User Reviews

I always thought Cormac McCarthy's stories a bit overrated. Gross gruesome and ugly. But this movie really takes the cake. It's bad beyond belief. What is amazing is how they managed to get top notch actors and director to do this movie. Unlike No Country this tale tries to contrast some glamorous with the ugly but the whole story is so pointless is just isn't worth the effort.

The sexual scenes are so bad they aren't even funny from the opening scene with Penelope and it's banal dialog to Cameron and the car. She is above such a degrading scene. She is A list. Brad Pitt all uglied up is above this too. As for Michael Fassbender I know actors more often than not have to take roles they can get but this one wasn't worth it. At least he didn't have to hump a car. The violent deaths and decapitation by that stupid device are just violence for the sake of violence and serve no purpose.

The screenplay is so badly written that the plot isn't clear in a totally unnecessary way. There are so many stupid things like why didn't Penelope's character get out of town straight away? What about Javier's character he knew he was in trouble too. The speeches by the characters are okay but hardly compensate for the story. The only good point is the ending is realistic didn't have any cute rescues but it was just so depressing.

Don't waste your time.

THE COUNSELOR (2013) * Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt, Bruno Ganz, Rosie Perez, Ruben Blades, Goran Visnjic, Dean Norris, (uncredited: John Leguizamo) Disappointing neo-noir from Ridley Scott and Cormac McCarthy (his first - and should be his last - original screenplay) which makes not-a-lick-of-sense about titular Fassbender (surprisingly wooden) who finds himself in over his head in a drug deal gone awry involving mysterious cowboy middleman PItt (far-too-sedate here), an obnoxious nightclub owner (Bardem relying on wild-hair and rock star accouterments instead of 'acting), and a drug cartel out for bloody vengeance. The cardinal sin of this potboiler is the first leaden hour cannot compensate for its too-quick-to-kill final one and wasting Cruz completely. While Diaz is the film's saving grace as a femme fatale with a feline complex nothing else is worthy or remarkable except how much of a dud this truly is.

Watching the star-studded Ridley Scott drug smuggling caper "The Counselor" is like paying to participate in a "Scared Straight" program. "Scared Straight" is that fear-inducing program where juveniles are given a taste of what to expect if they pursue the path of evil. Hopefully, the convicts who intimidate the juveniles in "Scared Straight" frighten them out of a notorious life of criminal endeavor. In "The Counselor," a well-to-do Texas attorney gets himself caught up in a narcotics smuggling scheme and learns first-hand the meaning of Murphy's Law. Everything that can go wrong for our ill-fated protagonist does go wrong, and the hardened hellions who surround him warn him at every turn to back out before it is too late. Michael Fassbender top-lines a stellar cast of familiar faces that include Penélope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Oscar-winner Javier Bardem, Brad Pitt, Rosie Perez, Rubén Blades, and Goran Visnjic. In most Hollywood crime melodramas, the good guys win in the end, but "The Counselor" has no winners except its toxic felons. If you abhor movies were evil triumphs over virtue, "The Counselor" is definitely not for you. You aren't tempted to sympathize for anybody. "Alien" director Ridley Scott and Pulitzer Prize winner author Cormac McCarthy have combined their considerable talents to craft a movie that is incredibly chilling. For the record, Cormac McCarthy is the same fellow who wrote the novel that the Coen brothers turned into the movie "No Country for Old Men. Brad Pitt's death scene in "The Counselor" alone is worth the price of admission if you can keep your hands away from your eyes.

The hero in "The Counselor" (Michael Fassbender of "The Centurion") is known only as 'the Counselor.' Nobody ever addresses him by either his first or last name. This El Paso attorney has wind in his sails. Successful and savvy, he cruises around in a convertible Bentley and appears to want for nothing. Happily, he has landed the lady of his dreams, Laura (Penélope Cruz of "All the Pretty Horses"), and he dotes so dearly on her that he flies to Amsterdam personally to choose the diamond for her wedding ring. Little does Laura know is that her handsome fiancé has gone into business with a couple of low-class dastards living high off the hog. A shady night club owner named Reiner (Javier Bardem of "No Country for Old Men") who has snorted one line too many and a smooth-talking cowboy, Westray (Brad Pitt of "Thelma & Louise"), both warn 'the Counselor' repeatedly that he should turn tail and light out. Indeed, "The Counselor" amounts to a Biblical caveat to flee evil. Our naive hero has bought himself a piece of a $20-million cocaine caper with the shipment of smack destined to be delivered to Chicago. Meanwhile, beneath the border in old Mexico, the cartel seals up their product in large, air-tight barrels and conceals them in squat, heavy, septic truck that looks like it could go bumper-to- bumper with an armored car in a demolition derby and win. The in-joke is that one of those barrels contains the pickled body of a Colombian who has endlessly been shipped back-and-forth like a joker in a deck of cards for whoever finds him. When he is found, he is resealed and shipped off with a qualm. The bad guys get the vehicle across the border safely without a hassle, but another bunch of thieves later hijack the truck. Not only do they steal the truck, but they also decapitate one of their motorcycle adversaries called "The Green Hornet" with a wire strung across the highway! Death is as horrifically gruesome here as it was in any "Saw" sagas. These guys and their cronies don't any better. They are waylaid by another pair of cartel gunsels masquerading as Texas Rangers and die in a fierce gunfight. An innocent motorist driving up on the scene of the shoot-out by accident desperately struggles to elude lead, but he doesn't stand a chance of making a getaway. The surviving cartel gunman calmly reloads his machine-pistol and riddles the poor slob's truck. Not even the innocent bystanders have a chance in "The Counselor!"

"The Counselor" boasts an array of vicious but memorable villains. Cameron Diaz of the "Charlie's Angels" epics stands out more prominently than either Javier Bardem or Brad Pitt. The character that she plays crossed the moral line between good and evil so far back that even if she looked back, she would never see that line. We are told the only thing that she remembers about her parents was the sight of seeing them thrown from a helicopter at age three. Vulgar wench that she is, her idea of sport involves turning her pair of pet cheetahs loose on jack rabbits in the desert at dawn. Malkina, as she is called, has cheetah spots tattooed all over her back, loves to masturbate on her boyfriend's car windshield, and goes to confession as a joke to regale the priest with her tawdry tales. As it turns out, she is the evil mastermind behind the thief of the smack. Who says women cannot be bad girls? When scenarist Cormac McCarthy isn't creating devilishly, overwrought villains, he conjures up some of the most poetic dialogue that you will ever hear. Meanwhile, Scott and "Crimson Tide" lenser Dariusz Wolski have created a movie that on the basis of its elegant cinematography will take your breath away when the hair on your back isn't standing up. Altogether, "The Counselor" qualifies as a superb but corrosive crime thriller with harrowing death scenes that you won't forget after the rest of the action has faded from your memory. There are no happy endings here for anybody. Spectators who love to challenge themselves to see how much offensive material they can swallow before losing their cookies will probably be the only ones that will truly appreciate Scott's masterpiece of amoral horror.

When the names Ridley Scott and Cormac McCarthy are connected to a project, one can't help but visualize the noir visual poetry of Scott's Blade Runner and think of the harsh, grim storytelling excellence of Cormac McCarthy. Unfortunately their project, The Counselor, lacks all of the wonder that has gained them respect in the film industry.

The story, the first original screenplay written by Cormac McCarthy, is meant to be didactic but instead comes off as a pedantic mess. It clomps where it should glide and leaves film-goers expecting more than they receive. The story is about a lawyer, The Counselor, who somehow (that is never explained), is brought into a drug deal of some kind (which is never clarified), to an extent that we aren't privy to. There is also a secondary tier of characters who The Counselor knows, many of whom are also involved in the drug deal yet we never learn why or how they're involved; not what I was expecting from a man heralded as the most important writer in the country. Add to the soggy script McCormack's usual lack of understanding about women, his fascination with unnatural sex and predictable, but not particularly interesting violence. There are dozens of nonsense plot turns and character inconsistencies. Long amounts of time are spent in developing characters that never appear to have any significance in the film. Wise men abound; there's a wise diamond expert, drug cartel lord, and a couple of un-identified wise men. Meanwhile, the only three women in the film are a whore, a personified animal and nun. There are a few other women to be seen; either dancing in bikinis or pouring coffee.

Whether it comes from the script or was added as an artistic touch from Scott, there is an infusion of grade school obvious symbolism throughout the film which is so blatantly obvious it borders on being offensive. The good guys live in completely white houses and the bad guys all drive black vehicles, that sort of thing. One of the many weaknesses of the film is the cartoon-like quality of the characters. It's difficult to determine if they were written that way or if it was an artistic decision on the part of Scott. Either way the experiment was a failure. While the cartoon effect can be used deftly in film, in this picture it creates one more bruise on an all around achingly painful film.

Occasionally a disastrous script can still work on some level if there are exceptional performances. Unfortunately the two leads, Michael Fassbender and Cameron Diaz, are the weakest links in the picture. Michael Fassbender, as the good guy who made a bad choice, is meant to keep us engaged, even if we don't understand his motives or his reactions. We should feel something with or for the character. His performance is so flat that even at his most sniveling, snot-flying crying moments the audience sits in a numbed daze.

Cameron Diaz is painfully inept for the lead role in which she is cast. She's supposed to be terrifying and mysterious, but instead comes off as not understanding the meaning of most of her lines as she recites them in a staccato tone reminiscent of a poor high school performance. It is such a clunky performance that she often emphasizes the wrong word in lines of dialog. As if her performance isn't ludicrous enough she is also saddled with a ridiculous appearance. Her character is literally designed to look like a cheetah. Her hair is sculpted to resemble the cat and she is tattooed from behind the ear all the way down her back with a cheetah pattern. The film opens and ends with a hit-you-over-the-head-with-a-frying-pan obvious symbol that she is the hunter. We're told repeatedly that she has "done everything," and she says that she has "done very bad things" yet the only example we are given is a sophomoric, insulting, male erotic fantasy in the form of masturbation. The final scene of the film, which should be edifying and revelatory, instead is painfully predictable and full of the hunter symbolism which represses any message that could survive Diaz's droll delivery.

image Javier Bardem, with his crazy troll hair and unthinkable clothing combinations, is ironically the most human of all the characters and perhaps it's due to his exceptional acting prowess. He is forlorn and powerful; confused and focused. The complexities that he brings to the part offer a welcome respite from the bland work by the leads.

Brad Pitt shows up in all of the advertising but his part is minute. He plays an urban cowboy of sorts; he dresses in outdated polyester cowboy garb and is smart enough to have a well planned exit strategy if things go wrong. We are supposed to believe that this same man would fall for an obvious female infiltrator and that he would order Heineken at a bar in El Paso, TX. His character would never order an import. Conflicting minor details like this compound the myriad of larger problems with the film.

Penelope Cruz's beauty and talent is completely wasted. Her character is so one dimensional you feel as if you can see through her. She is stereo-typically the "wife" in the "wife" or "slut" scenario to the point that she wears a cross necklace, talks about going to church, is hesitant to talk dirty to her lover and doesn't want to know the value of her diamond.

There have been no early reviews for the film. Many wanted to believe that it was to refrain from plot spoilers and maintain an air of mystery. The truth is much less interesting. It's because this is a horrible film in every possible way.

Don't believe the bad reviews here: If you love intelligent, really dark gangster movies, this is definitely one to see.

It's so sinister it hurts - but not in an "in your face" way, but gradually. McCarthy has written a piece about predators (very eloquent predators - the dialogs, or rather monologues, are a thing of real beauty). And don't let anyone tell you they are not good because nobody talks like this. This is not the point of this movie, anyone who wants a realistic, mindless action thriller is in the wrong movie. These are dark poetic gems, perfectly brought to life on the big screen.

The plot is merciless. There's no relief (some great comic relief moments aside, but they leave the viewers as puzzled as the characters in those scenes), the violence is shot in a way that shows you what violence is (it hurts, it's terrible, there is nothing noble about it).

The predators (and this is maybe the main theme of this movie) triumph all the way, to the point where it almost physically hurts. Diaz is perfect as the ice cold greedy killer (in big cat tattoos), this is, in my humble opinion, her best work ever. As viewers, we are left as baffled by the predators' moves as are the many innocent bystanders we see again and again (in restaurants, on the streets, in Mexican bars).

There are, however, many people with redeeming qualities (if you know and like McCarthy's work, think the ending of "The Road"). This is where the word "counselor" clearly becomes ironic: He does not counsel anyone, he just listens, he gets counsel throughout the movie. And even all the predators (only Diaz is purely evil beyond redemption) have good counsel for him. He just does not listen to anyone, and that is his downfall. Even while he really does his job as counselor, in prison with the perfect Rosie Perez, he just receives orders. There's also the brief, brilliant appearance of Natalie Dormer towards the end - here, we get a brief glimpse of humanity, too. And, of course, we get it in Laura's love (great as Diaz' opposite: Penélope Cruz) - doomed, because the counselor cannot listen.

Acting was very, very strong throughout. And visually, the whole thing is a feast, too. Not just because Scott knows what he's doing in every scene. Whoever chose the settings and clothing should get an award, it was just perfect in every way.

A man would give entire nations to lift grief off his heart and yet, you cannot buy anything with grief, because grief is worthless.

This is a difficult movie to rate. I have mixed feelings about it. The first part is terribly tedious and boring. A series of hugely pretentious dialogues and incomprehensible philosophical reasoning. It is a montage of various fragmentary issues that make it difficult to sense the vibe of the movie and to understand what it's about. Also there are subjects used that were completely beside the point in my eyes (the erotic beginning for starters). Also the total absence of any explanation of how they ended up in this situation, makes it uneasy to follow the storyline.

Ridley Scott, of course known for his masterpieces "Blade Runner" and "Alien",didn't succeed in keeping up the momentum. You first need to endure a full hour to finally realize what the contents of the movie is and after that you can enjoy a rough settlement by the drug cartel. And that's the double feeling about this film. The first part gets a unsatisfactory grade. The second part is the counterbalance.

In terms of characters Brad Pitt tops them all. A savvy person with a reserved and confident attitude that apparently has everything well organized. When something starts to go wrong, he can disappear instantly and retire for the rest of his life. His white suit and Stetson on his long hair gives him a dignified appearance and a rebellious appearance at the same time. Michael Fassbender as "The Counselor" was convincing as a lawyer , but what the hell is he doing among those criminals ? He looks like a choirboy who will start to cry when slapped in his face. This is also something that is not really clear . How did he end up with the drug lord Reiner ? Is he also a kind of counselor as Tom Hagan in "The Godfather" ? I don't think so. He would earn enough money and wouldn't be involved in the drug deal that ultimately will bring him down. Money problems perhaps ? I don't think so either since he can travel all the way to Amsterdam to choose a diamond.

Javier Bardem was also brilliant as the eccentric Reiner. He looked just like a tanned Tom Jones. Cruz played only a minor role and she was just a religious prude naive woman who was constantly upset by the others. The only one I hated instantly, was Cameron Diaz. She is as hot as a typical non-functional oven and she's clearly getting older resulting in slight hanging skin at some places. Besides the fact that she plays a dual role in a sly way, she tries to shock sexually, with as highlight the sticky wet routine on the windshield of Reiner's car.

The story on its own is dead simple and it doesn't need 2 hours to be told. It took so miserable long because of the dialogues as mentioned earlier . It was terribly annoying after a while . Even with subtitles in English , it didn't make any sense to me sometimes. Everybody seemed like having an academically degree in languages. It seemed as if they had to transform every dialogue into an anthology of an intellectual high level with a lot of difficult words. Even the drug baron Reiner and someone from the drug cartel used those intricate descriptions. They sound so philosophical that I doubt they could understand themselves. A fragment of the Dutch diamond expert sounds as follows : "To partake of the stone's endless destiny, is that not the meaning of adornment? To enhance the beauty of the beloved is to acknowledge both her frailty and the nobility of that frailty. At our noblest, we announce to the darkness that we will not be diminished by the brevity of our lives.". Even after reading it three times again, i still can't understand the deeper meaning .

The most impressive scene was the liquidation of Brad Pitt. It was filmed fairly explicit and gruesome. The best dialogue was between Pitt and Fassbender about Snuff movies. The funniest thing was the fact that they twice used a joke that's often told here amongst friends. The one the motorcyclist told about the dog food. The second about the Pope in Mexico. Funny to experience that.

Final conclusion: an intricate dead boring first hour as a precursor to a quite impressive offensive end. Ultimately, on average, it is still not sufficient.

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Down in Mexico, drugs flow like water. When a successful lawyer decides to go into business with criminals to get a piece of the action, the blood starts flowing too. The Counselor focuses on the Counselor (Michael Fassbender) and his business dealings after he becomes engaged to Laura (Penelope Cruz). With things going smoothly in his life, the Counselor tries to make some money on the side by getting himself mixed in with drug trafficking and opening a club with his friend, Reiner (Javier Bardem). Being a successful businessman and criminal, Reiner is mixed up in a confusing sexual relationship with Malkina (Cameron Diaz) who ultimately has ulterior motives from standing by Reiner's side. With the club being funded by Westray (Brad Pitt), things for the Counselor could not be better, that is until one of his clients, Ruth (Rosie Perez), calls the Counselor from jail, and asks him to get her son released from jail over a speeding ticket.

Thinking nothing of it, the Counselor gets Ruth's son out of jail. Once released, the son meets a man at a coffee house, picks up a device that belongs on the truck that is trafficking drugs, and leaves the meeting. All the while, an assassin had been spying on the meeting, and set a trap for Ruth's son, who speeds down the roads at over 200 MPH. After the son is dead, the assassin collects the device, and leaves the body in the road. The people Ruth's son were working for suspect the Counselor was behind the killing, since he freed the son from jail. Fearing for their lives, the Counselor, Reiner, and Westray scramble to save themselves.

Plain and simple, The Counselor, directed by Ridley Scott, is awful. The movie does not make any sense. The opening scene is an awkward lovemaking scene between Fassbender's Counselor and Cruz's Laura, and then proceeds to have sex as an underlying theme in the movie, which was, in my opinion, completely unnecessary. The movie is confusing enough without adding aspects that do not even remotely make sense in context. Throughout the entire 117 minutes, The Counselor jumps from scene to scene, plot point to plot point, without any sort of transition or explanation. To be honest, I had absolutely no idea what the movie was even about until I looked it up when I got back from the theater. Drugs were only seen twice, at the beginning and the end of the movie, and only mentioned once, which was strange given the fact that the movie was about drug trafficking. The acting was OK. None of the actors stood out and gave memorable performances. The storytelling was sloppy and haphazardly thrown together, and the writing was terrible. Quite frankly, my favorite part of the movie was the end credits.

Of the duds of October movie releases (Runner Runner, The Fifth Estate), The Counselor is by far the WORST of them all. Granted, I gave Runner Runner and OK review and The Fifth Estate an mediocre review at best, I would recommend those movies a thousand times before I would recommend The Counselor once. The movie was sloppily made, confusing, poorly written, uninteresting, and boring. If I could give it a lower number of stars I would but I cannot, so I stick with one star, and I beg you, please save your money.

Rating: 1 of 10

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