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8 Rules of Love: How to Find It, Keep It, and Let It Go Hardcover – January 31, 2023


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The author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Think Like a Monk offers a revelatory guide to every stage of romance, drawing on ancient wisdom and new science.

Nobody sits us down and teaches us how to love. So we’re often thrown into relationships with nothing but romance movies and pop culture to help us muddle through. Until now.

Instead of presenting love as an ethereal concept or a collection of cliches, Jay Shetty lays out specific, actionable steps to help you develop the skills to practice and nurture love better than ever before. He shares insights on how to win or lose together, how to define love, and why you don’t break in a break-up. Inspired by Vedic wisdom and modern science, he tackles the entire relationship cycle, from first dates to moving in together to breaking up and starting over. And he shows us how to avoid falling for false promises and unfulfilling partners.

By living Jay Shetty’s eight rules, we can all love ourselves, our partner, and the world better than we ever thought possible.
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From the Publisher

Editorial Reviews

Review

"[A] refreshing look at love as a daily practice…Shetty combines spiritual wisdom and down-to-earth guidance in a surprisingly seamless way, making for lessons that have real staying power. Those looking to start or strengthen relationships will find this well worth a look." Publisher's Weekly

“An excellent guide to rising in love to joy and fulfillment.”
Deepak Chopra

“In this insightful, myth-shattering book, Jay Shetty combines ancient wisdom and modern science to show how we can find -- in ourselves and others -- the love we all deserve.”
Lori Gottlieb

"Jay's ability to write with such truth and wisdom when it comes to love and life is masterful. Somehow a topic that has always felt larger than I could handle now feels within reach. This book left me feeling confident and clear about how to move through Love with grace."
Shawn Mendes

"Jay’s great book provides real and heartfelt solutions to the complex problems that arise around love. I wish I’d been able to read it when I was young and chasing love and I’m grateful I’ve read it now - you will be too."
Russell Brand

"This is not a book of pick up lines or dos and don'ts of dating.
8 Rules of Love is honest and filled with wisdom I've never encountered before. The next time you're tempted to ask your hot mess friend for relationship advice, pick this book up instead." Lilly Singh

About the Author

Jay Shetty is a #1 New York Times bestselling author, award-winning storyteller, podcast host, and former monk, dedicated to helping people train their mind for peace and purpose every day. In 2017, Forbes named him to their 30 Under 30 List for his game-changing impact in media. His viral videos have been viewed more than 10 billion times and he is followed by over 50 million people across social media. In 2019, Jay created On Purpose, now the world’s #1 Health and Wellness podcast. He’s been a keynote speaker around the world, invited to Google, Microsoft, Netflix and American Express, among many others. Over two million people have attended his Online School, and his Genius Coaching community provides weekly programming on health and wellness to thousands of members in over 100 countries.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster; First Edition (January 31, 2023)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1982183063
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1982183066
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 1.07 pounds
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 1.1 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:

About the author

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Jay Shetty
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Author Jay Shetty aims to elevate us from the negativity, anxiety, and hopelessness of today’s

world in his book THINK LIKE A MONK: Train Your Mind for Peace and Purpose Every Day, to be

published by Simon and Schuster on April 14. Drawing on both Jay’s experience as a monk in a

Hindu ashram and his post-monk life as an influential thinker and spiritual guide, Think Like a

Monk distills monk wisdom into practical, everyday steps anyone can take to live a less anxious,

more meaningful life.

How can we transform our experience of life today? Jay says, “When I trained as a monk, I

found that monks are able to remain centered and calm amid all the chaos that life throws at

us. Monks are the absolute experts in mastering their minds. I wrote THINK LIKE A MONK in

order to help everyone access the same mindset, the same thinking patterns, the same

processes that help monks find peace, balance, and purpose.”

Like his monk teachers, Jay draws from the Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Indian text based on the

Upanishads, writings from around 800-400 BCE. In a world where people are constantly looking

for answers, Jay believes the wisdom for how to find peace and purpose has been here all

along.

***

Born in north London in 1987, Jay and his sister were raised in a middle-class Indian family.

Until the age of 14, Jay did well in school, stayed out of trouble and tried his best to live up to

his parents’ high expectations. But he was a shy, introverted young boy who was bullied for

being overweight and a little nerdy. When he started secondary school, things changed. He

began playing soccer and rugby, became more popular, and started mixing with the wrong

crowd. Jay’s thrill-seeking ventures got him suspended from school more than once as he tried

to find his identity.

By the time he got to college at Cass Business School in London in 2007, Jay had shifted his

curiosity in more productive directions. He was reading autobiographies of everyone from

Malcolm X to David Beckham, driven to understand the roots of success and making a

difference in the world. Still, when a friend invited him to hear a monk give a talk, he agreed to

go only if his friend would join him at a club afterward.

That night, the monk, Gauranga Das, spoke about the principle of self-sacrifice. He talked about

how people should plant trees under whose shade they do not plan to sit. This was a

transformative moment for Jay. He’d been focused on the success of people who’d gone from

nothing to something—rags-to-riches stories—but this man had done the opposite. And yet he

appeared joyous, confident, and at peace. “He was saying that the greatest thing you can do

with your talents and your skills is to use them in the service of others,” Shetty, now 32, told

People magazine. For Jay, this was a completely new idea of success.

In the community where Jay grew up, it was expected that he would become one of three

things: a doctor, a lawyer, or a failure. When he headed to India to study with monks, his family

was convinced he had chosen option three.

After graduating from college in 2010 with a 1 st class Bachelor of Science degree with Honors in

Behavioral Science, Jay traded his suits for robes, shaved his head, and moved to the ashram,

where he slept on the floor and lived out of a gym locker. Half the day was spent on personal

growth, meditating for hours and studying ancient scriptures. The rest of the time was spent

helping others.

In the course of his studies, Jay was amazed to observe that the wisdom of the monks was as

relevant today as it was when it was first put in writing over 3000 years ago. Then, after three

years as a monk in ashrams in London and Mumbai, one of his teachers told him that he would

have more impact on the world if he left the monk’s path to share his experience and wisdom

with others. This advice was crushing—Jay thought he was going to be a monk for the rest of

his life. In debt, with no employable skills on his resume, he moved back home to north London

with his parents. “Everything I'd learned was tested in that moment,” Jay says of the transition.

“I had to figure out how to put everything I'd learned into practice in the real world.”

Shetty reconnected with old school friends—many working for some of the world’s largest

corporations—who were experiencing tremendous stress, pressure, and unhappiness, and they

invited Shetty to coach them on well-being, purpose, and mindfulness. Jay says, “Very quickly I

realized that a big part of my passion and purpose is to serve and give the wisdom I’ve learned

with others. I started small. For almost a decade I shared my thoughts on psychology,

spirituality, philosophy, and behavioral science at universities, local events, and in small groups

in London. Three years ago I moved to New York, then Los Angeles, and began to present the

wisdom and lessons I had learned from my amazing mentors and coaches online through video.

My intention was to share wisdom with more people so they would see there were other

people out there like them, and it would make a difference. And it did.” 

***

Since launching his video channel in 2016, Jay has produced over 400 videos, which have

amassed more than 6.5 billion views and gained over 34 million followers globally. In 2017, he

was named in the Forbes magazine 30-under-30 for being a game-changer in the world of

media. In 2018, he had the #1 video on Facebook with over 360 million views. Jay was the cover

of the November 2019 issue of Adweek and was a People Magazine “one to watch” in

December 2019.

On his podcast, On Purpose, every Monday Jay conducts an hour long interview with a

different inspirational guest. Past guests include Kobe Bryant, Jada Pinkett Smith, Russel Brand,

Novak Djokovic, Khloe Kardashian, and Ray Dalio. Every Friday Jay gives his own guidance on a

topic such as procrastination, confidence, or decision-making.

The podcast, launched in 2019, received 52 million audio downloads in its first year and over

ten million views in podcast videos. It won that year’s Shorty Award for Health and Wellness.

iTunes named On Purpose in their Top New Podcast’s of 2019 and consistently rank Jay as the

#1 Health Podcast. Spotify named Jay the #1 Podcast in India.

Jay’s message has resonated with companies such as Google, L’Oreal, Facebook, Coca Cola,

HSBC, EY, Microsoft and Accenture, who have invited him to lead seminars and deliver keynotes

on finding your purpose in the workplace, well-being for the future, and digital media strategy..

He’s become so much of a cultural phenomenon that he was even asked to portray a version of

himself in the “Bad Boys For Life” trailer with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence.

2020 will bring Jay’s message to a larger audience than ever with the publication of THINK LIKE

A MONK. In the book, Jay draws deeply from ancient wisdom, modern social science, and his

own rich experiences in the ashram to articulate a journey similar to the one he took. He guides

people step-by-step through the process of adapting to the monk mindset, first by letting go—a

cleansing to make space for growth; then by growing—reshaping your life to make decisions

with intention, purpose and confidence; and finally by giving—looking beyond yourself to

deepen gratitude and relationships. He says, “People need to go through experiences to learn,

so the book is full of practical exercises, activities, and experiments. Everything in this book is

something one can actually do in their own time at home, whether in the back of a car, on a

commute, walking the dog, or cooking.” Along the way, Jay proves that everyone can—and

should—think like a monk.

Simon & Schuster will publish the book in the US and Canada, and it will be published in more

than 30 countries worldwide. Simon & Schuster VP and Executive Editor Eamon Dolan says,

“Nobody makes the timeless feel more timely than Jay does. He makes ancient wisdom, which

often comes across as abstract, so clear, so inspiring, and so practical.”

Jay lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Radhi Devlukia Shetty, a plant-based dietitian and

Ayurvedic medicine enthusiast, to whom the book is dedicated. Jay enjoys listening to Drake at

the gym and nature sounds while meditating. He’s a Manchester United fan and really admired

Cristiano Ronaldo’s work ethic and determination on the pitch. Jay and Radhi love eating at

plant-based restaurants, visiting spas, and spending time outdoors cycling and in escape rooms.

“Jay Shetty shows you step by step how Self Power emerges when you shift your identity from

self image to self esteem. This book could change your life and move you from the hypnosis of

social conditioning to being the  creative architect of your life journey.”

— Deepak Chopra

“Grab this book, find a comfortable chair, and let Jay Shetty take you on a life-changing journey.

A gifted teacher, Jay guides us with warmth and clarity on a path to greater joy and purpose in

living, offering wisdom that we can put into practice right now.  You will want to share it with

everyone you love.”

—Robert Waldinger, MD

Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School

Director, Harvard Study of Adult Development

Sensei and Priest, Boundless Way Zen

Customer reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
4.7 out of 5
4,307 global ratings
Simply amazing!!
5 Stars
Simply amazing!!
Not 24hrs in on this book, and I’m blown away! MEN take the time and read this. As a man who was always told “ don’t cry” raised to not show emotion, or taught how to express what I’m feeling. Losing great women to my own pride, lack of communication or compassion. This book is helping me understand what I’m feeling and how to proceed, communicate and understand where she might be coming from instead of feeling attacked. Feeling less like a man because I’m showing emotion or being vulnerable. There is something amazing about being able to be that tough alpha male but also learning to take a step back and give my future partner what she needs on an emotional level. As men we are simple. We want to be loved, cared for, missed and appreciated! Just have to learn to express that! Coming from a 6foot 229 pound gym junkie who has used the gym as an escape from my feelings, and emotions who was raised never to show weakness I’m telling you to READ this book. For your relationships but further more, do it for YOURSELF!
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on April 5, 2024
I can’t say enough good words about this book. Not only the content is amazing and helpful,but the way it’s written - very precise,very easy to understand,not a difficult choice of wording. I can’t put this book down.
3 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2024
As a reader who values personal growth and meaningful connections, I found **"8 Rules of Love"** to be an insightful and practical guide. Jay Shetty, drawing from ancient wisdom and modern science, offers actionable steps to navigate the complex landscape of romance.

1. **Holistic Approach**: Shetty emphasizes that love isn't just an emotion; it's a daily practice. He encourages readers to explore their own identities, desires, and vulnerabilities. The book includes questionnaires and self-reflection exercises, making it an interactive journey.

2. **Avoiding False Promises**: Shetty debunks common myths about love and relationships. He reminds us that loneliness can lead us astray, pushing us into the wrong relationships or causing us to settle for less than we deserve.

3. **The Relationship Cycle**: From first dates to moving in together, breaking up, and starting over, Shetty covers every stage of romance. His eight rules provide a roadmap for nurturing love, both for ourselves and our partners.

4. **Practical Wisdom**: The author's Vedic-inspired insights are grounded in real-world scenarios. Whether you're single, in a relationship, or healing from heartbreak, you'll find valuable takeaways.

In summary, **"8 Rules of Love"** is more than a book—it's a transformative experience. Shetty's blend of spirituality, psychology, and practical advice offers readers a chance to love authentically and build lasting connections. Highly recommended!
One person found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United States on April 24, 2024
This is a must read if you are trying to grow in your relationship. Jay breaks everything down and gives examples of his own relationship. There are activities inside the book that you and your partner can practice. I have read this book twice now and I am still learning. This is a really good read for those who are looking to grow internally
Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2024
This book provides the usual insight of jay shetty in finding a way to approach each day and eventually share the love with the world that surrounds you. The book provides a multi cultural view of how to exist in the world in a positive way.
Reviewed in the United States on April 8, 2023
Jay Shetty’s 8 Rules To Love puts you on a quest to challenge yourself to look within. Jay's joyful, positive approach, mixed with knowledge and love, is evident in all his words. You can sense his passion for you to succeed in a relationship. Jay and his wife, Radi, are an authentic picture of love as he shares his own relationship struggles, which allows you to feel a connection with him. This book can be read in any season of your life, whether in a relationship, getting out of one or like myself, a young single woman thriving in solitude yet excited for the relationship to come! He leaves you yearning for the best version of yourself.

If you love “The Alchemist " this book is for you. Jay, our modern Alchemist, provides the reader with an arsenal of wise tips, tools and tidbits. Like alchemy, this book changes you for the better making everything around us better also:)

Much love to the future reader!
EdenGrace🤍
13 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2024
Jay Shetty has quickly become my favorite author, life coach, intellect. He’s incredibly wise and empathetic. I appreciated the meditations and exercises he provided through out this book and all of the stories he gave as examples to paint clear pictures.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on March 28, 2024
The book came in perfect condition. The shipping was quick and the box was stuffed to prevent damage to the book.
Reviewed in the United States on December 3, 2023
Not 24hrs in on this book, and I’m blown away! MEN take the time and read this. As a man who was always told “ don’t cry” raised to not show emotion, or taught how to express what I’m feeling. Losing great women to my own pride, lack of communication or compassion. This book is helping me understand what I’m feeling and how to proceed, communicate and understand where she might be coming from instead of feeling attacked. Feeling less like a man because I’m showing emotion or being vulnerable. There is something amazing about being able to be that tough alpha male but also learning to take a step back and give my future partner what she needs on an emotional level. As men we are simple. We want to be loved, cared for, missed and appreciated! Just have to learn to express that! Coming from a 6foot 229 pound gym junkie who has used the gym as an escape from my feelings, and emotions who was raised never to show weakness I’m telling you to READ this book. For your relationships but further more, do it for YOURSELF!
Customer image
5.0 out of 5 stars Simply amazing!!
Reviewed in the United States on December 3, 2023
Not 24hrs in on this book, and I’m blown away! MEN take the time and read this. As a man who was always told “ don’t cry” raised to not show emotion, or taught how to express what I’m feeling. Losing great women to my own pride, lack of communication or compassion. This book is helping me understand what I’m feeling and how to proceed, communicate and understand where she might be coming from instead of feeling attacked. Feeling less like a man because I’m showing emotion or being vulnerable. There is something amazing about being able to be that tough alpha male but also learning to take a step back and give my future partner what she needs on an emotional level. As men we are simple. We want to be loved, cared for, missed and appreciated! Just have to learn to express that! Coming from a 6foot 229 pound gym junkie who has used the gym as an escape from my feelings, and emotions who was raised never to show weakness I’m telling you to READ this book. For your relationships but further more, do it for YOURSELF!
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Top reviews from other countries

Andrea Vame
5.0 out of 5 stars Lectura
Reviewed in Mexico on January 7, 2024
Los libros de Jay Shetty son siempre una garantía sì te gusta la superación personal. Me encanto la lectura. Llego en buenas condiciones el envío.
Julia Taubeneck
5.0 out of 5 stars Interessant
Reviewed in Germany on May 12, 2024
Schönes Buch. Gut zu lesen
Chrissie
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 25, 2024
The passion! And the truth I felt! 100% recommend it! It’s really helped me understand myself. I’m doing a psychology degree and it all blends in
Cliente de Kindle
5.0 out of 5 stars Gratefully
Reviewed in Spain on March 5, 2024
Love this book and the author, thanks for giving a nice and well easy to read one.
Sharky
5.0 out of 5 stars Everyone should read it
Reviewed in Sweden on July 8, 2023
I love Jay Shetty, this book is so nice to read gives you such a good information.