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Start by following Ronnie Barker.
Showing 1-18 of 18
“A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.”
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“There was a fire at the Inland Revenue office in London, but it was put out before any serious good was done.”
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“There was a strange happening during a performance of Elgar's 'Sea Pictures' at a concert hall in Bermuda tonight, when the man playing the triangle disappeared.”
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“A ship carrying red paint collided with another one carrying purple paint. Both crews are thought to be marooned.”
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“The toilets at a local police station have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go in.”
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“The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.”
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“Don't just crit there siticising.”
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“My wife tries not to bring out the beast in me -she's afraid of mice.”
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“If I was as rich as a Rockerfeller I'd be Richer than Rockefeller, because I'd do a bit of window cleaning on the side.”
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“In a packed program tonight, we will be talking to an out-of-work contortionist who says he can no longer make ends meet.”
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“I knew I was going bald when it was taking longer and longer to wash my face.”
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“It's only when you look at an ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day that you realize how often they burst into flames.”
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“I really have a nice step ladder. I never knew my real ladder.”
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“It was one of those years when God bent over and kissed California.”
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“I went to a restaurant the other day called 'Taste of the Raj.' The waiter hit me with a stick and got me to build a complicated railway system.”
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“You can tell a lot about someone's personality if you know his star sign. Jesus was born on December 25th, fed five thousand, and walked on water --typical Capricorn.”
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“If you drop a Bible from a height you can kill a field mouse; so maybe the Bible isn't all good.”
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“I never saw my granddad --he was excellent at hiding.”
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