6 Signs You’ve Fully Been Sheltered from the Outside World-Challenges to Expect

Disclaimer: This post is not intended to put down a person's way of raising anyone. This is an experience I simply felt the need to share, to help those who realize the reality of this world in a blink of an eye, and to help them navigate through our real world of lesser rainbows.

Being sheltered from the outside world, so much to a point where you’ve probably lived right by the ocean before but never seen it, is generally not an ideal situation for anyone. A person who realizes they’ve been sheltered most of their lives will most likely go through many challenges as they get older. It can also affect their daily lives of becoming mature adults throughout their lifetime.

This topic is something I find very important to talk about, which is why I decided to share my knowledge and experience to help those who need to realize the situations they’re in, and to help them find some possible ways to fight their circumstances. Life is indeed beautiful when we’re clueless about it as kids, but we need to be ready for it when it throws itself at us as we get older. That way, we can face any challenges we encounter with grace and perseverance by utilizing the important skills it teaches us over time. If you’ve found yourself struggling with the realization of being sheltered, this blogpost will share my experiences and help you point out the 6 signs you’ve fully been sheltered from the outside world and the challenges to expect as an adult.

1. Finding it Extremely Hard to Engage in Social Conversations

Feeling socially awkward is one of the biggest signs of being sheltered from the real world. At a younger age, I always felt like I was in my own bubble, and wouldn’t worry so much about other environmental settings even when I felt left out. At first, being shy was okay because I could be “saved” very quickly in any non-family related conversations. As I got older, I realized I had been too comfortable in my tiny bubble, to the point where the most basic topics outside of what my family talked about sounded extremely confusing and clueless to me.

In high school, I simply couldn’t relate with or continue long conversations with class mates who were having real life issue at the time. I didn’t have any issues with having school discussions, but social conversations made me feel stuck. When I started college, I couldn’t speak up to dig myself out of an unbearable situation, both socially, and mentally. It was like I was tossed onto a whole new planet and need to learn a new language to fully adapt.

2. Struggling to Find a Sense of Independence As An Adult

As a sheltered person, you somehow feel the need to ask for permission to do things that are not related to house chores or school work. You are most likely not allowed to make major decisions on your own. When you’re young and sheltered, especially in your late teens, you may start questioning certain rules and wondering why you aren’t allowed to do these things; like not being able to meet up with friends just like everyone else, only being allowed to hang out with your siblings, not being able to fully join the sports team you wanted in school due to unplanned curfews and random accusations, not having a phone until college (basically when a phone is actually needed), or not even being able to check the nearby mailbox alone. Let’s not even talk about dating!

It’s not that you’ve had these experiences before and want more of it, it’s that you just haven’t done them at all at that age. You can only imagine how tough the first few years of college would be for someone who had no such experiences.

It’s quite ironic though, that as you get much older, you are sometimes expected to suddenly know how to do certain things. I got comments like “oh, you’re 19 now, you must now know how to apply for jobs and speak in public” when I had been trying to learn how those processes worked at an earlier age to help prep myself. With public speaking, I was also told to never have social anxieties or feel nervous because I was old enough to start speaking. I started feeling the pressure to know things simply because I was getting older, but at the same time, I felt like it would have been necessary and helpful to get some information and/or practice first. I don’t believe that knowing everything randomly comes with age without experience. It’s a process, at least for me. This makes it much harder to be independent once you are on your own.

The basic examples above are some general life experiences you should automatically experience as you grow. It helps with personal growth and gives us basic social skills. A basic skill shouldn’t be expected with age.

Related: How to Overcome a Sheltered Upbringing – The Journey of Becoming a Mature Adult (Part 1)

3. Public Speaking is Almost Impossible

In addition to struggling to find a sense of independence, public speaking is another issue that links to being sheltered. You may notice that you are very comfortable with one person, but when the number doubles, you start feeling so nervous to speak. You may feel reluctant to speak or participate in anything, simply because you feel out of your comfort zone. This most likely means that the biggest crowd you have probably been around is your own family. Basically, any other non-family gathering that involves more than one person freaks you out. Generally, being nervous and having anxiety eases out a little the more you interact with other groups of people. If you had been in frequent social gatherings, you would find it more familiar to practice public your public speaking skills, even if you hate it.

Please note that this is different from someone not willing to participate in a situation they don’t want to be part of. It’s more so allowing yourself learn how to cope with yourself in public.

4. Poor Social Skills – The Strange Feeling of Shutting Down & Being Stuck

I truly believe that these are signs of social anxiety. So, let’s recall a time when I was with a few friends on a super short vacation. We all gathered to have some friendly, social conversations at a cabin. A few moments later during the discussions, I found myself unable to speak. I felt so stuck, confused, and extremely sad because I couldn’t add on anything any of them were talking about. Mind you, the conversations were adventurous and playful, filled with expressions I just felt so unfamiliar with. And then there were board games, and then there were card games and then karaoke, and I just shut down. I didn’t know how to play any of those games. So, instead of receiving open arms from my age mates to teach me how to play some of those card games and help me learn how to socialize, I began wondering how different it would have been if only I wasn’t sheltered from the outside world in the first place. It felt exhausting to be there. Taking such risks felt impossible and I didn’t want to be the center of attention as someone who lives under a rock. I didn’t even know how they could help me with my situation. I wanted to be part of the fun, but I just didn’t know how to. I felt so alone. As I began shaking and sweating out of nowhere, feeling nervous and ashamed with a fastened heartbeat, I isolated myself, laid in bed for the rest of the night, until a special someone talked me out of it all for the rest of the night. It was a process, but I had to gradually force myself out of that fear. If it wasn’t for that one person, I would have left the scene.

I still didn’t speak much the next day because I was embarrassed. I knew I definitely had a problem and needed to work on it asap as an adult. Social skills definitely doesn’t come easy to everyone.

5. Your Mates Know Ten-Thousand Common Things That You Know Nothing About

Like I previously stated, if it’s not schoolwork, you probably haven’t heard of it as a sheltered kid. This stretches from various aspects of life; from playing games (pool, chess, uno, Call of Duty, etc), to watching the most popular childhood movie or cartoons, to knowing about the newly used slang terms in our generation. You don’t even know your favorite hobbies when you’re sheltered. You are just so clueless about life and socializing.

Related: How to Overcome a Sheltered Upbringing – The Journey of Becoming a Mature Adult (part 2)

6. When it All Clicks, You Realize How Different the Real World Is

Life is not all rainbows, but a sheltered person may think so. Don’t be so overwhelmed when you realize the impacts of this. After this is all over, you will feel so woke! You will literally find yourself in that process.

Sheltered people may not even realize how much they have been living under a rock. Often times, a way to realize that they have been clueless about the world is when they move away. That sometimes gets them out of their bubbles.

Now that you’ve read this, shout out to you for realizing your circumstances and thinking of ways to conquer these tough challenges. It’s hard to find someone to understand you, but the first step after realizing this is by learning to be mentally independent. Everything else will follow.

Remember This: It All Clicks at Some Point

The moment you realize you’ve been sheltered, life will never feel the same. It is up to you to see it and do something about it. This journey can be lonely because not that many people can relate to you, but it’s okay. You’ll find people who will give you a second chance at life experiences.

If you feel sheltered and are okay with it, that’s totally fine. However, if you believe that being sheltered has slowed you down in so many aspects of your life and you would like to overcome that, I want to reassure you that you can always dig yourself out!

If you liked this post and also find this relatable, please stay tuned for my next blog post about my top ways to overcome being sheltered. Trust me, you won’t want to miss it!

Thank you for reading!

Check out how to overcome a sheltered upbringing (Part 1) here.

Check out how to overcome a sheltered upbringing (Part 2) here.

Check out 8 ways to start off the new year with a positive mindset here.

Barbara

xx