The Andalusian Widow (1977)

 

(Original Title: La Viuda Andaluza) A surrealist Spanish musical making idiotic jabs at religion and tradition - one of the most unwatchable films I've witnessed in a while. Bárbara Rey actually sings and dances (oof) as a widow who movies to the big city, hooks up with a guy named Rampin then flirts and sleeps around with everyone she meets.

The cartoon opening credits are easily the best thing about this movie.

Bárbara Rey is a widow who's just arrived from her small town to the big city.

The Cardinal (Escamillo) and his entourage.  This film tries so hard to poke fun at religion.  Oh-how-so-very-irreverent. 

Rampín (Francisco Algora) and the the widow.

Honestly, I don't even feel like describing what's going on in this film.  It basically amounts to Rampín continually trying to get into her pants.  If the musical element wasn't bad enough, they speak in ye olde tongue.  

Infrequent nudity from Bárbara Rey is just about the only reason to watch - and even that's sparse and rather tame.

Can Bárbara Rey sing and dance?  Well, not so much.

Like I said - who gives a flying shit what's going on - just try to enjoy Bárbara Rey's cheesecake and move along.

The widow plays every single rich tool in town.

For fucks sake, who thought this was a good idea?  A musical about nothing, with medieval language, dumb songs with dumb lyrics, hamfisted jabs at religion, precious little nudity, zero laughs, forced surrealism... beyond unwatchable. 

★☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆1/10