” It’s the same way that lunatics come into political power.
My friends ex friend broke into his house and all his 'friends' say its his own fault for 'letting it escalate that far' by idk, not going out of town? What tf else is he supposed to do get him pre arrested?
I would unblock Tash at least. But don't respond to anything she says. You may need those texts to prove harassment. Also save those letters and any more you may receive. Document everything. If you file a restraining order, any attempts for her to contact you, either directly or indirectly (like through those other friends you blocked), will land her right back in jail.
I would unblock Tash at least
Definitely, gotta give her the opportunity to grow.
...her prison sentence.
the opportunity to grow her list of charges
Since they already have a lawyer they should do nothing without checking with the lawyer first. Unblocking her may seriously undermine the narrative that OP feels harassed. But yes, they should keep what they do have and make backups.
"You drove her to take extreme measures to be able to talk to you, you psychopath!" - them, probably.
"Look what you made me do!"
Get cameras and tell the police about the harassment from her friends
I would advise unblocking everyone and documenting their harassment.
Only if her mental health can tolerate it. It may not be worth the toll.
Unblock everyone, but get a new phone and phone number that you use for daily life and let someone else check your old phone and phone number.
Documentation, and keeping away the mental load!
“I do not believe it was fair of her to take away the opportunity for me to grow and be a better person.”
“But even if I did say that fat people weren’t allowed, it was probably a joke. I think that Allie is just as sensitive as when we were kids.”
Tell me how you haven’t matured without saying you haven’t matured.
Even without the second comment the first is completely unhinged. Other people are not there for you to learn lessons from, and if they are hurt they can stop having you in their lives. It's not "unfair" because they are whole independent people too and their sole purpose in life is not you.
I think it was her trying to pretend to be how she thinks a normal person would think a good person would act, but she doesn't really understand so it comes out warped. I think this woman is probably literally insane and has some kind of disorder that I'm not qualified to guess at.
"her husband deserved to know she wasn't pretty anyway".
Someone like this absolutely should not be working in special education.
I recently had the misfortune of being sick enough to spend a few weeks in hospital and while the nurses and doctors and hospital were brilliant (and the food was AWESOME! PUBLIC MEDICINE IN AUSTRALIA FOR THE WIN!), one nurse was a fucking sadist. He was more suited to the armed forces, loved control, restricted every movement of every patient. HE told ME that I was being rude for sticking up for myself. Holy moly. To end up in that ward, a person has no control over their own body and needs extreme medical invervention and by god he loved control. "I am only here to help!" he stated, while all I saw was him beating weak people into weaker places. Talk about a captive audience. He's in heaven. I hope he trips on his own antimicrobial soap.
You can report them to the relevant health organisation or AHPRA! They can't take action if they don't get feedback :)
This link explains where best to raise your concern: https://www.ahpra.gov.au/Notifications/Concerned-about-a-health-practitioner.aspx (hope it works, I'm on mobile :'))
They shouldn't be a role model for anybody, ever. At best this type of behaviour might fit in at a pretentious, high-end salon or something.
Maybe script-writer for the new IASIP?
WHY?? Like, how does that change a single thing now anyway? Such a weird thing for her to say.
Right?!?! If she was so upset that she didn’t get to apologize why would she tell her she’s fat the next time she saw her instead of, oh I don’t know, apologizing? Did she really think people would think she’s not the one in the wrong? I wonder what she’s told all those friends to get them to side with her.
I bet she’s accused OP of leading some sort of smear campaign against her.
While literally breaking & entering to trespass on OOP's property to further "show" that OOP doing a smear campaign. 🙄I swear that fool Tasha is pulling the only dumbfuckery from the narcissist's playbook to harm OOP any which way she can while giving OOP all the legal ammunition needed to make sure that moron staying in jail for a few years.
Don't you see, Tash was right all along! Allie took away her opportunity to be a better person, and lo and behold, she ended up being just as much of an asshole as ever!
It's all Allie's fault!!
Growth is understanding that your victim is entitled to an apology but you are not entitled to have the opportunity to give it. Your victim owes you nothing.
If you believe otherwise then seek professional therapeutic help.
The fact they think it's even possible they might have said that shows the kind of person they are.
Like I couldn't be like "I don't directly recall saying the n word, but if I did it was a joke" not being trash is the easiest thing in the world.
This is the woman who was in close contact with special needs CHILDREN on a day to day basis and the thought of that sends chills down my spine
Some people are totally inappropriate for their chosen professions. My sister, for example; a totally manipulative, toxic narcissist.
She's a therapist.
No offence but I feel sorry for her patients :(
No offense taken. She straight up sucks and I haven't spoken to her in over a decade.
A broken family relationship?
If only there was someone she could talk to about it
She probably chose that niche because she thought those children would be easier to bully.
Or would get a reputation boost simply by telling people she has that job.
Definitely that. She's trying to look like a good person without the capacity to understand what that actually means. So she's checking off all the 'good person's boxes: teaching, children, special needs. Everyone will immediately fawn over her when they hear she's a special needs teacher and give her all the latitude in the world. Except OOP had to go and ruin it all! God, she sounds like a cartoon supervillain in the making and this right here is her origin story.
The update seems so strange compared to the original post.
If the comment is real, I think I could see the second update being real. Inability to see the problematic nature of their actions, 0% empathy, and a victim complex…all sounds like an ideal mix for bold and unhinged retaliation tactics.
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Especially since, even if she did break into the house, it was probably a joke.
But Tash says that she doesn't remember the incident.
It was a compliment on how welcoming the house seemed, jeez
I don’t think it’s very fair that OP has ruined Tash’s new career as a burglar. Girl just can’t catch a break.
How is Tash going to be able to grow as a burglar when she's in jail?
Yeah, why go and press charges. If OOP had just given Tash the opportunity to apologize for breaking into their house, she could've been a better person. SMH my head.
Oh god. That “opportunity to grow” bullshit literally filled me with rage. I’m physically uncomfortable now. As someone whose emotional development was massively stunted by being bullied by the Tashes of this world, I’m just sitting here seething at the idea that I would owe anything to them.
So your comment has not only made me laugh, but has genuinely improved my day. Thank you.
nonono... OP forced her to resort to it, thus further ruining her life and future job prospects.. its all OPs fault!
Yeah. The whole "she took away my opportunity to grow" thing was, like... Many kinds of unhinged.
"I tried to apologize about how sensitive she was when I told her true facts..."
"And now she's saying true facts about me, but they're BAD FACTS because they negatively impact ME. 😡😭"
A friend of mine was stalked online which she completely ignored and just kept on It was rather harmless to her. The person just kept telling anyone willing to listen that she was an asshole to him and people should be wary of her. Nothing she couldn't just swallow down.
Then suddenly it turned dangerous when the dude somehow found her name and through this workplace and guessed where she lived. Not exactly but enough to doxx her and try to get others to doxx her too. That turn was not something she ha dsuspected he'd do. And then he even send an investigation towards her.
She thankfully got that slammed down with evidence of his stalking but she had anxiety and left the online world completely.
Stalking often turns dangerous fast
I know, very strange. I was confused when it went from straightforward to her breaking into their house and chilling on the couch?? And the supposed user that may or may not be Tash. Like what am I reading??
I think Tash assumed she would be caught by Allie, not the cops. I think she was waiting for Allie to return, to… I dunno, yell at her? People like this don’t ever think their actions will have consequences until they do, and then they flip out and play the victim.
Yeah, I agree. She thought she was so sly no one would notice her scale the fence or break the window, and expected to just meet Allie at home so she could threaten her and 'make her pay'. Thank God for the neighbor and the security system.
Some people are deranged and absolutely se nothing wrong with tormenting others and take no actual responsibility ("I see I was wrong, but they did this so not really"). Tash is one of them.
This is exactly it. I had a bully hide in the bushes at my home when I was a kid and "jump" me when I left the house. No physical damage was done but it was a threat nonetheless, a sort of "I know where you live and how to get to you"
My dad’s first wife did something similar, very creepy.
A friend of mine was going through a divorce. His soon-to-be ex had left the home because the house was in his name. One day, before the divorce was final, he came home to find her swimming in his pool like she still lived there. She'd apparently jumped the fence to get in.
I'm the weirdo here, since when I split with my husband and went on the nominated date and time to collect my items from the home his mother was there and went nuts at me and locked me out so... with nothing else to do for two hours while they collected what they thought was mine to hand to removalists I went down to the pool, stripped off my dress and tights and swam in the pool in my very modest underwear for a while. I was still on the lease, it was legal, I wasn't bothering anyone, spoke to no one, didn't expose myself. My bikini was smaller than the simple underwear I was wearing. Just chilled out, floating on my back looking up at the sky being happy that it was the last chapter. The clouds were nice. When the removalist truck arrived I guided them in, they got the boxes, I handed back the keys and that was that. I really wish he hadn't been pumping a Guns N Roses soundtrack the whole time.
It reminds me of Raymond reddington, when the sits in someone's house waiting for them to come home cover in darkness. But the bully sucks, she is a victim alright by her own brain. She isn't even able to play evil.
It is honestly so surreal and I cannot believe that I now have to worry about my high school bully breaking into my house!
Some bullies never outgrow that phase. My biggest high school bully contacted me like 15 years later to apologize that it was wring what was done and I "just didn't deserve this treatment, nobody does" Was pleasantly surprised, they wished me all the best and joy in life
It’s really kind of amazing when that happens. I had numerous bullies through school (a in-group gang around 10-12 strong all things told), and not one of them apologized, but another guy who was more of a lone actor actually found me at a party and offered a sincere, and frankly touching apology.
That mood spoiler is so accurate and yet somehow an understatement! I hope you and your family are okay. I cannot imagine how distressing that is to go through.
I'm friends with one of my high school bullies on Facebook - she seems to be a genuinely nice person and send me an apology (which I accepted).
She had psoriasis (super bad eczema) & was larger and I think she decided to start school as the bully not the bullied so she just picked the other larger girl with glasses.
Her psoriasis seems way better so I wonder if there was also some home stress issues she had too.
I'm not sure I'd have forgiven her back then but with the benefit of time I have.
So some of them turn out good.
Man, if she thought getting a teaching position would be impossible before getting arrested? She's COMPLETELY screwed after. She won't be able to get a position watching dogs at a doggie daycare at this point (not kidding, you need clearances to get a position like that, at least where I live, because you end up working with some EXPENSIVE dogs). So CONGRATS, TASH, you played yourself.
Also, OP, I hope you're okay. That is TERRIFYING and I don't even know how you're holding it together, other than her being arrested. Get cameras for your house in case Tash gets bailed out. If she's bananapants enough to do what she did, she's probably bananapants enough to try it while on bail. I don't say this to scare you, I just don't want you and your family to have to deal with more scary crap from the whackjob.
Thank you for your comment. We are holding up as well as can be expected, but my husband and I are looking at leaving the area and finding somewhere else. It has been quite rattling, especially because I never thought that something like this could happen to us!
I think that's probably a good idea, as much as it sucks. But if I can offer a glimmer of happiness in all of this: You two are AMAZING parents. You didn't let someone horrible around your child to keep them safe, and now you're prioritizing that safety again. I'm so sorry you're going through this, but you're amazing parents, and your little one is gonna grow up into an awesome adult with examples like you. 💜 I'm sending all the love and light to you and your family.
They also saved a whole lot of kids from being taught from a deranged, bully teacher. One action saving so much trauma from happening.
Honestly, as much as this have to absolutely suck for you, I think you are a hero! You saved countless children from experiencing what ever is wrong with her. You might not have intended to go nuclear but this is such a blessing for everyone and anyone she would have been able to hold power over. Especially since that would be vulnerable children. I don’t get how anyone could blame you? Her being fired was just a lucky blessing that you weren’t actually responsible for. Unless you existing and her being unable to not be a complete asshole faced with the fact of your existence is somehow your responsibility. The only thing you did was simply exist and she just couldn’t not bully you… for existing… I hope karma comes for all that backs her.
Oh, god. I know this type.
OP, she's not done yet - not by a long shot. She's so narcissistic and entitled, this will now be your fault for getting her arrested ("but I wasn't going to *do* anything! I just wanted to talk, and she'd blocked me everywhere..."). She's going to keep coming after you, she's going to escalate her tactics and next will probably take a swing at your job. I wish I could say something nicer, but we all know Tash won't stop until she's properly jailed... and even then she'll blame you.
Talk to your boss about this so they have a heads up. Also, your husband's workplace should know. And cover any other bases - make sure your house is always locked, make sure the school and childcare have a list of people who can pick up your child... cover everything!
Good luck OP. I hope I'm wrong, but in case I'm not, prepare yourself.
Thank you for these tips, we have already spoken to bosses and added some extra security features at home, but we will certainly stay on top of everything!
Ah. I know or knew someone like her. She's jealous... always has been. Has a need to prove she's better in every way and you've become an obsession. You will have to put her in prison, then move, never telling anyone who might be manipulated into telling her or her 'contact' how to reach you or it will start again.
And whatever “friend” gave this nut her phone number and/or address needs their ass handed to them. Especially if it was someone in the school.
Pull your daughter from school IMMEDIATELY. She knows who your daughter is amd likely still has friends there. Find her a new school somewhere else, delays can be fixed much quicker than truama.
I would honestly move in a situation like this.
OP did say in another comment that they were looking at moving so that's already in the works. Definitely a smart plan
Tash reminds me of a poster some months back who was featured on this sub. She bullied a girl severely, girl left the school, went on with her successful life, got married, got a job and SURPRISE.....the bully ended up being interviewed at the same company that her victim was very valued at as a senior staff member. Victim told HR that if bully OOP was hired, she's resigning. Bully was rejected. After this she went on a tangent and spiraled into another job, circled back, lost that job because of incompetence and not showing up to work (mental health boo hoo). She ran into her victim at the mall, harassed her again and subsequently lost her career. This woman was on Reddit playing victim that she MUST be forgiven by her victim and how "she's destroyed my life and career".....it was the funniest thing. Consequences are real.
I think it was originally on ask a manager. I was confused as to what profession required specialist training to work in a shop and we all decided it was some creative field.
She kept using the word "niche" like that made her special.
I've always hated the abusers who believe they have a right to be forgiven. My parents tried that crap for a few years before I went NC. My father abused me physically and my mother conspired with her mother to have me beaten and abused. Once they got old, they decided that they deserved to be forgiven and I had to do so. They didnt even try making amends, just your normal gaslighting abusers pull. "Well, it wasnt our fault we had to beat you. You were such a horrid little shit and you never should have been born, you ruined my life" my mom said to me. So yeah, I'm looking forward to pissing on her grave soon enough.
One thing I've learned in life is that people aren't entitled to closure if they ask for it. This goes double for abusers.
That last update was surreal.
…. My mind went to Tash is trying to be the hash slinging slasher.
Love finding random SpongeBob in the comments.
Tash: “… and her husband deserved to know that she was not pretty…”
WTF?!?
Tash ruined her life. She is full of excuses, is whiney and she is a bully and liar. She is clearly out of control and unapologetic. I am truly surprised anyone would read this and think Tash was being bullied. Just how?
Op if you see this you have my absolute support and Im glad you took steps to defend and protect yourself. Hope things quiet down but she sounds completely unhinged.
OOP, I see you commenting here. You should know that you were not bullying Tash. It was a statement of fact that you were bullied, she said something in the classroom, and were not unreasonable asking to remove your daughter. It’s not easy to get fired, there’s a lot of things that need to be documented. This is especially true for schools as they simply cannot open themselves to liability. Unfortunately you were the final straw. If you haven’t done so already, get an order of protection for the 3 of you and your home. It won’t prevent someone from coming, but it gives you all the power in the courts and with police. Stay safe
Yep, I work for a school. We get complaints all the time that employees are singling out or bullying certain kids. If one complaint of that nature was enough to get someone fired, none of us would have a job.
All of those complaints are taken seriously; the employee has a meeting with supervisors, camera footage is sifted through, and assessments are made on the situation. In a perfect world, none of those accusations would hold weight. But some do. My direct supervisor and their supervisor are usually aware of employees with certain patterns of behavior.
She was already on their radar and had likely been told she was on thin ice.
OOP really didn't deserve any of this - but possibly many special needs students better off now...
That comment, wow... OP, you were absolutely right to block her and "take away her chance to grow as a person". She could've grown without harassing you if she wanted to.
How's your daughter doing?
She will not have been fired for that single instance alone, it will have been the final straw in a string of issues.
And considering she then started harassing and broke into the house, it's pretty likely she was problematic. And someone with that attitude working with special needs kids? Yeesh
I do not believe that it was fair of her to take away the opportunity for me to grow and be a better person.
Oh boy this is going to be a dumpster fire, isn't it?
continues reading
YUP
I have to say, feels kind of far-fetched that Tash would break into the house and just... chill on the couch. Not sure what the end game was there.
I have an ex with what I believe to be strong narc tendencies and even years and years after we split he still takes delight in trying to spring ambushes on me (although thankfully in public places because I'm very cagey about exactly where I live). I think it's a power play, a way to stop you feeling safe anywhere - "See, I can get to you, no matter where you are!" This SOB has even turned up to the funeral wake of someone who had a mutual loathing with him because he knew there was a good chance I'd be there! I think they truly get off on the look on your face when you see them because, again, it makes them feel like they have power over you.
I do not understand what her goal was at all. I was also quite confused by the fact that she so brazenly broke in during the day, but we can only assume that she was waiting for us. Fortunately she did not have a weapon or anything, but it was quite a scary experience.
Search your house from top to bottom and in every nook and cranny. Make sure she didn't leave you and your family any kind of surprises and that she didn't place any recording devices around.
You should also get cameras of your own, have one pointed at the mailbox.
We did not think that she had potentially left something behind to record us, but we will search our house today. Thank you! I am surprised that the police didn't mention this to us, but it is certainly worth making sure.
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OOP was very publicly taking control of her own life and calling out AAAAALLLLL Tash's BS. The bullies who never change their ways as an adult lose their ever loving 💩 when the object of their fixation is controlling the narrative. Even though OOP's "friends" are siding with Tash, it infuriates her that her former employer and Redditors are seeing the truth. I have seen people who cannot fathom not controlling every aspect of a situation lose all common sense to try and flex/regain their authority. I work in social services.
There is no reason for a mentally unstable person. Especially one whom appears entitled.
I certainly agree that Tash's actions do not speak to a person who is mentally stable.
Honestly I got that vibe from her comments. They go from sound and stable to a little entitled and checked out of reality
maybe to try and surprise OOP and husband-but if so, why break a window in broad daylight? why not just wait outside? this seems odd to me
If I had to speculate, I think Tash felt that this is what she had to do to “apologize” or explain her side of things to OP. She said in her comment (assuming that the comment was hers) that she didn’t think it was fair that OP had blocked her and thus denied her the opportunity to grow as a person. So now she’s forcibly taking action to force an apology/explanation on OP by being somewhere where OP can’t avoid her.
Yeah, she’s not mentally well.
It is incredibly odd, and I don't think that she was using any kind of critical thinking skills, but I am quite glad that we were out when it happened.
Woooow has Tash ever heard of "de-escalation" it's a wonderful skill I learned in school to be a preschool teacher. All the "friends" jumping down your throat sure have egg on their face now after she went off the deep end. Her losing her job after MULTIPLE complaints is on her, that you were the straw that broke the camel's back is also not on you.
"Oh I said she looked horrible but better now!" What a fucking back handed comment
Jesus Tash ruined her own damn life and everyone that says you are bullying just don't see the dominos of bad choices that led to this moment in her life.
I can definitively say as a school teacher, that Tash was absolutely on some razor thin ice with admin prior to the class meeting with OP.
Special education teachers and paraprofessionals are in a hell of a shortage right now (as are teachers in general, but necessary and niche educators especially), and most schools would rather bareknuckle box a gorilla before laying off such a critical employee.
Tash was most definitely a dead woman walking before OP even came into contact with her. I wouldn't be shocked if a replacement was already decided for Tash's job and the school was just waiting for a formal evaluation to officially shitcan her.
I wonder what possessed her to think she’d be fit to be a teacher. She lacks any empathy, compassion, or kindness for that, and a special education teacher at that.
I’m glad you called her out. Otherwise, she’d be flexing and bullying young children by now.
Honestly, that might be why she got into special Ed in the first place. She can be as nasty as she wants, and who are you going to believe? A known troubled kid who’s never payed attention in school, or the teacher?
I wonder if the Tash throwaway account is really them. Looking at their account it sure sounds like it. They get defensive, blame OOP and won’t listen to anyone in the thread.
This is long standing beef from grade school. Is there any info on what any of that is about?
Unfortunately I have no idea why Tash took such an instant dislike to me. I was the new girl and tried to hard to make friends, but maybe Tash felt that I was encroaching on her friends or her space? I don't think that I will ever really get answers, because I also think that she is acting in a way beyond logic.
I’ve experienced this myself but it was in a work environment. I was fortunate enough to quit after 3 years and never see her again.
It seems so odd that she was holding on to anger for that many years and every time she saw you had something new to dish out. I think she thought because there were few consequences when she was a child, that would translate into her pulling more bullshit and nonsense and you’d just take it. Good riddance to her, no doubt she has created her own shitty reputation and for those reasons will have trouble finding work. And now with criminal charges
Probably Tash has made OOP her target for her narcissistic rage (it’s a thing they do). They can just decide that they hate a person and target all anger towards them. They do it to their kids too. If there’s more than one kid, there’s very likely a scape goat that gets treated like crap.
I am sorry that you have experienced something similar, it is very scary! Thank you for your supportive comment.
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This so text book “peaked in high school” dear lord this person obviously has never been held to account for her actions.
That comment from "Tash". Not fair that she took away the opportunity for me to grow.
How dare the person that I bullied to the point she had to switch schools not let me contact anymore!
The "I do not believe that it was fair of her to take away the opportunity for me to grow and be a better person." was SUCH a big yikes of entitlement and made me instantly lose any credibility for Tash.
How dare you bully that woman by blocking her so she shouldn't apologize! I'm sure she only looked up your social media to deliver a sincere, heartfelt apology. /s
Seriously though, op/oops stay safe. Get cameras if you don't already have them. This lady is unhinged and likely running out of things to lose if she escalates.
Wow talk about deluded. I think when your calling people names and insulting them and you can’t recognise that as bullying you really shouldn’t be working with kids imagine what the hell she would be teaching them. To be honest I don’t blame op at all she was totally in the right and a bigger person than I would have been cause I’d have been a lot worse to her.
I think you are correct - your mild complaint can't be the only reason she got fired. Schools see their share of unreasonable/unrealistic parents. If Tash was setting the world on fire, they would've put your complaint down to personality conflict, or just old bad blood.
As someone who works with people with disabilities, this type of person is waaaaay too common in this industry.
Sounds like OOP was spot-on and Tash shouldn’t be around any children at all. Yikes.
“I don’t remember “. Remember the narcissistic prayer I didn’t say it and if I did I don’t remember and if I did you deserved it or something similar. Her response is gaslighting, blame shifting, victim blaming and trying to be the martyr. She probably “can’t remember”because she’s bullied so many people in her life. She probably bullied her students and worked with special education students to virtue signal to hear “i don’t know how u do it” or my personal favorite “your such a great person”. Like most bullies they were not validated or loved unconditionally as children. They project their abuse onto those they see as weaker than themselves. Worst kind of people on the planet.
To borrow from Gatsby.
"Tash is one of those who reach such an acute limited excellence at sixteen that everything afterward savours of anti-climax"
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