Au Pair In America

We had our au pair for five months. In that time it became very clear to my husband and I that this girl had some mental health and emotional issues. She had many days of acting completely normal and others where she wouldn’t talk to us. She would hide out in her room and sleep all day. Then she would tell me she was sick and five hours later go out with her friends on shopping sprees. She didn’t deal well with the hardships that come with taking care of small children and would have panic attacks every time she thought one might throw up. We tried our very best to always include her in activities and make her feel like part of the family but to no avail. We moved into a new house on Long Island in Suffolk county and our new counselor was just horrible. First thing she told us was that it was her experience au pairs did better with their own cars and if we couldn’t provide her one then we should be giving her money for Uber. The website clearly says that we do not have to do that except for cluster meeting or school and truthfully our au pair said she could drive but was always drifting into oncoming traffic every time we took her driving so we did not feel comfortable. After we moved our au pair began lying and faking illness to get out of working. Then she would take off with her friends for hours after her shift had ended and seem perfectly fine. When I decided to talk to her about it she basically told me she was depressed, her friend back home had died and she didn’t think she was cut out for the job so of course that made me really uncomfortable thinking I still needed to leave my children with her until I could find a replacement. I realized very quickly that this relationship we had with her was going to end soon as she told us she had decided to return home. I called the new au pair counselor and left a voicemail that evening obviously upset about what the next step was and she was so rude on the phone the next morning and made it very clear to me what her hours of availability were and it was clearly not when I called and left a voicemail. We moved forward with the rematch process and set a timeframe for the au pair to leave. She agreed she would stay with us until we found someone and returned back from our honeymoon. When we returned back from our honeymoon my mother who had also helped care for the kids had some interesting things to tell me about what the au pair had disclosed to her while we were gone. She had told my mother that her reason for leaving was not because she was depressed but because of my husband and for her not to say anything until after she left to go back home. That he had said horrible things to her and she couldn’t stay with us anymore. But she didn’t want to rematch she was just going to go home. My husband was always nice to her and tried very hard to make her comfortable and there would be days where she would be very outgoing and receptive and days she would sit on the couch completely sucked into her phone and anti social. I waited for a time where her and I could talk and spoke with her about it and explained to her what my mother had told me and that I didn’t understand why she would say those things to her and tell us something completely different. I asked her to explain to me what exactly was said to her and why should would say those things which were obviously very untrue. She had nothing to say for herself. At that point we talked and it was clear that I was aware of what was said, she was going to leave as soon as we could find a place for her to stay and that we would continue to search for a replacement. We also agreed she would clean her room and make it look the way it had been given to her before she left. That was all I asked. She retired to her room for the night...so I thought and I went to shower. Twenty minutes later I find she had packed all her things not leaving us with even as much as a goodbye. Her room was in shambles and she was gone. This was around 11 o’clock at night. I of course called the au pair counselor because now this was sort of an emergency. She didn’t say she was leaving or even where she was going. She answered the phone and the first thing out of her mouth was “I’m in bed!” I apologized and told her what happened that our au pair had left and she says “what do you mean left”? I said she’s gone she packed her things and I do not know where she went. Only at that point did her tone change and begin to speak kindly to me. I was clearly upset as I felt like we had been so kind to her and to be treated that way in return I didn’t even have the words. She reassured me she would look into it and that hopefully our au pair would be in contact with her in the morning. The next day we found out she had gone to a friends house and would stay there for the remainder of the week until her flight back home. We continued to look for new au pairs without much help from the counselor I may add and juggled the kids between our schedules with no child care at this point until the third day when I received a phone call. It was the regional manager from Connecticut. She wanted to speak with me about some accusations that had been made from my au pair about my husband and get my side of the story. She explained to me that the au pair had made some severe accusations about my husband’s treatment of our two children and a claim of child abuse had been made. I was shell shocked at this point as she explained to me what this girl had said. I told her it was absolutely untrue and what my experience had been with this girl over the course of five months. She basically told me that now that a claim of abuse had been made that it would have to be documented and put in our profile and would severely effect our search for a new au pair from that point moving forward. They train these girls for one day and all of a sudden they are expert reporters on child abuse. What they fail to understand is some of these girls are from third world countries and very different cultures and lifestyles. This girl told me her father used to hit her and punch her in the face and now she was making claims against my husband like he was the same kind of monster. I explained this to her and asked how they could just take what this girl had said as truth, only getting our side of it to still document it? What happened to innocent until proven guilty? She then got very defensive and told me that they take the word of every au pair to be the truth and that they are qualified reporting agents on this kind of thing. It didn’t even matter we had cameras in the house to prove otherwise. I told her that I wanted my money back that what I was promised by the agency was not what I was given and I wanted to end all ties. She basically agreed and I got the feeling from her it was probably better before I ended up with CPS at my door step. My husband and I got refunded maybe a third of what we paid. We later found out that when au pairs claim abuse and decide to go home that the agency actually will pay for their airfare home. When an au pair just decides to go home they have to pay their own way. This experience was terrible. As the paying customer you are not the priority. We even referred a friend and my husband’s sister to this company which they both had already paid and begun the process prior to this situation happening. And yet we were made to feel like criminals, bad parents and left with absolutely no child care without even as much as an apology. I will never use this company again this girl made sure of it. I would not recommend it to anyone there are other au pair companies out there that will make you the priority. This one will not. It’s disgraceful how they treat people.

This is the third Au Pair agency I've dealt with and by far the worst. Our family has a special set of circumstances and chose Au Pair in America because they boasted the largest applicant pool. Our kids are older pre-teens. The company put a lot of pressure on us to make a fast decision and kept adding applicants who were young (some still in high school) and had never lived away from home. They also kept recommending applicants who had little experience with boys. When I told them that I screened for experience with upper elementary boys, they seemed surprised that I would do that. When I did find possible candidates and tried to contact them, it was like pulling teeth to get a response back. I believe this is a result of their lack of exclusive interview policy. What is the problem with pulling a possible candidate out of the pool for a couple of days so the candidate and host family can focus on one at a time? The candidates who did respond were the ones courteous enough to say, "thanks for the offer, but I've accepted another family." I offered interviews to over 2 dozen candidates and got to interview only a single one. When I did offer the one the position, Au Pair in America sent out their local coordinator to interview our family. Two days later I got a message saying that they had decided they could not accept our application and place an au pair in our home at this time. I called to find out more information and they would tell me NOTHING. Just a broken record--"we can not place an au pair in your home at this time." Zilch. Zero. We have had au pairs in our home for the past 4 years. Why in the world would they reject us? I have no clue and Au Pair in America ain't sheddin' no light on my frustration. Do yourself a favor and avoid this agency. It's a lot more work, hopes dashed, and disappointment than it's worth

We have 2 young daughters (5 and 3) and thought that the au pair program would be beneficial to have someone outside the states come and give them a broader world view as well as help with managing the kids. Within 11 months I had 2 au pairs who were completely useless. The first au pair barely spoke any English and just generally could not manage taking care of a household and kids. Our account manager was brought in but was generally useless. She basically twisted it around to say it was on us to train and teach and give it more time and let her go to school and settle in. Well, a broken stove, waking up late, sending the kids to school in the winter with no coat where the school had to notify me, damaged bottom teeth on my younger one from a fall (she was not in the room watching her when it happened and claimed she was playing on the rug the entire time and did not fall. The dentist and dr seems to disagree saying that impact is not from just slipping on a rug unless she was pushed) and countless other issues we finally rematched after 4 months. We rematched to a lazy 19 year old who during the interview process claimed to be a healthy cook and ate gluten free to upon arrival her idea of cooking was boiling everything and eating doritos which last time I checked was not gluten free. even though we showed her how to make certain dishes and even purchased blue apron and hello fresh for her, she did not even follow the recipes! for a ramen recipe all she did was boil the noodles and fed it to the kids. yes plain boiled noodles! no broth no nothing. when I asked her why she simply said she was "too busy that day and didn't have time" meanwhile shes complaining of being bored within the first week within her arrival and is asking for the car none stop. i opted to leave the program early and the girl was completely unprofessional leaving a threatening note just because she did not want to pay for a parking ticket she received when she used the car and because of a vacation day that was "not clear" it was time off. this is in additional to 4 extra paid vacation days we gave her that didn't count against her accruement not to mention half days here and there where we never requested to have her "make up" any hours. she didnt even say good bye to the kids. when we contacted our account manager about the note she basically said we should have just paid her the extra money and left it at that saying that the girl said she was working over her hours and sucked it up and we should be glad etc etc. however i have my mom over 2-3 times a week and my husband who comes home early once a week to ensure she is not over her hours. the account manager simply says well that's not what the au pair says. so i guess MY MOM IS LYING about when she comes over to the house and watches the kids but this 19 year old is telling the truth. on top of that the girl is out late every night, and we found a case of wine in her room when we went to close her window because we turned on the ac for the bedrooms and our new stove was broken again though of course no one owned up to it as well as dents to the car..... the list of issues go on and on. i would NEVER recommend this program to anyone. the au pairs that come here do not want anything more than to free load and play around in America. they have little interest in doing a good job and the agency does nothing to really filter out qualified candidates. on top of that the agency does a really *** job at "customer service" if you can even call it that. its always the host families problem and wrong doing and the au pair is always overworked. the acct manager is completely biased and do not care about your family or your children. threatening notes are left at departure and it was basically stated well i should have just paid her off and what do i want them to do about it. WORST COMPANY EVER!!!

We interviewed many au pairs and found one our children adored and she adored them. We were ready to match quickly to ensure an arrival early in the fall. I was somewhat familiar with a cultural exchange as we had an exchange student when I was in high school. Our desire for an au pair was more for the cultural influence than the childcare. Everything moved smoothly - our home visit was completed, all forms filled out appropriately and then things came to a screeching halt. We had been assigned to a different rep than we started with. She froze our acct because she wanted some things added to our family essay- which was added and sent to her the same day. She had expressed concern because we were building a new home and thought it might be too stressful for the au pair to have to move. Seriously? They can handle moving across the ocean to a foreign country but can't move 5 miles with an established family? The young woman we had chosen offered to write a letter stating it would be fine with her. We also offered to release APIA from having to replace our au pair when we moved if she didn't want to go to the new house. Day after day I would call and email without a response. We contacted the rep that did our home visit after multiple failed attempts to reach the rep. She offered to call the rep and arrange a 3 way conference call. A few minutes later I received a text that we would have to go through the one woman who never answered her phone or emails. Later that day I did receive an email that she was unavailable for 10 days and would contact us upon her return. Almost two weeks later she had not made any attempt to contact us. One last call resulted in yet another unanswered voice mail. Later that evening we received an email that our application had not been accepted. No reason why- just not accepted. Our children and our au pair were devastated. We had spent a lot of time getting to know her and she was preparing her life to come to the States to join our family. You might wonder about us being denied- we are wondering that as well, but I can say we were accepted by two other agencies that had a more thorough application than APIA. I guess we should be thankful because through this process I realized this company would not be available to listen or help us if we had concerns. I think we dodged a bullet. So what about our au pair? She was the one we really wanted and we decided not to pursue another au pair. She withdrew from APIA as well and has decided to forego being an au pair. We have extended an invitation to her to come to stay in our home as our guest as a tourist- for as long as a visa would allow- she wouldn't work- Just be a guest and see what America is all about.