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“Where are Prongs and Wormy?” Remus asked one sunny Saturday evening as he and Sirius lay sprawled out on a sofa in the Gryffindor common room. Sirius grinned fondly up at the ceiling, as if reminiscing, and said, “In detention for hexing Snape, the bloody brilliant boys.” Remus laughed, and Sirius laughed with him, before getting up. “Moony, want to listen to Andromeda’s records?” he asked. Remus raised an eyebrow. “Got a new one?” he asked and Sirius shook his head. “Nah, just thought you might want to listen to some old favorites.” Remus nodded and they walked up to the dorm. They played David Bowie’s best album (at least in their opinion)—The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. They got to Lady Stardust, and Remus hummed contendedly.
People laughed at the makeup on his face
His long black hair
His animal grace
The boy in the bright blue jeans
Jumped up on stage
And Lady Stardust sang his songs
This song always reminded Remus of Sirius— it felt so much like him.
Sirius’s gaze was fixed on Remus, not that it bothered him—they’d been like this ever since the incident , dancing around elephants, staring at each other for no reason apparent to either one when it happened.
“I’m sorry.” Sirius blurted, suddenly. Remus let out a breath that might have been a laugh if it weren’t so bitter. “I know you are, Sirius.” He said quietly.
Because he knew Sirius was, because he knew that Sirius was really , truly , sorry. But that didn’t make up for all that he’d done. He knew Sirius knew that as well, but they were getting better. At least they tried. And maybe that was all that mattered for now.
I smiled sadly for a love
I could not obey
And Lady Stardust sang his songs
Of darkness and dismay
Perhaps it was at that moment Remus decided he would say everything that had been pulling at his heart, eating him up from the inside.
“You really hurt me, that day.” He told Sirius, as if the other boy did not already know, as if they hadn’t gone over this before, as if neither of them remembered that day, god, that day.
“I know.”
“It would hurt less if it were James. Or Pete.” The words punched out of Remus before he had a chance to think about what saying them meant. Except he didn’t really know what they meant. Didn’t want to.
Sirius’s breath audibly hitched. “What?” He asked stupidly, but Remus didn’t bother answering him. “Remus— god, you can’t just say stuff like that and—and expect me to not want an explanation.”
Remus crossed his arms in front of his chest. “And why not?” He demanded petulantly, like a child. “Not like you’re any better, y’know.” Sirius huffed, irritated. Are we back here again, my love? How long will we chase each other in circles? Till we draw blood?
And he was alright, the band was altogether
Yes, he was alright, his song went on forever
And he was awful nice
Really quite paradise
And he sang all night, all night long
Against his better judgement, Remus moved slightly closer to Sirius—it wasn’t much, only a few inches, but it was enough that if they leaned in only a bit closer, their lips would brush against each other’s.
Oh, how I sighed when they asked if I knew his name
The song was almost over. “This song. It reminds me of you.”
And before Remus knew it, he had pulled Sirius into a kiss, long and hard and oh.
He threaded his hands through Sirius’s hair. “This is nice.” He whispered.
Oh, that was alright, the band was altogether
Yes, he was alright and the song went on forever
He was awful nice
Really quite paradise
He sang all night long