Talk:Roberto Orci/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ruby2010 (talk · contribs) 22:46, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

I shall review this, hopefully within the next few days. Ruby 2010/2013 22:46, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

I'm so sorry for the delay with this review – I spilled some water on my laptop two weeks ago, so my ability to edit has been a bit limited lately! I do intend to complete this review soon. Ruby 2010/2013 14:08, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

No problem! Miyagawa (talk) 19:46, 10 February 2016 (UTC)

Preliminary comments

• Screenwriter can probably be unlinked, per WP:OVERLINK

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 10:06, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

• For easier readability, I feel that this sentence could be broken up: He began to work with longtime collaborator Alex Kurtzman while at school in California, and together they have worked on television series such as Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Xena: Warrior Princess, and have created Sleepy Hollow alongside Phillip Iscove, and Fringe with J. J. Abrams..

• How about, "He began to work with longtime collaborator Alex Kurtzman while at school in California. Together they have worked on many television series including Hercules: The Legendary Journey and Xena: Warrior Princess. In 2008, the pair collaborated with J. J. Abrams to create the science fiction series Fringe. In 2013, Orci and Kurtzman created Sleepy Hollow alongside Phillip Iscove."
• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 10:06, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

• "The duo since returned..." --> "He and Kurtzman since returned..."

• Done. Miyagawa (talk) 10:06, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

• Lots of repetition of "work" in the lead – can you input some alternate wording?

• I've reduced that quite a bit. Miyagawa (talk) 10:06, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

• Do you know why they began working with Abrams on Alias? Why did he hire them? I feel this is important, since the three have collaborated so much since (but it's ok if you have trouble finding anything – I'll try looking too).

• The only information I can find is on a DVD description on Amazon.com (so no use here) by the Writers Guild of America that Orci and Kurtzman were approached to join the writing team. This would have been on the basis of their work on Xena I imagine. I'll keep looking - they might mention something in their filmed interviews with the WGA. Miyagawa (talk) 10:44, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

• Same for Michael Bay – is there any information out there on why Bay might have hired them?

• I'm not sure about this either - I managed to find a single mention by Orci about some possible apprehensiveness on Bay's part, but that's literally the only reference I can find by Orci to working on the film. Miyagawa (talk) 10:44, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

• I found a few articles about their relationship that might help: [1] [2] Ruby 2010/2013 16:44, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• I find myself wondering about Orci's opinion towards these early projects. Is there anything out there you could include? I feel a bit more autobiographical detail wouldn't hurt here.

More to come! Ruby 2010/2013 05:12, 27 February 2016 (UTC)

More comments

• "Orci and Kurtzman's K/O Paper Products continues to operate as a production company within CBS Television Studios, and announced that they were working on a pilot based ..." Who announced this? The duo, company, or network?

• I've re-written that line - when I wrote that originally, Limitless was still at the pilot stage. Miyagawa (talk) 23:36, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• Since Orci is an American, shouldn't the article be written in American English?

• Completely. Unfortunately I'm a British English writer, so if you could point me at what I've done, I'd appreciate it as then I can make those fixes. Miyagawa (talk) 23:36, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• No problem. I've gone through and made some AmEng copyedits. Ruby 2010/2013 04:45, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

• Has it been revealed why Orci was dropped from directing Star Trek 3? Perhaps due to his controversial comments?

• Funnily enough, his comments were prior to being initially hired! Although it hasn't been specifically said, it was been hinted that he was dropped because he was unwilling to compromise on his script which apparently included some degree of time travel once again and the studio was hesitant to go there. So they dropped the script, and in turn dropped him from the director's position as well. He's still credited on the existing film as a writer, despite not a single line of his version appearing in the final script as it was completely re-written from scratch. Miyagawa (talk) 23:36, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• That is interesting! But I suppose if no sources have actually confirmed that, we can't add it to Orci's article. Ruby 2010/2013 04:45, 6 March 2016 (UTC)

• I found a bit more biographical information on him here and here [3]

• Thanks, I've added those. Miyagawa (talk) 23:36, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• This article mentions that Matador was cancelled. Include in Orci's article? Ruby 2010/2013 16:44, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

• Thanks, I've added that. Miyagawa (talk) 23:36, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

The article is really looking good, but I'm finding that there is a lot of content out there for possible inclusion. You don't necessarily need to go through the articles I posted, but I feel some of them contain some good details. Let me know what you think. Thanks! Ruby 2010/2013

• Thanks, I've added those you suggested and also added a couple more of my own as I realised I hadn't mentioned Scorpion in the text of the article etc. Miyagawa (talk) 23:36, 5 March 2016 (UTC)

Final

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Alright, I've made some additional copyedits and checked the article per the criteria above. I think it is now ready for GA-status. I'm so sorry again for the delay in finishing this review – I've had some computer issues lately, but I know that's no excuse. You've been very patient and responsive during this whole process, so I wanted to end this review with that most cliché of lines: keep up the great (WP) work! I always enjoy reading your articles and hope to continue doing so in the future. Ruby 2010/2013 04:45, 6 March 2016 (UTC)